Tag: Gifts

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

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Writer’s Block, yeah in a way because I have no clue what I was thinking today and then we had yesterday, I broke out of my place, got into a present, and of course cracked open one more book, and became someone else, sigh. A Professional Eraser Will

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Episode 178 ~A Professional Eraser Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well when I was in school, I had a friend they called SKINS, don’t ask me why, that memory sigh deleted, erased… but I don’t think it was because he was “hitting the skins,” anyway he wanted to be a hitman, an eraser. The things young men think about and in so doing since I can be anything I want even at my age I decided that I wanted to be a writer and that in itself is sin number one.

Now, this is more Lady Sophia’s barrel of laughs, but there is not a doubt in my mind that writing is what I’m meant to do so sin number two, what have I been doing all day besides sleeping… anyway living out my purpose has led to two things. For a third sin I don’t recognize who I am most days, hell in my last story we have a brothel owner, wolf boy, a MILF doctor, and inspirations from MOLD. My fourth sin is overthinking, the “man” talking to you now with the stomachache, the kid on his lap, and who is hyped up on an energy shot is the same one who is slamming his head on a steering wheel on Christmas morning yesterday.

“Cogito Ergo Doleo” I Think Therefore I Suffer, how many people do I know speak Latin but it’s not going anywhere and don’t I want to be immortal as a writer and yet my words are probably sitting in some old church lady’s glove box, in police reports, my name in some girl’s blog. So what is today’s point; well you’ve heard me talk about my “White Wall Theory” you know, scribbling on my skull, reading books, and of course, writing, and in one way I’m “trying” to erase myself, write over it, lose myself between the lines of “code.” Which leads to my fifth sin, my Motivations are saying that everything you want lies on the other side of fear and so I ask instead of erasing, editing, E-reading, who I am or want to be, shouldn’t I break?

The wall I mean, hell Trump should have hired me because I have built something that keeps out everything and keeps me in an asylum and wondering why the outside is so scary or even who do I think I’m protecting? Hell, “Indiana Gone” bought me the Zombie Survival Crate from Man Crates and if that doesn’t show the man I honestly am, a survivor of the DEAD, the Dominant, a Devil in disguise, but breaking into that crate was far quicker than saying I’ll Break The Walls Down when I rather apologize for all of my weakness Inspector Echo.

I am sorry for my profession and wasting it, for losing myself and hastily rebuilding myself with my overthinking, and keeping all of my fears inside or using them against a wall I can’t break, no A Professional Eraser Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

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The good thing about writing fiction is I can tell myself a story every night and tomorrow morning and then when it comes to setting my fingers to the task suddenly I have writer’s block so let me tell the truth. Just Facts It Will

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Episode 171 ~Just Facts It Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, for all my “creativity,” “originality,” and porno acumen the FACT is I lack Discipline, Direction, and sigh Desire because I’m still here though the jury is out on my embarrassment, ego, and evil… such “good intentions.”

Now we’ll get to those Inspector Echo, first let’s talk about what happened Monday which I’m still torn up about, my Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, OCD… all in my head right, okay so my manager asks me to give this girl (I’ve never met) a hard tag remover. So I walk to the front of the store, see a girl working with a customer and I hang around for five minutes trying to read her name tag because I’m HORRIFIED to ask her name (eyes getting better, nope). Anyway, I end up leaving the device on the farthest register away from her and then coming back to the house; don’t get me started on why they don’t want me opening the store, hell my ANXIETY is libel to get the place robbed, hating my life.

I’m not the only one that loathes MY life, what about my parents; the things they must tell themselves; the house I ran to, they bought, because telling blessed, black, believers that your son is in a mental institution or dead would be too much. Speaking of too much and people I don’t talk to regularly, remember that year I wrote to “REALDOLL” hoping I might get one, $$$ well guess where some of my money is going this year.

Aren’t I suppose to be numbering sins… anyway while I’m counting dollars you say why don’t I give money to charity; now that is a big question but quickly I give money to writers (NaNoWriMo), women (Friends, Workers, Sex or Otherwise), and my world, Step Into A World. I didn’t even get my mother a gift and her birthday was on Dec. 16 and as far as Christmas goes, would I say I hate it, but I bought gifts for all the other women in my life, now if that ain’t a sin. The last fact of the day is how little I know about myself or the fact that everything I want for Christmas is still impossible, immoral, illegal or insane, case and point some girl saying Let Me Be Your, Siren, or Detroit: Become Human; what I bought it for someone else right.

So may you forgive me Echo my apparent lack of triple D’s but abundance of E’s, my embarrassing workday which goes to show why I will not go up for promotion, though I owe so many, my charitable connotations, I am grateful to my mother dearly but what a child she gave to the world, a man… didn’t I say Echo, Just Facts It Will.

I Will Have No Fear