Tag: Be Nice

Saga 317 ~Mommy, B III, Vivi…~

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Think Mom. The fact that I even remembered and that’s because I hung signs at the Day Job. And if mom had a chance to rethink it… uh, that would be another conversation. My sister should be an only child… But my worries today? Mommy, B III, Vivi

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Saga 317 ~Mommy, B III, Vivi…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so it’s all about me. What about you? Always the selfish prick. There’s Ma, Braxton, Virgil Vivi…

What is a list of your priorities? What about a list of your loves? V’s not there yet. Ouch! Okay, um, start over… Today is Mother’s Day. That’s the truth you can hold on to. Millionaires and Billionaires take care of their Olds. Something else you need to look up. Oh, that’s right; what have you been looking up today? I know this is so “freaking” hard right now. For the love of everything, will you stop for a sec? Take a deep breath. Hmm… It’s Mother’s Day, and as the song goes, “I’ll Always Love My Mama.” Facts, thankfully. But what else can you say about your Ma? Besides her paying some, if not all, of your bills, sigh… List? Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As I said, plain selfish. But wasn’t I yesterday? Last night as I sat meditating, I was told to think positively about a good friend. My effing mind didn’t think of B or V. Friend? Anyway, it wasn’t my Ma either. Only it was a mom. Braxton’s Aunt Carolina. Great. Now what about that list? There’s your Ma, Braxton’s Aunt, and your sister. Not to mention all the other moms you know from one place or another. Facebook, Instagram… Onlyfans? Yes, you’re going to get to that. If only you had the time. Your Ma had time for you, hmm? There’s something pretty effed up you wanted to say, but not today. You’re here, alive. But what does that mean? For her? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING (Determining)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You owe your Ma. So tell yourself the truth. Where is all of your money, moments, and manhood going? At least your sister gave her grandchildren. What was Braxton? Family. And even now, the only family you’re concerned with is a plethora of MILFS. Today? Please! There’s been one in a video here or there. Uh… But it’s been about women you want to make mothers. Breeding has never been an all-consuming fetish of yours. You should save this conversation for another time, but still. Gifts for mothers, particularly yours? What about the truth? That’s what’s bothering you this morning. Cherry doesn’t want motherhood and now knows you’re STUPID. Eurovision? Where’s B III’s Aunt today? And M Anime? Happy Mother’s Day. Mommy, B III, Vivi…

833 Days Without B III, Day 274 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 314 ~ B’s MEASURED Words, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words… Well, adults lie? And here I am, trying my hand at “adulting.” But I’m like a bully. Words. They may cost me the girl. Make V not trust me. And make me sing, I Hate Everyone. B’s MEASURED Words, Virgil.

Thursday, May 11, 2023

Saga 314 ~ B’s MEASURED Words, Virgil~

830 Days Without B III, Day 271 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Those words never change. Names and letters? Did I ever say anything to hurt you?

Of course, I did. And I’m still paying for it 823 days later. However, we are talking on Sunday, May 7, 2023. You know what that means. Sad to say, Braxton, this week is gonna suck. Not as much as most, but still. Anytime I have to breathe. Meditation Braxton, always. Well, at least for a month and some change. And you don’t like when I talk about, let’s say, shedding the mortal coil. At least I do speak to you. Talking to Virgil… freeloader, fatty. I need to stop with names like that. Hell! I’m not sure he even knows “his name.” Who am I, a slave master? And I would call you a little douche. All the time, B III. Looking it up…

Anyway, I need to talk to Virgil more. Even today, he’s been hanging out in your room all by his lonesome. Do I need more reasons to miss you? I would wear a groove in the loveseat working. I’m surprised your pillow held up as long as it did waiting, Braxton, waiting until I had all the time in the world for you? Last week it was all about your Aunt. I told you it was her birthday. The only thing she’s measuring is alcohol intake. Your dad has no such luxury. I wish I did. Only you know I’m much worse. Why V is alone. The lies we tell our children. I should have let you be a dad. You remember our walks. People…

Hell! Every footstep is heavier now. It’s like I walk a little except for, you guessed it, the Day Job. My pockets would have been fatter with everyone wanting to buy you or have you breed. Only Virgil won’t have such problems. Ball-less, barkless, except for his bawling anytime I leave. You know I was about to say “it.” Like father, like son. I’m still crying over you. But I don’t think I’ve shed any tears this Sunday. The heart, head, and balls are all heavy. Though I’d ask you to keep that last one to yourself. But your Aunt. So nice. And I continue thinking about what M Anime said. Can’t say something nice… I’ll try with Virgil, Braxton. Promise? B’s MEASURED Words, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

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I wish I could tell everyone at the Day Job. When B barked, cried, and even the click clacks of his nails on the floor. He was helping me out. People make noise to make noise. Then there’s Virgil, who doesn’t make a sound. “I’ll B Listening, Virgil.”

Sunday, May 7, 2023

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. I need you to hear me on this. Alas, I don’t have boobs. You don’t have balls.

Like father, like son. But V is not your son. Now, B III? Are you listening to him at all? God! You hope not. Considering; the first thing you heard this morning was Zero 7’s song, “Destiny.” And Rock-A-Bye by Black Buddafly. One of these things is not like the others. Destiny, though… any song that mentions porn gets your vote immediately. No wonder B hasn’t been around besides being dead and all. I mentioned effing up on the 30th. It could be worse. I’ve often said I’m a Pop Culture Whore. As you will be. Unless it comes to The Coronation of Charles III and Camilla. The Kentucky Derby, and even WWE Backlash. There’s been so much noise this week; with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 128 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing to do them once again. When was the last time you heard the sound of success and victory? When was the last time somebody called you a winner? You need time. Hell! You were up on time this morning, and what did you do? Don’t be like me. That’s my advice. And there’s another F-Word you should try to avoid. You won’t put it into the universe, but it involves the Day Job. This week won’t be so bad… But you need to write. Fuck! Yeah. I’ve been trying to avoid that word. And you should too. But you’re a big boy, according to Carolina Bound. As the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis,” ha. Bigger than, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Mesmerizing Caroline series?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because speaking of fucking, that’s one of the things you’re most concerned with, isn’t it. Always. Friend, when the girl you wanted to fuck, doesn’t want to fuck you anymore… As the song goes, “That’s how you know you fucked up.” Accept my apology. Never? Hell! You won’t find out this week, given her track record. But I am sorry I screwed this up for you. Racism is more noise you don’t need. So instead, you’ll be listening to what? I count four songs so far. And what were you beating off to this morning before you went back to sleep? Azura Skye and Alyson Hannigan from Buffy, Conversations With Dead People. That’s how I feel talking to you. But Braxton? I’ll B Listening, Virgil.

826 Days Without B III, Day 267 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 307 ~Virgil’s Sitting Where B~

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“Come on in, (girl), sit on down, and tell me ’bout yourself. So, you like my (Daddy), do you now? I think (he’s) something else.” B barking Rodney Atkins. To think my loveseat wasn’t a casting couch, but I found love once. “Virgil’s Sitting Where B”

Thursday, May 4, 2023

Saga 307 ~Virgil’s Sitting Where B~

823 Days Without B III, Day 264 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If you find the time, could you and your Aunt Carolina’s kids say Happy Birthday?

I still feel so gross B. There’s the belief… Hell! Damn, near a fact that I’m sick. The things I do when you ain’t around. And to think I warned you about, um, some things. Manly huh? Braxton Barks, it could be that I’m acknowledging you being in “Heaven” or on The Rainbow Bridge. Never! It’s Sunday, April 30, 2023, and I called out “Medicine Time.” And, yeah, there’s the idea, if you are gone, that you met your Aunt’s kids in Heaven. Today as in, May being her birthday and all. How about Star Wars Day? Your Aunt’s pissed… But me being the selfish bastard I am… Like most days, I wish I was a ghost… to join you. Remember sitting on the loveseat?

B, you’re watching over me, worrying, waiting; for what I don’t know. Live, Laugh, Love? Please! That is a book I’m never reading. And the books that I got in my own time, B III. Time? Again there was Medicine Time, Outside, Sleepy, and many others I know. The one that gets to me the most is Dying Time… I was sitting on an orange bench as the vet told me she could do nothing. Then there I was on another one watching you die. You got to lie in your bed, at least. Is there any wonder I want to stay in bed always? Well, besides being sick, of course. And then there’s 2V, B. Writing this afternoon, from where? The Dining Room. Shocker!

Because the bed is a sad place, even when there’s a woman there now. Ha-Ha! It wasn’t many of those when you were here. And after? Your Daddy is a sick man. A bad one… And I keep saying it. Having V lying on my leg or sitting at your guard post, B III. No! Why not go back to the loveseat, you say? You know I am never happy but to get so close. It was lying with you. I would read, and you would sleep, and that was us, you and me, B. There was watching movies with your Aunt. Remember when you finally let her in, B? The power of boobs. A few books, free Meditation, the Freeloader. Virgil’s Sitting Where B

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t buy the loveseat in the Den. I bought 99% of the food I’ve eaten there. All the movies I watched with B and Carolina and the hot maid. Paid for every book read there. And the adoption fee for Virgil. Am I broke yet? Virgil, We’ll B Spending.

Sunday, April 30, 2023

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have plenty of women, a wife. Uh, “whores,” (I like alliteration)! You have Virgil.

Poor Virgil. Or should I say poor you? Not that I can blame you at all. Hell! You may have already failed several of those Six Impossible Things, and it’s only 9:00 AM -for real. I’m the one that wrote down that list… of books. You’re the one that spent three hours buying them. Ok, so I lied. We can both take the heat on this one. But getting up. Everywhere, everything, every time, there is FEAR. It’s the only reason you saw 5:00 AM. Oh! And if this was the Day Job? That’s why you have a lot of writing to do. Swear It! Nope! I’d say do it for Virgil. You’ll spend more time crying about Braxton. Because again, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 121 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They might as well be lies. Let’s call them fiction, which again brings to mind all the books you bought today. Around thirty bucks worth. Even more? Eight books in total. I’d ask, are you crazy? But of course, you are. It would be well worth it to spend time with Triple B once more. Although only two or three are suitable for little ones. B III was grown ok. Hunger Games, dead fur babies, sex, eating people, wisdom, pornography, coitus, intercourse. At least Virgil Vivi can say he was by my side when I went shopping. Not for him. Do you want to spend more time with him, since you don’t have money to go anywhere for a while? Work on, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At the very least, you could spend time on the loveseat instead of in bed. I was only in the Den to meditate these last few days. Is that so I can find peace or get away from Virgil? You’re working at the dining room table, so you’re thinking… Both. How so? Yesterday when I was leaving, I had to yell at him for all his howling. He didn’t want me to go. But isn’t that what you’re doing, though? When it comes to Braxton? Going all, Stay With Me? You’ll have to try singing to V. Or at least using his name. Would it help? B III is gone. And Virgil someday… Yourself? Not soon enough to find B. Guess, Virgil, We’ll B Spending

819 Days Without B III, Day 260 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 300 ~To B Alive, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“What is real? How do you define ‘real’?” Um, sorry, Morpheus, but what is living? How do you define living? The way I figure, wife and children (two-legged). “My business?” “Cash rules everything around me.” Fame, fortune? My son. To B Alive, Virgil

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Saga 300 ~To B Alive, Virgil~

816 Days Without B III, Day 257 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How about this question, B? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Big! Final answer? No. January 31st, on that day, your answer would have been, “Take me home.” And you would be my son, and that’s all that mattered to you. Afterward… whatever. Instead, in your bed, you asked me a question. Drugged, dying… “Why can’t I stay?” Braxton, I should do some more reading. “Pet Grief: How to Cope Before and After?” Yeah, I never read that stuff when you were around. Of course. Always and forever. Braxton, I was reading last night. The book discussed how I should replace the video of your death with “happier” memories in “my mind.” So as I risked life and limb today, I sat in the car and thought. You’re always riding with me. The pendant I wear…

Then I thought about Virgil sitting in your spots—the passenger side of your best friend’s ride. There’s him on the bed. And there’s your room. Your pillow Braxton. Dammit. Months later, and I’m still pissed about that. But Virgil’s petrified. Am I that bad… Thursday, I’m your Dad. 300 days of the Saga I continue to be. That is all and nothing more. Well, a pervert that wanted to eff the woman I was working with. Besides the point. As I keep saying. Most days I want to join you. Hell! All days. You won’t like this, but you have something in common with your granddad. Him living, you being dead B life sucks! Virgil feels the same way about me and him, sure.

Virgil is the life I should be worried about. He did well at his appointment. But with all the money I’m about to lose this week. Let’s start with forgetting to pick up any dinner. Don’t worry, you would have got your fries, or Virgil did. The little freeloader. Stopping! Anyway, I wish being broke was the only bad news. But it’s not like reading good news is doing me favors. Braxton, it’s like fate, karma; the universe can’t decide. You got me through 2020, Braxton. Now if it isn’t, the world is going to Hell; it’s all those angels I talked about with Echo. And today I saw Tobe Nwigwe got in a movie. Again I’m proud. But Braxton, I’m wasting “my life” existence… Alive? To B Alive, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

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I would have died for Braxton. And who knows, I could go broke for Virgil. And even if I hadn’t had two fur babies, as the song goes, “I’m bleeding and broken.” Always in one way or another. Mental, Physical, the Man in the Mirror. To B Broken Virgil

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you exist more like Seong Gi-hun from “Squid Game.” You are not a horse… That’s positivity.

The most you’ll get today because you feel like crap or glue. Either one works for the horse analogy that’s going on. Hell! Back in the day, I bet on the horses (sigh). Good Times? And now, these Hard Times. If it’s not your body… And for once, you’re not thinking about your wayward dick. Anyway, your body is broken, or your bank account. Broke? What does that mean to you? More effing work. I left you with so much to do with my “Lazy-Ass.” How many pop-culture references is that; wanting to hear anything? Billionaires don’t have to listen to anybody if that helps. That’s why I’m talking, and you’re listening. Or you’re trying to. More like you need to understand… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 114 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When will Braxton coming back be on the list? It’s not like you’re doing four of these things anyway. I was ready to break #4, dammit! One pain in exchange for another. One head for another. Instead of a hard-on, you have a headache. Luckily you have a few pills. Why not cry, “I’m just a sucker for pain!” 812 days, revenge, justice, punishment. The “precision of language?” If that doesn’t sum up every effing word, you’ll say this week. Words like Humiliation, Sorry, and the greatest of these is Love. Ears and eyes work. Only you’re still broken, and Jesus ain’t coming by to save you. Would you want him anyway? If he or anyone else had saved Braxton… But no Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I got six more. Um ok. Uh, again. As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha. Your right ear is perfectly fine. You don’t need your ears living a “Bukkake” scene. Keeping your pants on other than in the bathroom will be pretty effing easy. Bukkake? No. You will not cry about Braxton today. Will you be happy with his memory? You’ll have something to look forward to tomorrow. And be one step close to Billions. You’ve healed completely! The Cherry Collision, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart? Existence? Today you will live. Yeah, I’m laughing at that one too. Mental Health broke. If anything, cancel those OnlyFans subscriptions. Be grateful Virgil’s little body is broken. According to vets. To B Broken Virgil

812 Days Without B III, Day 253 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

WillLeave a comment

Once Bitten, Twice Shy… A phrase? On my playlist? The reminder of a pup while at the Day Job. Hell! Why was I even there? B needed food, and he ain’t here no more. The other pup has an upcoming vet visit. The long walk? No! Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

809 Days Without B III, Day 250 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I would be if you were still here. Or I had that billion, I promised.

I’ve always wanted to kill someone. Whoa, Dude! Is that your voice I’m hearing, or am I talking to myself? I have a lot of explaining to do. You know how that goes. The time… Okay, you’ll be happy to know that I didn’t spend all of it sleeping as is my way B III. Reveling in food, reading, and effing raging at myself for today. Two out of three. Anyway, how does that equate to me wanting to kill anyone? I’m always angry, Braxton. So, I’m sharing with the freeloader… Okay, Virgil. He tried taking my fingers off… with the food. Once bitten, twice shy, aha; continuing on. If I lost a finger, I’d never feed 2V ever again. And killing? I killed you.

I’ve always wanted to uh… Let’s say join you. The police and others have been everywhere these past few days. Add to that the manager. I don’t need cops at the door. And I need to stay employed. For what it’s worth. But B, the idea of death doesn’t bother me. No, not ever. Yours did, fair enough. But my own? I’d only have to be lucky once. It crosses my mind more and more. Despite numerous attempts. Hell! You were there, Braxton, watching—something else to apologize for. I’d say I’ve always wanted to apologize—every day. B III, the last time I thought I was dying… Well, I remember the day you died, Sunday, January 31, 2021. And now Virgil Vivi’s appointment (sigh).

I’ve always wanted to save a life, Braxton. And isn’t this it? One more tough week, and now Virgil sees a doctor Friday. It scares me to death. I wish. Virgil Vivi needs his vaccination. And what about this existence? Once more, I’ve felt all sorts of ill. Or should I say a Republican? Yeah, a member of the GOP. Once again caught doing something wrong by a black person. Um, watching dog videos at the Day Job. I keep saying it. I miss you! I’ve always wanted to bring you back to me. Only I’m not reading about reincarnation. Once bitten and all that. Having killed the one I love, how could I ever? You live in me. And Virgil? Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 286 ~Virgil, You’ll B Who~

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When I think about who I am and who I want to be. Can I go back before the Olds signed whatever in the hospital? Before I signed off on what would happen to B. More writing when V stepped into the world. B and I, we were just us. Virgil, You’ll B Who

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Saga 286 ~Virgil, You’ll B Who~

802 Days Without B III, Day 243 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s polite to ask. Isn’t it? I want to think the best part was me.

Am I feeling good about myself? Considering at the moment, it’s Monday, April 10, 2023. I know I won’t finish our conversation today. But I’m time traveling. And I can already tell you this week is going to suck. I know you can always say that I’m still alive right? But whoever I was the day you left died with you. And how many times has it been B III? I’m still mad at myself. Yes, always about what I did. But if we’re talking about more recent events. Today is Monday. I was supposed to tell Madam Justice all about Rule 287. It says, “Some Are Born Many Times.” I’m missing books on reincarnation. I think I’ve given up in a way—only Death.

Grim effing Reaper, Necromancer, a god? Way before meeting you, B, I had such dreams. Oh, no worries, Triple B; I was lazy then as I am now. Only why am I up right now? There are so many people making their way in this world. Studying medicine, though, Braxton? I’ve told you that there was a time when I wanted to be a veterinarian. One more thing I could’ve done to keep you alive. As far-fetched as it may seem. Because working on people… I don’t know people. And you know what they make me out to be, Braxton—being your Dad. I know who I was, who I am, and I was proud. And who I am now. Who I want to be.

Well, somebody who’s not crying, for starters. Is this because I’m thinking of your cute face? Or that I’m so tired. Be lazy, be dead, be me like father like son. You’d follow me anywhere. And if anything, I’m a dead man. All these books say you’ll beat us there. Rainbow Bridge? I wish I could be the kind that believed in that Braxton. But I wanted to believe in reincarnation too. And then I looked at Virgil, and for a moment, you will be… Popular? Hell! I post Virgil’s picture every day almost… An influencer that has a dog? Not me! And Virgil’s not you. I know that. Braxton, I want to be someone, not thinking of joining you daily. Virgil, You’ll B Who

Always and Forever,
Your Dad