Chronicle 314 ~To B Little Bellies~

When I have to work, I sleep on my back. When I don’t, I’m on my belly. B hated being on his back too. Well, unless he was getting his belly rub. Then all the days at the Day Job so he could eat. Then he stopped. I face laughter… To B Little Bellies.

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Chronicle 314 ~To B Little Bellies~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I can afford top-of-the-line AirPods, people singing my praises. The silence that money brings.

I’ve had enough silence without B III. He was only silent on days like today. The beauty of Time Travel Inspector. 465 days ago, I could walk in and tell Triple B to shush it. I’d scoop him up and cuddle him as I lay out here and try to forget. What’s keeping me up? The fucking belly laughter, pardon my language. Um Tuesday, May 3, 2022, there’s been a lot of talk about bellies. Or, more to the point, there’s a song, “Reproduction, reproduction!”

But you know me, Inspector. While I could get all political, and you know damn well I’m going to get sexual, I’m a selfish bastard. Today, my time not theirs, I faced “Humiliations Galore” at the Day Job. Where else?

I’m not against laughter Inspector. Hell, B III would laugh whenever I rubbed his belly. Am I lying? Can dogs laugh? There was joy, I know. I love Braxton’s joy, but it was his peace in particular. Time and time again, I have written about how “The Comedian” I died. Yet I laugh when I remember the first time I ever saw Braxton give up on some food he wanted. When his Aunt Carolina made him a cake. He laid there staring at another bite. The ways I have suffered to put food in his tummy. Inspector… worth the humiliation. Inspector, today I’m not on my belly sleeping because I can’t stop hearing it. Laughter. Ironic how I was talking about my ears for weeks.

Now I’m trying to drown out what happens at the Day Job, Inspector. Always, forever? It doesn’t help that I’m on my belly like a slug, rubbing one out with Azur Lane – Enterprise Gets Fucked Hard. Yeah, I told you I would get back to the sex. I always do. I wonder if I will start from scratch with Six Impossible Things by the time you see this Inspector. I look at my body and wonder should I get back to my Stuff And Thangs. I didn’t buy lunch, today Inspector. Of course, I wasted enough money on what again? I believe Braxton isn’t going hungry and has found another hand to rub his belly. Inspector, B III could be waiting. To B Little Bellies.

465 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 313 ~B There, B Square~

What was I saying about “adult entertainment” at some point? Porn and sex are not the same things. And wanting to be a Dad doesn’t mean I’m into “breeding.” Yeah, it’s about time I get out of this bed, and what? Celebrate? B There, B Square

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Chronicle 313 ~B There, B Square~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can’t imagine being anywhere at the moment. One bed to another and then another.

Not the kind of thing you expect to hear from a husband. But you know I’m anything but typical, considering the businesses I’m running and the life I lead. Yet I choose to be here. Yes, it’s time to get out of bed. The old Day Job and my new career have something in common. Am I ashamed? One made me, as the song goes, “You make me wanna die.” Career-wise, the other is all about bedrooms, and I’m trying not to enjoy it every day. What does that mean for us? We’ll get to that, but yeah, you know why my love. It’s why I pay particular attention to a corner of the bed. Why an empty dog bed remains, a pillow, the loveseat…?

Sometimes I’m surprised you haven’t put me in the doghouse. For all my shortcomings as a husband… um, Will Smith put it like this. “If I’m being the best lover and friend. Am I being the best daddy I can? I pray I am.” Is it wrong to thank B III for all his lessons? Looking at our children now, my love. And how I read to them before bed. Wanting to sit with them, at the slightest sneeze or tummy ache. Oh, when they were babies… I’ll admit that cleaning up after Braxton was easier. Every parent talks about losing their Saturdays. Baby Girl, that started when I had to check out PetSmart every week looking for… There’s still that empty bed sitting there.

Will that be a moment of celebration or a day of betrayal? Grieving overtaking loving. Neither has a time limit. And both can be done from the comfort of this bed we share. I can stay here and cry all day, and when you’re here with me, well? You do have some things over Braxton. I could weep, read, feed, etc. But when it’s just the two of us, love? Breed? Yeah, that’s crude of me in a way. But my business is in adult entertainment. Inevitable. Only it’s a damn celebration when I can even get through the day anymore. I’m trying, and I want to say it’s time, like with books. Baby, “Just call my name, I’ll be there.” B There, B Square.

464 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 312 ~Stupid Is As Stupid Does~

I’m still crying over a dog I put in a box 463 days ago. I’ve read 17 books I don’t remember. I listen to stories I read years back. I can’t tell you who won WWE Backlash. And how do Walkers/Zombies help me? Oh, and uh “love” Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Monday, May 9, 2022

Chronicle 312 ~Stupid Is As Stupid Does~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m not… uh, Stupid. No, it has to be everyone else? Now about that word Madam…

Stupid? No! My son, my Braxton. The stupidest thing I’ve ever done is lose him. Is it stupid that I keep talking about him like this? 463 days and counting, Madam. My brain hasn’t been of much help these days or any day ending with Y. Why am I so stupid? Madam, you know how I hate this word. Stupid is the worst thing you can be in this existence. It was only yesterday I brought up B III’s speed. And I had to keep up with my boy. I keep saying he’s the best man I know, and why is that? In a minute, you’ll have me sounding like The EST of WWE, Bianca Belair. I can’t remember “Backlash” last night but my boy…

Stupid stories I keep reading, watching, and listening to? Ha, Not all of them, Madam. Well, it depends on your feelings towards a “Succubus.” Fate, Madam, or my dumb luck? Then, of course, there’s the genre that I’ve been “reading” the most. Every day something about a dog. There have been 20 books so far. And how much could I tell you about any one of them other than “The Dog Stars,” “A Dog’s Journey,” “It’s Just A Dog.” Hmm? The rest have been instructions on mourning or short tales. That doesn’t make me bright. I would have already finished my poetry collection “Gulp” If I were smart. But more to the point, my novel for my little one, “My Turn To B III.” Stupid…

Stupid when it came time to save Braxton. Or the things I do when I’m not sleeping. “You mean to say… as in sex?” That’s from the movie Serenity. Kaylee Frye, if I’m being specific, a.k.a. Jewel Staite. When it comes to sex, Madam, I’m a fucking genius. Not tooting my own horn or doing anything else with it. At least I’m trying not to. It’s inevitable, or so I think. THEY say that Pride leads to all other sins. Le Marquis de Sade said it’s Lust. If we go on Blade: Trinity, “sooner or later, the thirst always wins.” What does this all even mean? Sex or the lack thereof makes me plenty stupid. Like this list showing (sigh), Stupid Is As Stupid Does.

  1. Maiko Kaneda
  2. Imari Kurumi
  3. Yukiko Minase
  4. St. Louis
  5. Tifa Lockhart
  6. Aerith Gainsborough
  7. Scarlet
  8. Nico, Nicoletta Goldstein
  9. Hilda
  10. Juliet Starling
  11. Serah Farron
  12. Ashe, Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
  13. Lulu
  14. Linkle
  15. 2B
  16. Commander White
  17. Kainé
  18. Rikku
  19. Airi Akizuki
  20. Zone-tan
  21. Rei Ayanami
  22. Michiru Kaiou
  23. Kaori Saeki
  24. Ayana (Yellow Star)
  25. Sawa

463 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 308 ~From B To Ph.D.~

I didn’t put B in any dog training. How do I expect to put kids through medical school? Um, that would require babies and, before that, a woman. For the record, I’m pro-choice. But my firstborn, even without the pomp and circumstance. From B To Ph.D.

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Chronicle 308 ~From B To Ph.D.~

459 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering when I’m writing this, you know how my day is going. Lazy ass right!

You would suggest a walk. Now that’s funny. You would often make a decree, demand, dammit, daddy, what is wrong with you. Of course, you had your look for the third one. Do you want to know what I was doing besides another nap B III? Too much info B. Disgusting! That would be a no, my friend. But if I were outside with you? If I let you secure your territory on days like today. Hell, how would I know other than it’s hot? Braxton, I would have cut the air conditioner on by now. Can’t have you see me walking around like this. Then again, I keep asking, like the song goes, “Where’d you go.” I need to find a new book ASAP.

That would lead me to the couch, wouldn’t it? Well, the loveseat. Braxton, this may sound a bit creepy, but you need to say hi to your Aunt Carolina. The 4th was her Birthday. Star Wars Day B III. How did I celebrate either? Well, I did get your Aunt a few books B. As far as Star Wars, I tried, honestly. I drifted in and out of sleep; the fucking Day Job B. Besides you sitting on the foot of the bed at your post. I miss our couch time the most, B. There were the days Braxton when I was trying meditation; to stop this morning’s antics. I keep going back to books. Then there was me and your Aunt’s movie nights, right.

Then there’s me lying here sipping cranberry juice. Herbal tea, water, cappuccino, and chicken noodle soup. I don’t know if I’m trying to keep myself alive or join you, Braxton. 459 days, and you’re still sitting on the nightstand. A testament to my veterinary degree. Yeah, that’s right, I don’t have one. And even if I did… As always, I blame no one but me. You, on the other hand. Well, you were never one for formal education. Daddy’s laziness. No training for you, but you looked after me. Do you still? Even with you gone these past 459 days, I’m failing you. The Mental, Physical, and Emotional all of it, but when you needed me. With my STUPID Day Job. From B To Ph.D.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 307 ~Fandom A’s and B’s~

B understood his B words. There’s burger, bed, his aunt’s big ole… So we shared common interests, but for the past 458 days (snorts), add 15 years and 11 months, I was a fan, but I was getting kinda used to being someone he loved. Fandom A’s and B’s.

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Chronicle 307 ~Fandom A’s and B’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but instead of “fine” art, I’ll lose myself to Star Wars memorabilia. It’s Star Wars Day.

Hell, I should have taken the day off. Of course, seeing as how we’re talking on the 30th today, Inspector. That’s my great sin. I’m sure I’m not counting the Humiliations Galore I’ve been experiencing this week. In this day and age, to like Star Wars is the least of them. Okay, so first, let me say Happy Birthday, Carolina Bound. Triple B loves his Aunt Carolina, and I’m pretty fond of her (drools) as a friend. Don’t give me that look Inspector, but yeah, I saw her boobs. Braxton is a mega-fan of them. One of my favorite moments was trying to have “The Talk.” And as far as respect for women… what do I know, you ask me. But being a true fan…

If I was to name all that B III was a fan of… we covered boobs, fries, comfy spots, barking. I mean, it was his middle name, “Barks.” What am I forgetting? Inevitably his Daddy. Inspector, no one told me when I met B III he’d bark, “I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.” Ditto, my boy, fucking ditto. But what about the fandoms I joined since Braxton left? Inspector, you know what I want to say. Braxton didn’t up and leave. (Cries) Death!!! Fandoms Inspector like Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones, nope. But good battles. Did I tell you the story of when Braxton and I watched bullies getting “canceled,” and I accidentally hit B in the face? Didn’t die…

Yep, Dad hits like a bitch but okay, ha. What am I a fan of? What keeps you running now? The girls have seen that it’s adult entertainment for the past few days. Bikini season. Inspector, I’ll drop that pornographic tripe, which is longer than all the books I’ve read. I’ve been all about my mourning, and that ain’t changing anytime soon, I’m afraid, Echo. I can’t forget about B’s Aunt. As I said, Wednesday is her birthday. Today’s Saturday. Succubus Lord, of course, has been kicking my ass. How much have I spent, Inspector? Will I ever spend more on my little boy? I keep saying I will. Like when he lived? Braxton wasn’t a fandom. He’s faith. Will’s Fandom? Fandom A’s and B’s

458 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 306 ~To B Beautiful Again~

There’s always something new to see regarding “adult entertainment.” I’ve never been one saying I’ve seen everything. But if I had known that the first time I saw my son, well, that’s it? Now it’s hard seeing through tears. To B Beautiful Again.

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Chronicle 306 ~To B Beautiful Again~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I wonder whether that could give me 20/20 vision again. Like masks, I rather like glasses.

I like compliments too. But as the song goes, “Ooh, it makes me wonder” what you want about my body, brains, and bravery. I picture you like Sia/Superbia looking at “businessman” Jacob. Have I finished the Succubus Lord (audio) series by now? Baby Doll, I was so quick to get my ears checked. You’re asking yourself if there is something wrong with my eyes besides the glasses. Knowing me,… quite the shallow bastard. “Doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll still be beautiful.” Oh, from the 1996 film “Twister,” ha. You’ll always be beautiful. And I hate that I’m saying this, but it’s not you; it’s me.” All the tears I cry. The sweat on my brow.” Hell, when I get weak and instead of us…

Yeah, I don’t blame you for asking, “us?” Do I mean “You And Me” or Braxton and me? As I said before, all this water in my eyes. At least Monday last week, my eyes were shut when they were pounding into my head. I swear I’m listening for you as much as Braxton. Considering we’re having this conversation on Friday, April 29, 2022. The screen, the screen, Baby Girl. Or, again, seeing white walls in a doctor’s office. I am looking so hard. Okay, I need to stop with the jokes, but would you have me crying again? It’s as if I’m trying to peer into Heaven itself and find Triple B. Perhaps find my way into a straitjacket. But there’s so much beauty.

You have to understand that despite everything I thought I had seen and all that I felt in existence. At the time, Braxton blew it all out of the water and then some. Seeing, Loving. And to this day, I imagine I’ll go deal with the fucking Rebeccas. Braxton Reincarnated. I remember the first time I saw you and I turned all “Life Itself” That has to mean a lot. Being in the room when you had our “firstborn.” A fight for another time. Inevitable. The way I’m going to feel when some young “Thundercat” tries dating our little girl. There will be beautiful moments in life, I want to say. After enough tears, Babe, everything will be, once again, love. To B Beautiful Again

“I’m waiting for the right moment cause when I ask you out, there’s not gonna be any turning back for me. I’m not gonna date anybody else for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna love anybody else for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna really care about anything else for the rest of my life.” Will to Abby “Life Itself” (2018)

457 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 305 ~Favors, Blessings Without Fine Print~

If he were here, what would B ask for? If it were my life, like the song “take me as I am, take my life, I would give it all, I would sacrifice.” If not justice or to live again, he’d ask the favor for me to live? Favors, Blessings Without Fine Print

Monday, May 2, 2022

Chronicle 305 ~Favors, Blessings Without Fine Print~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I know everything has a price or, instead, everyone. Also, I can’t remember my last favor…

Holding the door open for someone? If I want to talk about favors, you know who I have to bring up. Say it with me (AHEM), “B III.” Only it wasn’t doing him favors. “It’s Only Love.” “Unconditionally.” Did I mention how good it is to hear again? I hope I continue to. Anyway, I’ve defined love before. Love is the willingness, want, need, desire, and ability to put one or something above oneself. And yet I’m ashamed it took Triple B dying… Well, here come the tears today, Friday, April 29. So yes, Madam, it’s Time Travel. How do I define a favor? Something being done with no request or repercussion. Of course, that’s off the top of my head. Holding a door requires nothing. Me wasting some time?

How I have wasted so much time today. It reminds me of something Chris Rock said about men being kind to women. All their doing is offering dick. Chivalry, Madam Justice… Today at least, meaning the 29th, only Cherry had to suffer. Wasting time, though:

  1. Maiko Kaneda
  2. Imari Kurumi
  3. Yukiko Minase
  4. St. Louis
  5. Tifa Lockhart
  6. Aerith Gainsborough
  7. Scarlet
  8. Nico, Nicoletta Goldstein
  9. Hilda
  10. Juliet Starling
  11. Serah Farron
  12. Ashe, Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
  13. Lulu
  14. Linkle
  15. 2B
  16. Commander White
  17. Kainé
  18. Rikku
  19. Airi Akizuki
  20. Zone-tan
  21. Rei Ayanami
  22. Michiru Kaiou
  23. Kaori Saeki
    024.

I’m sure this list has grown by now, much like myself… Yeah, a bad joke. I’ve done myself a favor and cut the phone off while we’re talking. I’ve never done that for another girl. This leads me to my point. There’s my Ma, my money, and my loins when it comes to women. I love my Ma; I work for women. And then with Others… AHEM “all I wanted was to see her naked.”

Has anyone done me a favor? Well, sure, but these past few days. I got a day off, but they were trying to save money. Breakfast? I had to go in. Holding doors sometimes… “Love Is an Open Door?” Fuck did I only now get that song? When I was still living with my Olds, I needed to close the door. There were no closed doors when it came to me and B III. Yeah, there were baby gates, but I never closed the door unless I was wrong? I always invited Braxton’s aunt in. M Anime has an invitation. Cherry’s dress was hanging on the door… Hell, I should do myself another favor. What do I want from myself? Favors, Blessings Without Fine Print.

456 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

I should have listened to B. It was on a Wednesday when he was crying. And I tuned him out because I was so angry and tired. I didn’t even have the excuse of being deaf in one ear, which I got fixed. I’m always listening now. Does he Want To B Heard?

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Chronicle 301 ~Want To B Heard~

452 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Usually, your tail would tell me so. Your cries of glee. Once before the end…

These memories B III have a way of sneaking up on me from time to time. As I’ve said often enough. There are always tears for you. Looking at the time 3:48 PM. Bawling! Ok, as I was trying to say, months before the end. Your granddad was here. And you were in your bed shaking, scared to death. The wrong choice of words, but when I came back here… Old as you were, you came running and leaped into my arms. Do you remember when we fought him B, side by side years ago? The same blood, same mud, or the wood floor B. “No retreat, baby, no surrender.” How about this, for he who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

Pain is how we understood each other, Braxton. My pain from this whole damn world. There was all the hurt that I tried to protect you from. Dammit, tried to save myself, and what did that get you? I think of it every day. And now, when I escape punishment? Peace be still… sorry I’m getting all preachy. You know I found serenity while reading. Braxton There was the peace in my ranting, raving on things not Day Job-related. Braxton, the most peace I had on the other side of war, hell in a lifetime of war. Those nights, we would sit on the loveseat with your Aunt Carolina Bound watching movies. The closest you got to having the family I promised all the time.

And now I return to that dream I had Monday night when I was back in the doctor’s office asking my Ma, are you waiting for me? Of course, she knows you’re gone. The Meaning? If I had to guess… I sat on the bench on your last day as they ran your final check-up. The vet handed you back as a storm raged outside. The vet said there was nothing that could be done for you now. At that moment, Braxton, your Daddy, disappeared. I became a monster. The books say you wouldn’t want to hurt me, but the pain is our communication. Inevitable. Are you trying to tell me something? I suffered, wanting to hear again. Speak to me! Want To B Heard

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 300 ~The B Is Silent~

What is a worse punishment? There is, of course, never hearing my son again. I was deaf in one ear for a few days. How dare I, right? Then there’s what they did, what I let them do on Monday. Ear Sex is not my kink Family Guy. Only “The B Is Silent.”

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Chronicle 300 ~The B Is Silent~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but would that be enough to protect my ears. Once and for all? Sanity… $44 Billion.

Elon Musk bought Twitter on Monday, not that I heard about it. The problems $44 Billion solve compared to the $175 that I spent at the doc’s office trying to fix my ear. Now I meant to tell Braxton’s Aunt Carolina first, but you know me. Time Travelling. Anyway, as the song goes, “So I bit that bullet, and I took that vow. And everything is different now.” A very convoluted way of saying that I went and did what I did. Oh yes, Inspector, there was “Humiliations Galore,” as is usual in this existence. A lot less than the Day Job no doubt. The waiting room, attempting to find the pharmacy, the exam room. You can imagine my pain was that great to endure.

So after days of, is it water, is it wax, should I try wanking off again? Carolina Bound will get a kick out of this. It was like that episode of Family Guy “Prick Up Your Ears,” 5×06. But compared to most of the anime I watch, Family Guy, um hmm, ok, “ear sex.” That’s what my ear felt like Monday afternoon. It’s fucked raw. Closest I’ll ever get to pegging. I never knew my ear was that deep, then getting “violated” with several devices. It was a Bukkake. You know I like dirty talk. “Stupid” is off-limits, Inspector. But my ear was getting rammed! The only thing worse was what was spraying all over. No bugs or anything, but my ear was filled (shudders)!

Sorry for all the sex talk. It’s been two days since the last time I was “saying “hi” to my monster.” Inspector, the things to hear again. Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone). But then I remembered 451 days ago. I swear the numbers, Inspector. The 300th Chronicle and Fahrenheit 451. But my point is the silence that there was 451 days ago when B III, my best friend, my son, was no more. I keep thinking about all my ailments this year. Being all fucked up sexually because I don’t have to hide. The dead silent earache. God is trying to tell you something, more like a dog. The only man I ever listened to but escaping punishment… The B Is Silent.

451 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 299 ~More Than Words B~

Remember those “Can You Hear Me Now” commercials? Triple B heard every single word. But even when I had my arms wrapped around him then. No matter how many books I have on Goodreads. Or chains I buy. The love I felt… More Than Words B.

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Chronicle 299 ~More Than Words B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t be one to turn a deaf ear to those around me, Baby Doll.

Well, considering I wasn’t able to hear out of my right ear for most of last week. Don’t I wish that’s all it was; something that could be fixed for $175.00? I’m a billionaire, so what am I complaining about? Again it was my body that was doing that. Doctors… Except for my eyes, I haven’t looked after my health for around 450 days. 449 considering this was yesterday afternoon. It always comes back to my firstborn. Hell, I haven’t had the stones to go back to Banfield Pet Hospital since B died. A step too many in that store. Only isn’t that sort of the point? I remember talking about the Bible for God so loved the world right. I loved my son enough…

Enough to let him go because nothing else could be done. Only I wasn’t listening to him before. Yet he showed me that he loved me as I scooped him up, love. “More Than Words,” right. Like my “Lost Boy,” I keep coming back to my earache. And like Triple B, all gone. I’ve been saying I need to show B how much I love him. Food, water, meds, bed? Whitesnake sang, “Is This Love?” Forgive me, Baby Girl, the music is returning. To Hear! Yet I always was telling Braxton to shush it. Only he would lie down in my lap. I still feel him pressed against my leg when I get out of the shower. He sat at the foot of the bed.

Now you know I’m a man for affection. Braxton taught me about that. Warmest pancake. When’s the last time I said, “I love you like pancakes.” The last time I remember my mom hugging me. Was it when I was in juvenile detention. Or during my brief stint in the military, hmm? As far as hearing, I am loved? You could say that until the cows come home. Well, fuck the cows until Braxton comes home. I had a dream of him last night? I was in the waiting room in the doctor’s office, and I asked my mom was B there waiting for me? Anyway, More Than Words between you and me, my love. “Hey Stupid, I Love You.” Divorce! More Than Words B.

450 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will