Tag: Friends

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

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I haven’t had time to talk to 2V about stuff. Well, cheering when 2V runs up the stairs. But there is one talk we won’t need to have. One because he’s not Braxton, aka my son. Meanie! And two talk about not having the balls… “Virgil’s, Birds and B’s”

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if I wasn’t, if Virgil Vivi needed something, um… health-wise. I like to think…

Well, actually, I don’t… like to think. One more reason I would become a Republican. Unfortunately, Lady Lunalesca, I have a brain. I know because my Mind Playing Tricks On Me. I know B III is still gone, and yet… I know. I continue to believe He Lives In You. Yes, it’s always the music. If anything, be grateful. I’m up around noon. That’s how bad this week was. Or was it I’m weak, period? Tell that to my Day Job and all the nightmares. This is one more reason I’m speaking to you so late. Yet again, I could be a lazy ass (sigh). But this brain never lets me forget. It was Times Like These that killed my son. I killed my son.

And now I see a pillow where his bed once was. But V said he wanted up in bed instead. Hell! At least he knows what it’s good for. Oh, do I need to spend more time jerking off? I have kept my word thus far, Lunalesca. No “releasing” during B III’s month, right? Lunalesca, there’s also the new toy I want to buy, but of course, the car, the community, and the coming days. Which should be spent on my son. I do mean Braxton and not Virgil, Lu. I’m being a meanie. Braxton has balls, and Virgil doesn’t. I keep comparing the two. Lunalesca, you know what I mean. I had to give Braxton the talk about the birds and the bees. Virgil…

You ask me why I’m so tired. I’m trying to train Virgil. Not like B III and I did that. Inevitably it was all about “B, can you not paw away at Carolina Bound’s cleavage?” There was, “Hey B, can you stop humping your toy in front of her, please?” Well, she’s seen worse. Remember that video I showed Carolina? Talk about trust in humanity. These days the last thing we need is more people. But I wish I could have a puppy from Braxton’s bloodline. I read about a family that got a fur baby from the same line as their lost one. And reading Cherry’s book and a review. What You Won’t Do for Love… No! But ta-tas. Hopeless. Virgil’s, Birds and B’s

713 Days Without B III, Day 154 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

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Sometimes in January… this will be the second one. Not on the 10th, but on the 31st. There are so many dates I rather not remember. I can’t tell you when I found love but when I lost it. Yet the days keep falling off Calendars, B Tripping Virgil

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t ever invest in Swanson; thanks, Tuckems. I’m more for Boston Market. Marie Callender’s?

My love, money didn’t change me. I mean, sure, as Forrest Gump said, “That’s good. One less thing.” I’ll be one for hoodies and jeans always and forever. Not that serious, but when I got new glasses, I wanted the same frame and, barring that, more Triple B’s color. When it comes to women, well, not to go all Alanis Morissette but AHEM “You, you, you oughta know. Hell! You know I love you, but when it comes to people, “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist,” as Andrew Davidson put it. Only with women, well… there was than Asian fetish I had. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, strawberry blondes, black hair. Look at the date; Wednesday is a year since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Um, feelings…

And speaking of fantasies, Victorian Maid Maria no Houshi. And Katainaka ni Totsui de Kita-Russia Musume to H Shimakuru Ohanashi. I wish I could remember when I got into Hentai and cosplay. One of many dates I can’t recall. But there are three events this month. I’ve told you about one which was a little fucked up. With you and a therapist. I can afford therapy now. Oh, I have no delusions of myself being mentally healthy. I’m sure you can agree. Anyway, the first, of course, was New Year’s Day. God help me; I’m trying to keep at least one resolution. How many have I made for you, our kids, and the businesses I run? I know; I made one; keep Virgil Vivi alive.

Only this morning, as with every day, my first thought was of Braxton Barks Bradford. Did I say that out loud? If I wanted to be in the dog house… Well, it’s January. Where else would I be than with my boy this second year? I didn’t even take a nap when I got back. Love, there is so much to do. I’m not holding out much hope. Because, again, you can see all the distractions. I don’t want to think about it. And yet buying books, bullion, and biscuits. Though I haven’t set another one in B III’s memory. And what about us, love? You’re not something only placed calendar-wise. But, as long as I’m breathin’, Braxton will be “31st.” Calendars B Tripping Virgil.

709 Days Without B III, Day 150 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

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I’m no knight in shining armor. My mettle hasn’t been tested in comparison to others. The house is covered in the fur of both the quick and the dead. Then there’s the hoody I wear every day. Because I always look chill… Virgin’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Braxton’s still alive. Don’t I wish? More for him than the money Lady Lunalesca.

I swear I would have gone full Repo Men on his ass. A suit of armor, new organs, and a cache of weapons to protect him. If you’re asking what’s this about, I watched “M3GAN.” Is it just me, or have the last couple of movies I’ve seen brought me to tears at some point? “M3GAN,” “Avatar: The Way of Water,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever?” “The Menu” only made me hungry. This brings me to my point. How does one buy food? Um, money Lu. STUPID question, I know. But short of my son, as the song goes, “Dollar dollar bill, y’all” has been on my mind. And what about Virgil and me? It’s getting pretty cold out. And if I thought summer was Hell…

At least Virgil’s fur coat will serve him well. But a friend says he needs a coat too. What about his own bed, bowl, and biscuit treats? Oh, he’s not eating any from B’s memorial. But it didn’t stop me from buying the same type Triple B would snack on. And this month is supposed to be about B III, shouldn’t it? How to honor his second year Lu. My power, protector, and pain. Hell! I haven’t asked for any time off yet, Lady Lunalesca. I remember the year before. I had a will of steel and an iron will when honoring my Little B. Now the only heavy metal I’m carrying… Where do you think I’ve been all morning? Lady Lunalesca, beginning like this?

A brand new year. And all I want to do is be as warm as V. All cozy in bed, not doing jack shit. But, um, jacking. You know what I want to say, but that’s for Inspector Echo, okay? Again there’s the money problem. Besides everything to continue Virgil’s and I’s existence… Braxton deserves something set in stone. A statue, ink across my flesh. And there’s been those SILVERCUT necklaces I’ve been eyeing forever. Well, two years for B. And finally, there’s my courage. I’ve failed my son and New Year’s Resolutions, oh no. That’s my existence. One big, OH NO. And to drag another fur baby into this mess after what happened to the last one. My idiocy’s spreading. Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

706 Days Without B III, Day 147 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

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I heard in a movie that love can’t tell time. Yes and no. I can’t remember when B III jumped in the car… and he hates car rides. The moment he left… Jan 31, 2021, at about 3:45 PM. When I told the right girl, I love her? Beats me. “Love To B Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And have a much more interesting story than I inherited my wealth. I Work Hard 120!

As seems to be the theme of this year… well, the first week of January, like everyone else, my love. I’m trying to get motivated. I didn’t say positive, I’m afraid, but to get going. Only I know you still need me to be here. Does it help that I’m buying more stuff for us? As the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” No amount to save Braxton. And then there’s Virgil. I know my story. I know how I feel. Yeah, I mentioned I’m buying more books and TV. Hell! Today, I bought another book about mourning fur babies. And now I want to watch a show about a man who pretty much adopts a daughter after losing one. The Last of Us

Braxton was/is a gift to me. And I take the fact that his story was seen all over the world… Well, I’ve always said he’s the one that made me the man I am today. The good and the bad, but you love me, so who am I to complain? No. For 702 Days, I have been one to mourn. And like with all of the books I’ve been reading, well, minus all those in December. I don’t want to know anything else. I’m too focused on B III’s death to worry about 2V’s life. Incredible life story before I met him, I’m sure. Did he love someone? Lose someone. How about letting it go? As I said, 702 days without B. Virgil’s had 143.

To make you feel my love. What about our children? What about Virgil? Even now, I’m not sure about him. But for you and ours… I’d do everything Bob Dylan wrote about and Adele sang about. I like the cover version, but that’s not the point. Looking at Virgil now… A whole new year and the same ole song and dance. Virgil’s not Braxton’s reincarnation. If anything, he’s more like me. Virgil’s so confused, quiet, and figuring out his universe. But that doesn’t mean he can’t find his way to bed at night. We’re all around him, but what does that mean? I’d ask how long will it take him to accept love. What do I have to give? More time? Love To B Virgil

702 Days Without B III, Day 143 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

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Last day of the year, and I am six inches more or less (snickers) from falling back asleep. And there is so much to do today. 1st of Tha Month and year tomorrow. Get busy living or dying… Hell! I merely exist, and what about 2V? A Busy B Virgil.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be sitting on my ass exploiting somebody, Lunalesca. Well, on my ass…

But I am far from taking advantage of anyone. I’m too busy for even that today. Well, that would be a first. And that’s what’s keeping me busy. Preparing for the “1st of The Month.” Well, the first of the year. Besides bursting into tears, Lunalesca, what am I thinking? Today it’s more like what I’m trying not to imagine, and no, not “pornographic passions.” Hell! I had to put the phone down because if I saw one more person who had a great year. If anything, I wasted another year of existence. And I never asked for this Lunalesca. Today though, there are decisions to make, like what will be the first book, the first bop, and the first bill of a new year.

This will be the second year without B III. And bring on the waterworks Lunalesca. Existing in this place; existing in his place. And speaking of which, where’s Virgil now? Back on his pillow. And I wonder how he will do with all the noise that they’ll be tonight. That’s another thing. While Braxton was/is my best friend, and Virgil Vivi… well, as I say at the Day Job, usually, “I’m Here.” Like the song plays, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Virgil, like B, has no stepmom. Did I mention no porno, though there is a dryer here? Ha-ha! And for Virgil to protect his siblings. Well, I’d have to acknowledge him first, Lu. A mistake to give a heart to anyone or anything.

But do I regret doing that for B? I regretted everything in 2021, for sure. And what about this year, 2022? Fuck! On Friday, I bought a pack of all-lime Skittles. New glasses, hmm. Well, the business of a new year because I may have resolutions Sunday. No promises. Now I can’t tell you what the first book will be, though I’m leaning toward more novels on mourning fur babies. At least for the first one, Lady Lunalesca. Remembering Braxton? What will be the first song? I need to think long and hard about that one. To be sure. The first porn? When I wasn’t talking to you, it was all “Street Blowjobs.” Last day of this year. I’m not happy. A Busy B Virgil

699 Days Without B III, Day 140 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 179 ~ Virgil’s Holidays To B~

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You wake up, and your cat… dog in my case. Your son, a future, isn’t there anymore. I tell myself that tomorrow will be “better.” People look forward to this time of year. For me, Jan 31, Feb 13, Aug 13, Sept 7, Oct 20, etc. “Virgil’s Holidays To B.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Saga 179 ~Virgil’s Holidays To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s always tomorrow. Yeah, I can take off in my rocket ship. Get perspective…

I’ve been thinking a lot about “The Great De-evolution” series. In particular, “The Last Astronaut” and “A Different Alchemy.” One man running away from the death of his fur-baby. And the other, from the death of his child. Pray tell, how do I relate, (snickers). Besides this one fact. Writing my own books kept me away from Braxton Barks Bradford. Because there was always tomorrow. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s benefit. But as the song goes, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Or fifteen years, love. I thought Braxton would give me twenty. But that’s thinking too small. Here’s forever. Isn’t that what we are, my love? We got our kids though I still need to figure out Virgil. Being mean?

What! I bought him a gift, and honest to “God” I’ve been trying. But there is always tomorrow. For now, I need some sleep. I know it’s getting worse. One man went to space while the other headed north. And another thing about those men. They left their families. They didn’t see a future in the world. Is that what I’m saying? Why bother trying? That one day, B III will be gone for good. Hell! If I could be so lucky as to drop dead, then. I’m sure our children will think that of me in their teenage years. I want to be here for that. So am I seeing more time with them, with you? Memories with Braxton. Oh, and Virgil Vivi too.

Again yesterday, I was looking at books for “The Closing of the Year.” Not as many as last year, but there is always tomorrow. But what if there’s not? How long do I expect you, my Mrs. Claus, to keep waiting? Santa spends his whole year preparing. One big day. What about ours, my love? They have been different since Braxton, I know. Forgetful? Now you know that ain’t true. Part of me stays glued to that spot on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then a part of me wants to be like those other fathers running away, love. Billionaires can buy rocket ships and tanks, so why not go all “The Tomorrow War?” Buy us a time machine? Yours and Virgil’s holidays… I’m so sorry. Virgil’s Holidays To B

695 Days Without B III, Day 136 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

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If I didn’t know better, I’d be all, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Um, the only Christmas colors I’ve seen have been on “book” covers. And the toys I got the boys Friday, no holiday tags. But V sees a day I’m still here, and B… “To B Leave Virgil…”

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That… is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.” Especially tonight, right?

I wonder how Virgil feels about that. Day 133 for him here. Most having been spent waking up in the dead center of the bed. Terrible choice of words considering for the past 692 days, Braxton has been beside me in a box. Where is “my” positivity, Lady Lunalesca? The only boxes there should be are the ones under the tree. That is if I had bought a tree. The car sounds that way, creaking like I’m carrying goodies galore. Or car sex, whatever, ha-ha. Lady Lu, I should be grateful I kept my word Friday. There are gifts for the boys and breakfast. Well, minus hash browns. But pancakes, sausage, and bacon. And didn’t I say I’m not going out again… on Christmas Eve.

If Virgil knew the “man,” I was on December 2020. I could go back and look… Ok, so that was a mistake eww. But what has changed, Lu? I looked up Angie Griffin, “Cindy Who.” This evening I’ll continue reading “XL Candy Cane.” I was getting to the good part where the “princess” was about to suck on the candy cane.” Lunalesca it’s inevitable. Today ain’t the time. But again, Gospel 176 ~ Will’s Christmas List IV.~ Didn’t mention B. Anyway, as I was saying, I’ll read and then I have to find something other than breakfast food. Braxton and I would watch the Official NORAD Tracks Santa. Memories Lunalesca. Hell! Tonight is the second night of the year. I wake up at 7AM. snickers

I haven’t been time traveling as usual because I don’t have to face Humiliations Galore. But after Christmas? Only Virgil believes that every day as the song goes, “Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday.” That’s one thing he shares with Braxton. Faith misplaced Lunalesca. Much like my Braxton’s. And as for my own, at the moment, there is none. Santa, Satan, Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. “Give me something to believe in.” Is that you, Lu, and this? Chronicle 174 ~B Come Home For.” How I want to believe Lunalesca, as Virgil does. That may be his first gift to me, his first lesson. Yet, he’s still young. Two years but with me… They’ll be no Merry Christmas. But, To B Leave Virgil…

692 Days Without B III, Day 133 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

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I only remember my Ma putting up the Christmas tree. And as far as presents, well, good and bad memories. But the love? That shouldn’t be a one-day thing, but Virgil’s been here for 129 days. As the song goes, “do you love me?” “B Present For Virgil”

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But even with more money than Jesus… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus” ha-ha. Um…

With all this money, that’s not what Christmas is about, is it? Am I really going to talk about Christmas? One day out of the year, when I seek joy, peace, and love daily. Hell! When did I know I loved my son? Our two-legged children, but let me talk about my firstborn, Braxton Barks Bradford. This is my second Christmas without him here. Love, if there is any consolation, Christmas is only one more day. Now don’t talk to me on January 31, but Christmas? B’s an afterthought at best. And then ask me about Virgil Vivi. Have I even thought about getting him a gift for the holidays? The money spent on 2V? He wants a present? Today he did have my concern.

Always. It’s what I give all my friends. My attention doesn’t amount to anything. Only I want to do better. Still, I am my “father’s” son. Money, Money, Money. And as the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” What else do I have, though? It’s been my problem. I care for so much, my love. I guess that’s a good sign, right? It ain’t Christmas, but I care. Yet I have my friends that I haven’t asked about in forever. Or my ass has an ulterior motive even though my heart is in the right place… Oh, it’s outside B III’s pine box? That was mean, but again, my problem. I’m present in that room watching Braxton die. Santa Claus ain’t bringing him back.

But that’s who I am now, on top of being a husband, daddy, writer, business owner, and everything. And I must be under that tree, light those candles, or whatever else. The holidays, bah humbug. I don’t want the kids to hear me say that. And all the things I should utter… Because money ain’t cutting it. I can tell you and the children I love you every day, and I mean it. Why doesn’t it seem to be enough, though? A lesson learned from my Braxton. Several, in fact. He didn’t need words; it was the action always. It’s Only Love. So I ran outside looking for Virgil, and there was fear until I found him running to me. One day, for you, family, business; B Present For Virgil.

688 Days Without B III, Day 129 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 169 ~Powers That B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t think I’d go all “Colors of The Wind.” But I did go to see Avatar: The Way of Water. There’s Ice-T’s “Colors.” Today, I’m blue, trying not to look at Tifa’s red eyes or V’s white fur. To lose myself in the “blackness.” “Powers That B, Virgil.”

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Saga 169 ~Powers That B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means, as the song goes, “I’ve got the power (power, power).” But not this morning.

If anything, I’m an emotional motherfucker. A little bitch. My apologies for the language Lu. It’s either this or just screaming into a pillow. Well, there is more. Last night, I thought I would easily trade Mental Anguish for Physical Harm. Self-harming doesn’t suit me…

I’m blue. And not in a “Da ba dee da ba di” way, Lady Lunalesca. Is it about my boy, my son Braxton? I can’t deny that. I had a dream my right ear was blue and rotting away. I have no more money for docs this year. Though last night I did see Avatar: The Way of Water. No, I’m not seeing red. Not about that anyway. Anytime I see red… There are reasons red and black are standards.

My battle standard, to be specific. Yesterday I told Lady Sophia that words have power. But colors Lady Lunalesca. Wasn’t Braxton, well, all fur-babies colorblind?

I’m not going to go all teacher’s pet and brown nose, falling down the Internet rabbit hole today. If I want brown, tan… beige, I would instead think of my son. Virgil ain’t Braxton. That’s becoming as common a term as I killed B III and 2V in his white fluff, is what? A ghost haunting me? V’s snow… how cold we are. I’m a snowman. I mean feelings, Lu. Only I rather die than talk to my “father.” I got a text last night from him, and went yellow. Lunalesca, I’ll turn the colors into a series. Red, Black

Lu, allow me to try and keep my “word” and give you a few reasons I pick these two shades.

When I said red, it wasn’t my RAGE that popped up. No, it was worse… it was LUST—Tifa Lockhart’s red eyes. There’s also Cherry’s red lips that match her name. Bloody Hell. There’s the chain I wear of me and B III. Me in my red hoody. Despite it all, there’s RAGE. And so I live in the black, in the darkness, hoping no one can see. B died in the light. Lunalesca, my sexual exploits I keep in the blackness as do most… Internet diving. Lunalesca, I did not know I’d go so far today. Words and now Colors, Powers That B, Virgil.

685 Days Without B III, Day 126 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

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Do you believe in life after love? I’m still here. Oh, won’t you stay with me? More songs I can rip off? Believe it. As I believe my son is out there. I don’t believe in God. I believe in B. As far as women? Like B and his “aunt’s boob.” B Leave It V

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I once believed that $300 would solve all my problems. Took more burying my son.

Well, you know what I mean. I’m always thinking about B III, even with time travel. Tuesday marks 681 days, my love. And “I Still Believe,” I took out a hit on my own kid, B III. I had him cremated and put into a box I have only ever opened once. It rests on the nightstand. At least, that’s one thing that has remained constant with me. My love for him. And you? I don’t know how you stand me; I’m getting to be like Braxton’s bed. I had to wash my hoody and, of course, the sheets. If it helps, I can’t remember when I threw out the last can of his food. I’m sure I talked about it. But his bed, bowl, his last bag of Cesar…

“V, leave it!” It’s one of the few times I can remember his name. Virgil Vivi Bradford aka 2V aka V. I’m not ready to leave Braxton Barks Bradford. My firstborn; let him go. But is it worse that I’m not ready to love again? I mean, not with our kids. I poured the Bisquick, so you and I have had plenty of pancakes. I love B like pancakes, but then there’s Virgil once again. I’m starting to count the days without my saying, feeling, and living with love. “Another Day,” I keep telling myself, “Give into love or live in fear,” right? Only I fear that the man you long for will never return. Braxton lived his last second loving me. His last look?

And while there will always be a part of me that says you’ll one day get sick of me, love. Yeah, like that part that said B III would live forever. That Virgil’s his reincarnation. Somehow I believe I’m worse… Didn’t think I could be after Braxton. But here I am, hurting you. Only it’s not with some needle. As it began with Braxton… Indifference. Perhaps that’s what Braxton is telling me these days. But I feel plenty, my love. I keep saying, “I love you.” Do I show it? As safe as Braxton’s bed. My dog tag, pendant. Everything I’ve read this year about fur babies says leaving the pain doesn’t mean losing the love. But I Want It All! B Leave It V

681 Days Without B III, Day 122 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will