Tag: Live Brave

Tale 305 ~Just B Happy, Virgil~

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“I believe that God, whomever you hold that to be, hears all prayers, even if sometimes the answer is no.” Being happy? Being in love? Being with my son? If I were still a man of prayer, I’d ask “God” for V’s happiness. Or Brave. Just B Happy, Virgil

Wednesday, May 1, 2024

Tale 305 ~Just B Happy, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. I can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror today or Tuesday, April 30, 2024, Inspector.

But the mess that Virgil made because it was raining this morning… That’s not upsetting. No, Inspector! I’m mad at Virgil because I’d leave without question if he weren’t here. Only I know that in and of itself produces a lot of questions. But as I stood at the Day Job today, unwrapping shower curtains, I thought, “Curtains foiled again.” I don’t mean to be funny. If anything, I yearn to be with Braxton. A week like this took him away from me. And the void he left is unbearable.

Inspector, I’m not just angry—I’m in a seething rage. It’s because people don’t listen or understand. That’s why we’re having this conversation. From Now On, the answer is NO! But to open my mouth. A third reason I’m miffed. For Man, am I not?

Oh, I’m burning today. Because I can’t cut on the air conditioning, but in all honesty, I would rather burn than freeze. I’ll get enough of that when I get to the ninth circle. Hmm.

Treachery, the betrayal of my son. And aren’t I betraying Virgil, too? Happy Life, Inspector?

What about a healthy one? How long did the tax refund last before being wiped out? And if it isn’t Virgil’s medical needs. What about everything else? Such selfishness unabated.

But I’ll do what’s right when it comes to Virgil while breaking a plethora of laws when it comes to everything else. And the fact I’m not moaning on some mattress right this second is a miracle. Yeah, day one without me… uh, never mind.

Because my biggest sin other than living in FEAR and my ANGER is this Inspector…

Why can’t you just be HAPPY, Virgil? My version of “Why can’t you just be normal?” B and I… were just us, and that was enough. But Virgil Vivi has been here for 627 days.

And when I walk in and see the mess he made in his bed. I can’t help but wonder which one of us has it worse. The vet took care of his “daddy issues.” Ha! As for me, I’m afraid.

That’s why I miss Braxton. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” My boy, Braxton, lived. Thirty-nine years and counting, I’ve existed. Happiness, for me, does not exist. But to LIVE BRAVE! Just B Happy, Virgil

1186 Days Without B III, Day 627 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 121 ~V Life Can B~

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What do they tell the soul when they try to sell life? Much like the Day Job, the doc’s office, and Onlyfans, I’ve wasted time and money trying to preserve it. My own existence… Then I tell V to get in the car. B made his choice because V Life Can B

Sunday, October 30, 2022

Saga 121 ~V Life Can B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you? Well, for you, what can I say? Life can be hard or will be, whatever.

And I thought my week was. Hell! I didn’t do anything to prepare you for this one. Well, sure, a note on the time clock. Um, there was that chicken Saturday. More harm than good. I am curious to know how Braxton did it for almost 16 years. When did I want to end it all again? And you? Waking up in tears seems to be your new normal. Only day one of a horrible week. Yet when Virgil Vivi sounded like he was about to go into a hacking fit, I had the nerve to say, “Be Brave.” You remember that show “Eli Stone” and how they said “Live Brave.” Now that sounds like solid advice. But you exist; I failed. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet” Moira Allen
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Because life is hard. You see, the week I had Dammit! When you look in the mirror and see your messed up teeth… It’s with all that grinding I did. Trying to smile. It’s Inevitable. For all the people around you. Assholes! And yet you’re the one that’s going to get fucked all this week. I’m not being very helpful, am I? So now you know how Virgil Vivi feels. Fuck! At least he has an excuse. He has no balls, but you? If it wasn’t my filthy ears. Or the meds that did nothing. You got one thing from me: one big case of blue balls. Ha-ha. I can’t blame you for looking at porn. What else is there for you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Girl in 6E {A Deanna Madden Novel) A. R. Torre
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No wonder you’re chosen to reread a book. To think there was a time you thought OnlyFans, your Stuff and Thang would save you… You’ll be giving the same speech. Remaining the selfish bastard you are. What about poor Virgil Vivi? With your Day Job. Do I tell you to be grateful that you still have it, considering the schedule? And what about NaNoWriMo? You have to finish talking to Lady Sophia. And then there’s Lu, the Wife, Echo, B III, and Lady Sophia again. And don’t forget, there’s no food in the house now. All of this while feeling you’re going to explode. Madness, Masturbation, Manuscripts. I don’t know what to tell you. Life can be endured, survived, or left. V Life Can B

637 Days Without B III, Day 078 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 076 ~How Are You Lost~

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I wonder which is bigger, the world or my own head, if anything at least the world comes with maps and there are plenty of places to run but why the hell am I running anyway. How Are You Lost, the heart knows its direction, breath too, and Will?

Friday, September 15, 2017

Lesson 076 ~How Are You Lost~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, and no sense of direction though everything else knows exactly the way to go, perhaps I should rethink this whole no fear scenario if anything it’s good exercise. You know that when I was back in school, I liked to run, learned to run actually but there was a freedom in it, and somewhere along the way I discovered a fine line between running to something and running away from something and I crossed it.

“We’re not built to kill. We don’t have claws fangs or armor. Vets, they came back with PTSD, that didn’t happen because we’re comfortable with killing. We’re not. We can’t be. We feel. We’re connected. You know, I’ve interviewed over 825 people who’ve done terrible things. I’ve only met one evil person. Some of them were born with bad brains. Some of them got sick along the way. The rest were just damaged people. Traumatized themselves like you, but they could heal. Some more, some less, but they can. We all can. I know it. It’s all a circle and everything gets a return.” Eastman – Here’s Not Here, TWD

To think fifteen days ago I figured I knew exactly where I was going and now well… I’m slogging through, I honestly should be doing better than this but at least I’m moving forward and what else is a guy should be doing? At work today I felt that old fear creep up inside of me, you know the one I’ve been running from, some things you just can’t outrun, you just have to take it step by step. On the other hand, I talk about being dominant and a dominant doesn’t move for anybody, no he stands, a submissive must move according to his will and that is power.

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.” Sharon, Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Now I don’t fancy myself a philosopher Lady Lu but there I was just standing there at work and you know what I realized, the heart moves forward, you breathe in but you must breathe out, we are not born with eyes in the backs of our heads, and other parts of the anatomy point the way forward. So today’s lesson, how am I lost, I’m thinking about going one way because it’s faster, another way because I want to face my fears but you know what the correct answer is, I should go wherever I please. It’s okay to be lost but it’s not okay to let fear or some proof of courage direct your feet ever, live brave.

“I don’t think that a person should run unless he’s being chased.

Being chased. I like that.” The Faculty (1998)

Not even a submissive does that, a Sub may fear to disappoint her Dom but she moves because she chooses to of her own accord. Have you noticed that I’m getting braver with these references or maybe it’s because I know that nobody is coming by to check, not yet?
What have I learned today, maybe I’m not so much lost as I am adjusting my path, even if that just means choosing a direction and of course forward is good, How Are You Lost?

“The pessimist looks down and loses his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” King Ezekiel, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear

Rut On Earth

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Every day is exactly the same as the song goes but that isn’t always a bad thing, especially when you’re living with anxiety, you know just how much energy you’re going to need, you can put one foot in front of the other “Rut On Earth”

The sun can only dig so far
while the other stars play big wigs
Having so many promises to renege
upon they say what they are,
job creators, they are those kings, czars
giving me this full-time gig
asking me why I never studied trig.
How bizarre

that it doesn’t hurt
I suppose Atlas is used to the abuse
Walking, running, these combat boots
Don’t run in the grass, or play in the dirt
and if you see a pretty girl in a skirt
pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes
though the point is probably moot
Nowadays it’s a concert,

left, right, repeat, but what
if there was a way not to be a slave
to the rhythm to live brave,
nut up or shut up
Only the ground has become a slut
for punishment and how depraved
is it for me to dig my own grave
one day and a time, a rut?

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.