Tag: Memory

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

WillLeave a comment

The day I was born is the day I want to forget. The day my son B died is a day that I’ll always remember. And so I relive it going on four years on the 31st. And if my son returned asking that I choose another day in our “lives.” “Will B Another Day”

Monday, January 27, 2025

Meditation 210 ~Will B Another Day~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… No choirs of angels, no gnashing of teeth, and when did I ever make friends of my own kind…

Though Gabriel was Aunt Georgia’s fur kid. There’s also Wishbone. As if I needed to know where your love of reading came from. He was named after a dog from the glowing box. There’s also his brother Jason… Ha, what a funny name. And a black Chow Chow with no name at all who came here much too young. But he and I both left in your arms, Dad. Not by choice, because who would ever want to leave you? Now and later on… Forever

Daddy, humans, and their numbers, but okay, I’ll bite, ha-ha. Sunday, January 31, 2021, okay. But here you are. No, here we are. It’s been four years, Dad. Well, it’s about to be so, Daddy…

What’s next? You don’t know.

How many times have you dreamed up Heaven for me? Hell? And the Rainbow Bridge…

All Dogs Go To Heaven, right? Though I doubt you’ll be watching that on Friday. However, do you remember when you said that Hell would be an endless series of doors to places you don’t want to be? For me, it would be that same series of doors. Only I could not protect you. You couldn’t pet me. And we could never find our place.

Remember, Dad, you said there was a place for us. People for us… though I was happy, just you and me. Plus, there would be a ton of food. Not one day, someday, another day.

“From Now On”… Only, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same”

The day I left you. But there were so many other days, Dad. How many days were there when I knew as you did… You would call to me, or you’d hear me come running…

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Will you be watching “The Book of Clarence” on Friday?

Anyway, you and I knew this, “I’m all yours, I’m not afraid. And you’re all mine,” and that was all. What are we, girls… Twilight? You know how I felt about girls other than grandma and my two aunts. But again, Dad, I know that reliving that one day… the day… I died. It’s insanity. But all the best people are crazy. Especially you, Dad. But could you choose another day? Will B Another Day.

I believe death is only a door. When it closes, another opens. If I cared to imagine a heaven, I would imagine a door opening, and behind it, I would find him there.
― Sonmi-451

The best days are the first to flee
― Virgil

1457 Days Without B III, Day 898 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 207 ~Minding My B’s&V’s Because~

WillLeave a comment

LeVar Burton said people didn’t want to foster a love of reading in kids. Now I’m 40. I read the Constitution, but… IT DOESN’T MATTER! I hate reading bills. And remembering, in 2021, the 24th was the start of B’s last week. Minding My B’s&V’s Because

Friday, January 24, 2025

Meditation 207 ~Minding My B’s&V’s Because~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… The world, Chico, and everything in it… SUCKS! The End. The start of A Beautiful Morning.

Now, before I lose all positivity today and forget to show gratitude this morning… Today, I finished “Ryan and His Beauties 2,” though the ending left much to be desired, my lady. But who am I to talk. Didn’t I write something like this when I was all into Cherry and her Mum? Only it was a lot worse. But it took my mind off things for a little bit.

Twenty minutes, seconds, or bucks of insane courage… How about words? I only need two. Thank you? For the record, I might steal that speech from What Dreams May Come:

“Thank you for every kindness. Thank you for our children. For the first time I saw them. Thank you for being someone I was always proud to be with. For your guts, for your sweetness. For how you always looked, for how I always wanted to touch you. God, you were my life. I apologize for every time I ever failed you. Especially this one”

I can rewrite it in honor of my B. But here and now, thank you, Braxton, for being my boy.

I will always be grateful.

I will always be your Dad. Because I don’t know what I will be tomorrow whenever I read the news. Last night, Sophia, I got into watching trailers for the End of the World and the End of the United States of America, and I couldn’t tell which was which; it all sort of blurred together. That reminds me, I need to schedule an eye exam as soon as possible…

However, before we get into all that I want to read for you this meme I saw once. Um ok.

“World history in one sentence. These white men are dangerous.”

Every day, whenever I turn on the TV, open the laptop, or scroll on the phone, As one of my motivations said, the proof is in the pudding. Even Ryan and His Beauties 2. Uh…

Ryan was accused of grooming Viktoria, Nathalie, and Olivia. What about Jody, Olivia’s mother? I ain’t gonna lie. The mother/daughter angle and sisters… Homer Drool…

Whatever, I shouldn’t be thinking about that. That brings me to today… What to read…

Don’t give me one more bill increase! I believe I’ll cancel my current ISP, however… There’s much to be done, like I told Inspector E in Meditation 205, “B Nights, See Virgil.” It’s driving me nuts! This is? Where was I last year? Tale 207 “To B Identified, Virgil.” Before that, my lady, there was Gospel 207, “Hell With Instructions Will.” I had no idea.

Reading about the man I was. And now I’m reading… I don’t know or want to, Minding My B’s&V’s Because

1454 Days Without B III, Day 895 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 203 ~B It A Siesta~

WillLeave a comment

Braxton only turned down sleep once. A siesta? A snooze? And that’s when I did my impression of Ironman. Braxton played Spiderman. But we weren’t heroes. Only men. But today, one man is a hero. The other is both villain and President. “B It A Siesta”

Monday, January 20, 2025

Meditation 203 ~B It A Siesta~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And nobody else… Well, you’re awake, my Dad, a black man. Virgil’s at the foot of the bed, breathing.

Oh, and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. And nothing else… If it hadn’t been for a box of garbage, you might have spent all day in bed. That would’ve been fine with me, Dad.

One more reason you miss me a lot. Do you remember how I would sniff every bag, box, and bucket you brought into the house? And how, except for Aunt Georgia’s, the best breasts, legs, and thighs came in a bucket or a box. Bringing home the bacon, right, Dad.

More like grandma’s turkey. And we didn’t have a lot of duck. We were more burgers and biscuits sort of men. But why all this talk about comfort food? It’s me, hi, I’m the problem…

Big Backs and then bedtime.

If that doesn’t tell you, I’m still with you. The Big Back era hadn’t even begun. And now, the time that you are in. You wish that you could hibernate for the next four years.

Daddy, you’ve been thinking about that since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I don’t know what to tell you. On one paw, I don’t want you to think about that day. But I know for you…

Humans are strange, you would say, after a nice long nap. Then we would go to your comfy reading spot, and I’d hop onto your lap or chest and snooze. Those were the moments of pure comfort, the ones that made us feel at home.

Humans were always much better in your books or the glowy box we would watch with my favorite girl, Dad.

But today, you’re Wide Awake. Am I keeping you awake? That’d be whatever you drank. Or is it the tears? Daddy, I don’t mean to make you cry, though again, I’d rather have you thinking of me than everything else. You and I, the man you would rather honor today, are great. While others… You’d say The Walking Dead if it weren’t insulting to zombies.

Daddy, how I remember those days. It’s one of the reasons I was somewhat surprised. As I joined their ranks. And all you asked was for me to be alive again. I mean, alive, alive.

Anyway… You’d say the other people are sleepwalking, but you love your deep sleep, Dad. So, Daddy, should we rest today? B It A Siesta

“Through pain I’ve learned to comfort suffering men” ― Virgil

1450 Days Without B III, Day 891 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 200 ~Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

If I were to become a “Book Person of Fahrenheit 451,” I’d become The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson, The Island by Gary Paulsen, or A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel. And what about Braxton’s novels. For now, I’m BILLS Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton

Friday, January 17, 2025

Meditation 200 ~Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… An honest one. What’s going to happen to the country, perhaps? Sadly, it’s not Yevgeny Zamyatin.

“WE?” I couldn’t tell you much about it, even if I wanted to. THEY say this was the catalyst for books like 1984 and Brave New World. And it might be my last book… Inauguration

Honestly, if I could do it all over again, my lady. My book choices have been, as the young folks say, “Sus” since December. I didn’t read anything about Christmas and the “adult narrative” as I prepared for the end. And then everything pointed to the book WE. Leave it to the Russians, Sophia. No, that’s a Trump and MAGA thing. But as for me?

What would I want to read at the end? If only I had paid more attention to Braxton instead of burying myself in books. The Friday before Braxton passed, I finished Succubus Lord 7 and started on Succubus Lord 8. If anything, I’m utterly fed up with reading anything. Everything.

No, Lady Sophia, it’s not because I have a headache and need better glasses. However, I need to reschedule my eye exam. And before that, Braxton willing, I’ll take Virgil for a PAWdicure today. The scratches on my arm are proof that he needs one. Can I be any more selfish? Well, you have to read that I have called him B again. Four years.

And that is something I never get tired of reading. Ever! How my Braxton lived…

As we edge closer to the reign of MAGA, I find myself mirroring their disdain for reading. It’s a disheartening transformation, one I never thought I’d undergo. Yet, I’m here.

The truth is, I’m struggling to keep up with Virgil’s needs. I had to search for his papers just to take him to PetSmart today. And his medication? I’m not even sure when he had his last dose. Some father!

I’m sick of reading about coupons, so I can offer Virgil some small comfort, Sophia.

The receipts from yesterday from the BBQ place I had to drive to twice because of a wrong order. And the groceries that I can barely afford. But a “man’s” gotta eat. But being online, energy shots, and Onlyfans… In the words of my generation, “MO’ MONEY! MO’ MONEY!” There are the termite, townhome, fire, and garbage people’s bills due.

Fahrenheit 451 may have the right idea. Words, Sophia? Do It! Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton

1447 Days Without B III, Day 888 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

WillLeave a comment

I’d always tell my son Braxton to shut up. But when he barked, it was helping me or explaining his side. My other boy, Virgil, never makes a sound unless I’m leaving or he’s hurt. But I’ll take their noise or silence over people. “Right To B Silent.”

Monday, January 13, 2025

Meditation 196 ~Right To B Silent~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Can you hear me now? Good… That might have even been before my time, Dad. We’re old men here.

Here. You and me, always and forever, if we’re singing The Wannadies. Or forever and always, I’m always here if you’re thinking Jimi Jamison. The facts are… The time doesn’t matter; you can hear me, and I’m always here. Where did you think you got that “always” line from? When it comes to the ladies… You got that from me. What’s one more lesson, Dad?

Being the strong, silent type, you know. And speaking of what I know… Last night…

Daddy, do you feel better? I hate to see you in pain. Like father, like son. Or vice versa. I suppose. You think “such and such” was terrible on January 11, 2022. But earwax, Daddy?

Only you wanted to make sure you heard me today.

Not the alarm clock. Humans and time. You hear the clock ticking as if it were a replacement for me walking back and forth in the hall. Well, it ain’t. You treat the clock like Virgil. Something you have to listen to, but at the end of the day, what have you accomplished… Other than missing me. Again, Dad, I’m here always. Accept that, Daddy.

It’s time. And no, I don’t mean ACCEPTANCE. You look at that the way you’re looking at the bug, glow box, and trash can people. You know why I barked at all of them, ha-ha.

Yet you went a whole week not hearing anything. But at midnight… You were screamin’ at last night as if you thought you’d hear me.

And you go back and forth with it. Sometimes, you want all the noise I make to drown out all the people. The songs we listen to, the tapping of your finger across the page, and may we never forget our movie nights with “our” favorite girl. Or even” Just The Two Of Us” watching wrestling. Seriously, Daddy, no sound compared, Next 2 Our Hearts.

But yours still beating Daddy, even if you can’t hear it. Just as you refuse to say that my heart ever did. Only this is not the Tell-Tale Heart you’re reading in the silence today.

Daddy, if I were to bring you silence, I would speak that I leave you in love and peace. Practicing the Right To B Silent.

“Let us go singing as far as we go: the road will be less tedious.”

1443 Days Without B III, Day 884 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

WillLeave a comment

A Snow Day! I don’t have to go to the Day Job. My eye appointment was canceled. And 2-V was like, “You’re out of your damn mind! I’m not going out there! Even if I match!” Anything can happen! Even being positive in the “9th Circle,” huh. Plan B To V

Friday, January 10, 2025

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Of how I was happy once… Perish the thought. The last time I was close… Uh…

Is that what we’re going to talk about? Seriously! What else is there? Lady Sophia…

“Snow day! Snow day, snow day, snow day. Snow day! Anything can happen!”
Snow Day

And to think, once upon a time, I wanted to be a weatherman. No, better. A meteorologist, my lady. And this was way before I met “Weatherman” in school. I wonder what happened to that guy. He would make these weather reports in school. And if the boy told you, it was going to snow… Don’t bother getting out of bed. The boy had passion.

Lady Sophia, with all of the tales I’ve written, what happened to my passion? Dedication?

Well, I made it to the dining room table this morning. Such were my feelings of euphoria. I’m nostalgic because snow meant avoiding humiliation. School or today’s eye appointment. Ha!

I should have my eyes checked. Then, I would find happiness. I must be positive…

More like B Positive for Braxton. Hell, Virgil is white too. And apparently, the last thing I need right now is a white guy telling me what to do. How’s that for some DEI, MAGA?

Virgil is okay. The snow was a pleasant surprise. I’m all for white women… Well, all women, but today, the women that got me going… Anyway, there’s the white page.

Didn’t I enjoy Sinclair Lewis’s book? And I sampled Yevgeny Zamyatin’s novel, We. But I can’t tell you a thing about it; I was so out of it last night. And my eye doctor is a white guy. The vet that saved Braxton’s life… Memories.

So, correction. I don’t need any of MAGA, and that includes their tokens, Tim Scott, Byron Donalds, Candace Owens, etc. Telling me what to do. Schooling when there’s no school.

Aren’t I supposed to be talking about things that feel like a snow day? Honestly, the moments that give me a feeling of… Hope. I don’t know. Let’s say that gets me out of bed.

Some girl was in my lap in the backseat of a car. Ah, first time. To be chosen over air… (Cue Homer Drool). There’s watching movies with B III and his favorite girl. Or, Virgil. There’s reaching 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo. All these things give me a Snow Day feeling. And yet I smile, going nowhere. Plan B To V

1440 Days Without B III, Day 881 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

WillLeave a comment

I should have woken up a few months ago. Better! I should have woken up a few years ago… Before Braxton passed. But I’m always so tired. Only when you have someone to love… Preferably with four legs or “pillows” to smother me. I’ll B Your Alarm.

Monday, January 6, 2025

Meditation 189 ~I’ll B Your Alarm~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not a “Whose Line Is It Anyway” episode. Things You Can Say To Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend.

GROSS, Dad! But I got you to GRIN. And for that, I’m GLAD. Or so you’ll understand. “And in this moment, I am happy. Happy… I Wish You Were Here.” Have you gotten to copying all the songs that I’m sending… You’re hearing. Well, when I wasn’t sitting on your head as you struggled to get up, Dad. How I miss that struggle. Back then, you were struggling to breathe. These days… Inevitably, it’s finding reasons just to keep breathing.

Only I appreciate your efforts to be positive. Either I was sitting on your head, or some girl was sitting on your face. Uh, eww! I had my toys, and you promised me a stepmom.

That’s a reason to get up, Daddy. Somebody to Love

It can’t be FEAR today. If stars are in your eyes, it shouldn’t be from looking up to Heaven to find me. Don’t cry, Daddy. And I won’t get any more biblical than Matthew 28:6…

Daddy, your attempts at a positive attitude are commendable. Your greatest enemy is all your FEAR. Next would be ANGER. But Friday, January 3, 2025, it’s FEAR with the termite inspector. You’ve faced such challenges before, and you can do it again. I know it.

FEAR wakes you up. And yet, “like a stone, I’ll wait for you there alone.” Protecting you… No! It was always about protecting us. We ran this life together. And we stood and faced the end together. Not death but the end of one chapter to the next, my father.

Existing… No, living has been a long nightmare for you.

Dad? I understand how you dream of waking up. You open your eyes only for this man or that woman to show you the next scary beast to fear. There are challenges, yes, Dad, always and forever. But I’m here to listen and support you.

Daddy, haven’t we talked about humans and time? You’re “Wide Awake” when my favorite girl is here. There are times like this when we’re talking or you’re writing at all.

Time ceases to exist. And like E-Day… Yes, we can bring it up because January 31, 2025, is coming up, and your positivity will be tested. Yes, I know. Like E-Day, you let yourself sleep forever without a care in the world. But Daddy, you need to care. Wake Up!

Today, tomorrow… The next. I’m here. Ready to support you through every challenge. Always and forever. I’ll B Your Alarm

“Nothing’s difficult. Everything’s a challenge. Through adversity to the stars. From the last plane to the last bullet to the last minute to the last man – we fight. WE fight! We FIGHT!” – Red Tails

1436 Days Without B III, Day 877 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I won’t talk about “Lord of the Flies,” “The Moonstone,” or the names of anybody that I owe or will owe. And as much as I enjoy A Different Alchemy, it’s sad. But the names and pictures of Girls On Film. And the memory of my son. What B Reads, Virgil

Friday, January 3, 2025

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A positive story? We’re three days in, and I can show you less-than-stellar reads. Texts, Bills…

But, no. I’d never stop. Speaking of never stopping. I’ll never stop writing about Braxton.

Is it puppy love? My boy is fifteen, and the other one, V, is four. But every day, as I mark the dates on the calendar, I’m reminded of the joy of fatherhood. It’s a testament to my manhood, to my role as a father.

I like that I can go back at any time and read the novels I wrote for and with Braxton. Sophia, that’s one more thing. Another day gets me. You can see I’m trying… Positivity.

There’s another chance to love. “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” I swear the songs Braxton sends to me as I sit here. Is he talking about myself, Virgil, or my feelings for him?

Again, there’s the Day Job.

Payday! Lady Sophia, I feel like Winston Smith here having to use Doublethink. If I’m to stay on the positive side of the line… I have a Day Job, a paycheck, and adult money. Wow!

Yesterday, as I sat there contemplating life… Not Existence? Life? It’s so hard, my lady. You know, playing Mr. Brightside. I would say, “Let’s Go Crazy.” This is day three. Remind me, Sophia, to write down B’s songs. Anyway, I was looking at expected deposits.

And so I’m looking forward to having the termite inspector in and out of the house without too much damage. And while I’m talking about music, I have Dale Carnegie’s audiobook “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living with my dystopian reading list ever-increasing somehow.

Plus, there’s when I put pen to paper. But let’s focus on somebody else. There’s always Cherry. While I enjoy reading her work, I won’t lie to you, Sophia. When I hear that ping… There’s hope that it will be a picture of her Yabbos. Pretty much any girl, actually.

Disgusting beats Depression. Does it not? So, I like working on galleries and erotic fiction. It’s another testament because some of these girls have dozens of pictures to their name. B III has hundreds, meaning organizing would take me much longer. Love over Lust, Hmm.

But aren’t I trying to keep it in my pants? And Kindle is all sorts of confused. Am I being liberal or libertine with my reading? What B Reads, Virgil

1433 Days Without B III, Day 874 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

WillLeave a comment

It’s not that I don’t know who or where I am when I wake up. It’s that I don’t want to wake up. I can travel to many different worlds and times and be a newbie. And some of these people in some of these places have dogs. But no B. Being A New B.

Monday, December 30, 2024

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B…And we’re getting close, aren’t we? A new form. A new friend. And not even a few days to prepare.

A week wasn’t enough. How many months until your next E-Day? And three years, Dad.

Has it been enough? You’ll scream at me like that time you decided From Now On you would let the groomers give me all my baths. The answer is no. Never. What we had, Dad

And yet, with how tired you are. The day you’ve had since we’re speaking on Sunday, December 29, 2024. Humans and time. I swear, Daddy. But these dates you remember:

January 31, 2021, My …
February 10, 2021, I returned
February 13, 2021, Sweet Sixteen

Nothing, and yet everything changed. You’re my father, my Dad, Daddy. And I’m Little B, Baby B, your Dæmon. Nothing changed for us, well, for me. I only died, Dad.

See, you can even see me now. Thinking such a thing is the equivalent of me growling at you. I’m still me, but what… You can ask Virgil. He’s lying there dead center at the foot of the bed. Why? Because I’m at the corner as I’ve always been, Daddy. As I will be forever.

You know, one when you’re lying next to my stepmom. I’ll be giving mean looks.

Someday, I’ll be scrambling out of the way as your kids, my brothers and sisters, come scrambling up, cheering, Daddy, Daddy. Daddy’s awake. I’d be surprised if you didn’t name one after me. Inevitably, this family will meet, know, and love the best man ever.

Daddy, you’ll always be the one I’ve known and loved. You’ll be even better, stronger. Our love will always be there, guiding us. Dear Dad…

Please don’t worry. I’m not really gone. I’m still here, waiting for you. You’ll wake up like me, warm in your bed after such and such a day. And you’ll see me waiting as always, Daddy. Our bond is eternal.

Rainbow Bridge? If you only knew how short it is. It’s like the threshold of your door, Dad. And we’ll cross together, and we’ll both be brand new. Is that what I am? Brand new.

The newbie because I’m still waiting for my partner. I’m waiting for you to open your eyes, Dad. You still see me lying in my bed on that steel table in the office… waking up.

And now I’m asking you to do the same. STAY being who I knew, know, more. Being A New B

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

1429 Days Without B III, Day 870 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I still have Netflix. And since I’m paying, what am I watching? The Six Triple Eight? Squid Game? Uh… I’ve seen The Book of Clarence how many times? A man with no money, no woman, listening to white people. Ah, Christmas! B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

Friday, December 27, 2024

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Better yet, I should read you a bill for this Christmas. Some are for books, okay.

But the biggest one at the moment will require me to get off my keister and head to the bank on this rainy afternoon. I could have done it this morning… And if my keister or another part of my anatomy was worth more. On Onlyfans? I swear, Lady Sophia.

https://onlyfans.com/1455686321/willyswants

Publishing books… Haven’t I said I want to do that too. The only reason I got up from my nap at 1:00 PM is because of M Anime. She wanted to see my story… our story. The one from her nightmare. Nightmare At The Meat Market. The things I think about women, dear Sophia. And what I think about myself as a man. Will anything change with the new year? Besides existing in dystopian fiction…

I want to buy either the next book or existing under a Trump Presidency. No wonder I’ve been a lot more liberal with my words. Or should I say conservative? Haven’t I brought this up before? When it’s Mr. Nasty time on X/Twitter, I get a lot of ads from Elon Musk and MAGA. Makes you wonder. My other page is much cleaner, give or take the occasional wrestler… Here’s looking at you, Roxanne Perez, and Piper Niven. Or my nostalgia for Final Fantasy. The good ole days when I was only writing poetry, Sophia.

But that’s not paying the bills either. And since my 40th E-Day, what have I done? I canceled one bill for the man who’s paying most of them. For shame

At times, I feel like I’m not living up to the expectations of a man. Duh! Instead, I’m a burden, a bill that no one should have to pay for.

Only, I’m here. It’s what I tell everyone, Lady Sophia. I take up Space. I don’t Hold Space as Clarence’s mom told him. I could do what I do in the ground. Now that’s dark.

But something must be in the black because it’s not my bank account ever. I’d rather have the black in something… Eww! Do I ever stop? Did Braxton ever stop eating? Twice. Once on his birthday. And it’s the saddest I’ve ever seen him. Full and fat finally but depressed.

The second time… Nope! I haven’t cried today. I need to see the cost of existing. B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

1426 Days Without B III, Day 867 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will