Tag: Memory

Meditation 256 ~The Last B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My day to day… A boy who dropped out of college, working in retail, lusting after an English girl. Uh, Grayson in Satan’s Sorority Girls 10. A boy in college who runs a coven. And knocked up an English girl. I’ll read and “live” to The Last B Virgil.

Friday, March 14, 2025

Meditation 256 ~The Last B Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And what about a review? Sorry, no. The sadness, slothfulness, and slivers of time we’re given.

My Depression is hitting hard today. I thought I’d said it was *Prolonged Grief, * Sophia. Whatever the cause, I’ve been sitting here listening to California Dreamin’ from The Mamas & The Papas. And this Papa misses his son, Braxton. Effing Euthanasia. But Virgil’s here.

Should I have shared yesterday’s story with Virgil? I would have with Braxton over a meal. But how has his Daddy been living since yesterday? Invariably, the answer is bad.

At the Day Job, somebody pushed a bucket full of candy under their desk… What? I took out three tiny packs of Sweet Tarts Wednesday. That’s a total of nine Sweet Tarts. I also displayed my greediness with cookies on Thursday. I’m seeing all of this with my brand-new specs.

I suspect they are not exactly the same ones as MyEyeDr. But anything beats the first pair they gave me. And so my eyes and ears feel better, but what about my stomach? Didn’t I mention a meal? The Piggie Potato, but I didn’t splurge on brisket this time. For B III, I would have…

My lady, I must stop comparing what I’d do for Braxton over Virgil. I’m well aware of this. But I finished *Life After Pet Loss on Wednesday. And yesterday, I started Satan’s Sorority Girls 10. And speaking of everything, I’m reading off of Amazon. What about watching? One more reason I’m all into *California Dreamin’*. I’ve wanted to watch *Fallout* on Amazon Prime. But I wasted my free trial. And cash. SIGH. What’s that? Ha!

It’s what I should be making to support such pretty, pretty girls. Cherry and M Anime? What about B III’s favorite girl? I’ve already seen her sans clothing. Very Nice!!!

But Cherry comes a callin’ once in a while… About her writing… And M Anime did ask about her story, Nightmare At The Meat Market. I need to get on it. But as for today.

Lady Sophia, I only have to look forward to a ZaxSeas Surf & Turf Meal if I leave this house. Great, wasting more money! But time is money, as I imagine Ella Purnell as Lucy MacLean sans clothing. Yes, I’m much too busy to dot i’s and cross t’s. To write M Anime’s nightmare, THE END. The Last B Virgil

1503 Days Without B III, Day 944 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

WillLeave a comment

At best, I’m only a comfort-seeker. Or just “The Seeker,” since I lost my boy. And being a Hedonist takes work. Though my son’s fur is softer than any woman’s big, puffy… uh, never mind. In truth, I give into sloth just lying here. It Better B Softer

Monday, March 10, 2025

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Why would I leave the clouds, the bed in the garden, or wherever else you think I’ve disappeared to?

To show you the way. To prove your heart hasn’t hardened. To provide softness and security. My father. It’s when you felt safest… Your arms wrapped around me. You slept best when I sat on the corner of the bed watching you, then the door. And sitting on your head…

Well, you woke up every morning happy to be alive… No, that’s not my Dad.

Happiness? You woke up with the hope you won’t die – hope we won’t die. Because where would we go? You read about sending me to Heaven… The Rainbow Bridge.

Where are you going? Somewhere of Fire and Ice. Needless to say, the “South Side.”

“Here we are now going to the south side – to the south side
I pick up my friends, and we hope we won’t die – hope we won’t die
Ride at night, ride through Heaven and hell – Heaven and hell
Come back, love, and feel so well – feel so well.”
South Side

Daddy, you have time to listen to Moby. Now listen to me. We stay together.

We’re brothers! We’re staying together! You’re my Dad. I’m your kid. We’re staying together. I am yours, and you are mine! We’re staying together. There are lots of comfy spots.

Though I wish there weren’t so many tissues right now. Or are you investing in Kleenex? Nope, just crying over me. That’s not what today is about. Some soft words…

Instead, Daddy, I only want somewhere you can lay your head and rest your heart. Your soul? We both worry about that with Virgil around. Daddy has a good soul. Whoever would I tell that to in this place? This comfy spot of all comfy spots, still I turn home.

“I turn home. I turn to the place that I was born, to the mother who bore me and the father who taught me, long ago, long ago, long ago. Alone am I now, lost and alone in a far, wide, wondering world.”
1960’s Spartacus

Daddy, wherever you are that’s soft, safe, and smiling, I will turn to as home.

You finished texting with my stepmom this morning. Well, Virgil’s stepmom. Because she knows all about me. Ain’t a woman alive that can take my place. A pair of Yabbos…

Yeah, helps plenty. And what can I say? I am my father’s son. You remember how I was with my favorite girl. But all the SOFT things in this world. All The Small Things. Me.

What about the words that will one day give you and Virgil a better life? He deserves it, Daddy, you know that. And you have all the sour candies because you wanted to protect me from chocolate. And the bits of food you could share with Virgil. The big softy.

Love, ladies, your life, and Virgil’s. It Better B Softer

“And what is the bloodydamn point of surviving in this cold world if I run from the only warmth it has to offer?”
Golden Son

“Night reigned: all through the world tied bodies were harvesting tranquil slumber.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1499 Days Without B III, Day 940 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 249 ~We’ll B Reviewed Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A man once reviewed forty years of life with a spool of wire. Hearing his wife, I knew mistakes were made. I don’t have a wife, but I’ll complain about Taco Bell and MyEyeDr. I wrote reviews. A book about my son. And notes. “We’ll B Reviewed Virgil.”

Friday, March 7, 2025

Meditation 249 ~We’ll B Reviewed Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or rather write a review. Review this excuse: I was too busy being a “Karen” yesterday.

But was I? The loss of my son, Braxton, is a loss for the world. Usually, if I didn’t like something I was eating well… Braxton would get it as a treat. Taco Bell ingredients…

Lady Sophia, I’m not interested enough to look them up. But yesterday I was angry.

Sophia, I was mad enough to write a review of the Caliente Cantina Chicken Crispy Taco Meal. But what good will come of it? Why don’t you ask about all my novels? Two about B.

And speaking of two, I also gave a rather scathing review to MyEyeDr. That one is worse because, first, I hate these makeshift glasses. Second, I had to speak poorly of people who looked like me. My Brothers and Sisters…

It’s like we’re all in desperate need of unity. Isn’t it? They say sports are supposed to bring people together, but even wrestling couldn’t hold my attention last night. I woke up just minutes before midnight to the sound of ‘God Bless America’ and a rerun of WrestleMania. The sheer exhaustion of it all, Sophia. Hate is a draining force. I can’t fathom how those in the MAGA camp manage it. The relentless cycle of politics, greed, and racism… it’s enough to make anyone weary.

Sophia, The Banality of Evil

And I’m sure I mentioned before that on my X/Twitter feed where I see the most MAGA that happens to house the degenerates, deviants, and most disgusting people. It’s me…

Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me… But I won’t chalk either one of those songs, “The Banality of Evil” or “Anti-Hero,” to either of my boys B or V. Just like my TV viewing habits…

Again, why am I not reviewing a book or anime today? That’s what I’ve been thinking about if people in real life hadn’t gotten in the way. Being awful Karen-Like.

Well, rather than watching it again. I do mean the anime Film/Episode “Karen” by Shinjukuza. I swear! I’d be quite the scholar if all of life were more ADULT situations. But that’s the thing, Lady Sophia. My entire existence needs a serious review. I wouldn’t recommend it. What about Braxton’s and Virgil’s? I’m reading a new book, Life After Pet Loss. It’s by Lynnlee Hunt. It was talking about loving deeply and how such love hurts sometimes. So, why bother?

Depravity works the same way. Increasing knowledge increases sorrow. So reviewing… We’ll B Reviewed Virgil

1496 Days Without B III, Day 937 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

WillLeave a comment

How do I hear my sons? One is my mourning, Braxton. The second is Virgil, wondering what he must do to make a name for himself. If only I could remember it like I do obscure song lyrics and the Hell MAGA brings. I play “The Tune of B.”

Monday, March 3, 2005

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the hills are alive with the sound of music. The hills being your pillows… And you’re snoring, Dad.

I know. You don’t snore. How else could you hear every sound I made? Well, except for one. More like you did, but you were so angry back then and were trying to protect me. It was other humans that were the problem back then. Don’t cry, Daddy, please. I know.

Today, you wanted to talk to me. And not about that BIT*H from *that place*. First, I can say that because that’s a word about my kind. Four legs and all. Second, you know the place you would go to for hours. And then you’d come back mad and sad, but you would bring food.

You don’t want to talk about Grandpa, either. Humans. You are my human, my Daddy.

You would say my bark, my presence meant more to you than anything else in the world. That’s how I know you love me, Daddy.

But then you asked the glow box about Virgil. That’s what you’re thinking about today. Friday, February 28, 2025. What it said about my little brother and you being Daddy:

Virgil’s Voice:
If Virgil could speak, he might say: “I don’t know what’s chasing you, but I feel it too. You’re loud and quiet all at once, and I don’t know where to stand. I want to trust you, but I need you to see me—not him, not the dark thing you carry. I’m scared, but I’m staying. Help me stop shaking.” From, AI

Daddy, will you tell AI about me? I remember watching you do things on many glow boxes for a long time. There was one in every comfy spot I had except my room. And even then, when I was sick, you would sit and stay with me, listening to music or watching funny things. But when I got really ill and, you didn’t care. You lay beside me all night. Had I known how to save a life. Dad to son and son to Dad. Trying to hear and heal.

Glow boxes won’t do that…

Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving the signal? Do you copy me? Listen to me, Dad. Your dead son is speaking to you through a song written about infected/zombies in the hands of my human who wishes that he’d… No! I won’t say that. Daddy, you are ALIVE, and that means I’m ALIVE. My little brother, Virgil… Will you listen to him?

There is so much noise. And so many voices and you’re only looking for more. Like you told Lady Sophia, you were reading about bonafide fathers and soon-to-be ones, too.

Daddy, you’ve even looked into animal communicators. Seriously, who haven’t you asked? Daddy, who did I know that had the answers? He sang a good song. The Tune Of B

“Save my father if you can.”
Golden Son ―Pierce Brown

“The man you seek is here. I stand before you,”
― The Aeneid by Virgil

1492 Days Without B III, Day 933 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 242 ~Not The B’s Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

How many times have I said that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But if one of my women… Did I say that? If someone were having my baby, I would freak out. And with what happened to my firstborn son. And now “Virgil’s Voice”. Not The B’s Virgil.

Friday, February 28, 2025

Meditation 242 ~Not The B’s Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or rather, write you a review. But do you see what time it is? The End.

As I’ll never forget, the end of the world was Sunday, January 31, 2021, at 4 PM. I stood in a veterinarian’s office and watched as my firstborn son, Braxton, made his way to the Rainbow Bridge. I thought the tears that were flowing were from a lack of sleep…

Last night wasn’t the best. And energy shots, along with audiobooks, are very expensive. And I had no choice but to listen to everyday people and read about losing money. Once again, Sophia, I turn to my sons. But even AI hasn’t been too friendly. And why did I turn to it in the first place? Because people suck. Well, the majority, anyway, my lady.

But anyway, I had AI analyze my writing about Virgil:

Virgil’s Voice:
If Virgil could speak, he might say: “I don’t know what’s chasing you, but I feel it too. You’re loud and quiet all at once, and I don’t know where to stand. I want to trust you, but I need you to see me—not him, not the dark thing you carry. I’m scared, but I’m staying. Help me stop shaking.” Courtesy of AI

Now… does that sound like the type of Dad anyone wants to have or what V deserves, my lady? I had the misfortune to watch my son fall. And now, B watches me from wherever.

Instead of being a good Dad, I choose to read about men who are or will be. For example, Satan’s Sorority Girls 9. SPOILER… Robyn’s pregnant. Grayson is somebody’s daddy!

Then this morning, I was reading Bikini Sunset. Ethan already has three baby girls: Olivia, Lexie, and Meredith. And SPOILER: if Meredith gets pregnant… What will his actual daughter, Maddie, think? Ethan might entertain a fourth by adding Colleen’s twenty-year-old daughter, Ariella, to his harem.

A man provides. And the more I read about Grayson, who has nothing but love. Ethan has that plus millions…

I swear! If I were Grayson, I would be scared to death. And even Ethan must be overwhelmed with potentially having four women and besides being Papa Bear… He could be a fifty-year-old with a brand-new baby. I’m forty and nowhere near close to this.

However, being my age, the eye doctor said there had been no change in my eyes. Great! However, I had to read the bill, which brought me back to how the world will end someday.

I’ve always read that if something happened to the bees, mankind would be done for.

“NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!”
The Wicker Man

The B’s that have ended mine: My birth, Braxton’s death, bringing Virgil home without thinking. A plethora of boo… Yabbos. Books I haven’t reviewed or written… Not The B’s Virgil.

1489 Days Without B III, Day 930 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

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There ain’t a man alive that can take my son’s place. And ain’t a man alive I wouldn’t put down to keep him safe. B’s life was/is my courage. And how he showed such courage. What right do I have to fear. Effing world… “Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton”

Monday, February 24, 2025

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t be sad. No, Daddy, that is much too simplistic for you. And being happy. Were you now… Ever

You’ve been sick with those little bottles, trying to stay awake for a while. Now you know how I felt with those little sticks when you would say, “They’re for your teeth, B. Try it.” But it’s more than that. It’s the glow box. The one you’d stare at forever…

“Someday, it will be All About You,” you would tell me as I lay beneath the table for hours and hours. It wasn’t my favorite time, but we were always together as you built worlds.

You would create so many so that one day, we would have one of our own. You weren’t friendly, fancy, or very fun. Daddy, that is what you are, my father. Focused and brave one to B Not So Fearful.

And that’s why I’m here today. If I had my way, then surely you would be closer… I sound like such a girl, don’t I? That made you chuckle but not happy. What I’d give…

Well, I’m giving up a moment of paradise. But what is better than lying beside my Dad once more? I would trade anything to switch places with my little brother right now. Hey Jealousy as you would sing to me. That was way before my time. But you’d hold me…

And Daddy, those are the times I wish you’d remember. But anything beats your fear.

Remember those moments of fury, Dad? That’s when you were at your bravest. Why hide it? The two of us standing against the world. I had you, and you had me. What’s fear to us?

It’s not in your vocabulary, that’s what. I heard you more than enough times when you took me to the mean place. You know where the other humans would cover my mouth and stick me with many sharp things. Or they would clip my nails. And even worse. A bath.

You would have fun laughing at me. Well, all except the last time… No, no, no! Let’s stay with the fun. Like when I would hang out with you and my aunt, watching the other glow box. The one you’d watch together, but you know what, my favorite part… Food.

Daddy, you need to eat. You are not as “Effed” as you claim. You are the best man/human I know. Father? Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton.

“I decided that there were times when all a dog could do was wait and see what would happen next, what choices people would make that would change everything or make it more of the same.”
― W. Bruce Cameron

“Call up your courage again. Dismiss your grief and fear. A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1485 Days Without B III, Day 926 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

When I was a child… (at 40, I still am). Reading in school (WHAT I WANTED) was all about survival. Reading what I was supposed to or, worse, listening to people… My four-legged sons have better things to say. Comforting. “Braxton’s Good News, Virgil”

Friday, February 21, 2025

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my eye exam… Well, that’s not until next week. Let’s not think about next week.

Hell! Not if you want me to stay in a positive mood. And 3… 2… 1… Let’s Jam. B III? Braxton knows all about the good news, seeing as he’s in Heaven. The Rainbow Bridge?

The Hell if I know my lady. But it’s a good place. While Virgil is sitting on the bed looking like a Mormon or Martin from the film Vivarium. Black and white, my little boy.

Braxton and Virgil are both my sons. I can write that down as often as I want, my lady. But to understand it, believe it, and even better to know it. Knowledge is stronger than belief… That’s in The Book of Clarence. Don’t read the reviews from most. It’s good.

We’re basking in the joy of reading good news today…

Well, yesterday, anyway. THEY deposited the tax refund to the bank account. A $1,000 laugh! But still, it’s exhilarating to read about a large deposit, Sophia. Eww! This should tell you everything you need to know about my Day Job. And what comes next to cash? I’m talking about Yabbos.

Mammaries? Whether it be reading Satan’s Sorority Girls 9. And Grayson having his way with Agatha? Aren’t I supposed to be reading something about dogs or on Black History, my lady? We’ll get to that. But I haven’t cried for Braxton today. And current affairs…

Honestly, there was whatever was in my search bar. Something about Maisie Williams in the movie The Falling. And speaking of English women. What was I writing about Cherry, hmm?

I’ve been working on the novel Nightmare At The Meat Market. And I’ve gotten so caught up with AI reviewing it. I’d let humans read it, but… A prison sentence…

Figuratively and literally. Anyway, as I plot to blow my newfound wealth. I will be buying more books on people burying their fur babies. “But not yet… Not yet!” And all I need to do to read about the struggle of Black people is turn on… Anything. Trump Administration! I want to learn, and I’m determined to do so, even when I’m lost in a rage or drowning in sadness.

Like reading a bill saying I owe so much. Grocery lists. Scammers and hackers galore! Sophia, I understand why MAGA hates reading. Being criminals themselves. But, Braxton’s Good News, Virgil

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
The Fountainhead
Ayn Rand

1482 Days Without B III, Day 923 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 231 ~Press B For Strength~

WillLeave a comment

I feel his hand on my brain, Tupac said of God. My little God, my Braxton… Ahem, I feel his butt on my head, so I get up and go out and let B do his thang. So I got up to batter the keys and not the bed. Am I better? Stronger? ‘Press B For Strength.”

Monday, February 17, 2025

Meditation 231 ~Press B For Strength~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Birthday Cake… I know it’s not your favorite subject. But as long as we’re talking about me. Not you.

And isn’t that why I’m here? While I’ll always be here. Warming up your legs… Because it can’t only be the cold. It’s a bad habit, Dad, to lie in bed all day. Though I know, I agree with you. It was “Almost Heaven, West Virginia…” Stick to barking. Right?

That’s one more thing that would get you out of bed. Why do you imagine my paradise waiting for you beside the Rainbow Bridge is one big bed surrounded by my favorite foods on all sides? Especially with the way I left you. I couldn’t eat at all. Sorry, Daddy.

Today, you imagine me as your Ee’char from one of those shows we’d watch in the “glow box” sometimes. Remember those times, Daddy? And what happened to him? Don’t cry.

You said a few days ago that you write down questions you’ve answered. Broken record…

But if I need to repeat it, okay. It’s not your fault. What you did to my still beating heart… I understand, Daddy. I know.

“Cast in the name of God, Ye not Guilty” ―

There are so many things from the “glow boxes” today, aren’t there? Anyway, dear father.

What is it I’m trying to say? With these hands, your hands, the hands of he who will forever be my best friend, brother, a believer of a better world. Father, Dad, and my protector. You are neither a murderer nor an executioner. So, who are you? That’s yet another question, and here is my answer, Dad. You are better than this always and forever.

The hands that went to battle for me when we faced the ‘Hounds of Hell,’ i.e., other humans’ fur buddies, can build a whole new world. It’ll be Virgil’s, Daddy. Virgil, my little brother, is my legacy and your responsibility. However long it may take, I ask that you don’t take too long with him. Virgil Vivi Bradford is my little brother, and he is your son. Daddy, I ask you to be kind, please.

Don’t be troubled by all the bucks you would tell me about. Or the two B’s in Yabbos that would have you sending me away and on your belly. Or the bites of food that remain in that cold box, which I could feel in the food place sometimes. Be good. Press B For Strength

“We who send you the signs know you very well. We understand you. We love you. We always have. We always will.” ―
Kate McGahan Jack McAfghan
Pawprints from Heaven

“No day shall erase you from the memory of time.”
― Virgil
Publius Vergilius Maro

1478 Days Without B III, Day 919 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Valentine, M Anime. To B’s favorite girl. And to Cherry, who has the nicest Yabbos I’ve never seen. And speaking of things I’ve never seen. Loving myself? Eww! Not like that. But I love B III. And 2-V… “Love To B Virgil.”

Friday, February 14, 2025

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A “love story”. Is Braxton sending me Taylor Swift songs? I started with Bill Withers today.

A “lovely day,” isn’t it when it isn’t my tears for Braxton but something else for, um… M Anime. Eww! I’m sure she would not appreciate me feeling some kinda way about her, Valentine, though she may be. I still have shopping to do for her, too. Welcome to manhood…

No, my lady. I truly felt like a man when I became a Dad, a realization that hit me hard last night. I found myself shedding tears over my first love, my son, Braxton, B III. And Virgil? He’s still here, breathing. Alive and well.

And Virgil’s heart is still beating. It’s “Times Like These” that I remember… I still have one of my own, Sophia. Or it will be tomorrow. Back to showing everyone how much I love 2-V.

Love? A step too far…

But Virgil’s been here 916 days. But then ask me how long I’ve known M Anime. Let’s say I’m glad I’m not playing the role of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin. As much as I care for M Anime, I gotta get my Jiggy on occasionally. Some freaky, deaky, and all. When was the last time? Hmm.

It’s been a while. Today, it is supposed to be all about M Anime. So, what to do, what to do? As I said, I sent her some Bill Withers. And I have some shopping to do. Flowers and candy? Nah! “My Girl…” is into survival gear and, surprisingly, lingerie, along with some crotchless outfits. Ahh! So that’s why I stuck around, besides her being a good person. And maybe…

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me…” Remind me to send her Wonderwall, Honey and the Moon, and Take Me To Church. Who says you can’t love someone if you can’t love yourself first? Is it love? It’s something, my lady. But what?

Because, truth be told, I don’t “always” love or even like myself. But the lust for everything, that’s always there…

Love, for me, is reserved for my boys, my sons. Loving people that’s a whole different story. It’s complicated. But rolling around in bed… Eww!

Lady Sophia that is so much simpler. And it explains where I am at this very moment. If I get up, it will be to take V outside and that must mean I love him. His four legs and all.

Valentine’s Day? It’s for M Anime. Love To B Virgil

1475 Days Without B III, Day 916 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 224 ~On B’s Being Popular~

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After all the likes I got, I’ve been a busy bee with videos of the queen… queens. But what of my son? Four years ago, I got him back in a box. And how do I choose to remember him? How does he remember me? And all these people… “On B’s Being Popular.”

Monday, February 10, 2025

Meditation 224 ~On B’s Being Popular~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I have a question. And, of course, I start with food. When was the last time we had honey?

You see honey buns at the bad place all the time. You know, the place that always took you away from me. The reason you were so tired and mad whenever you came back home.

Home? I know you don’t like that word. And even now, you’re crying because today… Four years ago, you got a call that I was ready to be returned to you… That I was prepared to come home. It wasn’t on my own four legs. A box. A baggie. Brother.

Inevitable, wasn’t it, brother, my brother? My Dad. You said it yourself, twenty years, Dad. I got fifteen. And I wish those were the years you would see. 20/20 vision. Do you see what I did there? Pesky eye doctors.

But the world didn’t end on Thursday, December 31st 2020. It didn’t end on Sunday, January 31st 2021. And as much as you wish for it. Daddy, it didn’t end with E-Day either, and you know why that is. You were meant to be my Daddy. I became your son. Always and forever. Neither one of us becoming the Cool Kids, though you promised. Remember.

You would be like Dennis Hof, and I would be your Domino. Will Bradford and Braxton Bradford. Which explains what you were working on this morning. Being cool with people…

“Popular! You’re gonna be popular!” But for what? It didn’t matter why or when, Dad. We had each other. And with me, your sonny, the money, and the right honey…

Didn’t M Anime come a-calling yesterday? Daddy, will you ask her to be your Valentine?

Again, you were working at the glow box this morning because everyone was as excited as I was whenever my favorite girl came around. She had great big “mountains,” Daddy.

GokuSen? Is that a buried memory? The two of us watched that together. Good times.

That’s my roundabout way of saying this, Dad. Bees aren’t remembered for their sting or the pain they may inflict. But for what they produce. The honey. They say if bees die, then people don’t have long. Daddy, you’re my person, and like Black Panther…

Daddy, I never yielded, and as you can see, I’m not dead. I’m B, Celebrate that! On B’s Being Popular

“You think you’re good? Who is left that you love? Who do you fight for?”
― Morning Star, Pierce Brown

“Let me rage before I die.”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1471 Days Without B III, Day 912 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son