Tag: Truth

Saga 194 ~ B’s Dead Quiet Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Braxton had his moments when he figured I needed to shut up. No wonder I wasted an hour and a half writing; when I already had this cued up. Hell! Today was pretty quiet on the humiliation front. But I’ll never forget… B’s Dead Quiet Virgil

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Saga 194 ~ B’s Dead Quiet Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so yes, that was a low fucking blow, and I’m in no fucking mood. Humiliations Galore…

Humiliation, Fear, and Rage, Inspector Echo. When all I want to do is sleep. Better, I want to be with Braxton. Today is Wednesday, January 4, 2023, Inspector. I couldn’t wait. It’s all too much. Oh, like the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident of 2022? Humiliation! Inspector, all I can tell you today is this. I woke up on time this morning, and after I posted, I went back to sleep. Afraid to open my eyes. No, worse. Every time I shut my eyes, I hoped I would die. I didn’t want to get up. And it was as if something someone knew about today. While reading on January 3rd (last night), I swear I heard breathing in my ear. I wanted it to be Braxton.

Hell! Virgil was on the floor. Could he tell that Braxton and I were having a moment? B III, didn’t want me falling asleep? I’m not this evening. As Yoda said, fear leads to anger. I swear, while I stood there at the Day Job, bathed in MY humiliation, I had one clear thought, Inspector. Call it a life goal, like me trying to keep my dick in my pants. Anyway, I said to myself, “I never want to talk to another human being for the rest of this existence. Misanthrope? Indeed, I am. At this rate, I should have become a monk or something. Inspector, if I’m not going to die. Then I need to find some way to get away from people. Fuck!

But seeing I can’t have the quiet which is death. Do I want to go back to the day Braxton died? Comparison… nothing beats that pain. So I can endure the Day Job noise, Inspector. Forget whoever the fuck I am and become whatever it is; these assholes want Inspector. It’s not like I even know, but I want to try and look. Or at least I did. And becoming what I was once before. As I keep talking about MY son, I will keep repeating Virgil is not B. So those are my options, Inspector. Fear to exist and lay down and die. Rage consumes me, and fuck humanity. Or face humiliation always. Be like Virgil sitting, waiting. B’s dead. B’s Dead Quiet Virgil

710 Days Without B III, Day 151 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

WillLeave a comment

How do I fix my wallet, want to be awake, and make myself worthwhile to my son? Work? Well, not my Day Job. But to write? Only I spend all my time sleeping, so the bed must be broken. How’s this for motivation? “Sleep Is The New Broke”

Monday, January 9, 2023

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… and the first thing I’ll buy… if they can’t bring Braxton back from the ashes. A bed.

I know exactly where I got this rule from. It’s from one of Eric Thomas’s motivational speeches. And that’s what I should be talking about, but Wednesday, January 4, 2023. Madam, I can’t get the humiliation off my mind. Talk about having a big head. We’ll get to that, but you know what I mean today, Thursday, January 5, 2023. I didn’t want to wake up. I stay woke, but that’s because I feel such hatred, I’m horny, and he’s by my side, Little V. It’s hard to do anything STUPID when you have a fur baby. But dying, Madam? Yeah, the feelings aren’t going away. If I don’t die in this bed… It will break underneath me sometime soon. The way I’ve been sleeping.

Only sleeping? Don’t get your hopes up, Madam. The only play being done in this bed is Virgil running around. There are also several games not “Pictures on My Phone.” Wheeler Walker Jr, thank you very much. I got to talk to M Anime, and then there’s Cherry’s new book. Think of all the books I read if they were physical and not Kindle. There’s also the fact that I have all these conversations in the center of the bed. And when I’m done, it’s right back to sleep, despite how I say I’m getting things done. 4:00 AM, earlier? Then there’s the screaming, crying, and smashing my head against a pillow. No wonder Virgil tries to take it from me. Fur babies, boobies, balls.

Well, I only got two of those. And I do mean balls. I’m still not sure about V and boobies. I’ve mentioned how horny I’ve been, which again brings to mind chatting up the ladies. Now I won’t be breaking the bed anytime soon, bouncing. But I may be breaking my wallet at some point. And with how I’ve been behaving at the Day Job, cutting out early this week. I mean 5th and the 3rd. What? I don’t want the money. It’s Humiliations Galore. I can’t take it, Madam. But if I could stay awake? Hell! I planned on seeing M3GAN this week, and then there’s The Last of Us. I’m broke in more ways than one, Madam. But Sleep Is The New Broke

708 Days Without B III, Day 149 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

WillLeave a comment

I’m no knight in shining armor. My mettle hasn’t been tested in comparison to others. The house is covered in the fur of both the quick and the dead. Then there’s the hoody I wear every day. Because I always look chill… Virgin’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Braxton’s still alive. Don’t I wish? More for him than the money Lady Lunalesca.

I swear I would have gone full Repo Men on his ass. A suit of armor, new organs, and a cache of weapons to protect him. If you’re asking what’s this about, I watched “M3GAN.” Is it just me, or have the last couple of movies I’ve seen brought me to tears at some point? “M3GAN,” “Avatar: The Way of Water,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever?” “The Menu” only made me hungry. This brings me to my point. How does one buy food? Um, money Lu. STUPID question, I know. But short of my son, as the song goes, “Dollar dollar bill, y’all” has been on my mind. And what about Virgil and me? It’s getting pretty cold out. And if I thought summer was Hell…

At least Virgil’s fur coat will serve him well. But a friend says he needs a coat too. What about his own bed, bowl, and biscuit treats? Oh, he’s not eating any from B’s memorial. But it didn’t stop me from buying the same type Triple B would snack on. And this month is supposed to be about B III, shouldn’t it? How to honor his second year Lu. My power, protector, and pain. Hell! I haven’t asked for any time off yet, Lady Lunalesca. I remember the year before. I had a will of steel and an iron will when honoring my Little B. Now the only heavy metal I’m carrying… Where do you think I’ve been all morning? Lady Lunalesca, beginning like this?

A brand new year. And all I want to do is be as warm as V. All cozy in bed, not doing jack shit. But, um, jacking. You know what I want to say, but that’s for Inspector Echo, okay? Again there’s the money problem. Besides everything to continue Virgil’s and I’s existence… Braxton deserves something set in stone. A statue, ink across my flesh. And there’s been those SILVERCUT necklaces I’ve been eyeing forever. Well, two years for B. And finally, there’s my courage. I’ve failed my son and New Year’s Resolutions, oh no. That’s my existence. One big, OH NO. And to drag another fur baby into this mess after what happened to the last one. My idiocy’s spreading. Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

706 Days Without B III, Day 147 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

WillLeave a comment

I forget what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep. Or what it takes to be a good Dad. Can’t ever remember what it’s like not to have a Day Job I don’t hate. As far as being happy… I’d like to write about B being as such. “Virgil Forgets To B…”

Friday, January 6, 2023

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I guess in such “happiness,” I forget how I made it… Writing, women’s bodies, wisdom…

First and foremost, Lady Sophia. AHEM! I’m never HAPPY. I believe Braxton is here. There are times I do believe in a higher power. As for conspiracies… I’m convinced the wealthy have some cabal and control the world. Hell! I suppose one can learn Necromancy. Can I possibly believe I can keep my dick in my pants for 161 days again? Uh, I am trying. But as for me being HAPPY? The song goes, “I believe in a thing called love.” Still, a thing such as happiness. Like the word, rehabilitated… a made-up word, a politician’s word. And on that note, January 6 Insurrection. Apocalypse Buddy Braxton lived. Impossible to forget my son Lady Sophia. Even he didn’t make me happy, though. Bad-Ass, Brave, Better…

That’s how I feel right now. Of course, “better” can mean a lot of things. Only what comes to mind right now is forgetfulness. When I’m better, I forget all the bad stuff and good… Well, not really. But the fact that I wanted to talk to you today. Yeah, first, the 3-hour Day Job. The feeling of leaving that shithole. See, Trump, that’s how you say it. Only then, there’s forgetting a bottle of water and the work shirt I carry. Not huge losses Sophia. Dammit to Hell, though; I hate being forgetful. Yet my Braxton always performed that… What? Miracle? He would make me forget what this world makes me. For him being… Daddy, that was all that is/was required of me, Sophia.

And I’m a bastard for saying this, but Virgil forgot to be… Braxton. Reincarnation failure. Aren’t I supposed to be feeling better today? As I said, I got away from the Day Job super early. I have most of the day to catch up with everything. Tuesday, January 3, 2023. Sophia, I checked my work schedule, and next week isn’t looking too good. No time to write at all. As if I were going to anyway. I’m like V, failing tasks I or others wrote down. I forgot to save my son. Yet feel some way about water and workwear. Sort of. But I’m better all warm in bed. While Virgil lies here cuddling/sleeping but it’s not the same as Braxton… Virgil Forgets To B…

705 Days Without B III, Day 146 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 187 ~It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Humiliation Galore and Shame. One means going to the Day Job or anywhere, sigh. Shame is what I do here. But one makes me want to die, the other, well… not so much. But either way, whatever I do, my poor little guys. It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Saga 187 ~It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and they’re prone to Humiliations Galore. But at the moment, that ain’t me. Only it’s coming.

I bet by the time you read this; I’ll have plenty. I mean Humiliations and not dollars, considering it’s Sunday, January 1, 2023. Time-Travel? So what does that mean? I’m sitting here, lamenting the week that has yet to unleash its true horror. Dammit, Inspector. I have far too much on my plate at the moment to begin imagining my fucking Day Job today. I might be getting back into the motivational genre, considering my watchlist. That doesn’t mean, “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” Or “Three Little Birds” has made it Inspector, playlist-wise. DON’T WORRY should have made it into the New Year’s Resolutions. What do you think, Echo? Sadly, I think way too much. And again, that will be plenty embarrassing, B III, 2V. These poor boys of mine, Echo.

But what about today? I’m not embarrassed, but these actions are either shameful or weird. And for the record, shame and Humiliations Galore are different. Shame is, let’s say, most of the porn I watch. Humiliations Galore is what I showed Braxton’s Aunt. Um, whew! The shame is to spend cash I don’t have on things unrelated to Yabbos. Humiliations Galore is begging to see said Yabbos. I’ve only wished M Anime and Cherry Happy New Year. Ulterior motives are humiliating; the Day Job shows me that more on any given day. Once again, today, and I mean Sunday. It’s shameful not to feel any gratitude, Inspector. To know that in a particular time, I can fuck up and then… I don’t know or care.

Whatever, I’ll waste money on streaming channels, books, and sex toys. And speaking of books, what am I reading? Cherry’s published novel is out this New Year’s Day. Inspector, the things that I will do; whenever a pretty girl is involved. Testament of men. Inspector, it’s far worse when it comes to one of my boys as I think about all that has happened. We started this on New Year’s Day. And now it’s Tuesday, January 3, 2023, huh? But the fact is, I got up at all today and went into the Day Job, and for what? To provide. Only I neither did that nor kept my resolution; I’ve failed Braxton. For the other. Inspector Echo, to exist with me. It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil.

703 Days Without B III, Day 144 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

WillLeave a comment

The second day of the new year, and am I comfortable yet? I wish I could have that day when I scooped B up, told him to shush, and fell asleep. He was dying, and I wasn’t being polite… ignoring him. Such a lesson. Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

Monday, January 2, 2023

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means a lot more comfort and surely much less politeness. That might make a good resolution.

I’m speaking to you from a year ago, Madam. Saturday, December 31, 2022, being precise. And much like right this moment, as the song goes, “there is no love here, and there is no pain.” The Day Job? The indifference that led to the death of my son. One thing remains. But this week Madam. Hell! Today, yesterday, the day before? Whatever song gets picked. I’ve gone from “He’s My Son” to “Am I A Psycho.” There’s “The Way,” “Every Day Is Exactly The Same,” and “Enormous Penis.” Um, ok, that would be… uh, uncomfortable. First off, my continuing to exist makes me pretty damn uncomfortable. A terrible sign for the beginning of the year. Only what, Madam, “Put On A Happy Face.” My resolution?

It begins with the truth. The Man in the Mirror is never comfortable. Unless he and I agree… “we pretend that we’re dead.” I only took a short nap today and spoke to Lunalesca and Braxton. Anyway, back to my resolution. It’s not “I’m Here”; it’s “I’m waiting to see who will piss me off.” That’s my new phrase for the Day Job. Politeness? Again that quickly fell to indifference which killed my kid. Then there’s Virgil (sigh). But the thing is, B III is still here. And while I can’t say I’ll speak comforting memories, I’ll speak “B.” And while there is no way I’ll keep this promise as long as I’m talking. I’ll be “me” like I was with him. Always and forever…

Well, minus the porn, as you can see. Bible Black? I can do so much worse, Madam. Today I unsubscribed from a girl on OnlyFans for… fart jokes, eww. But I hope I haven’t fallen back into jerking off so soon, especially this month. The Zoe Colletti, Tifa Lockhart pain… I want to publish a book this year. Which will be one of the polite ones. Yet you know there are plenty that aren’t so much. What to do with them? Get uncomfortable and work; that’s the big thing. I try to be so polite to others. And then I’m more so to myself, Madam. Holding back everything seems so damn polite. But if I want any real comfort here… Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

701 Days Without B III, Day 142 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Last day of the year, and I am six inches more or less (snickers) from falling back asleep. And there is so much to do today. 1st of Tha Month and year tomorrow. Get busy living or dying… Hell! I merely exist, and what about 2V? A Busy B Virgil.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be sitting on my ass exploiting somebody, Lunalesca. Well, on my ass…

But I am far from taking advantage of anyone. I’m too busy for even that today. Well, that would be a first. And that’s what’s keeping me busy. Preparing for the “1st of The Month.” Well, the first of the year. Besides bursting into tears, Lunalesca, what am I thinking? Today it’s more like what I’m trying not to imagine, and no, not “pornographic passions.” Hell! I had to put the phone down because if I saw one more person who had a great year. If anything, I wasted another year of existence. And I never asked for this Lunalesca. Today though, there are decisions to make, like what will be the first book, the first bop, and the first bill of a new year.

This will be the second year without B III. And bring on the waterworks Lunalesca. Existing in this place; existing in his place. And speaking of which, where’s Virgil now? Back on his pillow. And I wonder how he will do with all the noise that they’ll be tonight. That’s another thing. While Braxton was/is my best friend, and Virgil Vivi… well, as I say at the Day Job, usually, “I’m Here.” Like the song plays, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Virgil, like B, has no stepmom. Did I mention no porno, though there is a dryer here? Ha-ha! And for Virgil to protect his siblings. Well, I’d have to acknowledge him first, Lu. A mistake to give a heart to anyone or anything.

But do I regret doing that for B? I regretted everything in 2021, for sure. And what about this year, 2022? Fuck! On Friday, I bought a pack of all-lime Skittles. New glasses, hmm. Well, the business of a new year because I may have resolutions Sunday. No promises. Now I can’t tell you what the first book will be, though I’m leaning toward more novels on mourning fur babies. At least for the first one, Lady Lunalesca. Remembering Braxton? What will be the first song? I need to think long and hard about that one. To be sure. The first porn? When I wasn’t talking to you, it was all “Street Blowjobs.” Last day of this year. I’m not happy. A Busy B Virgil

699 Days Without B III, Day 140 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

WillLeave a comment

The worst thing I’ve ever read? Braxton’s Final Vet Bill? The Certificate of his Cremation? Any paycheck from the Day Job? The alarm clock? I wish I could say I’ve been reading something good. But no fairytales, only sleeping. Virgil’s Reading Away B

Friday, December 30, 2022

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford all these places for Chinese food, hot dogs, and ice cream.

But what about books? If anything, I hope to get through “Christmas Grump” before the first. It feels wrong to read holiday books after the first. It’s like eating breakfast for dinner. It’s something I don’t do. But if I hadn’t got all those shrimp Thursday, Sophia? For a moment, I was about to say there was never a time I didn’t bring food back for B. His Aunt, of course, could call me on my bullshit. That time we went out one weekend, and I ordered onion rings… Didn’t I also say something about that the other day with Virgil? It seems he can no longer stand for it. At least, I hope so, as he walked in here. Am I not sharing food?

If only he could read receipts and understand peppers and onions aren’t good for him. Hell! I’m not good for him, considering I’m not reading anything appropriate now. I think of Braxton as my son but Virgil. Well, I thought of him as Braxton for a bit, and since he’s not, hmm… Lady Sophia, I should start reading books on disappointment. Besides not yet finding the clip of when I stopped jerking off when B died. That’s what I was trying to read on top of all the porn. I was up at 4:00 AM, right? It’s 6:30 AM, and now we’re talking? Four hrs later, at 10:00. I should read the bills for V. I instead read while he pees “off” his bathroom pad.

Should I read things on dog behavior at the start of the new year? I know what I want. I want more books on dead/dying fur babies. And to have a good cry at them like this year, okay? Is there anything on how to stay awake? Because I’m sure, I’ll fall asleep at the end of this chat. I went through a self-help chapter once upon a time, and there’s Dale Carnegie. I need to be reading that bill for the fire department and sending it off before I get in trouble. The tab for the car shows it’s a little late for that. Virgil understanding Day Jobs? Lady Sophia, if I did, I’d try making more money… Writing ha-ha. Virgil’s Reading Away B

698 Days Without B III, Day 139 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Urge to write? It’s more like fear because today is going to be damn hard. And I could go all Marvin Gaye “When I get that feeling….” But the only thing I want to do now is puke and go to bed. The urge to live the boys did/do. “Urge To B Virgil”

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I’m not WOKE… I cry a lot, and I spend others’ money. I’m Virgil.

Inspector, I wonder if Virgil wants to be Virgil this second, which saddens me. Besides Braxton being gone and all. Of everything, I can say about my son. Survival? Braxton’s last look. I go back and forth with it, but today I’ll say B III wanted to live Echo. Ironic that I am the same way. But we’ll get to that. You know I’m one for physical pain over any mental anguish. Take today, for example, Tuesday, December 27, 2022. I’ve wanted to puke most of the day because I am so humiliated about the car. Hell! I barely made it to the auto shop before the wheel gave out. And now, today/tomorrow, you know what I’m going to do. Day Job’s Humiliations Galore incoming.

Because the urge to live… Not want or need but the notion. And you know it’s one I should ignore. I didn’t Monday. And today, as the world crumbled, I had to get pretty STUPID. More like perverted? Because I don’t want to think with a big head. Bigger head? Inspector Echo, was that a dick joke? I wish I were only making jokes about it but this fucked up day. Well, this whole fucked up year. I’m going broke. But no, not my cock. And an urge to release. Obsession is more like it. I should find out when I stopped before, but that was before Braxton died, and afterward, it was like 161 days. 559 days later, I had to cover up again.

Only Virgil sleeps in B’s Room plenty. Today it was all about survival, then masturbation. I haven’t even cum in a few days, but I only want to sleep. I don’t mean taking some naps. As I said, I was surviving today. More like I didn’t want the humiliation of dying on the road. I swear, Inspector Echo if Virgil weren’t here right now… But he is so Doordash, anyone? I can’t have Virgil Vivi starving, so I ordered a bag of food for him. Myself? I seemed to have lost my appetite. An urge to, well… should I say it? Inspector, you’ll see this tomorrow, so don’t you fret. Unless I get lucky, the alarms fail. Then curse the day. Urge To B Virgil

696 Days Without B III, Day 137 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

WillLeave a comment

The alarm goes off to work at a Day Job I hate, to see people I despise, so I can continue deviant, sinful, skeevy behaviors. And then I have a son/dog to mourn and a “friend”/dog to support. I’m a good liar, but Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… that makes me a pretty big motherfucking liar. Pardon my French. That explains why I hate myself.

And yes, I will hate myself more. It’s all just icing on the cake with my big sin Madam J. The one thing that I never lie about. I killed my son. B III’s blood is on my hands always. And sure, with my time traveling and all. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon on Christmas day, so you know what that means about tomorrow. Hell! I could tell you about the liars I’m going to see. But what good would it do? To quote a Christmas film, “Scrape ’em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself!” Yes, I’m using that out of context. It’s practice. Madam, if anything, I need to become a better liar. The things I told my son. What I tell Virgil.

Well, not yet. By the time you read this, it will have been 135 days. But do you see any women walking around here? Only you on the page and perhaps in one Christmas gift. Relax, Madam, the money was already spent on an artist, Opiumud, and the porn “Bounty Hustler Queen rush!” Talk about something to do at Christmas. I still want a family? One of the things M Anime likes about me is I don’t lie to her. I’m like every other guy. That means, of course, I do. But I try to tell her how it is short of becoming Akon or Wheeler. I Wanna Fuck You, or God Told Me To Fuck You. With women, I need to be a “gentleman.”

Which is why I would both excel and fuck up being a member of the GOP. Oh, I can lie, J. The thing is, I own that shit. You notice I don’t say my bed, food, money or anything J. Madam, you want to know what I own, what’s mine? FEAR! I’m afraid of everything, everyone, every day, always. And the fact that I bother getting up in the morning means I lie constantly. So why do I want to sleep all day? Because I can’t stand a liar Madam. The lies get bigger, and so do the people that tell them. But B III and 2V? They don’t lie. And Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry… to be real. Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

694 Days Without B III, Day 135 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will