Tag: Back

Episode 153 ~Will Is Back Alright~

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You did not take up to be mediocre, even if you’re on your back all day your eyes are wide freaking open, and you know what you are, an actress, a superhero, working for NASA perhaps and I am a writer. “Will Is Back Alright.”

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Episode 153 ~Will Is Back Alright~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well there was an experiment with NASA where I could be paid thousands to stay on my back for a few months; trust me like white people don’t want to be black, I don’t want to be a girl but if I were a pretty one I’d do porn. Of course, guys do porn too but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards, and how much has “B III” made just lying here. Free room and board, medical care, he has me rubbing his belly and head on most days.

Lying on my back is not my purpose, and I did not wake up to mediocre, so why did I wake up at all… walk “Triple B” (it was raining), his medication, check the “War Room” the battle goes well, you are what you eat (Chicken) and talking to you. Sometimes I ask myself, have I always been like this; when I was trying to end my life, taking sleeping pills, painkillers, one every half hour because you know I’m a stickler for time, there was my reason for staying in bed hurting. Now I stay in bed merely trying to recover, and that means nothing is getting done, besides novels, naughty fantasies, and counting what will never happen ever.

Not all heroes don capes, but a lot do because they know who they are, others believe in who the people protected might be someday, and others want to know how strong their enemy is and know they can’t fall back, their backs to the wall. Another benefit is heroes fight back to back so they know who they can trust, villains always worry about knives, so at least evil is forever on their toes, but my point is they are awake and alive. November was about the walking dead (my version of them), whores, and wakefulness; so why do I only want more, falling to me is akin to failure, and I continually return to one of my Motivations where Eric Thomas quoting 50 Cent says, sleep is for those people who are broke.

You know I can complain about money, but for longer than that I haven’t only been “broke” I’ve been dead, and I can’t imagine who I was before, and if I go back let’s say to October, I wasn’t exactly living either. Zombies wake up to feed, and that’s it, though I might be a “Whisperer,” yeah waking up to watch The Walking Dead, my most active time, death is when one feels the most alive and if I could be that guy every moment screaming Will Is Back Alright.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

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Fear is the monster, and the weapons I have aren’t doing anything to kill it, do I even want to anymore, I’m tired but everything is keeping me on my back or my ass, but at least I’m writing, and words are weapons. “And Other Dangerous Weapons.”

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, I suppose some people will answer yes even if they don’t mean it when I’m in the ground, but today I’m Alive; so why is it when I saw 357 I immediately thought about a gun, I’m an American, I’m suicidal, what keeps me on my back?

If anything my day job, I didn’t start sleeping on my back until I became terrified that I would lose my employment, I’ve only ever been late once, and I was wide awake at the time, though generally like Frankenstein’s monster I rise because the job is killing me. How many times do I say I love my dog like pancakes, but like any parent sometimes he becomes my excuse not to do something or to do everything, but love can be a lot of things including shameful. It’s almost as if one should be ashamed of being depressed, for having the blessings that someone like me has, and I am blessed Lady Luna I see that; a bed, a couch, a chair, a dog, so many soft places and some people only see such luxury in a coffin, and that’s if they’re lucky enough.

Speaking of luck the worst weapon that I use against myself is LUST; if I go to Hell, more like when; I can only hope I get a circle two offense, and the sad thing is I can’t even name everything I’ve looked up this past week or even the past hour. I’m so far from paradise nowadays, but I want something higher; I keep telling myself that but as I was saying to “Cherry” yesterday that something greater will probably come with brunette hair.

You would think I wouldn’t look at the ground so much but more at my wooden dining room table or something else that’s indeed rockhard, writing, woody, the weather though I like the rain somewhat which matches my mood, slow and dark. The clock is another source of motivation and irritation over how much time I waste doing nothing it’s a constant struggle it wears me out. Besides lust, SLEEP should be considered one of my seven deadly sins; I have to give up sleep, somebody said that’s when the real work begins when you’re tired and hungry, not that I’m helping myself when it comes to food either sadly.

So day job, fatherhood, depression, lust, writing, time, and sleep, see it doesn’t take a 357 to kill yourself not when there are so many choices And Other Dangerous Weapons.

I Will Have No Fear