Tag: Secrets

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Day one, 365 Tales to Tell. If I don’t end up angry and kill somebody. And arrested for… I could always fall asleep in a heartbeat. Much like my son did. The time we had together and Virgil’s been here how long. I’m still older. BIII Of Time, Virgil.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But how long will it take you? Here we are —the first day of a new year.

Care? Well, I didn’t think so. But to be fair, this is on both of us, considering what time you went to bed. It was early in the morning, sometime around 1:00. What gives? Effing? Don’t you wish? If only I could have been doing something productive. If not… Crying? Hell! You’ll become a billionaire around the same time you forget about your lost boy. To forget about Braxton… “And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I’ll go punch out God.” That’s from Sin City, in case you were wondering. Yeah, looking up the words to some movie led to… Well, maybe we should stick to the subject of time. The first day of “Tales,” and how many for, you know, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And speaking of tales… More like the two novels about your boy. There’s the feeling that someone is watching you. Hell! You just woke up. How many crimes could you have possibly committed? Only I’m not talking about the ones in naughty stories you write. Yeah, you remember. Today is the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo, and you haven’t thought of explaining “your” world. There’s also editing. Or look at it this way. You could eat your words if you got published sometime this week. You’ll eat your words anyway. Yesterday was my last day to eat well. You’ll have quite the time this week worrying about money. I spent everything yesterday and all for you. Do I love you? Yeah, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Deciding…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re always around, and I hate your guts. But we’ll still be Freakin’ Friends. Right? Imagine a day when everything on this list gets done, and then what. “Well, that’s the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream….” You’ll finish this list when you’re done being a pop culture whore. I mean, when you just quoted Tangled. I mean, damn. Or should you say damned? When will you take it upon yourself to get out of this existence? The food poisoning a couple of weeks back. Killing you. Time’s destruction. But again, here you are, wasting it. You want to have sex, sleep, or something to eat. And then what. Only a billion simoleons and then BIII Of Time, Virgil

882 Days Without B III, Day 323 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

WillLeave a comment

Why aren’t I a billionaire yet… A millionaire, at least? It’s because I write like this after six years. It’s getting worse. “Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas,” what’s next, hmm. I don’t know. But tomorrow. “Virgil, These Endings B

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because that’s the way my existence… No. My life is supposed to end. Discovered immortality yet…

If I had Lady Lunalesca, I would have given it to my son. Well, enough of it because at the end of the day, “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Hell! I’d have said goodbye, Lunalesca. And that was last night. Anyway, back to my “point.” I would have given Braxton enough so that we would have gone together. The good death, as they say, and a perfect victory Lu. It even beats out what Tyrion said “Belly full of wine, girl’s mouth around my cock. But of course, we never saw him die, so we don’t know. And you would think I’d be better at this “last words thing” after reading “Looking for Alaska.” It’s only “The Closing Of The Year. How many is that…

Lesson, Episode, Log, Gospel, Chronicle, Saga. So six years? Yep, what a waste, Dear Lu. And all because my “friendship” ended with the Basic Bitch? I don’t know anymore, ha. I’m not going back to read all that, either. Funny how I expect other people to want to at all. And no, that’s not me complaining like on TIBU. Do you remember that? This Is By Us? If I could do it all over again… Hell! I have too much to do today. Ending existence… I’ve said before my aunt had me all wrong about me wanting to destroy everything. Lunalesca, ask me why I dream of an apocalypse, then. “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” Schindler’s List, the Talmud, Pop Culture Whore.

“That’s Me!” that’s from Ask Ashley. “I’ll miss the start as long as I’m here at the end.” That’s from the movie Troy. And “all of it. It’s all true.” I’ve saved a life… As effed up as I am, I’m still here. And while this is the end of another “writing” year. Still breathing. And with these breaths, what do I have to say for myself? Well, other than yelling at Virgil to show some courage. As always, he is not my son. Now that’s a last word Lunalesca. Braxton. To say my son’s name. Now that’s a fitting end, Lu. To take a life is to destroy the world entire. Better worlds… never, other, alternative. Words to speak before… Virgil, These Endings B…

881 Days Without B III, Day 322 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“1st of The Month… well no. I can read. But no matter how much I read, I’m not getting any smarter. Or more loving. Uh, I forgot Virgil’s name again. And without Braxton. And as I try to avoid boobs. What’s my motivation? B That Motivation Virgil

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I don’t ask Virgil for anything. Hell! You owe him a bath, clean sheets, new stuff…

For starters? It would help if you focused on getting Virgil Vivi’s name right. (Sigh), only yesterday, I went out for what; twenty minutes? And I came back talking, “Just me, Baby B!” So, um, yeah, that was on me. But you? Once more, you’ve had a morning in tears. They were all for Braxton. And isn’t that what today is about? Hmm. The idea of you waking up with meaning. To live for but a moment. How about with any motivation at all? What is your purpose to exist? Well, other than the hope that you won’t have to. You’re still breathing; here. Damn. Even when you’re up at a decent hour… 6:00 when it should have been 4:00. But it should have been me doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Braxton should be alive. Here you are, 875 days without him. That one thought above all others. Nobody understands. To be his old man, his father, his daddy. Stay Alive. What is this, The Hunger Games? If you didn’t start the day crying over your dead fur baby, it’s hunger. Hell! Not even that. It’s cash. Not on your belly or the boy. Um, boobs? That’s what disgusts me and you. Oh no! Let it be no misunderstanding. You love boobs, tits, fun bags, dirty pillows, jugs, and “Big Uns.” And you usually don’t consider yourself an ass man. There’s been that one brunette with what Andrew Davidson would call a “lemming ass.” If only you would follow knowledge like that. Or Six Impossible Things:

“She had what I’d call a lemming ass – that is, an ass that you would follow right over the edge of the cliff.” ― from Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because despite how many books you read. Twenty-five if you finish out the week. Are you getting any wiser? You wish you could be to the likes of Michael Seebach, better known as Schwarzwald. To see the truth of things, to know. Exist, Live! Today? As you do in your writing? Not this. These conversations are trash. No question. And yet you’ll have many more because you checked your Day Job schedule. You were only making room for more titty pictures. As Trump would say, “Sad.” GOP ideas? You see, the world is going to Hell every day. But you are not motivated to save it. If only you had the life of these reactors, influencers, a billionaire. Or Braxton back. B That Motivation Virgil

875 Days Without B III, Day 316 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Busy as a bee? How I’d have killed for a B back in school. Hell! A D was good enough to not get my behind whipped by my father; his birthday is today. So I’ll be busy with one text. And then there was my son Braxton. “B’s Accomplish Much Virgil”

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve… Um, excuse me, my employees accomplish much. What am I good at, Lunalesca?

Well, considering I should have been up at 4:00 AM. I was awake near 7:00 AM. Virgil, or more so Braxton, should go out at 8:00 AM. And it’s now 8:15 AM… excuse me, Lunalesca. Okay, I’m back. As the song goes, “Welcome to My Life.” Well, my existence, Lunalesca. That’s another one for my B III playlist. Such are my accomplishments, like life goals. Everything I want is inane, insane, impossible, or illegal (possibly). And now add imaginary too. But seeing how I’ve gotten out of bed… (Slow clap) … Busy as a bee, I am not, Lady Lunalesca. But if you told me, I could have my son back? Or there are boobies. Again, why was I up so late and then awake?

As much as I pride myself on being one of those who prescribes to STAY WOKE. What has that accomplished? Evil prevails when good men do nothing. But the truth is evil prevails. I got that from Lord of War. And while I’m going on about movies. Yeah, like that’s an accomplishment, going on about film quotes. Like, be good? And if you can’t be good, don’t get caught. That is something out of The 5th Wave, Lunalesca. I believe. You’re wondering what brought all of this on today. Can you let me know, Lunalesca? Yesterday I was talking about all these people on social media. Accomplishing life itself. And then there are the people I know. There’s Virgil up in Braxton’s room. He’s scared.

Like me? Hell! To put one foot in front of the other? Will he take a step outside? And it’s not like coming back in is any better. And he’s all fidgety and itchy. He is not my son, Lu. But is that something I should endeavor to do? Could I love 2V as I love B III every day? It’s been 315 days, Lunalesca. Love can’t tell time. And that’s from Our Family Wedding. Did I have to mention something like that after everything I learned this week? Can’t I focus on my thumbnail, and I don’t mean my picture? The Pic Phenomenon? Lunalesca, can I not be sick… get some sleep and not sin? Busy B, a grade B? B’s Accomplish Much Virgil

874 Days Without B III, Day 315 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want this Father’s Day? I’m not a dad? I ain’t got a wife. Braxton’s been gone for 868 days. And am I counting 2V? Not like he could get me a new computer. And as far as my Old Man. I’m not looking forward to texting. “Father, I B, V.”

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that beat getting a good night’s sleep? Being a good man. A father. Like Hell!

The highlight of this week so far… well, was just before midnight. So this is all on me, I guess. Literally! I was beating off to pics of a brunette’s ass. It was her flowy white dress getting me going. “Mawage.” Doesn’t that come before everything else? You didn’t say that, did you? Speaking of things you don’t want to say today. Happy Father’s Day! Your son is dead. Are you coming? Not now? In the last twenty-two minutes… You’ve been staring at that brunette’s ass again and looking up Lulu Chu Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? And Mishell Lee from LOAN4K. If you looked up gifts the way you do porn. Your father should get a present considering the son you are. Right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dogging Slut (BDSM Erotica) Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Again speaking of Impossible Things… Give Braxton his life back. Or make one for Virgil. I swear you have “foot in mouth” disease today. And you need a foot in your ass, to be honest. How many steps did you walk from the bed to the bathroom and back today? You weren’t sick. It was where I set the alarm. I thought it might; I don’t know. DO SOMETHING! Who are you, “John Q?” You’re Will B. Not that it means a damn thing, hmm? You can’t even call yourself a man. And no, that’s not you being all political or some gender mess. Titties! What did Clopin sing, “What makes a monster and what makes a man?” Well, answer. Even when Braxton was here, you had, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you know something. I believe I was better. Is that a confession, consolation, or plain confusion about what it means to be? What about what you mean to B? You are his dad. And again, there is always Virgil Vivi. More like 309 days and counting, you believe. Please, not to be all Alanis Morissette but “You, you, you oughta know.” Because that is what a man does. A father, a daddy. And today is your day. Is it not? But to celebrate? Trust me… which is what all politicians say, sigh. You are in no mood. Virgil is here. And Braxton, in spirit. Suppose you aren’t too busy trying to make Virgil him. Do I believe in you? “SIGH.” Father, I B, V

868 Days Without B III, Day 309 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 351 ~Braxton And Virgil, Lineup~

WillLeave a comment

Once, I ended up in juvenile detention for a week. A long time before I met Braxton. I’ve only had run-ins with the police twice when he was alive. And then, when I committed my greatest crime, his death. There was nothing. Braxton And Virgil, Lineup

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Saga 351 ~Braxton And Virgil, Lineup~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So like Charlotte Flair, this means I’ll need some help finding the back of the line.

Lady Lunalesca, shopping at Walmart is a humbling experience. However, that’s not what I was thinking yesterday. It was more to the point of, “Is It A Crime,” I don’t have a life like Jacob Ralston’s? I listen to Succubus Lord. Eat pepper dogs and onion rings. Oh, and I bought a new power cord. Lady Lunalesca considering all this… I have a good life. Hell! I’m lucky I’m not doing life, or am I? All I know is I don’t want to wake up. And why is that? What am I going to do? Give you a list, a few more lines, losing Braxton? How much is too much pain? What about pleasure? And there’s always FEAR of the penal variety. Walmart has that.

Though nobody is going to lock me up, Lunalesca. Not for what happened to Braxton. Even if I think a punishment is warranted. Did I say that? But what am I going to do about it? I bought more soup but not cranberry juice, Sprite, more vitamins or meds, ok Lu. I got the last box of Braxton’s favorite treats, though. As I put the box in his room, I looked down at V, noticing again. He is not my B. But then I wondered how I might help him “find himself.” Haven’t I given up on the whole reincarnation bit Lady Luna? Tell that to serial killers. But you know my crime of choice. I swear the things done with Bitcoin these days. Ever?

“The dark side of the Force (Bitcoin) is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.” Chancellor Palpatine

The world would be better off without… Well, I can go a few places with that. And none of them are good. But you know what I mean. Me, me, me! I’ve said, “This Is America.” So I’ll end up in some lineup. Or I’ll be a line in a banned book. That’s lucky. Inevitable? I thought that once when Braxton was still here, Lunalesca. I’d either leave him before it was time, or I would be a success. I would have a wife, and he’d be stuck with siblings. And now it all comes back to money. The cash spent perpetrating The Pic Phenomenon. The line into Hell must be so much longer. Everyone’s headed there. Heaven? Braxton. Virgil, someday… Braxton And Virgil, Lineup

867 Days Without B III, Day 308 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t had any medical coverage since I was 26. My Ma always told me I didn’t make it a habit of getting sick. Cut to Braxton’s passing, wearing my earphones too often, and Pizza Hut food poisoning. And what about addictions? To B Recovered Virgil

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even with that, you can’t stop death. But you can damn well try. But you… sigh.

Besides telling you, yet again, that you woke up to a world without B in it. Ain’t that a bitch. Hell! Some wounds are never going to heal. So what did you expect right now? Today is always for lists, and here you are five days in. I should have cursed out Pizza Hut, to be honest. Not that you can blame them over the bum ear. I swear, punishment. Wednesday, I was an effing fire hydrant… Eww! Uh, that was way too much information. Thursday, I was weak, and it felt like bombs were going in my stomach. Retribution? Friday, I was only being punched in the stomach. But I endured and survived. Whatever. And Saturday was a breathable pain, but I got chills.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can’t focus on anything but the pain. It seems like. The same as you. God, how I miss B. Because your pain wouldn’t matter when it came to his, do you remember that? Hmm? Or how about the other little one who now rests at the foot of the bed? I don’t mean the little head. Today is not the day for this. You feel pretty effing horrible. Let’s be clear, though. We’re talking about Virgil, who I barely saw yesterday. Do you think that he knows? Is that why he seems to be reverting to his earlier days? When being Dad again? No! Even now, he’s not your son. But what is he? Not Braxton resurrected. Was he rescued? Is he recovering too?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Kindle Challenge) etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I forgot Six Impossible Things but what about you? You don’t have much hope for yourself. Ok so this very second 7:37:27, 28, 29… This right here, right now, is your effing existence. Congratulations! It’s as good as it gets. You are sitting in bed breathing. Bouncing? I effed that up. Between Jill Kassidy saying, “I want you to fuck me.” And my favorite English girl’s melons. What am I, a DJ of pornography? Pathetic, perverted… Only all you want is not to be redeemed but recovered from everything. Good Luck! Braxton isn’t coming back. And Virgil? He needs to go outside. Are you getting up? Remains to be seen. Between puking, painkillers, and porn? None of that brings you back. To B Recovered Virgil

861 Days Without B III, Day 302 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 344 ~Virgil Learns B Rules~

WillLeave a comment

There are rules I’ve forgotten. I would go to Petsmart every Saturday looking for Braxton, and I got Virgil now… Somebody should tell Pizza Hut it’s a general rule not to poison people. And doesn’t the law apply to the GOP? Virgil Learns B Rules

Saturday, June 10, 2023

Saga 344 ~Virgil Learns B Rules~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how. I ain’t that smart. I don’t want to be a GOP grifter. I would…

But the point is this. I don’t want to. And at least I own up to it. Evil, wicked, depraved. No? If anything, I’m only a man who stood in the kitchen yesterday thinking of rules, Lady Lunalesca. Why don’t I think about the yearlong list I made that I don’t follow? I could blame being “Down With The Sickness” for three days. Am I ok now, Lady Lu, hmm? Don’t count your chickens… And I could go for some waffles right now. But budgeting? We’ll get to that. Here’s something on rules, though. The rules I bend… break… effing throw under the bus. These are rules I don’t intend to hurt anybody with. Pain, Lunalesca. With my knowledge, I don’t want to do that.

Ironic that I’m a sadist. Hardcore hurt and humiliation always get me hot and horny. Lunalesca, do whatever you want but don’t hurt anyone. Unless it’s safe, sane, and consensual. Do you remember when I was all into BDSM? I still am but this sickness. Lunalesca, I think, in a way, it’s a gift from Braxton. That’s not in the rules when you lose a fur baby. But when were Braxton and I ever for rules? And three days? Stomach pain? Lunalesca, I know I have been pretty effed over the rules I’ve broken. However, I haven’t worried at all in the past few days. I’ve been busy with my head in a toilet and holding “my” stomach. Didn’t I say Virgil hasn’t been helping?

Again that’s pretty mean of me. Hell! I put him at the foot of the bed instead of my side. Yet I can be worse. That is if I were a card-carrying member of the GOP. Be a racist, homophobic Nazi all you like. Only don’t be in charge. Yeah, right, Lady Lunalesca, ha. You know my views on charity. I think it’s dumb that I’m asked to give when you have people with billions. That could alleviate every problem I should contribute towards. Lunalesca, I should not base my giving as though I’m living a Street Blowjobs episode. And I should respect my budget. And what Braxton and Virgil need. Plus, I’m healing… So, I’m hungry. There’s Virgil to raise. Virgil Learns B Rules

860 Days Without B III, Day 301 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Deals with the devil? A wish from a genie? Getting in bed with the GOP (shudders). The best thing I had going was with B III. I asked him to be good, and I promised I’d be back. Uh, and I ended up being his terminator. The past? Please, B Good Virgil

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hell! You won’t be this week… a Billionaire, I mean. But, like me, you’ll be wearing hoodies.

You’re the last one who should be talking about wearing anything. Life last week… disgusting. Depressing, Deviant… Is the word DUMB better than STUPID? Whatever. Dog! As in, the dog needs you. Virgil aka Virgil Vivi, aka 2V and not 2B. Ah, that name, ha. First, there’s 2B as in YoRHa No. 2 Type B from Nier: Automata. Rather pornography… Second, as you’ve seen this morning, 2V is not a second Braxton. B resurrected? Never! Did you want to cry today? It’s better out of sadness than the disgust I’ve been feeling again. Didn’t I say something to the tune of, “Guilt before we act is called morality.” Thank 2012’s Liberal Arts. Because what has Virgil done, hmm? What have I done? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not in the slightest. I’m not a good “man.” I’m not a good… anything. And what about you today? You’re nine hours into the new week. And you can already tell you’ve failed two, three, five, and six. You keep looking at such and such, and you’ll fail four. Existence? You don’t want a good existence but a good life, and how do you start that? Don’t look at me! But isn’t that what today is all about? Braxton was/is so much better. There’s bucks. No, there isn’t because you wouldn’t be starving. And there are way too many boobs. Last week it was all about me whispering, “Please be good.” Saying that to whomever. But it wasn’t a good thing: Only Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Please be good. How long have I had the same damn list? Short of the books changing now and again. Is Vampire Academy good? Eff me! Is there goodness? Seeing as how history is being erased. Perhaps Anne Frank’s words will echo forever. “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Braxton, Virgil? They ain’t people, but I believe in their goodness. Okay, I’m iffy, considering Virgil’s. Meditating. You’ll do that every night (sigh). But last night, during the Loving-Kindness lesson. It was all about wishing something good for someone else. There’s also hoping for something good for yourself. But like me… What would you want for yourself and everyone? You’d never… bad words, right? Please, B Good Virgil.

854 Days Without B III, Day 295 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

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“What we’ve done, we’ve done.” “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.” TWD. I said I’d never be afraid again. I went to the Day Job. I’d never be a Dad again. 2V’s on the stairs. Boobs. Uh, am I awake? What’s Past B, Virgil?

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Saga 337 ~What’s Past B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Should I give up being a trillionaire? As much as I should, seeing Braxton alive again.

I can’t! Not in this existence, at least. Or, as Tupac put it, “Bury me in pieces cause they fear reincarnation.” That’s what I need today (sigh). To see Braxton’s ashes. Uh, that’s a no. I’ve said before, Lady Lunalesca. Anytime I’m afraid, awkward, or just being asinine. I need only think of my “Lost Boy,” and everything pales compared to my worst crime. It’s like when I’m meditating, and they say, focus on your breath. Lunalesca, that’s B III. Braxton wasn’t here a few minutes ago… Please! Of course, he was. Lunalesca, I know. Hell! I could hear him grumbling as I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off ha-ha. Fear is something I can never leave in the past, Lunalesca.

And you know I’m trying, but then as the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis and…” Hell! I might as well bust out Sade’s “Is It a Crime?” Lunalesca? Yeah. Yesterday it was the Day Job because, of course, it is. It’s like being a little boy or back in high school and busting my balls. Pretty much The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and The Cherry Collision. That’s my STUPIDITY —confessions for Inspector Echo, Lunalesca. FEAR makes me STUPID. Strong, Speedy, Sexual… wait? We’re not talking about my first time, are we? Sick, Savage, but Salvation bound… screaming, oh my God. Okay, I’ll stop. That’s in the past. And instead of the first or last time, I had some “relations….” Yesterday?

There was my fear. And you know how I get over that. Effing! Or at least dreaming, imagining, envisioning, so I can’t forget about The Pic Phenomenon. That’s the past? Lunalesca, try this morning. How I miss my puppy. And what about Virgil, Lady Lu?

Anyway, there are all the pictures… porno. Because I can’t make a gallery for Braxton. And I only want to show that Virgil is alive daily. Lunalesca, Pornography? Something I can’t leave in the past… My feet are still planted in the veterinarian’s office. Lunalesca, my existence should be in the past, along with Braxton’s. But here I am. I’m panicking over a smartphone, spending money, and seeing plenty of Yabbos. It’s Saturday morning. The Past? What’s Past B, Virgil?

853 Days Without B III, Day 294 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will