Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

What motivates and inspires me? Virgil needs to eat. So did Braxton? In the places I go, I don’t need invitations. But I’m not motivated to be there. It’s The Bare Necessities. So they say. But to have all I want… Motivation Is Merely The Invitation.

Monday, October 9, 2023

Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

Three-Hundredth And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… So, of course, my primary motivation is more money and cruelty against my fellow man. That so?

Is that a threat? Consider it an invitation… If I could remember where I first heard this, Madam. But isn’t that why we’re here today? Well, Saturday, October 7, 2023. Because, much like last week, this one is going to suck. So why show up if I’m this unhappy, hmm? Braxton needs to eat. Well, not anymore since I failed him. What I meant to say is Virgil needs food. How’s that for motivation? As I was telling Lady Lu this morning, keeping 2V safe. First, there was a possum. And this morning, a black cat was staring. GULP! I needed to get up and go. The story of my existence, “Run Boy Run.” And am I running from or towards? Regardless, there’s always FEAR…

And that shouldn’t serve as motivation. An invitation to be courageous? Thou art courageous. If anything. After last week, I’d settle on this. Don’t be dumb. I am trying, ha. Ignorance kills! And if I don’t have a heart attack. Or crumble with my FEAR. Ignorance will be the culprit. And every day… I swear! Even now, I’m mad about my shattered reading record with Braxton. A memory is gone. But I read, always and forever. Whatever! Five Hundred and Forty-Two days, I see. It’s not like I’m getting less ignorant. Everything I read is punishing myself over Braxton or something to do with Boo… No! I’m not talking about Halloween. And then there are Kindle Challenges and other books. An invitation to avoid Ignorance…

Well, I could stop looking up… “other” forms of entertainment. That is if you’re wondering why this conversation is taking so long. I want to get more sleep this week. But more to the point, I can’t help what I want. My greatest sin… Well, the second. My first is Treachery. I wasn’t motivated to do much of nothing with B’s death. It’s all my fault. Afterwards though? I can find anything when it comes to some girl. Japanese, Chinese, Russian… I would have done much better in some language classes. But what do I know? FEAR, Ignorance, and Lust. And with enough money and power. Am I Motivated enough? I got up, rushing around for an iPad. Existence, Life? Motivation Is Merely The Invitation

981 Days Without B III, Day 422 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 099 ~Virgil, Won’t B Unknown~

Into the unknown? I’m hoping that’s where I’ll find my boy. Today or a week from now, I have no clue. Then again, I know where I’ll be. And it sucks! Looking into the mirror every day. Ah! Has Virgil seen himself in a mirror? Virgil, Won’t B Unknown.

Sunday, October 8, 2023

Tale 099 ~Virgil, Won’t B Unknown~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And didn’t we speak only a few hours ago? It’s Sunday, October 1, 2023. So, bad vibes…

But it’s like this every Sunday. It’s knowing the workweek is about to begin. It’s getting a text or, worse, a phone call from “The Olds.” It’s walking down the aisle of PetSmart, trying to catch your breath. And why is that? You carried Braxton to his death right there. The things you know and remember. But this week, much like 2V… You know nothing! It makes our talk different and special, and you dare think good? A week, not existing. If you’re lucky, it won’t have to. The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had. Mad World? You wonder what Virgil dreams about. No fur baby dreams of death, right? But he has pictures and howling. Facebook and the neighbors know. You? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2 (OR) Another Title
    Unknown
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Unknown
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Unknown
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Unknown (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Unknown
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Unknown

And as you thought, this week is unique because you don’t know if any of these things got done. But if we stick with current trends… One yes and five no. You rather not know. What would I do if I were in your shoes? Hello, Man In The Mirror. I would see myself… HAPPY. Gasp! Now, all you want to do is disappear. Virgil sees you, not like Braxton. But he does, and people know, at least when you’re walking out the door. Leaving. Praying? If you ever talked to GOD again. But it would be the same thing. To let you trade places with Braxton. Spare him and take you. Because, like you said, there are bad vibes today. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2 (OR) Another Title
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So I can’t give you any advice. Not that you would listen anyway. Or try to understand it ever. Like these motivational speeches, keep talking about magic wands, miracles, and must. What must you do while you sit in bed with 3 Doors Down’s ” If I Could Be Like That.” Dead? Do you remember when you were scared to talk like this? Intrusive thoughts? If you want to lay anywhere. Let it be in the pages of some book you have written. You’ve been seeing a lot from “mosttalentedbaldman” Johnny Sins. You can lay in bed or anywhere else. With some pretty girl, heh-heh. That’s going out with a bang. Don’t you think? But you’re no father, writer, or boss. Virgil, Won’t B Unknown

980 Days Without B III, Day 421 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

“Cause it hurts when you hurt somebody.” And I don’t want to do that… That’s a lie. When it comes to certain people, pain is fun. But I never wanted to hurt B III, 2V, or scar people. And how’s that working out. Chicks dig scars? No Scar Is The Same.

Monday, October 2, 2023

Tale 093 ~No Scar Is The Same~

Three-Hundredth And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… This means I must always be hurting somebody. And yet, I’ll play the victim. But these scars…

Heart, Mind, Body, And Soul. I want to say I don’t have a heart. But a lie against B? Madam, I remember when they told me B had a Heart Murmur. I have his medications. And twice every day… at least once (sniffles), I call him for “Medicine Time.” But in the end, it was his kidneys that failed. I failed Braxton, my son, prince. Hell! The littlest God, Madam. And talk about not being healed or leaving a scar. A broken heart, 974 Days. Well, by the time you read this, anyway. I’m way in the past. With Time Travel, it’s Sunday, September 24, 2023. Still in the month of E-Day. Oh! You know we’re going to talk about that. And thirty-nine still sucks.

My head hurts. But the only scars I ever hear about came from my sister when she cut my forehead. Or whichever poor lady cuts my hair. As I don’t take care of myself, sigh. The real damage is my mind, though. Have you noticed how I talk to myself? Hell! The fact that I do talk to myself at all. And about what? How Republicans scar us all daily. My body, though. I’ve noticed… yeah I still have The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident tag. There’s also the memory of The Cherry Collision. What do I have in the closet, along with every outfit for potential partners? I call myself as a sadist. But I’m just a sucker for pain. And what about my soul?

Without Braxton’s death and the ninth circle, I’d be headed for the second with my LUST. This blog, The Pic Phenomenon, character customizations, lingerie purchases…

My poor Ma… from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped. A scar I’m sure she bares. Madam, that’s something I wish I could heal. Again, we’ve moved beyond E-Day for another year, but if I had my way… All I’ve ever done is cause her pain; I know it. Hmm. Then there’s my son, my granddad’s funeral, the fur baby I adopted. Virgil doesn’t cry… Not until I leave the house anyway. And for now, he must be bored out of his mind, poor guy. Me? Besides billionaire status, I’m worried and pained. So many scars… No Scar Is The Same

974 Days Without B III, Day 415 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 092 ~That’ll B What, Virgil~

I haven’t seen Fight Club in forever. But there’s always time to listen to Motivations. And while I disagree with their idea of Hell… That was watching my son die. Heaven is seeing the person you want to be in the mirror. “That’s B What, Virgil”

Sunday, October 1, 2023

Tale 092 ~That’ll B What, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… You’re really trying these new intros, aren’t you? Should you get a poster of Tyler Durden? Affordable?

You wouldn’t know. No. Yesterday, I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to eat or not. Yeah, you have the “Fight Club” concept on the brain. Your head, sigh. All you have to do is think about this as if it were Braxton’s death again. Doing that again? There was no line when it came to putting Triple B in a box. Price was irrelevant with dying. Another reason you’re so in love with it. The cost of living gets under your skin like a virus. You are one of The Walking Dead and all. No wonder Virgil is terrified. Ghostly fur babies and zombies. Tis the season for that sort of a thing. But never for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel (For Kindle)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Now, what would I’ve done better last week? Or I could ask this. “If I Were A Rich Man?” Seeing as how you’re trying something different. It would help if you even wanted to remember last week. Or is it all the days that are blending together, leading nowhere? Let’s start with the Six Impossible Things. One was taken care of. Congratulations! That’s according to both Goodreads and Kindle. Two should have been done years ago. I have time to focus on the ladies’ “assets.” You need to honor Braxton. Hell! Virgil, too Hmm! Three? Again, I have the time, but you must enjoy working your horrible Day Job. Now, with Four? What made you break your streak? Dirty fantasies you wrote down someplace. You weren’t focusing on your book. And Five and Six fold right back into Two. Braxton… Honor him. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2 (OR) Another Title
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Once again, what would I have done differently? Those motivational speeches say that wealthy people read. Were there no Republicans back then? I’m rich… and I don’t go around banning soon-to-be-burning books. I write them. Some for B III. And the others… If I’m not being Eric Vall, Logan Jacobs, Neil Bimbeau, or Imogen Linn. I’m living. Existing for now seems to be enough for you. But having a woman, feeling something. The fact that I can make Braxton and Virgil proud. The confidence, courage, and cost. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day. But for me? A Lovely Day. That’ll B What, Virgil

973 Days Without B III, Day 414 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

I had a “phase” when I asked God to save me. There were those days I asked God to save B. Like the song goes, He’s My Son. And what about saving myself? “I’m the bad guy, duh.” I need saving from the radio. Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving.

Monday, September 25, 2023

Tale 086 ~Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving~

Three-Hundredth And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so say it with me… You’re No Hero! I’m far from it. But Ma’am, I know one.

Okay… a few more. But I, as always, want to talk about my son, who was/is my hero. B. Be my hero… get it? Yeah, I’ve never been one for comedy as I’m not one to be brave ha. The comedian and caped crusader are dead. I wish I could add my cowardice, Madam. But no. My courage died alongside my son. And what about Virgil? He ain’t Braxton. Madam, my son was/is a big, brave dog… in spirit. What drew me to Virgil was the fact that I saw fear. I am my father’s son and don’t want to be um… scary. I mean, both Virgil and I are afraid to exist. But I saved him. What does that make me? A big hero, Ma’am. Ain’t we just. Firefly?

In case you were wondering where that bit of diatribe came from. Plus, censorship. Critics. One more reason I ain’t a hero and more like a Republican. Won’t I defend free speech? There’s plenty of which I should be fighting for every day. “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving,” the song says. That’s why we need heroes and champions. I need my son. But when he needed me? Virgil needs me? A hero born and one in the making. What does it take, Madam? Daddies are heroes, or they should be. But with V. Hell, with existence in general? “Wish I’d been a prom KING, fighting for the title,” I swear this pop culture.

Because today, I would instead pay off a villain and possible racist in Logan Jacobs. Speaking with Lady Sophia this morning, I said I needed more audiobooks. Am I Wrong? This Is America. So that means, in one way or another, I’m paying off a racist somewhere down the line. And while I’m no Republican or one to stick to the status quo… yeah, right. I want to play the villain. Or should I say antihero, depending on your definition? I could say I’m giving myself too much credit since all I want, I’d do right here in bed. Madam, I want to write books, run a brothel, and make “specific” movies. Sheets become capes? For Braxton, myself, a wife? Sometimes, Heroes Will Require Saving

967 Days Without B III, Day 408 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 085 ~I’d B Worried, Virgil~

Some people worry that their next breath will be their last. I worry “my” next breath ain’t. Don’t I sound like an ungrateful so-and-so? And I worry too much, from fur kids to books, where’s all the money going. And me? I’d B Worried, Virgil

Sunday, September 24, 2023

Tale 085 ~I’d B Worried, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means my only concerns are making more money and who to hurt next. So poor you.

In spirit, simoleons, Stuff and Thangs, etcetera. Tears are the only thing there’s plenty of. It’s not even 5:30 a.m. yet. And you’ve already been crying. And not over Braxton? Well, he’s always had something to do with it. And Sunday was never your favorite day. Every day that ends in Y. That’s existence for ya. And then you ask what’s wrong with V, huh? That’s something he has in common with Braxton. He feels what you feel… Do Better. Get Well? Or, as the kids would say, Get Good. “Life’s a game for everyone.” But no, you still don’t believe love is a prize. That should be a gift. And as much as you hate E-Day, what did you get? Uh, Six Impossible Things?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising (OR) Any Other Title
    Completed “Revelation (Pessumae Christi),” Imogen Linn
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 058 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And at least four of them you’ve owned forever. Like the books, you ain’t reading. Speaking of books, you must finish “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” Or what? Amazon will come and get you? Billionaires hurt people, am I right? But it’s not people you’re interested in hurting… Sadist, though you are. No, it’s Braxton. Hell! He’s still dead. But in remembering his death and reading about other fur babies. Which all the books say you shouldn’t do. Somehow, it keeps you awake and alive. You’ve only begun this week, and you feel dead inside as I did. And not because of E-Day or the vampires. I’d B worry that the day and books hold sway over you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel (For Kindle)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Oh, you know they don’t. But I was working outside yesterday and again thinking about all the books you have yet to read. Hometown Hero (The Breeder Book 1), Witch Girl Study Group: The Complete Series, Backyard Dungeon 2: A Reverse Portal Fantasy, etcetera. Sensing a pattern. You’ll have to ask Braxton about quitting fur baby books. What about the fence that could fall down any day now? And you’re money situation. Then there’s the Day Job. And did the pants I bought yesterday even fit you? You know the real worries? Are you forgetting your son Braxton, the freeloader Virgil Vivi? Turning into a Republican trying to turn off the world. And to sleep forever. Dangerous Thoughts. But so’s Existence. I’d B Worried, Virgil

966 Days Without B III, Day 407 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

I’ve kept V alive for 401 days. B had 15 years. Now, what made B happy? Comfy spots, cuddling with his Aunt’s Yabbos, and counting the minutes until his Dad arrived home. I survived 15 E-Days with him. But Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings.

Monday, September 18, 2023

Tale 079 ~Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings~

Three-Hundredth And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But I have seen that billionaires are the cringiest, crabbiest, and crappiest people. They don’t die. Submarine…

So does that mean I want to be happy? Today, Sunday, September 17, 2023, I long to die, Madam. It will be no different by the time you read this. But “Love and Happiness,” huh? Love died with my little boy, my Braxton. And Happiness? The seventh E-Day. I think. I survived that one and the thirty-ninth, too. Somehow, someway, I’m surviving. But for what? As I told Lady Lunalesca yesterday. Pop culture has been bouncing around inside my head. “My” Existence is a mix of 2009’s The Road, Half-Life 2, 1984, and Equilibrium. Sigh. As the song plays, “I keep asking God what I’m for. And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure,” sigh. I’m doing a lot of that, Madam. I’m still breathing.

So, shouldn’t I show some gratitude? That’s not one of the meditations I’ve done today. And I got enough gratitude with those motivational speeches I once played daily. Ha-ha! From wanting to move forward in this existence. To seek only the will to endure. Endure and Survive? But don’t plan on being happy for the love of everything, Madam. Hell! I love Braxton like pancakes, but he didn’t make me happy. I was/am proud of him, Madam. I was a Papa. I pounded the pavement of this existence. That’s because I promised him that I would keep him safe. And here I go, crying again because how’d that turn out? Madam, with all the stories I tell myself. Braxton didn’t die happy. Brave, proud, loved…

But Happy… That’s a question I don’t ask the Man in the Mirror anymore. I don’t ask how to survive either, to be fair. It’s what I do? It’s like that fable “The Scorpion and the Frog.” But neither of them survived? One more reason I’m so “in love with dyin’,” as it were. “We are The Walking Dead,” “We are the Dead,” and that’s how it is, Madam. Life, Living, Love? No! Every day, I rise from the dead. And I move like everyone else towards… I don’t know. But zombies, the infected, and the stupid. Viruses Madam. Stupidity has infected me. And the cure? One day, I’ll find out, Madam, if I survive. Do I want to? Knowing Survival Doesn’t Promise Happy Endings

960 Days Without B III, Day 401 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 078 ~Virgil Gives Up B~

400 days, and V’s still here. B was here for 15 years, and he never gave up. No. I gave up on him when I saw how hard he was fighting. I wish I had such fight in me. To do what? Making the world a better place? Giving Virgil a home? Virgil Gives Up B

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Tale 078 ~Virgil Gives Up B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now… but you’re not. Want to know how I know besides the obvious? You, Help, Hide, And Hope.

Who are you, the freaking FBI? You know, with the whole Run, Hide, Or Fight script. I swear you could go on for days about not living in a sane country. But staying in bed… Well, that’s a luxury you don’t have. So you might as well live it up for the next forty-five minutes. Hmm… Yeah, help yourself to The Pic Phenomenon and another dirty book. You can keep spending the money you don’t have. It was not an issue when I was trying to save Braxton’s life. I failed. And for the past few days, you’ve been trying to think of things to make the freeloader… Virgil’s life a little better. A big payday? Uh, This is America! Help yourself… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising (OR) Any Other Title
    Completed “Initiation (Pessumae Christi),” Imogen Linn
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can’t hide from the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing. Neither will you. “Crime, it’s the way I fly to you,” as the song goes. And here you thought that breaking the law was supposed to make you smarter… It works that way in all the superhero flicks. But, “This ain’t no place for no hero to call home.” And you’re no hero. Never a Smooth Criminal. You’re bitcoin, temporary emails, one-time use debit cards. Hell! You’re starting to think criminals don’t want your business. And as far as being a big dog, a boss hog, yourself? No! You don’t take people’s money from ATMs. You make sure Virgil has food in Braxton’s bowl. Sigh. Buy him something. Do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising (OR) Any Other Title
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

This week, you will give up as I did the last one. Has Virgil given up? I hope not. Because as you are on your pop culture rant. Didn’t 2009’s “The Road” say something about dreaming of bad things? And it means you’re “existing” and fighting. My dreams sigh. No wonder you were up at a somewhat reasonable hour, 5:00 a.m. And again, what did you do with those two hours? You hoped you could look at some Yabbos and finish reading about a nun hooking up with five priests -as if that’d make you a little less dumb. Braxton knew there was no helping you. Virgil dreams of a place called home. Is that what Virgil howls to B about? Virgil Gives Up B

959 Days Without B III, Day 400 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 072 ~ We’re Allowed To Make Mistakes~

And, what mistakes have I made today with it being E-Day Week as I write Sept 3-9. I got out of bed, but that was to save VV. I couldn’t save B III. I think the world will exist on Monday. I’ll be hopped up on sugar? “We’re Allowed To Make Mistakes.”

Monday, September 11, 2023

Tale 072 ~ We’re Allowed To Make Mistakes~

Three-Hundredth And Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which probably means I made the mistake of becoming a Republican. There’s birth… E-days, boobs, killing Braxton…

This got dark. And you know I can go darker. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention 9/11 because I am a “Real American.” I “love” “my” country despite how it was born. And Madam, you know all this week… excuse me, AHEM last week, I was all about birth (sigh). Today is Friday, September 8, 2023. So you can guess how today is going with time travel. If anything, I want to go back 39 years to the first E-Day —my Ma’s mistake. Six years later, she made the right choice with my sister on the eighth. Happy Birthday, Little Sister! As I was saying 39 years ago, my Ma, the doctors… “Someone made a BIG uh mistake! And that was me.

“It’s me. Hi! I’m the problem, it’s me.” Now, I don’t blame her. And as with this rule, We’re Allowed To Make Mistakes. The Olds are supposed to make sons into men. I could tell you all sorts of things about my old man… Anyway, I’m a monster, a murderer, and a mistake. And like most things in existence… how I hate E-Day. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know whether to ask forgiveness or permission. For what, being here? And B? I would ask him, but even with my love for apocalypses, virology, and zombies, Madam. I have yet to raise the dead. Well, I do that every day, don’t I, Madam, getting out of bed. “How To Save A Life?”

I’m still thinking about when he fell, and I rushed to get to him. Madam, I can’t help but feel that his being here is a mistake. But he’s here now. He’s not my son, but what I felt in those few moments when he hit the floor… It wasn’t love. Madam, that’s a mistake. Honestly, Madam, “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again.” That includes fur babies, fun toys (laughs), and females. Lust is a mistake, too, but how many times have I broken? Even after B died, it took 161 days. And what have I been looking up when I wasn’t napping? “The Pic Phenomenon?” And other mistakes that destroy us? In Time. Choices, freedom, mistakes, Madam. To Exist? We’re Allowed To Make Mistakes.

953 Days Without B III, Day 394 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 071 ~Sins To B, Virgil~

Is It a Crime to be blunt, brokenhearted, and a bit…? It’d be a sin to lie in bed all day and listen to Sade. Should have done that on E-Day. With this week, what “bad” things have I done already. E-Day. I was born; that’s enough. “Sins To B, Virgil”

Sunday, September 10, 2023

Tale 071 ~Sins To B, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I can hurt people as I sleep. Huh! Something we have in common. You hurt.

Keeping in mind that spirit of “Eff the critic.” You woke up around 6:30 a.m., and aren’t you ashamed? Anyway, here you are already wishing that you didn’t. There’s so much to do. And even if you got back into that “Waking Up at 4:00 a.m. Every Day Will Change Your Life” mentality… Hell! What would you be doing with that kind of time, hmm? You’re looking at a whole other year now, days after E-Day. And what have you done that’s worth talking about? Last night, as I listened to a sleep meditation. And that’s another thing. To go from motivation to meditation. Either way, you’ll end up dead. Please! If you’re going to die anyway, do it expeditiously. But no. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing a Pet: Coping with the death of your beloved animal
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VERY “Lucky” Surviving This Thirty-Ninth E-Day, Welcome To Level 39
    Completed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But as I was saying. Saturday, I’m lying there late for bed… Do you look healthy, wealthy, or wise? Anyway, besides my “pretend that we’re dead” shtick. I imagined it was Braxton lying beside me and not Virgil. The only reason he didn’t find himself on the foot of the bed. Now, ain’t that a sin? You were thirty-six when Braxton died —and being thirty-nine? Should we bring up the fact that you still watch cartoons? Oh! Not those kinds. I started talking to Dear Future Wife yesterday. I mentioned Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku. You’ll inevitably waste time on that and other things. You remember your crimes. The sins I planned on committing last week had me researching USDT. Not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising (OR) Any Other Title
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You would be better served listing the sins you’ll commit this week. You’d win. Braxton? You’ll cry over him. You did that first thing. Your firstborn, you failed to save! Then there’s the lying, which you did right now. Before your sadness came… uh, boobs. There was a time when you did pay for one of those apps not to look at them, but then… And yes, you should save all your confessions for Inspector Echo, but sins are fast. Sometime today, you’ll either look up how to commit a crime or shell out dollars. Cryptocurrency, but what’s that make three? You’ll waste more time. Then, sleep too much. You might not say Virgil’s name all day. New week? Routinely wasted… Sins To B, Virgil

952 Days Without B III, Day 393 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will