Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Last week? Why I’m not a millionaire or billionaire… Every Day Is Exactly the Same. Wake up late, conversate, take a break, masturbate, life to fake, accept my fate, dream my mistakes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil.

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I think to myself I should state facts —Braxton’s dead. I’m wrong. I like blowjobs…

Hell is repetition. Whether what I say is the truth or a lie. Hell! Why not a little of both… Who am I now, Erwin Schrodinger? Lady Lunalesca, don’t look up Hell in the morning. So I say I’m a billionaire going on seven years now. Not always. But I don’t want to look it up. I’ll go back to searching for porn. I’ve been sitting here listening to Balance. Meditation runs amuck and all that. I can’t say that it’s been helping. And yet here we are, Lady Lunalesca. And why? I tell everyone how many days Braxton’s been gone. But how many days have I been meditating? Ninety-eight days, 115 hrs, and 59 mins at last count. And? “Insane in da membrane,” Lunalesca.

For Hell is the impossibility of reason, Lady Lunalesca. Do you remember when I was all in my motivational phase? The way I would burn through Spotify for inspiring words. Speaking of which, I don’t have enough money for audiobooks. I do, but you know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Yesterday I was talking about that 50/30/20 Rule. Money spent? Lunalesca, you don’t want to know. But plugging my ears to listen to people’s prattling. All because I don’t want to hear other people talking all day. Their insanity, madness. Then at the same time, I’ll complain that my ears are all stopped up with earwax. I know Lady Lunalesca; that’s some TMI, right? Braxton was so loud, but to hear my little boy B.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” They say one of the wisest men ever said that. So here I am, trying to be a dad again with V. At the onset of our conversations, Lady Lunalesca, I could be saying one more thing. Please! Not those mean words. “He’s not my son.” Again who am I, Lady Lunalesca? Looking into the mirror (eww), I have yet to become Joel Miller from The Last of Us. The world he lived in would drive anyone crazy. And yet he kept going. He tried, you know.

“You’re not my [son]. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Joel Miller, TLOU

But “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Even in Hell. Every one! Braxton, Virgil, even me. Fact or question to meditate on. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil

888 Days Without B III, Day 329 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

I’m crushing on one of the chicks in “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” When she told a few of her coworkers to shut their pie-holes about her cat. But I was so angry I went back to reading about the world’s end like losing a fur baby is. Virgil Has No B.

Friday, July 7, 2023

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not try to get off this godforsaken rock? Too busy getting off, aren’t I?

Heh-heh, Day One Ish… And yet 887 days without my son. Hell! If I were a better man, I’d go the same amount of days with my dick in my pants, my hands… whatever, Sophia. As you damn well know, I am not a good person. But how? Do you mean besides the death of my son B III? And there’s the fact that I can’t call Virgil that. Some say that makes me “normal,” not referring to a dog as my child. I couldn’t read “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” No worries… (which I haven’t said in a “long, long time”); I will sometime soon. Thursday though… Well, we’ll get to that. What about my boy, though? Virgil’s here. Do I treat him like Braxton or “The New Guy?”

Speaking of movies from 2002… Sigh, to think I had such “promise,” Lady Sophia. Nope! But what about Braxton’s book? Or any of the books that I’ve written, to be honest. There’s even all these conversations that we’ve been having. The “Tales” have only just begun, Soph, as far as my writing goes. How do I describe how I feel about it? It’s bad, okay. Hell! It is somewhere between Mike Enslin in 1408. And Leo Biederman in Deep Impact. Endings. If there is one semi-good thing about today, I’m not feeling suicidal desperation now. Don’t get me wrong, like the song “Teen Idle,” I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” But that’s an everyday thing for me. Again being honest

Only there are so many things to read, Sophia. Suppose I stick with the 50/30/20 Rule. I was drawn to it this morning. Sometimes I think these ideas are all messages from my little B, ha-ha. And sometimes, it’s a crappy Kindle challenge. As I said, the book I was reading was starting to piss me off. And the challenge had a quick read on it Ark by Veronica Roth. Divergent? The last thing I need to think about. Sigh, Shailene Woodley’s tits on this AM. Spend money on books, not boobies, isn’t that right, Lady Sophia. Because shopping on a Saturday is, as Todd would put it, “No Bueno.” Life without Braxton’s the same. Again Virgil’s here. But you know, Virgil Has No B.

887 Days Without B III, Day 328 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 002 ~Friends Don’t Make You Imaginary~

Imaginary? I “want” to believe my son is a ghost. Or that a couple of women, one Somebody That I Used To Know when I could tell her, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved… But waking up every morning… “Friends Don’t Make You Imaginary.”

Monday, July 3, 2023

Tale 002 ~Friends Don’t Make You Imaginary~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I don’t have many friends. That much… Dolls, Robots, Prostitutes… But Musk, Trump, soon DeSantis…

Not that I mean to get all political now. As much as I wish those fucktards were imaginary in this existence. Like the Basic Bitch? I was playing pretend… She was a fever dream. One kind of fucking mistake. Hell! The only kind I seem to make. The Pic Phenomenon?

But what about my Braxton? My fascination… (Um, the song is “Infatuation,” thank you, Rod Stewart. And no homo Todd). Anyway, my friend, first love, I fucking love my son, and the letter F, yeah. I love my boy, never loved, but love forever. Always. Even now. With Virgil sleeping beside the table, I can see Braxton sitting beneath it. Madam, what happens if I stop crying like a little boy? Let the pain go…

Oh! Like I did last night when I was engaging with my cuck fantasy. “You Don’t Know Me.” How many imaginary lovers do I have at the moment? Do we count another girl from OnlyFans from this morning as I came to sit at the table? And with more money? Don’t worry; we’ll get to that. Of course, there are all the ones that I can have freely. And if I grew desperate enough… Yet another reason I broke yesterday —my six impossible things, ha-ha. I don’t even remember the last time I had something, someone real. And any women that imagine me… At best, I’m invisible; at worst, imaginary. And you’ve seen me the past few days. To not be here at all… sighs.

But how would that be any different than what I do to others, Madam? I’m not friends with the people I got Virgil from. Only I haven’t seen those folks in a year. “Gotcha’ Day?” I keep telling myself I need to check on Braxton’s Aunt… her love life. And M Anime… her mom. I meant to do that Saturday. But I was too busy for them. My imaginary friends. That includes a new book I got, “Buried Deep in our Hearts.” Humans and fur-babies. Everything is fiction, make-believe, pretend, and imaginary. Madam, that’s best. Necromancy, on the other hand… Everything is dead and brought back. No wonder I’m scared all the time. Life is real. Myself, an imaginary existence. Friends Don’t Make You Imaginary.

883 Days Without B III, Day 324 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

Why aren’t I a billionaire yet… A millionaire, at least? It’s because I write like this after six years. It’s getting worse. “Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas,” what’s next, hmm. I don’t know. But tomorrow. “Virgil, These Endings B

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because that’s the way my existence… No. My life is supposed to end. Discovered immortality yet…

If I had Lady Lunalesca, I would have given it to my son. Well, enough of it because at the end of the day, “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Hell! I’d have said goodbye, Lunalesca. And that was last night. Anyway, back to my “point.” I would have given Braxton enough so that we would have gone together. The good death, as they say, and a perfect victory Lu. It even beats out what Tyrion said “Belly full of wine, girl’s mouth around my cock. But of course, we never saw him die, so we don’t know. And you would think I’d be better at this “last words thing” after reading “Looking for Alaska.” It’s only “The Closing Of The Year. How many is that…

Lesson, Episode, Log, Gospel, Chronicle, Saga. So six years? Yep, what a waste, Dear Lu. And all because my “friendship” ended with the Basic Bitch? I don’t know anymore, ha. I’m not going back to read all that, either. Funny how I expect other people to want to at all. And no, that’s not me complaining like on TIBU. Do you remember that? This Is By Us? If I could do it all over again… Hell! I have too much to do today. Ending existence… I’ve said before my aunt had me all wrong about me wanting to destroy everything. Lunalesca, ask me why I dream of an apocalypse, then. “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” Schindler’s List, the Talmud, Pop Culture Whore.

“That’s Me!” that’s from Ask Ashley. “I’ll miss the start as long as I’m here at the end.” That’s from the movie Troy. And “all of it. It’s all true.” I’ve saved a life… As effed up as I am, I’m still here. And while this is the end of another “writing” year. Still breathing. And with these breaths, what do I have to say for myself? Well, other than yelling at Virgil to show some courage. As always, he is not my son. Now that’s a last word Lunalesca. Braxton. To say my son’s name. Now that’s a fitting end, Lu. To take a life is to destroy the world entire. Better worlds… never, other, alternative. Words to speak before… Virgil, These Endings B…

881 Days Without B III, Day 322 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

I was dying to talk about something… but now I’m living to or for… Hell! I only exist, but I wonder if Braxton… there I go again. I meant, does Virgil think he’s living the life. Maybe if I mowed the lawn. There are bodies to hide. Dying To B Virgil.

Friday, June 30, 2023

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I can lie here all day. Or identify as a dog. Going Titanic diving, hmm…

Is that in poor taste? Bad form? I would say I’m just “Doing Me.” You know I’m just doing my thing. Hell! As if I know about any of that. Boy, Braxton, big-breasted babes… “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” and no, Lady Sophia. I haven’t seen the movie, but it gives me ideas. I should watch Spontaneous again, along with this movie and Looking for Alaska. I finished the book yesterday. Was Alaska’s death an accident or a suicide, Lady Sophia? All I know is this one story I keep telling myself about Braxton. My little boy was murdered. And I guess it’s hard to type with all the blood on my hands. And with other crimes… If I become a billionaire, I won’t start trophy hunting.

My furry little boy was enough for me. But “The Most Dangerous Game…” Uh, yeah… Did I say I wanted to hunt human beings for sport? The world, my writing… WAR… Lady Sophia, I hope I can pick a better word than “Bawitdaba.” Only with my luck, like I can attest today. I didn’t mean to write any of this dribble at all. Zombies, friend. Namely, a zombie apocalypse is what I want to rant about, to read, and the rage I have felt at myself these past few days. To choose death over everything, including despair. The only time I have despaired over death was, again, losing Braxton. But how best to love me more? That’s what I was thinking yesterday. To love me?

I think to myself that Braxton would rather die than see me unhappy. But then again, he would instead live than see me unhappy. That’s why he fought death for so damn long, Lady Sophia. I say that my indifference killed him. But as he lay dying… nothing but love. I’m in love with death, My Lady. In particular, that of my dog, the decisions of a damned world, and every orgasm my dick provides me. Let the apocalypse come. Inevitable, am I right? The end and a sex joke. Again this did not go at all how I figured. At least it kept me from talking about, well… I spoke of Alaska Young’s death. Tomorrow? One more year of writing. Dying To B Virgil

880 Days Without B III, Day 321 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 360 ~Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords~

Cut it out! This being afraid crap. If I could write something like Be Not So Fearful. Hell! More like Game Of Thrones… which made tons? With or without cash, I’d be afraid. No blades, no bows, leave your weapons here. “Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords.”

Monday, June 26, 2023

Saga 360 ~Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I can pay people to be eloquent for me. Even with money, I’m afraid, Madam.

I’m sure I’ll be saying that in a brothel someday. But yesterday, I was coming back to the house, and I breathed, “I’m afraid all the time.” That’s the last thing I need, Madam Justice. To sound like Ellie from The Last of Us. I have plenty of knives. But you know I’m not a cutter. Even if that nail fell off my thumb yesterday evening. I’m not for self-mutilation. That’s a step too far. It was only a nail. But hell, Madam! Everything in this existence feels like a step too far or at least in the wrong direction. That’s if I bother getting out from beneath the covers at all. Ask me where I am right now, Madam. It’s part fear, part laziness.

I’m CUTTING time out of this existence sitting here and again; why is that, Madam? Yesterday. The start of this week. When I spell out my six impossible things. Hell! I can relate all those things to cutting. There’s opening a book… And didn’t I say I wasn’t getting any wiser from doing so? I’m as bad as Moms For Liberty and the GOP assholes. I’m tearing myself to pieces. When it comes to looking at my son. Did I forget to mention Braxton… almost? I still have his two books, but what about editing GULP, the poetry book? How I hate editing. And am I afraid of being cut to shreds by critics anytime? Madam, I might as well cut up any cash today.

Which, of course, leads me to my favorite thing… Pretty Piece of Flesh. Pic Phenomenon? Only I don’t need any blade for that. Even with my effed-up thumb, I can still get my pants off. And this existence for me. Besides caring for my little boy. This existence has been all about getting women out of their clothes. With enough money or know-how. People with sharp minds, Madam. I was reading the other day and saw “GPA.” How I cut “mine” to ribbons. I would rather cut my flesh. Again I’m not a cutter. But something? Braxton’s tattoos? Would that make me brave, like holding a sword? M Anime, Braxton’s Aunt, and Cherry. They’re fighting their battles. I’m afraid Madam… Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords

876 Days Without B III, Day 317 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

Busy as a bee? How I’d have killed for a B back in school. Hell! A D was good enough to not get my behind whipped by my father; his birthday is today. So I’ll be busy with one text. And then there was my son Braxton. “B’s Accomplish Much Virgil”

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve… Um, excuse me, my employees accomplish much. What am I good at, Lunalesca?

Well, considering I should have been up at 4:00 AM. I was awake near 7:00 AM. Virgil, or more so Braxton, should go out at 8:00 AM. And it’s now 8:15 AM… excuse me, Lunalesca. Okay, I’m back. As the song goes, “Welcome to My Life.” Well, my existence, Lunalesca. That’s another one for my B III playlist. Such are my accomplishments, like life goals. Everything I want is inane, insane, impossible, or illegal (possibly). And now add imaginary too. But seeing how I’ve gotten out of bed… (Slow clap) … Busy as a bee, I am not, Lady Lunalesca. But if you told me, I could have my son back? Or there are boobies. Again, why was I up so late and then awake?

As much as I pride myself on being one of those who prescribes to STAY WOKE. What has that accomplished? Evil prevails when good men do nothing. But the truth is evil prevails. I got that from Lord of War. And while I’m going on about movies. Yeah, like that’s an accomplishment, going on about film quotes. Like, be good? And if you can’t be good, don’t get caught. That is something out of The 5th Wave, Lunalesca. I believe. You’re wondering what brought all of this on today. Can you let me know, Lunalesca? Yesterday I was talking about all these people on social media. Accomplishing life itself. And then there are the people I know. There’s Virgil up in Braxton’s room. He’s scared.

Like me? Hell! To put one foot in front of the other? Will he take a step outside? And it’s not like coming back in is any better. And he’s all fidgety and itchy. He is not my son, Lu. But is that something I should endeavor to do? Could I love 2V as I love B III every day? It’s been 315 days, Lunalesca. Love can’t tell time. And that’s from Our Family Wedding. Did I have to mention something like that after everything I learned this week? Can’t I focus on my thumbnail, and I don’t mean my picture? The Pic Phenomenon? Lunalesca, can I not be sick… get some sleep and not sin? Busy B, a grade B? B’s Accomplish Much Virgil

874 Days Without B III, Day 315 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 357 ~To B Loved Virgil~

I’d still watch the videos if I didn’t read the comments. Let them celebrate, crow, and hear all the congratulations. That’s love, no? Babies, betrothals, busting out the wedding cakes. Me? V was waiting on the stairs, and B? “To B Loved Virgil”

Friday, June 23, 2023

Saga 357 ~To B Loved Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I have many a disgusting story to tell. Without Bandcamp? Bitcoin? Onlyfans? Uh…

I could name other sins. Could be? Should be? Regardless, My Lady, “All are punished!” And no, I’m not reading Romeo and Juliet. And while I’m reading “Looking for Alaska.” Lady Sophia, twenty percent completion doesn’t give me room to talk. Plus, I wonder if it’s a love story. Is that what I’ve been reading… Love stories? Lack thereof? Inevitable that it always, and I do mean always, comes back to my son. My dead one, Lady Sophia. As for V. “You’re not my son.” That’s my best impression of Enabran Tain from DS9. Of course, I don’t say that to him out loud. However, it wasn’t words of love today when I found him on the stairs waiting. “You were lucky, not smart, Virgil.”

Why can’t I love him? Hell! I’m trying. “I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest, and kind. Well, I’m still working on kind.” And why can’t I use “my” own words? How about turning off Youtube for now? That’s why I’m upset today. Well, the last few days. Again, if only I could tell the truth about things. Take the word CONGRATULATIONS, for starters. Am I jealous, mad, horny? The Pic Phenomenon, ha. But no. While I was dicking around, minus my dick for once. I was watching Reactions for The Last of Us. I like couple reactors. In this case, it’s MAC React. So I’m going through the comments… CONGRATULATIONS, Madison’s pregnant; Samantha is too. Shelby’s married…

What am I doing even caring about all these people’s lives? Now not those rich effers in the submarine. But I mean people I pay attention to. In particular, their love lives, Lady Sophia. There it is; LOVE. As Taylor Swift sings, “It’s a love story, baby, just say, “Yes.” More like, “Somebody tell me what is wrong with me. I wasn’t sure, but I know now. I believe that it must be. Love don’t love me.” And didn’t I say I would make a playlist of the songs Braxton sends? Anyway. Seems like the women whose text and poetry I read are in the same boat. Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry. But me, lusting for love? Reading of love… Loser. To B Loved Virgil

873 Days Without B III, Day 314 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 353 ~I Am Different, Not Less~

I’m different? A joke… I’m dead, I’m deceased, and I’m dead. That last one? Some things we shouldn’t laugh at. Like the GOP laughs at Juneteenth. Or that I’m a black man that loves Necromancy and zombies. I still cry over B. I Am Different, Not Less.

Monday, June 19, 2023

Saga 353 ~I Am Different, Not Less~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Ok. I’m not, but in either case, I shouldn’t be working today out of general principle. FREEDOM!!!

Today is JUNETEENTH! Well, at the moment, it’s Saturday, June 17, 2023. But you know. I have to time travel. With everything going on, but being a selfish prick? Inevitable? Madam, it’s a choice. And that’s something I took away from Braxton. Virgil, too perhaps? For once, it is V I’m thinking about. When I came upon today’s rule. I am different, not less. If that doesn’t encapsulate V being in this existence. He’s not my son, but he’s someone. A life worth saving… Yes, I’ll apply that to fur babies but not SOME people. But with Virgil, I remember Celia Flores from FTWD. S2.E7 Shiva “What you see is my son. Changed yes, but no less my son. My (Braxton).” Where was Virgil… Archie?

Give me some credit Madam; at least I saw if anything… God, I hate when people say these words. It’s just a dog —nevertheless, a life. I can’t call myself a Republican because how do they see POC, the LGBTQIA+ community, women, and I could go on, um, I think. Anyway, I’m the last person who should be talking about women. Considering, as the song goes, “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Um, I struggle to keep women… middle grounded. One day, angels, queens, and goddesses. And then in the next moment… Dirty talk? Please! I wish that’s all there was. Men were made from dirt, according to the Bible. To think that book written by “so many” with other words being less, worthless, banned…

I am a writer, or so I claim myself to be. And the things I write of… different, not less. Madam, am I less because I study “the dead?” Reincarnation, resurrection, and the reconstitution of what might be considered a life? Necromancy? I keep thinking of the song “From Now On” in the movie “Surf Ninjas. You got to dig down deep. If you want to wake the dead from their sleep. That’s how I feel. Like I’m out of “Warm Bodies.” I’ve long since given up Julie, and instead, I’m a corpse trying to dig up my friend, B. Madam, I ain’t alive. And I’m worse than most people. A black man, sadist, father to a dead fur baby… I Am Different, Not Less.

869 Days Without B III, Day 310 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 351 ~Braxton And Virgil, Lineup~

Once, I ended up in juvenile detention for a week. A long time before I met Braxton. I’ve only had run-ins with the police twice when he was alive. And then, when I committed my greatest crime, his death. There was nothing. Braxton And Virgil, Lineup

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Saga 351 ~Braxton And Virgil, Lineup~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So like Charlotte Flair, this means I’ll need some help finding the back of the line.

Lady Lunalesca, shopping at Walmart is a humbling experience. However, that’s not what I was thinking yesterday. It was more to the point of, “Is It A Crime,” I don’t have a life like Jacob Ralston’s? I listen to Succubus Lord. Eat pepper dogs and onion rings. Oh, and I bought a new power cord. Lady Lunalesca considering all this… I have a good life. Hell! I’m lucky I’m not doing life, or am I? All I know is I don’t want to wake up. And why is that? What am I going to do? Give you a list, a few more lines, losing Braxton? How much is too much pain? What about pleasure? And there’s always FEAR of the penal variety. Walmart has that.

Though nobody is going to lock me up, Lunalesca. Not for what happened to Braxton. Even if I think a punishment is warranted. Did I say that? But what am I going to do about it? I bought more soup but not cranberry juice, Sprite, more vitamins or meds, ok Lu. I got the last box of Braxton’s favorite treats, though. As I put the box in his room, I looked down at V, noticing again. He is not my B. But then I wondered how I might help him “find himself.” Haven’t I given up on the whole reincarnation bit Lady Luna? Tell that to serial killers. But you know my crime of choice. I swear the things done with Bitcoin these days. Ever?

“The dark side of the Force (Bitcoin) is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.” Chancellor Palpatine

The world would be better off without… Well, I can go a few places with that. And none of them are good. But you know what I mean. Me, me, me! I’ve said, “This Is America.” So I’ll end up in some lineup. Or I’ll be a line in a banned book. That’s lucky. Inevitable? I thought that once when Braxton was still here, Lunalesca. I’d either leave him before it was time, or I would be a success. I would have a wife, and he’d be stuck with siblings. And now it all comes back to money. The cash spent perpetrating The Pic Phenomenon. The line into Hell must be so much longer. Everyone’s headed there. Heaven? Braxton. Virgil, someday… Braxton And Virgil, Lineup

867 Days Without B III, Day 308 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will