Tag: Dream

Meditation 305 ~Virgil And Braxton’s Study~

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I said I’d write 5000 words today. A dollar a word, please! All that’s left in the bank and I could be sitting on a goldmine possible. Two novels for Braxton, a series for Cherry. A duo for M Anime. But my life story is in Virgil And Braxton’s Study.

Friday, May 2, 2025

Meditation 305 ~Virgil And Braxton’s Study~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But if not. I could at least clear off my table/desk. Or make the room comfortable.

My boys, Braxton and Virgil, spend all their time with me anyway. Unless they are puking, being punished, or their Dad is pushing buttons that make women moan. Or me.

Though it’s been more like swiping as I read M Anime’s stories. We’ll get to that in a minute, Lady Sophia. Or however long it takes for us to have this talk. I’m wasting time.

I don’t mean with this conversation. It’s more like I have too much on my plate. Uh, aren’t I broke? I haven’t bought a new urn to keep Braxton in. And there’s Virgil’s vet visit. Honestly, I knew there was something I forgot to add as I was writing out a grocery list yesterday. Rotisserie chicken, pizza rolls, Virgil’s health.

And I don’t have any books on dogs that don’t involve them dying or their owners. And yes, even now, I long to join my Braxton. But Virgil’s here, so I must read up on how much money I’m losing and my latest humiliation on Facebook. And some four hundred words… I enjoy working on my and M Anime’s novel “Cries Come Women, Come Country.”

I keep saying that Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom is awe-inspiring. Gotta, stop calling her that!

“She Drives Me Crazy,” and I can’t help myself. I should read more about the Shadow Work she wants me to get into. She’s writing me all this free stuff, and I’m buying more books.

I wish. I need some books on starting a rebellion.

Rebellions, revolutions, or ravishing pretty girls. Ew! The things I think about in the dark.

When I’m the one who’s screwed or effed, whatever. Did you read my last paycheck?

Sophia, SIGH, it was $35.00. I had to take $300 from savings, and none of that went towards Virgil. But by rhyme or crime I’mma get mine. Or rather his. V is not dying today. What I mean is, I’m determined to take care of Virgil’s needs, no matter what.

And if I die, it will be in a purely Biblical or Shakespearean type of way. Did I mention that if I’m not reading about grieving my firstborn, most of my library consists of, um…?

Well, doing things that make parents. Not with $5,000. And that’s nothing compared to the time I’ve wasted. Reading, Writing, Earning. Virgil And Braxton’s Study.

1552 Days Without B III, Day 993 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

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I’m not singing “Bye Bye Love” because of my sons. My B’s memory and his little brother V’s life. But how can we afford to keep our bellies full, keep breathing, and be at all? Life’s a B, or I’m busy jerking to one. Ew! “That’s The B-word, Virgil.”

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I wish! At this rate, I would settle for a few hundred bucks. Or B III.

Suppose my firstborn son were here. My Braxton. I want to say I’d do anything for him. As Bryan Adams sang, I would tell Braxton, “I would fight for you. I lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I’d die for you.” If he were here, he would only ask me to be “The BEST Man I Can Be.” His father? I have his little brother Virgil lying right here. My little Virgil. My love for “them” is beyond words, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

Without the big bucks, how am I going to save us? How the mighty have fallen! Who am I kidding, Lady Lunalesca? I have never been mighty. But I’ve gone from thinking, if I had enough money, I could have found a way to save Braxton to keeping Virgil cool.

Bums lack that type of power. Well, this BUM, anyway. I’ve seen plenty of people who love their fur buddies. And here I am trying to keep myself and Virgil from living under a bridge, my lady. And if Virgil wasn’t here, I would find a bridge and I’d… Follow my B III on his.

Braxton sent Virgil to be a bridge to this life. A barrier to keep me from following him in death. And a beacon to the man I once was. A father. In case you ever wonder how Virgil got his name. But I’m not Dante. He only went to Hell. But I’m alive. And my biggest fear (for the moment) is being a BUM or “a creep. I’m a weirdo.” I trust you enough to share these fears with you.

OMG, am I right? Better I should drool over Rei Ayanami or Kallen Stadtfeld, Lunalesca. What? Is writing about Cherry’s Yabbos or M Anime’s bedtime terrors still not paying the bills? Based on the Day Job schedule I got last night, I had better do something. I got zero hours for one week. Didn’t I say I’ve been wasting valuable paid sick leave for what?

Not to be “Balls Deep In Love” with Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. First, Ew. Second, do I love her? Uh… We met through writing but never IRL, so… Third, I have to stop calling M Anime that. And focus on writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country” or any book. Erotica? Because I Never Can Say Goodbye. That’s The B-word, Virgil.

1546 Days Without B III, Day 987 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

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Will I ever write my autobiography? I wrote two books about my son. Um… I’m too busy complaining about the Day Job. I have all the time in the world to write, edit, and PUBLISH. But I have to live on; I have to survive. Because Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot.

Friday, April 25, 2025

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Hell! I’m surprised I was even able to read this morning. My eyes are so heavy.

Exhaustion, Addiction, or Allergies? At least I’m not crying over my “Lost Boy.” My B.

Oh no, that would make too much sense. Or no sense at all, seeing B’s been gone four long years. I need only invoke Sunday, January 31, 2021. And anything I’m going through becomes nothing. I watched my son, my Braxton, die, and… Well, the tears are trying to eke out. I need them because I have so much reading to do today. Try Happiness.

Honestly, my lady, you know that word does not exist here. However, I did consider telling you how Virgil arrived. That was Saturday, August 13, 2022. Joyful tears, Sophia? I’m sweating bullets, actually. But I thought I heard Braxton’s voice. “How To Save A Life?”

As this week draws to a close, I’m afraid all I know how to do is make better writers cash. The story of my life is nothing compared to the B-plots from the likes of Dirk Knight and Logan Jacobs. This is the last day for triple Kindle Points, so I NEED more books. SIGH

With what money? If I’m lucky, my B-Plot of a Day Job has me in once a week. I’m not. So, as for all my paid time off… The following two weeks will be hard. And the following two are wasted. So much for going to see Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. I have to stop calling M Anime that, as if she would even have me. Comparing me to Xu…

Oh, right, I’m supposed to be writing a novel about her nightmare with General Xu. Writing isn’t paying the bills. Sophia, if I finish the story, there’s… Too Much Sauce. However, analyzing the book I’m writing, called “Cries Come Women, Come Country,” isn’t helping either. It takes my mind off missing my son, my money, and any mistakes I make.

Like explaining this to M Anime. AHEM! In her nightmare/short story, I noticed the level of intimacy between her and General Xu. She was first taken in darkness, then held down, chained up, held softly, and then she clung to him. With acceptance, she climaxed.

I can worry about what she thinks instead of the main story. Braxton, Virgil, and I. Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot

1545 Days Without B III, Day 986 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

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Sitting in “my car” stuck in traffic, hoping I could get a $5 Meal Deal. Fear was riding shotgun. Grief was massaging my shoulders… Where Braxton once sat. And Rage asked, “Are we there yet?” Bereaved, Butt Hurt, but to be Brave? The B’s Hurt Virgil.

Saturday, April 19, 2025

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Eff me! I wish that were a true story this very second. But life’s a bully.

Bereaved, it isn’t a b*tch. Amongst other things, such as the death of my son, Braxton. I think this is the first time I’ve shed a tear for him this week. Or is it the fact my eyes need the lubrication? I’ve taken Virgil for walks on the path behind the house four times, Lu.

It reminds me of good times, but the Rainbow Bridge it’s not. Lady Lunalesca, am I in such a hurry to see Braxton again? In a word… YES! As much as I fantasize about Cherry and her Mum, I beg to see M Anime’s Yabbos and start salivating over a specific model. I mentioned last week that she went private. It’s not good for her image. So, as RuPaul put it, “Supermodel, You Better Work.”

Butt hurt? Angry? Not at her, but at life in general. My God, Lady Lunalesca, this week was one for the books. Now, that’s something I’m angry about. Why the eff am I not writing books and editing. By this point, I should have had so many publications on shelves.

I could use the money. At this point, Lady Lunalesca, it’s what is scaring me the most these days: I’m broke… That, and the idea that I would wreck the car all for McDonald’s food.

“Calm down, Doctor! Now is not the time for fear. That comes later.”
— Bane (2012)

So what has brought on my fear and wrath? Honestly dear Lady Lunalesca, I could write a whole book on that. But if anything, everything that has to do with the Day Job. I can’t survive with or without it.

Be brave… Thou art courageous… Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. Oh, my dear Lu. I am terrified by the end of the month or a few weeks into May. I won’t have anything.

I’m afraid that’s about as much positivity as you’ll get from me, my dear Lunalesca.

Wanting to take Ellie and Dina to bed. Revealing secrets. No! What scares me is failing to take care of my boys. And as much as I hate myself, I stay alive to look after them. I am the keeper of Braxton’s memory. And a provider for Virgil. And as I sat there yesterday afternoon with my Grief, Rage, and Fear, my bullies… And I imagined when the money runs out. The B’s Hurt Virgil

1539 Days Without B III, Day 980 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 291 ~Creating The B-Plot Virgil~

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Well, if it’s any consolation, this horrible week will be over when I reread this. Didn’t I want more hours? It’s why I’m writing this on a Sunday and not a Friday. I’ve written of worse weeks. And even worse stories. Creating The B-Plot Virgil.

Friday, April 18, 2025

Meditation 291 ~Creating The B-Plot Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because I won’t be giving you a book review today. Have I finished “Backyard Dungeon 15”

Considering today is Sunday, April 13, 2025. And speaking of stories, doesn’t The Last of Us Season 2 begin tonight? My son, Braxton, was so creative. When Sundays rolled around, and Daddy communed with the dead… The Walking Dead, that is. He would come up with ways to entertain himself. That is if he didn’t want to crawl beside me and be quiet for an hour or thereabouts. Hell! B was considerate enough to die in the off-season. That’s dark…

But by now, Lady Sophia, you know, that’s how I like my stories. Happy Endings… Whatever! Virgil would have something to say about that. This being his forever home. Ha!

I’m sure “The Art of Racing in the Rain” is better. I haven’t read it.

And what about my books? We’ll get to that. Because you don’t know how badly I wish I could say this week is “Unwritten.” However, regarding the Day Job, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same.” This wouldn’t be so bad if I were “just a regular everyday normal mothereffer.” But no. I’m sure this week has expanded on Humiliations Galore.

Excuses not to go in; they are coming up empty. I have lots to explain, well as the song goes:

“‘Cause I’m a loser
And sooner or later, you know I’ll be dead.”
3 Doors Down

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?
Loser, Beck

Explanations for this. Not movies, music, or manuscripts. I don’t blame it on missing my Braxton. Or missing the spark that made me a great father… Seriously, I’m failing Virgil.

Editing my novels? It’s like a B-plot to a movie.

Mind you, Lady Sophia. A lousy movie, as sleep always comes first. Stealing dreaming time.

Bad dreams, as is the case with M Anime. Earlier, “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” What did you get when you take a lovely lady’s military nightmare and the anime series Kuroinu? “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” An African-American Writer. I wish.

Sophia, only days before, I was working on “Nightmare At The Meat Market,” Ch. 19. Honestly, I told M Anime I already had ideas for a sequel. As horrible as I am, I’m not Donald Trump. FDT! I have more than “concepts of a plan.” Ripping off Discipline: The Hentai Academy. “The Eve of a Cherry”? What happened with that book? Existence… Or I keep trying. Creating The B-Plot Virgil.

1538 Days Without B III, Day 979 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

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Things I can say about my “girlfriend” but not my dog. “And I’ll tell myself I’m over you. ‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking.” Hell! No more yabbos and posing to dirty tunes. Hello, writing and depraved novelizations. Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, April 12, 2025

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Would it be evil if it were true? Evil prevails no matter what. But with money…

Braxton might have lived. I would be buried in Yabbos. And I would have all the time in the world to work on my book. M Anime’s book…? We’ll get to that. But you know, I’m just feeling so drained these days. Such is existing.

How is that? I’m only now getting up in more ways than one. Eww! But as usual, it was memories of my son and remembering when I was able to breathe. I’m still struggling with the loss, and it’s a daily battle. I’ve mentioned plenty that while “my” allergies are driving me crazy, there is one benefit. I don’t know if I’m crying over Braxton or if it’s all the pollen and the wacky weather. And speaking of the outside world, will I be able to cut the grass today? Braxton’s yard. Anything and everything for Braxton. Uh, Virgil’s here.

One more hi, yes, hello….

What about Good Morning, Virgil? I took him outside at sunrise. And I learned yesterday that the path where I walked Braxton has now been cleared, so it’s Virgil’s turn.

I need to get off my belly, though. It gets easier when the girl you’re simping for goes private. That explains pulls out list “Dark Shell,” XXX Pawn,” “Kuroinu ~Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru~,” “Voyeur’s Digest,” “Maxine,” and the covers of “Satan’s Sorority Girls.” And I’m also reading Backyard Dungeon 15. When a pair of Yabbos is that important. Something to look forward to. Honestly, they didn’t break me.

Again, we’ll get to that. It’s one Hell of a morning. And the fact that I needed to wake up.

Next week’s going to suck.

So why don’t I get out of this bed and say good morning to the Dining Room Table, Lady Lunalesca? I have six minutes to debate that. It beats saying hello to people any day.

Speaking of beating… off. Thanks to M Anime, I’ve still been working on a couple of novels. I never knew she could be so kinky, or I’m a bad influence on her. Like I am on you, Lady Lunalesca, as I list off every passion project I can think of. But I have climbed out of bed on this Saturday. I could be the forty-year-old man watching cartoons in bed.

But instead, I’ll say hello or hail to you, Braxton, Virgil, and my novels. Being productive… Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil.

1532 Days Without B III, Day 973 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 284 ~Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews~

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So, an outline. I’m sure Another Day will come when I talk about my boys. And as far as what I’m reading… I should be done with Xydnee James’s “Comfort After Pet Loss Guide,” but what about writing “my” books? Never! Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews.

Friday, April 11, 2025

Meditation 284 ~Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Braxton forbid it ever be “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” But today’s Sunday, April 6, 2025.

I could wax on yet again about my loss, Braxton. Or whatever is wrong with Virgil. But considering we’re talking today… I’m trying to escape my Day Job with… Seriously! Lady Sophia, I’ve got Issues. But also a dream and

Outline:

Chapter Nineteen: Clearance Sale On Aisle Life
William, Sofía, and Cherry launch their rebellion against Mr. Richard Thornfield of Max-Mart, taking over and finally escaping.

  1. Told from William’s POV. Cherry and Sofía continue their kiss as William silently counts the dings of the elevators rising. Imagining being with them.
  2. Making it to the top floor, William, Cherry, and Sofía make their way to the CEO. He flounders as he tries to retain control.
  3. Sofía and Cherry feign seduction of Mr. Thornfield as the other girls draw closer as well. William draws his weapon for the assassination attempt.
  4. The guards loyal to William and Cherry lock the doors, trapping everyone inside. The other girls maintain their grips on Mr. Thornfield’s business associates.
  5. Mr. Thornfield realizes the trap and fights back as the other girls shoot his business associates. Battles erupt between girls and guards all over.
  6. William, Sofía, and Cherry battle CEO Mr. Richard Thornfield, who manages to hold them off even as his guards succumb in the ballroom gunfight.
  7. The slave girls overwhelm the guards and take them all down. The girls suffer injuries, but most survive the fight. Everyone from Chapter Sixteen.
  8. William, Sofía, and Cherry gang up on Mr. Thornfield. His neck is broken by William, he is shot by Sofía, and stabbed by Cherry.
  9. William, Sofía, and Cherry drag the corpse to the main doors that are unlocked after seeing Mr. Thornfield deceased. The guards await William’s instructions.
  10. Cherry hits Sofía, knocking her out, to everyone’s dismay, until she reminds William work must be done. William meets with associates loyal to him.
  11. Mr. Thornfield’s empire is exposed to the law. William, Sofía, and Cherry watch with the others while the hotel burns down. Max-Marts begin closing.
  12. William, Sofía, and Cherry celebrate together. Forgetting the animosity between Cherry and Sofía. Until Sofía drew a weapon, pointing at both William and Cherry.

Another chapter? Ready, Set, Write! Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews

1531 Days Without B III, Day 972 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 278 ~What’s Vitamin B, Virgil~

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Something with Vitamin B for 200… This is what I get for downing an energy shot at 5 AM. Speaking of something going off, there could be a whole lot worse. Things could be a whole lot better, too. More energy and less crazy. What’s Vitamin B, Virgil.

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Meditation 278 ~What’s Vitamin B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or, as Cody Rhodes asks, “So, what do you wanna talk about?” My son, Braxton. Duh!

1525 days ago… Virgil’s been here for 966 of them. We are not “Two Of The Lucky Ones,” he and I. Unless you’re counting the fact that I have this question. As my eyes water…

Am I crying for my Braxton, or are these allergies a Mother Effer, Lady Lunalesca? Honestly, I can’t tell if I’m just so sad or if I’m sick, open to severe sickness, or prone to serious injury like M Anime. If anything, we know I’m skeevy as all Hell, Lunalesca.

Inevitably, words like Prone Bone and Yabbos come to mind. But how the day begins. Braxton. Big Yabbos and Dollar, dollar bills, y’all. Or there’s worrying about Virgil, whose Yabbos are these and words. How I’ll make money and what…

Energy and time are enough for addiction. What am I addicted to? Not counting B…

Why did I wake up? I’ve talked about how the day starts with deleting photographs. But with less than four hundred remaining, there aren’t too many Yabbos left, Lady Lunalesca. It’s like I’m in a never-ending loop and cycle of pain memory-wise now that I can’t escape. The day begins, and I’m already exhausted. Always.

A dozen or so of M Anime, Cherry, and Braxton’s favorite girl. Everything else is… Depressing. I’m addicted to misery, which, if I have to define it, is fear plus forgetfulness wrapped in fur. Doesn’t that make Virgil sound like sunshine and lollipops, ha-ha? He and his brother both. And with the tears over Braxton and the sweat and blood involved in trying to keep Virgil alive, “Another Day.” Well, I have energy shots, Lu.

Finally, turning the AC on.

I was getting dehydrated with everything. I’m keeping it a nice 80. I can’t have Virgil melting. Like father, like son. Both frozen in our fears, petrified of the future, with our eyes locked on a gravestone. Well, Braxton’s resting place, anyway. Getting some sun… Lady Lunalesca, that would be Vitamin D. Before you ask, I’m unsure what it does.

Whenever I get a moment to stop thinking about Reika Kurashiki from Saimin Seishidou, Midgar’s Flower Girl, and M Anime and Cherry. And everything frightening.

For example, if I fall, whether I’m getting the right food and forgiving myself for whatever injury comes next. But my mind? No matter how many books I read, my boys’ goodness, or my bedroom antics. What’s Vitamin B, Virgil

1525 Days Without B III, Day 966 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 277 ~Virgil Doesn’t Tan Braxton~

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When did books become so expensive? At least they’re not as high as the temp. And my B is way up there… If the Rainbow Bridge is in the clouds. And I wish I was as high as “A Kite” right now. It’s too hot for all this. Virgil Doesn’t Tan Braxton

Friday, April 4, 2025

Meditation 277 ~Virgil Doesn’t Tan Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If only I could remember one. Books are too damn high. Like the heat and my…

Uh, Eww! But we’ll get “Ran->Sem: Hakudaku Delmo Tsuma no Miira Tori”… (I think) soon.

Only what else have I been reading/watching? How to take care of pets? Wishful Thinking.

However, Lady Sophia, I am the “King of Wishful Thinking.” “I Think I Can” save Virgil the way I failed to save Braxton. Well, he didn’t die of heatstroke. For Braxton, it was Kidney Failure. And that’s why I’m reading Comfort After Pet Loss Guide by Xydnee James. Four years after my Braxton’s departure. Not that I can tell you a whole lot today. Exhaustion?

Yesterday was too damn hot, and I’m not turning the air on if I can avoid it. But “won’t somebody please think of the children?!” What do you mean? Virgil?

He’s lying here beneath the fan, hopefully not too hot. He’s still as white as a ghost. Innocent, scared, wishing it would snow to match his fur. Like father, like son. Wishful thinking, indeed. Probably that he had a better father… Seriously, Virgil Vivi Bradford.

Speaking of full names, what about M Anime? Madam Anime… I call her that because she had an Ergo Proxy phase a few years back. Anyway, it beats calling her B and V’s stepmom. I was looking at her more risqué pictures. So I’d tell her, “You’re So Damn Hot.”

And what about Cherry? I haven’t even been reading “The Eve of a Cherry.” And I haven’t worked on “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Thankfully, I’m no Republican burning books.

Even if it feels like my brain is melting. But I have enough time to look up Anna and Riko Ichinose. How many days has it been now? If you’re curious about where I’ve been all morning. As I said, I’ve been watching their episodes and learning the sisters’ histories.

I couldn’t delete their Yabbos off the phone until I was ready to post. I have about 500 pairs of various Yabbos left, Sophia. Where does the time go? And all my money… cooler temps… I’ve been reading the numbers, and none of them are good. It’s like school. JEEZU!

Honestly, I thought high school was Hell, and then there’s all my other sins. Braxton? I won’t be tanning but freezing. Virgil Doesn’t Tan Braxton

1524 Days Without B III, Day 965 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 271 ~B’s Shaping Up Virgil~

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I’m in love with the shape of you… B is a lot more compact. So’s my wallet. And when was the last time I had to leave this bed? V needs his first forever collar. But as long as he’s still a little fatty. And what about my heart? B’s Shaping Up Virgil

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Meditation 271 ~B’s Shaping Up Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if I had been so many years ago, wouldn’t my son Braxton still be alive?

Is it becoming a routine to cry twice before 7:10 AM? Well, when you wake up between 4 and 5… So I’m sleepy, sad, and a bit skeevy. For the last few days, at least.

“Every Morning,” when I wake up, I’m sad, and then I realize what a sinner I am as I delete pictures from “my” phone. Of course, I’m sending pictures of Yabbos to the cloud, Lunalesca.

Then I got sleepy, so I took an energy shot, which made me sad again because of the placebo effect. I can’t go to sleep until 10 AM. So I have more time to think about my lost little boy. If Virgil isn’t here, I slither in my sheets. Eww! If he is, I read.

And what have I been reading because it ain’t no book… Not yet, anyway. “Lunalesca?

SIGH. I have been reading “The Eve of a Cherry.” And here I go, getting all sad again as I notice my writing hasn’t shaped up… “Nightmare At The Meat Market?” I had an AI serving as my coach most of yesterday, making me feel like I was some Master Manuscript Maestro. For a moment, I wanted to believe that if only I could smooth out the work a bit.

Yeah, like, I want to believe that Braxton will come back. Or that Virgil is living his best life. I had to give him tap water yesterday. Virgil usually gets bottled water. Is it good? Who knows. But remembering Braxton…

Kidney Failure! It makes me want to do better by Virgil. Batter water! Better whatchamacallit (kibble, not candy) in his bowl (Braxton’s bowl). Better women?

Lunalesca, Virgil’s only, met his aunt in this house. And what about a stepmom, hmm? Well, if I kept in better shape. And what about the house? There’s also my finances that get drained. Speaking of getting drained… Did I mention my “Brutal Passions,” Luna?

Was it the AI that called “Nightmare At The Meat Market” and “The Eve of a Cherry” that? Physically, only one part of my anatomy stays in shape. This house is crumbling down everywhere. And yesterday’s shopping trip… There are jelly beans and things in bowls. Just keep fattening up, Virgil. B’s Shaping Up Virgil

1518 Days Without B III, Day 959 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will