Tale 102 ~That’ll B Beeping, Virgil~

Where would I be without my glasses? Hell! Even if I couldn’t see what time it was. I would still have to make my way over to the alarm clock somehow, someway. And I need four because being thirty-nine after a month sucks. “That’ll B Beeping, Virgil”

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

Tale 102 ~That’ll B Beeping, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I have sinned and must confess. Or at least ask the question. Where have these intros been all of my existence? Hmm…

Listen to me. Or I’d rather you didn’t. Because, in the words of Cody Rhodes, what do you want to talk about? And as with every day, it involves me crying about my son Braxton. Don’t you see what time it is? So, I can be forgiven for not shedding tears thus far. And it’s not like I’m yelling at Virgil, either. I only do if he’s in danger. And it’s not like that possum and cat made a sound. Another reason I could only hear my breathing. There was my heart beating out of my chest. And a myriad of excuses if Virgil had been attacked. I remember when Braxton had stepped on a pine cone, a nail, or whatever. I have no clue.

And it was hard having to explain to the vet what was wrong with B. Five Hundred Dollars? This would come much later when the vet would have to explain why Braxton was dying. Again, there were no words from me. Except, it’s my fault. And am I trying to give myself a reason to cry right now? I had them bawling at the Day Job yesterday. Inspector, that was from their laughter. If I had to list the worst sounds in all of this existence. Inspector, so It Follows:

  1. Braxton’s Last Breath
  2. People I Believe Are Laughing at Me
  3. All of “my” Alarm Clocks
  4. My Breath, Realizing I Still Exist
  5. What I Say Afterwards
  6. People Telling Me No

It brings back wanting billions…

Only the money that I have right now, Inspector? I hear those dollars and cents going everywhere but back into my pocket. Hell! I thought I had ten bucks yesterday, but I used debit on a three-dollar sandwich. And don’t get me started on Full Moon BBQ. As the song goes, “I think I used to have a voice.” What I needed was a burger, Inspector. And I was so ready to complain on the day it happened. But lying, Inspector? One of the whoppers has me moaning all over the place these last few days. When I’m not listening to girls and imagining all those dirty, filthy words, there’s “Success.” Jealous hearing it all, Inspector, it’s never for me. Ever!? That’ll B Beeping, Virgil.

983 Days Without B III, Day 424 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 101 ~We’ll B Late, Virgil~

I know what it’s like when somebody picks you up from school late. Or late with an apology, if it ever comes at all. And late to keep promises or vows. At least when it came to a friend. Braxton tried to be late in leaving. We’ll B Late, Virgil.

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Tale 101 ~We’ll B Late, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you. Hmm? That intro sounds like an apology. A little bit. I know I owe you one.

Well, some. By my last count, 982 Days’ worth. And I’m still counting. But today is Saturday, October 7, 2023. So, I’m early. No! And what would you have me say? I got caught up crying. I haven’t shed a tear for Braxton today. And that’s not a good sign, love. Speaking of which, I continue to think about that concerning Virgil. One thing is being a father to Braxton and the children you and I share, but keeping Virgil safe and sound? I call that my responsibility. Only with that, “There’s a possibility,” as the song plays. Should I go all Independence Day with it saying, “There’s still love there, I think?” But a Freeloader? Do I still consider Virgil such? And there’s Braxton?

Love can’t tell time. I heard that in a movie once. Hell! The only time I watch movies nowadays. It’s either… for business purposes. I swear I need to get Leana Lovings on the roster. And on, say it with me, January 31. They’re all about dogs or spontaneous combustion. I’ve blown off working on Braxton’s behalf. Holiday? In Memoriam. Ironically, if I had done that before, he could still be alive. And that’s the thing right there, my love. I blame my indifference, but it was also my lateness. And before we ever met… The one thing I didn’t want to be late for was the Day Job. I would return to that place. Love, my entire existence has been one of being late.

Then again you told me you were late. How did I feel about that? Happiness is such a problematic word for me. Again, love can come whenever, but happiness? I’m still trying to meet it. No! I ain’t even going to lie about that. What’s My Age Again? Almost Forty. Love, did you think I forgot about E-Day? Well, I did forget about Christopher Columbus —the so-called holiday. But the pain he caused remains to this very day love. Horrifying. But again, Braxton’s last day, his birthday? Any day that Braxton was with me living. Today is not that day. And I’ll continue to be lazy or late. But nothing less than in love with you. I said this morning, breathing. We’ll B Late, Virgil.

982 Days Without B III, Day 423 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 095 ~Hey Jealous V, Braxton~

One of B’s greatest accomplishments was making God or whatever jealous. The last look in his eyes… He wanted to stay. And what watch me pant, drool, and rave over what I want. Family, food, fun. He was his father’s son. Now V. Hey Jealous V, Braxton.

Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Tale 095 ~Hey Jealous V, Braxton~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… This means I’m not paranoid. People are watching me. A spam call here… fake emails there…

But no. I’m nobody. That’s what Virgil’s eyes are telling me. A full-length mirror. Courtesy of the Day Job I hate. Braxton’s eyes would show someone better than this. Inspector, as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” B’s jealously were our dining options. Only I was usually sharing with him anyway. Sharing, I swear, some days Inspector, sigh. I go to YouTube and see a pair of my favorite reactors brought their son into the world a couple of days ago. Good for them. Doing what they love. With whom they love. It’s beautiful

Meanwhile, I see on Twitter/X whatever. That a girl went and bought herself a house. Then, on OnlyFans, this former wrestler raised her rates from 0 to $7.99 in days.

Yes, I’m just a jealous guy. I’m jealous of the guy I was last night and who I am today. There’s a man who could tell you the truth and one who has to lie to your face, Echo. Um, considering today is Monday, September 25, 2023. Time Travel. Lies are still lies, hmm. There was the guy who was motivated “come” last night. But today, I’m back sitting in bed, falling way behind after a humiliating time at the Day Job. And I added to it. Inspector, it was all my choice. And even when it’s not, like last night. I’m in pain, and I make the worst decision. I’m sure Virgil can tell you about that when I adopted him. Poor little guy

But you know who makes me particularly jealous? The living? Who I should be. Inspector, it’s the dead… a horrible idea. And no, I don’t want to be a zombie. But last night, my eye… And no, I’m not in love with the dead. There are some dark, twisted places, Inspector. Zombies, though, are my favorite type of apocalypse. The only world I could handle, Echo. You laugh? I mean… I can’t take people now. But at least zombies only have one mission unless we’re talking about that “famous” novel by S Wolf. Good times. Inspector, I’m jealous of everyone else’s good times. But that’s on me. I’ll own it. And I’m jealous of Virgil dreaming of “A Place Called Home.” Hey Jealous V, Braxton

976 Days Without B III, Day 417 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

The only thing I wish… I wish a (bleep) would try banning books. I’m no book burner. When I find a woman and have kids with two legs. Books like Twilight and other dead things will come up. Me first… but I’m no monster. “Braxton and Virgil Re-created”

Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Tale 094 ~Braxton and Virgil Re-created~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so of course, you know we have a library. I hope I’ve added to it, love.

No promises since Braxton died. But today, Sunday, September 24, 2023, I will try, love. I am going to try really hard not to be negative. I’ve already talked to the Man In The Mirror, my son, and the Madam. And between all the meditation I’ve been doing today, sigh. Okay, I’m still trying. I only meant that the meditation has been Pomodoro working sessions to write. And I’ve been getting back into motivationals, only today for now, but it’s something. To be that man again… When Braxton was very much alive, and I’d write.

Furthermore, we’re talking today because I have a lot of work to do. (As if reading from a script…) and I am grateful for… some reason. Always my family, love.

And that we don’t live in a time of actual vampires… One of the reasons I wanted to try this is because, for most of the day, I’ve been avoiding the news. Books, Baby Girl. Billionaire scientists might be hard to come by. But doesn’t Warren Buffett read a ton? Anyway, this is where I got the idea for Re-creation; “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I’ve finished reading that, but with Time Travel being this way… Now, how do I explain it? You know me and pop culture references. Remember Namor? How he brought the sun to his people in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Beautiful. That’s me. I’m underwater, and at least for now, I need the facsimile of the sun.

Didn’t I say something about our children? They run around, grabbing hold of our legs. Like Braxton would once upon a time. And he’d even jump into my arms. Virgil? Different yes. He’s not Braxton’s reincarnation, Re-creation, or replacement… Never! Negativity? I’m still trying. V is a good furry kid. And, like me, he’s trying his best every day. Uh, here’s a question for you. Were you the Prom Queen ever? You know, The Rock? Anyway, when our children grow up, I’m sure Braxton will be pulling them up; love, wherever he is. I’d lay on him. He raised my spirits and mood. But other things rose when he laid on his aunt as I lay on you. From the dead? Braxton and Virgil Re-created

975 Days Without B III, Day 416 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 088 ~On B…eing Back, Virgil~

Nothing on my back, holding me back, or pushing me back. If I moved forward on everything like I did… ending B III’s suffering. Hell! I should be on my back for that instead of sitting on my ass. A zombie trying to get back. “On B…eing Back, Virgil.”

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Tale 088 ~On B…eing Back, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… and “I’m never going back again.” To being broke, Inspector. Depends on how you define broke.

I would have paid anything. Hell! I would have gone full-on John Q to save my son’s life, Inspector. Virgil is lucky if I consider buying him a new, comfy spot. I’m broke. Considering it’s Saturday, September 23, 2023, I will be soon. But the Day Job hours… I’ve never blamed anyone for Braxton’s death… besides myself and the Day Job taking me away. I never came back, you know. My Braxton is love, and the Day Job left me nothing but RAGE. And so I would come back exhausted. But not really. In thinking I was protecting my son, I would get stuck in a place known as indifference, dear Echo. And I have yet to come back from Braxton’s Euthanasia. I’m Still Standing

By the time you read this, it will have been 969 days. I could have spent every single one in bed. There were times Triple B was watching me trying to… Well, pills were taken. Only I survived. And if it wasn’t my Depression, it was laziness; nothing new, Inspector. Except the pain got worse. A broken heart, a befuddled mind. And my behind Inspector. Honest to God, that’s how long I’ve been sitting here, Inspector. I lament that one way or another, I will have to break my back, and for what? With B III, it made sense. And yes, Virgil is still here. But I need bug repellent, light bulbs, and new pants. I could go, Inspector. But I don’t want to ever.

Family? You want an honest confession. How long have I been here? My thirties, Inspector. And when was the last time I had RELATIONS? I had the maid in bed once. But that wasn’t the question, and she and I never. Braxton wouldn’t have minded if it had been his aunt. My honorary sister, mind you. But Braxton loves her, and I was shallow Inspector Echo. So I haven’t had RELATIONS in years, for all intents and purposes. There are life goals. Even now, I want to own an adult business, you know. Lying here, Inspector, always. Please! That would require getting off my back. So I can see women on theirs. Inspector, Am I Wrong? Zombie returning to the living? On B…eing Back, Virgil

969 Days Without B III, Day 410 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

Braxton would step on my face to wake me in the morning. A reason to stay on top of things like groomer appointments. Now I remember to look at the foot of the bed for V. Has the backyard fence fallen? Don’t Look Down? But then Look Out B…Low Virgil.

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Tale 087 ~Look Out B…Low Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that make up for me being less than 6′? 5′ 5″. And my enormous…

I’m in a randy mood. And also, I’m not a liar. Am I all cried out from Braxton today, hmm? Am I sweating bullets from whatever it is that will break next? Billionaires hate money? Yeah, that made me chuckle. But you don’t have to worry about me getting on a sub or going into space. As much as death… fascinates me. Drowning has to be one of the worst ways to go. And I gave up my astronaut aspirations so many years ago. Madness? Anyway, I’m not talking about Star Wars or Star Trek. You know I’ll obsess somewhat. No. That’s all saved for Braxton. But why am I looking down and not up? Plus, his box is still sitting here on the nightstand.

It was the same when he was alive. B was getting older, sicker, and dying, but I turned a blind eye to it. I mean everything. And then I caught his eye a certain way, and you know the song love. “When the walls come tumblin’ tumblin’ down.” And so it was with my firstborn. But what reminded me of Braxton today… As if I needed reminding, It was the freeloader. Virgil is one of our “children.” Okay, so I took him outside and came back in the house for something. Thirty-nine since E-Day, so forgive me, I’m old. Heading outside… Frightens me for all sorts of reasons. But today, Friday, September 22, 2023, it was the fence in the backyard. It doesn’t look right.

Hell! I haven’t looked right going on 968 and counting. I might fall anytime. Another reason I stay sitting in bed. And that’s not right at all, my love. What’s my Depression doing to our family? You can’t understand what Braxton’s death did to me. My boy always looked up or to the side because that’s where Daddy stays. And how did I reward him? By sending him to Hell? Because I know I’m not going anywhere else, baby girl. And I always like being warm. But can’t my wife’s arms or our children wrapped around my legs do the same? I cry, I throw money, and it’s only a matter of time before the fence finally falls. Cold and alone. Look Out B…Low Virgil

968 Days Without B III, Day 409 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 081 ~B’s In Art Virgil~

“The metal is ready for the Maker’s hand.” I am not an artist. I cannot make another Braxton. I’m not helping to make babies. And what about books? Between the tags I’m writing, titles for blog posts, and Titanic… um, never mind. “B’s In Art Virgil.”

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Tale 081 ~B’s In Art Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… so I’ll commission someone to paint “Backwards Beauty” for real. What do I know about art?

Well, I’m thirty-nine. Wow! Inspector, it hurts about as much as saying Braxton is dead. I go back and forth. But I know that the death of my son is worse. Right behind that is being born. And falling in third, for now… anything to do with my Enormous… umm… Anyway, so art? As I told Dear Future Wife, Braxton is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I may not be a smart man… Go on! But after you see someone like that. Hell! I can’t blame him for not getting back into writing. I wrote three or four books after his death/murder. No wonder I got the damaged or maybe fragile Virgil. I can’t be responsible for destroying anything so beautiful again.

And then bring on The Pic Phenomenon. Did I mention I’m not writing much, Inspector? That’s even when I have “inspiration” for a leading lady. I told one of the girls that these unsavory types don’t want “my” money. I’m not STUPID enough to give them a credit card. But they do allow me to create two pictures a day. Wins and losses, Inspector Echo.

A particular girl would be upset, but I’ve done worse. I was up late last night for several reasons. Not only this one. I was doing business with some more people. And even after buying the product, I haven’t used any of it. You see why I “steal adult entertainment.” Hell! My son’s dead. The freeloader’s here. But yes, Yabbos.

If there is a God… Yeah, the last time I tried talking to him, her, or it, Braxton lay dying. The point is such a force put more thought into Yabbos than my existence. Future? Sacrifice! Most noble if I have anything to say about it. To be made in such an image? “If there’s a God up there. Somethin’ above.” Is he paying Lucifer for temptation or what, huh? I wouldn’t be surprised. But I know what I’d pick if God came down, breast in one hand, Braxton in the other. “Now, with these hands, with these hands,” Inspector. Generating tags every day, what do I ask for? I can’t paint; there’s no prose. And to pet Braxton again… Beautiful, B’s In Art Virgil.

962 Days Without B III, Day 403 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

“You knock me off of my feet, now baby,” or “Take My Breath Away.” When I see a pretty girl, it’s more like Sade’s “Smooth Operator.” But there was when I first saw Braxton. When he died, it was “Song Unsung” Beautiful. Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

Tale 080 ~Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But one of the last things I would buy would be a mirror. Other than Mondays…

My love, I’d shave on Mondays when I had the old Day Job and wouldn’t bother looking into a mirror the rest of the week. How do THEY say… Money can make anyone beautiful. Right? Or should I say white, “right,” in a GOP way? I can’t avoid the ugly. Well, unless I’m crying about my boy. Next to you, Braxton, is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m being honest. Why do you think I stayed out of my “business” when he was around? I have seen angels three times in my existence. I’m not counting the Victoria’s Secret catalog -being young. I’ve mentioned thirty-nine sucks continuously? Anyway, there was the day I buried an angel. I married one. Then you birthed ours.

And it hurts. Heaven help me, it “Hurts Like Hell.” Every day, I fight to keep my eyes closed. And ain’t that a sin? I’ve sung it before and’ll say it again, “Feeling super, super, super suicidal.” But why when “There’s so much beauty in the world. I feel like I can’t take it.” “My” critic was telling me today, Sunday, September 17, 2023. I use too many pop culture references. And why don’t I use “my” own words? They are too damn ugly. And so I surround myself with beauty. My dame, dimes, dependents (our children), and death… well, only B III’s. “Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse,” I read. Stopping his heart couldn’t erase my Braxton’s beauty. I See Fire…

Or rather Braxton’s ashes sitting in a box on the nightstand or the pendant around my throat. Which I’m surprised your hands haven’t found… yet. Or am I your “pretty monster,” as in Tillie Cole’s book Jegudiel? There is beauty everywhere, my love, I know. And for how long now… 961 days, I’ve been searching. No! You’re here, our kids. Dealing with the Rebeccas the first time I saw Virgil. Hell! Seeing Braxton years ago. Love, I say it was love at first sight, but I was so blind to it back then. I guess I am now, but I’m trying. Braxton, the first billion, and the painting Backwards Beauty. It all nearly killed me. “What A Heavenly Way To Die.” Virgil, B…eing Beautiful Hurts.

961 Days Without B III, Day 402 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 074 ~Don’t B Jealous, Virgil~

Jealous? I can be far worse and, dare I say, greater. Can I ever be happy? I can’t tell you the last time I was. But I’m sure it was on some E-Day. And now that the thirty-ninth has passed… Geez, B III, how did you do fifteen? Don’t B Jealous, Virgil

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Tale 074 ~Don’t B Jealous, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m sure that involves all my sins. Treachery, Lust, Sloth, Wrath, Greed, Envy, Pride… More?

I still don’t see myself as a prideful person. My grandma told me I was. Considering how much I despise E-Day, I was “proud” to have a tray of cupcakes for myself. I did share… eventually. I talk to you and the rest of the girls. And for some inane reason. I think that someone is reading. There’s also the fact that if I dropped dead right now (fingers crossed). I want to believe that someone would care that wasn’t furry with four legs. Please!

Braxton was jealous that I began putting all my sins above him. Wanting the world to feel my wrath gave way to my Treachery. My betrayal of my firstborn son. And Virgil has every right to be jealous of Braxton.

But what do I know about fur babies, as I failed Braxton? And even if I were right, it’s not Virgil’s envy that’s in question but my own. All last night, it was, “Hey Jealousy.”

Why am I so into audiobooks? And, of course, the Day Job started forbidding earbuds. Can I give them the cupcakes back? Honest to God, I seek not happiness but the strength to endure. A moment in my existence, I don’t court death itself, Inspector.

Only it’s happiness that brings me to you, OK? Yep time-travel Sunday, September 10, 2023. Last night, I saw that Samantha and TBR Schmitt welcomed their daughter to the world. It was Madison’s birthday from MAC React. And isn’t she expecting a baby too? Wow!

Me and other people’s happiness. I should be ashamed, as I’ve been asking every day this month as I turned thirty-nine. What have you done? Not a damn thing, Inspector. And as the critic asked today… really. What is E-day? Emergence, Existence, Extinction? But let me try again. E-day is the day I was born. Inspector, nothing happy about it.

No girls are jealous, considering most are animated. I am bouncing back and forth between Koumi-jima Shuu 7 de Umeru Mesu-tachi and Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku. But if you want real, @bunnie_wifey vs. Momokun. Lust is right up there.

But jealous? That Braxton found death first, without me. “Drunk all and left no drop to help me after.” Being me. Don’t B Jealous, Virgil.

955 Days Without B III, Day 396 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

“Suga, Suga, how you get so fly?” And how come I’m not always high with your beautiful smile, bright eyes, and big… Anyway, I’m always in the dirt looking for my boy. Well, looking at his box on the nightstand. And with a 39th E-Day. “Hi Sugar, B, V”

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Tale 073 ~Hi Sugar, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how did I do it? Sleepless nights? A sugar high? And… uh… SEX, SEX, SEX!

Yeah, damn, my critic who didn’t talk to me today. Are you becoming “The Time Traveler’s Wife?” Today is Saturday, September 9, 2023. And I’m on a sugar rush, hmm? You can also thank the likes of Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku, specifically Hisato Azuma. That sex talk comes from her. Relax, my love, it’s all part of this existence. Am I in a better mood than I was during E-Day week? The second worst week of existence? Done! But really? My firstborn son is still dead. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about my little Braxton not being here. As a matter of fact, I’ll have to get up soon to cut the grass. Aren’t we rich? Fresh air. To think…

Once upon a time, I got high off nature. That’s what today is all about —not raising my spirits. And more to the point, staying awake. But if anything, I MUST get out of bed. Mission Accomplished! But today is now Sunday, September 10, 2023. And I did cut the grass yesterday. And while I believe that pain wakes me one hundred percent. Thank you, Divergent. Being all itchy doesn’t help. All the bug bites in the world, my love. Yesterday, I still went out like a light. That’s why we’re talking today. Not Saturday. Really, “Sweet Love?” It’s more like sweet blood. Mosquitos seem to think so, my love. And speaking of love, isn’t that what gets you up? Love for them and me.

Do I sound like some Neanderthal who thinks “A Woman’s Place” should be about her husband and children? I saw that video the other day from Julia Mazur about singlehood. It’s a miracle you haven’t left me yet, and why? Depression, sadness, mourning 954 Days. Honest to God, my love, “I get high, high, high.” Or I did because of Braxton. And so I’m singing and ignoring my critic, “I’d never leave my block, my niggas need me.” I’m here. I stand, I’m sweet, I’m a damn superhero because of our children, four and two-legged. Sexual Healing? And I have my incredibly sexy wife. You’re my sugar, keeping me up. Hell! My life’s blood is my business. But my firstborn’s higher… Hi Sugar, B, V

954 Days Without B III, Day 395 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will