Log 278 ~The Apocalypse Will Be~

One more week and I’m still well, writing, waking up later but getting a full night’s sleep even though I don’t want it because dare I say it, these words will be the end of me, while planning an Apocalypse. The Apocalypse Will Be

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Log 278 ~The Apocalypse Will Be~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but before that, I wasn’t much of nothing. Lady Luna, I don’t mean to be harmful, and I don’t want to sound like the “President,” either. This morning though, I had an epiphany, or I was dreaming about The Walking Dead. Perhaps great men are made by other great men. I’m well aware that’s from The Postman. Anyway, I was thinking about several things. Why I like the rain, why times such as this don’t scare me, why I’m a writer, where is that “dang” humming? So these words came out.

“You have to be larger than life, in the land of the dead.” Will Bradford

Today I want to talk about how I saw the apocalypse, working out. If anything, I’m a bit of a fan. I’ve heard and said often enough that “we need a new plague.” I’m well, thank you for asking, some allergies here or there. Can I sing out, I’ll Always Love My Mama, she said I never get sick? I see myself riding out the Coronavirus (COVID-19) like Matt Damon in Contagion. I tell you, My Lady, it sucks having all these ideas but no time. Am I using an old and tired excuse? No, I’m working on The Eve of a Cherry. I’m disappointed in myself as I didn’t make it to Five Thousand Words last night. Sticking to the matter at hand, well, hopefully not literally, I still imagine the end of the world in a brothel. In the first two chapters, though, I have already “buried” two bodies and one woman I didn’t even give a name.

“I made myself into a monster because that is what the world needed. I built something. I saved people. My name meant something.” ― Negan

In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock. ― Tyrion Lannister

Indiana Gone knows I’m a true believer in zombies and said that I really want them. It’s not that I’m bored, but when AMC can’t show the last episode of The Walking Dead. We should also keep the thought I’m a general misanthrope. I’ve also figured that some aliens might go all The 5th Wave on our butts someday. Well, minus the actual 5th because that didn’t make sense to me in their plan of attack. Also, the truth is I never finished the series. I’m still trying to finish The Gargoyle for the third time. Finally, what about a Machine War or better a Machine Love Fest? I did enter that RealDollX Sweepstakes; Sex Robot?

“She was trapped. Hungry. Alone. Like me. She was the last thing left in this world that I loved. She protected me. She got me here. Made me larger than life and I made this place.” The Well, King Ezekiel

“People want someone to follow. It’s the human nature. They want someone to make them feel safe. People who feel safe are less dangerous, more productive. They see a dude with a tiger, they start telling stories about finding it in the wild. Wrestling it into submission, turning it into his pet. They make the guy larger-than-life. A hero! Who am I to burst their bubble?” The Well, King Ezekiel

I’ve written better endings, but still The Apocalypse Will Be?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

Well, a whole week off from work, how am I feeling? I’m still basking in the glow of a finished project that’s written worse than the plumber, pizza man, and the professor, you see where this is going. Content Of Will’s Characters

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Log 271 ~Content Of Will’s Characters~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but people are a resource. Now I’m not Negan, and you know my ideas when it comes to people are vast, varied, and on some days are downright vicious. I’m the type of “man” that puts a value on everything, especially my inclinations of “charity.” For the most part, I donate to NaNoWriMo and helping dogs and cats. I’ll help a pretty girl, but of course, I want to see her without her clothes. You know I’m not opposed to paying for sex; I never have. I’ve paid if anything for the illusion of sex. Well, you’re asking yourself what brought this on? Buckle up Buttercup; we’re going for a ride.

What turns me on more than women? Show me the money? Yes, Lady Luna, it’s a pittance to the 1%, but $1,200 is what it is. While I seem to be full of quotes today, here’s another, if I were a rich man. I would do the same thing because I’m greedy, gluttonous, and somewhat of a god. Okay, too much? “I’m egotistical, I’m a narcissist, I’m a big deal.” So this leads me to my Novella, The Eve Of A Cherry. Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to change the title? Then again, Lady Lu, OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT. I killed a pregnant girl, her lover, and her Mum, A fictional work to anyone working for the FBI. If you want some facts, how about being tempted to bribe Cherry again? I help women in trouble for a fee, and what does that make me indeed. I can go from Cherry to MILF Dos, Special K, M Anime, Court on Patreon after her story, that woman in the Walmart parking lot. I even got back a small donation. It came from this woman on Facebook. Yeah, I was looking to negotiate with her a bit.

You’ll never hear me say that I’m a good man Lady Lu. Every other day I talk about the characters I write not being good people. To make matters worse. What about the characters I don’t TAKE out, that TOOK the places of others, that get another TALE. For example, Airi Akitsuki, Ren Hasumi; do yourself a favor; don’t look them up. A reason I’m talking so early to you today is that I want to create a character compendium.

Doubtful because I’m back to Day One of you know what. Content Of Will’s Characters.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

How many times at the Day Job did I utter the words just another day, so when I came back to the house, exhausted who could blame me for not working on my dream. Now I’m too busy watching Shusaku until 2:00 in the morning. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses yep

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which in this country means I must not be working too hard. Let me say this out in the open, my biggest excuse for not doing something was the Day Job. So here I am, three days in isolation, I still have eight days before I hear from work and what have I accomplished? I guess this is a good experiment seeing where I stand on writing full time. Five thousand words daily, I haven’t gotten close. What about reading The Gargoyle or listening to another book, well I’m here now.

As I said, I should have all of my work by now. The words I do get on the page, around 1500, are so despicable and vile. Yes, I know, leave it to Lady Sophia, but yeah, I’m embarrassed. I guess that doesn’t go away even when I’m all alone, my son and me. Speaking of friends, shouldn’t I be getting back to M Anime? She’s still on the front lines, and I can’t say, I’m exhausted, I nap all day, case and point. I even dreamed that you and I had this conversation Echo. Well, Michonne was high last night (today’s Monday) talk about losing time. I already talked about reading, didn’t I? My life comes back to that always. The words are calling me, and still, I won’t listen to Eric Thomas. You have to learn to give up sleep; when will I.

After The Walking Dead, I could have gone to bed, but I decided to “research” my novella, right? There’s this one scene in “Shusaku Replay 3” (if you look that up, it’s your fault. Anyway, it’s between Kaori Maejima and Ayaka Minami. Okay, if I’m not watching stuff like that, how about catching up on “better” TV. I miss Into The Badlands, The Handmaid’s Tale, A Million Little Things. Thanks to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) wrestling will never be the same. Inspector Echo they are even postponing The Olympics. Finally, why aren’t I watching more of the news? Working at the Day Job, dealing with my Olds and everything else, it felt like my world was falling apart every day. I’m starting to have nightmares these days instead of staying informed.

Inspector Echo, I’m sorry I blame my Day Job and that I even stick with it. I apologize for my excuses. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses

I Will Have No Fear

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Last week I said I’m not sleepy, but sure I am exhausted tonight, but I wrote 400 words for my novella; yep when I would once write full chapters, but I got two weeks to make up for it, but what about the end of the world? Will You Be Scared hmm

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and rich people are the biggest scaredy-cats. When it happens to me, Lady Lu, not if, but when; well must I sing. “No, I won’t be afraid, Oh, I won’t be afraid,” what do you think? I’m finding it hard to be fearful today (Thursday). The Day Job is closing up shop for two weeks because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). No more excuses right, two weeks to write, to become a better man, a worthy father, etc. Staying like this, spooky.

As The Walking Dead says Fight The Dead Fear The Living, so I have plenty.

No Lady Lu, the streets aren’t flooded with Walkers, for now. Let’s start with when I came back to the house today. I began working on my novella. You want to know what scares me about that. I nearly exploded in my pants, and I still have doubts about my writing. Shouldn’t I fear that all the rest of the stores are closing up? Again today, I’m not eating. I still have food, of course, but it’s as if I have no time. It’s one of the reasons I’m talking to you last, no offense Lady Lu. I know I wouldn’t go to bed before our chat. What about reading The Gargoyle? I felt the temptation to listen to it on Audible. Instead, I started, Prisoner by Annika Martin and Skye Warren. Am I scared that I’ll start procrastinating as I did with Dark Notes? Speaking of listening, I haven’t mentioned the humming that much.

What if I never have a quiet moment in this house again. I have at least half a dozen projects in this place, and still, I want my money. Yeah, and what am I trying to spend money on again, as always. I’m not worried about toilet paper or water. There was a moment yesterday; I felt like The Postman (1997). ‘Things are getting better, getting better all the time.” I found bottled water and generic TP and thought okay, not so bad. Only everyone is telling me the world is ending and what do I say to that. I’m not scared, but I’m not ready, but I instead face the dark days than a “good” day at work. My life is nothing to write about, but here we are.

At the moment, like yesterday, I’m tired, but 400 words richer; Will You Be Scared.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 261 ~Will Throws A Rager~

I could keep my head underwater for a bit longer, or I could go to sleep, even in my noise-filled Den the humming doesn’t stop me from sleeping, or I could have knocked myself out with my tablet. Will Throws A Rager

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Log 261 ~Will Throws A Rager~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and money makes me happy. What about My Dæmon, solitude, and women, in all their many shapes and forms? My motivations talk about creating happiness but three things. One, everything that brings about that feeling, people say is wrong. It’s kind of hard to imagine those things when knowing with them, you’re “evil.” Two, I don’t even remember what it felt like Inspector Echo. I get wisps now and again sometimes, but I don’t know. Three, there’s rage like you would not believe, anger, hate, suffering.

Yes, Inspector Echo, Star Wars, but I’m drowning in this rage, and of course, it begins with FEAR. I am not one for grossness, but when I have to go to the Day Job, I get sick to my stomach. In my bag, I carry Sprite and plastic bags. Of course, I have the perfect word and excuse me, but shit. I’m sharing my feelings, but at least I ain’t crying, and yeah, you know what is going to nail me for that word. I could think of a few hundred reasons to scream at the moment, but I’m too hot. Not in a DECENT way. I’m talking about blood boiling and how far can I take that thought. Well, nowhere near a conclusion. Otherwise, I’ll be explaining myself like Hilary Swank in The Hunt. Remember what I learned from Cherry; when you believe no one is reading, they’re here.

Now I could go to bed. I fell asleep on the loveseat again reading The Gargoyle. Inspector Echo I think the world of the book, but that’s the thing about rage. It burns everything. It’s a desert; it’s a Hell. So what about an oasis? Once again, the best release is one I’m swearing off again. The money I do have, well, I don’t know where it’s going. Isn’t that a lie, like everything else it’s all about the ladies. A time of crisis and I deal in Babes, Biology, Bucks, and Bullets. If anything, I need to hit the store tomorrow and see if I can find supplies. My son is good at the moment, but what about me, Inspector Echo. I skipped dinner, and yes, I have food. I’m only full of such anger. It’s like my big sister tried to figure out.

An average day or The Apocalypse, Will Throws A Rager.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 176 ~With A Little Faith Maybe~

Merry Christmas that is if Santa finds his way in, does he work for Amazon, is he delivering a pizza, sure he’s magic right, though it hasn’t hit me on today of all days, where once was the faith of a child is now this. With A Little Faith Maybe

Monday, December 24, 2018

Episode 176 ~With A Little Faith Maybe~

Sixty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, wasn’t it only yesterday I mentioned the Prosperity Ministry, how about finally publishing a book, and thinking about today I could create a holiday or merely exploit one. Before I forget, because I surely will, it’s Christmas Eve, which means tomorrow… ah Christmas, talk about having faith when I was a child, I believed in a fat man with presents, that is until I thought my parents wouldn’t know I played with my Nintendo 64 and put it back in the box and I knew I wouldn’t feel like this, no I loved Christmas.

Notice that I said I loved Christmas, I never loved Jesus or God, even when I worked for that Christian bookstore and had my “incredible” religious phase, the “Left Behind” series, hell Madam Justice all my work in Erotica has undertones of Christianity. Once upon a time I believed we would have flying cars by now and all sorts of technology… well greater I suppose but then I look at people, I look at myself. As far as Christmas goes, I want to have faith that I’ll get everything I want tonight, a clean house; I need to talk to you and the Future Wife, and tomorrow… well, that explains why I feel sick, why I’m afraid gasps new people.

Is that my problem with the holidays, with almost every single one, with a little faith maybe we are meant to be new people, Christmas we’re supposed to become Santa, New Year’s we have a chance at a clean slate, Valentine’s, etc. Every morning I wake up wanting to be someone better I know that but according to one of my Motivations, faith without work is dead, but you need that belief to get started idea vs. execution. I have thoughts, wishes, and hopes but they all get jumbled around until it’s a mess of grey and that is the road I tread right now.

Madam Justice I am far from believing in Santa on his sleigh in the skies above, I don’t think I’m walking in the sand with Jesus and do we need to talk about my swimming aversion, wisdom, and success as much as you want air… I believe that we are never alone in this vastness, that at this moment there is some killer virus waiting to get out, how about that The Purge can happen and we may face a zombie apocalypse, so why not look to me to live; Merry Christmas Eve, Merry Christmas, With A Little Faith Maybe.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 022 ~Things Could Always Be Worse~

Things are getting better; things are getting better every day. Today wasn’t so bad, but I worry and why; when awful is the norm, but you see the light where the darkness ends it’s the sun, stars for wishes, a train. “Things Could Always Be Worse.”

Monday, July 23, 2018

Episode 022 ~Things Could Always Be Worse~

Forty-Second Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason things could always be worse, from fighting so hard to have a voice and then not liking what you have to say, to deciding you’re going to stand up but having nothing to stand for, from getting up early and not accomplishing anything. I don’t mean with us Madam Justice; I could be enjoying an extra hour of sleep seeing as how the day job awaits but I’d Rather Be With You, do you feel special?

I could be worrying about a million things, but I’m here now, and the world doesn’t feel like it’s falling apart, last night, for example, was worse, customers, the bastard I work for, other employees, I can honestly appreciate changing one mind more than several. According to all of those motivational speeches, you have to believe that the future will be better than the past which I find accurate, so how about my concept that the world will end in the next five minutes, to think an apocalypse is better than now? How about the fact that I have no clue what the day job will bring, good thing I’m talking to you now because who knows the state I will come back in, Angry, Bothered, Confused, A, B, C.

I heard in a movie once that things are getting better every day, a simple idea but again motivational speaking, don’t say failure but “success in progress” instead of things getting worse hold on to what’s getting better. Start each day feeling grateful, and I am, I was able to eat a muffin and drink some water, my version of breakfast but it beats going in empty, we might finish this chat, and I get tomorrow off, meaning time to write. The sad thing is I’m still not sure even at this point would I count dead as worse, but there is plenty I want and considering I’m still Alive there’s time to want everything living or want nothing dying, that is a fair question.

Rule Forty-Two is all about being grateful to the moment knowing that things at least in my life find a way of crashing down so enjoy now but don’t be like Angel and gain that moment of perfect happiness because what happens then? At least it means I haven’t sold my soul to Satan yet… or my “father” didn’t destroy it all because we know Things Could Always Be Worse.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 267 ~We’re Canceling The Apocalypse~

Every day is an opportunity to change and every day the world might end, but I think I’m too scared to do one and strangely enough, I think I might find a way to deal with the other one if the time comes. We’re Canceling The Apocalypse

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Lesson 267 ~We’re Canceling The Apocalypse~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, but I will not die today either, you think maybe tomorrow and why, perhaps because you’re out of drugs, you know you’ll find yourself in the same place just later, and probably it’s just because you have survived worst. Isn’t that what life is, half the time people saying if you want something, “go get it,” and the other half “if it’s meant to be it will be.”

It could be a little of both you know; you walk through the fire of the next horror only to get through and wait for the next thing that is rarely good or maybe the truth is you’re running like something out of The Langoliers. How about Happy Death Day, possibly, if every day remains the same that would explain so much, you’re hurting, and it takes more time to recover because you die a little more each day but don’t we all. You might be trying to avoid what dreams may come; I know I’m honestly on a movie kick instead of music but while we are here making a list, six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 015 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
Failed
4. I Will Get Ready For Camp NaNoWriMo
Completed
5. I Will Finish My Tomb Raider Review
Completer
6. I Will Stay Gainfully Employed
Completed

Do you see how close you are in finding full completion but you don’t have to be afraid, this isn’t your bucket list this is merely showing that the world didn’t end and that as much as you wish it would there is a way? You know the rule “Rule 158 I’m Will, There’s A Way” and even if you’re not “high” like you were today, what are the odds that you won’t survive tomorrow, live every day as if it were your last am I right? “We can’t all be like that English tart you’ll be talking to tomorrow, “Everyday Will Be Like A Holiday” and such, that truly would be some makeshift apocalypse; “Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven,” did I hear a rule?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 015 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Survive Inventory Tomorrow
4. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
5. I Will Review Pacific Rim: Uprising
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Once

What’s the worst that can happen if I ever complete these six impossible things, you know what is impossible finally eating before work and not getting sick but it happened; how about making it without going to the store until Thursday, you’ll see. Did you see Talia Lin Pepke in the store today, probably not but would the world have ended if you tried talking to her, opportunity tsk, tsk.

The world is ready for a difference, are you craving a change, and if you complete these six impossible things somehow, what’s next “The Twelve Labors of Hercules” sometimes you think bring it on and others We’re Canceling The Apocalypse.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 084 ~Fingers Crossed, Zombie Apocalypse~

“And I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord”, that’s sort of sad, as sad as “the dreams in which I’m dying, are the best I’ve ever had”, I think the apocalypse may need a better soundtrack “Fingers Crossed, Zombie Apocalypse”

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Lesson 084 ~Fingers Crossed, Zombie Apocalypse~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear because I wouldn’t want to get my hopes too high again, as the song goes, “it’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”. Isn’t it strange that when it’s just me I’m the most afraid yet with the general population I’m actually quite excited for an ending if anything?

“It’s Hebrew, it’s from the Talmud. It says, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.”” Itzhak Stern, Schindler’s List

It’s like driving in the rain you know, when I drive on any normal day there is anxiety but since I’ve faced death in my old car on more than one occasion it doesn’t bother me but the rain makes everybody else just a little bit slower and I’m a little bit faster. This is how I always imagine the world ending, seeing as how I feel I have never been meant for this world, but with the countless times I have survived attempting to take my own life, getting by without family or friends, I think I’ll be better at the end. Only today is not the end, truthfully I’ve been too lazy to look up the reasoning behind it, another song from “The Leftovers” let the mystery be.

If you did ask me what I want, I mean besides the zombies if I knew indeed that the world is going to end, I think I would want to be someone’s first pick, to be honest. I was talking to “Indiana Gone” last night and she says something like, “we can hang out if you want”, texting sometimes… Anyway, I got the distinct impression I was her second choice of things to do and really who am I to complain. “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” I might have to make that a rule but while I love Braxton like pancakes, I’m still looking for that one person that… believes, wants, needs, loves me, your pick.

“I promise not to steal anything if you promise not to rape me.

Agreed.” – Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

New Year’s Eve I figure I’m going to do better, during these “Sapphire” days I figure I might accomplish something, one time when I tried to overdose on NyQuil capsules (puked green for a week) I went and got Taco Bell (unrelated) brought a fancy glass and started popping pills while I watched “Private Practice” my perfect night back then.

“What are you doing?

Guys, what would you wish you’d done before you died?

Paint a self-portrait.

Build a house.

And you?

I don’t know. Turn the wheel now, come on!

You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?

I don’t know, I wouldn’t feel anything good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? Fine. Come on!

Not good enough.” Fight Club

So what have we learned today, that times change how I want to see the last night of my life but I doubt it will be tonight, that me dying sucks but watching the world, I guess as long as it’s not “The Road” is okay, and I hope to see you tomorrow Lu but again Fingers Crossed, Zombie Apocalypse.

“Tonight’s your big night. Are you ready for it?… Are we ready for it?” – Finch, V for Vendetta (2005)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 069 ~For A Reasonable Apocalypse~

Not too big, not too small, not too nothing, I mean who says no to free pizza at any point, I will remain silent on pineapple but I wish I could say more about yesterday. For “A Reasonable Apocalypse”, just another day I survived of course.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Lesson 069 ~For A Reasonable Apocalypse~

“I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.” Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, it isn’t that kind of lesson, though in a way I thought it would be or so I was hoping but no, the world is the same as before, I’m a little older, dare I say a little wiser? I figured I would be busier tomorrow, no promises to stop the innuendo but I would have been better off talking to you yesterday, I had all the time in the world for an apocalypse, just a small one I guess.

Most days I would have been in bed, my personal cave, just hoping the day would go away, this is one of the problems with leaving the cave, you figure there is something out there in the world. You have high hopes and then… personally, I don’t know how I feel about yesterday other than the fact that I’m glad it’s over. The most exciting thing that has happened to me is I thought I lost Braxton, and I already growing so forgetful already, sad.

So I count up the wins, nothing like last year, of course, a Pizza Hut coupon for Cinnamon Sticks which is probably no good, I did get free pizza from “Indiana Gone” and some other snacks because she got stuck at work, plus she got her young Padawan to sing to me. “M Anime” sent money, “Okay” went to Amazon, and two “working girls” sent their regards, I knew I was forgetting to erase my name from somewhere. I have a coupon for a small popcorn at my movie theater, and even my mother sent a few words, knowing how I would be feeling about one of her biggest mistakes.

As for minuses, “Gospel Girl” forgot all about me and I wasn’t going to remind her of course, my “father” sent the worse words in the world but that’s him being him, and a “working girl” I actually called the day of, forgot me as well. In case you didn’t know, I hate that damn day, hell I hate this whole month, and I would say the worse is over but is it ever really over, getting paid to sit on my ass but that’s if I made any amount to be bragging about ever.

“I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down
I feel my heart start to trembling
Whenever you’re around”
sung by Carole King, I Feel The Earth Move

So what have we learned today, my world wasn’t rocked, when you think you hear the voice of the Almighty you might just be talking to yourself, and people mean well but you’re better off being the lone survivor, wanderer, whatever from the Fallout series. Some days it pays to just ride it out in your cave and just think some “For A Reasonable Apocalypse”.

Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”
Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

I Will Have No Fear