“I want you to recognize the difference between what you feel and what’s real.” I feel courage, but I ain’t got the guts. I’m horny, but I’m lying here on my… man parts. I’m in love, but in how many ways has my heart broken. Loser. “L’s Between B, V”
Tuesday, May 20, 2025
Meditation 323 ~L’s Between B, V~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s why we must tell our children about the birds and the bees. That conversation.
“But, uh, has anyone talked to you about the birds and the bees?”
“Oh, you mean dicks and vaginas?”
― The Last of Us (2025)
Thank you, but I prefer it my way
Andre Baptiste Sr., Lord of War (2005)
The first time I gave something even remotely similar to that speech was with Braxton.
More to the point of Ain’t nobody “Humpin’ Around.” What can I say? Like father like son, my love. Braxton was supposed to be my breast… Excuse me. My Best Man. And he and I were both big fans of Yabbos. And he B III liked his aunt. A lot. I had to tell him.
What about Virgil? He won’t need that speech, I’m afraid. The ole snip, snip, treatment. Is it any wonder that my secondborn lost his balls? Braxton had some huge cojones.
Seriously, what’s with all this talk about my boys’ anatomy? Trying to be lighthearted, ha!
I’m so “Heavy In Your Arms.” So “Let’s Get Lost.”
The Twilight Soundtrack? That’s the lightest of it, my love. I want to lose my crown. I’ve never been a good man, but how dare I refuse to be king. I don’t have the heart for it. Mine was broken when I lost my firstborn son, little Braxton. Now yours, our kids, trying to mend Virgil’s. A jar of hearts. And no, not like Christina Perri, more like Marianne Engel.
Do you remember when we read Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle? That Marianne. Do you remember her man, the pornographer? Eff! How I want to get lost in you, baby doll.
“If you have any idea what I want to do to you right now. I can’t live like this.”
Will Traynor, Me Before You (2016)
Fingers, tongue, and, uh, penis. As the Isley brothers said, “Enough of this singin’, let’s make love.” But “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” I have.
“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” And I can hear you now if I quote one more song…
But what would be left of me? I can’t tell you the critics. And the one who I could tell…
There’s SADNESS, FEAR, and LUST. So, as I have a week to lie here, I don’t have a week to lie here. So what do I do, my love? What do we do? I can’t do this. But husband, father…
What should I read some more? This morning, it was more about pet loss. When I close my eyes, there’s another ding that scares me. And looking at your beauty. And not being able to do anything Less, Loser, Lost, Me. L’s Between B, V.
1570 Days Without B III, Day 1011 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will