What time is it? And would it matter where I am now? Oh, what? Am I going to blame it on the rain? Even Virgil is done as he lies here sleeping. And me? I’m older after Emergence Day. But B III was here for 15 years. “Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time”
Thursday, September 19, 2024
Meditation 080 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~
1327 Days Without B III, Day 768 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How about me? Me, Myself, And I. We’d talk after I was sad, mad, bad…
Ironic, isn’t it? It was when I felt nothing and became indifferent until your time came. Mourning? Morning? What day is it? Right now. It’s Friday, September 13, 2024, and it’s raining cats and dogs…
Braxton, it’s that time again when fear creeps in. It’s a feeling that never changes. Only the circumstances do. And today, as my ‘favorite’ song goes… ‘Today is all about you.’ Well, me, but you understand. If we had a song, Little B, it would be ‘Run Boy Run by Woodkid. Because that’s what it always felt like. You and me against the world, but we hadn’t the strength, but someday. Always, it was someday. Look at the time, Braxton.
No, I need to look. This is my time, month, and the meaning of Emergence Day… I swear B III… Your Dad came into the world a waste of time. A C-Section. Testament of laziness.
On my part, of course. I love your grandma. And I’m sure she believes it’s about time I grow up. “When will you grow?” I’m sure your stepmom is somewhere asking that while she waits for me. I’m forty, Braxton. Can you believe that? And yet I asked the question…
“When will you grow?” Because you were always a puppy to me until one day, inevitably, you weren’t anymore. Time Enough At Last… When I’d have wealth, women, war dog.
Braxton, I would be happy. Time to die or happiness?
What time is it now? Now, “I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!” Don’t I wish, B III.
You know I have yet to make an “Emergence Day” wish. But then again, I haven’t had a slice of cake yet. But by the time you get this, Braxton, who knows? Wishing for time!
Braxton, I always find myself wishing for your return. What have I been hoping for, really? Stuff & Thangs, but…
Braxton, it’s more time or money…. Time is money. And what have I been spending time on? Worrying about the fence. Ogling women who are nowhere near your stepmom… Eww! Dreaming of ways to make money since I’m always sleeping. But when I wake up… Git Up, Get Out, right? Maybe tomorrow we gon’ be alright. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time.
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad