Tag: Chronicle

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

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Was I locked in here with B III, or was he locked in here with me? I swear that’s about eight pop culture digs? Math has never been my subject of choice. Now porn, for the perves, Maiko Kaneda. Should I go stand in the corner? To B Cornered Sometimes

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I got an angel on my shoulder, God up above me, someone by my side…

That’s B in the corner. You know I went through Losing My Religion a long time ago. Should I apologize for the song? It’s been playing in my head all morning, and yes, I was up at 4:00am. Of course, what have I been doing? Between fashion and Maiko Kaneda… We’ll get to that. Of course, the day starts off with B. Once again, I burst into tears at having to wake up without him. Or, as I said before, thinking of my Day Job lurking in the corner. Like the Terminator, “I know now why you cry.” B III knew so much, Luna. Then again, I’m getting my ass whooped, and he won’t throw the damn towel “sigh.” How many pop culture references today?

Maiko Kaneda

That’s why I don’t want V in my corner. You know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. B as in Braxton and V as in Virgil. If I ever had another kid… I can make all the excuses I want, but the main one? Betrayal, Lunalesca, the ninth circle of Hell is Treachery. I know this. Then again, I finished that book “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?” this week. Excuse me for keeping track of my fandoms:

Losing My Religion
Discipline: The Record of a Crusade “Maiko Kaneda”
Rocky
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?

And to add another one to the list, “What Dreams May Come.” I keep saying this place is Hell, don’t I? It’s betrayal if I don’t look? Come “Find Me.

But there’s “P” in the corner. TMI, right Lunalesca? I would give anything to change Braxton’s pee spot again. I still have it on my phone to check. And then there’s my issue with such things. I swear sometimes it’s like I’ll never feel “normal.” It’s all my fault, ok? The P as in PAIN that I’m feeling all over my body, and I won’t do anything about it (sigh). Oh, I could write some prose and make some money. Camp NaNoWriMo is here, but… Porno is so easy to find. That explains what I wasted an hour doing. There is so much to do, but I would rather be punished. Stay here without TV, listening to Jacob pop inside Succubi. To B Cornered Sometimes.

Gospel 275 ~Learning To Speak Braxton~

426 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

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Am I writing a new novel today? With the way, I’ve been feeling and considering when I’m writing this. Now I could talk about B III forever. Point out a post before January 31, 2022, where he isn’t mentioned. And there’s always Gulp… B III Of Stories

Friday, April 1, 2022

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But this moment, that’s only “another” word like so many I’ve written. Where to begin today?

Time Travel? Of course, seeing how today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. So, of course, you know why we’re speaking today. Existence is nothing to write home about. But fiction? Considering that it will officially be Camp NaNoWriMo season by the time you read this. So should I write a new novel as per usual? Everything within me screams absolutely! Only I did say fiction, right? I’m still cringing over my stupidity and/or horniness this morning over Cherry. I’m checking every now and again. I’m worried about losing a friend. Hell, if that whole series I wrote didn’t do it… And I’ve forgotten plenty of it. I should start publishing books then, you say? How about writing another one about a B III universe? Gah!

I want to publish, My Turn To B III. It’s only gotten longer if you count every letter I’ve written to Braxton by now. But that’s not going to get done with me staying in bed all day yet again. Wouldn’t I be better off working at the dining room table than the Day Job? My Grandma always said I was one for pride, so is it that when I say no nine to five? Sophia, I could take Braxton into the fiction world. You remember how A Dog’s Journey got to me. Talk about reasons not to see films. Clarity June got to me, and then there is X. Do you remember the horror movie I want to see? But without writing any story?

This brings me to Gulp. I paid those people off years before my son passed. I swear if I had a dollar,… more like if I had my money back for everything I’ve wasted on certain sexual novelties or time. There’s $200 somewhere with a particular sex worker. Thousands more on a pretty sizable investment. I like Eric Vall, but he stole a twenty. I could go on; anyway, back to writing. Finishing Gulp and sending it off is always in my Six Impossible Things. Who knows, that book could have saved Braxton. Again my fucking Day Job. You tell me to get to writing. How about back to reading and listening? Most of the time, I only sleep. Like today… B III Of Stories.

Gospel 274 ~Are You Kidding, Braxton~

425 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

WillLeave a comment

Could I publish a book in a month? Hell, I had three chances to in 2020. I wouldn’t have been filled with so much hate for my Day Job if I had. I would have noticed my son sooner. I’ll read a new book but do I need to write one. “Been There B’s That”

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Chronicle 273 ~Been There, B’s That~

424 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As always, B, we’re speaking early. So today’s been the worst day of my life.

I haven’t decided yet, with today being Friday, March 25, 2022. Yeah, what did time matter to you? Sun comes up; later on, I’d have a book. If you had a ton of food, the day must be special. Then again, when your time was almost up, I know the look you gave me B. It’s my third time crying today, first this morning, then napping, and now waterworks B. And maybe I wouldn’t have to if my “plan” pans out. Hell, it’s not even my idea. If I’m being honest. I’m guessing by the time you read, hear, I’m not sure? Most of the books I’ve read said that you’re super smart now, wherever you are. Anyway, I’ve been reading “Will Your Dog Reincarnate?”

It was written by a “Ph.D.” And you know I could use a doctor, right about now. Am I sick? You saw me through COVID-19. It’s not over yet, though. Plus, fuck the GOP/GQP, B. Please don’t repeat my foul language, B III, ok? But what I mean is the author, Gail Graham, talks about how to bring you back to me. Announce my intention, write it down, believe… Haven’t I done all that? Not one day has passed; your water bowl hasn’t been filled. I think of you every day. Every Thursday, and yes again time-travel. I will talk to you about everything. Every Saturday, facing those “Rebeccas,” I look for you at PetSmart. Were you “Chase” or the little doggie that bit me? The chubby one, the ghost?

And with Camp NaNoWriMo about to startup? I survived two without you here, and then there was the Official NaNoWriMo. I doubt you would want to sit through any of that again. That’s why I’m trying to decide what to do today or on the 31st. A book. Comedy comes in threes, THEY say. I could write a whole new book. My strength? Braxton, I doubt I could do it. And oh yeah, B, I paid those people for the book Gulp (sigh). Then there’s your book, My Turn To B III. What is it with me and closure? As I said, Gail Graham wrote her book, but I assume her dog reincarnated. But to return to me, Braxton, would you? Been There, B’s That.

Gospel 273 ~For Once B Write~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

WillLeave a comment

It’s been 423 days since the best man I know, B III, died. And it’s been a solid month, not counting that 161 days I abstained after his death. I know the kind of man I am, and it ain’t nowhere close to good, case in point, this morning. B A Good Man

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Chronicle 272 ~B A Good Man~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I need some titles like Jacob Ralston has in Succubus Lord. Thinking of sex already…

And what time is it? So that will be my second apology of the day. The first is that I’m either wasting a good title or repeating it, “B A Good Man” Inspector, being good… Hell no! Before the humiliations of Tuesday, sigh, I caught a look at myself mirror-wise. That’s what inspires me today. “The Horror, The Horror,” saying I’m not a good man. Pardon my wordage but fuck me. I don’t know how I say I’m a man at all. Well, most days. As far as being good… Braxton would still be alive. It always comes back to my son, doesn’t it? The fact that I haven’t cried yet shows my tears were more about my life. Don’t worry; Braxton always gets his.

In fact, before I turned back to the sex… I spoke of Succubus Lord, and I’m on #10 now. Anyway, I was looking up the price for Cuddle Clones. All my memorials for Braxton, sigh. No, I am not good at all. Keeping my dick in my pants doesn’t count when the AM is this:

1: Dreaming about “doing” Dakota Skye at my Day Job.
2: Looking up money shots, Helter Skelter (Hakudaku no Mura), Bible Black, Tifa

3: Finding the cover shots of the Succubus Lord girls
4: “Planning on seeing X (2022)
5: Watching Hentai “Nuns” violated
6: Listing out dirty fantasies… “wakefulness.”

I was awake last night, which explains why I’m only waking up now. Did I mention I miss Dirty Diana?

Not that I will give up talking to my son for anything. I should be more like Cherry and blab my thoughts on Twitter to save time. Even then, “Temptations End.” Twenty-four hours wasted Echo. I didn’t even eat dinner yesterday as I was so disgusted with such humiliations galore. Next week will be worse, and this week isn’t over yet. My whole life is one fucking waste of time. Well, fifteen years seeing about my boy, and here come my tears. Have I been a good man these past 423 days without him? I don’t want to go look in the mirror once again. There was a point Monday I thought I was healing from my “affliction.” I’d need to B A Good Man.

Gospel 272 ~Braxton In The Mercedes~

423 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

WillLeave a comment

If you asked me right this second, who or what I loved? My Ma? Then why aren’t I a better human being? My writing? Then why do I still have my effing Day Job? B III? Where’s my tattoo, my gold chain? Why isn’t he alive? “To B In Love.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t love money. It’s more like I love not thinking about money. “Brewster’s Millions?”

But to this day, this remains my position on love. Love is the want, need, desire, the ability to put one above self. But, when I remember all my younger years, chasing several “shes who shall not be named.” I accept my foolishness, my “Idiocracy,” hell, stupidity. Hate that word. If it ain’t music, YouTube Reactions, or movies, it’s audiobooks. I’ve heard plenty, my love. Oh, and about “that word,” “stupid.” Don’t go there. Hey Stupid, I Love You… Divorce. Another big no, no would be getting rid of my four-legged child. 422 days dammit. Dearest, you’ll have to forgive me. The fact that I’m speaking through time travel lets you know, today is one of those that reminds me of my old Day Job.

Ok, so let me start over. Like an old fucking Republican that has an answer but asks again. What Is Love? I swear, I’m trying to chill on the pop culture, but “Todd,” Succubus Lord? I want to say that love is routine. I can’t tell you how I feel calm, peaceful, and glad when I know everything has its place. When I know where I belong. When B passed, day fucking one, I said everything remains the same. Everyday Is Exactly The Same. I’m trying. Anyway, I fill his water bowl, call him for meds, say hello and goodbye, because how can I not? A Man Provides… yes from Breaking Bad. But Stephen King wrote that Hell is repetition. Love grows, you, our children.

This leads me to believe that love is obsession or at least some form of madness. It’s an addiction, a habit, but that sounds like routine… And don’t people dive into them at their darkest hour. Well, until they hit rock bottom. Then they die or recover. Losing my son… Yes, that’s rock bottom, but then I look at you. Oh, I know it can get worse. I’d take it as another punishment in my failure to protect Braxton, but I can’t lose you, Babydoll. Continually I say I’m in love, which has never changed, but why doesn’t it feel that way right this second? When you love by my definition and that one above is gone… well, people choose eternity, To B In Love.

Gospel 271 ~Know Your Sins Before Others~

422 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

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If I only had a brain, the heart, courage. All that left with B. All I am is an old man with what? I should break out a fiddle, but B says it’s not my time as old as I am. Not Zibby’s or Jesse’s. “Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.”

Monday, March 28, 2022

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And money, much like my age, is something I don’t want to worry about. Yet I worry.

Sensing that something is wrong. As much as I enjoy talking to you, Madam, why are we speaking today, Thursday, March 24, 2022? I can’t call this time travel. Only FEAR. Dammit, my health concerns continue to plague me. When’s the last time I saw a Ph.D. for other than my eyes? I’ll need some antibiotics. I don’t have the good sense to ask a doctor. That requires money, which brings me to my concern and why we’re talking. (Taking a deep breath) Fucking Day Job!!! Pardon my language, Madam, but I don’t know where the fuck I’m going. There’s no schedule out yet, and I can’t help but think this is all my fault. Do you remember when I got “the call” before, Madam?

Desiring to be at that shithole is… as Todd puts it, “No Bueno.” You’ll have to forgive me, Madam. I’ve been listening to some Succubus Lord and have no desire for the real world now. Braxton stops me. I spoke to him today about the dream I had and wanting to hear from him all this time? Madam, he could have been sending me a message to prepare for war. I’m tired of fighting. But doing something with my life in service of him instead of becoming a monk and torturing myself? The world gets even more fucked up daily. Turning off YouTube social media, my desire is to sleep. Only sometime today, I need to look over the books. Desires are expensive but Necessity.

Necessity would mean more than being some horny fanboy. It’s time to be an adult… Have you seen people older than me all over America? Wizard of Oz, everywhere. Madam, I mean to have a brain, heart, and courage. For example (ahem} Ketanji Brown Jackson. Now the GOP/GQP, they make no sense, desire nothing but power. Pain is their Necessity. Why do you think I always say “Republican Tendencies?” Because I’m A “Bad Man.” Nowhere near as bad as that, but I’m not a good one. What age makes us? Inevitable. Don’t I believe a man can change with time? Well, how much of Braxton was in this? He was my sense, desire, and a Necessity in my life Madam. Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.

Gospel 270 ~I Growl B Cause~

421 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

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I do remember that B III was a dog, right? But I remember Panther, The Lion King, and what’s another word for cat? Anyway, there was a dream of a golden stripper pole shaped like… Hell, I was a good person at some point? Remembering A’s and B’s.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that does nothing for your memory. Hell, last night, I dreamt of a golden stripper pole.

So I can understand why you’re waking up so late. Um, more like we’re talking now since you were up at 4:00, and you’ve fucked up with two moms before 5:30. Called your Ma and shared that collage of Cherry’s mum. What she’s got it going on, funny guy. Now you won’t heed my words but a few concepts. Doritos and soda aren’t for dinner. Whenever you say you’re only going to shut your eyes for ten minutes, you’re lying. Pornos keep you awake and alive “Don Corneo’s Underground Arena” Um ok but you’re here and late. Not that I’m knocking Opiumud. Those films knock buying a bit of gold. Which reminds you, why haven’t you bought your gold chain. Bust thinking Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Just A Dog” A Novel By Russ Ryan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 027 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It’s been about four weeks now, so I don’t fault you for thinking with Stuff and Thangs at the moment. Of course, that’s after you had a bit of a cry about Braxton and alarms. Above all else, B III is the first thought of the day, and in a way, it’s like you want to drive out that goodness. Or is it the book you’re reading now that is getting to you? One more, hmm? You want to remember one of the days I had that was super energized. No, if you’re going to stay awake right now, you’ll look up Opiumud. One of many things to know. Why have you been thinking of Panther (1995)? Then golden stripper poles and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Cut to wanting to stare into the dark sky and see Braxton staring down at you like Mufasa. Remember who you are? You are my father, my daddy, and you always will be. A sob? No, you’re not going to cry. But you know when you told B he’d be as tall as a king? Braxton is high now in your thoughts, and he’s trying his damndest to get you to rise out of this bed. I think I said once I was going to let him be the one to give you advice, ha? The only man you’d ever listen to out of respect instead of fear. That’s why you must remember him always, not mourn but remember. Being alive, Remembering A’s and B’s.

Gospel 269 ~Braxton Spills The Beans~

420 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 268 ~Ode To B Yesterday~

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I know who The Beetles are, but that was way before my time. Yesterday I was nowhere near. I have had 418 yesterdays without my boy, and I’m looking forward to this 419th one being over. I won’t be anyway near as productive. “Ode To B Yesterday”

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Chronicle 268 ~Ode To B Yesterday~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which should give me plenty to write about. Don’t worry, though. None of it is poetry.

In fact, I was telling Braxton yesterday (via Time Travel) I should publish “Gulp” poetry. Oh, before his book? If I was a better man going on some 419 days, I wouldn’t have to yet. I swear my tears over my son are always better than those for having to wake up in the morning. My piddly ass existence. Already, today will be nowhere as productive. And as for next week… Even today, I can’t pick out any day ending in Y that I look forward to, Lady Lunalesca. But not one of them can be “Another Day,” ever. That wanting, laziness, and indifference led to my son’s death over a year ago. Hell 419 days of not joining him. And I should, Lady Lu.

But I get up, and instead of working in the den. It’s where I planted all my stuff. Even better, yesterday when I made it to the dining room. No, I climb right back into bed, struggling. The thoughts are creeping in that I should stay here today. It’s not like the “Rebeccas” would miss me. My last paycheck means I’ll be eating into my tax refund more. There’s always more soup and pizza rolls. I can scrounge up one more BLT minus the “T,” ha. And as for “Spilling the Tea,” as THEY say, I know this is all my fault. You would think that my hatred for the Day Job. Which led to the indifference which killed B. I’d work harder than ever.

I don’t mean at the Day Job but at doing anything in my power to avoid ever stepping foot inside that place again. All my yesterdays add up to the tomorrow of being in that Hell. Unless I get lucky enough to drop dead. I’ve been speaking of doctors, hmm. How about publishers, like the one I paid years ago to do nothing. Writing failure. Lunalesca, I haven’t sent them the final copy, so again my fault. I’m constantly failing. In truth, it’s a fact I’m not closing. I look at women and every other want, but you know what pains me? Seeing the words I wrote go to waste like yesterday. And no, I’m not like the Beetles. Yesterday, whatever. Ode To B Yesterday.

Gospel 268 ~B Hold A Dream~

419 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 267 ~There Will Be Stories~

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I didn’t tell my Olds stories about school. They always hated the endings. When I told my son stories, they weren’t for him but for me. I would fall asleep, and he’d stay up to protect me. At 5:00PM, I’d read, and he’d sleep. “There Will Be Stories”

Friday, March 25, 2022

Chronicle 267 ~There Will Be Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and Braxton would love to hear how. That is while he’s eating. I’m all ears too.

But seeing how it’s a bit past 5:00AM, I’m only now getting up… It wasn’t a female or some financial gain. No, my Lady, it was FEAR. Why would I need horror stories ever? I only needed to read the Day Job schedule if I wanted that. Yesterday I was all in a tizzy about what came next. Ask, and you shall receive. “Why do the things I hate come so naturally,” as Dance On Our Graves goes. Life is one fucked up story. And while I’m quoting music, how about a movie? “You’re one… ugly motherfucker!” Some things Soph… The quote is from Predator (1987). Second, I don’t mean in body but mind, spirit. Lastly, pardon my language. The things I let B see.

And now I sit here every evening reading books on dead dogs and wonder why he’s not around. I mean, other than that dream. And I haven’t had any more in days; until I know. What, how to bring Triple B back? I’ve started reading this book called “Will Your Dog Reincarnate?” I was so out of it this morning that I thought today was Saturday. So am I pretty anxious, you know. At the moment, not about B III? I got my tears out for him earlier. Existence. The fact that his life ended and that I keep going. There are much better stories for sure. But what is the last one I read that was appropriate for the two of us? Sometime last year, hmm, “A Different Alchemy.”

Of course, that’s about a father losing his son. I’ll never be one all hardcore for faith, but here we go again, “God’s Trying To Tell You Something. I did read the book of John with B III years ago. Lady Sophia, I think of that verse, for God so loved the world. Nope! Lady Sophia, I’m like Joel from The Last of Us with Ellie. Fuck the whole damn world; he loves her, and I love my son. So here come the waterworks, and you know why Sophia. I need a sad story because at the moment, the fucking Day Job is the worst one there is to read. Again my language. How B III’s story ended, that’s sadder, but There Will Be Stories.

Gospel 267 ~The Future B Fruitful~

418 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 266 ~It’s To Be War~

WillLeave a comment

My boy’s fighter. B III, be free, beefy… he had a lot of it with anybody. Most days to protect me, and I would fight for him too. When it mattered the most, then where was I? I didn’t have to fight to stay awake when he lay here dying. It’s To Be War

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Chronicle 266 ~It’s To Be War~

417 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how my day has only begun… Please, I’ll be back asleep before 8:00.

Not everyone has such “luxury” Braxton. People are fighting for their lives at this very moment. Are you worried I’m about to go off on one of my political rants? When’s the last time I had one of those? If I did, I’d only be talking to myself now. Insanity? Braxton, I’m going crazy without you. Well, crazier if that were possible. But what’s war? Okay, so I am about to have some rant… But believe me, B, I have tried to avoid it. You saw me through the first year of the “plague.” The second year, you were taken from me, my boy. Now between the GOP/GQP, watching Ketanji Brown Jackson and the war in Ukraine. Hell, no wonder I listen to Sucubuss Lord.

It’s the war in Ukraine; B that fell into my dreams. I doubt I have the strength to write a full-blown post on the vision, but I do want to sum up as I would with us lying here (sigh). It was the first dream that I’ve seen you in a long while. I wonder why that is? Always thinking with my “Stuff & Thangs.” Didn’t we both? Like father like son, right? So a few nights ago, I saw you barking around some guy getting ready to go to the frontlines. I didn’t recognize him, but I knew where he was headed (green t-shirt). I was in a dark bedroom. All I wanted was for you to come to lie with me and sleep.

What does the dream mean? As I asked, what are the chances that I’ll write a synopsis of the whole thing? I’m fighting as is to stay awake right now. Did you see me yesterday? Braxton, I should be ashamed. Of course, there are obvious reasons. 417 days since I took the life of my only ally. 24 days of keeping it in my pants. The biggest battle Braxton. Again people are fighting and dying. A woman is torn apart who’s like your grandma. Braxton, I watched you fight for every single second of your life. What’s war, Braxton? Today it ain’t me trying to stay awake, beating the clock, or something else… What am I fighting for B III? If It’s To Be War.

Gospel 266 ~B III Of Numbers~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad