Tag: Feelings

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

WillLeave a comment

It’s not a headache. It’s not B’s furry butt telling me he needs to potty. It’s not even when my tablet fell and cracked my glasses. I still have eyes… But I feel like my head on my shoulders is too much. Me? My boys? Well, “Braxton And Virgil Tops.”

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you know I’m lying. A bad night’s sleep will do that—bad dreams, aka nightmares.

My own? Yeah, because if we were talking about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, I’d be hard as an effing rock. M Anime’s dreams turn me on. She and General Xu, Boss, and Associate. And two of my biggest fantasies at the moment. Cuckoldry, Ravishment.

Dreams? The only thing I remember about my dream last night was beating the crap out of some blonde frat boy like I was Will Hunting in “Good Will Hunting.” I had to take it out on somebody. That’s not good to say, considering I am a father. Wanna-be Husband:

“All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town

Not just yet. Remember December? And now, the mid- to late week of June. Summer Vacation? Where to go, Lady Lunalesca? To the stars. Heaven. Take me to bed, Will.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If a girl ever says those five words to me, I’m putty in her hands. I swear to Braxton, Lu:

In my hands, nothing turns to putty
― Michelle Huddleson

“Somewhere Only We Know.” “In My Place.” SIGH “Just one year and then you’d be happy.” That’s what Gerry Rafferty is singing about. In bed with my Boricua or on “Baker Street?” Speaking of the street, did I forget that I have a major cash issue to deal with, Lu?

Hell, I didn’t remember to go to bed until midnight. I woke up hunched over on this same love seat. And you wonder why I felt the need to bash someone’s head in. “In Dreams.”

Or maybe I was trying to wake myself up. “I’m Black, Y’all” and still ain’t MAGA. Eff them and FDT!

Um, the American Dream? Ok, I wish I could go all Christopher Stone, Freedom Fighters:

“New Yorkers, fellow Americans… I am Chris Stone, the so-called “Freedom Phantom”. I stand before you today a free man, and I vow to die a free man. Like you, my world was shattered eight long months ago. I watched as my family and friends were tortured, captured, and killed. I have nothing left of my former life… except the hope for a better future… a better future for our children – the American dream! I, for one, still believe in that dream. We’ve read this in our schoolbooks as children; now is the time for us to embrace those ideals and stand up against the weight of Tyranny. We have a duty to ourselves to throw off our oppressors. When I look around this city, I do not see smoldering ruins… no, instead I see a sleeping army, ready to awaken. The world is watching us now… how we respond will prove our claim. I stand before you and the world today to reaffirm the pledge our forefathers made to each other, and for each of us, to protect our lives, our fortunes, and our self-worth. So I ask you now to take up arms against the evil invaders and yell in their faces that.
THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR
FREEDOM!”
― Freedom Fighters

But, Hell, Lunalesca, what did I do for Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Braxton’s Birthday? I haven’t even watched the Olympics. And didn’t I say I would look up some Black Haremlit authors? Damn, am I not a Black Erotic Author? Perv with a blog.

Worse. I’m a forty-one-year-old bum sitting on a loveseat playing Whiteout Survival, which is the thought that had me zoned out last night and waking up the way I did.

Lunalesca, I love my boys. Braxton and Virgil are tops. My four-legged sons. But crap:

“And maybe I forgot
All things I miss
Oh, somehow I know
There’s more to life than this.”
Kid Rock

Lunalesca, I want that white-picket fence, wife, family, that New York Times bestseller, my “adult studio. Braxton And Virgil Tops

1847 Days Without B III, Day 1288 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 234 ~Braxton and Virgil Bounce~

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It’s been one week since he looked at me. More like five years… Six? Anyway, Braxton bounced. And how many stories have I read to his brother Virgil? How many have I written saying they would save us? Three new ideas, but “Braxton and Virgil Bounce.”

Friday, February 20, 2026

Journey 234 ~Braxton and Virgil Bounce~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… No. Allow me to take a page from MAGA and provide the concepts of a story.

The first idea came yesterday. Do you know the painting “Dogs Playing Poker” by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge? Oh, maybe it’s these Living Single reactions. Maybe the fact that (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. Maybe it’s the Def Jam motif, you know. Or maybe the sexy M Anime-like figure in the kimono. That was an accident, but she’s so “Sexy” Sophia.

I mean, as Peter Cinocotti sings about. Or Tom Jones, she’s an effing Sexbomb. Anyway!

Two Chihuahuas… My furry sons, Braxton and Virgil. Their Dad (Yours Truly) is in an underground HUMAN fighting ring known as the Inferno Circuit. These two furry brothers are trying to save me with M Anime’s help from a three-dog criminal empire known as the Cerberus Syndicate. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Before that, there’s an idea M Anime and I were talking about with her dreaming. My Spanish goddess… Trust me, “All I wanted was to see her naked” once upon a time. Now we’re back to talking about having kids. And she could be B III and 2-V’s stepmom, someday.

Anyway, the idea! Okay, so she tells me about the three characters that “ravage” her. However, there is a demon that can’t take her. So what if the human and genetically created characters by using her body “sexually” somehow gave her the strength to beat the demon and save the world… It reminds me a tad of the third “Dying Light” game. If you defeat the beast, you get enhanced abilities… That’s lots of games.

But my third idea is even more of a rip-off. Simply put, “The Running Man” but with female hunters. Huntresses? I’m still ticked off about losing all those elements, like the Black Orchid Division, the Crimson Requiem (nuns with red habits), and the Inferno Cadre.

Sophia, I could have built a whole damn world out of those groups alone. Something like World War Z. The movie is okay if you have no idea about the book. But because I read the book, the movie starring Brad Pitt was a dumpster fire. And “The Running Man.”

Yeah, Sophia, I should probably read. Anything I can read to my kids, but no. My bank account, Hometown Heat Wave, and Backward Beauty (Fuu’s Painting). Braxton and Virgil Bounce.

1846 Days Without B III, Day 1287 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

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An 80 is a B. Cs get degrees. And I was praying for a D on paper when I was done playing with the one in my pants. I have been out of school a long time. But my woman is teaching me about Chinese Myths and Naughty Spanish. Hot? 80’s A B, Virgil.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not if I’m not a mediocre white man who dares to call himself the president. Hmm.

Not that I can talk, my dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m the one who’s looking up, do dogs’ tongues burn on ChatGPT? All I know is Braxton stuck his tongue into a cup of hot chocolate and winced. And then he had the nerve to look at me as if I had done something wrong. Well I kil.. had him euthanized several years later. I did. 100% I believe it, Luna.

13 days shy of his 16th birthday. What a lovely way to say I love you. Braxton and I had a good life. “Him and I.” He was my little sister’s dog. And then I go and spoil it all by saying “Something Stupid,” like I love you to him. And then he’s my dog.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My son. And how did I honor him yesterday? As a matter of fact, how did I honor his little brother, Virgil? The “Tango Maureen?” The Tango Virgil. Hell! The Tango M Anime for “real…” with no regrets. Have I ever told you how hot M Anime is? I’ve got a thing for Puerto Rican girls now. Well, one particular Puerto Rican woman and one thing. But if tentacle porn ever becomes real… Anyway, what was I saying? I spent most of Braxton’s birthday… Doing things with M Anime, I should be doing today. How much did I spend last Valentine’s Day? Total? Why am I not doing that now? Is this an 80’s hit?

No, it was 1990, “The King of Wishful Thinking,” Lunalesca.

My breakup theme for her in August. Then January rolled around, and it seems (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again.” M Anime and I aren’t quite there yet. Um, she’s sure she’s in love. But I’m the guy who has been mourning his dead furry kid forever.

Is five years forever? Come talk to me on October 20th, 2026, and if Virgil is still “Safe And Sound.” Suppose everything hasn’t burned thanks to MAGA. I’m quite comfortable at 80 degrees. If I were truly in love with M Anime, I’d be playing 98 Degrees’ “I Will Still Love You.” Suppose I were a better man, Lunalesca. But I’m living on 80 bucks. Not enough for “Love and Happiness.” 80’s A B, Virgil.

1840 Days Without B III, Day 1281 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 227 ~Braxton’s Birthday Volume V~

WillLeave a comment

B’s twenty-one… Happy Birthday! If only you were here to see it. Speaking of seeing, um, my girl is very horny. And it’s Friday the 13th. Let’s just say she’s trying to raise the dead. I’m trying to get well. And celebrate Braxton’s Birthday Volume V

Friday, February 13, 2026

Journey 227 ~Braxton’s Birthday Volume V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, three maybe. Comedy comes in threes, or so they say. I don’t do comedy necessarily.

I don’t buy joke books. Jerk chicken? That would require a cookbook. Books on justice? The Constitution? I should get a printed copy before the Cracker Hats change it. Yeah!

What doesn’t change is the love I have for my sons. But today is Braxton Barks Bradford’s 21st Birthday. Welcome to Level 21. Does it still count if he’s on the Rainbow Bridge? How dare I? Considering how sick I’ve been, I’ll be driving up the Rainbow Road pretty soon.

(Cue Mario Kart Rainbow Road Theme). Any version? I doubt Braxton’s idea of Heaven would be a car ride. I can’t say Virgil Vivi’s would be either. 2-V aka V aka Five. My youngest son. But we’re here to remember Braxton, are we not? Pancake:

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It was the morning after Braxton’s First Walk. I sat on the bed with a plate of waffles. Or was it French Toast? Anyway, I left to get a drink. Not two minutes later, this ball of fluff, who wasn’t a year old, had jumped on the bed and nearly drowned in syrup and crumbs.

So the next day I had pancakes, and I placed them up high. My Ma says, “You must love pancakes.” And there you have it. I would tell Braxton, “I love you like pancakes,” meaning I placed him above everything. Of course, there’s the “I didn’t pour the BISQUICK, but you’re my pancake.” The Walking Dead… Look it up. Then there was the way he curled up in my lap.

Not much of a story, huh? Here’s another: On one of his birthdays, his Favorite Girl made him a cake with meat, potatoes, beans, cheese, and treats. We watched the first season of the reality show “Solitary,” Episode 3, “To Eat or Not to Eat” to be specific. And why?

Sophia, up to that very day, I had never seen Braxton give up on “people food.” It was blasphemy. Not that he didn’t enjoy it. But “For the First Time in Forever,” his eyes were bigger than his stomach, and he tapped out. Braxton only surrendered to food once more.

It’s why he didn’t see 16-21. He stopped eating. Here I am at 41, not eating. So uh Happy Birthday Braxton… Braxton’s Birthday Volume V

1839 Days Without B III, Day 1280 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

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To be a preacher, a porn star, or both as a politician. I wouldn’t be penniless. But I chose the gift or curse of prose, poetry, and simple words on paper. “In God We Trust,” it says on the “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.” “Penniless Braxton And Virgil”

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If only, SIGH. A penny for my thoughts? I’d say people aren’t that STUPID. But then…

MAGA, Nazis, and old pervy men. Hell! Men period. Like I told M Anime yesterday.

Last night, to be specific. My dearest Lunalesca, “Someday,” I may be doing that, doing her, in person. And I hope I’ll be able to say to you that “you were always there for me.”

Okay, enough of the “Sugar Ray” lyrics. One more thing I’ve been doing with my morning, Lady Lu. Music. I’m still paying for Spotify, Hulu, and the Internet in general!

A hundred dollars. I’m all out of patience, money, and I’m “All Out of Love.” Tell that to Braxton, Virgil, M Anime, and eff, the “Man In The Mirror.” So a penny for my thoughts.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I’ve been singin’
Funny when you’re dead, how people start listenin’.”

“If I Die Young.” Forty-one jamming to The Band Perry.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Well, I’m scared for one thing. And fear doesn’t pay. Adds, multiplies, and divides.

Am I talking about myself or MAGA? One more reason to hide inside. Well, as long as I have a place to hide, that is. How much did I spend last night? Every penny matters.

Ironically, pennies are gone thanks to MAGA. Is that irony? Or isn’t it “Ironic” as Alanis Morissette would sing? I have no clue, but it’s effing weird. I go for walks with both of my boys. Virgil on a leash and Braxton’s ashes around my neck. The woman of my dreams lives hundreds of miles away. While any woman close would rip off my balls.

I’m complaining I’m broke, but seeing Cherry’s yabbos. Um broker.

Indecent Proposal as it is. And what about my woman? What about Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Should I say Virgil’s, too? He only met her once. “I’ve seen Better Days,” Lunalesca.

That’s what my boys would say if they could talk to you. Another bit of irony. I think that I’ve talked to Braxton more when I put him in a box than when he was lying next to me, like his little brother is now. Or I watch the Olympics, which is based on promoting world peace in a country at war with its past, its people, and promotes hatred among everyone, everywhere. Effing MAGA. I’d rather see fictional fights (wrestling) than the stupid bowl.

But I’m spending what on food! Penniless Braxton And Virgil

1833 Days Without B III, Day 1274 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 220 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bill Me~

WillLeave a comment

How much per boob? Those boobs who are my kids. I could never afford them both. A boob’s in the mirror. My girls aren’t boobs, but they have nice pairs. But I need to paid for the STUPID Bowl food, books, my boy V, and bills. Braxton, Virgil, Bill Me

Friday, February 6, 2026

Journey 220 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bill Me~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Not for much longer, though. How am I ever going to afford more books? The ladies…

Does the food truck lady miss me yet? I swear, with the STUPID Bowl coming up, I could use some shrimp and wings. What about Buffalo Wild Wings? Are there any “Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Girls,” there? But being a Beast of Burden doesn’t pay too well, I’m afraid to say. And I’m not with The Rolling Stones, and I’m not Bill Cosby, Eww!

CONSENT, C$ck, and Coin, Sophia. I haven’t spoken to Braxton’s Favorite Girl in a bit.

Cherry is begging for help, but I’m a bad man with an Indecent Proposal, so I’ll keep my mouth shut. And I meant that in a Negan and John Gage sort of way, not R. Kelly. Eff him, eff MAGA and FDT now and always.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But shouldn’t I be worried about Virgil eating, and when Braxton wasn’t eating? Five years…

B III has been gone for five years. 2-V is five-years-old. And come August, he will have been here for five years. If I make it that long. Speaking of long, black, and hard, um…

There’s my boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. “Guess who’s back, back again?” “’Cause it feels so empty Without Me.” What, the world? Our “Young Hearts Run Free?” This queen-sized bed? The spot between her legs? Honestly, must I be so crass? You should listen to me and M Anime sometime. And she hasn’t run away… Again? But that’s why she hasn’t read the words, “I forgive you,” or “apology accepted.” I am still a bit…

Terrified! I’d say I should read up on loyalty, but isn’t that why we have dogs? And I’ve read two dog books so far. I’m hoping to make it three, but between the worrywarts Virgil and me, my woman and wanking off. Honestly, M Anime is a goddess. And Sophia…

Yeah, I clean up nice, and I’m desperate for the cash. “Ten dollar a lot of money.” Seriously, I’m using “Glory” during Black History Month? Wasn’t I accused of ragebait about a week ago? I could be using my cute boys. Instead I’m using my as Chef put it my “Salty Chocolate Balls.” Again Eww… But, wow… Is that what M meant about chocolate being for girls?! Charlie Brown’s “Aaugh!”Doctors Braxton, Virgil, Bill Me.

1832 Days Without B III, Day 1273 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

B would give me a look. I remember his last look before life left his eyes. I couldn’t close them. He saw me, his Dad. I didn’t get much sleep the night before we left. You want… ever… single second. It’s been 5 years. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Enough to buy my son’s life from the Grim Reaper, God, and a good night’s sleep?

Not tonight. Five years ago on this very night… Well, it’s morning now, but let’s start with Saturday, January 30, 2021. I was rushing between my son Braxton on the bed and his water bowl on the floor right next to him. Will you look at that, first tears, Lunalesca.

There’ll be plenty of those today, tomorrow, whenever. Anyway, my B was so strong, Lu.

He couldn’t stand me worrying, so he tried jumping out of bed, and I ended up sleeping in his room so he could be by the bowl he insisted on walking to, every single time.

Lunalesca, it was one of his last acts of defiance against death. Of all the bedtime stories I told my son… He’s going to die…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nope! As far as I was concerned, he was going to live forever. Forever and always. My son, Braxton Barks Bradford, was/is invincible, immortal, and insane for loving me, Lu.

The father who failed him. Is this really how I wish to honor my boy? Last year, I wrote his story. Hell! I’ve penned two full-blown novels. One’s out, ha. The other? Book or son?

Virgil? Why is his Dad up at midnight chugging back energy drinks and writing about his dead brother? Other than missing him, being mad at the world, and trying to avoid the flat surface, which is the mattress. Eff Lunalesca! You know why I’m abstaining.

Braxton would think I need the love tonight. Not mourning a dead puppy. And Virgil?

He’s alive and well. 5 years old on the 5th anniversary of Braxton’s passing and 5 months without M Anime, though we “connected” earlier this week. To Forgive. To Accept.

Virgil as my son, my second-born? I’m trying, I swear. Called him B this afternoon…

Welcoming M Anime back into my universe. If I could, then I would. I’ll go “Wherever You Will Go.” Things you can say about your dog/son but not your Ex-Girlfriend?

Lunalesca, for now. I may accept us someday. But Braxton being gone? Again, never ever!

I refuse to accept that. So I will do as always. Cry. A burger and fries in the afternoon, Lu. BBQ for dinner. Movies. May my son Braxton Barks Bradford RIP. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

1826 Days Without B III, Day 1267 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

WillLeave a comment

So, WWE Royal Rumble or dog movies with explosions mixed in and loneliness? Every time I Turn Around, Back In Love Again. Or do I really, really, like her Twins? Is B gone? I ain’t accepting that! Decisions, Decisions. “Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.”

Friday, January 30, 2026

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As if I’m the Decider in these things. Wasn’t that Bush? My history is somewhat hazy.

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”
― Andrew Ryan BioShock

Yes, I know “Bioshock.” I know MAGA and Republicans ruin things. They are no longer the party of Lincoln. But what I know most of all today. My son is dead. Well, he was dying this time five years ago. But still, there was so much to write: preparation, A-Hole.

I might as well say it, I’m an “Asshole.” Denis Leary sings it better. But am I an asshole for making bad decisions? Or is it because I decided I’m a doing nothing bum? Duh!

You didn’t come here to make the choice; you’ve already made it. You’re here to understand why you made it.
The Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded

Making the decision and living with it are two entirely different entities. In The End…

Well, Sophia, I’m always wrong. Whatever happened to WWJD? “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Not B III! What Would Braxton Do?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Fight, Feast, and take care of his failure of a father. When have I ever fought? My feast today will probably be McDonald’s. Yes, I said probably. And tomorrow will be more of the same. A burger, and then I have to get BBQ. The traditional meal of Braxton’s Happy Death Day, January 31st, 5th Anniversary. And failure? I’m sitting on the loveseat, and I watch my youngest son. And it helps to pass the time.” Because making any decisions.

Hell! I can say I’m better than MAGA with it. Then again, I sentenced my oldest son, my Braxton, to die. Euthanasia… I hate that word! And I’m still wondering what Virgil’s problem is. I know he’s not Braxton reincarnated. Reading another pet loss book.

Sophia, don’t ask me how I pick out books. It’s like writing “I feel his hand on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thing”. Braxton? Tupac…

Anyway, as I was telling M Anime or trying to. My words, like decisions, are pretty bad, but as far as the past goes, as Eastman imparted to Morgan in TWD. I wanted to say:

Eastman: “What we’ve done, we’ve done.”
Morgan: “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.”
Eastman: “To make up for it.”
Morgan: “To still accept what we were.”
Eastman: “To accept everyone… And in doing that, protect yourself.”
TWD

And as much as MAGA wants us all to live “from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink,” the past cannot be undone. I have the present: Virgil, M Anime, and me.

Will I love him? Forgive her? And will I get a burger? Accept Braxton’s loss… Uh… Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.

1825 Days Without B III, Day 1266 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

WillLeave a comment

Are you going to send this to her? B would be giving me that look. But he never met her. But he wanted his Favorite Girl to stay here forever. It’s what you get when you bake him a cake. I’ve wondered about M Anime’s wedding cake. Compute B-V Minus M

Saturday, January 24, 2026

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And as dumb as most billionaires are, I’m sure they know their math. Eff me Lunalesca!

Well, not really! If anything, I should be effing M Anime, but no. I only want to remember this moment. M Anime’s Wedding Day? 5-Month Anniversary of breaking up? Guess.

Because I honestly don’t know. But I’m sitting on the loveseat, Virgil’s sleeping away the day, and Braxton’s spirit awaits my tears. But today is for M Anime. Potential Mrs…

Lunalesca, she’s not anymore, but if I could talk to her… Three-hundred words or less…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

M Anime,
It’s been five months. You ended a friendship of years and haven’t tried for five months. Hell! Neither have I. Because, like that August morning last year, I have no words on whatever happened. I still don’t know. I want to say I was wrong, which makes sense.

But that would make you like everybody else. That I simply being alive is wrong. Honestly, you are better. Or so I believed. You made me believe. Friends, fucking, family.

Love! A thing called love. After my Braxton. God, I told you all about my boys, you picked my brain, and I wanted to share my bed with you. And let’s not forget those books…

Everything I am I shared with you, and you didn’t back away until Sunday Morning.

Seriously, do you remember that? Music. You got me in a way no one has ever done in this life. Well, Braxton and his Favorite Girl? Braxton would have liked you. Virgil would have too. And Braxton’s Favorite Girl was already planning our wedding when I told her all about you. I wanted to tell the world. Someday maybe. Every day since you up and left. And again, I still don’t know why. Communication! Now that was always your thing.

That’s All I Ask Of You! You could have asked anything of me. There were no secrets between us. Am I ugly? Did I not have enough money? Did I bring up Braxton too much?

That last one… Guilty as charged, and that’s never changing. I love my Braxton. And I believed I was falling in love with you. And I wish you all the love in the world, still.

Love, May God’s love be with you always. Always and Forever. I believed in us, once. Compute B-V Minus M.

1819 Days Without B III, Day 1260 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Bye-bye, Love. Things I can say about my dog and my ex-girlfriend. But this week, I should be reading all about her. My effable, breedable ex. But somebody else is living that dream. I’m reading fictional accounts. If only B knew. B’s In Love, Virgil

Friday, January 23, 2026

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And not share a review? I’m not in the mood. And I’ve already cried twice today.

One of those being from an effing mobile game. 2:30 in the effing morning for a forty-one-year-old to play Whiteout Survival. I can’t handle rejection anymore. Braxton accepted me. Barking, “You want… every… single second.” That was my son, my Braxton. But no, I won’t be watching 2004’s Dawn of the Dead on the 31st. I don’t think. Doggy movies… Only I’ve gotten into watching The Mill (2023) and Spontaneous (2020). And why is that?

It doesn’t matter, and it’s next week’s problem. Last night, the question was, what’s next?

Do I continue with Pledged To Him 9: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Nine), or A Life Together: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (The House Husband’s Harem Book 3)? Then there’s Braxton…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I could honor my boy by reading Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!: How to Communicate With Pets In The Afterlife, Understand Signs & Why You Will See Them Again. How does that honor B III, again? And V is only five. Four of which have been in abject terror.

Try “forty-one stony gray steps towards the grave. You know the box.” Pop Culture ha!

Because I don’t want to talk about M Anime. Her story or stories? Effing incredible.

Sophia, if I remember nothing else about her, M Anime had a breeding kink you wouldn’t believe. So is that why I was crying last night? I would have been leaking another bodily fluid. Eww! But I was reading about Jackson Breeding his bride-to-be, Yukiko.

It was women like Yukiko Tanaka, Tia Tanaka, Syren, Lulu Chu, and let’s not forget Hentai that got me into Asian women. And if we talk about brunettes… Forever Ever!

But anyway, Breeding. That’s what M Anime and I should be doing right now. Saturday?

She’ll be married to someone else if she isn’t married right now. Why’s that, Sophia?

Breeding. She wanted children. I wrote, okay, so babies. If anything, I was just surprised.

So either she can’t read, or I can’t write. In either case, she’s “Gone.” And so I torture myself with her words, my depraved wants, and Latina women, if you’ve ever wondered about the covers. B would have loved her and Virgil… Not right! Not write! B’s In Love, Virgil

1818 Days Without B III, Day 1259 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will