Tag: Knowledge

Saga 203 ~Virgil Has Words B~

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If you asked me Braxton’s last words, it would be right out of that episode “A Hole in the World” Why can’t I stay? I didn’t listen to him when he got sick when he was lying in the office, and I thought I was picking Virgil. “Virgil Has Words B”

Friday, January 20, 2023

Saga 203 ~Virgil Has Words B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and my sole objective is never to have to speak again. Grunt, moan, scream, but speaking?

Virgil agrees with not speaking. Unless I’m walking out the door, then he’s all sorts of loud. Hell! V has taken a tumble down the backstairs and didn’t utter a small whimper or bark. Does it still count as Humiliations Galore when only I see it? Virgil is ok, Sophia. But (ahem) DEATH! Not 2V’s ever… I’ve been down this road with Braxton, haven’t I? Only my own. I keep saying it, Lady Sophia. When I fall asleep, I never want to wake up again. Being honest. It’s why, yet again, I’m late talking to you. The food poisoning (fuck you, Jack’s) had me a bit fucked up, eww. And when I did wake up, it was nearly midnight, yep. Braxton would look after me.

Well, if Braxton were still here. Braxton was supposed to live forever… ok twenty years. This year he would be turning eighteen. The starting point a person’s expected to adult. Fuck I’m thirty-eight. And between the exterminator, taxes, and the filter, that needs to be replaced. I’m still learning. Braxton died way too soon. And the book I read before, “Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby.” For the record, this book ain’t helping. But did any of them? Oh, and the whole DEATH thing. I’ve never read Lord of the Rings but saw the movies. The things we learn, huh, Lady Sophia? But there is a word I’ve been looking up quite often lately. ENSHRINEMENT. A lot of the books say it’s bad, but…

Yeah. When do I listen to people when it’s not a direct order for this existence? “A Man Chooses A Slave Obeys.” That’s from Bioshock, and you’ve heard me quote it plenty, Lady Sophia. I’ve also said that Virgil is not Triple B. If anything, he’s more like me. Hmm? Scared to speak, to take a step, and sleep is his best friend as it sure ain’t me right now. Lady Sophia, I speak fluent Braxton but as for Virgil… Even better, living with silence. There’s VIRGIL, GO, and NO! I’m not sure he recognizes his name. Archie, no thanks. Only GO up the stairs, NO running back in fear, and VIRGIL, VIRGIL, VIRGIL. He’d tell me to go to Hell! Virgil Has Words B

719 Days Without B III, Day 160 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 200 ~Forms of Virgil, B’s…~

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It’s enough to make me hate writing? If it wasn’t signing my name on unpublished books, bills I have to pay, and the memories I created. It’s what Triple B is; a memory… So it’s B’s name, I won’t forget. Only those forms for 2V? Forms of Virgil, B’s…

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Saga 200 ~Forms of Virgil, B’s…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can cheat on our taxes every which way, right? And the termite guy?

There is also running a business, even if it’s mine always. Beats the fucking Day Job. There’s my writing which I must love (obviously). But it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. There’s being a Dad too. Report cards, field trips. The responsibility for our kids’ actions. But always, there will be Braxton. He’s the one that I saw first, loved first. Yeah, I’m not ashamed to write down that I’m a fan of “FLCL.” I’ve been all about anime these days. I’m trying not to think about the last thing I signed for Triple B. Better to have XXX, huh? Because being an adult sucks even with all these blessings. I’m able to afford repairs, inspections, and appointments. Did I have to say that? I’ll never forget Braxton’s last one…

Every day is another step closer to what will be two years, Sunday, January 31, 2021. The doc lucked out. As I’ve said before, not once have I blamed them. No reason. It’s my fault. Wednesday, February 10, 2021… I don’t remember if I signed anything; I think I did. That’s the day I picked up Little Braxton for the last time. Fearing reincarnation, Tupac… Why must I torture myself with this fact? But Saturday, August 13, 2022, there’s Virgil. He’s not Braxton. Every day I believe that more and more, and who knows when it will be set in stone. When I will write it down in all its finality. A form of catharsis, confession, a condition of my surrender to the truth, love.

B is gone. A ghost, a memory, or a Cuddle Clone. Don’t I still need to see the tax guy? Well, we do, right? Let the heart speak, but we had to sign paperwork too. And I never intend to erase it or sign something to the contrary. The Band Perry’s “Better Dig Two.” Hell! You won’t be signing any papers for me yet. I have a son to remember, a wife to love, and a world to put in its place. Big talk for someone cringing at every bill despite being in our position. Lovers, parents, family but payment forms, cash, check, credit? Lover, husband, daddy. Easy signing at the bottom and ignoring the bottom line at rock bottom. Remember, Forms of Virgil, B’s…

716 Days Without B III, Day 157 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 196 ~Tales To B, Virgil~

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Everything from getting out of bed to getting in is me following someone. Well, since I got 2V 153 days ago. Everyone has a tail, tale, or tell. And my story, um… I would rather not say. Yet I’m here and want to publish someday. “Tales To B, Virgil”

Friday, January 13, 2023

Saga 196 ~Tales To B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I really want it to be from books and boobs, all from a warm bed.

Bedroom Soapbox, I call it. But that’s not teaching V to walk anytime soon. I swear, before I can start sharing secrets with him, I’ll have to teach him how to run away from me. Today is Friday the 13th and all. Yeah, Lady Sophia, I’m worse than Jason… funny. Braxton Barks and I would watch movies together. Though I’ve said plenty. It was best when we invited his Aunt Carolina Bound. With her “pillows,” uh, no room for nightmares. But that’s where we’re headed, isn’t it? No wonder I’m trying so hard writing stories. Sophia, I’m all about jokes today. Virgil has written more with his nails scratching up the floor. But he did manage to climb the stairs all the way yesterday. Woo-hoo!

It’s still way too early for my taste. So that reminds me, buy more energy drinks after this week. Not that this week is anything to write about. But then again, there’s Virgil, I know. For the most part, I’ve been right behind him, getting him upstairs or simply walking. But a few days ago, I was on the verge of sending him to the grave from the backyard stairs the other day. That would have been something. How I murdered a fur baby again. Then there’s Braxton. Every day we move closer to the day. Two years… his passing. Lady Sophia, at least I made sure to get the day off. I can be a man of my word… Whatever will I do, hmm?

What? With the day or my word? At the end of the day, come the 31st, it’ll look like last year. I should watch dog movies and eat barbecue or get Braxton’s favorites. And where will Virgil be during all of this? He needs to learn Braxton’s story. Well other than to leave his bed alone. He can smell death… I need more stuff for Braxton, memorial trinkets, and books but Virgil? Hell! It’s not his ass I’ve been worried about. Again the backyard tumble. I apologize. I’m trying to keep my word too, and with all the Hentai I’ve been downloading… I’m more of a breast man, but some fine-ass girls. This morning? So V’s in B’s room. Not sharing, Tales To B, Virgil.

712 Days Without B III, Day 153 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

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Sometimes in January… this will be the second one. Not on the 10th, but on the 31st. There are so many dates I rather not remember. I can’t tell you when I found love but when I lost it. Yet the days keep falling off Calendars, B Tripping Virgil

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t ever invest in Swanson; thanks, Tuckems. I’m more for Boston Market. Marie Callender’s?

My love, money didn’t change me. I mean, sure, as Forrest Gump said, “That’s good. One less thing.” I’ll be one for hoodies and jeans always and forever. Not that serious, but when I got new glasses, I wanted the same frame and, barring that, more Triple B’s color. When it comes to women, well, not to go all Alanis Morissette but AHEM “You, you, you oughta know. Hell! You know I love you, but when it comes to people, “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist,” as Andrew Davidson put it. Only with women, well… there was than Asian fetish I had. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, strawberry blondes, black hair. Look at the date; Wednesday is a year since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Um, feelings…

And speaking of fantasies, Victorian Maid Maria no Houshi. And Katainaka ni Totsui de Kita-Russia Musume to H Shimakuru Ohanashi. I wish I could remember when I got into Hentai and cosplay. One of many dates I can’t recall. But there are three events this month. I’ve told you about one which was a little fucked up. With you and a therapist. I can afford therapy now. Oh, I have no delusions of myself being mentally healthy. I’m sure you can agree. Anyway, the first, of course, was New Year’s Day. God help me; I’m trying to keep at least one resolution. How many have I made for you, our kids, and the businesses I run? I know; I made one; keep Virgil Vivi alive.

Only this morning, as with every day, my first thought was of Braxton Barks Bradford. Did I say that out loud? If I wanted to be in the dog house… Well, it’s January. Where else would I be than with my boy this second year? I didn’t even take a nap when I got back. Love, there is so much to do. I’m not holding out much hope. Because, again, you can see all the distractions. I don’t want to think about it. And yet buying books, bullion, and biscuits. Though I haven’t set another one in B III’s memory. And what about us, love? You’re not something only placed calendar-wise. But, as long as I’m breathin’, Braxton will be “31st.” Calendars B Tripping Virgil.

709 Days Without B III, Day 150 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

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I forget what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep. Or what it takes to be a good Dad. Can’t ever remember what it’s like not to have a Day Job I don’t hate. As far as being happy… I’d like to write about B being as such. “Virgil Forgets To B…”

Friday, January 6, 2023

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I guess in such “happiness,” I forget how I made it… Writing, women’s bodies, wisdom…

First and foremost, Lady Sophia. AHEM! I’m never HAPPY. I believe Braxton is here. There are times I do believe in a higher power. As for conspiracies… I’m convinced the wealthy have some cabal and control the world. Hell! I suppose one can learn Necromancy. Can I possibly believe I can keep my dick in my pants for 161 days again? Uh, I am trying. But as for me being HAPPY? The song goes, “I believe in a thing called love.” Still, a thing such as happiness. Like the word, rehabilitated… a made-up word, a politician’s word. And on that note, January 6 Insurrection. Apocalypse Buddy Braxton lived. Impossible to forget my son Lady Sophia. Even he didn’t make me happy, though. Bad-Ass, Brave, Better…

That’s how I feel right now. Of course, “better” can mean a lot of things. Only what comes to mind right now is forgetfulness. When I’m better, I forget all the bad stuff and good… Well, not really. But the fact that I wanted to talk to you today. Yeah, first, the 3-hour Day Job. The feeling of leaving that shithole. See, Trump, that’s how you say it. Only then, there’s forgetting a bottle of water and the work shirt I carry. Not huge losses Sophia. Dammit to Hell, though; I hate being forgetful. Yet my Braxton always performed that… What? Miracle? He would make me forget what this world makes me. For him being… Daddy, that was all that is/was required of me, Sophia.

And I’m a bastard for saying this, but Virgil forgot to be… Braxton. Reincarnation failure. Aren’t I supposed to be feeling better today? As I said, I got away from the Day Job super early. I have most of the day to catch up with everything. Tuesday, January 3, 2023. Sophia, I checked my work schedule, and next week isn’t looking too good. No time to write at all. As if I were going to anyway. I’m like V, failing tasks I or others wrote down. I forgot to save my son. Yet feel some way about water and workwear. Sort of. But I’m better all warm in bed. While Virgil lies here cuddling/sleeping but it’s not the same as Braxton… Virgil Forgets To B…

705 Days Without B III, Day 146 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

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I heard in a movie that love can’t tell time. Yes and no. I can’t remember when B III jumped in the car… and he hates car rides. The moment he left… Jan 31, 2021, at about 3:45 PM. When I told the right girl, I love her? Beats me. “Love To B Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And have a much more interesting story than I inherited my wealth. I Work Hard 120!

As seems to be the theme of this year… well, the first week of January, like everyone else, my love. I’m trying to get motivated. I didn’t say positive, I’m afraid, but to get going. Only I know you still need me to be here. Does it help that I’m buying more stuff for us? As the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” No amount to save Braxton. And then there’s Virgil. I know my story. I know how I feel. Yeah, I mentioned I’m buying more books and TV. Hell! Today, I bought another book about mourning fur babies. And now I want to watch a show about a man who pretty much adopts a daughter after losing one. The Last of Us

Braxton was/is a gift to me. And I take the fact that his story was seen all over the world… Well, I’ve always said he’s the one that made me the man I am today. The good and the bad, but you love me, so who am I to complain? No. For 702 Days, I have been one to mourn. And like with all of the books I’ve been reading, well, minus all those in December. I don’t want to know anything else. I’m too focused on B III’s death to worry about 2V’s life. Incredible life story before I met him, I’m sure. Did he love someone? Lose someone. How about letting it go? As I said, 702 days without B. Virgil’s had 143.

To make you feel my love. What about our children? What about Virgil? Even now, I’m not sure about him. But for you and ours… I’d do everything Bob Dylan wrote about and Adele sang about. I like the cover version, but that’s not the point. Looking at Virgil now… A whole new year and the same ole song and dance. Virgil’s not Braxton’s reincarnation. If anything, he’s more like me. Virgil’s so confused, quiet, and figuring out his universe. But that doesn’t mean he can’t find his way to bed at night. We’re all around him, but what does that mean? I’d ask how long will it take him to accept love. What do I have to give? More time? Love To B Virgil

702 Days Without B III, Day 143 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

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The worst thing I’ve ever read? Braxton’s Final Vet Bill? The Certificate of his Cremation? Any paycheck from the Day Job? The alarm clock? I wish I could say I’ve been reading something good. But no fairytales, only sleeping. Virgil’s Reading Away B

Friday, December 30, 2022

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford all these places for Chinese food, hot dogs, and ice cream.

But what about books? If anything, I hope to get through “Christmas Grump” before the first. It feels wrong to read holiday books after the first. It’s like eating breakfast for dinner. It’s something I don’t do. But if I hadn’t got all those shrimp Thursday, Sophia? For a moment, I was about to say there was never a time I didn’t bring food back for B. His Aunt, of course, could call me on my bullshit. That time we went out one weekend, and I ordered onion rings… Didn’t I also say something about that the other day with Virgil? It seems he can no longer stand for it. At least, I hope so, as he walked in here. Am I not sharing food?

If only he could read receipts and understand peppers and onions aren’t good for him. Hell! I’m not good for him, considering I’m not reading anything appropriate now. I think of Braxton as my son but Virgil. Well, I thought of him as Braxton for a bit, and since he’s not, hmm… Lady Sophia, I should start reading books on disappointment. Besides not yet finding the clip of when I stopped jerking off when B died. That’s what I was trying to read on top of all the porn. I was up at 4:00 AM, right? It’s 6:30 AM, and now we’re talking? Four hrs later, at 10:00. I should read the bills for V. I instead read while he pees “off” his bathroom pad.

Should I read things on dog behavior at the start of the new year? I know what I want. I want more books on dead/dying fur babies. And to have a good cry at them like this year, okay? Is there anything on how to stay awake? Because I’m sure, I’ll fall asleep at the end of this chat. I went through a self-help chapter once upon a time, and there’s Dale Carnegie. I need to be reading that bill for the fire department and sending it off before I get in trouble. The tab for the car shows it’s a little late for that. Virgil understanding Day Jobs? Lady Sophia, if I did, I’d try making more money… Writing ha-ha. Virgil’s Reading Away B

698 Days Without B III, Day 139 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 179 ~ Virgil’s Holidays To B~

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You wake up, and your cat… dog in my case. Your son, a future, isn’t there anymore. I tell myself that tomorrow will be “better.” People look forward to this time of year. For me, Jan 31, Feb 13, Aug 13, Sept 7, Oct 20, etc. “Virgil’s Holidays To B.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Saga 179 ~Virgil’s Holidays To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s always tomorrow. Yeah, I can take off in my rocket ship. Get perspective…

I’ve been thinking a lot about “The Great De-evolution” series. In particular, “The Last Astronaut” and “A Different Alchemy.” One man running away from the death of his fur-baby. And the other, from the death of his child. Pray tell, how do I relate, (snickers). Besides this one fact. Writing my own books kept me away from Braxton Barks Bradford. Because there was always tomorrow. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s benefit. But as the song goes, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Or fifteen years, love. I thought Braxton would give me twenty. But that’s thinking too small. Here’s forever. Isn’t that what we are, my love? We got our kids though I still need to figure out Virgil. Being mean?

What! I bought him a gift, and honest to “God” I’ve been trying. But there is always tomorrow. For now, I need some sleep. I know it’s getting worse. One man went to space while the other headed north. And another thing about those men. They left their families. They didn’t see a future in the world. Is that what I’m saying? Why bother trying? That one day, B III will be gone for good. Hell! If I could be so lucky as to drop dead, then. I’m sure our children will think that of me in their teenage years. I want to be here for that. So am I seeing more time with them, with you? Memories with Braxton. Oh, and Virgil Vivi too.

Again yesterday, I was looking at books for “The Closing of the Year.” Not as many as last year, but there is always tomorrow. But what if there’s not? How long do I expect you, my Mrs. Claus, to keep waiting? Santa spends his whole year preparing. One big day. What about ours, my love? They have been different since Braxton, I know. Forgetful? Now you know that ain’t true. Part of me stays glued to that spot on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then a part of me wants to be like those other fathers running away, love. Billionaires can buy rocket ships and tanks, so why not go all “The Tomorrow War?” Buy us a time machine? Yours and Virgil’s holidays… I’m so sorry. Virgil’s Holidays To B

695 Days Without B III, Day 136 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

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I can’t say “merry” was the first thing I looked up. But the words Merry Christmas will be everywhere. I know I ain’t leaving the house come, Christmas Eve. Virgil’s first Christmas here, Second without B III. But, two gifts to buy. To B Merry Virgil

Friday, December 23, 2022

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’d be happy. Only every Billionaire I know is raging against the world. Ah, Misanthropy…

Which is something I’m getting a hefty dose of today. Because I’ll be damned if I leave the house on Christmas Eve. And as I told B yesterday, I left on Christmas for Chinese food. How I hate people. No, No, I’m not being racist. I mean every damn body, as I did my accounts the other day. And what about my son and the other fur baby living here? Are Braxton and Virgil getting gifts? A second Christmas without B. And V’s first real gift. That’s about as merry as I’m going to get. Speaking of which, I don’t know any Marys… well, outside of faith. But what about Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry? The goodness of my heart, to just being horny…

Despite thoughts of hedonism, I can’t go broke in pursuit of this. Again, while I was working on the books the other day. Because the fuck I’m going to write anything. I was trying to figure out how I could get them all gifts. Sophia, I can’t forget Ma. Two presents. But allow me to be a selfish prick and ask, what about me? I have nothing but respect for libraries and would like to visit them. But I’m glad I don’t have to check out Christmas Erotica. I finished the 52-book challenge I put on myself; thank you, Bill Gates. But when you’re reading a book called “XL Candy Cane.” I swear my tortuous methods. Call it Masochism? Sophia, it’s like the song, I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.”

Though I fancy myself more one for Sadism. Which is why there are no people here. Who me? That is the least I can ask for this Christmas. M Anime considers me a man. But I won’t be unwrapping her under the Christmas tree. Fuck! Braxton’s ashes to ashes boxed. I know I’m not merry today and haven’t been for how many years? Especially Braxton. And what about Virgil? When this year ends, I should start reading about doggie behavior. Or how about the maid I tried to bed, that I cooked for. I keep saying I need cookbooks. Only as you can see, misanthropy, hedonism, and Sadism. How about a menu for good Chinese food? My grocery list? Affording anything? To B Merry Virgil

691 Days Without B III, Day 132 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

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I only remember my Ma putting up the Christmas tree. And as far as presents, well, good and bad memories. But the love? That shouldn’t be a one-day thing, but Virgil’s been here for 129 days. As the song goes, “do you love me?” “B Present For Virgil”

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But even with more money than Jesus… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus” ha-ha. Um…

With all this money, that’s not what Christmas is about, is it? Am I really going to talk about Christmas? One day out of the year, when I seek joy, peace, and love daily. Hell! When did I know I loved my son? Our two-legged children, but let me talk about my firstborn, Braxton Barks Bradford. This is my second Christmas without him here. Love, if there is any consolation, Christmas is only one more day. Now don’t talk to me on January 31, but Christmas? B’s an afterthought at best. And then ask me about Virgil Vivi. Have I even thought about getting him a gift for the holidays? The money spent on 2V? He wants a present? Today he did have my concern.

Always. It’s what I give all my friends. My attention doesn’t amount to anything. Only I want to do better. Still, I am my “father’s” son. Money, Money, Money. And as the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” What else do I have, though? It’s been my problem. I care for so much, my love. I guess that’s a good sign, right? It ain’t Christmas, but I care. Yet I have my friends that I haven’t asked about in forever. Or my ass has an ulterior motive even though my heart is in the right place… Oh, it’s outside B III’s pine box? That was mean, but again, my problem. I’m present in that room watching Braxton die. Santa Claus ain’t bringing him back.

But that’s who I am now, on top of being a husband, daddy, writer, business owner, and everything. And I must be under that tree, light those candles, or whatever else. The holidays, bah humbug. I don’t want the kids to hear me say that. And all the things I should utter… Because money ain’t cutting it. I can tell you and the children I love you every day, and I mean it. Why doesn’t it seem to be enough, though? A lesson learned from my Braxton. Several, in fact. He didn’t need words; it was the action always. It’s Only Love. So I ran outside looking for Virgil, and there was fear until I found him running to me. One day, for you, family, business; B Present For Virgil.

688 Days Without B III, Day 129 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will