Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Being in some car dealership’s waiting room. It beats being on the side of the road. Or worse places. I could be sitting on the couch and get a call that B is dying. Then, cradling him in the waiting room. Try reading… Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

Friday, September 29, 2023

Tale 090 ~Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Ah? Do you like that? It’s a new intro I’m trying out for you, Lady Sophia.

Anyway, my story. Well, B’s story. Because Sophia, a day doesn’t go by without Braxton. His tale that is? See what I did there? I’m not trying to be funny. At 5:00 in the morning… “This is blasphemy! This is madness!” No. That was when I was sitting in Banfield’s “Waiting Room” for the word that my son would die. So much for any positivity today. Hmm? I’ve gotten back into listening to Motivational speeches… Only because I need audiobooks? Virgil, on the other hand? I should find him a chew toy shaped like a book so he’ll have something to do while he waits here. He doesn’t want to be left waiting all alone. Braxton’s room can be a scary place. So I’m assuming…

There’s no such thing as a comfortable waiting room. But we try desperately, Lady Sophia.

With books? Lady Sophia, I finished “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel” yesterday. That makes thirty-nine books this year. Again, being positive does not work for me. Being thirty-nine, E-Day, and breaking B III’s reading record, Sophia.

And as THEY say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So what was I doing last night with nothing to read? The Pic Phenomenon. I swear I saw this one girl and started going nuts. But did I… you know? Will I lie to you or myself? It usually ends up being both, ha-ha.

And taking my first break today, I was reading about how much having babies cost.

Only Lady Sophia, this bed is my waiting room. “When Will My Life Begin?” Existence?

It starts when I can pay my bills. I’ll have to drive the car to the shop this weekend. Again, I’ll channel those thoughts of how much it cost to tell me Braxton was dying. And then for them to do the deed. But Sophia, I always blame myself. And the Day Job, of course.

I should go to a doctor’s waiting room for myself. I can’t imagine my life without Braxton. I can’t recall a time I felt in good health either. I mean, when nothing is wrong, Sophia.

And my boys, both the dead and the living, are waiting for me… TO DO SOMETHING! Braxton’s Waiting, Room Virgil…

971 Days Without B III, Day 412 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

It wasn’t a big deal. I’d lay on the loveseat, and B would pick a spot and give me a look. “You good,” then he would listen to me, or if it was inappropriate, he’d fall asleep. Books and furry kids. Read all about it. “Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton.”

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

970 Days Without B III, Day 411 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re speaking on Sunday, September 24, 2023. You can guess my day

I wonder if I’ll make it to the couch today. And no, that’s not me being mean to Virgil Vivi, B. I was going to call him “the Freeloader.” Yeah, I need to stop that. I’m sorry. It’s not like I haven’t lain in our usual spot and read. “And it hurts like hell. Yeah, it hurts like hell,” sometimes, as the song goes. But today, I’ll be exhausted, lazy, or just plain stupid, B III. However, you would never say that. You wouldn’t say much, and if I couldn’t… books. That’s what I want to speak to you about. Don’t worry… (snickers) yeah right. Anyway, Triple B, I’m not banning books. Remember all the books I couldn’t read you. You’re a big boy now.

But I’m not. Seeing as how I’m still talking to my dead furry kid. That’s what THEY would say. And Virgil? He would prefer I get out of bed. The Dining room table isn’t helping. Considering all those long days I would spend writing, you would know all about that. Only we’re talking about reading. And I was looking at the Man In The Mirror. I spent all this morning listing off the books I was getting for cheap or even for free from people. Hometown Hero (The Breeder Book 1), Witch Girl Study Group: The Complete Series, Backyard Dungeon 2: A Reverse Portal Fantasy, and more. The year you died, 2021, I read about six. 2022 was nearly forty, if not more, Triple B.

2023 started off promising, but with Kindle Challenges, the series I started, and a need for more time. And I have a whole library waiting… What exactly am I asking for, Braxton? Um, well… I would have finished A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel. If it weren’t for running out of time or reading stuff, that would have someone reading me Miranda Rights at some point. And I hate reading anything about the bank and cash, but reading about dead fur babies vs. beautiful women and everything buried rising. Would it matter to you what I read, Braxton? Asking permission? As long as we’re together and still breathing. Braxton, I’m still reeling from your broken record. 526 Days. Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

So I can say I read the worst thing. The number 527. Braxton held the record at 526, as he was still in the world, but now? Now, I’m debating reading for Kindle Challenges. More books on dead fur babies. And… sigh, HaremLit. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil

Friday, September 22, 2023

Tale 083 ~I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… No matter how many times I read that, it ain’t true. But I’m thirty-nine with E-Day…

One more reason I look like a Republican. No, I don’t mean with skin tone, ha-ha. I mean the fact that I hate “my” history. Again, I’m thirty-nine, and what have I done? Nothing! Hell! The past three years have been spent reading about how to bury fur babies. But I should check how many books I’ve read on that subject. And I’m not feeling my Kindle right now. Amongst other things, but we’ll get to that, Lady Sophia. I haven’t broken 161, hmm. But 527? Last night, while reading “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” I broke my record with Monsieur B. That started Wednesday, September 16, 2020. Sigh. Yes, I know the streak ended Wednesday, February 23, 2022. Wi-Fi failure…

But I still got to see a day when Braxton was in the world, and now that reminder is gone. So there I was last night. And I’m apologizing for “forgetting” my son again, Lady Sophia. Forgetting, of course, isn’t the right word, but critics… And speaking of which, why don’t I give them something to criticize for real? All the books that I’ve written and should be writing. But Day Job plus laziness? Look what time it is. I should have been up at four. And while playing around with the phone for a while. What was I reading? Instead, what was I looking at? It’s not like I could have any fun. Virgil gets to sleep here. No reading on the couch yesterday

Who knows? If Virgil gets fifteen years like Braxton. Only I’ll be sitting here ranting and raving about minimum wage, making a change, and turning a page in existence. Too late! My Lady, I’ll be forty next year, and what will I be doing regarding reading and writing? Which do you think is more pathetic? Reading about dead fur babies. Or, let’s say, women and elements of life? For now, I’ll stick with my Amazon book orders —except for Eric Vall. I’ve made it through his series again, and Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 isn’t an audiobook yet. I still think Logan Jacobs is racist to an extent with “Backyard Dungeon.” And what of the “HaremLit” I’m writing? Seriously, Cherry and Braxton would be upset —the characterizations. I’ll Page Braxton, Virgil.

964 Days Without B III, Day 405 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

I haven’t seen a Math class in years, but still hate it. And reading… That’s how bad it is. I read novels in Math. But if I read one more day, my record with B III on September 16, 2020, is broken. Broken already, but… Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

963 Days Without B III, Day 404 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You could be anywhere right now. Better than here? Daddy’s in the Special Hell. Still?

What? You rather I be mad than sad? And yes, B III, I have already cried over you once. It was for the stupidest reason. But I was mad as Hell when Virgil came close to vomiting all over the phone a few weeks ago. Only he was sick. And when you were the same, Braxton? I could be all sorts of mad at you now. You know me and my fondness for list B III. Braxton, today is Wednesday, September 20, 2023. But by the time you read this, it will have been 964 Days that I’ve had a broken heart. Even now, I want to yell at you, ha-ha. What about the bed I continue sitting in that’s collapsing? Depression and Humiliations galore.

Cherry would not be pleased about what amounts to a character study. And neither would an ex-beauty queen that did… certain movies. And what about writing my books, like I always promised? Because the last thing I want to do to today B is more reading. That’s what brings me here today. As you can see, my record for “Days in a row” on Wednesday is 525, soon to be 526. And there lies the problem. Thursday will be 527 Days. Braxton… I’m breaking “my” record. And in so doing, a part of you… is disappearing. It’s like a Mario Kart Time Trial, your ghost. Virgil’s been here 404 Days, Braxton. Breaking a record like this doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things.

Hell! Braxton, when you died, I didn’t do anything… let’s say sinful for 161 Days. Counting today, I’m not even close to breaking that record at 54. Another reason I’m trying to talk to you instead of looking up Yabbos. But I did speak to your Aunt Carolina yesterday. Nothing can be that paradise, I would think. Although that would explain why you’re not breaking out of Heaven, Hell, or testing the Rainbow Bridge… I’m sure Virgil could use a break from my existing. He’s not so desperate today… Tomorrow? Triple B, you are your father’s son. You wanted to stay always and forever -trying to save me from breaking down in a broken world. I made “my” bed, this Hell. Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Do you remember reading about Carlee Russell? And what about the stuff she was reading? As for me… what do you do when someone leaves their cash at the ATM? Where do Miranda Rights come from? But I’m not a thief… of money… Virgil And Miranda, B.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Tale 076 ~Virgil And Miranda, B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or maybe I would be if I were another stupid thief. A member of the GOP?

But I would rather not read about them. Another old GOP white guy escaping punishment? And I’m not Hunter Biden, either. No, Sophia, as the song goes, “Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.” And while I’m busy singing, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Braxton’s Daddy is always a black man. And in America, what’s even worse. Stupidity? Uh, no. So why didn’t I get stupid today? Existence is either a porno or a crime, Sophia. I saw some ladies outside of Walmart today. And I immediately began rehearsing a script from “Street Blowjobs.” Or “Blacked?” Anyway, existence has been taxing, sigh —a week after the thirty-ninth E-Day. And Braxton’s been gone 957 days. “Just Another” day.

At least I’m not in a jail cell. And Virgil isn’t learning to read “Miranda Rights.” He won’t be hearing about vampires either. I know, I know, Lady Sophia. You’re asking what did I do today. Instead, it’s what I didn’t do. But I was talking to Braxton’s Aunt. So…

I’m at the ATM waiting to be broke again. Sophia, I drive up and see the cash tray is open. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all!” I don’t know how much money was there, but FREE MONEY! Now, we’ve all heard this question. If you found a million dollars in the street, would you take it? Yes! But my Ma didn’t raise no fool. Well, she did. But like most women, she’s into those crime shows, ha-ha.

Why am I not a killer? Well, that’s a lie. I know you’re sick of reading this. I killed Braxton. Anyway, with people, I’d never get away with it. The same with thievery. Cash money. ATMs have cameras and all sorts of security. Who knows what might have happened if I had run off with that money? Uh, jail? Desire is desire. And yet, today, I didn’t steal a thing. Stupid! As I said, what would some of the ladies do outside of Walmart for the right price in their desperation? And speaking of women, what will I download today that I haven’t paid for? I know a few people who own rather unscrupulous software. Criminality Sophia? But Virgil needs me? Virgil And Miranda, B.

957 Days Without B III, Day 398 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

If I can “see” ghosts, maybe V can too. Anytime I have to go out and pretend to be a good person, it sounds like a haunted house as I close the door. So besides writing, sleeping, or gazing at yabbos, I pretend it will be better. Virgil Pretends To B

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

956 Days Without B III, Day 397 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? More to the point. Are you happy? I read up on The Rainbow Bridge, sometimes.

It’s supposed to be a happy place. And more than anything, B, I want you to be a happy puppy. Hell! You were fifteen when you left, and I still considered you my little puppy. You’d be eighteen now. Even after your “passing,” I still call you for “medicine time.” How’s that for ACCEPTANCE? Your Dad could use some type of medication, I guess, B. Is it the fact that I’m calling out to the dead? Well, only you. But yeah, I have that book on vampires. It could be all the bugs biting as I clean up your yard like you would be proud. It’s all “The Land of Make Believe,” Braxton. But Hell is far too real. Which is why I’m writing today.

Yeah, your Daddy is time-traveling, but only a day. It’s Wednesday, September 13, 2023. And before I get started on why I’m talking to you so late. It’s around 4:30 p.m., and I’m in bed. Of course, sigh. V’s laying here pretending being here’s his “Welcome to the good life.” Like father, like freeloader. I swear, Braxton, one day I’ll stop calling him that. Lying? Daddy was never one for acting but, strangely enough, for ACCEPTANCE. Now, after E-Day, with me being another year older. I swear thirty-nine sucks. Thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six. Thirty-six was an awful year. Oh! I should have died at “Seventeen,” Braxton. But I keep pretending, don’t I? That bullying lie of It Gets Better. It doesn’t. Nothing stops. Nothing. Well, you…

Only I keep going like I was today. Do I want to talk about the Day Job now or yesterday? What about what I did after? All the time in the world, and besides eating and sleeping, what did I do with it? I was like you when your Aunt Carolina came through —buried in Yabbos. Only for me, it was Cherry’s. As if I could recreate that beauty like something out of “The Truman Show.” And speaking of big racks, there was also Momokun. After a couple of downloads, um… Your Dad is not a good man. And I don’t do well at acting. Well, “When we pretend that we’re dead,” you have me beat. Teach Virgil to be happy. Virgil Pretends To B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Day 1 after E-Day. How do I feel? I never expected to make it to 39. I always feel like a little boy that should be a “walker.” And now I’m reading about vampires. Every year, I wish for a zombie apocalypse. Before Braxton died. “E-Day B Fell Virgil”

Friday, September 8, 2023

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I wish I was drunk enough to say that’s why I’m butchering the English language.

But no, Lady Sophia. I am pretty sober, scared, skeevy, and what’s that goes… “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” And there goes my critic. “You can’t use words like that.” I’m sure I’ll be hearing that from my Olds any day now. I know, it never ends, never ends.” And the one I want to hear from my little boy, Braxton. Old age, sickness. I’ll say I killed him. But I didn’t kill it yesterday regarding E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Now, which of those terms do I keep forgetting about, Lady Sophia? As the song goes, “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.” It’s Day 1 of “my” brand new year, and I already wish… Again, Sophia, I’m one greedy “person” who turned 39. And it sucks!

So what did I do yesterday as I was turning? Coincidence I’m reading about vampires? A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising, to be precise. No more dead fur babies? Sophia, we’ll get to that. It’s the only reason I got up at around 6:00 a.m. V had a fall. Anyway, so, yesterday. “My” body doesn’t know what to do with eight hours, so I got six and some change. It was like any other “Lovely Day.” I let V outside as I drank a cappuccino. Then I helped myself to a cupcake and wasted away on the computer, Lady Sophia. Inevitably, the Old Man texts along with my Ma and bam! For someone constantly “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Fear, Adrenaline, “Fight To Survive.”

Not so much a fight, but I have a few days at least. But we’re talking about E-Day. So next? I took a shower, and then all that criminality; I didn’t do Wednesday. So, yesterday? Lady Sophia, I didn’t commit any crimes. Shocking! I know. If anything, I zoned out until it was time for Virgil to go outside again. Then I read and not much else until… the food. Now, that was a mess. While I was being all “Law Abiding Citizen,” someone else… Anyway, the food was stolen, I guess, and the second try was lacking. Doordash hmm? After that… to bed. And Virgil slipped off a pillow and hit the floor. Repeating. Rut, Regret… every E-Day, without Braxton. E-Day B Fell Virgil

950 Days Without B III, Day 391 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

Welcome to Level 39! Welcome to E-Day. It’s still the 6th, and the day is a waste. 14244 days of worthlessness. There were 15 years with the greatest guy ever. My son. And 39 years of living in terror of a few people… Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

949 Days Without B III, Day 390 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Welcome to Level 39. I think I’m going to be sick. Dead? Just Survive Somehow.

In the next few minutes… I could be joining you. I’m time-traveling as today is Wednesday, September 6, 2023; current time is 2:48 PM. Your granddaddy said he’ll be here at 3:00. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Braxton. How many more, hmm? The person I am right this second will change between his arrival and departure, Braxton. I said the same thing about you on many different occasions. But the one I’m thinking about right this second… I didn’t burst into tears at the Day Job for nothing. I needed the pain of losing you to negate the pain of losing myself. The Horror, the Horror awaits. We’re T-Minus 5 minutes. I thought midnight would be the worst, but your Gramps.

But let’s say I survive this moment. Braxton, he’s 3 minutes away, running late, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. This afternoon, I’m going to hop in the shower… I remember you hated me doing that. We are creatures of routine. And an evening shower meant… the movies. As in, I’m leaving you. There were your Aunt’s mammaries, which you loved so much. There was that time with the maid, Special K. Or there was more work from the Day Job. Must I make a big deal out of everything, even a shower? Braxton, please help me! Anyway, tomorrow, I won’t set any alarms. I’ll wake up when I’m good and ready. Braxton, should I order something for breakfast and lunch? Take care of Virgil, of course, duh!

Another thing for this afternoon. I should take care of all my criminality. Just saying. Don’t I always say I don’t have time to work on your albums? But somehow, I’ll find the time to work on some… anyway, The Pic Phenomenon. I’d never do that when you were around. And VV? He runs on fear and Adrenaline like me. Like father, like freeloader, ha. Stop! I hear ya, B III, I do. I wish I could stop this fear right now. And today, Braxton. Today, there’s a good night’s sleep, some good food, and Simoleons in my pocket, funny. It’s now 3:29. Your Gramps isn’t here yet. E-Day is coming for me. My E-Day wish is… that we are together. Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

A chapter done… Or will be, come E-Day as we’re headed that way. I wish it could have been as simple as the end of a video game or a movie with mutant turtles. Nope! I never want to be as old as “my” grandma. But Braxton? “B A Storybook Virgil.”

Friday, September 1, 2023

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Meaning that should I survive this coming E-Day. I’ll become the stuff of myth and legend.

Don’t forget about books. Um, I did yesterday. Kindle’s next challenge doesn’t come out until the 2nd. And until then? Well, there’s more dead fur babies. And a new audiobook. Hell! I remember when I was maybe seven and couldn’t dream of such things. I mean having money, of course. Here I am on the cusp of thirty-nine… Eww! The thought makes me wanna die. But I digress. When I was seven or thereabouts. And Sophia, I’ve told this story. I asked the question. “What the Hell is going on!” Talk about a humiliating E-Day. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game might have made it better, but leave it to grandmas. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze didn’t help. I’m ungrateful.

I wanted a game back then. Now, if I could have all I ever wanted, that is a letter. B. Okay, let me be specific and use his “government” name, my son, Braxton Barks Bradford. But he’s something you can’t order off the DoorDash App. No more E-Day cash (sigh). Well, if you count Braxton’s Aunt. But we’ll get to her. Orders from unscrupulous types? And Hell, I’ve even been looking at OnlyFans. But those girls are getting quite annoying. I’d instead pay off Cherry, M Anime, the MILF… Stick with paying off foreign contacts. In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been till 9:00. Not jerking off… buying Bitcoin. I’ve been thinking about the last “decent” E-Day. Braxton’s Aunt met him on E-Day ha-ha.

I’m sure she was here for other ones. And she even made a cake on Braxton’s birthday. It was the first time he ever said no to food. Well, there were his last days. An adopted grandma told me I should remember the good times. Braxton’s eyes were bigger than his stomach. And not his kidneys failing him. Did I mention I’m reading about grief? Always and forever, but I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. No! Thirty-Nine (shudders). Already, the writing is on the wall, literally. I’ve been getting messages from all over. Today, I noticed my Olds aren’t in texts. It’s been a month since I spoke to them… E-Day stories usually ended with Braxton. But now Virgil? B A Storybook Virgil

943 Days Without B III, Day 384 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

My first “Happy…” NOPE! That word is not in the vocabulary, but good works well enough. E-Day is nothing but nightmares. But when Braxton was here… Hell! The third E-Day without him is coming up. Not that Virgil says anything. To B Remembered Virgil…

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

942 Days Without B III, Day 383 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, we’re talking on Sunday, August 27, 2023. So you know about my Thursday. Sigh

I don’t think I’ve “worked” this hard… Well, since that week, I found out you were dying. I swear I’ve talked to the Man in the Mirror, Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo. Last again, B III? To my everlasting shame. But this week and the next… You know what’s coming? E-Day! I wish we could talk about the fence you guarded. Yeah, it’s been bothering me. Even now, I think I should put some more nails into it. Virgil’s been sniffing around. A way out, B? If only I had worked on all my other writing the way I’ve been working to endure the next couple of weeks. Your grandparents haven’t called or texted. Your aunt neither. Inevitable, I know. So, a question. Any room up there where you are.

The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven or Hell? You were/are a good boy, B. You remember that. Always and forever. But your Daddy isn’t getting into Heaven. And where I am now. Hot as it is, like one of the hoodies I wear, I miss your fur. What about sharing with you? Again, there’s E-Day —Emergence, Existence, Extinction. You didn’t bother remembering. Thank you. It’s the reason I miss your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, say hello sometime, please. Emerging from my bed as you stepped on my head was worth me trying, whatever. Existing, now I did that with you and your aunt or when I needed to protect you B III ha. Extinction, this week, next, I’m damn near forty but no only thirty-nine. Remember it, B.

As “I will remember you.” Listen to me about to sing some Sarah McLachlan, Braxton. Daddy can remember everyone else’s words but mine? There are memories and manuscripts, and do I go with mammaries or money? Movie nights? But you were such an old man when you met your Aunt Carolina. You met her on E-Day, remember that Little B? And she was here for a couple of mine and even one of your birthdays. Today is the first time I’ve remembered anything from that terrible day. It won’t last. But all my crying B. Remembering how I was born and how you died. And then there’s Virgil. A little Receiver of Memory if I spoke to him more often. If, To B Remembered Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad