Allow me to get my Lisa Loeb on. “You say, I only hear what I want to.” Don’t use a condom. “Ok.” Maybe I’ll get pregnant. “Ok, I ain’t got no money but I’m with you.” Three kids, V, cats. “Ok, bring it on.” I’m marrying someone else! B’s Not Gone V.
Tuesday, August 26, 2025
Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But who are you? Who am I? Most days, I’m a dead man walking. Today?
Hell, every day! Honestly, at this moment, I’m a Dog Dad. Braxton’s gone. Virgil remains.
“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing. I’m alive!”
Alive, Sia
“Look at me! I’m life. I live… I, I breathe… I feel. Now that you know it… can you really take it? Is it really worth the price?”
Equilibrium (2002)
I promised my boy that I would always feel because it was my Indifference that killed him. I was so busy trying to protect him from “This Animal I Have Become.” It happened every day at the Day Job. But that was then, this is now… Sunday, August 24, 2025.
Blessed with children, right? RIGHT! Not just the memory of my Braxton. I’m not only a Dog Dad to Virgil. We talked about this. A son I would name after my ‘firstborn’, my Braxton. Luke and Leia? If we had three daughters, I wanted them to be named after “Girls on Fire,” Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Link? Maybe Zelda. Names.
My name is Will and I was born… No! It still isn’t E-Day yet. I’m still forty, not forty-one yet. But again, it’s not E-Day yet. We’re still talking about Sunday, August 24, 2025, ok?
The day you looked at me and what? I’m guilty, sure enough. Geez, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” they’ll say. As far as being a great writer. I’m always and forever effing trying!
But I’ve been sitting here all day looking at myself, thinking you’re getting your Toni Braxton on “He wasn’t man enough for me.” I mean, I see my body, and today you decided to do this? I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you want children, a big family. Effing same!
Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood.
But I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. Every effing horror within this universe.
You’re the woman I want. As much as I want to hate you, “I’m still in love, Sho’nuff in love with you, hey.” I’m not Al Green and I ain’t Barry White either, “Never, never gonna give you up.” Now I sound like some MAGA Cracker Hat, a cuck, or a creep, don’t you think?
Communication, right? You were constantly saying we needed communication. Today… Today, I can’t fix this. I can’t see you as my ride or die one minute and tell myself, “you wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” And just like that, you’re gone. Braxton didn’t.
Seriously, though, for want of children. B’s Not Gone V
1668 Days Without B III, Day 1109 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will
