I don’t want to hear the ticking of the clock. Hell! I don’t want to listen to my own breath. It’s been over a week since I talked to “HER.” And B would be busy stuffing his face on E-Day. And I can’t buy a feast for V on Sunday. B Where E-Day Virgil
Tuesday, September 2, 2025
Journey 063 ~B Where E-Day Virgil~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that scares me. I don’t fear loving myself because I just can’t. Braxton? Virgil?
The only time I feared loving my boys was Braxton at the end of his life. And Virgil, at the beginning of his life here with me. A father shouldn’t have favorites. But my Braxton?
Braxton was/is my boy. Will I love Virgil as much? Should I make that my E-Day wish this year? I was taking a nap this afternoon, Monday, September 1, 2025, hoping I wouldn’t have to wake up. But “Here I Am” wishing for my boys, myself your Will. But Wife.
Baby doll, darling, my dear wife. Ever since Sunday, August 24, 2025, this E-Day. Eff!
“Here And Now,” it’s looking to be the worst since the very first, and this one I’ll be “Forty-One”. I looked up the thirty-seventh E-Day.
Tuesday, September 7, 2021 Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~ It was merely a wish list of thirty-seven things that I wanted. I never imagined I’d question these things, love:
- To fix my fucking mouth once and for all
- To never be told or feel like I’m STUPID
- To know Manhood as in never calling my father
- One single day without fear of anything at all
- A method to forget the things that distress me
- Three little words, “I Love You,” and mean it
- To look in the mirror and not hate myself
Regarding you. Ask me how I know I’m not MAGA, one of those Effing Cracker Hats. I don’t wake up intending to hurt anyone, love.
Okay, in Fifty Shades of Grey, Secretary (2002), Cool Devices: Yellow Star, and any of my novels, sort of way. Yes, I want to hurt you. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” I want you “Closer” I wanna fuck you like an animal. “I want to fucking tear you apart.” All of it love. “And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?” The fact that I hate the day of my birth with every fiber of my being. I was counting on being with you, saying we’ve created life. My Creed.
Darling, “With Arms Wide Open,” with my eyes wide open, if I thought you’d hear me. But you didn’t, Nobody Knows it but me” Yet you’re my “Obsession.” Still beats E-Day. B Where E-Day Virgil
1675 Days Without B III, Day 1116 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will
