I NEARLY failed “Math In Society.” It is the easiest math class in school. Oh, and how much was “my” tax refund… Virgil is learning how to be quiet. Braxton has a Master’s in that, seeing as I sent him to the Rainbow Bridge. My Grade, B, Virgil.
Thursday, February 6, 2025
Meditation 220 ~My Grade, B, Virgil~
1467 Days Without B III, Day 908 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If you were still teaching me to live and love… We aren’t much for laughter.
It’s not that we don’t laugh. You were here with your aunt and I. Movie nights, I laugh plenty. But laughter hurts more than tears, so I’ve been crying for two weeks straight, B III.
So I should laugh… Because I ENDED you B III. Euthanasia isn’t funny. I’m just a sucker for pain. Hmm.
I was back in school, though I had no choice being a kid. And now, at forty, I’m studying Live, Laugh, Love vs. Eat, Pray, Love. Eating, praying, laughing. No! You’re gone. And what money?
You weren’t one to teach me finances. Do you remember how much your dying cost? Braxton, I know that’s a sore subject. But I’ve studied that day for four years. Why’d you have to go?
There was so much more for you to teach. And as I said, live and love. I’m failing at both.
Virgil Vivi is a testament to that. He’s been here around two years and some change, and he has no idea how to be a dog. I remember being tasked with teaching you how to be a dog. Yeah, Braxton, you didn’t take to that too well. So then I raised you as my son, and in that, I succeeded. How’s that? Braxton, you’re a better man. Take a look at me now… B III?
Seriously, how can I teach Virgil anything between pop culture, i.e., living in a “Vivarium.” And how you talk to me through music. Even now, Joe Public’s “Live and Learn.”
Not that I blame you, Braxton. Ignorance is Bliss, or Ignorance is Strength. I’m learning…
Well, nothing at all. And I can’t say I want to. That is why I’m listening to Eric Vall again. I read books on pet loss. They all tell me what I should know. It’s not your fault… Me, you?
That the fact that I exist is worse. Next to nothing. According to the federal government, it’s $1,069. Does that sound like a man who provides for his family, Braxton? Virgil eats every day, but that’s about it. He eats, sleeps, and cries whenever I leave the house. B III?
I’ve taught him that. I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad. My Grade, B, Virgil
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad