Tag: Guilt

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

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If I could tell you a story about “Kamala Harris’s Win,” I could have given you a book review of a guy “having fun” in college. But it is the real world, reality; my stomach hurts, and I don’t want any stories. What about B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

Friday, November 8, 2024

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? No book review? Every day, existence doesn’t end. And who will tell “my” story? Why?

When I’m in no mood to write one. That’s another reason I won’t do a book review right now. I mean, what story would you like to hear, my lady? The stories out these days…

There are stories of victory. But not Kamala’s. I’ve been thinking about what THEY call “The Hero’s Journey.” Kamala Harris had all the elements of that. And as I often sing, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And I have a black Ma. So Lady Sophia:

“Because you’re (his) mother. Mother is God in the eyes of a child” Silent Hill.

It’s not hard to believe that a black woman would save us. But it’s not her fault now, is it? I keep comparing this election to the loss of my son. It’s a sick world; I signed paperwork, and then…

Love dies? And I mean all of it. You know I love Braxton more than I love myself. I haven’t told Virgil that I love him. I swear he and I have more of a Ben-Hur vibe, and that’s sad.

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live.”

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”

Will I make it to forty-one? Again, being a black man under a Trump Presidency, my odds are definitely diminishing. If my depression doesn’t get to me first. And what about the ladies, which I want to talk about. I could look up Stormy Daniels right now, my lady, Ha!

But there’s no physical reaction even though I like her. It’s these others: Jessica Rey, Kristen StephensonPino, Arianny Celeste, and the list goes on. Not trying to be a “Creep.”

Just, with what I’ve seen…

The truth? A woman can have a beautiful body but an ugly soul. Anybody that supports Donald Trump… But it’s not like I “Canceled” these women. When Virgil gets in trouble, I block “my” bedroom. He can still run the hallway into Braxton’s room if he wants. I’m not a monster. At least not in this place, my lady. Uh, Welcome to the Real World?

But in such things as “Sofía’s Nightmare?” I say some pretty horrible things about people, my lady. I have no problem writing about women, especially, but I’m not trying to be president. Not a king or a dictator. I just want to tell stories and let this place…. Reality, Sophia… Be a better world. I miss B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

1377 Days Without B III, Day 818 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 128 ~Son Of A B~

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Remember, Remember the 5th of November. I wish I could forget it. Hell! I don’t know what’s happening now. I’m avoiding X/Twitter, Instagram, and everywhere else. Reading about failing my son beats reading about failing my country. “Son Of A B.”

Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Meditation 128 ~Son Of A B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What the Eff! Eff, Eff, Eff! “Eff you, eff you and eff you! Who’s next?” (Coming to America)

This Is America! And I am ashamed to call myself an American. That is if everything I have been seeing is right. Inspector Echo… I went to bed last night saying, “I don’t feel so good.” And this morning… Well, there have been tears. And that’s my crime for today.

Not one of them has been for my son Braxton. M Anime and Cherry texted and asked how I was feeling. I dared to say that this is reminiscent of my son’s passing. Can’t be

When I looked into Braxton’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I tried. I’ve done everything I can, but I can’t save you. Please forgive me!” Yesterday, I did my best, Inspector Echo. You know me. I’m an effing misanthrope! But I voted for the people who I believed would bring positive change. And now, I’m left wondering what will become of them and me, Inspector?

As I said, I did my best. But winners go home and eff the prom queen! Yasmina Khan, Jessie Rasberry, the Midnight Sleazy Train series and even Cherry’s melons… No prom queens. Though if I know MAGA and the dictator… excuse me, next president’s taste…

Inspector, that’s one more way I know this isn’t good. I had no desire when B was gone, and now? I feel sick to my stomach. I want to silence everything. And what I’m seeing…

SUCKS!!! Everything sucks! Does that include the book I’m reading? Like I said, Inspector, since I haven’t been “getting off…” No Nut November, Election News, and the nothingness I feel.

Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven: How to Communicate with Your Pets in the Afterlife. I was lost before I finally got it up to talk to you, Inspector. Any comfort?

Honestly, I don’t know. It’s kinda preachy. Kate McGahan’s dog, Jack, is preaching to her and all of us. But I can see Braxton saying some of this stuff as well. I am not a prophet or philosopher. Braxton is not the “Son of a Preacher Man.” But Braxton is trying… Faith, hope, and love

Inspector. Braxton was supposed to be my apocalypse partner. And we are on the verge.

Talk about “I saw the sign.” Or coincidence… It’s was the fifth of November. I’ve watched V for Vendetta reactions with Virgil/V. Waiting for what now. Son Of A B

1375 Days Without B III, Day 816 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

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Is it a lack of food that has me Cannibalizing myself? I don’t think I got any Halloween candy. Perhaps the Day Job? (Shudders). I spent all my money on books about Yabbos and keeping V fed. I can’t have him meeting B. Yet… “Braxton and Virgil Meet.”

Friday, November 1, 2024

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I prefer it not to be a review of Joseph D’Lacey’s MEAT. I really said that!

And while Virgil is not my son Braxton… I don’t plan on sending Virgil to meet his older brother anytime soon. Braxton was still here when democracy was threatened before…

Election Day, then the Insurrection, and then the Inauguration. How I miss my little boy.

And I hate meeting new people. So, let’s start with the top contenders. Madam Justice, Dirty Diana, and the “Spirit in the Sky,” “My Sweet Lord,” “He’s My Son” Braxton.

Sophia, is there someone else? The voices in the head of a dead man. How about something to the tune of The Substance? Elisabeth Sparkle vs. Sue. “I Against I.” Only this is about us. It’s not about having bigger fish to fry. It’s just so many. Then there’s Cannibalism!

The MEAT and Greet Market:

I feel as though I’ve been here before… MEAT was before Tender Is The Flesh. But guess which one I read first? And which one got four stars? Uh, both. But MEAT was much more brutal… or should I say tough? Tender Is The Flesh is medium rare. MEAT is well done in the fires of Hell. I’ll eat both. I meant read both. Seriously, for all the Dead/Zombie stories, I read this book with living, breathing people eating… And let’s not forget the “adult situations” and worse. My friends… If my friends knew about such things as this. Am I crazy, or in a cult? Not much of a critic. The religious aspects, the riots, the rage… Chef’s kiss.

Today is Sunday, October 27, 2024, but by the time you read this, Halloween will be over and done with. I still need to figure out who I’ll talk to on Monday, November 4, 2024.

Again, Bigger vs. Many Fish, which is Election Day. Do you want to know how that story ends? Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for the win. Yes!!! Eff Donald Trump. I’m eager to hear your thoughts on this, My Lady.

Will I be “writing” new rules for Madam Justice to enforce? I’m not sure, Sophia. I’m feeling a bit lost in this sea of uncertainty.

Resurrect Dirty Diana. THEY would say I’m all crazy about the female form. Uh, Yabbos?

I could TRY to let my son speak through me. Or create a better version of myself to write about.

Younger, more handsome, more perfect. Wouldn’t that be my “two” sons? Braxton and Virgil Meet.

1370 Days Without B III, Day 811 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 121 ~We’ll B Saving Virgil~

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To save Virgil, I would have never come back. I would have picked him up, put him down, and pet the dogs next time. I could have saved Braxton if I knocked a lot of people to the floor. Saving myself? I don’t have a cape. “We’ll B Saving Virgil”

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Meditation 121 ~We’ll B Saving Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And no, I don’t mean waking up super late. It’s 8:20 AM. Or looking at… sending dirty pictures.

SINS, nevertheless. But not REALLY bad ones… Must I once again return to what I did to my son? Not a day goes by that I forget that Braxton’s gone. Have I not given everything!

The only answer, “More, more, more.” And so here lies Virgil, my “second-born” son, who is very much alive and well, Inspector Echo. A four-year-old.

I ask myself, does he get jealous. As I sit here at the edge of” the bed… “Ooh, it makes “me wonder.” What? About all my pop culture references. Because the voices in my head…

Inspector, it has been a mess for a few days. And when I say that, I mean around forty years’ worth. Give or take fifteen years. Anyway. It seems Virgil is pushing me away from Braxton’s “Shrine.” I’m no hero.

Far from it… This leads me to my fourth greatest sin this week… thus far. One is Braxton’s passing. The next is waking up. The third is continuing to fail Virgil. He went from “I Believe I Can Fly,’ And “Fly Like An Eagle” to “Dear Heaven.” The music, sigh.

And in case you are wondering why I’m not listening to Lofi Girl. Well, I get a day off, and instead of being productive… Uh, you and me are talking. I look up such depravity.

However, yesterday, I was headed to the Day Job. Outside this house, I saw a fur buddy walking alone in the dark. Why didn’t I save him? Why didn’t I even try? You know why…

The DAY JOB, Inspector. Working there has taken so much.

I can’t save myself from that place. The DAY JOB, short of my own two hands, took my son away from me. And here’s a third life that could have been lost because of my inaction. When I came back, I saw someone had found him and was trying to bring him home. But what about me, Inspector. I could have done something, anything. Inspector?

I don’t have to be some celebrity, fad, or influencer. Talk about “Hey Jealousy,” Inspector.

I don’t have to be a best-selling writer. my writing Inspector… It’s so much worse.

Worst is being a man of inaction. GOP politicians, specific photographers, a budding career in por… being an adult. Villainy, sickness, whatever. I dream, though. Someday. We’ll B Saving Virgil

1368 Days Without B III, Day 809 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 116 ~Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil~

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Reading, Writing, Arithmetic? Well, minus the arithmetic since I ain’t got no money. Plus, McDonald’s is in trouble, Pizza Hut was closed, the hot dog place is too far and Taco Bell sucks. But writing about such things. “Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil”

Friday, October 25, 2024

Meditation 116 ~Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or maybe I should give you a to-do list. A coupon on cleaning products… Last night…

I wish I could say there have been more tears for Braxton. If anything. I want to read more books on PET loss before “The Closing Of The Year.” It’s DARN near tradition for me to read Christmas… adult relations throughout December. But I miss my boy B III. Always.

Only last night, I was missing paper towels. Cherry’s red lips, hips, and the biggest ti.. Yabbos I’ve never seen. Don’t drink energy shots after 3:00 PM or watch… relations.

And that was my second thought this morning. The first was about making Braxton’s photo album. The second was when I was young. My gallery of adult material was Victoria’s Secret catalogs and a black binder. My “Bible Black.” Now my library consists of… Reviews?

Dungeon Big Enough For Thirteen:

It’s all about the numbers. And for now, that number is four stars. And I’ll tell you why Backyard Dungeon 13 is another winner of all but one. It’s awesome. But? But nothing, it’s a great read. Eddie is well on his way with his wives. I believe there are eight now: Ibseth, Amrila, Nileme, Bolra, Pregia, Gwen, Sigrith, and Tiana. Who didn’t see that coming? My favorite parts besides all of the Yabbos would have to be the ole find the big bad and take them out. And Eddie’s duel. It’s a lot to take in. And with my friends… Honestly, I would recommend this. However, going thirteen books and counting. And with attempting to hock the UK editions…

I know, Lady Sophia, that was very abrupt. Much like my eating habits. Do I just not care what goes into my body when I look at the grocery bill? Then there’s Taco Bell. Geez! Remember I told you about taking energy shots in the afternoon… Well… I spent most of last night before breaking for Yabbos, writing a “scathing” review about Taco Bell. Sigh. But I didn’t want to give them all my information, so I needed a new way to complain. I could always post it later. Hmm. There is so much writing to get done, Lady Sophia.

Today, though… what about tomorrow? And could we talk about November 5th? I’ll be checking the Constitution’s writing. I’ll vote. Freedom!!! Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil

1363 Days Without B III, Day 804 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 114 ~I’ll B Running Virgil~

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Did I outrun love or did B outrun me? God is Love… My Braxton is Love. He nearly made it to 16. Virgil is a quarter of the way there at 4. But what am I really running my mouth about today? Drowning in emotion or an energy shot. I’ll B Running Virgil

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

Meditation 114 ~I’ll B Running Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Like the MAGA hats, if I’m breathing, I’m lying. But instead of asking why. Let’s focus on how.

For the record, today is Saturday, October 19, 2024. (Record Scratch) “Yup, that’s me; you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.” Honestly? I downed an energy shot and decided to clean up Braxton’s yard. Shouldn’t I go start calling it Virgil’s yard? He turned four on Sunday. What was I doing when Braxton was that age? Sigh…

That’s the thing, Inspector. It’s not why I was his father. His Dad, but how. Don’t worry, your pretty head; we’ll get to females in a minute. Braxton found me. Love is louder and faster. Did I ever tell you I wanted to run track in school, Inspector Echo? Running.

I wasn’t in school when he found me, but he kept up. I carried him. My little boy B III.

Well, when he grew older. I’m never going to stop missing him. And I’m never going to stop saying how much being forty sucks. Thirty-nine, thirty-eight, thirty-seven… All the way “Back at One.” Again, Girls, Girls, Girls, comes later. But a couple of hours ago, in the backyard, much like at the Day Job, I started having terrible thoughts. “My future? It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.” And that means failure, fewer dollars, and the magic word, Inspector. FEAR! I’m awake because I’m afraid of everything. Everyone!

Echo, it’s all of the time. Ask me to name a fear off the top of my head. Water. Drowning.

I say I’m going to overflow like Mamimi Samejima from FLCL. And here we go.

If I’m not sweating because of some phantasm in “my” nightmares. Catching some form of the plague. Or doing public works. Uh, cleaning up the yard for puppies or neighbors.

Then I’m up because of my… A private part of my anatomy. Not so private for $5.00 or $100 for “The Full Monty” face and all. Pumping my life away. However, I wonder if energy shots REALLY help me push myself forward or if it is The Placebo effect. The constant questioning and self-doubt are a part of me now.

Whatever it is, Inspector, it has me at the dining room table and not swimming in sheets upstairs. And I can’t swim. Not without some pretty chick with giant floaties. AKA nice Yabbos. But somehow, Braxton kept me on solid ground. I’ll B Running Virgil

1361 Days Without B III, Day 802 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

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The things I think about come dawn. Why am I up at dawn? Where is Braxton? That was a nice dream about Michelle Trachtenberg. I need to do a book review about Bikini Dawn. What time do I have to work today? Oh, it’s Friday… “That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.”

Friday, October 18, 2024

Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Chapter one, page, word, whatever. I always feel like I’m starting over. Everything Dies: Season One…

While I’ll be doing a book review today… A review? Ha-ha! It won’t be for a T.W. Malpass novel. As heavy as that book is. I don’t even have children… AHEM, Virgil? But my lady, you know how I am regarding kids. I want to be a father someday… Funny!

I’m all about the jokes today. I can’t REALLY be a father when I put my firstborn son in a box and a pendant. Such is my Braxton. And Virgil? He was in Braxton’s room, peeping around the corner to see if I was up yet. And earlier, I was up in the dark… in more ways than one, thinking about Yabbos. So, I’m back to day one. But when did I read “Bikini Dawn…”

Night’s Riding Then Bikini Dawn:

Five stars! And that’s not only because of all of the “Yabbos.” This third installment of Michael Dalton’s Bikini Series was heavier than the second. Again, not because of Yabbos. If anything, there was a question a while back. How many “partners” does it take to make up a harem? Three works for me. And then there was their Papa Bear. Some of my favorite parts… Okay, okay, other than all the Yabbos, it was them answering the threesome vs harem question. The nostalgia of late-night softcore films. And the dream… My friends would be living the dream with this type of life. There’s one who really likes older guys.

I like girls and money. This book checks the boxes.

Okay, so am I feeling better now? Again, with what I read last night. And with what I had to read this morning. And then there’s what I didn’t read. B III’s finished novels, Sophia.

No, I would rather read the Day Job schedule, and have nightmares about it being Monday instead of Friday. However, I am surprised I didn’t dream about Emily, Vincent, and Kristin. Did I just spoil my latest read? I love my “sons.” But having a daughter… Let’s just say that I understand Vincent. Had it been my B III… No, I’m still alive. I’m here.

Sophia, I’ve been trying to look up stories of courage. Words from the bravest men.

However, what will I read next? That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.

1356 Days Without B III, Day 797 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

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Even without a whole lot of food, toothpaste is still needed and plentiful. I was lucky to find fajita chicken, a bag of tortilla chips, some shredded cheese, and salsa. Wait? I’m supposed to be starving and celibate… Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And how is that sitting in bed today? Bothering to wake up. Opening my mouth. Taking a breath.

I’m sure Braxton would call it BS. Especially since he no longer breathes. One more reason I’m ashamed about today. Or should I say yesterday? Honestly, I’m such a Republican.

Not really, Inspector. EFF MAGA! But you know what I mean. I’m so ashamed about the past, but at least I have the stones to talk about it with you. What about Little Virgil, Echo?

Virgil and I don’t talk. Ever… However, I’ll ask him the same questions I once asked Braxton whenever I came back to the house. Manners Maketh Man. Right, dearest Echo.

“Just me, Baby V. Did you have a good day? Good day?” Ask Virgil how many times I’ve confused the letters V and B. It’s not funny. I know, Inspector.

The things that come out of my mouth. And what’s the last thing I’ve said to Virgil. I woke up at 3:48 AM because it wasn’t a good night. Only to say… well, the s-word and why. I’m talking to you at 8:54 AM, so I’m late. What was I doing last night besides trying to make chicken nachos? Inspector, I have a theory that Braxton was always eating because he didn’t want to tell me the truth. His full belly was pushing out sadness…

Eww! Was that a joke about Braxton’s bathroom breaks? I meant I’ve never seen Braxton sadder than when he had a full belly. His last days? When it was empty…

Braxton’s Euthanasia beats out any sins I’ve ever committed existence-wise.

But let’s talk about yesterday. There’s all my talk of making a better “life” that doesn’t mean anything. When I wake up to mornings like this, Inspector Echo. Wasting time.

I can talk about the blonde in the gold bikini that broke me after what? Three days? As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” After I woke up my “Big Willy,” Inspector. Eww! And if it hadn’t been her, it would have been Cherry. Moaning, stroking.

Besides the stress from the Day Job, take a look around this place… “I got enemies, got a lot of enemies,” lots. “Many men. Many, many, many, many men.” Then there’s looking up bad guys. Like Isaku? My big mouth, Inspector. Dad’s BS, Braxton, Virgil

1354 Days Without B III, Day 795 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

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If Goodreads is any indication, I had the honor of reading to my son for seven years. How many of those books were appropriate? But reading about the stars, he would one day go to… But books are expensive? So is food… “Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil”

Friday, October 11, 2024

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If I can remember any of them. There’s “Morning Star.” A book review? Today? We’ll see…

But no promises. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Because what have I been reading besides books filled with women sans their clothing… There’s such enjoyment in saying that. Ha! Are my reading habits as unpredictable as the weather?

Anyway. Eight of the last nine books after Morning Star were about “Girls, Girls, Girls,” Sophia. Even Meat by Joseph D’Lacey had (adult situations). And I’m not talking about cannibalism and violence… Is that why I’m reading about the dead? Uh, zombies? My favorite monsters.

I wouldn’t imagine I’d have trouble with people. But if Braxton was an undead creature… Hell! Dr. Robert Neville dealt with Samantha. I’m a nobody. But Braxton. He is LEGEND. It’s like he’s alive in the pages. So I wish.

So, where are Braxton’s stories? What am I reading to remember Braxton? I’m a devil. Darrow, on the other hand…

A Morning With Morning Star
Morning? Is it morning already? How long have I been up reading Morning Star by Pierce Brown? And how long did it take me to decide to give five stars? Other than interrupting my sleep schedule… And, dare I say, a bit of a twist ending. There was nothing not to like about this book. Uh SPOILER… It’s like Darrow getting out of that box. After that, it’s all “go, go, go.” Blood, brotherhood, “babes…” and blowing stuff up all over. But my favorite part… The beach? The end? But how? I mean, I know how, but REALLY? Servo and Victra had more time. But I’d gladly share this book with friends to read about Darrow and Virginia and others… It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and I can’t wait for you to experience it too.

Not much of a book review, but I’m not much of a writer… Braxton’s books. And what about Virgil’s someday… I’m weaker. And that’s not only “my” old-age talking. What do you want me to say, FORTY? Anything that wouldn’t make censorship necessary. Effing FORTY!

What about food? That’s one more reason I’m late talking to you today, Lady Sophia. There was everything. From reading my Day Job schedule to reading my latest grocery bill. Seventy bucks! And that’s for a variety of chips and two types of chicken. It’s not like Virgil is starving and dying. He has plenty of food as long as he’s not stressing out when I leave and making a mess on the floor. Reading to him about zombies…Decent enough. Only… Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil

1349 Days Without B III, Day 790 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 100 ~Working For Braxton, Virgil~

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What do you want to be when you grow up? But I’m not finished growing. I believe in growth. Ok, I should cut the lawn. B wouldn’t put up with foolishness, my faking a life, and all my fears. Watching others eff? That’s not Working For Braxton, Virgil

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Meditation 100 ~Working For Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… It must suck, you know. Breathing. That’s the first thing that came to mind today. My Day Job?

Inspector Echo, we’ll get to that. But for now, shall I tell you the best job I ever had? Hmm?

Being Braxton’s Dad, of course. I will ask again. Now that Emergence Day is in the rearview, am I ready to start crying about Braxton again? I should return to reading about grieving fur buddies before December. Only I have gotten into reading about zombies.

It’s Halloween season. And speaking of scaredy cats. I would have invited Virgil to read with me, but I have known him for 788 days, and he has yet to relax. Inspector? Virgil is terrified.

Living in fear? No wonder the both of us are always so exhausted. Virgil’s fear has been a constant in my existence for 788 days, far longer than the usual acclimation period for new “pets,” which is 90 days. But Try 40 years of terror.

And before I forget. Virgil’s Birthday is coming up on the 20th. Will I still have my Day Job by then? Do I still have it today? How many times have I checked the schedule? The uncertainty is eating me up. Meat for the grinder.

Inspector, I was up at 3:00 AM on Monday and got fully dressed. “JIC’ Just In Case I got called for being late. Tuesday, I got up at the same time. And today? Well… It’s 6:35 AM, so I’m back to my regularly scheduled slothfulness. I’m waiting until Thursday, Inspector. Such anxiety about the future.

The fact that this is bothering me so much. I can’t enjoy the week. I had all this time. But, like Virgil, being afraid is an occupation in and of itself. The horror, the horror of living in constant fear and anxiety. But then, sigh…

Inspector, the living at all…

No wonder I was drawn to reading about the dead. This comes from the man who wants to make a living on his back… Preferably with some girl on top of me with a cracking set of melons, vying in ecstasy. Ah, Yabbos! Then again, to be behind the camera…

And while thinking about buttons, what about the story I’ve been working on, Inspector Echo? My Raison d’être and all that? I can’t say I’ve even begun Chapter Eight. Again, I was researching ideas, and that led me to Ashely Graham and Fiona Belli. BarbellSFM’s Mold videos and some other “sick” things. Dare I say Pestilence? Inspector, there’s having “WORK…”

That’s not a dirty word. Having it and not kills me. Working For Braxton, Virgil.

1347 Days Without B III, Day 788 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will