Tag: Knowledge

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

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How to, like the song, “Lift me up, hold me down, keep me close, safe and sound.” I put my son in a book, two unpublished. Not like all the books I’ve read this year. All the records. And 2V now sitting in B’s room for 125 Days. Virgil’s Library To B

Friday, December 16, 2022

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m always angry. Or is it scared, maybe tired? Is it horny? A murderer?

All the billionaires on Twitter? I would be in damned good company. Except I take responsibility for “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I didn’t want my son to die. Murdered. That’s the story I’ll keep telling myself. Hell! Everything else seems to pale in comparison. And no, that’s not a dig at Virgil. The truth? Virgil isn’t Braxton reincarnated. I should get back into reading books on dogs. I began “The Christmas Rescue” yesterday. The ways words have of pissing me off, Lady Sophia. These words, these words, these words, they have power. I know I sound um STUPID but take this under consideration. I read The Christmas Wife while Braxton was here. 2021 “The Christmas Nanny.” Now “The Christmas Boss,” “The Christmas Rescue.”

While I’m busy digging up this library and my son’s past, I should also mention… other family. It’s my Ma’s birthday today; no, I don’t know how old she is. Sophia, I can’t even say that I went to get her a gift this year. And no, I didn’t forget (sigh). I’m sick of reading about how broke I’m getting with every passing day. And the possible answer is on all these pages. Or, at the very least, read more and stare at titties less. Is reading about them any better? Last night, I found myself getting pissed even more. First, I blame Elizabeth Kelly. Again I read one of her books with Braxton around. One after. Two with Virgil. Somehow it seems somewhat fitting…

I had a 526 Daily Streak from September 16, 2020, to February 23, 2022. Fucking Kindle ruined it. Anyway, my point is Braxton is between the lines. He’s everywhere, Sophia. Even when I’m sitting here, hot as all Hell from day one of NO FAP again and angry for ruining a seven-day streak. I can imagine B III cuddled up with his Aunt’s boobs today. He died as I had finished reading Succubus Lord 7. And yet I wonder why I listen to the Succubus Lord series again and again. Though the tenth one is my favorite, to be honest. I read The Enchanter after Succubus Lord 7. Thinking of seeing Cherry’s Yabbos for real. So many books, and where’s Virgil? Virgil’s Library To B

684 Days Without B III, Day 125 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

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Do you believe in life after love? I’m still here. Oh, won’t you stay with me? More songs I can rip off? Believe it. As I believe my son is out there. I don’t believe in God. I believe in B. As far as women? Like B and his “aunt’s boob.” B Leave It V

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I once believed that $300 would solve all my problems. Took more burying my son.

Well, you know what I mean. I’m always thinking about B III, even with time travel. Tuesday marks 681 days, my love. And “I Still Believe,” I took out a hit on my own kid, B III. I had him cremated and put into a box I have only ever opened once. It rests on the nightstand. At least, that’s one thing that has remained constant with me. My love for him. And you? I don’t know how you stand me; I’m getting to be like Braxton’s bed. I had to wash my hoody and, of course, the sheets. If it helps, I can’t remember when I threw out the last can of his food. I’m sure I talked about it. But his bed, bowl, his last bag of Cesar…

“V, leave it!” It’s one of the few times I can remember his name. Virgil Vivi Bradford aka 2V aka V. I’m not ready to leave Braxton Barks Bradford. My firstborn; let him go. But is it worse that I’m not ready to love again? I mean, not with our kids. I poured the Bisquick, so you and I have had plenty of pancakes. I love B like pancakes, but then there’s Virgil once again. I’m starting to count the days without my saying, feeling, and living with love. “Another Day,” I keep telling myself, “Give into love or live in fear,” right? Only I fear that the man you long for will never return. Braxton lived his last second loving me. His last look?

And while there will always be a part of me that says you’ll one day get sick of me, love. Yeah, like that part that said B III would live forever. That Virgil’s his reincarnation. Somehow I believe I’m worse… Didn’t think I could be after Braxton. But here I am, hurting you. Only it’s not with some needle. As it began with Braxton… Indifference. Perhaps that’s what Braxton is telling me these days. But I feel plenty, my love. I keep saying, “I love you.” Do I show it? As safe as Braxton’s bed. My dog tag, pendant. Everything I’ve read this year about fur babies says leaving the pain doesn’t mean losing the love. But I Want It All! B Leave It V

681 Days Without B III, Day 122 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

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Of all the things I take pictures of. In the mornings, um… usually boobs; in the afternoons, it’s 2V. And when it gets late, book quotes usually involving dogs or boobs… and wisdom. I wish I had more pictures of B III. “B More Photogenic Virgil”

Friday, December 9, 2022

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I ain’t no superhero, I ain’t no Marvel Comic.” Damn true.

As true as V not being my son… I should get back to reading books about fur babies Lady Sophia. “VCard for Christmas” had Bull and Muff, but we’ll get there. First, my not son. While I was at the Day Job, I had to think of something that didn’t so closely resemble Hell. Now I am going to Hell someday for what happened to B, but again V’s moment. Every day I take his picture, but why? Braxton was here for fifteen years, and how many pictures are there? I guess as proof that Virgil is still alive. But, you know what I see. Lady Sophia, it’s more what I’m trying to see. I want to see Braxton in him. Only I never do.

You take these things for granted, you know. When I’m not sleeping, I’m always crying. To this day, I remember Braxton’s last look. I was/am his dad. Right up to the very second, he felt his life slip away, and I became a misanthrope, a monster. “I don’t wanna be a murderer.” Lady Sophia, more music. Reminds me of V crying when I leave the house. He’s much “Happier” when I’m sitting here… lying here, reading a Christmas Erotica… Not out loud, of course, ha-ha. It’s always the same story or ending, at least, yep. A picture of the life I want for myself. It’s not like Virgil is getting any browner. I don’t see myself walking out of the Day Job. Oh, and misanthrope?

Sophia, being honest, I’ve always been. I should have my face in the fucking dictionary. Me, with a big STUPID grin on my face. My smile is for Triple B. I wish that were true. Thinking of the future, though, always gets me back into XXX. Wheeler Walker Jr., anyone? If my son isn’t here anymore? When looking at Virgil, I’m not seeing him either? Women! Always with the women. I still see myself marrying some cute brunette someday, Lady Sophia. A brunette with cute glasses and a nice pair of tits. Is that drool? For the record, I continue to hate looking in a mirror. And yet what I want from 2V, somehow, someway. To see myself in his eyes… B More Photogenic Virgil.

677 Days Without B III, Day 118 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 158 ~To B Yawn Virgil~

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Well, it’s not in the center of the bed. It’s not on the landing below the stairs. And it’s definitely not sniffing B III’s bed. But no matter how tired I get. Even if I’m unsure if Virgil belongs or if “SHE” will ever be found. To B Yawn Virgil

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Saga 158 ~To B Yawn Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m different. I hope so. But as Taylor Swift put it. You Belong With Me.

Another reason I don’t want to get in the car and go anywhere. You know that song of hers, Anti-Hero, has been all over the radio. Worse? All I Want For Christmas Is You. Anyway, at least if I must go anywhere, my business is full of beds. But besides the obvious, what I want to do is talk about dreams. And more on what Trevor Noah spoke of. Intimacy? Let’s start with the dreams. Last night I dreamt of this prison, but it was like an ivory tower. Didn’t I say something like that Monday? So it wasn’t as desperate as Andor. One Way Out! No. All I did in the dream while I snuck about was walk out the front door. My escape

Dreams are messages. I still believe that. We only need to decipher the meaning, My Love. Well, this one was from Braxton. It seems every day I think of him being so high above me. In Heaven? I don’t know. But going up is in the wrong direction. Don’t Look Up? That is incorrect. Head in the clouds, wishing upon stars. And prayer? I keep saying, My Love, I don’t talk to God anymore. But I can say that about… You, the children, the little usurper in Braxton’s room? I shouldn’t be mean to Virgil. Never like that, My Love. But I was lying in bed this morning, Virgil pushing us off to the sides. That’s a Braxton move. Well, only if you’re here today.

But he’s up there, and while I’m not sure Virgil belongs here after 115 days, what about you, My Love? Always and Forever; that is where I stand. And I hope you are always right beside me. Is that it? I am still determining where I’m going. “Escaping” in my dream. I don’t know what’s next, and that’s Intimacy. It’s what I’m trying to explain to M Anime. It’s what you and I share, and yet at the same time, I’m afraid to, My Love. There’s all that B III meant to me, the man I am. All Of Me. No wonder THEY find God. Somebody that won’t tell on them. Showing that they don’t belong. But you’re “We Belong Together.” To B Yawn Virgil

674 Days Without B III, Day 115 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

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I call myself a writer… a leader of men… I only needed to know the language of a fluff ball 670 days ago. But, of course, I stopped listening to B III. And Virgil Vivi, whenever I leave, he cries. But what else is he saying? Uh? B’s In English Virgil

Friday, December 2, 2022

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m mad as Hell, which is par for the course, I guess. English, Billionaire, B…

He’s still gone. I should have read a few books on necromancy instead of reincarnation. Hell! Considering my grades in school regarding reading and Language Arts, hmm. That’s what I was thinking about at the Day Job. If only I had been a better student Lady Sophia. Yeah, I wouldn’t be stuck where I am right now. Fighting off sleep and talking to you. Ok, so that was mean, and I apologize. But what does that do? I apologized to B for not being able to save him. I even said I was sorry to Virgil for how I picked him up. There are a couple of ways you can look at that if we go back 111 days. Gotcha Day. How could I ever?

Virgil Vivi and I still need to understand one another. Could that all change now that I have a few days off? I swear, my lady, these words have so many meanings. How Bizarre? Like saying I’m sick. Do I mean mentally, physically, or emotionally? Oh, there’s my rage. My body has been sick for so long; I don’t know what it is to feel better, to be honest. Though I haven’t been right since Braxton. Well, even when he was here, Lady Sophia. Breathing was easier. I talk to him every Thursday or when Time Travel Permits Sophia. I even pray to him. These few moments I once gave “God,” but I never learned to talk to him the right way… Steve Buscemi said:

I remember Todd using “Buscemi” as his “safe word.” On the one hand, Todd is right… sorry, Mr. Buscemi. It immediately shuts down thoughts of sex. But then, Succubus Lord? It’s where I know Todd from. And speaking of which, where’s the holiday erotica, hmm? Not that I mind reading about dogs. One more lady’s success while I continue failing. Writing, speaking, “Lord Give Me A Sign.” I’ve been listening to a lot of music instead of audiobooks. What! Should I listen to Succubus Lord yet again? And I have other books, but I haven’t been in the mood. The same can be said about people at the Day Job. HUMILIATIONS GALORE reaching epic levels! I can’t even tell Virgil. I need to learn his language… B’s In English Virgil

670 Days Without B III, Day 111 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 151 ~To B Dedicated Virgil~

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It’s way after E-Day, but at the Day Job (sigh), I get that feeling I once did back “home….” “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” But then, um, B III. What about my OWN “family?” Not like I like my existence. But, To B Dedicated Virgil

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Saga 151 ~To B Dedicated Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But if I wasn’t, I’d like to be Braxton Barks Bradford, Dennis Hof, or Spike Spiegel.

Notice none of these men ever had REAL families. Dennis Hof had kids he never got to know. But of course, I return to my firstborn son, my B. But today, let’s talk about Spike. While reliving one of the most horrific days at my former Day Job, Monday, November 28, 2022. I thought of something Spike said once. He was A personal hero to me at one time ha-ha.

“Did you know that there are three things that I particularly hate? Kids, animals, and women with attitudes.” Spike Spiegel

Now my former vocation was not something I was built for. But how many years did I keep it because… fuck if I know. A MAN PROVIDES. As always, I am a traditionalist. If a man can’t provide for his family, he shouldn’t have one. But besides the career I have, I wanted more. I wanted to be a dad.

Our two-leggers are to die for. But again, there was B III. I keep thinking about yesterday, the day of the beast. 666 days without him, 667 now. Hell! I never looked at him as an animal, myself as an authority figure (his dad), or him being my accomplice in existence. Inevitable, though, given the circumstances of the situation. The same thing I can say about my business. Helping lonely people is one thing. But everything for the animals, My Love. I still hate my “father’s” two dogs. I’ll never hang around Rottweilers. Yet I believe dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc. Deserve a good home, a full gut, and all the grace from God above. Whoever THEY hold him to be. Because people, My Love

Women with attitudes… oh, with my career… I’m no one to talk though. I love you. Women are the most beautiful creatures in this world… Um, next to my B III. I love him most of all. And Virgil. 108 days and counting. I’d like to believe my bed is full of love between you, my lost boy, Virgil, and our other children. Every morning I wake up right on the bed’s edge. I guess I can say that about a lot of things. I’m on edge; you are with everything, the kids. And now I’m thinking about Spike Spiegel and how he died alone. But he was dedicated. That’s what I want to remember about him. “Is This Love?” For you and my existence? Trying. To B Dedicated Virgil

667 Days Without B III, Day 108 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

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It wasn’t a dinner to write home about. But I’m not a bastard. I thanked my Ma and, of course, shared with Virgil. Who knows, maybe we could have our own full Thanksgiving meal if I were writing books or reading those of merit. They’ll B Books Virgil

Friday, November 25, 2022

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I will be if any of my books get turned into a movie. Right, NaNoWriMo…

I’ve missed the whole damn thing at this point. And as far as what I’ve been writing… Well, the most positive thing I can think of is this. The past two days at the Day Job haven’t been the most horrible in recent memory. But it’s better not to talk about today lest I cry. More like flying off into a RAGE. Considering a few recent “stress releases.” I’m hopeless. Ok, back to positivity. I did finish reading World War Z Thursday. A Kindle Challenge. But that means one more thing I have to do today. Finding something else to read. And Lady Sophia, it’s getting around that time. The books I read over the Christmas Holiday (sigh); we’ll get to that. But my education…

Hell! Like I ever took that seriously before. If only I had done so. There are so many idiots making billions and ruling the world. Not to mention all the people making money for anything and everything. That is another reason I’m heavy into Audiobooks. Succubus Lord? How many times has it been now, Lady Sophia, reading about Jacob and his Harem? Sophia, I have plenty of books about harems. Only reading my writings and musings, ha. And as I said, we’re approaching Christmas, which means Christmas Erotica. It’s a little bit funny; I’m unsure how to feel about that new movie, Violent Night. Christmas sex? Um, yes, please. But violence? Especially since I like Home Alone and Die Hard. Hard, something I don’t want.

Well, only when I’m in a position to have some girl do something about it, Lady Sophia. But I’d give it all up to go and read a book with Braxton napping away. Memories, Sophia. The turkey dinners Braxton and I would get from my Ma. In comparison to yesterday, Thanksgiving indeed. But aren’t I a grown-ass man? Yeah, I’m nothing to write about. And again, the Day Job could have been a million times worse. And if I wrote something, anything, of merit… It always comes back to this. B III would be alive. The unbridled avarice of his own turkey. And A for Archie wouldn’t have become V for Virgil. Is that mean? Virgil will have a book someday. They’ll B Books Virgil

663 Days Without B III, Day 104 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 144 ~B III, 2V, One~

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I can’t tell you the first time I told B I loved him, but I remember the last time. And when it comes to women, I’m less Akon “I Wanna Love You” and more “I Wanna F You” Plan A or one. But first, there are my boys. And what about me? “B III, 2V, One”

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Saga 144 ~B III, 2V, One~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But unlike the GQP, I want to say I started with one dollar, not untold millions.

But when it comes to existence… No, I instead start with life. In honor of one who no longer lives. My son. How did I know that he was the one? I’ve said it many times over. The night B stood against my father. The day he jumped into the car. Why can’t I stay? And here come the tears, remembering his final look when he died. I murdered him… Anyway, there have been no tears for Virgil… yet. How did I know Virgil was the one? He was smart enough to use the paper. The fact he is as fearful as I. Braxton speaking? Hey Lover, I’d say that the first girl B liked I’d have to marry. B’s still looking out for me?

Then that makes me a type one, first-class, Grade-A asshole for how I am. Hell! I love my boy more than the “man” in the mirror. He’s not the one. I would instead love the man that he thinks I am. The man you see. A man worthy of being called Daddy. How I try. You know I’ve always wanted to be one. What’s My Age Again? I counted the days, our kids, the fingers, toes, and paws. One day, I hope to be counted on by our two-legged ones to help with their homework. How many days have I cried for Braxton Barks? Today that’s 660, and I continue, especially on days like today. It’s like I have the old-day job once again. FUCK!

And I never loved such a place, EVER! But how long does it take to fall out of love, hmm? I pray that I never find out. Because despite everything, my love for you has never changed. But I can say the same thing about Braxton. I said his name again last night while saying goodnight to Virgil Vivi. It could always be worse. Another girl? You’re my one and only love. And I could go on and on, what I mean by that, you know. “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” As the poem goes. But is there a right way? A wrong way? Just one-way? Is my heart in pieces, or has it grown bigger? B III, 2V, One

660 Days Without B III, Day 101 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

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If I were writing out my vitamin regimen, that would be something. But no, the usual. I miss my son. Work sucks, I know, as the song goes. I’m always horny. Discombobulation, depression, death, I fear, thanks, Yoda. Things within me, Vitamin B, Not V

Friday, November 18, 2022

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can buy plenty of books, the good drugs… um, women? That’s not right.

But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a bit. With all of my medical issues… yeah, I’m always horny, as well. M Anime, Cherry cue (homer drool). If I had the cash, My Lady? Can’t buy me, love, right? But what is it they say about an adoption fee? I look at V here… Only I still want Braxton back. Should I read another novel on reincarnation, perhaps grieving? If anything, I should be asleep right this second. But the meaning of my WORD? Sophia, I said I would never get back into 5-hour ENERGY, but here I am, wide awake and raring to go. I can’t tell you why I went back to buying them. Hell! The world sucks, and to torture myself?

Was it reading my last paycheck and going nuts? The money never seems to be enough for everything. As you can see, I’m time-traveling. It’s Thursday, November 17, 2022. Oh. There was reading the Day Job schedule, and I reached this conclusion. Call it a new life goal. I want a job, a career… Fuck it, a life that I can stay in bed all day. Again with the sex. It’s the only thing that keeps me awake despite everything else. I need more wakefulness, ha. Yet I don’t want it. Every night I go to bed hoping I’ll never have to open my eyes again. Who would take care of Virgil? When it was Braxton, it was only hoping I don’t go to jail.

What? I’d have time to read, and if the prison movies I’ve seen are any indication… (shudders). The one constant thing is the Humiliations Galore. Awake for that, Sophia? This whole year has been about my health. From my fucked up ears to a bacterial infection and my broken glasses. Stuff going into my body. Only I rather focus on putting a particular part of my body into things… people. Sex toys, women? I should stop talking, I know. Tomorrow will be worse than today. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s betterment. From some motivational speech. The things that go into my head; Braxton in my heart. And now energy drinks, so the words will flow out of me. But nothing for NaNoWriMo? Vitamin B, Not V.

656 Days Without B III, Day 097 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 137 ~To B Judged Virgil~

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What’s the measure of a man? First… get your mind out of the gutter. Second, that’s the name of a song. Am I judged for what happened to B? The fact that I provide for my family everything but… What love? I truly loved and then… “To B Judged Virgil.”

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Saga 137 ~To B Judged Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I ain’t saying you’re a gold digger. To talk about something normal like “Kanye West.”

No, you know what I want to talk about, cry about, and dream of. Can I be judged for my grief? My guilt, my depression, and the choice to live my life this way. For the longest time, there was no choice. You and me against the world. A little fucked up saying that. Love. It’s like that show Whose Line Is It Anyway? Things you can say about your dog but not your girlfriend… or wife. Or can I. It shows you how much I love B. The same thing. Before, it was he and I against the world. So here it is 653 Days in, and it still seems much of the same. Can you blame me? Better yet, can you judge me?

Of all the things I thought of that you wouldn’t understand. Braxton wasn’t among them. And Virgil? How tempted am I to say he’s our children’s dog? Resurrection? Virgil isn’t. The business that I’m in. Hell! Like Dennis Hof, I didn’t think I would find love. Only I do believe in marriage and family. The whole 2.5 kids. I’m a bit of a traditionalist, as always. The things that I like that I want. “All I Believe In.” I know I’ll be judged for such things. But Braxton’s death? The way I treat Virgil? And then I look at you and our family. “All These Things That I’ve Done” or haven’t. Like forgiving myself. Forgotten… God, I want to fuck right now. But my punishment…

Was it wrong to do what I did; is it wrong to live like this? Is it wrong to grieve? One more reason I have no need for faith. I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” So what do I do? Love; one day, I imagine I’ll find “you’re long gone, gone.” Another slice of penance. That may be my ultimate goal. I read somewhere Hell is a place devoid of God’s presence. And doesn’t it say in the Bible God is Love. No, Braxton is love, and so are you. Baby girl, I prefer Stephen King’s “God is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live.” Truth. Because I’ve spent my life wanting power. What do I do with it? Judge for yourself. To B Judged Virgil

653 Days Without B III, Day 094 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will