Tag: Writing

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want this Father’s Day? I’m not a dad? I ain’t got a wife. Braxton’s been gone for 868 days. And am I counting 2V? Not like he could get me a new computer. And as far as my Old Man. I’m not looking forward to texting. “Father, I B, V.”

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that beat getting a good night’s sleep? Being a good man. A father. Like Hell!

The highlight of this week so far… well, was just before midnight. So this is all on me, I guess. Literally! I was beating off to pics of a brunette’s ass. It was her flowy white dress getting me going. “Mawage.” Doesn’t that come before everything else? You didn’t say that, did you? Speaking of things you don’t want to say today. Happy Father’s Day! Your son is dead. Are you coming? Not now? In the last twenty-two minutes… You’ve been staring at that brunette’s ass again and looking up Lulu Chu Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? And Mishell Lee from LOAN4K. If you looked up gifts the way you do porn. Your father should get a present considering the son you are. Right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dogging Slut (BDSM Erotica) Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Again speaking of Impossible Things… Give Braxton his life back. Or make one for Virgil. I swear you have “foot in mouth” disease today. And you need a foot in your ass, to be honest. How many steps did you walk from the bed to the bathroom and back today? You weren’t sick. It was where I set the alarm. I thought it might; I don’t know. DO SOMETHING! Who are you, “John Q?” You’re Will B. Not that it means a damn thing, hmm? You can’t even call yourself a man. And no, that’s not you being all political or some gender mess. Titties! What did Clopin sing, “What makes a monster and what makes a man?” Well, answer. Even when Braxton was here, you had, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you know something. I believe I was better. Is that a confession, consolation, or plain confusion about what it means to be? What about what you mean to B? You are his dad. And again, there is always Virgil Vivi. More like 309 days and counting, you believe. Please, not to be all Alanis Morissette but “You, you, you oughta know.” Because that is what a man does. A father, a daddy. And today is your day. Is it not? But to celebrate? Trust me… which is what all politicians say, sigh. You are in no mood. Virgil is here. And Braxton, in spirit. Suppose you aren’t too busy trying to make Virgil him. Do I believe in you? “SIGH.” Father, I B, V

868 Days Without B III, Day 309 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 350 ~V’s For Voting, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

No ballots to read… yet. Even if there were, I’d read about dead fur babies or how much it will cost to see a chick’s nice big… Uh. I open my eyes, and I have a mini-election. Do I get up or stay down? Cry over B or let V out. V’s For Voting, Braxton

Friday, June 16, 2023

Saga 350 ~V’s For Voting, Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m voting for me and mine. That is to say, Braxton. Blacks, Browns, for Trump…

Fictionally. I don’t have a billion bucks. But if I did… I’m all for that paper. “Cash Rules Everything Around Me. C.R.E.A.M., get the money. Dollar, dollar bill y’all.” B and I are both for a strong border, like keeping people and dogs away from us. The only illegals here were the stupid. And we were both rooting for the Sith, the Empire, Yes, Star Wars. But in reality, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And, This Is America, ok. I voted for Biden and Democrats pretty much across the board. Ah, the politics of today. I didn’t mean to get all political today, but when I woke up with V here… Uh? “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem; it’s me.”

Braxton or Virgil? It would be Braxton without question at this moment and everyone hereafter. Again Virgil is here now, and no harm will come to him. I’m trying, Sophia. Though if today I was looking at the ballot to bring back B, stay with V, or join B dead… Existence or Life? Again I couldn’t tell you what it means to be alive. I still try doing Balance’s meditation. And the simple act of taking a breath is a challenge in and out, ha. Pain or pleasure? Sticking with the whole in-and-out motif. I woke up this morning feeling decent physically. But that’s until I felt a nugget of earwax in my left ear, so I’ll worry all day. Better to look at boobs…

Crime or cash? Aren’t they one and the same? But in this sense. Will I dole out more money to imagine some girl’s boobs… uh yeah, imagine… And what was I doing last night, hmm? Or will I do anything to make some bucks in a legit way? Well, I’m already late getting up, and that’s because, um… The Pic Phenomenon. And next week is going to be effed up. Stay in bed or go out to get food? I would choose the bed, as my stomach doesn’t guide me. No! I need to power my devices. More porn and more print. Kindle Challenge? Horrible. But I vote to keep going, much like Virgil. Why? “Now that the world isn’t ending.” V’s For Voting, Braxton

866 Days Without B III, Day 307 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t had any medical coverage since I was 26. My Ma always told me I didn’t make it a habit of getting sick. Cut to Braxton’s passing, wearing my earphones too often, and Pizza Hut food poisoning. And what about addictions? To B Recovered Virgil

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even with that, you can’t stop death. But you can damn well try. But you… sigh.

Besides telling you, yet again, that you woke up to a world without B in it. Ain’t that a bitch. Hell! Some wounds are never going to heal. So what did you expect right now? Today is always for lists, and here you are five days in. I should have cursed out Pizza Hut, to be honest. Not that you can blame them over the bum ear. I swear, punishment. Wednesday, I was an effing fire hydrant… Eww! Uh, that was way too much information. Thursday, I was weak, and it felt like bombs were going in my stomach. Retribution? Friday, I was only being punched in the stomach. But I endured and survived. Whatever. And Saturday was a breathable pain, but I got chills.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can’t focus on anything but the pain. It seems like. The same as you. God, how I miss B. Because your pain wouldn’t matter when it came to his, do you remember that? Hmm? Or how about the other little one who now rests at the foot of the bed? I don’t mean the little head. Today is not the day for this. You feel pretty effing horrible. Let’s be clear, though. We’re talking about Virgil, who I barely saw yesterday. Do you think that he knows? Is that why he seems to be reverting to his earlier days? When being Dad again? No! Even now, he’s not your son. But what is he? Not Braxton resurrected. Was he rescued? Is he recovering too?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Kindle Challenge) etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I forgot Six Impossible Things but what about you? You don’t have much hope for yourself. Ok so this very second 7:37:27, 28, 29… This right here, right now, is your effing existence. Congratulations! It’s as good as it gets. You are sitting in bed breathing. Bouncing? I effed that up. Between Jill Kassidy saying, “I want you to fuck me.” And my favorite English girl’s melons. What am I, a DJ of pornography? Pathetic, perverted… Only all you want is not to be redeemed but recovered from everything. Good Luck! Braxton isn’t coming back. And Virgil? He needs to go outside. Are you getting up? Remains to be seen. Between puking, painkillers, and porn? None of that brings you back. To B Recovered Virgil

861 Days Without B III, Day 302 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 343 ~B Steps Closer Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Every day I’m closer to B, but as the song goes, “I’m dying slow, but the devil tryna rush me. See, I’m a fool for pain…” If B were here, we’d both be sick. He’d still be trying to care for me. Didn’t share with V. He’s lucky? “B Steps Closer Virgil”

Friday, June 9, 2023

Saga 343 ~B Steps Closer Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. What can I tell you about pain? Besides bringing Braxton back and wasting time with porn…

PAIN! As I lay here last night in “my” pain, Lady Sophia. Should I even say that? I mean, I know where the pain is from. FUCK YOU, PIZZA HUT! Anyway, it’s my fault, Sophia. Or should I blame whichever book it was from the Succubus Lord series? Eight maybe. Lady Sophia, it was Eric Vall’s description of Buffalo Chicken Pizza. I was escaping my Comfort Zone. And now? Um, well, now, I’ve been in bed for three days, and it wasn’t my choice. I have people all up in my business because I’m sick. I’m tired as all Hell because I don’t want to be awake. So, I’m not downing energy shots. And I see Virgil isn’t helping anything. That’s not fair, but none of this is fair. Only…

Again I was lying here wanting to die from all the abdominal pain, and I started to think about Braxton. I’ve told you that story before, haven’t I? When I think of pain, there’s B. His death is the greatest pain I have ever known. Singing “Nothing Compares 2 U.” Braxton was going blind, but I hope his ears were okay or maybe not… whatever. Becoming even more of a selfish bastard seems to be a goal of my existence. I’m still looking for that billion bucks from somewhere. Philip Pullman is worth millions. Right? Now he knew something about pain with Lyra and Will’s love. How about their Dæmons? I should have read that series again instead of Vampire Academy… Rose and Lissa, naked…

Lady Sophia, I wouldn’t need to take a single step if I wanted to die. My steps were done when I carried Braxton to his death. Virgil to his life? That Buffalo Chicken pizza. Fuck! If anything, I can just lay here and just forget the world like last night. V was in B’s room. I can fucking masturbate to all these titties until I dehydrate. Apologies for the F-bombs. It’s like I told such and such, there is a time and a place… there’s pain, and uh, penis. Um? I should shut up. It hurts too much even to be up and about. Oh! I’m sitting in bed still. Virgil needs outside time. One foot in front of the other. B Steps Closer Virgil

859 Days Without B III, Day 300 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Deals with the devil? A wish from a genie? Getting in bed with the GOP (shudders). The best thing I had going was with B III. I asked him to be good, and I promised I’d be back. Uh, and I ended up being his terminator. The past? Please, B Good Virgil

Sunday, June 4, 2023

Saga 338 ~Please, B Good Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hell! You won’t be this week… a Billionaire, I mean. But, like me, you’ll be wearing hoodies.

You’re the last one who should be talking about wearing anything. Life last week… disgusting. Depressing, Deviant… Is the word DUMB better than STUPID? Whatever. Dog! As in, the dog needs you. Virgil aka Virgil Vivi, aka 2V and not 2B. Ah, that name, ha. First, there’s 2B as in YoRHa No. 2 Type B from Nier: Automata. Rather pornography… Second, as you’ve seen this morning, 2V is not a second Braxton. B resurrected? Never! Did you want to cry today? It’s better out of sadness than the disgust I’ve been feeling again. Didn’t I say something to the tune of, “Guilt before we act is called morality.” Thank 2012’s Liberal Arts. Because what has Virgil done, hmm? What have I done? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not in the slightest. I’m not a good “man.” I’m not a good… anything. And what about you today? You’re nine hours into the new week. And you can already tell you’ve failed two, three, five, and six. You keep looking at such and such, and you’ll fail four. Existence? You don’t want a good existence but a good life, and how do you start that? Don’t look at me! But isn’t that what today is all about? Braxton was/is so much better. There’s bucks. No, there isn’t because you wouldn’t be starving. And there are way too many boobs. Last week it was all about me whispering, “Please be good.” Saying that to whomever. But it wasn’t a good thing: Only Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Please be good. How long have I had the same damn list? Short of the books changing now and again. Is Vampire Academy good? Eff me! Is there goodness? Seeing as how history is being erased. Perhaps Anne Frank’s words will echo forever. “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Braxton, Virgil? They ain’t people, but I believe in their goodness. Okay, I’m iffy, considering Virgil’s. Meditating. You’ll do that every night (sigh). But last night, during the Loving-Kindness lesson. It was all about wishing something good for someone else. There’s also hoping for something good for yourself. But like me… What would you want for yourself and everyone? You’d never… bad words, right? Please, B Good Virgil.

854 Days Without B III, Day 295 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What I “pray” for more than B’s return is a zombie apocalypse. They don’t scare me. Neither do ghosts or succubi. Dude wrote 19 books, and I can’t do one. Even when B was talking to me. Is he talking to V when I leave? B Leaving Ghosts Virgil

Friday, June 2, 2023

Saga 336 ~B Leaving Ghosts Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’ll hire an army of psychiatrists, pet psychics, and paranormal experts. Tell them my stories…

It’s “Times Like These,” when I find it pretty damn impossible to commit any crimes… And when I’m sitting here at the dining room table. While Virgil lies upstairs crying, Sophia. It’s when the only thing I want to do is lie in bed. And before B guards, he cuddles. Is that why I was scooting further and further away this morning? What do the holy rollers say? Save room for the Holy Spirit? I wanted room for my Braxton. Is that why I destroyed his pillow by accident? He didn’t want V to have it… But everything else, hmm? I should stop reading all these ghost stories, supernatural shenanigans. And stuff on spirits. Speaking of which, I should buy some while I’m out today.

Excuse me for making a shopping list. I continue to time travel. And today is still Memorial Day, Monday, May 29, 2023. People mourn soldiers. Oh, and if they could only see what has become of this country. I don’t intend to write something on the state of politics. I’m a black writer, but what have I been reading, Sophia? My usual fanfare, right? You know. Satan’s Sorority Girls, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes… wtf happened to Lucy Gray Baird? And yet again, I’m listening to Succubus Lord 9. A deal with Hell? Been there. AHEM! Where’s that shopping list again? Um, I need light bulbs, sugar, and dog food. Lady Sophia, I don’t plan to make Virgil a ghost soon. I killed Braxton.

I scream that inside my head so often. Why should I be surprised I can’t hear B trying to talk to me? I keep mentioning that Virgil is not his reincarnation. I know that, Sophia. Only as I was saying, I heard Virgil crying today, and between not cuddling either… Monster? I am not a good man, Sophia. And in all the horrors I’ve seen. It’s people that are the worse. Braxton and I were like Scooby and Shaggy. To Virgil, I am the villain. There’s the fact that B’s smell must cover everything even now. V sees dead doggies. Zombies? How about ghosts since Virgil cries buckets when I leave? Is B III haunting? Something good for V? Trade places B Leaving Ghosts Virgil.

852 Days Without B III, Day 293 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 331 ~B A Secret Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m full of secrets, yet didn’t I say something about anonymity last week. I don’t like anybody talking about me, and that includes myself. I’m not someone to trust, yet here I am, being “transparent.” Such GOP ideology. “B A Secret Virgil”

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Saga 331 ~B A Secret Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. While you’ve become “Secret Agent Man.” One of the “Men In Black.” Or the “Snake Eater,” SIGH.

You wish… Yeah! That you could rip your damn dick off for wasting more money. Oh, and speaking of eating, what will that consist of today? Starving yourself on purpose. Been there, done that, but no. May Virgil never have to see that. Braxton did. One of the few times I was a lousy dog… friend, father, fellow, whatever. B had dirty water, and why? Oh, back then, I was too busy trying to… ok, you’re a big boy. So you can hear the words. But seeing as how you don’t need the cops at the door. I was trying to die back then, dammit. And every day, uh, these last few… You wish I had succeeded and why. Besides Braxton and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Secrets! My failing and yours aren’t. Hell! How many times did you wake up this morning only to go back to bed, and why? It’s not like you can keep yourself from the world you know. However, that is the plan if you ever make it. You’re sitting in bed… First, you woke up as punishment to reset the alarms because of your wayward dick. Around 1:00AM, you woke up because you wanted to simp for Cherry. It’s her birthday. At 4:00AM, perfect, you said you’d wake up at 4:30 and then 5:00. And when it was approaching 6:00, you got up. Why? First, there was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Then came The Cherry Collision. Now The Pic Phenomenon. Won’t help Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls by Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this very moment, you’re failing #6 because of how ashamed you are. How asinine your desires are. And how much of an asshole you’re being. Have you been called out on it yet? Not in so many words. Only look at what I’ve done and what you’ll do. Goodness! Not when she turns her back on you. Trust me, the mirror, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” How many friends have I talked to last week? I only need one hand and not even all of the fingers. It Doesn’t Matter… My advice? Don’t go walking around with your dick in your hand. Now that should be a secret. But your heart remains broken in all this. Existence? B A Secret Virgil.

847 Days Without B III, Day 288 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Can you hear me now? Good. Those commercials, hmm? I’m lucky to hear anything besides, “That will be $175.00.” Then my ear would get slammed like an episode of Family Guy. Me and my big mouth and massive bills. “Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…”

Friday, May 26, 2023

Saga 329 ~Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so bills? What bills? All the ones I paid for Braxton? The man? Oh yeah, duck…

Bill. As in, I would never shut up? Unless I was doing something else like this morning. I failed once again. And after such a “productive” moment. At least it didn’t lead to a bill. I swear that morning, Friday, January 29, 2021. I would only be paying for a few more meds. I figured. I already had the story in my head… an upset stomach, hardhead B. “As I was saying, I don’t want to read my Dæmon’s vet bill.” That’s from “Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~.” Is it strange that I’m listening to Succubus Lord 8 yet again? Sophia, I’m also reading another Eric Vall novel, Satan’s Sorority Girls. The things I hear. That is to say, with what I did today.

Besides playing a porno in my head with two English roses, I mean. Hell! I was into those two before Eric Vall started talking about one of his chicks. But ok, Sophia, the good news. So this morning, I was getting all spiffy about to head to the urgent care clinic about my bum ear. -cost, the lack of actual “caring,” and the worse customer service. I know you’re not Yelp. Anyway, besides B III, the story of my existence is FEAR. So I’m rutting about in my ear, and voilà. This big chunk of ear wax comes popping out, and suddenly water. I could hear the water in the sink gushing for the first time in days. It didn’t make me burst into tears.

Hell! Sophia, I’ve said I would take any physical pain over my mental anguish. Haven’t I languished over The Pic Phenomenon from Thursday, May 18, 2023, my Lady? But once that effing thing got out of my ear, it’s like even that disappeared. Standing there, I heard everything I needed to hear. “We gon’ be alright,” Lady Sophia. Now, I wish I could believe that. I saved $175.00. I didn’t hear the words sick, starving, or sleep. As much as I want to “sleep forever.” Trust me, Sophia; I have said much worse. So Braxton would have if Bill had to come back. Or upon seeing the payment to put him to sleep. No price is too high. Virgil lives. Always. Braxton Kills Bill, Virgil…

845 Days Without B III, Day 286 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 324 ~Forget B Nots Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I drank more… or at all. But you can ask Braxton’s Aunt about that. One glass of wine, and I was done. Everything is or was a blur. Seems that way for all addictions. Alcohol, Areolas, and America. But I’ll never forget B. Forget B Nots Virgil

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Saga 324 ~Forget B Nots Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But can you even remember what you want to do with your life? Excuse me, your existence.

Noted. You’re only six hours into it and “trying.” Hell! I had most of the week, and what did I do with it? Do you want the truth? It’d be better if I shut up. Start fresh… Inevitable. It’s like thinking of Braxton. Your dog. You dying. And your effing dong. As the song “Every morning when I wake up…” What? Will you start today differently? You want my advice. No! That’s faster than one of my nephews rejecting to see pictures of Virgil. The things you want to forget. How you STUNK at Granddaddy’s funeral. Trying to be helpful? Or that chocolate cake you left sitting in the fridge forever. Can we not talk about food and the man wasting away? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING All Tied Up by Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You, of course, know what one of those things should be, with how I’ve been effing up number 4 plenty. And for you… it’s like when people watch those killers on TV. Well, I’m no killer. See, that right there! Did you forget the crime you committed the original sin? Braxton is dead! Only yesterday morning when I called out to him. I effing forgot. Medications. B takes one every twelve hours and the other every twenty-four. Three pills a day. And there I was, trying to read the long faded labels remembering such failure. That might explain the other crime I was doing. I’m glad you have Virgil sleeping at the foot of the bed. You see him. As for me. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s all been a blur. And I mean worse than Japanese porn. And no, you don’t have any racist connotations to that. You mean in general. Or should you say genitals? Stop for a second, will you? This week you will do far worse. Morning? Again, you forget what happened to Braxton, right? You’re imagining all the sins that are out there. Last night, I even looked up such a person who effed up to try and remind myself not to do those things ever. Hell! All you have to do is look in the mirror. One more reason to miss B III’s eyes, hmm. He always saw you as better. And Virgil? Wondering why he sleeps like you. In dreams, Forget B Nots Virgil.

840 Days Without B III, Day 281 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will