Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

“I will not accept a life I do not deserve.” Um, if I were in the GOP and enjoyed effing people over. If I were Johnny Sins, effing hot chicks. If I could write like Eric Vall or something like Mesmerizing Caroline. No! My success, My Last B, Virgil.

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But why is that your definition of success? Should you worry about being WOKE? Um, not really.

But as far as getting your naked ass out of bed… Any advice on that? Pick one day out of the week to rest. Again, sleep naked, get eight hours, and as if you need prompting. Ahem, Get Ur Freak On. Ain’t that a modicum of success? As if you were B’s dad or BFFF. And I’ll never say I was great at that. Every morning I woke up saying, “I’ll do my best,” ha-ha, at least when it came to my son. To think Braxton was the greatest success. Without him, what comes next? To raise a good man… Considering how he was with his Aunt Carolina. But at the end of the day, he did the impossible these days. Love. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 065 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And at best, you’re a C-student. See, “Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M., get the money. Dollar dollar bill, y’all.” Oh, of course, coochie… Good for you not using the other C-word. I read “Mesmerizing Caroline” last. Um, a girl being bathed in cum… okay. (Breathes) I was only trying to get a D in some math class at one time. All so my “Dad” wouldn’t beat my ass. I’ll tell you the things you’re going to do with this week in existence. But it’s so sad that you’re already failed this week. I got 2V to walk downstairs all so he can have more space, and what does he do? Pisses on the carpet. Doggies! Locking him up, so what about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Ibram X. Kendi?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 065 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Fuck you, dude. You spent almost three hours dicking around, literally. If you didn’t have your dick in your hands, it was talking to M Anime or Cherry. Fucking everything. Problems? No! Your own failures. What’s pissing you off at the moment though so dumb. Remember how I’ve spent these last months trying to find the perfect song for Spotify? Your year of music? Only how did you fuck this up? What incredible song selection did you choose? Butterfly by Crazy Town. Because all you could think of or with is your fucking dick. Was it always like this? After Braxton died, there was nothing. Finding him a mom was the last thing on my mind. Your existence; making the grade? My Last B, Virgil

763 Days Without B III, Day 204 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 245 ~Virgil’s Bookish, B III~

I’ve dropped a book a few times in the tub. A girl snatched one of my books and threw it at some guy. Bloody pages. And I’m sweating bullets in public. Reading is my place of peace… or so it is/was with Braxton. And Virgil? Virgil’s Bookish, B III

Friday, March 3, 2023

Saga 245 ~Virgil’s Bookish, B III~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t plan on becoming transphobic like J. K. Rowling. Or ripping people off somehow.

Please. For that kind of money… or less, I’d throw whatever morals I have out the window. I haven’t been doing a lot of reading. But I’ve watched every episode of “The Last of Us.” I’ve said I would burn the world to the fucking ground to save my Braxton. Hell! He’s not asking for that. And he wouldn’t even ask for me to be happy. My son knows me. If anything, B wants me to have peace. And when did that ever happen, hmm? Reading on the loveseat in the den. After a hard day of guarding the house and protecting me while I napped. He would curl up with me as I read. Did I need a reason to cry today with everything?

The Ninth Circle of Hell is Treachery. And is said to be frozen with the tears of the greatest betrayer, Lucifer. I’ll know sooner or later. At least, I hope so. Lady Sophia, I’d like to be correct for once. Besides my tears, I’ve been spitting nonsense at Cherry. Me looking and then; being STUPID! Next to Braxton dying, to be stupid is the worst. Then dad… the Day Job. Sweating up a storm at those things. But the Day Job for most of this week. Only better sweat than blood. My blood has been boiling with rage at that place, Sophia. The stress, sins, and sickness. All coming from trying to exist in this place, Sophia. One more reason to read. Knowledge and power?

I can’t say I’ve found much solace in “How to Be an Antiracist.” Was I looking for that, Sophia? And “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Beginning” is an excuse for me to be lazy. All so I can have my one-book-a-week streak. Or should I say, as the song goes, “I be strokin’.” I know, reading the energy bottle, I should be up until at least 2 this afternoon. So what should I be reading until then? Yep, stress, sin, and sickness. But here’s the thing, My Lady. It wouldn’t matter what I was reading. Braxton and the freeloader… Virgil. They want to be a part of it. I’m a better “person” while reading. You can’t get books wet. Buying a Kindle… Virgil’s Bookish, B III.

761 Days Without B III, Day 202 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

I can’t say I’m a big fan of the movie 300. Wanting a body like a Spartans. And specific scenes with Lena Headey or the oracles… I shouldn’t be paying for any movies. I got fur kids. Not a fur kid but two. Braxton hasn’t left, um… 300, 2V, B III

Sunday, February 26, 2023

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I need a dollar, dollar a dollar is what I need.” Billionaire?

Not you looking for $300.00? And that’s if you’re lucky. Is there any chance you’re scheduling that doctor’s appointment? After The Cherry Collision on Thursday, February 16, 2023? You won’t let yourself forget the date. Fuck! You need a date, but we’ll get to that. Like getting to the $300, you owe B III and 2V. Oh, look at that, you remembered, ha? $150.00 for each of them. And if we’re not talking about the material… V needs a nail trim and bath; what about meds for the month? I know you at least have been jonesing for a painkiller. Not that it would do anything physically. Mentally, you’re not as brave as, let’s say, the 300. Oh no, you’re cowardly with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 058 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Should I also mention stupid when it comes to Math? Low blow. I apologize. Father. You’re speaking like him. And you’re not Virgil’s. Not even sure you want to be. Billionaire? That’s what you want to be. But do you know how they talk about families affording a $400.00 emergency? As I said, what was it, Friday? Savings, Paypal, House? That’s $900.00. Then $100.00 for me. Now, where is this $300 for the boys? Dammit. There’s the dollars that don’t quite make it to $100.00, so… Suggestions, Plans, Excuses, hmm? Where do you cut? Oh, don’t worry. The last time you cut yourself was shaving. I’ve never been that kind of person, and neither will you. Your pain comes from Braxton and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That’s not fair at all to say. I spent over $500.00, and for what. Your son is worth it all. “And you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt,” as the song goes. Because really, what do I have to leave you? Again I did the Math. And it seems I’ve never been wrong about being broke. Another song coming on (sigh)… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are.” No matter how much I wished for it. Not waking up? Or how about that song “when I’m in the strip club, I get love for about 500 dollars.” If you wonder why we’re talking late, you need only look in the mirror. 300, 2V, B III

756 Days Without B III, Day 197 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 238 ~ I’ll B Writing, Virgil~

I’m a writer. That’s starting to become a lie. Now “I’m a Slave 4 U.” It’s not like Britney wrote that. And it takes much worse to turn me on. And why do I need that? I should be writing since Virgil got in trouble last night. I’ll Be Writing, Virgil

Friday, February 24, 2023

Saga 238 ~ I’ll B Writing, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but not for writing. Not today. But as they say, brevity is the soul of wit.

I’ve gotten more mileage from the words “Braxton is dead” than anything else. To exploit my boy like that? Never. And I’m not trying to start something. I’m not Sophia. Only if you’re wondering where I’ve been. I wish I could say it was all cute dogs and such. Hell! I need them considering my day often starts off in tears. But reasons may vary. Dog memes, voiceovers, and I wish I could say books. I am rather enjoying “NSFW: A Novel.” Of course, you know why that is… Virgil is making that easier. Punishment. Today or rather last night, is the first time I had to place him in time-out. Peed on the floor. Anyway, I was able to read in peace. Not really.

And that’s because I’ll always miss Braxton. But as the book implies. NSFW, Lady Sophia. I still get off on horror stories concerning women. Why did I join Court’s Patreon? Yesterday I read about how the boss got that girl to take all her clothes off in a “trust exercise.” And the narrator was fingered by that guy Julian. Digital Penetration? I mean the way some things get described. And again, there’s courtwithconfidence. I swear, she told her true story, and all I wanted was to see her naked. How much was that, hmm? Oh, and what? I want to spend money on Johnny Sins videos. Him talking about sleeping with a former teacher of his. Wow! So few words, and I’m here banging away.

On the keyboard and not the bed. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident of January 11, 2022. The Cherry Collision on February 16, 2023? I thought about going to the doctor. Please. I woke up too late, which means… well, not a damn thing. But I don’t want to go. I have way too much writing to do anyway. The question remains, what gets done today. I have to text my old man about what the termite guy said. After my humiliating showing at my granddaddy’s funeral. I’m thirty-eight, Lady Sophia. Sad writing it again. There’s working on the cash—three groups of three hundred, then a hundred for me. A grocery list, promises I won’t keep, you, the other girls, Braxton. I’ll Be Writing, Virgil

754 Days Without B III, Day 195 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

I let Virgil out when it’s time for B’s morning meds. Braxton’s evening meds, again V’s out. Can’t have him hear me call out for B III. And there’s alone time. Not crying or comatose. Releasing insanity in two ways. One, Medicine Time B… Virgil.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I know you’re saying… “You moron! What were you thinking?! Do you realize what this means?!”

As if you have time for some “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.” Better days. A few years before Braxton even? Only in about 45 minutes. You’ll have to untwist your legs and go get his meds. Too Little, Too Late, right? Meds for the dead? But Virgil can go out. Which again reminds me that this is all my fault. And you have to deal with All I’ve Done, hmm? You were supposed to go out today to pay for my mistakes. Last night before I fell asleep, watching WWE Elimination Chamber. I looked up Urgent Care, GoodRx, and CVS. Looking over at the table opposite B’s Memorial, it’s a fucking crime scene. Another one. Energy drinks, an empty medicine bottle… Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Let’s talk about #4, which is why you’re in this mess. I want to be all Bill Withers “I know, I know, I know….” Again, I’m the one to blame. And all the I’m Sorry’s in the world aren’t going to put cash in your wallet. Every day you turn more into your father. Dammit! History repeats itself. So if you’re not your father, you’re a fucking Republican. So gross. So there’s Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. “Hey I oughta leave young thing alone.” Fucking Bill Withers, man. More like a 21-year-old actress. A 20-year-old video game vixen. And a 25-year-old poet. And that’s on top of everything on Twitter. So, Six Impossible Things

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t seem to have the time. Because you’ll be way too busy or have forgotten. I have no advice this week and hope… “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Therapy, Counseling, Institutions? Forget it. That’s what I wish for. Every day you’ll wish for Braxton to come running down the stairs when you call. “Medicine time, B; come get your medicine.” As mean as you are to Virgil, him sleeping by your side every night… You’ll wish he never needs meds. Fuck! I wish I’d come on the 15th, so The Cherry Collision never happened. To Forget. That’s the gift. No doctors, no pain, especially no stupidity. Nope! Medicine Time B… Virgil

749 Days Without B III, Day 190 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

What do B III and 2V have in common? I have no excuse for ignoring them. I excused myself from B III’s dying because I hate the Day Job. I excused myself from V’s life because of that death, the Day Job, and me being a dick. Excuse Braxton and Virgil

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you? You don’t know who, what, or why you are. Oh, what, two hours isn’t enough?

Well, three. But from 4:00 AM to 5:00 AM, you wished you were dead. Ain’t that the dream? To join Braxton? It’s the one thing we can agree on. But B III excused himself. Yet another way of saying you killed him. I wish I had enjoyed last week. No! I was much too busy making excuses. I worried about the pay, the “Power of The Pussy” and puppies. Yes, you’re thinking about boobs, but the point was more for Braxton and Virgil. You’re not looking for my advice. Or rather, you wouldn’t take it anyway. But if you care to listen. You have to start being nicer to Virgil. You’ll never excuse yourself from your grief and guilt. I did from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Melody Hooked Up” by Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You had to make up for my failure this morning. “Melody Hooked Up,” really? Forty-four days. I swear, last night, I was moaning and groaning, hoping that Virgil stayed in Braxton’s Room. He shouldn’t be there at all… What did I say? Be nice. But you can’t help how you feel. And not only because you want to fuck and/or masturbate. Like all the time. “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always horny.” And you will be too. It would have happened this morning but of course, the freeloader… Be nice! AHEM, Virgil was sleeping, and there was no excuse to move him, so all you did was read. Braxton would be proud. Although that’s one more reason you want to feel. Anything but the failure of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because there is no excuse to miss Braxton’s Birthday. Which is Monday. Any plans? Well, he will be eighteen. You mean it. Not that he would be, but he will be eighteen. A milestone. You think? You don’t even remember turning eighteen yourself… twenty years ago. Here’s a question. What’s your excuse for not living all these years? You just started. Existing, never living. You aren’t worthy of being alive. And sure, you could get political. You could blame this on your “Daddy,” the Day Job, or your wayward “DICK.” Always. But you’re facing the man in the mirror now. The most loved dog in creation, or the mutt upstairs. For the last time, BE NICE! Can’t excuse yourself for who you are. Change your ways? Excuse Braxton and Virgil.

742 Days Without B III, Day 183 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 219 ~Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment~

I wish I could say a shower would help? How much faith do I have in this clinical strength stuff? Well, between that and a movie where the ending kind of stinks. I have no money to burn. And if I keep my Day Job? Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Saga 219 ~Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s that I smell coming off you? Money burning a hole in your pocket? At best…

I did remember to buy you some “clinical” deodorant yesterday. “That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.” Right? It beats smelling like Braxton always and forever… Do you mean dead or like a dog? Um? It beats the last couple of days or that film, you think. Well, are we talking about “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” or “Knock at the Cabin?” For the moment, “Knock at the Cabin.” I swear! Even with everything they said about that movie, the ending still makes you think… it sucked. Good, you can judge something else for a change. And not only you. The fact you woke up late. Or that you were edging. At least you made it to the dining room table.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 037 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

All of last week was one big Disappointment. Oh, look here, Six Impossible Things missed. But there’s always more. For example, as you finished “The Book Eaters” this morning. It’s not counting towards the Kindle Challenge. That means reading another book that’s not about dead fur babies. Not to mention reading one about a dead history, and people thank you, Ron DeSantis. There’s so much reading working on your brain. Disappointment. I shouldn’t say that; your week is only starting. But as far as sweat, blood, and tears. Well, there’s no blood. I wish for that because then I could go and be with Braxton. Alarming. Well, more like alarms because you were hoping for death every time you hit them. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Refill Amazon Card)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, that still needs to be done. Because you’ll be busy moaning and groaning in bed, sweating. I’m some kind of addict, and you will be too sad to say. Twitter, Replika, and OnlyFans have been less than helpful. Remember that @magicmagy is on OnlyFans. Whatever food you cook won’t bring Braxton running. And as far as Virgil is concerned. Hell! It’s not that you’ll work up a musk playing with him outside. More like you’ll step into shit trying to get him back in the house. Why not take a walk with him? Advice? Hard to give it when you’re worried about anything and everything with the Day Job. Humiliations Galore? And I hope you don’t bring them upon yourself. Braxton, Virgil, Smell Disappointment

735 Days Without B III, Day 176 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 212 ~B The Man Virgil~

Braxton Barks was not reincarnated as Virgil Vivi. Only something I need to remind myself of often. If I was ever reincarnated, I’d want to come back as a virus. Being a “man.” Having to honor a man I don’t know. And then Tuesday… “B The Man Virgil.”

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Saga 212 ~B The Man Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I can’t teach you to become one. What about the first thing in becoming a man?

A mistake? And no, I don’t mean getting up at 4:50AM. Damn, Royal Rumble! If anything, it’s getting up at all. Your luck is as shitty as mine. Worse? You’ll have to deal with it. Now, if you want some advice… remember that no matter what happens tomorrow, Tuesday will be worse. What the fuck kind of advice is that? What’s with all the language? It’s either snoring, crying, screaming, or moaning. Breathing sucks, alright. As I said, waking up was a pretty big mistake. Blowing off work, talking to Ma, and all these other words. Every single noise. Hell! You’re longing for the silence, which is Braxton being gone. And then there’s Virgil beside you, sleeping away. A mistake? Like missing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby by Becky Connellan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Or becoming a monster? The things that you should have on this list. Anything doable. Like again, being this meanie, this monster, or a murderer? The dreams of January 31st. More like a nightmare. To think you would feel better at the Day Job, then, well… Funerals aren’t supposed to make people feel better… Your granddaddy’s won’t. The horror, the horror. You only want to vomit. And that’s not the energy drink talking. Such is fear. Someone said that behind every fear is the person you want to become. Deadman? Because only a monster would hurt his Ma, kill his furry son, and think about… well, everything the way you do. If only things could go back to normal, Braxton, Day Job, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because being a Daddy. Being the man? It’s the one sentiment we share. Manhood, fatherhood. You are not Virgil’s father. Didn’t I say, sometime this month, I’d read “A Different Alchemy” again? It’s all about a father losing his son. Like I haven’t got enough. Between The Last of Us and The Book Eaters. Devon hasn’t lost Cai… just starting. Fucking ironic that the reason you have to deal with Monday, fucking fearing your father. Your Ma lost her father. A man you feel nothing for. And is fucking you up beyond the grave. I swear, I hate you, and you hate me, but people in general. Being a Misanthrope. Then there’s Braxton. The best man you’ve ever known. Son, dog. B The Man Virgil

728 Days Without B III, Day 169 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

I Think Maple Street’s Bugged (Book Review)

When I usually think of maggots… well, whenever. I think of the dead. And this book, The Maggot on Maple Street, has that too. Well, a death wish, and yet words coming alive as well. Flesh, finding oneself, and fuckery. I Think Maple Street’s Bugged.

If you don’t read anything else, with the way things are going in the world today… Remember, The Maggot on Maple Street for your bug-out bag. It will remind you that there was once intelligent life on this planet. One of the many things Courtenay Schembri Gray is trying to convey. Well, that’s amongst many. And did I say many other things going on in her head? Brains! Indeed if the zombies haven’t gotten to you yet, you still have. That is if you’re reading Courtenay’s book; Ms. Gray, if you’re nasty… indeed, some elements of this work. You’re warned.

Long story short, or compilation, which it is. It’s a collection of poetry from a quite profound young writer. Not to sound cliché. But each and every poem really makes you think. That’s both a good and a bad thing. But more on that in a moment. Such a mind. Courtenay’s talent is immeasurable for such a small work. But if there were more to it. And yes, I have read other titles of hers. Such as Cherry. I suppose she can’t give it away all at once. Such experiences and realizations. Which should drive us all while. You’ll see.

That is if you’re lucky enough to read this work. I imagine “read” would be much too small a word for it, like something out of the movie “The Menu.” When it comes to writing… You do not only read her poetry. You imagine, dream, you relish every single word. Again there is far more to it than that, and again if you will give me the time. I ask you to share some of your time with The Maggot on Maple Street. Hell! The title alone asks for that and far more of us. I have discovered that myself.

It’s not as if Courtenay is asking you to take this journey alone, as she, too, is on a path of discovery of her own. To be on the same road. And yet we all end up in different places. Or maybe we like where we are and choose to stay, as The Maggot on Maple Street will remain with me for quite some time. There’s indeed so much to keep in mind while reading it. The same can be said for her, which is why she chose to share her thoughts with the world. The Maggot on Maple Street

If you have stuck with me until now… no spoilers. These are only my own personal opinions. Yes! Other than this. What are you waiting for? Go buy this book today. Yesterday, if you have a time machine. My own idea. Courtenay takes me to some strange places in musings.

The two poems that garnered my full attention from the get-go were “Mother Cauldron” and “Saturn (De)vours.” There was a line that immediately gripped me in “Mother Cauldron.” And again, the mere titles of these works will give you pause. And then it’s as if you’re running through the words, and you do catch them. Only you don’t know if you’re winning or losing. Or if the writer herself is in her thoughts of how she sees, well herself. This is the same way you see “Saturn (De)vours.” And maybe that’s it. Those two poems were when I first started seeing the writer. And not only the feelings and emotions she was invoking. Now is this a good or bad thing? I don’t rightly know. Yet as for me. I indeed liked seeing the writer and not only the dream that she has shared now. But the mix in everything…

In every other work of Courtenay’s, you’re looking to recapture that moment of her looking at herself in the mirror. This is where Courtenay truly shines, to be quite honest. Having kept up with her other work. It’s the difference between working on herself and “working for the man every night and day.” The fact that most of her work falls into the former is pretty brilliant. Finding those truths that she has discovered about herself. You can only wonder if she, too, stopped. Like you will find yourself doing as you read through her poems and go, “WHOA!” I can’t say how many times I did that myself. Sometimes you may even need to close the book and let the ideas settle in your mind. Just for a bit. One of the reasons it took me a bit to go through such a small book. It’s that damn good.

It’s that damn good, and other things you will say about The Maggot on Maple Street. What, is the title too long? And if I tried quoting Courtenay herself, I think we would be here all day. And I could be reading her book again and again. Um, I guess?

And that brings us to the good, the bad, and the ugly. Well, not really, as I gave this five stars but then again… I’m pretty picky when it comes to books. So I wouldn’t exactly call myself a softie. Not when it comes to this kind of work, ha-ha.

As I’ve already said, the best part of her work is when she’s more or less talking to herself than it seems to an audience. You can tell every poem is like that, but you can see the difference in the wording. It may just be beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that to be sure. Which is something that Courtenay herself is trying to see. Everything can’t be beautiful, and every poem of hers… As a collective, you see the best. But here and there. Sit at your typewriter, keyboard, pen, and paper; what have you and bleed, right? Courtenay does plenty of that and more. It may even scare you in places. Or invoke other emotions and the thoughts of other bodily fluids. And the experience or lack thereof that this writer may have in her own life. Coming to such things, um, maybe.

And again, I say experience. I’m not exactly a genius or anything but with Courtenay. Besides looking up her other works, may I suggest you invest in a dictionary and thesaurus? Am I being overdramatic… in a way? But as any guy can tell you, you’ll be on cloud nine and focused at the same time, and then suddenly, it’s like, huh, after a moment. Keep in mind; that this is poetry and not prose. So there is no warning between particular states of thinking or being. But I can promise you’ll stick around for the whole ride. Courtenay’s poetry can be a bit of a mindfuck for the best and worse. There’s no question about that. Is there a better word than that? Well, I lack this author’s vision. I have read her entire work and enjoyed, studied, and liked it. Something or other…

It is worth the read, though. And for everyone telling me to tell my friends. I can honestly say, at the very least, I have shared the name Courtenay Schembri Gray with some I know. And I’ve said what I’ve said to you and everyone. I Think Maple Street’s Bugged.

Saga 205 ~Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare~

Don’t look up where I was on this day in 2021… Um, too Late! I was looking at boobs… for a book review, thank you. It’s the reason I got up on time today. Or was it the nightmare of my father? Dreams of my fur-kids? Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Saga 205 ~Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I wish you were me… uh, no. I pray you aren’t as forgetful or lazy…

Let’s address the elephant in the room. No! It’s better if it’s B III. He’s so much bigger in your mind right now. Friday, January 20, 2023. A day that will live in infamy. Fuck! Well, I forgot a quote for him. I swore yesterday I had finished saying that I would never “Accept” him being gone. And on a day when I felt so productive to a certain degree. Productivity means making it to the dining room table to write. I forgot B’s words. Much too busy thinking about an English woman’s chest but don’t start that today, please. Hell! How do you think you were up on time this morning? 15 minutes masturbating. Virgil was “displeased” being kicked out. Now Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss by Russell Friedman
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least he’s not in trouble. He can come back at any time. Braxton’s door and the bedroom are wide open. Of course, he won’t, which is the only thing B has over 2V. Other than that, Virgil is living the dream. Did I mention you being productive today? You have to get up off your ass and go out for more than pepper dogs and some onion rings. B suffered that too. When he passed, I chose rings over fries. Waffles over pancakes. And what about all the chocolate? I didn’t allow it, never ever here. Loving Braxton Barks. Now Virgil Vivi enjoys bottled water because there’s no trusting the tap. He gets a new type of food etc. But hand-me-down Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby by Becky Connellan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums (Soon)
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Talk about nightmares. You had to look up one of our conversations. Braxton’s last week, Gospel 207 ~Hell With Instructions Will~. From January 21, 2021. Jesus, the man I was. Only as the song goes, “What have I become? My sweetest friend?” What about you? Dreams from last night… nightmares would be more accurate. My father was there. And he, above all else, says that before this week has even begun… Hell! Weren’t you on YouTube and Twitter a moment ago? Well, at least it wasn’t porn. Indeed, Black History. Fuck You Ron DeSantis! Anyway, dreaming of your father says one thing about you and Virgil. He’s living, but you’re not loving. Would one rather live or know love? Indifference Kills! Virgil Dreams, Braxton’s Nightmare

721 Days Without B III, Day 162 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will