Tag: Anger

Saga 360 ~Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords~

WillLeave a comment

Cut it out! This being afraid crap. If I could write something like Be Not So Fearful. Hell! More like Game Of Thrones… which made tons? With or without cash, I’d be afraid. No blades, no bows, leave your weapons here. “Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords.”

Monday, June 26, 2023

Saga 360 ~Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I can pay people to be eloquent for me. Even with money, I’m afraid, Madam.

I’m sure I’ll be saying that in a brothel someday. But yesterday, I was coming back to the house, and I breathed, “I’m afraid all the time.” That’s the last thing I need, Madam Justice. To sound like Ellie from The Last of Us. I have plenty of knives. But you know I’m not a cutter. Even if that nail fell off my thumb yesterday evening. I’m not for self-mutilation. That’s a step too far. It was only a nail. But hell, Madam! Everything in this existence feels like a step too far or at least in the wrong direction. That’s if I bother getting out from beneath the covers at all. Ask me where I am right now, Madam. It’s part fear, part laziness.

I’m CUTTING time out of this existence sitting here and again; why is that, Madam? Yesterday. The start of this week. When I spell out my six impossible things. Hell! I can relate all those things to cutting. There’s opening a book… And didn’t I say I wasn’t getting any wiser from doing so? I’m as bad as Moms For Liberty and the GOP assholes. I’m tearing myself to pieces. When it comes to looking at my son. Did I forget to mention Braxton… almost? I still have his two books, but what about editing GULP, the poetry book? How I hate editing. And am I afraid of being cut to shreds by critics anytime? Madam, I might as well cut up any cash today.

Which, of course, leads me to my favorite thing… Pretty Piece of Flesh. Pic Phenomenon? Only I don’t need any blade for that. Even with my effed-up thumb, I can still get my pants off. And this existence for me. Besides caring for my little boy. This existence has been all about getting women out of their clothes. With enough money or know-how. People with sharp minds, Madam. I was reading the other day and saw “GPA.” How I cut “mine” to ribbons. I would rather cut my flesh. Again I’m not a cutter. But something? Braxton’s tattoos? Would that make me brave, like holding a sword? M Anime, Braxton’s Aunt, and Cherry. They’re fighting their battles. I’m afraid Madam… Fear Cuts Deeper Than Swords

876 Days Without B III, Day 317 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“1st of The Month… well no. I can read. But no matter how much I read, I’m not getting any smarter. Or more loving. Uh, I forgot Virgil’s name again. And without Braxton. And as I try to avoid boobs. What’s my motivation? B That Motivation Virgil

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Saga 359 ~B That Motivation Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I don’t ask Virgil for anything. Hell! You owe him a bath, clean sheets, new stuff…

For starters? It would help if you focused on getting Virgil Vivi’s name right. (Sigh), only yesterday, I went out for what; twenty minutes? And I came back talking, “Just me, Baby B!” So, um, yeah, that was on me. But you? Once more, you’ve had a morning in tears. They were all for Braxton. And isn’t that what today is about? Hmm. The idea of you waking up with meaning. To live for but a moment. How about with any motivation at all? What is your purpose to exist? Well, other than the hope that you won’t have to. You’re still breathing; here. Damn. Even when you’re up at a decent hour… 6:00 when it should have been 4:00. But it should have been me doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Braxton should be alive. Here you are, 875 days without him. That one thought above all others. Nobody understands. To be his old man, his father, his daddy. Stay Alive. What is this, The Hunger Games? If you didn’t start the day crying over your dead fur baby, it’s hunger. Hell! Not even that. It’s cash. Not on your belly or the boy. Um, boobs? That’s what disgusts me and you. Oh no! Let it be no misunderstanding. You love boobs, tits, fun bags, dirty pillows, jugs, and “Big Uns.” And you usually don’t consider yourself an ass man. There’s been that one brunette with what Andrew Davidson would call a “lemming ass.” If only you would follow knowledge like that. Or Six Impossible Things:

“She had what I’d call a lemming ass – that is, an ass that you would follow right over the edge of the cliff.” ― from Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because despite how many books you read. Twenty-five if you finish out the week. Are you getting any wiser? You wish you could be to the likes of Michael Seebach, better known as Schwarzwald. To see the truth of things, to know. Exist, Live! Today? As you do in your writing? Not this. These conversations are trash. No question. And yet you’ll have many more because you checked your Day Job schedule. You were only making room for more titty pictures. As Trump would say, “Sad.” GOP ideas? You see, the world is going to Hell every day. But you are not motivated to save it. If only you had the life of these reactors, influencers, a billionaire. Or Braxton back. B That Motivation Virgil

875 Days Without B III, Day 316 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 355 ~B That Embarrassing Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t have to go to the Day Job to be embarrassed. I got lucky today. But when I get out of bed and step on a floor, I don’t own. I wonder what lights are on. And no, V, we’re not walking the neighborhood. Big backyard… “B That Embarrassing Virgil”

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Saga 355 ~B That Embarrassing Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why be ashamed? I thought I had to work. Um, visual lady’s cleavage? The time…

Time? It’s been 871 Days since Braxton’s passing. But I’m speaking more of today and getting out of bed. I haven’t yet. … other than to turn off the alarms and get back in it. At the moment, I’m feeling like Frank from The Last of Us —the show’s version, not the game’s. I’m more exhausted than wanting to hang out. Yet it’s what I deserve after what I did to B. Again, B III didn’t embarrass me. Uh? Liking his Aunt Carolina’s boobs. And yet? Hell! Like father, like son. See, I can be horny and… well, not happy. I am appreciative of my existence with Braxton. But how am I honoring that? Look at the time. And what did I say before yesterday’s events? Moaning… while I… TMI!

Well, I’m not going to say her name… out loud. I already did that while I was busy dicking around. I swear some women, Inspector. The Pic Phenomenon strikes again. Effing, keep it in my pants. I’m trying, Inspector, honest. “God gave me everything I want,” indeed. It’s all a BLUR… Well, what I didn’t pay for with bitcoin. And then there’s what I was doing last night. I “discovered this new app that allows for animations of any pic. How far am I going to go? The fact that I have to ask. Or that I’m rushing to finish talking to you, Inspector. How many years has it been (sigh)? Besides Emergence Day. If I could go back in time and stop anything, Inspector.

I would stop myself from watching Ghostwriter (1992). And falling for Tram-Anh Tran “Tina.” As the song goes, “What’s My Age Again?” Or how about the creation of the Internet, in general? What did I type in one of my first search bars? Princess Ayeka… Yeah, Inspector, there was more. Ahem! Princess Ayeka… naked! Nothing I have written has ever been more real. I’m serious. It’s why I’m still working my Day Job, you know. And that’s why I should be embarrassed, ashamed, and, yes, punished. Who says I’m not? It’s called existing. Inspector, what unforgivable sin did Virgil commit to end up with me? What evils people commit! No! I’m the embarrassment. “It’s me. Hi! I’m the problem, it’s me.” B That Embarrassing Virgil

871 Days Without B III, Day 312 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 353 ~I Am Different, Not Less~

WillLeave a comment

I’m different? A joke… I’m dead, I’m deceased, and I’m dead. That last one? Some things we shouldn’t laugh at. Like the GOP laughs at Juneteenth. Or that I’m a black man that loves Necromancy and zombies. I still cry over B. I Am Different, Not Less.

Monday, June 19, 2023

Saga 353 ~I Am Different, Not Less~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Ok. I’m not, but in either case, I shouldn’t be working today out of general principle. FREEDOM!!!

Today is JUNETEENTH! Well, at the moment, it’s Saturday, June 17, 2023. But you know. I have to time travel. With everything going on, but being a selfish prick? Inevitable? Madam, it’s a choice. And that’s something I took away from Braxton. Virgil, too perhaps? For once, it is V I’m thinking about. When I came upon today’s rule. I am different, not less. If that doesn’t encapsulate V being in this existence. He’s not my son, but he’s someone. A life worth saving… Yes, I’ll apply that to fur babies but not SOME people. But with Virgil, I remember Celia Flores from FTWD. S2.E7 Shiva “What you see is my son. Changed yes, but no less my son. My (Braxton).” Where was Virgil… Archie?

Give me some credit Madam; at least I saw if anything… God, I hate when people say these words. It’s just a dog —nevertheless, a life. I can’t call myself a Republican because how do they see POC, the LGBTQIA+ community, women, and I could go on, um, I think. Anyway, I’m the last person who should be talking about women. Considering, as the song goes, “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Um, I struggle to keep women… middle grounded. One day, angels, queens, and goddesses. And then in the next moment… Dirty talk? Please! I wish that’s all there was. Men were made from dirt, according to the Bible. To think that book written by “so many” with other words being less, worthless, banned…

I am a writer, or so I claim myself to be. And the things I write of… different, not less. Madam, am I less because I study “the dead?” Reincarnation, resurrection, and the reconstitution of what might be considered a life? Necromancy? I keep thinking of the song “From Now On” in the movie “Surf Ninjas. You got to dig down deep. If you want to wake the dead from their sleep. That’s how I feel. Like I’m out of “Warm Bodies.” I’ve long since given up Julie, and instead, I’m a corpse trying to dig up my friend, B. Madam, I ain’t alive. And I’m worse than most people. A black man, sadist, father to a dead fur baby… I Am Different, Not Less.

869 Days Without B III, Day 310 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want this Father’s Day? I’m not a dad? I ain’t got a wife. Braxton’s been gone for 868 days. And am I counting 2V? Not like he could get me a new computer. And as far as my Old Man. I’m not looking forward to texting. “Father, I B, V.”

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Saga 352 ~Father, I B, V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But does that beat getting a good night’s sleep? Being a good man. A father. Like Hell!

The highlight of this week so far… well, was just before midnight. So this is all on me, I guess. Literally! I was beating off to pics of a brunette’s ass. It was her flowy white dress getting me going. “Mawage.” Doesn’t that come before everything else? You didn’t say that, did you? Speaking of things you don’t want to say today. Happy Father’s Day! Your son is dead. Are you coming? Not now? In the last twenty-two minutes… You’ve been staring at that brunette’s ass again and looking up Lulu Chu Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? And Mishell Lee from LOAN4K. If you looked up gifts the way you do porn. Your father should get a present considering the son you are. Right? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dogging Slut (BDSM Erotica) Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Again speaking of Impossible Things… Give Braxton his life back. Or make one for Virgil. I swear you have “foot in mouth” disease today. And you need a foot in your ass, to be honest. How many steps did you walk from the bed to the bathroom and back today? You weren’t sick. It was where I set the alarm. I thought it might; I don’t know. DO SOMETHING! Who are you, “John Q?” You’re Will B. Not that it means a damn thing, hmm? You can’t even call yourself a man. And no, that’s not you being all political or some gender mess. Titties! What did Clopin sing, “What makes a monster and what makes a man?” Well, answer. Even when Braxton was here, you had, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Good Grief: On Loving… E.B. Bartels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you know something. I believe I was better. Is that a confession, consolation, or plain confusion about what it means to be? What about what you mean to B? You are his dad. And again, there is always Virgil Vivi. More like 309 days and counting, you believe. Please, not to be all Alanis Morissette but “You, you, you oughta know.” Because that is what a man does. A father, a daddy. And today is your day. Is it not? But to celebrate? Trust me… which is what all politicians say, sigh. You are in no mood. Virgil is here. And Braxton, in spirit. Suppose you aren’t too busy trying to make Virgil him. Do I believe in you? “SIGH.” Father, I B, V

868 Days Without B III, Day 309 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 348 ~A W… B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Today’s saga is brought to you by the letter W. What for Will, writer, WINNER. Or is it B for Braxton, brothers-in-arms, or boobs? And V? Virgil, victory; I’m still a victim of food poisoning. I can’t miss work and watch Sesame Street. A W… B, V

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Saga 348 ~A W… B, V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I was hoping you could remind me to buy a piece of Sesame Street. You know all the letters. Maybe…

You know, since I’m talking to you right now, Inspector. The last thing I’m doing is sitting on my behind today, Wednesday. And can I not think about Jenna Ortega right now? Or, Isabela Merced, M Anime. Inspector, I cannot forget Ariela Dirty Latina Maids.

Weakness. I am weak, Inspector. And don’t worry; there will be plenty of time for women and sex. But what about my boy? Braxton, not Virgil. One more day wondering will I be in tears or not over him. But then there’s Virgil. How long did it take Braxton to win me over? Hell! I would say it was love at first sight. Is that true or not? Thinking Inspector. That only means I’m getting over Pizza Hut’s food poisoning.

Women. And no, I’m not blaming one. The Hell if I know who made that pizza from the bowels of Hell. But do I feel like a winner right now? Today or Wednesday? Not really. The thing is this. The moment I start feeling better, do I do anything useful? Well, I am talking to you for the next hour. So what did I do from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM? Um, so, you see… As the song goes, “It was love at first sight” Thanks, Kylie Minogue… Leana Lovings. Inspector, in all fairness, I knew about boobs before my son. And instead of his memorial album, I’ve been working on a gallery of boobs. With what it took to get those… But my son.

Writing about my son. Inspector, every day like this one. When you know each and every second, I hate existing. There’s also exposure. I’ll continue singing “The Banality of Evil.” But I could be chalking up wins elsewhere. Or tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow is when the w’s will start piling up. And here’s a song “Here I stand, and here I stay.” To write like that? Inspector, if I could write anything that might be remembered somehow, someway. I keep talking to you and the girls, though. Won’t forget Braxton or the Man in the Mirror. Only I need to do something to help Virgil. For the love of everything, to do anything to save myself. Someday a writer, a winner. Helpless. A W… B, V

864 Days Without B III, Day 305 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 346 ~Travel Far Enough, Meet Yourself~

WillLeave a comment

Even if I’m getting somewhere… Doubtful. It’s a circle. And what does that mean for poor Virgil? I can see myself in the mirror a hundred times and never like who I am. Am I sick, a sinner, or STUPID. “Travel Far Enough, Meet Yourself”

Monday, June 12, 2023

Saga 346 ~Travel Far Enough, Meet Yourself~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And considering the selfishness, sin, and downright stupidity… I still can’t wait to meet me one day.

Because at the moment, that looks like that will be in Heaven. Or wherever B III has gone off to. As the song goes, “Because it’s not quite paradise. But it sure feels like home.” That was me and B. I’m starting to think he communicates through music every morning. What is he trying to tell me now? Can I even hear at all? Being honest. My bum ear, hmm. I should have paid more attention to those books on animal communication. And the afterlife. Only first, it was my grief. Then somewhere in the middle, there was the afterlife. And for better or worse. There is the possibility of Braxton’s resurrection. But his ashes? These days I am even more tempted to join him.

Only he wouldn’t want that. Right? If anything, I hope he’s fighting with me. Surviving. My boy lent me his strength when he lay dying. Madam, I want to. Tomorrow? Madam, I would have chosen yesterday, the day before. Hell! A week from now. Braxton? “Brotherhood, strength, and fortitude…in the face of the angry night.” That’s from the game “Resistance: Fall of Man.” So how’d I know that line from a game I never owned? And after last night, when all I wanted was to sleep. And I stayed awake through Balance’s Deep Sleep meditation. Uh, trust the science. Am I becoming a MAGA moron? “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain….” You see, I want money…

Lots and lots of money. But I swear if I knew, I’d become some Republican stooge, or I would make someone feel the fear my father instilled in me. Or I would know such hate. Well, “If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” You have The Gargoyle to thank for that one. Yet another reason I miss Braxton so damn much, Madam. Is that what I meant when I said Virgil wasn’t helping? To have that feeling again. Being the man, the dad that I once was. Yet he was jumping around like crazy. Not in pain. Feared the storm. And here I was, ignoring him, insipid and indifferent. Why’d Braxton die again? “Will It Go Round in Circles?” Travel Far Enough, Meet Yourself

862 Days Without B III, Day 303 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t had any medical coverage since I was 26. My Ma always told me I didn’t make it a habit of getting sick. Cut to Braxton’s passing, wearing my earphones too often, and Pizza Hut food poisoning. And what about addictions? To B Recovered Virgil

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Saga 345 ~To B Recovered Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even with that, you can’t stop death. But you can damn well try. But you… sigh.

Besides telling you, yet again, that you woke up to a world without B in it. Ain’t that a bitch. Hell! Some wounds are never going to heal. So what did you expect right now? Today is always for lists, and here you are five days in. I should have cursed out Pizza Hut, to be honest. Not that you can blame them over the bum ear. I swear, punishment. Wednesday, I was an effing fire hydrant… Eww! Uh, that was way too much information. Thursday, I was weak, and it felt like bombs were going in my stomach. Retribution? Friday, I was only being punched in the stomach. But I endured and survived. Whatever. And Saturday was a breathable pain, but I got chills.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Vampire Academy” 1 by Richelle Mead
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I can’t focus on anything but the pain. It seems like. The same as you. God, how I miss B. Because your pain wouldn’t matter when it came to his, do you remember that? Hmm? Or how about the other little one who now rests at the foot of the bed? I don’t mean the little head. Today is not the day for this. You feel pretty effing horrible. Let’s be clear, though. We’re talking about Virgil, who I barely saw yesterday. Do you think that he knows? Is that why he seems to be reverting to his earlier days? When being Dad again? No! Even now, he’s not your son. But what is he? Not Braxton resurrected. Was he rescued? Is he recovering too?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Kindle Challenge) etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I forgot Six Impossible Things but what about you? You don’t have much hope for yourself. Ok so this very second 7:37:27, 28, 29… This right here, right now, is your effing existence. Congratulations! It’s as good as it gets. You are sitting in bed breathing. Bouncing? I effed that up. Between Jill Kassidy saying, “I want you to fuck me.” And my favorite English girl’s melons. What am I, a DJ of pornography? Pathetic, perverted… Only all you want is not to be redeemed but recovered from everything. Good Luck! Braxton isn’t coming back. And Virgil? He needs to go outside. Are you getting up? Remains to be seen. Between puking, painkillers, and porn? None of that brings you back. To B Recovered Virgil

861 Days Without B III, Day 302 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 341 ~V Making The B-List~

WillLeave a comment

Santa’s list… way too early. The Lamb’s Book of Life? And the government. I’m sure I’ve made it on one out of the three. I can list the bad things others have done but myself. Hell, one word, Braxton. So I’m going to… But V? V Making The B-List.

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Saga 341 ~V Making The B-List~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that must mean I only like counting money. Or should I say something pretty racist?

I want to say I’m not as bad as Cruz, DeSantis, Donald, the GOP, or MAGA. Hell! Who can keep up with all their crimes? As I time travel, I’m having trouble with my own. Inspector, not a day goes by. I don’t have something to love Braxton for. Even if it’s the fact that killing him is the only crime that matters to me. Hell! Today is Sunday, June 4, 2023. So who knows where I’ll be, come the day you read this. I get scared a bit. Only it was more for Braxton’s sake when he was alive. Who’d love Braxton, Inspector? Shouldn’t I be asking who’ll love Virgil? Do I? Inspector, he’s here… it ain’t enough. That’s one more worry today (sigh).

I would talk all the time before about what I would do to protect Braxton. If it ever was between him and the world… As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” And I am not a god. My “begotten” son, my Pancake, would be safe. I would watch the world burn for him. Hell! I would burn the world down if it meant Braxton’s life, Inspector. Again I’m not that cruel? Do you remember “Aunt Lee-Lee?” Her husband “Uncle Anthony” murdered her on Saturday, June 1, 2002. Wow! Talk about hearing things from the grave, Echo. She never knew my son. But he set her straight, I suppose. I want to destroy the world, she said. Not on my to-do list

This brings us to today and the things I should be doing. Six Impossible Things? Inspector, I’ve already spoken to the “Man in the Mirror.” Four of those things… failures. And it’s only Sunday. If I were to do anything good? Become Virgil’s Daddy, Inspector? Oh no! I got Bitcoin, and why? Don’t I want to see my sin, “All These Things That I’ve Done?” I want to stay in bed and whine about everything I’m not doing, Inspector. Didn’t I set myself up at the dining room table this morning? Looking into the empty fridge and making a shopping list is not my cup of tea. Remind me to grab cappuccino mix. Listing groceries, ways to hurt, and being happy. V Making The B-List

857 Days Without B III, Day 298 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 339 ~Fire Burns Brighter In Darkness~

WillLeave a comment

“When you’re lost in the darkness, look for the light.” That was B stepping on my head most mornings. It was when dark words were lit up by my fingers… how I wish. Burning money like there’s no tomorrow… The light now? Fire Burns Brighter In Darkness

Monday, June 5, 2023

Saga 339 ~Fire Burns Brighter In Darkness~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. So am I loved, or do I love more? Am I livid? Indeed, I’m more lustful… dammit!

I do hope that I’ll be a husband someday. A daddy… of two-legged kids. But as I’ve been thinking for the longest time now. I ain’t looking for it. Hell! If only Braxton were here. How I would sing “Teen Idle” to him… “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Talk about the darkness. But as long as he was here… then not being here. For all my grief, my tears. Nothing has snuffed him out yet. That’s the power of love. Fire, flames, fiery, forever. Madam, I don’t know if it’s good or bad. The way I obsess over him at 855 days. What I do know is this. I wish I had someone love me the way I love. Pushing Virgil Vivi away sometimes…

But I’m not livid at him. Let me be clear. Virgil has done nothing wrong. But this is Hell, Madam. I wake up in Hell every single solitary sinful day. Is this how Republicans feel? When I open my eyes, I’m immediately mad at a black person (me). The environment’s a mess. V does whatever is his nature, but do I care? And I hate everyone that’s not me; how I miss my son (sigh). You don’t know how easy it is to let the darkness overwhelm, consume, and devour me. While at Jack’s a few days ago, my foot slipped off the brakes, Madam. The car started to roll, and the cashier “got smart” with me. The rest of the day, I raged, Madam.

But is lust any better? What have I been doing every night? There is all the work I should be doing. And if one could earn a degree in porn… Hell! I’d be Doctor Longstroke. Pornography is my sin of choice. People drink to warm up, as it were. There’s violence, Madam. Being an American, I know what that means… Guns, guns, GUNS! But me. Madam, I prefer warm bodies. No! Hot as Hell! Burning desires, my pornographic passions. And once they have been sated? The cold, like this morning. What tits got me off? Now this mind is blank and dark. And what will light my way, Madam? FEAR! Light up, my dark soul. My boy, hope, but sin… Fire Burns Brighter In Darkness

855 Days Without B III, Day 296 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will