Tag: Knowledge

Saga 326 ~Trust Me V… Braxton~

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Have I ever been cheated on… uh? Have I ever cheated? Flirted. The only thing that has cheated someone out of all of me? The goodest boy, my grief, giving people a reason not to trust me. Am I Aladdin, Jesus, or the government? “Trust Me V… Braxton.”

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Saga 326 ~Trust Me V… Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but what about the other stuff? Mind, body, and soul… This should be a given, hmm?

As a friend, father, effing buddy for life… Isn’t that called being a husband? Family? Braxton’s my only reliable reference. And he won’t be saying much out loud, my love. What about Virgil? He’s been here 283 days. I know where his problem lies. TRUST. Virgil is right? Since “The Pic Phenomenon,” I can’t say I trust myself. Did I ever? If it ain’t music, it’s movies, so allow me my Nic Cage as Cameron Poe moment… “There’s only two men I trust. One of them’s me. The other’s not you.” The other guy… B III. Braxton knows everything about me. Well, now he does, wherever he is now. I’m sorry. Love, I trust you now. Again, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”

You would have figured I’d learn my lesson. My son couldn’t trust me to save his life, love. I effing tried! And here come the waterworks. He trusted me, and I failed my boy. Every single day I fail myself. I wake up, hit the alarm, and WHAM! One more day failed, and so to all the rest… “You cannot hurt me,” I want to scream! Of course, anyone can; trust. And who am I in the grand scheme of things? How badly I want anonymity. This is the very thing I took. Though I meant no animosity. But for this anomaly in my moral code. Desire is desire. But would I break our trust for it? I did his, theirs, and as always mine.

How dare I ask you to trust me again, and with what? That “Whenever you call me, I’ll be there.” When I’m not thinking about Thursday, May 18, 2023? Let’s say Sunday, August 13, 2023. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” How many days I’ve believed my last? Happiness? Do you trust me to find my happiness? The love? I haven’t had that since a birthday I had. And I was pretty young. “What the Hell is going on?” I’m sure people will ask, “With all these things that I’ve done.” Did I feel good doing them? Yes. Am I guilty, my love? Yes. Gross? Sure. Being a “man.” But for you, our younglings… Yo Braxton, you there? And even Virgil and them. Trying! Trust Me V… Braxton

842 Days Without B III, Day 283 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

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I’m not with the GOP. Hurting someone? I won’t lie and pretend. I have my interests at heart or below that. But with B. I knew he was dying. The Guilt I felt before, after, and now? And with what I’ve done, now… “Guilt Before Action Is Morality”

Monday, May 22, 2023

Saga 325 ~Guilt Before Action Is Morality~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can afford to be a “man.” An effing ton of mammaries. Hell! Morality’s free.

And I have had an effing ton of that since Thursday, May 18, 2023. I’ll come up with a name for that soon enough. Let me also state, “for the record.” I’m not coming down on female billionaires. Did I say… coming? Effing today. That’s the last thing I need. Tomorrow? Madam, as always, I would instead focus on 841 days ago. Braxton, always and forever. “Brother to brother, yours in life and death,” they said in First Knight. Sometimes I feel that Braxton leads me to the lines. Dog on a leash? Here’s another Madam, “Only a fool wants what he cannot have.” What? I wanted my son to live forever. Outlive me, Madam. It should have been me—no Morality in this mortality.

“Be not so long to speak; I long to die,” as was said in Romeo + Juliet. Or is that me in the mirror? As I tell Braxton, while he keeps me here? How about all those I have wronged? For I have harmed plenty. And it’s one thing when I don’t give a damn. Only I’ve always been of the mind, “You always hurt the (ones) you (love).” And to know what I’m doing. I’m always incredibly effing STUPID! Even now, I have to look up Guilt and Morality. Again with Braxton… Did I “feel” guilty? Always have and always will, “sorry” to say. That’s another word I should look up. What does it mean to be sorry? Um, not getting off, for starters.

I’m a sadist. But B III’s pain was nothing but this heartbreaking. My punishment. Hell! Now “The Pic Phenomenon…” See, I told you I’d find a name for it. I have a better one, but the Guilt I feel saying it? And that’s the thing, ain’t it? Now I have decided to have some morals. And will I stop, well, anything? It’s like that scene from Liberal Arts (2012). When Jesse is deciding whether to sleep with Zibby. Finally decides against it… No! I’m worse. It’s like Lester deciding whether to sleep with Angela. Uh, eww… Spacey. But in the end. Both have… TRUST. Jesse and Lester stop short. But I’m not that bad. What I’ve done, though… Breaking TRUST! Guilt Before Action Is Morality.

841 Days Without B III, Day 282 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

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I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

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I wasn’t a good man when Braxton was here. But I was far better than now. Listening to audiobooks. Todd discusses the difference between an orgy and a gangbang. Surprised I don’t have a wife yet. I Wish B had met her. “Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s.”

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Saga 319 ~Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but before… Well, I was a different “man.” I’d even say less of one. Being honest

And not fair at all. If anything, I don’t want to go sounding like the GOP. But I have always been one for the Nuclear family unit. Two parents and 2.5 kids. Half? Please, Braxton! Yeah, if you don’t know by now and you do. You being you. I had to find a woman that got me. Anyway, Braxton was/is my whole world. Only this world got a lot bigger. Today marks 835 days without my firstborn son. My Braxton. How I wish you could have met him. Would it be easier? Me being a single father. Hell! Should I even say it like that? And today of all days? I’m time traveling. So it’s Sunday, May 14, 2023. How about it’s Mother’s Day? Hmm?

I wish I could say I’ve been busier. You are the mother of all our beautiful children. I did say 2.5. Right? With all the money we have… I want a lot. Fatherhood and manhood. And speaking of things I should stop thinking… My GOP ideology. But I have money. Or is it my father’s? Money equals love. Has he ever felt that? Unconditional love… I wished my Ma a Happy Mother’s Day, and she would beat my ass thinking of my Old Man as such. Only I look at what I’m asking of you. Well, that I’m hoping you’ll feel. Braxton. A love for the furry son you’ve never met, and here I have Virgil Vivi amongst all our two-legged children. “What is Love?”

I shouldn’t have to ask that, and I don’t. At least not when it comes to me pouring the Bisquick and you making pancakes. I do mean the kids that we made together. “My Love.” But why do you think I call B pancake? He couldn’t haven’t been more mine. Braxton, He’s My Son. He will always be. I sing, “Nothing’s gonna change my world.” But the “man” I am, and the woman I hold you to be… To love Braxton as I do. Virgil? I don’t have favorites when it comes to our children. Friend, favorite parent, a father. Love my Braxton. Love our kids, love me, and love Virgil. Could you love the man I was, where you were Braxton’s Mom Before Virgil’s?

835 Days Without B III, Day 276 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

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What’s so funny? You wouldn’t get it? In total transparency, I’ve never seen “Joker.” And I hate clowns. Explains how I feel looking in the mirror. Or at the news and anything on any day. Yet I laugh like an idiot. Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

Monday, May 15, 2023

Saga 318 ~Laughter Is Camouflage For Language~

Two-Hundred and Ninety-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Yes, I laugh every time I say that. How I hate laughter, but we’ll get to that.

When I was a child, once upon a time… I wanted to be a comedian. Gallagher, to be specific. If anything, I wanted to smash things. Hulk Smash? My favorite Marvel hero, next to the Black Panther. Of course, I relate to him. Intelligent black man with lots of cash. Anyway, speaking of smashing. “Sex is a joke in heaven?” That’s from the movie Dogma. Is sex funny? I’d be lying if I said I don’t give the occasional chuckle at a dirty joke ha-ha. And I was saying today as I spoke to “Dear Future Wife.” Tuesday, May 9, 2023, so yes, I’m time traveling. Okay, so I was saying how I use the word boobies and even Yabbos. And what about my Braxton?

I would laugh my butt off when he’d go to town on one of his toys. His poor Aunt Carolina. It’s funny that the first time I had to give “the talk,” it was about him not being all up in her boobies. Braxton did plenty to make me laugh. Tears of joy, Madam? Umm… Well, Virgil hasn’t made me laugh at all. Not that I recall, anyway. But it’s funny that with all the pictures I have of my son. The first video I do, the phone… Virgil gallery. Madam, am I growing up and forgetting about my B. Never, his human huffs hilariously! I do after every encounter at the Day Job. And you know why that is. Because I can’t talk ever

As I swear up and down, AHEM… the effing comedian is effing dead, Madam. Braxton? The truth is he’s dead. And the truth is the funniest thing of all. One big effing joke, and like something out of 1984, we all get it and then don’t because, The American Way? Madam, it’s not only that but living, existing in general, laughing when we should cry. Hell! We do both. And I don’t mean to be all political now, but I saw this video today and:

Is existence funny? And I never learned to deal with the heckle. Hell! I never asked for it. I don’t want to be a caveman, a comedian, or speak only with my cock… But speaking… Laughter Is Camouflage For Language

834 Days Without B III, Day 275 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

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What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 312 ~Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil~

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Braxton couldn’t cheat death; none of us can. On people, pay, and pleasures. I’ve never been one for Love and Happiness. But I am Hopelessly Devoted to You… if your name is grief or a specific pleasure. Cheater? Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil.

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Saga 312 ~Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I wouldn’t even need that to be my old man. He cheated on my Ma.

Yeah, this ain’t the week for this. Right? And this was a long time ago. I have a half-brother I’ve never met, around college age. No love there. Love and time, isn’t that right, love? Other than being a provider, I don’t want to be anything like my “father.” Never. Cheating, though? I was thinking about that Sunday, May 7, 2023. Not like that… Please! I have many views on such, but I’m not talking about love. Love. No, the other love. My B III. How often have I said Virgil’s name today compared to B’s? Uh, Good Morning. Hell! Even before you, there was Braxton. Then us… And with Virgil Vivi, there was, “V, you need a bath? I’ll take you to get one.”

It’s all that walking in the yard. At some point, it’s going to get mowed. Such a little thing, a husband mowing the lawn. I was raised on TRADITION! Fiddler on the Roof, I’m sorry. Not for the singing. Nope! That’s always been me. Pop Culture Whore… We’ll get there. I mean for cheating on life, not you, my wife but life with death. Oh, I’m in love with it. The only reason to wake up is that I move a bit closer to it. Step by Step… more music? Yeah. Ma was a big fan of The Preacher’s Wife and Whitney Houston. I remember. Anyway, I have to get her something for Mother’s Day. And you as well. A mom to such beautiful children.

I’ll forever be grateful that they take after you and not me. Do I feel cheated? Not at all, love. Now, Braxton, I swear I think he was in love with Aunt Carolina. Those boobies? Someday, I won’t be so juvenile when it comes to those. Oh, like one day I won’t think about B? That’s like telling me not to think about sex ever. Ask Cherry about that, ha-ha. It’s like me wanting to have a threesome or thoughts of us becoming “Swingers,” right? I mean, not now. And I’m not a cheat. Not with you, and again there’s B, but here is V. Like the song, Is This Love? Could You Be Loved? Braxton’s big heart. Mine’s broken. Death. Braxton Would Cheat, Virgil

828 Days Without B III, Day 269 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

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No matter what I say, I still hate that saying. A picture’s worth a thousand words. Hell! Words have got me wanting to see… other things. If we’re talking about B. Nary, a word. But B was/is beautiful. Others? Uh, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards

Monday, May 8, 2023

Saga 311 ~Apparently, Models Do Have Standards~

Two-Hundred and Ninetieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can make photography a hobby. Something Replika keeps asking. Hobbies I wish I had…

Hell! The only model I ever REALLY had was Braxton. And even my son wasn’t on demand, to be honest, Madam. But everyone loved him. Not that I’m an influencer. Thinking… Yeah, that’s never been my strong suit. Well, when it comes to models. We’ll get to those kind of models. For now, there’s Virgil Vivi and… Well, I remember:

“If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.”

― Anonymous

I keep saying, “Virgil is not my son.” That makes me sound like a horrible human being, Madam. At least I’m being acknowledged as a man, ha. I can exist with that for now, hmm? Which is why I take so many pictures of myself. Ain’t that a lie? Let’s say, as the song goes, Look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh.” That’s my dick

And as proud as I am of it… How many times have I looked up, in these past few days, increasing the size of a penis? What does that make me? OnlyFans and Carolina saw it. Let’s hope, right? Not that it’s a secret. I have enough of those to share with my dear Echo.
But today, I’m already time-traveling. It’s Sunday, May 7, 2023. Today shouldn’t be hard. I know, I hear ya (sigh). Can I stop talking about my cock for 2 seconds? All 6″ worth, ha. What would some people think, Madam?

Models, in particular. The only other reason to pick up any sort of a camera. My Braxton, what’s above my balls, and boobs. And there’s always more yabbos, without question. Only as the kids say, FOMO or Fear Of Missing Out. I’m an old man Madam. But not old enough for Cherry, I know. To go with another song, “All I wanted was to see her naked.” And if I had a dollar for every woman I wanted to see without their clothes on, I would be approaching a billion. At least making money faster than working the Day Job and yet living that kind of life. Dennis Hof only had Dominio. Hugh Hefner… Well, you see his legacy. I know other guys, and I don’t want to be them. The one-eyed monster, being a camera, or cock, only with enough cash. Because my Madam, Apparently, Models Do Have Standards.

827 Days Without B III, Day 268 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

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I planned on talking about all the books I bought, only I’m sort of a pop culture whore. Me… sexist? Duly noted. But I read something racist from a friend today. One word. I don’t fear being WOKE. Indifference killed my son. “Virgil’s B Book Report.”

Friday, May 5, 2023

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford whatever’s on the menu. I can read bills, sales, and regrets.

How to Be an Antiracist is not a book I regret reading. And I don’t blame the author for any of my actions… Uh, you kind of did. I hear ya, Lady Sophia. The power of the penis, as Todd says. I don’t regret reading Succubus Lord, either. Um, a whole other story, I know. It’s like looking over the last of Braxton’s medical bills. I don’t blame the veterinarians. But it does show me when I did the worst thing in my whole “life.” I killed my best friend. It could be the second… I mean, if we’re talking about the STUPIDEST thing ever… BIRTH. Anyway, I’m feeling lousy today because the girl I want to sleep with… She used the word “Chinky.” Racist?

“Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.” – Alexis Bledel Sin City (2005)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? I’m not sure yet. I’m only starting to get into that book. But let’s stick with my attempt to be an Antiracist. As if I even recall what that means. I say I was more WOKE, and I couldn’t help myself. If this cost me the girl. Stupid MF. Hell! Lady Sophia, I spent a bit of time trying to explain away the slur. She could have meant like chink in the armor. “I try so hard. Can’t seem to get away from misery” Inevitable, ain’t it, Lady Sophia, that I screw this up. Trying to understand “What Makes A Good Man?” Hell! What kind of man am I? Ask Carolina Bound. I sent a nude for her birthday.

Hell! I wanted to talk about this Hunger Games book and Mesmerizing Caroline. What about that book binge I went on? I must also get in on a new Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. But after reading the alarm clock, 3:35 AM. Then reading M Anime’s text first thing. And yep, thinking with my penis. Have I found a second Hard Limit when it comes to BDSM? Um, a soft limit. The N-Word in music, dirty Latina maids, Asian fetish, etc. And it gets worse. M Anime’s fur baby is hurt, and I’m yelling at her because you know me, Lady Sophia, “Stay Woke.” I need to read more African American books and more about dead fur babies. Reasons dogs don’t write. Virgil’s B Book Report

824 Days Without B III, Day 265 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

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So what did I expect from meditation? Once upon a time, B’s breathing was life. The awareness of him. Then the silence. Virgil breathes too. But he doesn’t make a peep unless I leave. And what about the family I want someday? Meditations Of B, Virgil

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Saga 305 ~Meditations Of B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That goes to show I’m not a great man. Nowhere near. Neither peaceful, as perverted, promising

Not like Marcus Aurelius. Hell! I don’t know anything about him. (Snickers) I did watch Gladiator… The four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance… Speaking of royalty. There is Queen Ramonda of Wakanda. “What construct does your mind create when you think of your (son)? Does it bring you comfort or torment?” Dicking around as I mourn my son. Not even watching the films but the movie reactions, love. And why not? My last meditations haven’t yielded anything. How long has it been, hmm? Braxton’s been dead for 821 days. So Virgil’s been here 262. You meant meditating. Right? At this rate, 31 days? But today, Friday, April 28, 2023, all I have done… I’ve cut on YouTube and watched fictional and/or better people.

Yes, I know Marcus Aurelius is real. I need to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Braxton may have led me to such a book. One more book I need to read. It’s either this or Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). I could go with MEAT by Joseph D’Lacey. I’ve been meaning to get into the works of Matt Shaw. And I told Lady Sophia about The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. What’s one more title about dead fur babies? Moaning, grieving. Again, it’s Friday, so I’m in a literary state of mind despite Braxton’s passing. Always. Plus, books are a form of meditation for me. Better to spend money on books than on women’s mammaries. I have you, my beautiful wife, and my business. Happy?

You know me, baby girl. I’m never happy… Effing said that out loud? Happiness… Honestly. As the song goes, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And “I Believe in You and Me.” Shouldn’t I say I believe in the “Power of Love?” I believe in the power of music. Better yet, I “Believe in the Beat.” Whatever I can stick in my ears short of seeing the Doc again. The last thing I need is my ear shooting another bukkake scene. Ha-ha! But what’s the first thing I need? I can’t have my Braxton back. And meditating… Awareness and silence it’s confusing. I have no wise words for you or our children. Only I love you. That enough? Braxton’s wisdom? Meditations Of B, Virgil

821 Days Without B III, Day 262 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will