Tag: Son

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could tell everyone at the Day Job. When B barked, cried, and even the click clacks of his nails on the floor. He was helping me out. People make noise to make noise. Then there’s Virgil, who doesn’t make a sound. “I’ll B Listening, Virgil.”

Sunday, May 7, 2023

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. I need you to hear me on this. Alas, I don’t have boobs. You don’t have balls.

Like father, like son. But V is not your son. Now, B III? Are you listening to him at all? God! You hope not. Considering; the first thing you heard this morning was Zero 7’s song, “Destiny.” And Rock-A-Bye by Black Buddafly. One of these things is not like the others. Destiny, though… any song that mentions porn gets your vote immediately. No wonder B hasn’t been around besides being dead and all. I mentioned effing up on the 30th. It could be worse. I’ve often said I’m a Pop Culture Whore. As you will be. Unless it comes to The Coronation of Charles III and Camilla. The Kentucky Derby, and even WWE Backlash. There’s been so much noise this week; with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 128 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing to do them once again. When was the last time you heard the sound of success and victory? When was the last time somebody called you a winner? You need time. Hell! You were up on time this morning, and what did you do? Don’t be like me. That’s my advice. And there’s another F-Word you should try to avoid. You won’t put it into the universe, but it involves the Day Job. This week won’t be so bad… But you need to write. Fuck! Yeah. I’ve been trying to avoid that word. And you should too. But you’re a big boy, according to Carolina Bound. As the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis,” ha. Bigger than, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Mesmerizing Caroline series?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because speaking of fucking, that’s one of the things you’re most concerned with, isn’t it. Always. Friend, when the girl you wanted to fuck, doesn’t want to fuck you anymore… As the song goes, “That’s how you know you fucked up.” Accept my apology. Never? Hell! You won’t find out this week, given her track record. But I am sorry I screwed this up for you. Racism is more noise you don’t need. So instead, you’ll be listening to what? I count four songs so far. And what were you beating off to this morning before you went back to sleep? Azura Skye and Alyson Hannigan from Buffy, Conversations With Dead People. That’s how I feel talking to you. But Braxton? I’ll B Listening, Virgil.

826 Days Without B III, Day 267 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I never wanted to be a president or king. There was a time I wanted to be Dennis Hof, minus the GOP. But as Malcolm X put it, “I have to stand here today as what I was when I was born: a black man. Trite, considering. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be guilty as sin but with enough paper… meaning green, not white.

I could use both; to be honest, I could use both. Seeing as how I haven’t been feeling well this week. I need to see a doctor. But considering the last few attempts. I get what I effing deserve! Lunalesca, who am I, the Joker? I’ve said it a few times. The comedian is dead. And yet my entire existence… So I won’t hold my breath on Trump ever facing punishment. And King Charles III Coronation is going on today. They say, heavy the head that wears the crown. Hell! Unlike Trump, I have a conscience. And the crowns I have been seeing, uh? Better not to say. But my head hurts, amongst other things? Braxton is dead. I yelled at a friend. The Day Job sucks. So, I’m guilty.

What did I do wrong? Lunalesca, I could name any number of things. Waking up. Honestly, one of the Revenge of the Nerds movies says it better… you were born. That’s enough. I’m sorry I’m so down this morning. If only I got up late again today. But my punishment or mistake? I don’t even know (sigh). The fact is I want to sleep, Lunalesca. But there is my charge. Virgil Vivi Bradford. He’s been getting worse… more scared, Lu. Like father, like son? But he’s not my son. Lunalesca, Virgil will never be Braxton. Lunalesca, am I the bad guy, an effing asshole, or have I forgotten. Virgil leads Dante through Hell. Dante never speaks Virgil’s name, though. Is It A Crime? Everything is.

Yet I look into the mirror; “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Again you can talk to Carolina about that. I mentioned her birthday. $50.00 and naked pictures. Lunalesca? There was a time I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Am I guilty of another betrayal? How treacherous am I? That honor belongs to Braxton. And to end such beauty. I’m repeating myself because, again, what happened yesterday. I’m woke. Standing up for what’s right for people. “Chinky” is not a nice word. Fetishizing Asians? I’ve been doing that with one woman in particular. Effing Instagram. But then B’s Aunt. Her getting laid because of me? Talk about some atonement. But all my sins… charges? Life. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

825 Days Without B III, Day 266 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

WillLeave a comment

When was I last listening to Eric Thomas’s speech on crying? How about when did I cry for my lost boy last? There are also the tears of how many angels. I’m not headed to paradise… after I die. But seeing I’m alive. “Tears Shed Lead To Paradise”

Monday, May 1, 2023

Saga 304 ~Tears Shed Lead To Paradise~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I hope I have the good sense to invest in shiny things. Don’t dive head first…

You know, like something out of DuckTales, Scrooge McDuck. Hell! It might be worth it. I’m already sick and tired. More so today. No offense to you, Madam Justice. I’ve done lots of talking today; the Man in the Mirror, B, and it’s your turn. As the song goes, “Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache. Tell me why? Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake?” Ha-Ha! Or should I go with this song, “Money for nothin’ and your chicks for Free?” In what world, Madam J? A world without my B? Oh, we’ll get to that because here I am working. No! That’s what I’ll be doing this week. Now it’s only us, and I’m tired. “Don’t cry to give up; cry to keep going.”

Learning how to swim? If I “endure and survive.” Someday it will all be worth it, won’t it, Madam? B and I would both be right here. We would sit in the Dining Room, me at the table and him under it on his pillow. The two of us crying together, and for what, hmm? Braxton cried for me. One more thing I can never forgive myself for. All those long nights of writing, telling myself I would publish a book. And I would have all the time he wanted. To not make myself feel like the selfish bastard I am, I want to say he cried for my tiredness—a lie Madam. Of course. Now I cry to put out the fires. Not Hell!

But Braxton would follow me anywhere. And since I’m still alive. Does Braxton wait for me? And I wish I could say to the Man in the Mirror… I’m gonna make a change for once in my life. It’s gonna feel real good. Gonna make a difference. Gonna make it right.” What did I say to myself on the 30th? Hell, if I know. Tears of laughter or happiness? No! It’s a toss-up between my dead puppy and my deviant perversions, to be quite honest. For example, … let’s say, a fetish for broken women. And OnlyFans is crying about my subscriptions expiring. Tears for losing such heavenly things, Madam. Braxton Barks? Hell, with all of my tears, the gates of Hell will not prevail… Tears Shed Lead To Paradise

820 Days Without B III, Day 261 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t buy the loveseat in the Den. I bought 99% of the food I’ve eaten there. All the movies I watched with B and Carolina and the hot maid. Paid for every book read there. And the adoption fee for Virgil. Am I broke yet? Virgil, We’ll B Spending.

Sunday, April 30, 2023

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have plenty of women, a wife. Uh, “whores,” (I like alliteration)! You have Virgil.

Poor Virgil. Or should I say poor you? Not that I can blame you at all. Hell! You may have already failed several of those Six Impossible Things, and it’s only 9:00 AM -for real. I’m the one that wrote down that list… of books. You’re the one that spent three hours buying them. Ok, so I lied. We can both take the heat on this one. But getting up. Everywhere, everything, every time, there is FEAR. It’s the only reason you saw 5:00 AM. Oh! And if this was the Day Job? That’s why you have a lot of writing to do. Swear It! Nope! I’d say do it for Virgil. You’ll spend more time crying about Braxton. Because again, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 121 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They might as well be lies. Let’s call them fiction, which again brings to mind all the books you bought today. Around thirty bucks worth. Even more? Eight books in total. I’d ask, are you crazy? But of course, you are. It would be well worth it to spend time with Triple B once more. Although only two or three are suitable for little ones. B III was grown ok. Hunger Games, dead fur babies, sex, eating people, wisdom, pornography, coitus, intercourse. At least Virgil Vivi can say he was by my side when I went shopping. Not for him. Do you want to spend more time with him, since you don’t have money to go anywhere for a while? Work on, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At the very least, you could spend time on the loveseat instead of in bed. I was only in the Den to meditate these last few days. Is that so I can find peace or get away from Virgil? You’re working at the dining room table, so you’re thinking… Both. How so? Yesterday when I was leaving, I had to yell at him for all his howling. He didn’t want me to go. But isn’t that what you’re doing, though? When it comes to Braxton? Going all, Stay With Me? You’ll have to try singing to V. Or at least using his name. Would it help? B III is gone. And Virgil someday… Yourself? Not soon enough to find B. Guess, Virgil, We’ll B Spending

819 Days Without B III, Day 260 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t understand love until Braxton, really… Let me add another word to that, awesome. Awesome was sitting in bed doling out fries to B. It was him sitting on the corner of the bed as I napped. It was being healthy. Someday Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would be awesome. It wouldn’t matter the clock, the crime… this isn’t Australia…

See, or better yet, the C word I wanted to use there. I have all the respect in the world for women. But that doesn’t make me a good man. Or even a man at all, no matter how I try. “My life” ha-ha, my existence is Shiitake mushrooms. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I did look up are Shiitake mushrooms good for dogs? Because it always comes back to Triple B. “Aaugh!” I would go all FML but no. I continue to exist. Braxton was effed over having me as a friend, father, and freeloader when it came to all his love, Lunalesca. What does all this mean? Hell! Not a damn thing, I know. But the first word that came to mind today… Awesome.

Yeah, I fell asleep during meditation. Relax, Lunalesca, I was supposed to. If I wasn’t going so broke at the end of this month. I am inclined to buy the full service? With a Happy Ending? Oh, I’m sorry, that’s a massage, right? Thirty-eight years and I’ve never had one. And I wouldn’t even have to be a billionaire, Luna. Certain celebrities? Lunalesca, I’m trying to avoid looking them up. Or even something simple as, Happy Tugs. The things in this world that I find awesome. Haven’t I always said that everything I want is Impossible, Inane, Insane… Illegal. Lady Lunalesca, God gave me everything I want. Nope! Not yet. Why not? But you know what? Having Braxton Barks back. Now that would be awesome.

“Everything Is Awesome!!!” But the question is when. What about how or why, Lady Lu? If, as Aloe Blacc sang, “Life’s a game made for everyone.” Let’s start. Easy Level. Lady Lunalesca, (sigh) Virgil would get off my leg. My only reason for getting out of bed today, I swear—another lie. I should get a haircut, go shopping, and keep myself alive for B. Yeah, I said B and not V. And did I say easy? I can’t say what I mean, Lunalesca, ever? How I hope that is a lie. Like I tell myself every time I crawl into bed. I’ll take a nap, or I won’t have to get up at all. In-between, Eff, I mean, uh, Awesome. Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

818 Days Without B III, Day 259 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 297 ~A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience~

WillLeave a comment

I’d say I’m a patient human being. A waiting or sick one? One more question and no wisdom. Then I’m rushing to get out of everyone’s way or to get them out of my face. Now Braxton could be Zen. Virgil’s scared. A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience.

Monday, April 24, 2023

Saga 297 ~A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… But what Billionaire do you know has patience? Then again, what do I know of money, Madam?

I want to say the boys (Braxton and Virgil) have taught me plenty. Hell! I’m still waiting for Braxton to return… I’ll be waiting, always. Even now, calling, Braxton! Madam, even when he was an old man… forever my little boy. Nevertheless fifteen. Madam, I would wait for him unless I saw he was in pain. Braxton had so much living left to do. One of the common questions when it comes to euthanasia is the timing. And how long was it before Virgil Vivi came into this world? By my count, 559 days ago after Braxton’s passing? Own it? Own them both! I killed Braxton and brought Virgil here. There was something I heard once about the time between murders. Am I not merciful?

I’m patient. Because, as the song goes, “I’m just a sucker for pain.” My own, to be honest, Madam. One of the few things I’ll admit to owning. A sadist, “pretending.” Masochist, if anything. I don’t want to hurt anyone… outside the bedroom. Ok, that’s a big lie for sure. But speaking physically, I believe everyone runs as hot as me. Like speed, sins, and sexually. Why am I always lying? Sex is the one area taken “Nice & Slow,” Madam. Only I feel as though I’m wasting everyone’s time. What? By merely existing. Patience, Madam. Mentally, never. I want to learn because stupidity is a disease. Knowledge is Power. Education is Freedom. I both had no patience, and I was too slow. Obtaining wisdom

I love my Braxton. That’s 18 years, two months, and 24 days. I’m sure one of these days; I’ll read a book that convinces me that his death wasn’t my doing. Perhaps to cherish Virgil. Yeah. as I’m “Patiently Waiting” to see that girl’s yabbos or another one’s ta-tas. And speaking of my imagination, it’s been 115 days since the last release. Madam? Dammit! I’m waiting to be a better person. Last week I talked about staring at the “Man in the Mirror” for 38 years. Who are you? What’s wrong with you? What the fuck? I could continue. It’s like being back in class and writing out the problems. I never knew the answers. Will they come? Different questions? A Person’s Wisdom Yields Patience.

813 Days Without B III, Day 254 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I would have died for Braxton. And who knows, I could go broke for Virgil. And even if I hadn’t had two fur babies, as the song goes, “I’m bleeding and broken.” Always in one way or another. Mental, Physical, the Man in the Mirror. To B Broken Virgil

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you exist more like Seong Gi-hun from “Squid Game.” You are not a horse… That’s positivity.

The most you’ll get today because you feel like crap or glue. Either one works for the horse analogy that’s going on. Hell! Back in the day, I bet on the horses (sigh). Good Times? And now, these Hard Times. If it’s not your body… And for once, you’re not thinking about your wayward dick. Anyway, your body is broken, or your bank account. Broke? What does that mean to you? More effing work. I left you with so much to do with my “Lazy-Ass.” How many pop-culture references is that; wanting to hear anything? Billionaires don’t have to listen to anybody if that helps. That’s why I’m talking, and you’re listening. Or you’re trying to. More like you need to understand… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 114 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When will Braxton coming back be on the list? It’s not like you’re doing four of these things anyway. I was ready to break #4, dammit! One pain in exchange for another. One head for another. Instead of a hard-on, you have a headache. Luckily you have a few pills. Why not cry, “I’m just a sucker for pain!” 812 days, revenge, justice, punishment. The “precision of language?” If that doesn’t sum up every effing word, you’ll say this week. Words like Humiliation, Sorry, and the greatest of these is Love. Ears and eyes work. Only you’re still broken, and Jesus ain’t coming by to save you. Would you want him anyway? If he or anyone else had saved Braxton… But no Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I got six more. Um ok. Uh, again. As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha. Your right ear is perfectly fine. You don’t need your ears living a “Bukkake” scene. Keeping your pants on other than in the bathroom will be pretty effing easy. Bukkake? No. You will not cry about Braxton today. Will you be happy with his memory? You’ll have something to look forward to tomorrow. And be one step close to Billions. You’ve healed completely! The Cherry Collision, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart? Existence? Today you will live. Yeah, I’m laughing at that one too. Mental Health broke. If anything, cancel those OnlyFans subscriptions. Be grateful Virgil’s little body is broken. According to vets. To B Broken Virgil

812 Days Without B III, Day 253 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

V handles his shi… his business better than me. The vet says he’ll continue to at the tune of $125. But then the termite guy wanted $189. And as V “runs” to me, where did I run to… Some man, I am at 38. Yet I want a family. “To B Thirty-Nine Virgil.”

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… well, no. Neither am I thirty-nine at the moment. Or proud of myself? Love Virgil? Happy?

Hell! Today will sound like it’s for Inspector Echo. To wake up humiliated, Lady Lunalesca. I had a nightmare about what happened at the Day Job Thursday. Facts Luna, like this one. (Sigh), my son is dead. But Banfield called to check up on 2V today. No, that’s not a dig. They would check on B III all the time as well. Love, business, everything in between? B was/is my business. So where’s his novel, Lunalesca? You’re not Mary J. Blige telling me, “Why won’t you grow up and be a man someday.” I always say something to the tune of “Not Today.” We’ll get into not having a family after all this time. “What do we say to the God of Death? Not today.”

But at thirty-eight, what have I done with this existence? Notice I don’t want to say “my life.” I’m glad I’m listening to a meditation. Yeah, I’d be all into Jon Bon Jovi, you know. “It’s My Life.” One of my rules Lunalesca. Number Fifteen, I Take My Own Lumps. Lunalesca, you want to know what that means to me? Manhood, I suffer, fight, and love. Today, tomorrow, however many days I got left, I believe the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. The effing GOP? Or they want all women to be mothers and nothing more. It’s no secret I want a family. I’m paying $115.00 to ensure Virgil Vivi stays alive and well, $10.00 more in Braxton’s memory. I am taking care of business.

Remember the termite guy that “stole” that Bow from me during the inspection? Eff me! Anyway. So I, a thirty-eight-year-old man. I went and begged my “daddy” for compensation. And let’s not mention the lights, the water, the whole damn house! Lunalesca, I keep food on the table for V and me. There are the clothes on our backs, aren’t there, Lunalesca? I keep the car running. Not paid for, but it keeps going. I’m still alive. The Cherry Collision. and The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? Lunalesca? Veterinarians ain’t cheap, but a bit less than keeping myself healthy. A man provides, Lu. I got access to sexy things and what’s dangling between my legs. Yet Braxton was/is the best man ever. To B Thirty-Nine Virgil

811 Days Without B III, Day 252 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 290 ~Some Are Born Many Times~

WillLeave a comment

Well, did I survive the day? Are we talking today or Monday? I was dead this morning when I cut off the alarm at 4:00 AM. Then spent 1:00 PM edging. And I’m sure I did something STUPID today. But I got the right rule down… “Some Are Born Many Times.”

Monday, April 17, 2023

Saga 290 ~Some Are Born Many Times~

Two-Hundred and Eighty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… so seeing that money is no object, let’s see if I can get this right today hmm.

As I’ve died so many times. But I only need to get it right once. Only you’ve never seen me write a goodbye… um, a suici… I’ve never said, “I’m going to see my son, so take care, everybody.” Please! Madam, I’m more inclined to go all in with this. “My respects to all friends, confusion to all enemies. God bless you. Take care of my little boy.” The Alamo. That’s from the 2004 edition, to be precise, Madam. How I hate counting these years. Talking to Lady Lunalesca today… It’s Saturday, April 15, 2023. So yes, I’m time-traveling. Even now, I wonder why. As I took a catnap, once again, I hoped, “prayed” I wouldn’t wake up Madam. Reincarnation’s a bitch. Braxton understands that.

I told Lunalesca that, approaching thirty-nine. I see how I’ve wasted this entire existence (sigh). Not that I ever asked for it. Or the fact that I have to relive it again and again, hmm. I keep telling myself that when I go to the Day Job. And they ask how I’m doing. I’ll say: “I’m waiting to see who will piss me off today.” It’s more like, “I’m waiting to see what kills me.” As the song goes, “You make me wanna die. I’ll never be good enough.” I don’t have to wait for them, dammit. The fact that we’re talking today… Dying. Yesterday or a few days before, I let the Day Job take this Monday and why. The cash to live, ha-ha?

If I told you about every single time I died. Much like The Cherry Collision. Or The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Hell! I have pictures. NSFW work, though, Madam. Of course, there is Sunday, January 31, 2021. It was around 4:00 PM Braxton passed. Madam, Thursday, June 3, 2021. The day my “grief” ended? Never! But my cock gushed. Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. The first time I needed a doc for something besides my eyes. And how do I feel now, with The Cherry Collision? Monday, January 30, 2023. The day I stunk worse than my Granddad—his funeral day. Then there’s E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. What about tomorrow Madam? Unlike Braxton, I die, return… Some Are Born Many Times.

806 Days Without B III, Day 247 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will