I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.
Thursday, April 9, 2026
Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~
1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.
I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.
Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.
My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.
Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.
“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000
Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.
However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.
Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.
When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.
Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.
It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad
