Tag: Afraid

Tale 036 ~Virgil, B Holds Greatness~

WillLeave a comment

Either, something’s trying to get me. It’s time to escape. Or I’m “My Own Worst Enemy.” All the above. So why do I hold on? Virgil deserves a nice yard like Braxton had. Embarrassing, Humiliations Galore from the neighbors. Virgil, B Holds Greatness.

Sunday, August 6, 2023

Tale 036 ~Virgil, B Holds Greatness~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And showing off “that mean, oh mean, mean green. Almighty dollar” would be enough for me. You?

Honest to God, you’re trying hard to hold onto your sanity. The week before last, it was all V… This week, it has been all “Hold The Door” Hodor. The fence, the line, privacy. Hell! I couldn’t hold onto my son. But your Grief? We’ll get to that. We always do now you’re 917 Days in. And what else have you been doing with that time? Just waking up? This is one day that you wish you didn’t have to. If only you could hold onto the dark, ha. Didn’t I talk about the love of death at one point? Necromancy, Zombies, an Apocalypse? You know you could always become a Republican? But you want to hold onto morals, standards… Really! And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing After Pet Loss: Navigating Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I’m pretty damn dedicated to holding these things forever, as you will be, too. Braxton ain’t going nowhere, that’s for sure. Okay, so that’s a lie. And worse? You gave it to him. That lie, dollars that did nothing but bring about his death and his Daddy going “The Distance.” Less Michael Bolton and more Cake. Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse. Assail (you), impale (you) with monster truck force,” as the song goes. Now, there’s a thought. Maybe Braxton is trying to escape… So, the fence is failing. Perhaps he is trying to make a comeback. Or he wants to force you to move on from this place? He wouldn’t risk it knowing how you’re feeling right now. Dying with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pawprints on the Heart: Healing From
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Number six? One of the things that falls under that is to “Stay Alive.” It could sound better. Hmm? How about the want, need, and desire not only to exist? But to live right now? There is still so much left to learn. But again, Republican tendencies, none of it is any good. One more book on how to mourn your son. Or how not to mend fences at all. Being so in love with death leads to some messed up places… Somnophilia, other words… Eww! That’s a conversation for Inspector Echo. And what about your critics, censorship, more Cake? “In his mind, he’s still driving, still making the grade.” Nope! Behold, beautiful women, your Braxton, and this backyard fence Band-Aid. Virgil, B Holds Greatness

917 Days Without B III, Day 358 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 033 ~ I’ll B Fearful Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Oh, I remember “doing time” in the church. God has not given us the spirit of fear. No, my father gave me plenty. And when I became a father… once. I ain’t sure about V. Only he’s afraid. You’d have to be crazy not to be scared. I’ll B Fearful Virgil

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Tale 033 ~ I’ll B Fearful Virgil~

914 Days Without B III, Day 355 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I brought fries or other food back for the last months/year of your life. Always.

I didn’t have hope or courage. Whatever love I have is for you. And holding on to it, B was a… I swear, one of these days, I have to get over this censorship. But you see it B III. I’m still time-traveling. Today is Wednesday, July 26, 2023. So you can guess how I am Now and Later. What are you, a vampire? Now and Later candy? The movie Let Me In. Remember Braxton Barks? Ah! To be so young again, you and me. We weren’t scared of films. I tell myself that you weren’t afraid of anything. It’s a lie like saying I killed you, B III ha. Only I did. And you were scared of Granddaddy, furry “girls,” and leaving me alone.

If you’re asking what got me today, take your pick. Or should I say all the above? On the test, THEY would say go with C. But I know the answer… B. Always you, Thou Art Courageous. But you are your father’s son. And your granddaddy called me Wednesday. It went about as well as to be expected. If I wasn’t “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal” before. Braxton, I hate to say it, but it could always be worse. Again, the two of us and women, ha-ha. Your aunt? I was pretty stupid to M-Anime. My words B. And then there’s Cherry. All these things I wish I could explain. But now I’m here with Virgil. Well, he’s on the bed. I’m still upset about YOUR pillows… Crap and vomit.

Have I got V a new one by this time? Do you want to know something else that scares me? Having not a dollar to my name. By the time you read this… um, workweek paycheck. It’ll be more than a few horrible weeks, but the floor, B? Do you recall when we had the ant invasion and the nightmares that kept waking me? And now cracks in the floorboards? Not to mention, the sound of the AC is driving me insane. I’m never happy. There was a time I complained that I didn’t hear a thing. And now the sounds of moaning, “Tiny Tabby.” And I keep saying it —the fear of time. I’m thirty-eight. I’m scared. So is Virgil. I’ll B Fearful Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 029 ~Virgil Will B Twenty-Four~

WillLeave a comment

One day left to exist… I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. Once, I downed some sleeping pills. I had Taco Bell with painkillers. Passed out before walking Braxton. Hugged him on January 31. Then Virgil got sick. Virgil Will B Twenty-Four

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Tale 029 ~Virgil Will B Twenty-Four~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But Thirty-eight beats never. Now’s not the time for joking. You are the worst joke of all?

You knew that was coming. Hell! I’ve been through enough. And you’re looking at the clock with bated breath. A spoiled, self-centered, selfish… God, you want to say more, ha. Once again, there’s no time for silliness or smiling. For the love of everything, smile? Please, don’t! But you can appreciate that you wouldn’t have had to clean anything in a few hours. And everything’s back to normal. Say his name: Virgil Vivi Bradford. Yeah! You had to delete Braxton’s middle name, which says much about your mental state. As the song goes, “If I Only Had A Brain.” You need a (growls) a heart. That’s my advice for you. With everything I did yesterday… Was it for love? It wasn’t those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge) LitRPG
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Use your head. That would be another piece of advice. A heart would be fantastic. Yesterday, I was using my head to track down veterinarians. How many did I call? Republican fallacy that. I was offering thoughts and prayers for Virgil. And it paid off… And besides the almost whole day, I spent trying to save Virgil. And you wake up to the memories of Braxton. Do you know what other names came? Uh, what’s under the Visual Lady’s shirt and Chasity Lynn? Tsk, tsk, right? I swear I treat “adult situations” like a zombie virus. Add to that selfishness and stupidity. All about the letter S. It’s so dumb. Which is why you want to sleep existence away. And not do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing After Pet Loss: Navigating Grief
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have twenty-four hours. Isn’t that what the motivations would say? Ah! Good Times. You were up on time, and what did you do for, let’s say, an hour and a half? Uh-huh. Yeah. All last week, I was talking about time. Or was it this week? Whatever! It was about how I fear it. Then, last night, I looked in the mirror. My last piece of advice… Smiling. Repeating myself, I know, but don’t smile. It’s so gross (shudders). Worse than Virgil throwing up. What about seeing him through another twenty-four hours? Didn’t I say everything would be okay if I got to August? In October, Virgil will be twenty-one. A few months after? A new day. Suck it up. Virgil Will B Twenty-Four

910 Days Without B III, Day 351 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

As the song goes, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” Well, V’s got no pockets. And no girls have been up in here. He’s got his food. If he didn’t spend days afraid, like me. Don’t B Broke Virgil

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

907 Days Without B III, Day 348 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’ve bawled like a baby. I’m bellowed a ton of BS. And I’m broke.

Of course, I’m time-traveling, Braxton. Today is Sunday, July 16, 2023. So a week and quite a bit of change. And not the kind I could use. If only I treated every dollar as if it made cents, ha-ha. For you, Little B. But yeah, your Dad is a liar because where’s your stuff? Braxton, you should have memorials galore. Even better… You should still be alive, B III. Hell! With all the money in the world, I doubt anything could have been done to save you. Trust the science, Pancake. However, I have read about other people’s madness. Somewhere a scientist was kidnapped because someone wanted their friend to be immortal. Another person had $1000 towards theirs. Which ain’t much by any means B.

I always said you had $1000 in insurance. But God knows for you, Braxton, I’d have gone all “John Q” to save you. And what about Virgil? He’s broke but in a much different way. A way that ain’t costing me any money. Besides a few tears for you, I’ve been bitching all day. Sorry about the language. Not like I can swear at your grandpa, or Bill come Monday. How about the Man in the Mirror, who I talked to today? Always time-traveling, B. Bringing books to life, ha. If only I had done that before. There are the ones for you, B III. I could be an exhibitionist, like you, in front of your Aunt. Showing my balls on OnlyFans and such, hmm…

Begging for more hours at the Day Job is out of the question. Little B, I blame no one for your death except myself… And that place. The rage it brought. The Hell inside me. Talk about money burning a hole in my pocket. You and Virgil are pretty lucky you don’t have pockets. You didn’t have to worry, but of course you did. You are your Dad’s son B. But Virgil? It only mattered when we didn’t have AC at all. And now I’m in the same place. Now if it were you, Little B, I wouldn’t be questioning anything. You are my son. But lacking food bellyaches, the bills I gotta pay, (spoiled) and wanting to bail on existing… Don’t B Broke Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 022 ~B Waking Up Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Well, a cappuccino ain’t cuttin’ it. Nor a hundred likes on Instagram. And V isn’t waking me up if there isn’t a storm. So why wake up? To keep Braxton alive? And how did that turn out? No new audiobooks or “life” prospects. “B Waking Up Virgil”

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Tale 022 ~B Waking Up Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But sometimes. Yeah, the week’s just started; sometimes, when you wake up hot. Feels like you won.

Because you’re in Hell, so it must mean you’re dead. Ain’t that a cheery thought? Beginnings of a new week. But you woke up on time for something other than the Day Job. And then you… Well? You know what you want to say, but when you have critics? And so you wonder why you want to be read. It’s not like I helped Saturday. Honestly, you’re too “adult?” Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Brings a tear to your eye. Dammit the song “Sweet Cherry Pie.” Which is, of course, why you’ll get into trouble. Anyway, you’re too apathetic to “Life Itself.” The movie… and, of course, yours in general. Or should you say adversarial to yourself and everyone in this existence? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “GOLDEN ECLIPSE: HEART DOG,” Howard Schultheis
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Funny how things like being happy, human, how about hung? Do you remember what you said about being adult and apathetic? Geez! Such dark thoughts for this AM, uh huh. But it is Sunday. Oh, how you looked forward to the dead. Or at least the infected. You’re all into Necromancy, hmm. But Braxton ain’t coming back. Did you think today was the day you’d forget him? If you weren’t worthy of Hell before for betraying your little boy. Only then would you be waking up cold. You know, with the Ninth Circle of Hell and all. And you had an intriguing thought. Now you said you could never be a doctor, uh, you know. “We’re The Ones Who Live.” Hell! These, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge) LitRPG
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

They are going to… Censorship is driving you crazy. And didn’t you already say, dammit? Okay, now besides being so very STUPID and unhelpful… Hmm, maybe you could be a doctor in this new America. What you’re trying to say is this. You could have studied the dead. And back when I was into science, I could have learned about viruses, sicknesses, and plagues. Talk about having a life – an existence worth living, waking today? Truthfully, besides not wanting to at all. There’s nothing to look so see here. Existence. The day never officially began until Braxton stepped on my face. Virgil lies here waiting. Living with a corpse, a ghost, or a zombie is terrible. But I replaced the air filter. A day’s accomplishment. B Waking Up Virgil

903 Days Without B III, Day 344 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

WillLeave a comment

Virgil never speaks unless I’m leaving. And I’d be surprised if he knew that was his name. I suppose the good news is, I’m not feeling his head with Braxton stories. I wouldn’t know how to tell them anyway. But trying. “Virgil Learns A, B…”

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

900 Days Without B III, Day 341 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did Virgil, since I know you’re looking after him when I can’t? What’s today’s excuse?

Because yes, I am trying to get back into time travel. Today is Wednesday, July 12, 2023, Braxton. Hell! I’m as reliable as the scientists in the Theta Timeline series. Yeah, you were gone before I got to read those. I’ll have to look up Virgil’s first book. Ancient history? Now that’s something you will never be. But reading, writing? If I knew about science. With your ashes boxed on the nightstand, how could I ever bring you back, Braxton? What language am I even speaking? I’m sure my writing has only gotten worse by the time you’re reading this. That’s what I’ve been thinking about these last weeks. Writing? The word would be procrastination. Virgil’s first book, “Until We Meet Again” by Sarah-Jane Farrell.

In case you were wondering how deep my laziness goes. It’s easier to look up a book than write one. Notice, I didn’t say read because the one I’m on now is effed up immensely. Who knows what I’ll be reading when you see this? You’d know when I was really into a book Little B. Like the way I always knew you were into your Aunt. “On the floor.” I was saying something today about you and comfy spots. But not to Virgil. Silence? Braxton, I swear I’m not trying to be a loser, a meanie, or negative. I can’t get that thought out of my head. And add to it seeing all these books, reviews, anything, and everything. I just shouldn’t be talking.

Or writing? And I’ve said it so many times. All these books, and I’m not getting any wiser, I know, or don’t whatever. So what does that leave me with… MATH. I need money B. Only how many hours did I work last week and this one? All the time in the world B III. What do I do with it? I sleep. And I can only wonder what V is thinking right now, hmm. He and I don’t talk. We spend the day here if I don’t drag my pathetic ass out of bed. Except when I’m trying to walk him. Two years without you. And nearly a year with Virgil, so approaching Gotcha Day. Are we learning yet? Nope! Virgil Learns A, B…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 015 ~Braxton’s Good News Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So what’s the bad news? Well, I woke up. Good news? Well, that’s always someone else. And I ain’t Red from Shawshank. A part of me does rejoice. Braxton’s not in pain anymore. Virgil sleeps on the bed. Ole girl got home. “Braxton’s Good News Virgil.”

Sunday, July 16, 2023

Tale 015 ~Braxton’s Good News Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re not trending or going viral. You’re not even in the top percentile on OnlyFans. Relax.

Easier said than done, am I right? Oh! You’re sitting in bed, wasting another morning. Even later than usual (sigh). Not that I can blame you after yesterday. Adulting sucks! More like Math. And while you hate the idea of, (things could be worse). Well, they could be. The money’s there, only much less of it. It’s not like, well, you know. Braxton is dead. This was supposed to be good news. But B’s still dead. You have a lot less money today. Hell! Your pants were around your ankles a while ago. Feeling something beats feeling nothing? It’s like out of The Color Purple. How dare you! Isn’t that a classic, hmm? “Your black, you’re poor, you’re ugly.” And there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING – Buried Deep in our Hearts
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When you can only ever do one. So what’s the bad news? Well, besides being a pop culture whore. “Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote The unreasonable fury of a beast. Unseemly woman in a seeming man!” A bit of Romeo + Juliet for you as well (sigh). Dammit! There’s the fact you even have the audacity and knowledge to think such things. “There are thou happy?” Okay, so you’re never happy. That word need not exist here. But Virgil does. After spending all that money, I had groceries, and Virgil was living. Billionaires don’t care about others with all they have, but I have so little. And yes, you have even less. Only you continue to exist with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “GOLDEN ECLIPSE: HEART DOG,” Howard Schultheis
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Good News! You have to be positive. And, of course, that ain’t me talking. Effing critics. You did wake up to find out they found that woman who disappeared, Carlee Russell. Again you find out that the phone is only a porno device, but you can do good for once or at least find it. Out there in the world. I don’t know how long that will last with everything. At least you aren’t buying into The Pic Phenomenon… Bill’s Visiting? Dammit, More Money! More Money! Lost! You’ll need something to make you feel better, right? Before you go to boobs, um, books? Something from the bakery. Did you forget to buy something for Braxton? Do you want some good news? Braxton’s Good News Virgil

896 Days Without B III, Day 337 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

WillLeave a comment

It’s all about the numbers. The only ones I have been looking at are on the phone. A 45-minute nap? I’m sorry, 10 more minutes, no 20, how about 30? And Virgil isn’t the one right now. Why don’t I look at the hours I’m working? “2V, BIII, Will Zero.”

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

893 Days Without B III, Day 334 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how, I’m speaking to you on Sunday, July 9, 2023. My day was…

Well, whatever, I would say B, with whatever app I’m on. I’m simplistic, senile, and STUPID. I hate my age right now. And it’s scary to think that I wish with all my time travel. If I could go back in time, before your death, before we met… Existence, Living? Hell! Plop me down in any ole math class, and let me start over again. I need to try B. Anyway, we’ll mark today as another failure in doing anything. And by the time you read this… These days I want to cuddle up close to you and blabber away. Of course, I can’t do that with Virgil right now. Nor would I want to. He got in trouble anyway. Braxton, you remember those days.

As you can see, I’m still counting yours at 893. Harder days are coming. And I don’t mean like you humping your toys. That monster hair dryer or stick of dynamite of yours, B III. That reminds me that I should pick that up. Some toys Virgil shouldn’t inherit, Braxton. Why am I being so “mean” to him these days? He’s my second chance. And didn’t I save his life? It’s all about the number Little B. And 334 days in, to be honest, we have yet to bound at all. I am trying to walk him more. I’m uncomfortable with his leash and collar. So that must mean I care some. I don’t want him running off. And if he were to get hurt?

Money is the root of all evil. But it is also my biggest concern with all this time off, Braxton. Well, next to crying about you. Better my tears than anything else. I’ve lost track of those and other things I should be ashamed of. Unscheduled lunches, napping. Anything to avoid the world of the living. It’s sad that it even includes Virgil, Braxton. Again walking around the backyard like the living dead or infected to avoid reading, ha. More dead fur babies or whatever Kindle thing popped up. There’s no money for books. But I have plenty right in front of me. Uh, two I wrote for you. I can’t count them as wins. Well, if I edited, published… Scoreboard! 2V, BIII, Will Zero

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A pillow I effed up soon after V’s arrival, and a can of dog food. I haven’t thrown anything of B’s away. I see his bed every day. I wear the hoody he laid on. But seeing his face… Mine… “No face as hideous as my face.” “Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil.”

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And existence is easier when you don’t have to see the faces of those you hurt, asshole.

Is it any wonder the sons of former slave owners… grandsons, great-grandsons? Hell! Whatever? Anyway, they don’t want to see African Americans on a greenback… Government (sigh)! It’s how you wake up in the morning. Well, next to the pornography. How you wish you could say you’d give it all up to see Braxton again. Now would you? I mean, really, could you? You could look into Virgil’s little eyes. Between V and B? There would be no contest. Braxton wins. Though you’re not one for putting your boys against each other… How did this day start again? You were mad at Twitter, jerking to some twins, and then? Ahh, missing your son like last night and hearing that song while doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ark (Forward Collection) by Veronica Roth
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the record, in Ark (Forward collection) Kindle Edition by Veronica Roth, the song “Wish You Were Here.” Sam was talking about Pink Floyd and not the one from Incubus. One more reason you believe B is sending you signs. And working for ugly women? That’s pretty harsh. Women you don’t find attractive or that you’ve never seen at all. Although you believe Samantha in the story is “So Hott” and Veronica Roth too. Effer. Effing Pic Phenomenon. I was so scared when that happened. You still are, no doubt. Today though, it’s getting to that point of “I Don’t Care Anymore.” Considering I’ve gotten off to that pixeled mess from some Japanese films. Only “God” knows all the faces you’ve seen. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Thinking On It… Effing Kindle Challenges
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you wonder if there is such an entity, has he seen your face? And if not, Heaven, uh, no. You’re more self-conscious that B III is somewhere looking at you. Oh, to have shame. That’s why you hate mirrors. To beg that thing on the other side to “Save me from the nothing I’ve become.” I can’t, or I won’t. And it will be the same for you. Frightening. More than any horror movie I’ve seen, or you will. Why do you think you’ll study Necromancy? How to bring the dead back to life. You’re talking about yourself. Only you don’t want to see it. Trust The Process? There are clocks, Virgil’s eyes, people. You’ll see yourself and HATE yourself. Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil

889 Days Without B III, Day 330 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll do anything to avoid getting out of bed. Yet I’m procrastinating when it even comes to that. “Success, no, I should be playing “Lazy Ass.” Heaven’s where you find it. Still rather be with my boy. But to honor him? BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Thursday, July 06, 2023

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

886 Days Without B III, Day 327 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Since I’m Time Traveling, I’ll give anything for this day not to begin. You know.

Meditation? Hell! I remember when all that entailed was coming back to the house, scooping you up, and falling to bed. Yeah, that’s called sleeping. I think. And I’m lying. There was that time I had a subscription to Brainbuddy. Something I couldn’t tell you. To be honest, it’s tough talking to you now. I would rather be doing anything else like I was yesterday evening. I miss you so damn much. Your pictures Braxton, getting a tattoo, and all the stuff I still have yet to buy in 886 days. I’m lazy, broke, or depressed. Take your pick. All of the above. So many effing excuses. What about Virgil, you ask? I don’t know what to do B. Procrastination? Braxton, did I almost say, like father, like son? Never!

Both of those are pretty awful. If I’m being honest. To claim Virgil feels like I’m adding to my Treachery. If I don’t? Then why did I bother bringing him with me 327 days ago? Braxton, today is Tuesday, July 4, 2023, Independence Day. A bad day for dogs. Well, a lot of furry companions. You weren’t fond of it. We would sit cuddled together as we waited for the world to explode. That makes me like everyone else. Doesn’t it? Waiting, procrastinating, obsessing over everything. Even now, Virgil’s shaking against my leg B. I hope I can wait to move him for a while. He just wants to be comforted. So I hope. Braxton, that’s the mistake I made with you. I thought you were annoying. Sick? No, dying.

That Thursday, I knew I had to get you to a Doc, and for what? Like father, like son. You made the boatman wait a little longer. Didn’t you, my prince? Procrastinating unto death. A thought. I’m doing the same. Yesterday I cleared out my inbox and dumped my pictures. And I even got around to reorganizing the desktop and for what. Conversations? Well, better known as writing to Inspector Echo. And to you. Madness, rage, effing hatred. But, never towards you or the girls but at myself. If it isn’t the world ending. It’s seeing these people being motivated, making money, their marriages, and making babies. “Here comes success.” Sending me a song already? Asking, better telling Virgil and me; BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad