Meditation 169 ~Virgil And B Vitamins~

Men try not to share with their families. And that’s one of the reasons Braxton is gone. I wanted to protect him from my pain. So, I ignored his pain until it was too late. And now, with how I “look after” myself. And V’s needs. Virgil And B Vitamins

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Meditation 169 ~Virgil And B Vitamins~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And all you need is love, right. The smooth jams of Marvin Gaye’s particular healing.

I wish I could maintain this positivity. But at this particular moment as Braxton’s… spirit was telling me about. I feel like Winston and Julia did… After the Thought Police…

Have you ever read 1984 my love? I’m sorry if I spoiled it for you. I can be a pain.

However, today’s point is that I’m in pain. I’ve felt worse. Am I going to bring up Braxton yet again? If you ever copped with that type of attitude, I’d walk out in a heartbeat. No one disrespects our children, especially my firstborn son. But speaking of heartbeats. Do I need one? I’m counting up injuries. I’ve got a headache; my right ear’s a mess. And have I pulled a muscle in my left leg?

I’m just a sucker for pain. Since leaving my Olds payroll… I’m a billionaire now. Well, you and I are billionaires, my love. Anyway, the only pain that interests me is yours and the girls in the business, if you know what I mean… If you’re interested in what took me so long to talk to you today. Only I found no relief as I’m still hurting all over, love.

Reading didn’t help. Again, I’m in my favorite part of 1984: Winston and Julia’s affair. Did you know Winston was thirty-nine and Julia was twenty-six? I’m forty, and what’s your age again, baby girl? It would be a pain if I forgot your age or your birthday. But What’s My Age Again? I’m forgetful. Huh.

These days, this man’s body, music, and memories remind me that I should be publishing a manuscript. But I feel so bad today. I need to remember to down this pill that’s on the table beside me. I swear, even the algorithm knows what I’m up to. With last night…

I saw a video message warning about the dangers of acetaminophen. But why doesn’t anyone answer this? How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? I swear the music, my love.

And as for us in the bedroom? Gee whiz, I wonder why I’m into someone else’s pain and humiliation. And all sorts of dirty words. And what about getting swatted on the behind… I have issues. Like Braxton’s passing. My pain. Virgil And B Vitamins

1416 Days Without B III, Day 857 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 162 ~Virgil On B’s Downgrade~

I hope he, she, or they are not like me; I hope they understand. Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. A man raises his wife and children higher than himself. It worked for B. He got sent to Heaven. Uh, low. But myself. “Virgil On B’s Downgrade”

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Meditation 162 ~Virgil On B’s Downgrade~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Above myself? Of course. But my love is like hope. I keep none for myself.

Uh, you married a geek. I can only tell you a little about Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, etc. But nevertheless, a geek. I read, and I know things. Game Of Thrones? With all my time off, not counting when you’re reading this, you would think I would catch up with some pop culture. Wrestling, Wickedness, the Wh***dom of my novel. I’m powering down.

Today is Thursday, December 6, 2024. And I am a shell of my former self. Please, haven’t I been this way since I lost my boy, my Braxton? And what about Virgil? He’s so bored.

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m a downgrade from who had Virgil first. Who loved him first? He’s got comfy spots and cool water. So Cheers!

But not for me. Every day, it’s like I have to make myself so much worse. What so you’ll leave. No! Never! Ever! And if losing my firstborn didn’t do that… I still mourn him.

Existence has been forever and always downgraded without Braxton. But it could be worse. I could be Ted Mosby, forever pining away for another woman while I have our family. If a man finds an angel… And I have you, my love. His duty, honor, and privilege is to build her a Heaven. And if a man touches the sky… That’s where Heaven is? Hmm.

A man and woman must show their children the stars. The twinkle in father’s eye.

Seriously? Am I trying to be a somewhat decent writer?

I’d settle for being a decent father and friend and not too effing shabby in the sack as a husband, my love. And that’s the problem. It feels wrong to desire more but then to live with desiring less or not at all. There’s being indifferent. At the same time, if I choose what I want, what does it make me? The guy that let the vet euthanize Braxton. Love?

You know what I wanted to say. What’s a word for censorship, sadness, and disgust all rolled into one? And let’s not forget depravity. Is that why I want to do specific things with you in bed? Because I’m not worthy of an angel. Or a friend like Braxton. But fatherhood? Virgil On B’s Downgrade

1409 Days Without B III, Day 850 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

During NaNoWriMo, was I ashamed of what I was writing? And now I’m embarrassed that these hands aren’t given the keys to the Day Job when I’ve been there over a decade and my “boss” has been there, um, two years… Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But as much as I love my firstborn son? Or how about RELATIONS? Yet Humiliation…

No love, I’m not talking about my being humiliated, “doing the deed.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m into some worrisome, wicked, and WTF kinks and fetishes in the throes of passion. Spanking? Yeah, I have issues. But I’m not talking about any of those. Later…

Dearest, today I’m talking about people. My Dad, ha-ha. My father. Memories of my old Day Job. And the people I meet daily. If I wanted any early Christmas present besides getting my dog/son back. Or the almighty dollar. The destruction of MAGA. Starting with its leader, Donald Trump. I would decide never to be humiliated ever again. Why don’t I try not to wake up in the morning? Today was one of those days, my love. More Humiliations Galore!

It’s why I tend to surround myself with so many beautiful things. Choosing not to be humiliated is like choosing not to breathe. It’s a nice thought, but don’t give me hope that it won’t happen again. I’m already tearing up. But I’m not ashamed to cry. Not for B…

And then play the song “He’s My Son.” Niagara Falls, baby doll. I’m not ashamed that I love Braxton more than my life. Hell! I’m still reading “The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend.” And if I ever in a million years would say that what I did was the right thing. It would be purely on the grounds that he didn’t have me shame him. Poor boy.

There was this movie, love…

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Love Story

Love means never having to be ashamed of being who you are. And I don’t love who I am. And so here I am, embarrassed. But who am I to you? Husband, Hero, a hell-bound best friend. How about a humiliated human being? I’ve been watching a few things all about men who would be heroes if just for one day. Only to end up as influencers, showing what not to do. Crucified. Or locked in the Ministry of Love. Um, 2023’s Share, The Book of Clarence, and 1984. I’m not ashamed to admit wanting Suzanna Hamilton, aka Julia. But to live ashamed of keys, knowledge, and keeping my cowardice. Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil.

1402 Days Without B III, Day 843 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 148 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes~

WARNING: 18+ For elements of the novel I’m writing. If you don’t know what Bible Black is, I’d advise you to go no further. Me, on the other hand… I can do worse. But it’s in the name of providing for my boys. My family… Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Meditation 148 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But boys will be boys… When it comes to Braxton… What Makes A Good Man?

I do! Braxton is a good man. And even Virgil, who was busy crying today, is a better man than me. I hope it was because he was scared of a lizard. Hell! I was terrified, but I protected my son. But how do I protect you and ours from…

Chapter Seventeen: What Goes In Her Body?
Antonio watches as Sofía is violated before taking his revenge and violating Sofía himself. Before Cherry murders him.

  1. From Antonio’s POV. Begin in a mockup of a hospital room. Sofía, in a hospital gown, is forced into sex with three fake doctors.
  2. Antonio, dressed as a patient, watches, remarking on the doctors’ brutality with Sofía. Antonio thinks about how he’s taken William’s place masturbating to Sofía.
  3. The fake doctors are rewarded by using Sofía multiple times as she attempts to fight them. The men are Richard Thornfield’s most loyal bodyguards.
  4. The doctors orgasm multiple times with Sofía. As they finally stop to rest. Antonio orgasms by himself before reaching for the shotgun Cherry bought.
  5. Before the doctors can react, Antonio shoots all three of them and walks over to Sofía. Antonio says no other man will touch her.
  6. Sofía realizes that Antonio is the stalker she was protected from. Sofía blames Antonio for being sexually trafficked since taking Richard Thornfield’s Max-Mart job.
  7. Antonio has sex with Sofía as he admits that all he wanted to do was be with her after all this time. His obsession.
  8. The sex becomes more brutal as Antonio begins to flashback to the first time he saw Sofía. He recounts the times their paths crossed.
  9. Antonio finishes and lies beside Sofía, who is too weak to move after the multiple violations. Sofía begins begging for everything to be over.
  10. Antonio says he can never forgive her, Richard Thornfield, William, or himself. But that Cherry allowed him to have her and see her last.
  11. Antonio uses Sofía’s mouth to pleasure himself and have one more release orgasming on her face. Antonio then pulls a knife to kill Sofía.
  12. Sofía struggles against Antonio’s strength. Before Antonio can stab Sofía, he is shot multiple times by Cherry. Antonio dies watching Cherry rescue Sofía leaving.

I’m a terrible man… sick writer. I’ve no right to mention Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes.

1395 Days Without B III, Day 836 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

There’s “Stuff & Thangs” I find. Fantasies, Actress names, reasons to cry, complain, or lose cash. But 400 words daily, 146,000 yearly, with 1,168,000 in 8 years. Was one Emergency, Escape, Exit, or Love? “Trump is coming…” “Virgil, We’ll B Leaving.”

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering. But the thought of leaving, the uncertainty, and the changes we may face, it’s a lot to bear. And the color blue is a reminder of my…

Balls? Bollocks? I should work on my UK English, considering that with each passing day, the defeat, the ending, and the finale of this grand experiment known as the United States of America draws nigh. For the record, today is Sunday, November 10, 2024. Am I still getting ready for the workday? I should be preparing to move us, love.

When the state of our country does not consume me, I find myself still mourning for my lost boy, Braxton. He was my firstborn, my strength during the first Trump Presidency. Virgil, “our” son, doesn’t have that same resilience. But as a father, I have to protect my family, not vice versa. This truth weighs heavily on me as I prepare for these uncertain times. Every single day… The sickness…

You want sickness. You haven’t even gotten to Tuesday, November 12, 2024, when I showed TeamSkeet Bipartisan B****e starring Melody Parker. That was the tip of the iceberg… My mind…

Businesswise, I’ve gone from what I spoke of last week… Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. There’s been the Midnight Sleazy Train Series. Characters such as Asuka Langley Soryu, Jessie Rasberry, and Jessie from TR. Yuffie Kisaragi has made an appearance. I just saw “Karen” again today, which is vintage anime. Keraku-no-Oh – King of Pleasure. And all that so I can finish my novel for NaNoWriMo. And even with all our money, we need even more. You know the man you married, my love. I mean…

Yasmina Khan and Jewel Staite are on the “reality” side. Even Cherry’s massive melons. Woo!

I say all of this, and why, my love? Because even with who I am and what I do, I respect women. Your body, your choice. But have you heard them since the election? Madness.

It’s madness that a black person’s life can be snuffed out. Speaking of the wrongness…

Land of the free, home of the brave indeed. “A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace For every one of us,” as the song goes. What about a nation? Somewhere…

“We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.” I have more faith in my furry son’s spirit and/or energy. And the love you and I have, rather than the power that will descend January. Should we go? Virgil, We’ll B Leaving

1388 Days Without B III, Day 829 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

The day will come when you’ll never find me on my knees again, not for a job, a joke, the jerks of the world, etc. I was able to tell “God” no, so why can’t I tell everyone else and at the same time, the things I WANT to do. “Willy On A Prayer.”

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it’s not because God granted it. There was a time I would have sold my soul to Satan if it could be done. You know I’m sick of relying on my parents, scared of my profession, and with “my” people? Yeah, I know I haven’t said much of anything when it comes to the plight, protest, or pandemic. Today should be “happy,” at least for my penis. Of course, I’m writing to you from the past (Sunday 31th). You want me to show gratitude… by the time you’re reading this, the week’s almost up.

Excuse me, Dirty Diana, for exercising some WRITE privilege. Yeah, not funny, but can we get to the sexy. I expect that’s how photographers are when it comes to their models. Do I have the balls to post than NO BOZONGAS picture? Forgiveness over permission. However, I’m no cameraman yet. No, I’m a Dominant, and that means I don’t have to ask for a fucking thing, doesn’t it? Though at this one moment, it would be for self-control. The stress is getting to me, and the week hasn’t begun, again it’s Sunday but too much. I’m asking Father Time for more time in a variety of ways. A former boss asked, why don’t I just quit. Because I talked to Inspector Echo today too and I’m busy chasing the money. Yet I won’t ask God to make a way, down on my knees. Of course, I enjoy others doing so.

Daddy, Master, Sir, the sounds of a young girl um a young woman on her knees begging. Honestly, though, I like the sound of my name; big surprise, I know. Why do you think women charge so much for that? I’m trying not to think about it with other events. After reading The Five by Lily White, I got into Reverse Cowgirl and a girl calling me Daddy. There was also that guy on Paranoia Agent, and do I need to mention other “gentlemen?” Shusaku and Isaku, ah my Hentai past. My favorite positions for girls, though, are Cowgirl and Doggystyle. Yeah, I’m not too keen on Missionary. Always though to have a girl, a queen, an angel, a goddess brought down to her knees. There’s nothing like it, DROOLS.

I’ve been on my knees enough to everybody else Dirty Diana, Willy On A Prayer.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

I’m a simple kinda man but maybe not as the song goes, because do you know what I want more than bucks, bullion, and bottled water though that might be making a come back if things get better. “Breast To Come Will.”

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m paying for anyone’s boob job. Not even Dennis Hof was that generous. As much as I respect the man, I don’t know whether to believe him or Cami Parker, but I’m not giving a book review. Well, maybe a bit on Succubus Lord but not really. You see, I’m one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I can’t tell you why I’m into brunettes or the baby doll look of “The Innocence Of Youth,” “Daddy’s Little Doll.” There’s something about BREASTS.

Well more the lack of Tits, Jugs, Knockers. Cans, Dirty Mom Tits, etc. Only this morning, I was bringing up girls with zero to minor boobs. Isn’t it ironic that a girl with huge melons makes me dream of girls with none? Don’t ask me what it is. I mean simply put I’ve always liked Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen’s bodies. Remind me, with all my billions to take a trip to Russia. I hate Trump, know nothing about Putin, but I love Yabbos of all shapes and sizes. My son is the same way, four legs and all. I even had to have a talk with him. To keep him off Indiana Gone’s pair at one point. I miss Karlee Grey’s as well. Though being honest, I let my Onlyfans lapse without a second thought. It’s the breasts I almost see or never; I miss the most. Cherry can tell you something about that.

Is that why I’m all into Call me a Legend. I know Dirty Diana. I’m still playing that knowing I’ll never see tits, virtual or otherwise still. It’s like a nicotine patch for smokers. The game gives me something else to do besides salivate. You don’t know how HARD it is to write about one of my favorite subjects in the world. Something so soft and then when you get to have fun with them. Anyway, as the song goes ahem, Diamonds and guns, DIAMONDS And GUNS as Call me a Legend has plenty of.

Only you know I’ll never quit huge Dirty Pillows. Yes, I want to fuck Carrie too, Chloë Grace Moretz edition. Her’s aren’t huge, but Boobalicious/Milk Junkie, whoa Mama. Here I thought I’d mention more Succubus Lord. Succubi, Superbia, Libidine, and Cupiditas. Boobies everywhere Dirty Diana the Breast To Come Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

As Aerosmith once put it, “Love in an Elevator,” now that’s something to put on a “certain” list though I’m sure my collection has a few examples of it. If I want it to happen, though, I should get a few other things up first. “The Way Up Will.”

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even more if I start thinking with the big head instead of the little one. Well, I’m here, aren’t I? It’s Sunday, and I’ve traveled four days into the future. Yes, I hate the Day Job, my dick is up more often than me, but damn there’s always boobs.

Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, what I would give to be so creative, to touch, to feel. No Dirty Diana, the name of the game these days is profit. Hell, I’ve been all over Onlyfans these days, but I only talk to boobs I “know.” I’m still on the concept that a woman has to aim higher with me. My brain, the beat of my heart, someone who makes me want to surrender my bucks. Speaking of which, if I wasn’t so busy trying to sell books, I would want to review hentai. Wasn’t I talking about going all body-wise myself when it came to Onlyfans last week? The things a lack of Fapping leads to, but again being Sunday, I’m still going strong at eleven days. I didn’t even break out my Fleshlight yesterday. You know I get all into sex toys and “stranger” fetishes of mine.

Now I don’t mean the “Boobless Wonder” Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa or Rebecca from MarvelCharm. It doesn’t bother me at all, only you know that I can name other models, of course. I’ve even gone back to MILF Dos a time or two, and you know she has an impressive set. She’s a good girl, a good woman I should say and wasn’t I talking about holy women and kimonos last week. So what gets me higher than that Dirty Diana or more to the point who. The mind reels.

Some time ago it was trains and buses and now Love in an Elevator. Kininaru Kimochi 1-3 but the fourth one? I guess someone got bored, but I will never get tired of TITS. I could sit here today for hours telling you every single movie. From “Debbie Does Dallas” to the Discipline series. Using sex to make money is not a hard concept… okay, I did not just say that Dirty Diana. My point is even Think and Grow Rich, talks about harnessing the sex instinct. On top of doing what you love, motivations.

So where am I going, what’s The Way Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

As the “Fresh Prince” once said, “Hurt Me, Hurt Me,” though I’m more a sadist, to be honest, it’s just the way I get all “warm and tingly,” or how I’m buying my ticket to Hell perhaps. Howling, Hot Here’s Willy

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Log 318 ~Howling, Hot Here’s Willy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must be a HOT commodity. Again this is going to be one of those conversations. Brought to you by the letter H. I will also yet again blame Girlfriend Reviews. Should Your Boyfriend Play Nier: Automata? Yeah, seeing as I feel some kind of way towards 2B and Commander White. Not that I have much time to play video games, and I’m on day six of NO FAP. Which leads me into today and what is getting me hot, besides liking alliteration.

HUMILIATION, how many times must we talk about it? I don’t know as long as I like the real stories from some women. You know the language that I always prefer the whole word “Whore” in comparison to “HO.” Loving the way a girl moans and groans it, her cries. HOWLING, and no, I don’t mean like a wolf. For a man like me who enjoys getting his cock sucked, I like loud girls. No, not that kind of loud if you know what I mean. Bedroom noise, not waste my time gibberish. For a girl to choose you, over-breathing, blowjobs, or my name. HOLY, a divine experience. I do enjoy good girls, no doubt, and between maids and nuns. For some reason, I’ve gotten it into my head that kimonos are holy, but I know they were usual. Between Kurenai, Fuu, this Mob/Mafia game I played on Facebook, and others well cue Homer Drool.

HEAVY, not in the slightest, but what about the likes of Momokun who showed off her ta-tas? I won’t lie, I’m still hoping to see Cherry’s, but I haven’t asked in quite a while. As skinny as I am Dirty Diana, where do I get off? On BBWs, but not today, keep it in my pants. HOPING though to be a father someday. Is pregnancy sexy? There was this girl I wanted to date that got knocked up. Watching wrestling last night, Becky Lynch, announced she’s pregnant. In The Eve of a Cherry, one of my characters was expecting. Beautiful MILFS. HOT yet, Dirty Diana? Time marches on, and the things that get me going damn me to Hell ever more so. I was at the Day Job, and my temperature climbed; I’m not sick.

Well, at least not with the Coronavirus but my pending desires, Howling, Hot Here’s Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 241 ~Call Him Iron Will~

I’m no blacksmith, do they even call it that anymore, the only metals I’m concerned with these days besides My Dæmon’s collar ring is the nickels and dimes I have and what do I usually spend those on, it’s hard not to. “Call Him Iron Will.”

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Log 241 ~Call Him Iron Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you know why? Bucks, Broads, Bullets, and dare I say Biology. I am not my “Father” I don’t beat women or small furry kids. Okay, yes, I hit my sister, it’s called having a sibling. My Dæmon did see the business end of a rolled-up newspaper, but I never kicked him at the door. Okay, before I sound any more like the dude from “The Room,” this leaves Bucks and Broads. I’ve never seen people harder than when they’re defending their money and the desire for more. Men are supposed to be hard for any number of reasons. You know me, though; I’m usually talking about my penis.

It’s Day Two of NO FAP; of course, the goal is seven days like I’m a damn drug addict. If I didn’t mention it before, Sunday night, it was Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa Angel. There was also the woman in the red dress; no, not that one. At least she knows a guy FAPS to her, which isn’t a compliment? I’m trying Dirty Diana, hell I’m listening to The Gargoyle and that’s told from a narrator that has no dick. I’m even going to reread it, so ask me why I’m looking up Audible books from the Erotica genre. Why am I going to cut our conversation short tonight so I can work on a snippet of Apocalypse Rush? If I’m not “holding on” to my “Iron Will,” I need something else, anything else. I hate being gross, hell, if I wanted an excuse to keep my head up, it’s feet. Now that is a fetish, and I’ll never understand, not judging. Fuck Me Pumps, Boots, Frilly Socks, yes please but bare feet Hell No.

No, I didn’t forget about black pantyhose and thigh high stockings now that’s a dangerous road. Okay, speaking of which, I haven’t been playing any games (DAMN DEN HUMMING). I’ve been watching play-throughs. You remember Detroit: Become Human and the Eden Club. Sexbots, sexbots, do you want me to break out Tom Jones’s “Sex Bomb.” Anyway, the Internet being what it is talked about sex dolls and talk about something hard to get around. Real Dolls and Piper Dolls. One more thing to add to my empire when I buy my first brothel, an idea.

Like calling myself Willie Long Stroke; Call Him Iron Will.

I Will Have No Fear