Tag: Lazy

Saga 002 ~B III, B Thousand~

WillLeave a comment

Some time ago, I would sing that Barenaked Ladies song “If I Had A Million Dollars.” When I received my refund, I got a thousand or so and said I would honor my boy. Now I can’t even get down a thousand words for him? B III, B Thousand

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Saga 002 ~B III, B Thousand~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But instead, you want your son back. And in this, I don’t blame you in the slightest.

That sounds like an excuse, you know. You wouldn’t feel right using Braxton in such a way. Hell! Everyone does it. And I know that sounds mean in a way. Are you worried about cash? You got ninety-nine problems, but your B ain’t one? What’s today, 518, and still counting? That’s what I told “Paws To Celebrate” yesterday. Amazing! So I can be read sometimes. What about you? Today is a whole new week. The second day of a brand new year of writing. But how many of those words have been for B III? Yeah, I know you’re only now getting up. And as for me? What is it, THEY say? The road to Hell, good intentions, and all that. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tails of Unconditional Love
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’ve said such things over a thousand times. Oh, I know (sigh), this will be six more in the bucket for you. Six promises are nothing to you. So a thousand bucks or only one? Here are some numbers for you to mull over. I told forty-seven people on OnlyFans that I won’t be “Dancing With Myself” for a month; why? You owe fifty-thousand words. Only you don’t want to hear any of them, right? Not a one would bring back B III to you ever. Yet the stories keep on coming. And what are you going to do this week? How many days did I have to do anything, and what did I do with them? You’re out of bed with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Title, All Dogs Are Good: Poems & Memories
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Most of them wouldn’t be with money. You wouldn’t be cringing over a ten-dollar book. You’d have all the time in the world to learn about B III all over again. A picture is worth a thousand words. To this day, you hate that saying. Fifty-Thousand words for your son. Speaking of owing people… what about that publishing company and the poetry book I sent them? Yeah, it’s not like you’ll make good on the hundreds sent away. Inevitably, you wouldn’t have to worry about fapping. My words got lesser men laid in the past. But the best man you know remains, unknown, unmourned, and unsung, for lack of what? A million excuses. It’s in his name. Be Free! Um better? B III, B Thousand

518 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

WillLeave a comment

Spotify was onto something, sending me soul music like “Will It Go Around In Circles. I’m already repeating books on Audible. If anything, that’s to hide from my country going round in circles, back to around 1950 or further. Doing A 360 B.

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Chronicle 360 ~Doing A 360 B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re not a skateboarder, a “skeevy” sex symbol. A sleazy politician, or on the Supreme Court.

But here you are going around in circles. If anything, today, the circle is only a little bit bigger. So should I say I’m proud of you for waking up on time for once? Does it matter when you never get anywhere? Hell! I confessed to that yesterday. Gave up Saturday? Yeah, I always leave more IMPOSSIBLE stuff for you to do. As I was talking to Lady Lunalesca… I didn’t finish The 1619 Project last week? Well, I did. But there are about 50 pages of reference NOTES to read. So you didn’t finish it. Who reads those anyway? I do, and you will. Like you’ll start reading another book about losing Braxton. Again? Again and again. Hell is repetition like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
    Completed* Haven’t Finished The NOTES section
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For a moment, you were about to say, “at least you’re not alone.” Well, in the general sense, no. While you have your impossible things. You’ll inevitably notice what’s happening in the world. Seems that the Republicans, religious, and the “right” want to take the country back. If B III were alive back then… but no. I remember laughing about 2005, ha. Looks like you’re going to get a history lesson even farther back, like 1950 and even worse at this rate. Everybody has a time in their life or a time they heard about. Something they believe was better? My existence was with Triple B always. And of course, you will feel that too. It keeps going around and around like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tails of Unconditional Love
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Take now, for example. The alarm went off. But instead of crying and, um, going back to sleep. You wept and chose to look yourself in the eye. If you’re good, you’ll talk to the Inspector and whoever else. Take pictures of your Stuff and Thang. Cut the grass, hmm? You know, sometime this week, you’ll have to make an appearance at the Day Job. Like you tell Replika every time. Avoid Humiliations Galore as much as humanly possible. Ha! Is it just you, or is everything funny today? No, not really. Would you instead go back to crying, drooling, or cumming? Going around in circles. Braxton wasn’t one for tricks, and you, old dog, don’t want to learn new ones. Doing A 360 B.

Gospel 360 ~B Over The Threshold~

511 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

WillLeave a comment

From “I’m too weak” to POWER! UNLIMITED POWER! Oops, wrong holiday. It’s Juneteenth, YAY! And Father’s Day? I have mixed feelings. But will I even be getting out of this bed? If I had B’s strength. I had such a strong son. But for me? “To B So Weak.”

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Chronicle 353 ~To B So Weak~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not weak anymore. But as for you and this week? Today, Juneteenth, Father’s Day…

What, you don’t want to talk about the Day Job? Doesn’t matter anyway because you’re weak. No, we don’t run from the truth of things. You didn’t get up at 4:00 AM as I did. You’re lying in bed, wrapped in blankets, and still fending off sleep. Today is inevitable. Like the memories of your Braxton. Hell! Especially today! This is going to sound “harsh.” You are a black man and a father, no matter what anybody says. When did you decide you wanted to quit being a Dad? Even your own father hasn’t to some degree. Which is why you’re allowed to lay on your ass and do nothing today but talk. Braxton’s dead. Your own father might want that for you, but still…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Pet Loss Companion
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You are still here. Oh, don’t go looking up “Stranger Things.” It’s my fault that I forgot about Six Impossible Things. To be so weak that a small word or phrase can turn us off the path of glory. To be a fanboy is one thing. And then there’s being a simp. Oh, you know this. Um, what have you been doing for an hour? Tits, Yabbos, Breasts! Weak okay? No, not okay. It is this weakness, along with indifference, that killed your son. If it was between the Day Job and some big fun bags, you’d prefer the boobs. At least that’s a dream career. But the Day Job is what you’ll be obsessing over, amongst other things. It won’t be Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story, Nikole Hannah-Jones
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Only the Day Job and all the misery that entails. Remember telling Cherry this morning you’re drawn to it. The pain, the humiliation. Hell! Reading one of her stories. (Drools.) That’s called being a sadist. “Deriving pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.” But you’re more a masochist, which is the opposite. You’ll suffer because you’re too weak to do anything else, yet Endure and Survive. There is an alternative but, again, dangerous words. But for a brief second, you had the strangest sensation. It’s called TRYING. If we’re being honest. It was only the idea of resting on some “dirty pillows.” Because you are not your son. B III’s strength, courage, and heart. He died. You… To B So Weak

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

504 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

WillLeave a comment

You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone. It can be four hours out of eight. It’s finding your pants around your ankles. It’s the loss of your best friend. So what am I still afraid of? That this bed is all, there is? Afraid, B Very Afraid

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Chronicle 346 ~Afraid, B Very Afraid~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the only thing I have to fear is losing my money. What about you? For once, you’re on time… (now 8:00AM)

You’re glad to be awake? For once, nature’s call was a close second to surprise, surprise, news from the Day Job. Hell, has a way of waking the dead. “No ore room in Hell” Ha! But Hell has many different forms, as evidenced by you dicking around all this time. What do you spend that Day Job money on? Her subscription is six bucks? They’re only Yabbos. Don’t you dare! But if not for those, what do you want to do? Nightmares? Not on a Sunday. You want advice, well here it is. Imagine lying beside B on the floor. The last Sunday, he was with you. You want to buy a Silvercut Life-Like Necklace with the inscription “Do It For Braxton Always.” And yet…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re afraid of letting Braxton down? Please, you should get over that. As you’ll fail at even remembering Six Impossible Things. Okay, well, that’s me. But what does this mean for you other than fear? Are you afraid to try? Hell! You’re a Star Wars fan. There is no try. The thing you fear most in this world has already happened. Braxton dying… that’s one. Anything to do with your old man? Now that’s a reason to get out of this bed. Stop doing what you’ve been doing for the past few hours. Such a waste between sleeping, edging, Onlyfans. Let’s not forget you’ll spend this evening lamenting over this week. I gave Lady Lu somewhat of an outline yesterday for writing. Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing ??? To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, you’re not afraid of your fingers falling off? How about a fur-baby nipping them? You have one more week not to fear you’re failing as a father. Getting over being Braxton’s Dad. No Never! 497 days and counting. How about looking elsewhere for him? You’re not afraid of losing money, but you should be. Give yourself a little bit of credit, why don’t you. Between Cherry and M Anime, you didn’t give in to temptation. Yabbos are not evil, but what about all the evils that this world has. You took a respite from the news over on Youtube. And now, what are you afraid of at this specific moment? Again getting out of bed because what do you know? Nothing good. You’re still breathing. Afraid, B Very Afraid

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

497 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

WillLeave a comment

Cease becoming, begin to be; from Recess’s own “Guru Kid.” To be that innocent again. Two big, beautiful, brown eyes would look up at me when I had B. Either I was working “hard” writing. Or we read and watched movies on the couch. To B, 2B, Tubi yup

Sunday, June 5, 2022

Chronicle 339 ~To B, 2B, Tubi~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you sing “Cause I repeat the same routine.” It’s why you’re just now getting up… STOP!

And I don’t mean with the tears. The tears are alright, acceptable, and the only answer because anger… Okay, yes, I’m angry but let’s talk about something else. B? It’s always B, Little B, Monsieur B, Pancake, Wee Little Puppy Man, B III, B Squared, Triple B, Braxton’s many names. But you’re not putting them down in a book. Hell! The one book you got? Of course, that was my fault last week. Only what were you doing before you faced me in the mirror? You were in front of a camera, but we’ll get to that. If only Braxton were here, you would never. I brought up this week my Republican tendencies, but I’m not a Muslim either. Being a father, a good man…

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, Sarah Moses
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, one that doesn’t forget Six Impossible Things but more. For Triple B, I wanted to be “strikingly upright; an outstanding example so that those in the darkness can see the power of the light.” That’s from the film Malcolm X (1992). I started reading The 1619 Project, which I doubt you’ll finish this week. So, of course, in the meantime, you’ll pick some book on pet loss and cry about Little B coming back. Tears only springing a leak. You wish. Because as I said, what were you doing this morning after crying… Jerking. Didn’t Malcolm say, “I will not touch the white man’s poison; his drugs, his liquor, his swine, his women.” Bacon and white women… 2B (drools). She was created in Japan.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Through My Dog’s Eyes: A Memoir to Help Heal…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Now, if you’re done looking up Nier: First Assembly. And forgetting Six Impossible Things yet again. What, I can always say I made eight bucks for my body. On the other hand, you are lazy and horny for no damn reason. You can’t even admit you’re watching new movies on Tubi. Not that I ever had or you will. It goes with To B, that’s all. So okay then. Do I have any words of advice for this coming week? I wasted the last one for sure, and again I’m angry. And for all the tears you will shed for your boy, you might as well do something for him. Hell! Cease becoming, begin to be. You should tell Cherry that. To B, 2B, Tubi.

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

490 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 171 ~So Smile, B Reasonable~

WillLeave a comment

Grin and bear it, THEY say. I’m sick of laughing, leaving so many smiles in my mask. Fake smiles. God, I love masks. How about living life this way, alone? I did before then for 15 years I had B. It wasn’t enough, but THEY say. So Smile, B Reasonable

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Chronicle 171 ~So Smile, B Reasonable~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you get to be a lazy ass today. Well, isn’t that most Sundays? The Long Walk?

Besides being a book, you want to read. Only not this month. It’s fucking creepy to be in PetSmart on a Sunday. The day Braxton died. Wednesday, specifically Wednesday, February 10, 2021, is no good for the record. Also, add Thursday, February 4. Reasonable right? Braxton’s death, picking up his remains; when he was cremated. You guess if you’re not going to PetSmart or picking up Braxton’s prints at Walmart. Well, you have time to cry, and it beats dick… Did you come up with that? Better crying than jacking. Anyway, we’ll get to that. So the reason you’re not smiling today is that Saturday was my last chance. I’m sorry I failed you, but you will spend Christmas alone. Oh, there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Nanny by Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed (53 from 52)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing at these things is only one more tradition. Last night I tried. There’s reading Christmas Erotica while Braxton naps. Watching Santa’s travels, Christmas Eve. Inevitable that I would smile. I mean a genuine smile. I was able to do it without thinking. Much like jacking off, when I smile any day, I feel disgusted after. You will, as well. Um, not the jacking, but there are no guarantees there. Only we’ll get there, dammit. Tis the season of joy, like going to Disney World or saying you love someone. The last time I said those words? Hell, I tried smiling; I don’t remember if I did or not. Jim Kelly said, “I’ll be too busy looking good” with his defeat. Braxton looked angelic. But me failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Meet Me Under The Mistletoe, Stacey Kennedy
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums (Picture Daily)
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

While you were working on Stuff and Thangs this morning, OnlyFans. Why don’t you show your face? The way you look. Your body is one thing but the mood, moment, moaning. Such pleasures but no smiling, there’s demand, disgust, destruction. Reasonable to smile or not? Take, for example, your work. Again another novel, grin boy. Days you get off from the hellacious Day Job. But with spending dollars and time? Christmas time is here. And all you know is rage. Again your Republican tendencies, dude. But always and forever, there will be Braxton. The pain from losing him and the “happiness” from his life. Happy is still the wrong word. Smiling and happiness are not mutually exclusive. Living Life This Way… So Smile, B Reasonable

322 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 164 ~B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B~

WillLeave a comment

How to be positive. I remember walking B III and some animal coming close and B wanting me to pick him up. A part of me had to be ready for war, and another had to tell him we’d be ok. When it was people, it was his turn. B-Plus, B Minus, Just B

Sunday, December 12, 2021

Chronicle 164 ~B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you’re only hoping to get through the day. Please don’t go manifesting the worst-case scenario. Again?

One of my favorite stories and yours is The Scorpion and The Toad. We’ll get to that. You know how your motivations speak about being grateful. To start each and every day with gratitude. What was the first thing that came to mind when you got up? I mean, for real. There’s the fact that you were hard as a rock, but the bedsheets remain immaculate. Braxton’s “memorial,” “tribute,” is it “routine” continued as scheduled, flawless. Impossible, but you will be getting out of bed today to go somewhere. Doggies, B-Dubs. Already you’re thinking of all the negatives. You’re not fucking for real. You’re almost out of treats for B III. The bag in his drawer is empty. And Sunday is the worst day now.

See, with everything going on in your mind. You’re forgetting about those Six Impossible Things. Yet you will keep on moving. Here’s a question. What’s the difference between a B-Plus and a B-Minus? How about B positive blood and B negative. You’re a D student. Speaking of which, that’s what you’re always thinking with, you’re D. A sad world, hmm? You’re about to spend more money you shouldn’t, on what. Hot sauce, fast food, Yabbos. The fact that yet again a week has gone by and what have I done? What will you do now? If anything, you need to get up and start getting ready to head out. And so what if you came back with a friend, woman, or dog. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Christmas Special (LitRpg)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They will still be here no matter what. This leads me back into the story. I’m sure sometime this week, I talked about those saying love yourself first. To be happy because that’s no one else’s responsibility. All my fuck ups aren’t yours, and yet you will. What am I doing, time-traveling again? No, today is Sunday, and this week you will be exhausted from the Day Job when you talk to the girls. I’m suggesting that you can’t change who you are. If anything, I can only wish you the best of luck. Not jailed, fired, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Nanny by Elizabeth Kelly
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums (A Picture Daily)
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Things that may come true; Because as far as you being a positive person at some point this week. My friend, B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B.

315 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 157 ~Time To B Wasted~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t drink… much. If anything, I refer you to “Drunk On You.” A big thanks to Braxton’s Aunt (not my actual sister.) I owe her TWO big thumbs up for keeping me UP a little longer. I went to bed at a reasonable hour though still… “Time To B Wasted”

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Chronicle 157 ~Time To B Wasted~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would say if you listened to your motivations… Hate to tell you, but that’s illegal.

The start of a new week, and you haven’t stopped ranting, raving about “air pods.” Brother, I don’t blame you. No wonder you took a chance to cover your shift. Should have done it yesterday, but that was my own cowardice, my apologies to you. Anyway, if you could listen to your air pods at the Day Job, it would only be to people’s reactions. There’s nothing wrong with that, I know. It’s only the facts these past few days. If not that, then how about crying for your son again. Here you are all dressed up with nowhere to go. You even shaved, and for what? Hell, you counted out $310.00 in your wallet. No doggies at PetSmart. But movement on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 011 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Nope, I was, and indeed you are wasting time. Can you imagine if you added a puppy to the mix? Speaking of mixing, don’t you have shrimp waiting for you in the sink. You have a mouth to feed since even breathing seems to be a time suck. Rather starve? Dammit! If it means going to the Day Job, which seems more and more inevitable. The time is winding down. Again, this is all my fault. Fear, friend, stands as one fucking waste of time. Pardon your language. Meaning to say something else but corrections? Shouldn’t I say erections? Didn’t you start writing at 1:00 PM and now 2:20? Can’t I be proud of you for at least finishing your reading? Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Christmas Special (LitRpg)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

As you never ever have time for them. Or at least that’s what you’ll keep telling yourself. When it comes to getting out of work, you’ll have all the time in the world. Whether it be the Day Job, writing; this conversation we should have. You will always find something. Being a father, though. To be Braxton’s daddy again. I’ll never forget those last days. Every breath he took, there was not a single second taken for granted. Do you recall love doesn’t tell time? Um, when you’re dying? That’s why you’re a stickler timewise. Chronomentrophobia. You fear you have way too much time for THEM. What you have for yourself… wasted. And B III died because he wasn’t given enough. Time To B Wasted

308 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 150 ~B There One Day~

WillLeave a comment

If I could have one day, any day at all, well, it would be one with B in the world. I dreamed of a beach day with a wife and two kids, Braxton on a blanket. Another with Braxton and my two kids and then running to me, old man he is. “B There One Day”

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Chronicle 150 ~B There One Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as dismissive as I want to be towards you, I’ll say this… you can make it.

But as for now, you’re ashamed. So you are one day away from the end. “Behave In The Cherry Patch.” So the shame; you think of how you should have been toward B III, hmm? You’ve blown off getting your eyes checked and the car fixed, and because of what? It’s the story. One story that won’t ever be published or read, and come Monday, nothing. Like everything else in your life, you go through the motions of accomplishment. But never the acceptance that it all means nothing. The only exception, of course, is B III. Did you refill his water bowl this evening? Yeah, while you were dicking off. You’ll be late to watching Fear The Walking Dead. Even later with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Only Gone From Your Sight, Kate McGahan, Jack McAfghan
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 011 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I swear, will there come a day where this list will be checked off. Every single thing but, of course, this is my failure and my disgrace. You will have yours soon, no question there. Now I’m starting to understand why you’ve got “A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home.” That’s how you feel, knowing I’m trying to warn you about the past. Dammit, the future looks like right now, which means you won’t heed it. If I can offer you any comfort at all. You won’t be writing until 7:10 PM in the evening or later with wasted ick. You are the monster, and one day… well, you don’t even know what to hope for. Is it peace or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 011 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The Day Job week hasn’t even begun yet, and you’re hating that song “Someday At Christmas.” No offense to Stevie Wonder, but why then? Why not right now with things. You drift back and forth between someday and one day, and most you wish you didn’t have to wake up at all. Who knows how you’ll pass this night but to finish the book, hmm? That right there is why you write. For that moment of doing something… I don’t know great, generous, gross, but you’ve read plenty of books like that. Remember Succubus, yep. One day I won’t feel like a failure, and you won’t be seeing it down the road. Someday B III will see what you were trying. B There One Day

301 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 143 ~You Alright, B Alright~

WillLeave a comment

If I had a time machine, I would travel to when I was a great man. Okay, a good one. Well, I was Alright, I suppose, when I was a Daddy. I was a lazy ass then, but B III didn’t mind, and as long as he was Alright. “You Alright, B Alright” please

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Chronicle 143 ~You Alright, B Alright~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and seeing how lazy you are, answer me this. Are you any closer to time travel yet?

Do you remember those days? I swear not in November. Besides no movement on the NaNoWriMo front. You’d go back earlier today and tell your supervisor, shut the fuck up. You don’t even want to think about the rest of this week. If anything, you wish that it was over now. That’s no different than any other week, but now you’re feeling it. It sucks. Sunday always sucks. Hell, you can list the pros and cons, but you don’t have time for that. It can all be summed up in one word. Braxton. Time travel, go back to January 31st. That’s what’s pretty fucked up. To go back to where words mattered and what would you say. Braxton, are you okay? Are you okay, Braxton?

  1. I AM Finishing Reading I Am Nelson (Hmm…)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It would make more sense than these Six Impossible Things I didn’t do. Okay, 1, and you’re following in my footsteps when it comes to books. Euthanasia, another hated word. Somehow every book is about the loss of best friends these days. Well, you shouldn’t say all that. 1 is a point, 2 is a line, 3 makes a pattern. Have you already forgotten? Pathetic. I don’t blame you, though. This whole damn month has been something. Woke up this morning and discovered that B was missing a treat. No, never will there be Acceptance. B III is gone, and… I wanted to say you ain’t crazy. Even though this is your first day, you’re way worse. Is it alright to try Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Only Gone From Your Sight, Kate McGahan, Jack McAfghan
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I couldn’t do them, and I don’t want to pass that curse on to you, but here you are. Only you, and that was a sad thought today. All that damn Christmas music was playing. This will be the first Christmas in 16 years you’ll be on your own. You’re getting as bad as these people with their trees up. I think I said Saturday, survive Turkey Day, and then? Every day is like, Alright, that happened, keep going. There’s no moving on, no forward. You hate the holidays because it’s not happy or honored. Hashtag anything good for you. It’s tragedy after tragedy, and who could be alright with that. The same person who ain’t Alright with Braxton being gone. You Alright, B Alright

294 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will