Tag: Memories

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

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I’m on a roll… At least when it comes to “my” depression. My flat behind sitting in bed. Then, the car, going to places I would rather not be. Like somebody’s waiting room. Waiting to lose more cash. Well, it isn’t my son. Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

Saturday, September 30, 2023

Tale 091 ~Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I still wouldn’t go anywhere. What a way to be positive! Hmm? No, NOT TODAY.

To keep things in perspective, It’s not like I’m going to lose Triple B Lady Lunalesca. Sunday, January 31, 2021, continues reigning as the worst car ride. Hell! I’m sure Braxton suspected that one day he’d get in the car and never see HOME again. And here we are, 972 Days in. Oh, B’s still with me everywhere I go. Heart, head, hanging around my neck. As people wear a crucifix, I wear my pendant with Braxton’s ashes. Positivity, Ha! Once again, not today. And it’s not like Virgil is getting off light either. Let him howl away. I would rather stay with him than deal with anything out in the world, to be sure. But then how would we eat? How will we, Lunalesca?

I was on a roll after yesterday. I had to time travel through an entire week. Short of talking to you again. What a way to start the week after E-Day month. As the song goes, “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” It’s more like, “So wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser, and I’m older.” It has yet to happen. Luna, time keeps rolling along. As I hope the car does. Long enough to get me to the dealership mechanic. And then what happens? I can see whatever cash I have. Coins rolling away from me. The bank vault wheel closes up on me. Because what business do I have with them anymore? Put on a happy face. I think not

Not when it’s so easy to roll it over into a frown. And speaking of rolling over. If you’re wondering what is taking me so long today to talk to you. Anything to feel good… I’m like a slug, Lady Lunalesca, slithering, slobbering, but I have not yet slimed… Eww. Being on my belly or going to fetch some lube. Wouldn’t that require some legwork? Lunalesca, did I say that out loud? Am I finding reasons to miss the car, the inspiration I need to pay for it today? Sigh…

In August, it was the fence. It’s still broken. This month, it was me. And I’m wrecked. To say the least. Facing October, it’s the car. “Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.” Let’s Roll Braxton… Virgil.

972 Days Without B III, Day 413 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 088 ~On B…eing Back, Virgil~

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Nothing on my back, holding me back, or pushing me back. If I moved forward on everything like I did… ending B III’s suffering. Hell! I should be on my back for that instead of sitting on my ass. A zombie trying to get back. “On B…eing Back, Virgil.”

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Tale 088 ~On B…eing Back, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… and “I’m never going back again.” To being broke, Inspector. Depends on how you define broke.

I would have paid anything. Hell! I would have gone full-on John Q to save my son’s life, Inspector. Virgil is lucky if I consider buying him a new, comfy spot. I’m broke. Considering it’s Saturday, September 23, 2023, I will be soon. But the Day Job hours… I’ve never blamed anyone for Braxton’s death… besides myself and the Day Job taking me away. I never came back, you know. My Braxton is love, and the Day Job left me nothing but RAGE. And so I would come back exhausted. But not really. In thinking I was protecting my son, I would get stuck in a place known as indifference, dear Echo. And I have yet to come back from Braxton’s Euthanasia. I’m Still Standing

By the time you read this, it will have been 969 days. I could have spent every single one in bed. There were times Triple B was watching me trying to… Well, pills were taken. Only I survived. And if it wasn’t my Depression, it was laziness; nothing new, Inspector. Except the pain got worse. A broken heart, a befuddled mind. And my behind Inspector. Honest to God, that’s how long I’ve been sitting here, Inspector. I lament that one way or another, I will have to break my back, and for what? With B III, it made sense. And yes, Virgil is still here. But I need bug repellent, light bulbs, and new pants. I could go, Inspector. But I don’t want to ever.

Family? You want an honest confession. How long have I been here? My thirties, Inspector. And when was the last time I had RELATIONS? I had the maid in bed once. But that wasn’t the question, and she and I never. Braxton wouldn’t have minded if it had been his aunt. My honorary sister, mind you. But Braxton loves her, and I was shallow Inspector Echo. So I haven’t had RELATIONS in years, for all intents and purposes. There are life goals. Even now, I want to own an adult business, you know. Lying here, Inspector, always. Please! That would require getting off my back. So I can see women on theirs. Inspector, Am I Wrong? Zombie returning to the living? On B…eing Back, Virgil

969 Days Without B III, Day 410 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

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I didn’t know what to tell Braxton while he was dying. And I don’t know what to tell Virgil while he’s living. But they both sat in the same car seat, and I was trying to remember how to breathe. I was broke in more ways than one. Virgil, We Gonna B.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

Tale 084 ~Virgil, We Gonna B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Alright. Why do I tell myself this lie every morning? You don’t have to wake up.

So, is the night worse? Hell! Anytime I get to close my eyes, I consider it a win, Lady Lu. If anything, I need to count “my” blessings. I need to show gratitude this morning. There is money to spend this Saturday… Did I say that out loud for real? I mean, I did buy another audiobook. And since you know Lady Lunalesca, I won’t be finishing “A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel.” Not today anyway, Lunalesca. There’s not a moment that goes by without bad news. I’ve got seven days to finish. Anyway, back to gratitude, AHEM. I’m keeping Imogen Linn in business reading about the Pessumae Christi. I’m learning new words like “Meretrix.” He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. Right…

No wonder Republicans would choose to stay STUPID and angry. And you know me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m always angry… and afraid. But I don’t want to be STUPID. Not ever. But where was I? Oh yeah. Blacked has their merchandise back in stock. What would M Anime think about that? And I’ve been going on for days about character customizations. As if I have time to worry about the book I was writing about Cherry… to a certain degree, Luna. I checked the Day Job schedule. I’m still broke, but with so many hours, Ha. Again, gratitude? How about that the fence hasn’t fallen? But who knows, it’s dark out. Braxton would be going crazy. Lunalesca, did you think I forgot about him? Virgil’s alright.

Oh, he’ll never be my son. That’s pretty harsh. More like both he and I will never be, B III. Did you see what I did there? It wasn’t much of nothing. I’ll never be much of nothing, even after this thirty-ninth “Exist Day.” Before that was M Anime’s thirty-fifth birthday. Yabbos? I meant to use the B-word, but you know how the critic gets. But I’ll always be obsessed with them. And whatever pair I’m blessed with seeing today while out and about, hmm. Broke, even more than now, is something I can expect as well. Shopping, existing, failing. Because B ain’t here. And how are we gonna be alright without my firstborn, Lunalesca? Breathing’s what I do. That’s existence. Virgil, We Gonna B

965 Days Without B III, Day 406 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 081 ~B’s In Art Virgil~

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“The metal is ready for the Maker’s hand.” I am not an artist. I cannot make another Braxton. I’m not helping to make babies. And what about books? Between the tags I’m writing, titles for blog posts, and Titanic… um, never mind. “B’s In Art Virgil.”

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Tale 081 ~B’s In Art Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now… so I’ll commission someone to paint “Backwards Beauty” for real. What do I know about art?

Well, I’m thirty-nine. Wow! Inspector, it hurts about as much as saying Braxton is dead. I go back and forth. But I know that the death of my son is worse. Right behind that is being born. And falling in third, for now… anything to do with my Enormous… umm… Anyway, so art? As I told Dear Future Wife, Braxton is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I may not be a smart man… Go on! But after you see someone like that. Hell! I can’t blame him for not getting back into writing. I wrote three or four books after his death/murder. No wonder I got the damaged or maybe fragile Virgil. I can’t be responsible for destroying anything so beautiful again.

And then bring on The Pic Phenomenon. Did I mention I’m not writing much, Inspector? That’s even when I have “inspiration” for a leading lady. I told one of the girls that these unsavory types don’t want “my” money. I’m not STUPID enough to give them a credit card. But they do allow me to create two pictures a day. Wins and losses, Inspector Echo.

A particular girl would be upset, but I’ve done worse. I was up late last night for several reasons. Not only this one. I was doing business with some more people. And even after buying the product, I haven’t used any of it. You see why I “steal adult entertainment.” Hell! My son’s dead. The freeloader’s here. But yes, Yabbos.

If there is a God… Yeah, the last time I tried talking to him, her, or it, Braxton lay dying. The point is such a force put more thought into Yabbos than my existence. Future? Sacrifice! Most noble if I have anything to say about it. To be made in such an image? “If there’s a God up there. Somethin’ above.” Is he paying Lucifer for temptation or what, huh? I wouldn’t be surprised. But I know what I’d pick if God came down, breast in one hand, Braxton in the other. “Now, with these hands, with these hands,” Inspector. Generating tags every day, what do I ask for? I can’t paint; there’s no prose. And to pet Braxton again… Beautiful, B’s In Art Virgil.

962 Days Without B III, Day 403 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 077 ~A W, V, Braxton~

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When first I saw Virgil, I heard Braxton’s “voice,” saying… I can’t make this more black and white, Dad, pick him up. And he made bosoms look nice the way he would cuddle Carolina’s. And then money or the lack thereof. Don’t I want “A W, V, Braxton?”

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Tale 077 ~A W, V, Braxton~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… sigh, and it’s still not enough. I want it all, and I want it right now.

Stupid, greedy, getting naughty in the dark… I promise you, Lady Lunalesca, I’m not joining the GOP. And yet… Well, I’m mad at what happened at the bank yesterday. Hmm. There are worse things. Braxton is not getting any deader. Wow! That’s pretty harsh. Right? And when’s the last time I heard from Braxton? This morning, I suppose. Sucker Punch. Lunalesca, I mean both the feeling and the song from the movie I Want It All/We Will Rock You Mashup. So what is it my son is trying to tell me, Lunalesca? I don’t know. Thirty-nine years of existence, and I’m still confused as all Hell. Or scared to death. Please! “It’s foolish to ask for luxuries in times like these.” Pop culture’s popping today.

Unlike other things… And Braxton wouldn’t want me that happy, like him with his toys. But in all the things I’ve read and listened to. I swear between Eric Vall’s Harem romances and Imogen Linn’s Erotica. I’m keeping them both in business. There are also vampires. Like I was telling Lady Sophia yesterday. I didn’t have time for that. Winning? Victory? Each book is just that, Lady Lunalesca. Whether I’m reading or writing. There’s no time. Hell! I told B all the time. Once I get this done… What, become a wealthy man? When I have a bunch of women in bed? Let’s have the world wrapped around my finger. But with love, aren’t you already winning? Is that what Braxton is trying to say?

I don’t know if I told you about the two days I had people buy me breakfast and lunch out of the blue. And as much as I hate both the Day Job and E-Day, I got free food, right? And now, yesterday, I see someone left their money in the cash tray at the ATM, and I… don’t take it? Doesn’t money make me happy? Bosoms, Yabbos, Gazongas, Lunalesca. On more than one occasion… Braxton found his happiness cuddling with hers during movies. Sigh. Only I’m never happy. I couldn’t tell you what I am today, Lunalesca, besides exhausted. Only those fur baby books tell me our children would want us to be happy, to get those wins and victories. A W, V, Braxton

958 Days Without B III, Day 399 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 074 ~Don’t B Jealous, Virgil~

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Jealous? I can be far worse and, dare I say, greater. Can I ever be happy? I can’t tell you the last time I was. But I’m sure it was on some E-Day. And now that the thirty-ninth has passed… Geez, B III, how did you do fifteen? Don’t B Jealous, Virgil

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Tale 074 ~Don’t B Jealous, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m sure that involves all my sins. Treachery, Lust, Sloth, Wrath, Greed, Envy, Pride… More?

I still don’t see myself as a prideful person. My grandma told me I was. Considering how much I despise E-Day, I was “proud” to have a tray of cupcakes for myself. I did share… eventually. I talk to you and the rest of the girls. And for some inane reason. I think that someone is reading. There’s also the fact that if I dropped dead right now (fingers crossed). I want to believe that someone would care that wasn’t furry with four legs. Please!

Braxton was jealous that I began putting all my sins above him. Wanting the world to feel my wrath gave way to my Treachery. My betrayal of my firstborn son. And Virgil has every right to be jealous of Braxton.

But what do I know about fur babies, as I failed Braxton? And even if I were right, it’s not Virgil’s envy that’s in question but my own. All last night, it was, “Hey Jealousy.”

Why am I so into audiobooks? And, of course, the Day Job started forbidding earbuds. Can I give them the cupcakes back? Honest to God, I seek not happiness but the strength to endure. A moment in my existence, I don’t court death itself, Inspector.

Only it’s happiness that brings me to you, OK? Yep time-travel Sunday, September 10, 2023. Last night, I saw that Samantha and TBR Schmitt welcomed their daughter to the world. It was Madison’s birthday from MAC React. And isn’t she expecting a baby too? Wow!

Me and other people’s happiness. I should be ashamed, as I’ve been asking every day this month as I turned thirty-nine. What have you done? Not a damn thing, Inspector. And as the critic asked today… really. What is E-day? Emergence, Existence, Extinction? But let me try again. E-day is the day I was born. Inspector, nothing happy about it.

No girls are jealous, considering most are animated. I am bouncing back and forth between Koumi-jima Shuu 7 de Umeru Mesu-tachi and Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku. But if you want real, @bunnie_wifey vs. Momokun. Lust is right up there.

But jealous? That Braxton found death first, without me. “Drunk all and left no drop to help me after.” Being me. Don’t B Jealous, Virgil.

955 Days Without B III, Day 396 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 070 ~Virgil, BIII Of E-Day~

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Any day B III got more than his fair share, he considered it a holiday. Birthdays? His own, and then E-Day. I didn’t share with VV… Red Lobster forgot the fries “twice.” And the steak. It’s not the only reason I want to vomit. “Virgil, BIII Of E-Day”

Saturday, September 9, 2023

Tale 070 ~Virgil, BIII Of E-Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Which means I would be “partying” this month. To be honest. I just want to vomit.

Didn’t I say yesterday that I’m pretty sober? Unless you count sugar as substance abuse. I don’t know if I’ve been crashing. The “Adrenaline” is wearing off. Or depression’s back. I survived E-Day. But that means I have another year of existence to waste. Vomiting? Yep, Luna, TMI! But I’ve said out loud that I killed my son, too. Can B III see me now? Lunalesca, I hope not. But for the record, I’m sitting in bed talking to you. Talk about existence goals. I want to be in bed with a big set of boo… I’m not trying to be derogatory towards women. My critic would have a field day or say nothing at all. There is no middle ground. Anyway, sitting with Braxton…

I’d lie in bed all the time. And after napping for far too long, I’d spill my guts. Not literally. It depends on how you take these words. I wish I could tell you, but (censorship). Anyway, back to my point. Anything else requires me to face the “Man in the Mirror.” Lunalesca, the E in Existence. I swear if my critic doesn’t talk to me today… Emergence is what I regret the most. Extinction is what I yearn for. But Existence? And it’s been two days. What have I done with them? I’ve done the Math. E-Day takes plenty of arithmetic. The money I didn’t spend on “The Pic Phenomenon.” The cash wasted on “my” dinner. And let’s not forget time. THEY say, “Time Is Money.” Thirty-nine years, Lunalesca!

Let me spend more time answering my critic’s question. Hopefully… What’s E-Day? E-Day is the day on which… Well, as Shakespeare put it. From my mother’s womb, I was untimely ripped. It’s the day I came into this world kicking and screaming. And look at me now. Can’t you see Lady Lunalesca? It’s why I find women distracting, love B’s eyes and avoid mirrors. Didn’t I mention I’m reading about vampires now? What are the rules for them again? The rules for E-Day are getting a good night’s sleep, not seeing people, and having a delicious dinner. And I broke every single one this week. And I’m glad it’s over, but now there’s more time. What does that mean for Virgil? Virgil, BIII Of E-Day

951 Days Without B III, Day 392 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 067 ~Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil~

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I was pretty young, buying my first Fleshlight, a camera, and… well, I must have been. Now, I’d have to have express delivery for anything I want for E-Day. Not like Heaven… or Hell delivers. The Olds have bad news. V’s quiet. Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil

Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Tale 067 ~Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I call myself a thief? Inspector, I’m far worse. A liar, a manipulator… murderer?

“Why can’t I just be normal?” Can’t I play Far Cry 5 or watch a movie as E-Day approaches? Um? I could buy a PS5. I didn’t say that? And even if I were for real, I wouldn’t make time to play it. I’m not even watching “Home Security Guard 2” after downloading it. Inspector, it’s still Sunday, September 3, 2023. I’m still “Turning Japanese,” I really think so. But we’ll get to that. I keep saying that, Inspector, and there’s Emergence Day. God, I wish I could say more about this existence. And you know what I want more than Braxton back. Extinction? But no, Inspector, I’m sitting here napping, procrastinating, etc. At least Virgil’s still alive and well. I paid for Braxton’s… Euthanasia.

But let’s talk about what I’ve been buying on the second worst day existing, Inspector. As I’ve said, I’ve been looking at what the critic likes and dislikes: languages sometimes. Anyway, I don’t know who I’m paying. Russians, Japanese, the greedy Republicans with their “kinks.” Either way, I’m not a good person. Hell! I’m even keeping my pants on, ha. There’s this place right here. I’m sitting in bed, not working on escaping the Day Job. But I want to talk. And I want the critic to say whatever about my speech, even with corrections. And I mentioned something about some nasty chicken I bought, but it wasn’t Pizza Hut. I don’t expect Braxton’s Aunt to buy me a pizza for E-Day again. Good girl.

I don’t want to think about what I will buy on E-Day. When Braxton was here, there was always food and even cake. There could be a full night’s sleep, Inspector. Though being the greedy so-and-so I am, I always want more. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, uh? Anytime would be good to join my boy. And with what the Olds might say about their son at thirty-nine that has done absolutely nothing with the existence they permitted… Inspector, I am afraid. That’s something else I can’t get for E-Day. Love and happiness, peace of mind, Echo. There’s also the idea of a piece of… again, the critic, censorship, and cowardice. Inspector, I can’t say goodbye or buy my way out of this. Time remains priceless, Inspector.

948 Days Without B III, Day 389 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 063 ~ Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil~

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I go back and forth with what Braxton thought in his final moments. The most “comforting” being something like, “Daddy, why can’t I stay.” And three years later, his Dad is playing with his existence. Losing money on E-Day. Braxton’s Cashing Out

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Tale 063 ~ Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But how long can I keep saying that? When I’m existing like the Tiger King… Lunalesca

“I am never gonna financially recover from this.” When B III died, it didn’t matter. Lunalesca, I should have followed him. Point blank, period. That is us, Lunalesca, always and forever. We ride together, we die together. What’s one more broken promise, I ask, Lu? I’m becoming a member of the GOP. I waste cash on some horrible investments, ha. I bribe a “poor black child” with a 40oz and a bucket of chicken on his way to the poor house. Oh! Should it be video games and movies? On this coming E-Day, Dear Lunalesca? Hell! It’s not like I have money for anything else. Did I mention I’m becoming a Republican? Or, as they say, I am a “Real American” by hating foreign countries.

England, if we’re being specific. Sorry, Cherry. That money is a drop in the bucket. Compared to what I spent with the Japanese and Russians. I’m spending money on good? Uh! Why does anyone use money on Bitcoin, temporary emails, and a spanking new VPN? Speaking of spanking, I’ve got two things there. The first is Spankbang by way of X/Twitter. It’s always decent for some Japanese “anime,” if you know what I mean, Luna. Second, my almost thirty-nine behind will get spanked by the Olds, Lunalesca. I don’t know. These are confessions better left to Inspector Echo, hmm? But considering what I spent to keep this place afloat… I was going to call myself a piece of… whatever. But I hate toilet humor, literally.

And with that nasty chicken, I spent money on. And how sick I made myself sitting in the car, seeing how much money I lost in a single day. Once upon a time, it was steak and lobster with some fries for B. This year… the Hell if I know for Virgil and I, Lady Lu. Please! I have all the paperwork I was going over last night when I wanted to curse out GoDaddy. Ain’t that a word or words? Go Daddy? I hear those words from Braxton. Only go where my son? He had his Aunt’s ample cleavage, but he couldn’t stay. I don’t want to either, considering old money, criminal offenses, and the Olds. Sin City? Nope! Hell! Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil

944 Days Without B III, Day 385 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 060 ~E-Day Fools Virgil, B~

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I meant to explain what E-Day is? Hell! I can’t explain why I get out of bed in the morning. I’d like to say for fifteen years, it was because Braxton needed me to. Or my Olds said so. There’s Virgil. He’s still alive, I exist. E-Day Fools Virgil, B.

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Tale 060 ~E-Day Fools Virgil, B~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I don’t have to EVOLVE. Republicans haven’t. And you know what B stands for…

Emergence? Wait, that doesn’t start with a B. But instead of talking about Braxton’s death. Let me be a selfish “person” since it’s my day. Well, counting today, it will be in T-minus 9 days. Then again, I’m time-traveling. And I’ve already screwed up with my critic on being clear, concise, and making my case. The comedian is dead. I should be, but here goes…

What is E-Day? Again, let us begin with Emergence and why I won’t vote Republican. With women, I’m Pro-Choice. Let women do whatever they want. But with my Ma… sigh. Come E-Day, she should have done some thinking. And that’s an insult, I know, Inspector. Both me and my younger sister were C-sections. She wanted us here alive and well.

Existence for me, though… If I had my way… I would not recommend it. Like ever. I try my hardest not to say words like life or live. That is not what this is, Inspector. Questions such as What is my favorite movie, set of mammaries, type of music, etc., Echo. I couldn’t tell you any of it. But right above that line, “Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin'” from The Band Perry. There’s “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal” from Marina and The Diamonds, Teen Idle. And God, I know Inspector, turning thirty-nine. And what have I done? Or rather, why have I done nothing but exist, Inspector? My greatest accomplishment was my son Braxton. I thought I was being selfish today. Right?

Extinction though? Erasure, euthanasia… Hell! Evil! My boy should be here. And how dare I even think that he was the lucky one. I don’t disrespect my Ma, Little B, and how about myself. Uh. I disrespect myself all the time. But I don’t get off light Echo, not ever. I’m not a man of faith, but as the song goes, “Everybody wanna go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.” I want to Inspector. But this is Hell, and I am right where I belong. Only I cry out, “What’s my crime!” Which is worse? I was around seven or eight, asking, “What the Hell is going on?” Or killing my best friend at thirty-six?” Doesn’t matter; I’m still breathing. E-Day Fools Virgil, B

941 Days Without B III, Day 382 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will