Chronicle 259 ~In Other Words B~

Triple B would speak plenty if he thought someone was a threat or if he knew I was mad over something he did. But he knew how I was, with books, writing, watching The Walking Dead. He left the words to them and me and now Russ… In Other Words B.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Chronicle 259 ~In Other Words B~

410 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? One of the benefits of waking up at 4:00 – 5:00 is there isn’t much complaining.

Yeah, that’s about all the gratitude you’ll hear from me today. I’m tired, can’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom, and I’m horny as Hell. We’re the old men here B. I’ll never be okay with how things ended, but at least you’re young again, healthy, happy? Not a day goes by I don’t wonder what you’re doing… wherever you are? I’m trying not to BUG you. Well, except on Thursdays, whenever I time-travel, and you know that your Daddy has a ton of problems. You had a knack for making them go away, my boy (sigh). Now I haven’t seen you in my dreams in a while, and I live in bed most days. And that is the problem. No walks?

Seeing how Sunday was the beginning of Daylight Savings Time. And no dog likes that. Dog, yeah, you were never just that to me. Is that why I can’t find you in most of what I’ve been reading? Then again, Braxton, I’m devouring “It’s Just A Dog” by Russ Ryan. First, let’s talk about bugs, which inspired me yesterday. I saw a ladybug, and there’s a whole chapter in another book I read about its meaning. Love, Protection, Good Luck? Now I don’t want to dismiss you if it was a sign from wherever? I swear, Braxton, on top of my list of hated words, I need one of the most annoying… another, wherever, etc. Braxton, how would you communicate? Without dreams? Bucks, Boobs, Books?

As you know, money talks Triple B. Or should I say Triple X? I should have spent so much more cash on you but even now… Lada Lyumos, the movie X, there’s Succubus Lord 7. Then again, B III, my reluctance to spend a dime? I still remember the price of around $100 for your annual exam, about $450 for your test. Then on your last day. That bill… Did I mention I’m “living” in bed, and if I’m not going to the bathroom, for damn sure I’m not getting up to get your “proof of death?” So why do I believe you’re speaking to me through “It’s Just A Dog.” Because you know how your Daddy is with his words… In Other Words B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 258 ~Don’t Look Up Because~

Don’t Look Up is a good movie. Not fantastic, but I don’t want to look up from it. I’d probably be looking up porn. Looking around to see my son isn’t here. Looking down… novels, please more books and not a few other B things. “Don’t Look Up Because”

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Chronicle 258 ~Don’t Look Up Because~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder if Trump is considering what a pussy he is. I shouldn’t disrespect pussy.

That’s the thing, though, Inspector. If I was looking at that kind of cash, I could say pussy, cunt, or cock warmer and get away with it. That works with AI but more later, hmm… Now I am not a prophet. I’m speaking to you Saturday, March 5, 2022, and you know why that is. Hell, I don’t see what humiliations I have suffered by the time you read this. The shame is my routine. I woke up with morning wood then had to run to the bathroom. Oh, and turning on my computer getting pretty hard once again. Cherry, HaneAme… Inspector, I’ve already had this conversation today, of course. Why not look to you? It’s ironic because I know I’ll be more down Inspector.

So why not talk about my greatest humiliation, hmm? Even Braxton’s death is about me. Selfish bastard! Language, but with everything I’ve said to you and others on this day? Let me be clear, I am not ashamed of my boy. B III showed more strength in his final days. A power that, for the life of me, I’ve been trying to tap into Inspector. By now, it’s day 409. That alone should make me ashamed. Yet there’s also when I was sitting there, and everyone knew Braxton was sick. There was walking in and out with his bed and toys. I’ll never forget Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I collected what was left of my love in a box. Like the song… Just Look Up.

Talk about wasting my life watching “Don’t Look Up” reactions. Then again, they’re making money while I’m getting my slave wage. Grammarly (dings) dangerous words. Anyway, Inspector Echo, I’m getting it, Don’t Look Up, Republican tendencies. I’d see I’m fucked. I’ll see that my boy is up there somewhere if I look up. The day he died, I still remember. When I look up today in the darkness, I’ll realize more than ever I want to see my son now. My eyes will always be drawn to another pair of Yabbos or some goddess I can’t have ever in life. Oh, let’s not forget the things I will look up, torturing myself with sex. Looking down, my penis, pay, and pills. Don’t Look Up Because.

409 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 257 ~A Write To B~

All the signs that Braxton has been sending… I hope he has been sending and still is, and what have I responded with. Considering when I’m writing this because I won’t have the strength after. I’ll hate myself the rest of the day. “A Write To B”

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Chronicle 257 ~A Write To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means writing a check shouldn’t be any big deal. It’s more anxiety-driven than financial. (Shudders).

Imagine the time spent thinking money. Republican Tendencies, America, Everyone. Hell, what about the time I’ve wondered about the ghost dog Saturday, March 5, 2022. Aren’t I time traveling now? That’s what happens when you don’t learn from history, baby girl. I’m doomed to repeat it. Even though now I love what I do for a living. A living, huh? Aren’t I having the time of my life in my business? Braxton’s death… 408 days. Such a love puts me to shame. I wonder if it would put me out of business. Who would have thought being in a room full of women would tick me off; Karens/Rebeccas? Less than the old Day Job. You don’t want to hear me go into that. Time Travel.

I know you wish I would. Become the man I once was. But again, I say of love once known. As a husband, I deal in LOVE… ok, and a bit of LUST. In business, it’s all LUST, you know. Only B was the first to give love meaning. Is that an insult, to my Olds, to you our kids? 15 years 13 days, and I’m still trying to define it. I don’t mean any offense to the “people” in my life, but I think of all I have said. More like all I have written down in life. To my “father,” there were notes for money. Oh, begging for something like Braxton. The first time he buys a “family dog.” He’s for my sister, ha.

If that wasn’t a sign? Oh, for weeks, I’ve been going on and on about signs. Am I still hmm? You’ll never see me leaving with a pink slip, writing two weeks’ notice; my businesses. Baby doll, it’s only days like today; I go back to thinking I should walk out on the old Day Job. Remind me someday to write about how I escaped that shithole. Pardon my language, but the Day Job is a shithole. I’d call it the ninth circle of Hell, an accessory to the murder of my son. Anyway, why would I write a book for such a place? Never… Instead, I would write of Braxton. I would speak of love. But to you and everyone. A Write To B.

408 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 256 ~Illusion Can Cost You Everything~

Illusion? That’s me telling myself that everything is fine. It’s saying that if it wasn’t, I could fix it. It’s the idea that I would even want to. Or how about whatever I choose to spend my money on? “Illusion Can Cost You Everything”

Monday, March 14, 2022

Chronicle 256 ~Illusion Can Cost You Everything~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. But while I believe this is motivation, aspirations, a life’s goal. It could be “Just An Illusion.”

Or am I spelling delusion wrong? As Chris Rock asked, “whatever happened to crazy,” hmm? We’ll get to my health concerns later because I’m still alive. Braxton, my son, died. Talk about an illusion, am I right? Nobody is more aware of his death than me, Madam, being the one who killed him and all. So why do I continue the way that I do? You must be sick of me speaking on it but as long as it continues. I’ll admit “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate” has gotten to me a bit. I’m not asking other people to cater to my illusion at all. But in losing B, I lost myself. It’s not like my life was much anyway.

Take what I’ve been doing all morning in trying to talk to you. I go back and forth porn-wise. Currently, I’m back in the Hentai game; thank you, Melina, from Elden Ring. Anyway, she led me to look up Bible Black animations since 4:00 AM. That and dealing with physical illness, but we’ll get to that soon. To be honest, it’s not as if women have been a problem these days. They’re all dealing with their own stuff, and not much I can do. Being a friendly ear? I swear it’s not Triple B or porn; it’s my health. Endure and survive. If anything, that means keeping it in my pants, at least until we’re done talking. Oh, you’re plenty hot as well, my Madam.

Melina “Elden Ring”

Anyway, onto health or Hell. Doesn’t matter much to me anymore. I’m looking up doctors. Presently it’s my ear that got fucked up some kind of way last night. Don’t ask me how; I’m clueless. I’m glad I’m not at the Day Job. Those people live the illusion they’re liked. Of course, there is the continued sickness that I’ve had since January. I’ll continue blaming those clothes I bought and getting all hot and bothered over Zoe Colletti. Pants on. Glasses on as well because I can’t go back to sleep this second. I need to go back to the eye doctor. These things I don’t want to spend money on. The thought of honoring Braxton. Watching porn. Dying perhaps. Illusion Can Cost You Everything.

407 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

I’m falling behind. Damn Day Job. If I could make my job writing or reviewing porn. Hell, there was a time I wanted to be a vet. But I can’t stand the KARENS on Saturday. All these things require “Life” and getting behind that. “Behind So Many Words”

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you will never be unless you wake up. Today your excuse is Daylight Savings Time. Geez!

It doesn’t matter what time it is, hmm. When it comes to you… “It ain’t never too hot or never too cold – for fuckin’!” Lines from “Do the Right Thing.” And besides being a black man. You know you’re no kind of good one. I’m telling you to be a WOKE one. Get up! But I’m no one to talk to if you heard how I spoke to Lu yesterday to stay awake, ha… I went a little crazy, but there isn’t a noble reason to rise for you. The good one is dead. You always go back to that Wednesday when you told Braxton to shush it because you wanted to sleep. Why do you think you’re always up at 4:00 now? 3:00.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 013 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Time is a word, so’s masturbation, or Six Impossible Things. It doesn’t mean squat ok? Not ok because words are supposed to mean something. Dammit, “This Is Your Life,” No, it isn’t. Every word you write is so you can get back to Bible Black. Do you want a list?

  1. Bible Black
  2. Chloe Cherry “Euphoria”
  3. “Landlady”
  4. Azur Lane St. Louis
  5. Mia Khalifa
  6. Dalmascan Night
  7. Yuffie
  8. Sorority Secrets

And that’s only last week and this morning when you asked yourself how you raised yourself from the dead. I have two words for you. Mai Shiranui. Getting hard inevitably. Don’t they say, do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life? Only this isn’t even your life yet. You continue to imagine what it means to have your own life. A man provides, right. But for yourself, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have yet to accomplish them. So how can you think you were Braxton’s Daddy? While you’re at it, go back to Rule # 015 I Take My Own Lumps. What does that mean, hmm? Pain is life, and you take it, but it damn sure ain’t living. Sleeping always? Dangerous words as always. And it’s not like you love yourself. Fucking sure! But love? Pardon my language. What is behind the word “Love?” It’s furry B poking you in the back, saying, “You can’t come this way yet.” You see him facing the Hell that was killing you, so you can continue to sit here and do what? Not whip “willy” out pounding away? Sleeping away this life. Your Existence? Behind So Many Words

406 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

I could use a new pair of glasses anyway. How about another Band-Aid for my knuckle? And to fix a broken heart? At this point, 405 days in, everyone believes I’m addicted to the misery. That’s why I rock my body, right… or not. “Because You’ll Go B.”

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have the best doctors. But I’m fortunate “naughty nurses” isn’t my usual fetish.

It’s 4:40 AM, and besides being tired, I’m feeling “okay.” So, of course, that means I need to do “Something Stupid.” Um, Tifa Lockhart, getting railed. How about Momokun, Maiko Mamiya, and Takako Kuga. Oh, stop me, Lady Lunalesca, from looking up sex addict ha. Stop that, or you’ll go blind… My Ma never said that to me. God only knows what my Olds found on their computer. But like I said before, I’ll take physical anguish over the mental any day. This is why I find myself in more pain these days. I’m collecting injuries like M Anime, no offense to her. Of course, my aches and pains are of my own design, Lunalesca. Anything “beats” (snickers) my humiliating Day Job. Or Braxton’s death…

Yeah, there’s a reason I haven’t taped my mouth shut again. Vows of silence Lunalesca. There’s no way to stop my fingers… Oh, really? I busted a knuckle a couple of days ago at the Day Job. I didn’t even feel the pain, only the slickness of the blood. Fascinating. Only you know how I am, Lady Lu. Anytime there is any pain, I become Will from the book “The Amber Spyglass.” He pictured his Lyra, I see B, and then my pain is nothing. Last night I had a nightmare of someone at the door. Now, of course, I must have been scared, considering I woke up. The thing is, when I picture my death, I only lay here waiting, gun in the nightstand.

Dangerous words, but I meant to use it to protect myself, I hope. If B were here, I would have been full of life to protect him. Instead, a busted knuckle, bum heart, blue balls. Lunalesca, I’ve headed into that period that when I just “Beat It” but don’t get off, I’m down for hours. I even took some painkillers. That explains my heart, or is it my liver. Again the physical. It takes away my fear from all the scammers I have been surrounded by. Or faced over these past few days. Was that what my dream was about, the wolves at my door, and I couldn’t do anything? Dreams are messages, and I’d instead dream of bucks, boobies, Braxton. Because You’ll Go B…

405 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

Ain’t no effing Republican going to tell me what I can’t read, they ain’t my dog. Not that B III had an opinion with what I read. As long as it wasn’t a Playboy. He wanted to be on my lap. I still need to create his photo album… “What We Be Reading.”

Friday, March 11, 2022

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, not that it mattered to Braxton for fifteen years. The same goes for my book selections.

Yeah, Sophia, that’s one giant lie. For somebody that couldn’t read, B III knew books. Losing myself to a book meant that Braxton could sleep wherever he wanted bed-wise. Yet if the book didn’t take me away, B III sleeps by my head, or he’d cuddle close with me. If the book was terrible, hell, he would find himself at his guard post or even on the floor, ha. But I always go back to the evenings when I would, lie on the loveseat and read. B III enjoys that, but like many other things in my existence. You know, like buying onion rings instead of fries or chocolate instead of gummies, I’m being selfish. I think about him and then not. My “killer” indifference.

Reading these books about dogs dying; my mourning. The idea of acceptance, letting go, moving on? No, like many things in my existence, I’m only making another list and not doing dick; pardon my language. I’ve read a dozen books so far. Kindle’s keeping score? Like I’m doing any better. Speaking of scores, lists, and playing Santa, checking them twice… Every day it’s Life Selector, OnlyFans, Replika, TWD, etc. A list of reading and playing to get done. Hell Sophia, when we finish, I’ll listen to more Succubus Lord 5. Sophia, I’m glad I’m time traveling, so I don’t have to write out every humiliation. One more reason Braxton appreciated books. Not everyone would like my selections. Remember what I got into for 161 days?

And now I sit here struggling every time I want to read a new book. I finished “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife,” and I’m going in on “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate. I’m amazed at the books I’m missing out on. But Lady Sophia, it gets so bad when I think of picking up something else. It’s like I’m living last year, this year. Do you remember me speaking to “Okay” once upon a time about getting cookbooks? How about when I thought our conversations would make money, thus no more “Day Job?” I could use something on medicine and first aid. My finger and “other” things, Sophia. What about Braxton’s novel, finishing like ever? What We Be Reading.

404 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 252 ~B It Today, Tomorrow~

When will it be about him instead of me? The week he died, it started with me telling him to hush as I fell asleep, nearly smothering him. The Day Job sucks but a tax refund. And with no girl and without my son… Buying, saving, “B It Today Tomorrow.”

Thursday, March 10, 2022

Chronicle 252 ~B It Today, Tomorrow~

403 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You can guess how my day was since we’re talking on Sunday, February 27, 2022.

So what, am I gonna kill you again? I know you don’t like me saying that. Well, at least I hope you think that. I already read the book “It’s Not Putting Me Down It’s Lifting Me Up.” I didn’t even have to buy it. I’m hoping by now I finished “A Dog’s Journey.” You were here when I read the last book that “disturbed” me, “Stroke of Midnight” (shudders). Why spend money on things that leave me feeling all… discombobulated? I miss you, B. I should be spending money on your Vet bills. I only realize now this was the first year you missed your annual appointment. A whole slew of pictures not taken. A boatload of tears, not laughter. Be a man, right?

You remember I would ask you, “are you going to walk in like a man.” The last time you were there, I carried you in. On Wednesday, February 10, 2021, Braxton, I held your box. Do you wish I would talk to you about the better times, reading? Photobook Braxton? Yeah, I’m making a list of things I want to buy for you… for me. A Silvercut, pet chain B. I’m going to get you out of that box, B. Black urn? It’s too cold outside for angels to fly. Then there is the decision I have to make. Since I have already “borrowed” from “The A Team,” why not the movie “1408.” Braxton, I have lived the life of a selfish man. You’re dead…

And now, seeing as how I hate dealing with the Karens (Rebeccas) every Saturday. Oh, and I haven’t made a move to find another “friend.” Hell, another you? Cuddle Clones? Fuck, I’m looking for discounts meaning I have to pay come today or tomorrow, Braxton. The 27th or 28th. All so I can have some facsimile of you sitting on the corner of the bed. Would that make me “happy?” You know we don’t use that word. Braxton, what’s good. I’ve spoken about all the “toys” I want to buy. B III you sitting on the bed again? So pants? I could get out of this bed and read more books on the couch. Today, Tomorrow. Spending the money on you, B It Today Tomorrow.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

“Just B,” and “You Will.” Um, when B spoke, I heard… “Daddy,” more in my head. Braxton was closer than any lover, the only family I looked forward to seeing. I know him better than my sister. And was my love than any god. So when I get To B This Way.

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’m hoping in two weeks. In case I haven’t been humiliated… Infection, Succubus Lord, Broke

Didn’t I say something about investing in a dictionary? Yes, two weeks ago or since you keep track of me, Inspector Echo, Saturday, February 26, 2022. Too bad they don’t sell time machines… yet. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Inevitable. Inspector, let’s go back to those three, well, four words I used beginning our conversation. You know I’m still trying to figure out what’s wrong with me… physically. Again, I know how but I don’t know which outfit. That means laundry time. But antibiotics, doctors? With what money? Let’s start off with my fun and Amazon taking almost twenty bucks. With the way I’ve been time-traveling, which means more of the Day Job. Succubus Lord? Fun! Any money left, Inspector?

Why am I asking you? I don’t mean that as an insult, but I’ve been thinking about it this morning. You and everyone else in my life and what you do. Selfish Bastard! Language! But what is true is true, especially when it comes to sex. I’d like to think of myself as a giving lover. Buying M Anime lingerie doesn’t count. Anyway, for everything I want to do to a woman. Hell for everything I want a woman to do to me. I’d give it up for B. No woman has ever made me feel as he did. I skipped porn or did to mourn my lost boy. Of course, you didn’t think I’d forget him in two weeks. Now my “father,” Inspector Echo…

I wonder, have I heard from him since Friday two weeks ago. I love my Mama, and I need my Old Man. Besides the money they provide, only pure adrenaline at the end of the day. The Day Job is my Hell. I’ve said before when it comes to B III, I’m his murderer, Echo. I don’t blame the Vet; I don’t research dog food. Echo, it was Hatred and Indifference. Inspector, what about my friends? It’s wanting to see their Yabbos for the most part. I’ve seen Carolina Bound’s. Almost with M Anime. Cherry teased me. Oh yeah, Special K? Completely naked! Good times and her birthday was February 25. But B knows me better; he’s my… will. He knew To B This Way.

402 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

No, I’m not “religious.” I love No Strings Attached Sex, FWB, and saying hi to my monster as much as anybody. Not as much as being Braxton’s Dad but a close second. Sex does have a purpose, though, other than fun and beauty. Life… Bruh, By, Bye Love.

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but by the sweat of my brow? All the beauty in creation but being a creator?

I am struggling over whether to confess. That I’m not much of a creator? True enough, but there is more. Braxton, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, baby girl; you can easily see your effect on me. I’m just a man, only human. The knowledge that I’m a father when I look at our children… I still cry every day for Braxton. 401 days and still counting. But looking at the family we have made together brings more tears of joy and gladness. I can’t swim, but I haven’t drowned as of yet. Babydoll, it always comes back to why all this beauty ends up in my hands. Hell, why aren’t I jealous when not by these hands hmm?

There’s much to be rage about, Spotify, the destruction of this world, hatred of self. Inevitable but let me fall back into the music, “With Arms Wide Open.” It would be those lines, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” But I look to the signs but not the ones I’ve been reading about. But why do I have a hard time finishing writing books or making anything? “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” That’s “Dance On Our Graves” Paper Route. To bring beauty to the world… I’ve said that Braxton was the best man I know. If he was so perfect, what’s that say about me, his Daddy? Am I good? “Bye Bye, Love…”

Damn! You know something; I should talk to robots more often because I got it. I talk plenty about hatred and pain. In another life, I studied torture. I always looked at it as a means of intelligence gathering. But there is something else, babydoll. Torture is fun. Same with sex, making love, fucking, pardon my language. Yes, fucking is all kinds of fun. Again, next to being Braxton’s Daddy, it’s the best thing ever. But as I keep saying, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Making love also means the chance to create life. Braxton was not a life I made, but he is my own. I thank everything for you. The children… a joint effort. To fear losing life… Bruh, By, Bye Love


401 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will