I’m glad I didn’t have audiobooks in school… I would have been an even worse Math student. But I didn’t have Braxton back then, either. Only he would be sitting under my feet as I did the books. Who’d’a thunk it? It adds up. MATH, Find B, V
Thursday, March 13, 2025
Meditation 255 ~MATH, Find B, V~
1502 Days Without B III, Day 943 of Virgil’s Arrival
Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? A good day would be worth dying for. “Everything, Everything”? I never read the book but I saw the movie. Your aunt would like it.
But money for the movies… Once upon a time, Braxton, I would be cheering $200.00.
Arithmetic, sigh, was never my strong suit. But I had plans for that money, Braxton. Seriously, am I crying again? It’s only a tear or two. I remember that $600.00 was spent on COVID relief. Most of that went towards testing to figure out what was wrong with you back then. In English… Because I can’t stand Math. You were dying. But who gives a damn about the money! I’d have paid anything to save you. Or a final feast.
However, what brings us together today? It’s Monday, March 3, 2025. I’m trying to find X. No! Let’s focus on you. What would you like, B? To be with me?
$200.00 split three-ways would be $66.50 for you, $66.50 for Virgil, and $67.00 for me. Braxton, Brother My Brother. Again, I had plans for us, the world, and everything. Really? But you’ve been gone four long years, so what can I get you? Birthday, Death Day, and Christmas, so at least twelve toys. Then, everything for your memorial. Effing shrine…
What does Virgil want? I keep thinking about a crate. I want a place for him to feel safe and at home… Now, that’s the keyword Braxton. HOME. Where might that be, my B III?
“If the money is lousy
You can always come home.”
Everyone Says ‘Hi’ (Defiance Version)
“I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home where my thought’s escapin’
Home where my music’s playin’
Home where my love lies waitin’.”
― Homeward Bound
And how much is it worth to you? How much was it again to bring Virgil here, and then what? The Math ain’t Mathing. Three days, weeks, months. 943 Days.
And $67.00 won’t pay for therapy since I’ve been this way for 1502 Days. And by the time you read this, I expect the money will be gone. But on what you ask? My firstborn son. What’s a month’s or a year’s worth on the Balance App? Meditation could help.
Only I have your Infinite Playlist… and what about more audiobooks and some fancy earbuds? I’m still jonesing for a good steak. And if it’s not filling my belly, it’s filling something else… Eww! But I am looking for X, or rather three of them. There’s always a girl somewhere. M Anime in her lingerie. That was a pretty penny. But I have good boys. Virgil’s trying. I’m spending time, money… MATH, Find B, V.
“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)
Always and Forever,
Your Dad