Tag: B III

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

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I’m a sucker for pain, yet I look at it strangely. I can’t stand seeing B and V hurt. I hate hunting but respect farms for animals. Women must be respected, but I’m a fan of X-Rated. But I’m paying for the doc. Not for Braxton’s And Virgil’s Ouchies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but another truth is this. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain,” my love. Sadist, no doubt.

But when I’m talking about Braxton and now Virgil… Again I’m a selfish bastard. Why? Because I didn’t allow Braxton to hurt anymore? Yeah, baby doll, I’m back on these books about dead fur babies. Euthanasia. I couldn’t stand to see Braxton like that. Dying. Looking away, though, was never an option. To see the most beautiful thing and ugliest. Now I look at little Virgil here. I’ll have to go out despite anything and everything. An empty bag, an empty bowl, no. A man provides for his family. I do say that, hmm, love. But while I’m out, there’s something else I need to do, isn’t there? Besides worrying about Virgil’s nails, him getting a bath, an annual checkup? If I wasn’t so lazy.

Or so much of a sadist. Baby girl, I get no pleasure seeing you and the kids like this. To quote another song, “this love is killing me.” Then I would stay, wouldn’t I? If I liked watching what I was doing. Or if I wanted to suffer for it. Even with Braxton. Confession? I usually leave them for Inspector Echo. But the day before B III died, I left the house a bit. I needed to get food. And it wasn’t for Braxton because he wasn’t eating. Would I have let the vet drug him up if I could do it all over again? He could have fries and all his favorites for another few days. I am strange when it comes to pain.

And that’s why I’d be going out to see the doc even if I didn’t have to fetch V’s food. Oh, it isn’t the fact I’m trying to save money. A billionaire that wears jeans and hoodies everywhere. And hates being around most people. Well, with my business exception, ha. Funny, I wanted a business based on Fornication, Flimsy dressing requirements. All so I could have a Family. These things demand medical care. When it came to B III… money. I would have paid anything or gone full John Q. And now, with Virgil’s health care, once again, I’m a prick. With my mental state and the needs of you and our children. What? I should be a masochist, sigh. First, Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies.

618 Days Without B III, Day 059 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

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I call myself an open book, but I rarely find someone like Braxton, his aunt, etc. And still, I had to hide. I hate the mirror. Or turning a corner in my mind and finding… the illogical, illegal, impossible, and insane. “To Find, Learn To Hide.”

Monday, October 10, 2022

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I’d hide my cash in some underground vault, I’d flaunt it everywhere… Hoodies and jeans.

Hell! I’m like Linus van Pelt from Peanuts. He has his blanket, and I have a hoody, well, several, Madam. I know you’re not Inspector E, so this is no confession. It’s a simple fact. Something else I don’t hide and need not find, like the death of my boy. No, even if it cost me “friends.” I’ll continue to bring up Braxton. I’ve never been one to hide grief. But I do wonder how other people do it. Drugs? By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be off meds. So once again, I’m Time Travelling. Um, it’s Wednesday, October 5, 2022. And being sick? Am I still hiding from it? Have I been cured? And the day in general?

I’m always hiding from the horrors of the day in question. I don’t ever want to find myself back here ever again. Like the song goes, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” I’ve hidden the last good day I ever had so far down I’ll never find it. An impossible thing. Yes, you’re not the Man in the Mirror. Am I hiding from you today? I do apologize for that. I don’t know if you’re helping me or not. I tend to hide from positivity… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are?” Like all my other dreams of writing and of success. I read and listen to many books, yet I can’t find knowledge to save me. I’m buried in STUPID, to be honest. Such is my rage.

I told Inspector Echo today that I tried to put myself in the ground on occasion. The best way to hide from the world is to become part of it. This mind I have won’t let me. And the Sunday before last, this body demanded I do something. I couldn’t hide from the pain anymore. But I don’t want to be found, Madam. If anything, I want to find Braxton. Reincarnation yet again? Where is Virgil? I’m hiding from him, or he’s hiding from me? I’m not sure, Madam. I want to hide from everything. And the things I’m finding… nothing good, Madam. A Republican tendency, hide the good and the bad and get ugly. Sick of hide and seek? To Find, Learn To Hide

617 Days Without B III, Day 058 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

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55 days and how has Virgil’s life been so far. What, he’s hacked up… oh nothing. It nearly scared me to death. When I discovered it was part of B’s heart problems. I’d gladly taken it myself. Beats feeling like this always. “Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…”

Friday, October 7, 2022

Saga 098 ~Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have all the time in the world to read, learn, and cry.

Would Braxton’s story make me cry? To be honest, I don’t know, considering I haven’t looked at the two that I’ve written in how long? I’m trying to find the time. But don’t get your hopes up that this is the second time we’re talking today. Whatever do I want? Sophia, it could be to visit the doctor. Is the pain getting worse, Sophia? Do you remember when I told you or one of the others that I’ll choose physical anguish over a mind fuck? Pardon my language. If anything, if you are reading this, as Pearl Jam puts it, “I’m still alive.” But I wish I wasn’t. Will I be getting over this “feeling” anytime soon? My B III. NO, NEVER, AS IF. Virgil?

Loneliness? I can’t say I look at him the way I look at Triple B. Or Triple X, for that matter, Sophia. It’s been a long day? And without any fur baby to stop me. Hell! B III could see. Besides the loneliness, I’ve been talking a lot about Braxton’s lack of reincarnation… to be. Is that why Virgil has been in Braxton’s room all day. Well, except for a few bathroom breaks. What I wouldn’t give for V to be in one of many rooms making a mess, Sophia. What is he a Disney princess asking “When Will My Life Begin?” He barely makes a sound unless it’s hacking up a lung. And seeing as how I’m down here and he’s up there? Braxton?

Is he in Heaven, at the Rainbow Bridge, in a box? I’ve been saying it… the last couple of books have been people in boxes. This whole house is one giant coffin, I think, sometimes. And I’m trying not to make a sound. I’m going on how many times listening to the Succubus Lord series. No grunting over some girl. How many days has it been now since I failed this week? Friday, September 30, 2022. And no griping about work to Virgil. But I’m sure I’ll keep sharing fries if there is any money to spare. Ha-ha. I need a new book after The Cabin at the End of the World. Only I’ll end up texting about Virgil Vivi. What? Virgil’s Story, Yet B’s…

614 Days Without B III, Day 055 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

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B knew his spot on the bed. Virgil’s acquainted with his pillow. I really need to get his nails cut. Yet there was a plague at Petsmart. And with V’s hacking from me petting him. He might die or I might, walking that one aisle. Virgil, B Missing You.

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

613 Days Without B III, Day 054 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Three guesses as to how my day was. I don’t know yet, with Time Travel.

I don’t remember when I stopped crying over you. Did I cry for you today? Again considering how Thursday went. Today is Friday, September 30, 2022. So not yet, Braxton. I didn’t even nap today to remember how you would lie beside me. Or you would be on guard duty. And Virgil hasn’t been in the mood. Braxton, I’ve been giving him space, B III. Plenty of room. But what if I gave him all the room in the world? Oh, I’m not taking him back to the Rebeccas. I’d like to think I’m a better person than that B III. What do you think? Every day I look at him more and more, and I’m beginning to suspect he ain’t you. Are you lonely?

I don’t know how to broach this subject without having the cops rushing here crazy. Braxton, maybe that’s what my dream was about. The lawman charging in here for me. Silly me, and here I thought it was for a crime. I’m sure I told Lady Sophia or Dear Future Wife something like that today. Hell! The crimes I have committed only today, my friend. As Sade would sing, “Is It A Crime?” I’m a black man living in America, B. I’m sure you don’t miss my political tirades. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” You remain my worst crime. Your death is a tragedy. Mine would be… nothing. A parent, a dead child… SPOILER ALERT!!! The Cabin at the End of the World.

I don’t know how it will end yet, but I’m close. I see myself as Eric, walking with your body into a lake. You know, the thought of drowning scares me. A true punishment. If I were a man, I would have brought you back here. I’d laid you at the corner of the bed, your guard post. I would have lain in bed and gone to my drawer with the… Well, you know what I’m thinking, and here come the tears now. I’m alone anyway. Braxton, what about Virgil? It ain’t love, and if you’re reading this, then well, veterinarian? If it’s not nerves. V’s birthday and he needs a checkup; to make that walk to Banfield. I’m so lonely. Virgil, B Missing You.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

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Love didn’t save my boy. And his kidneys did him in for all the heart meds he took. Well, more like the point of a needle. Every time some doc sticks me with a needle, there’s that hope. Bacterial infection, nothing more. B My Medication V.

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I didn’t become a doctor. I despise most people, you know. Par for the course.

But how about a course of medical treatment? Oh, and not for my mental state. I cried this morning once again. All about my doggy, but there was also my depression and disgust, oh I know. It’s part of the reason we’re speaking so late at 5:55 AM. Am I not feeling good body-wise? I’m not sure yet but let’s start at the beginning. Which was last Sunday. Inevitable. Inspector, I went to see the doctor. And surprise, surprise, they found a bacterial infection. I don’t fear the point of the needle. As fucked up as it seems, pardon my French. It’s when I feel the closest to Braxton. I’m not one for self-harm… several “attempts” in my younger years which is another thing, Inspector.

I’m getting old. My hand to God, I never wanted to see thirty-eight. Hell! If I had a choice in the matter… I sound like one of those people from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” And how did that turn out? According to the doc, I’m an ordinary old man, Echo. After a bit of blood and peeing into a cup… TMI? They found I had something to fix for $17.00. Oh, and the $175.00 for going in the first place. Now I’m on the bottle and taking drugs… medication, ha. Again I feel close to my boy. I set alarms and down pills twice a day. Before I forget, my ears got cleaned. Or should I say “bukkaked?” People do suck.

But I am listening to the doctor and taking my pills, and then what? Will I listen to Virgil Vivi? I couldn’t save him from the heat when there was no AC, and now Inspector? Honestly, I don’t know if anything is wrong with him. And this week, Inspector Echo? Fucking same excuse when Braxton was dying? I don’t even remember what was so humiliating when he was trying to tell me something was wrong. I can say to you yesterday was the most fucked up day I’ve had in Inspector. Humiliations Galore! It Doesn’t Matter! My love didn’t save my son. And it’s not love when it comes to Virgil. At least not yet. For the Love of Money (sigh). B My Medication V

612 Days Without B III, Day 053 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

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I don’t remember exactly when I met B III or the day I wasn’t lonely with him here. I was alone For 15 years and 11 months, but I wasn’t lonely. Now’s there, Virgil. We’ve had good days and bad. Um, now I feel lonelier than ever. B Lonely Virgil And…

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could have much more than a man cave. A Castle, Colosseum, a Conclave…

I imagine our home is all the above and then some. Why am I under siege? Why are we fighting, or are we two people talking? That’s the whole point, isn’t it? I don’t want to be attacked or to fight. I don’t feel like talking. But I haven’t felt like talking since Sunday, January 31, 2021. And I’ve been much too tired since Tuesday, January 11, 2022. I know. Yeah, it’s all about B. It’s been 611 days now. And with V, we’re on day 52, my love. Hell! Why don’t I see a doctor since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? 10 months? Fuck! Pardon my language, but what would be the lonely equivalent of such a word? Never mind, don’t answer that, love.

Another point. How can I be lonely when I have love in my heart? Well, what’s left of it anyway. And I don’t want to turn into a “Christian” and go all love endures… everything. I’m more of one for the movies. I love a dead man. Is that perhaps too vague? I’m a bit like Trinity from “The Matrix.” I love my boy, Braxton. Neo was the one, remember? Braxton, I’ll admit, is a better name, though. I can’t forget it, which brings me to Virgil Vivi Bradford. I constantly remind myself to say his name when I’m not saying B III’s for everything. Then there’s everyone and everything I love, and I feel lonely today. I wonder why?

I have you, my love, my baby doll. And yet I wake up so cold. Brr! Yes, the air conditioner is still good. But I have about as much faith in it as I have in B III being reincarnated. Hell! I can be all wrapped up with you, and I’m sure the kids would like to join us too. Only I’m in no mood. Well, considering it’s Friday, September 30, 2022. Time Travel, sigh. I could go get Virgil, but I know how that would end. He’d be hacking away like I’m the worst person ever. I’ve never made that a secret. And with you and our children? My love? I know I’m not a good one anymore, right? A dick, depressed, depraved. Mr. Lonely, B Lonely Virgil, And…

611 Days Without B III, Day 052 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

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I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

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Next to B III sitting at the foot of the bed, staring out the door on guard duty, I miss how he’d cuddle up next to me while I’m reading. Virgil tried that for a bit, but um, I’m toxic, and he’s in B III’s room by himself. “Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely.”

Friday, September 30, 2022

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can invest in security cameras. Well, more than now. With such “Paranoia, paranoia!”

And no, not about B’s ghost. So is that it then; I no longer feel that B III has been reincarnated? Um, the last few books have been more dead people than fur babies, Sophia. Only Virgil hasn’t been around to hear any of this. Nope, this morning Virgil’s alone. Yeah, I’ve only walked into Braxton’s old room to check Virgil’s birthdate. Sophia, for the record, it’s October 20, 2020. Braxton Barks was still living during this period. I haven’t been shopping around Amazon for Virgil Vivi’s birthday gifts either. The Adoption Kit that I got, I’ve buried in a notebook behind porno. Don’t ask. But I have searched online for what could be wrong with him and all his hacking. A toxic “best friend?”

I swear he and I need to go and see a doctor, but I’m not ready to read those damn bills. It could be worse. There’s a reason I haven’t been watching much YouTube or wrestling, either. Do I need to watch the world go to Hell or see how fake it is? Blasphemy. To be honest. And I’m not sure how much I can do with you or anybody these days. I would go see a doctor. But next week will be more fucked up than the last, so Time Travel. Lots of writing to do today if I don’t fall asleep again. Not that my dreams/nightmares are lonely. The last one I saw the cops bursting in (pick a crime) and woke up.

Of course, I don’t have the time… Ha-ha, to write it all down. And I’ve pretty much forgotten the dream I had about Virgil/Braxton about a week ago. There are the books in front of me. I’m trying to listen to Succubus Lord 19 whenever I “need to” monologue into the void. I’m still reading “The Cabin at the End of the World.” How’s it going to end? There’s been death Sophia. Which reminds me, haven’t I written out my eulogy someplace? Yeah, I’ve been in a mood for days. In case someone is keeping tabs, I’ll leave it there. Only like the song, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” I said Virgil’s by himself. Trying to keep him alive. Sigh, Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely

607 Days Without B III, Day 048 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

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B III’s life or my own… no question, he’d be here. Virgil’s life or mine? Well, it’s only been 47 days. I don’t want it, and he certainly deserves it. Maybe I should stick to the dog books and not movie trailers. Knock at the Cabin… Can Virgil B III?

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

606 Days Without B III, Day 047 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It sucks that I wasted another one. Yeah, where have you heard that before, hmm?

At least then, I was talking to you. And look, here come my tears for Tuesday, September 27, 2022. I’m starting to feel like the dude from “Quantum Leap” or “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” B Squared. More like Triple XXX as this talk should have been had… Um, way back when. Hell! It would be better if we could talk on Thursday but, you know what. Humiliations Galore, B III. And on days like this, you would come running to cuddle. A minus against Virgil Vivi… On the other side of the equation, Virgil’s beside me Tuesday. One of these days, I will answer the question, is Virgil you or not? I can’t think about that right now, sorry to say. No, not because of that… A book inspired me?

I still feel bad that I’m not reading a book about dogs. I’m sure I’ve talked about the movie Knock at the Cabin and the novel; it’s from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Now, your daddy’s an asshole, but you would listen to whatever. Anyone else, beware. SPOILER ALERT!!! So Daddy Eric, Daddy Andrew, and their daughter Wen have to choose. Out of the three of them. One has to be sacrificed at the hands of the two. The world will end if they fail to choose or follow through with the sacrifice. I’m 30% done with the book. It should be 75% by the time you see this. Did I want to say it out loud? Yes, no, I don’t know.

But it got me thinking again. First of all, you were or are… the jury is still out on Virgil. Well, my apocalypse buddy. We were or are supposed to face the zombie horde together. If there was a choice between your life and mine, there is no question. I would have taken your pain, Braxton. I would die for you. A part of me did. I watched you die. Writers play God, but we are not so. Throw Jesus to the wolves, and Hell, I take my own lumps, but I would not give you up for the world. And then I look at Virgil. If you were here… I’m not letting him go… yet, but his life, I wonder. Can Virgil B III?

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

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My “father” “encouraged” me to read the book “1984.” He also had me read “Animal Farm” and the quote, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Such “A Great Big World,” and I’m worried about AC. “B III > V”

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the only symbol worth a damn to me should be a dollar sign $.

Today has been all about pageantry, tradition, and symbolism. Like you, I’m getting sick of Time Travel. Today is Monday, September 19, 2022. And maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been watching Queen Elizabeth II’s Funeral all day long. I’m dead tired. Not funny, Echo? Hell! Not a day goes by that I don’t relive my son’s death. And by the time you read this, I hope Virgil feels better. Yeah, I’m hoping he’ll chill. I think he’d like to be put on ice. Again not funny. To be honest, he does need to see the vet with his birthday coming up in October. But that means I need the cold hard cash. But considering what’s happening an hour or two from now. Air Conditioner.

And that’s why I am ashamed. Roman Numerals were never my strong suit. Unless you’re talking about them someday making a Final Fantasy XXX. Triple XXX in general E, ok. First, it needs to be said that by the time you’re reading this, I hope I’ve gotten out of the Day Job today. Yeah, I need the money, but I can’t do what they ask Echo. I hate shoes, ok. Second, since I don’t have the money, who do you think is paying for the Air Conditioner repairs? I sound like a spoiled, entitled asshole. Daddy Wasn’t There indeed, sigh. Finally, for the love of money. I told him I didn’t have the money, and his friend fucked up twice. $630.00 flushed down the toilet.

Dammit! How much money has been wasted on me, and I don’t even know who I am, Echo? It could be worse. It’s like being one of those signs on a restroom door. That’s low. Politics? I know I’m a man. Inspector, I love tits, legs, and nice lips. My only confusion is what girl in the porn I’m going to blow my load to. Pornography, Echo brings zero shame. But the fact that I might need to hide what money I have left. I’m a man that can’t provide for myself or my… Was I going to call Virgil my kid? No, Braxton is my child, my son, firstborn. Losing him was everything. My “father,” Day Job, wants the rest. B III > V

605 Days Without B III, Day 046 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will