Tag: Crying

Saga 188 ~To B New Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The first thing, the first someone that made me want to be a better man, ha, wasn’t some parent or teacher. A lovely girl with decent Yabbos made me clean the house. Or flash some cash. But a four-legged kid… I Tried, I try? To B New Virgil

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Saga 188 ~To B New Virgil~

704 Days Without B III, Day 145 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you having a good year, seeing as I’m from the past, the future… whatever

Time-Travel is way past my pay grade Braxton. And speaking of time, you know why I’m talking to you on Saturday, December 31, 2022. Today, this year, already fucking hell! There are better ways to start the year. Am I right? It’s my third cry of the day this morning. Braxton, by the time you read this, how many times will I have cried? And more tears are coming. Remind me that I need to see to it getting time off for Tuesday, January 31, 2023, and Feb 1. Ok, Triple B, I’m going to stop crying now. Then again, Virgil might be awfully confused by the change. “You’ll be like lil’ John Q and get a change of heart.” Do you think so, Braxton? Yep, still looking up music.

Ludacris? Both the man and ludicrous my existence. Both cruel and, as for now, necessary. Though I want to say, highly unnecessary. But again, Virgil is here. And how does he know me? Indeed do you know me at all? The day you went away… I wish I had too. The fact that I’m writing this at all (sigh). Unless, by some miracle, I’m not going to do something STUPID today. But again, Little B, I have thought about it. Anytime I open my eyes. Indeed the moment you took your last breath, I closed my eyes. Brand new me. Unfortunately for me. Anyway, this is a brand new year. “It’s a new world, it’s a new start.” Again with the music. Nothing new, B.

I can’t even guess what might be new because of how far I’m jumping. No, not like that, Triple B. If I am keeping my promise… that’s one of many reasons B III. You know, going crazy over Triple X or something like that. Once again, RAGE driving me bonkers. How about thinking that Virgil Vivi could be you somehow? I don’t even remember “Me Before You.” Or I just don’t want to. Hell! I’d give anything to be who I was… perhaps two weeks before you died. And every week I write, I’ll be the person you think, Braxton. Virgil would be better off. But then again, you might have lived. Yet how to see the man in the mirror? To B New Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 187 ~It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Humiliation Galore and Shame. One means going to the Day Job or anywhere, sigh. Shame is what I do here. But one makes me want to die, the other, well… not so much. But either way, whatever I do, my poor little guys. It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Saga 187 ~It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and they’re prone to Humiliations Galore. But at the moment, that ain’t me. Only it’s coming.

I bet by the time you read this; I’ll have plenty. I mean Humiliations and not dollars, considering it’s Sunday, January 1, 2023. Time-Travel? So what does that mean? I’m sitting here, lamenting the week that has yet to unleash its true horror. Dammit, Inspector. I have far too much on my plate at the moment to begin imagining my fucking Day Job today. I might be getting back into the motivational genre, considering my watchlist. That doesn’t mean, “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” Or “Three Little Birds” has made it Inspector, playlist-wise. DON’T WORRY should have made it into the New Year’s Resolutions. What do you think, Echo? Sadly, I think way too much. And again, that will be plenty embarrassing, B III, 2V. These poor boys of mine, Echo.

But what about today? I’m not embarrassed, but these actions are either shameful or weird. And for the record, shame and Humiliations Galore are different. Shame is, let’s say, most of the porn I watch. Humiliations Galore is what I showed Braxton’s Aunt. Um, whew! The shame is to spend cash I don’t have on things unrelated to Yabbos. Humiliations Galore is begging to see said Yabbos. I’ve only wished M Anime and Cherry Happy New Year. Ulterior motives are humiliating; the Day Job shows me that more on any given day. Once again, today, and I mean Sunday. It’s shameful not to feel any gratitude, Inspector. To know that in a particular time, I can fuck up and then… I don’t know or care.

Whatever, I’ll waste money on streaming channels, books, and sex toys. And speaking of books, what am I reading? Cherry’s published novel is out this New Year’s Day. Inspector, the things that I will do; whenever a pretty girl is involved. Testament of men. Inspector, it’s far worse when it comes to one of my boys as I think about all that has happened. We started this on New Year’s Day. And now it’s Tuesday, January 3, 2023, huh? But the fact is, I got up at all today and went into the Day Job, and for what? To provide. Only I neither did that nor kept my resolution; I’ve failed Braxton. For the other. Inspector Echo, to exist with me. It’ll B Embarrassing, Virgil.

703 Days Without B III, Day 144 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 184 ~Virgil, New Year’s B~

WillLeave a comment

It’s easy to make a to-do list, New Year’s Resolutions, and Six Impossible Things when you never get anything done. But here we are, Day One. I’m out of bed. Tripping because, as I want to tell him, unfortunately, Virgil, New Year’s B.

Sunday, January 1, 2023

Saga 184 ~Virgil, New Year’s B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Even if you had my funds, you wouldn’t celebrate the New Year with such wasteful noise. People…

I swear it sounded like they were trying to shoot down the sky or something. Considering who’s “up there,” that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. If B III ended up in Hell. Then he’s waiting for you. He’d know better than most that’s where you’re going because you ain’t moving. Even with the New Year. “Happy” New Year? So you remember. But I doubt you’ll ever come back to this. The year started off stuffing your face with Strawberry cake. And now, crying twice. And it hasn’t been a total of six hours. Waking Up At 4:00 Every Day. Now, why don’t you tell yourself why? It’s that time, isn’t it? Stupid as it sounds, you’re debating thirteen, fifteen resolutions, and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING XL Candy Cane by Frankie Love
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Today, tomorrow, the thirty days that separate now and January 31… Worrying about now sounds right. Hell! It’s the only advice I don’t need to give, and you’d listen to. Asking you how, with the Six Impossible Things that repeat themselves. You intend to make thirteen to fifteen resolutions. Thirteen, and yes, you went back to “Log 188 Bold, Willing, And Able,” “Gospel 183 Bang And A W…” and “Chronicle 184 Have A B Year.” “13 Women (And Only One Man In Town) or 13 Tools of The Gods in your novels.” Damn, do you remember that series! But Braxton was fifteen when he went away. So you consider that a lucky number… Not for him, it wasn’t. He got away from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined At Sometime Today
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Anyway, as you were saying, what needs to get done today? Besides talking to the rest of the girls because this week will be Hell on Earth. So the usual but more exhaustion? There will be more bills to pay, adding HBO Max. And a new movie coming out this week, M3GAN. Whoever said that you don’t have a plan? Only you won’t admit it’s a good one. This brings us back to Day One. 700 Days without Braxton. Four months with Virgil. Does V make the cut of things this year? You will have to see. But as for right now (sigh). Advice? Think about Braxton. The one soul you’d go through Hell with. And now there’s Virgil. The Future? Virgil, New Year’s B

  1. I WILL Keep Virgil Alive
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL not masturbate… until my “sex toy” arrives (months away still)
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals. Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS
  14. I WILL be TRUTHFUL
  15. I WILL LOVE someone

700 Days Without B III, Day 141 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Last day of the year, and I am six inches more or less (snickers) from falling back asleep. And there is so much to do today. 1st of Tha Month and year tomorrow. Get busy living or dying… Hell! I merely exist, and what about 2V? A Busy B Virgil.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be sitting on my ass exploiting somebody, Lunalesca. Well, on my ass…

But I am far from taking advantage of anyone. I’m too busy for even that today. Well, that would be a first. And that’s what’s keeping me busy. Preparing for the “1st of The Month.” Well, the first of the year. Besides bursting into tears, Lunalesca, what am I thinking? Today it’s more like what I’m trying not to imagine, and no, not “pornographic passions.” Hell! I had to put the phone down because if I saw one more person who had a great year. If anything, I wasted another year of existence. And I never asked for this Lunalesca. Today though, there are decisions to make, like what will be the first book, the first bop, and the first bill of a new year.

This will be the second year without B III. And bring on the waterworks Lunalesca. Existing in this place; existing in his place. And speaking of which, where’s Virgil now? Back on his pillow. And I wonder how he will do with all the noise that they’ll be tonight. That’s another thing. While Braxton was/is my best friend, and Virgil Vivi… well, as I say at the Day Job, usually, “I’m Here.” Like the song plays, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Virgil, like B, has no stepmom. Did I mention no porno, though there is a dryer here? Ha-ha! And for Virgil to protect his siblings. Well, I’d have to acknowledge him first, Lu. A mistake to give a heart to anyone or anything.

But do I regret doing that for B? I regretted everything in 2021, for sure. And what about this year, 2022? Fuck! On Friday, I bought a pack of all-lime Skittles. New glasses, hmm. Well, the business of a new year because I may have resolutions Sunday. No promises. Now I can’t tell you what the first book will be, though I’m leaning toward more novels on mourning fur babies. At least for the first one, Lady Lunalesca. Remembering Braxton? What will be the first song? I need to think long and hard about that one. To be sure. The first porn? When I wasn’t talking to you, it was all “Street Blowjobs.” Last day of this year. I’m not happy. A Busy B Virgil

699 Days Without B III, Day 140 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

WillLeave a comment

The worst thing I’ve ever read? Braxton’s Final Vet Bill? The Certificate of his Cremation? Any paycheck from the Day Job? The alarm clock? I wish I could say I’ve been reading something good. But no fairytales, only sleeping. Virgil’s Reading Away B

Friday, December 30, 2022

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford all these places for Chinese food, hot dogs, and ice cream.

But what about books? If anything, I hope to get through “Christmas Grump” before the first. It feels wrong to read holiday books after the first. It’s like eating breakfast for dinner. It’s something I don’t do. But if I hadn’t got all those shrimp Thursday, Sophia? For a moment, I was about to say there was never a time I didn’t bring food back for B. His Aunt, of course, could call me on my bullshit. That time we went out one weekend, and I ordered onion rings… Didn’t I also say something about that the other day with Virgil? It seems he can no longer stand for it. At least, I hope so, as he walked in here. Am I not sharing food?

If only he could read receipts and understand peppers and onions aren’t good for him. Hell! I’m not good for him, considering I’m not reading anything appropriate now. I think of Braxton as my son but Virgil. Well, I thought of him as Braxton for a bit, and since he’s not, hmm… Lady Sophia, I should start reading books on disappointment. Besides not yet finding the clip of when I stopped jerking off when B died. That’s what I was trying to read on top of all the porn. I was up at 4:00 AM, right? It’s 6:30 AM, and now we’re talking? Four hrs later, at 10:00. I should read the bills for V. I instead read while he pees “off” his bathroom pad.

Should I read things on dog behavior at the start of the new year? I know what I want. I want more books on dead/dying fur babies. And to have a good cry at them like this year, okay? Is there anything on how to stay awake? Because I’m sure, I’ll fall asleep at the end of this chat. I went through a self-help chapter once upon a time, and there’s Dale Carnegie. I need to be reading that bill for the fire department and sending it off before I get in trouble. The tab for the car shows it’s a little late for that. Virgil understanding Day Jobs? Lady Sophia, if I did, I’d try making more money… Writing ha-ha. Virgil’s Reading Away B

698 Days Without B III, Day 139 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

WillLeave a comment

Being a billionaire, as I claim most days, I’d build my own world in the house. Going to space involves too many people to deal with. But now I still have a stranger/fur baby in this house. So many strangers this week. “The Stranger’s Virgil, B”

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

697 Days Without B III, Day 138 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you still here? I only ever asked that once. The Saturday before you left.

I haven’t cried for you yet today. It’s still a little early. Though I did cry when the alarm went off. And currently, I’m watching “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life…” You know me, B. That’s After watching some porn in the bathroom. V is sleeping now. The thing is, I would have no problem sending him back… to your room, B. There are plenty of days that I want to go all Whisperer and say, “You are where you don’t belong.” How many times have I said it, Braxton? It’s been 138 days, Braxton. Don’t they say it takes 90 for a fur baby to acclimate? With you, I’m not sure, but you were a puppy. A Jedi. Fearless

But that hasn’t been me these past few days. If Virgil ain’t you, then is he me? Sometime this week, I said I was Virgil. Hell! I’m scared to death of everything and everyone, B III. One more reason to cry. Between three different humiliations at the auto shop. Day Job. Oh yeah, Triple B, the Humiliations Galore continue there. And those are nonstop B III. There was my first UBER ride, which was a new experience. Excuse me, four humiliations. The ride back to the house. Although you were never one for driving around town. Inevitable the shame that will be coming to me soon. I have to go to the post office. And should I get the car rechecked? More like my brain

Then again, I had you for that. Only now, B, I can talk to you “Anytime.” You’re everywhere, yet I want you right back here next to me. I don’t mean to be a dick, but I don’t want this usurper lying here. I should have thought of that Saturday, August 13, 2022, right B? Only I thought I saw you. Somehow, someway, I was listening to you. Promise Braxton. He remains a stranger to me, even after all this time. And I’m still being a meanie. Do you think? For example, yesterday I went to that hot dog shop. A pepper dog, onion rings. I didn’t feel like sharing with Virgil. After a late lunch, Virgil and I didn’t speak. The Stranger’s Virgil, B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Urge to write? It’s more like fear because today is going to be damn hard. And I could go all Marvin Gaye “When I get that feeling….” But the only thing I want to do now is puke and go to bed. The urge to live the boys did/do. “Urge To B Virgil”

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Saga 180 ~Urge To B Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I’m not WOKE… I cry a lot, and I spend others’ money. I’m Virgil.

Inspector, I wonder if Virgil wants to be Virgil this second, which saddens me. Besides Braxton being gone and all. Of everything, I can say about my son. Survival? Braxton’s last look. I go back and forth with it, but today I’ll say B III wanted to live Echo. Ironic that I am the same way. But we’ll get to that. You know I’m one for physical pain over any mental anguish. Take today, for example, Tuesday, December 27, 2022. I’ve wanted to puke most of the day because I am so humiliated about the car. Hell! I barely made it to the auto shop before the wheel gave out. And now, today/tomorrow, you know what I’m going to do. Day Job’s Humiliations Galore incoming.

Because the urge to live… Not want or need but the notion. And you know it’s one I should ignore. I didn’t Monday. And today, as the world crumbled, I had to get pretty STUPID. More like perverted? Because I don’t want to think with a big head. Bigger head? Inspector Echo, was that a dick joke? I wish I were only making jokes about it but this fucked up day. Well, this whole fucked up year. I’m going broke. But no, not my cock. And an urge to release. Obsession is more like it. I should find out when I stopped before, but that was before Braxton died, and afterward, it was like 161 days. 559 days later, I had to cover up again.

Only Virgil sleeps in B’s Room plenty. Today it was all about survival, then masturbation. I haven’t even cum in a few days, but I only want to sleep. I don’t mean taking some naps. As I said, I was surviving today. More like I didn’t want the humiliation of dying on the road. I swear, Inspector Echo if Virgil weren’t here right now… But he is so Doordash, anyone? I can’t have Virgil Vivi starving, so I ordered a bag of food for him. Myself? I seemed to have lost my appetite. An urge to, well… should I say it? Inspector, you’ll see this tomorrow, so don’t you fret. Unless I get lucky, the alarms fail. Then curse the day. Urge To B Virgil

696 Days Without B III, Day 137 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

WillLeave a comment

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that jazz. For now, the house is silent. Braxton would snore a bit sometimes, and V is like white noise. I’ve always expected to hear the pitter-patter of two-legged feet. But this “Christmas Virgil, B Happy?”

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’ll try your best Captain America impression. “No. No, I don’t think I will.” Be positive.

It’s Christmas, after all. But you’ve never listened to me before. If you started, that would be a Christmas miracle. Well, you’re up before 7 AM. A good start for a Dad. Not his Dad. Let’s start over. AHEM, Merry Christmas, Braxton… wherever you are. And Virgil is a sleepyhead. He’s learning from the best. So how do you feel today? Um, be grateful ok. Well, when we finish our conversation here. Or Virgil needs to go out. Whatever happens first (gives a stern look). Maybe if you grow a beard, you can be more like Santa. And you did wear a mask the other day when shopping. There’s something positive; you have to give Virgil his gift. And you didn’t leave him crying yesterday.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Rescue, Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As for you? You’re going to cry today… goes without saying. And not only because you have a little fluff ball smashed against your leg trying to claim the bed’s center. Or because of all the shit in the world. The car, the air, the fire department. Your new toy? You should watch your language today of all days. And do we really need to talk about sex, baby ha-ha? Oh, you did say Merry Christmas to all the girls this AM. I wonder why? You know why. That’s life. Well, seeking to make life. But only one of those ladies might be interested in that. You’re only interested in going back to sleep. Consider today good practice for things to come. A new year?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING XL Candy Cane by Frankie Love
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s coming sooner than you know. Focus on now, ok—this Christmas, what comes next. Well, for a moment, you could forget about Six Impossible Things. Like always? Anyway, you have the big breakfast you promised yourself and Virgil, his first one here. I mean, sharing pancakes and such. And if you hurry, you can start napping away. Again you can prepare yourself for the future. And speaking of which, only one day will be a real test this week. You can never underestimate the Day Job. Humiliations Galore. You can have faith that everything is going to be alright. Bob Marley or Jacob Marley, you decide. And I’m hoping you choose to be “happy” too much. Be better? Trying… Merry Christmas, Virgil, B Happy.

693 Days Without B III, Day 134 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t know better, I’d be all, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Um, the only Christmas colors I’ve seen have been on “book” covers. And the toys I got the boys Friday, no holiday tags. But V sees a day I’m still here, and B… “To B Leave Virgil…”

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Saga 176 ~To B Leave Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That… is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be.” Especially tonight, right?

I wonder how Virgil feels about that. Day 133 for him here. Most having been spent waking up in the dead center of the bed. Terrible choice of words considering for the past 692 days, Braxton has been beside me in a box. Where is “my” positivity, Lady Lunalesca? The only boxes there should be are the ones under the tree. That is if I had bought a tree. The car sounds that way, creaking like I’m carrying goodies galore. Or car sex, whatever, ha-ha. Lady Lu, I should be grateful I kept my word Friday. There are gifts for the boys and breakfast. Well, minus hash browns. But pancakes, sausage, and bacon. And didn’t I say I’m not going out again… on Christmas Eve.

If Virgil knew the “man,” I was on December 2020. I could go back and look… Ok, so that was a mistake eww. But what has changed, Lu? I looked up Angie Griffin, “Cindy Who.” This evening I’ll continue reading “XL Candy Cane.” I was getting to the good part where the “princess” was about to suck on the candy cane.” Lunalesca it’s inevitable. Today ain’t the time. But again, Gospel 176 ~ Will’s Christmas List IV.~ Didn’t mention B. Anyway, as I was saying, I’ll read and then I have to find something other than breakfast food. Braxton and I would watch the Official NORAD Tracks Santa. Memories Lunalesca. Hell! Tonight is the second night of the year. I wake up at 7AM. snickers

I haven’t been time traveling as usual because I don’t have to face Humiliations Galore. But after Christmas? Only Virgil believes that every day as the song goes, “Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday.” That’s one thing he shares with Braxton. Faith misplaced Lunalesca. Much like my Braxton’s. And as for my own, at the moment, there is none. Santa, Satan, Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. “Give me something to believe in.” Is that you, Lu, and this? Chronicle 174 ~B Come Home For.” How I want to believe Lunalesca, as Virgil does. That may be his first gift to me, his first lesson. Yet, he’s still young. Two years but with me… They’ll be no Merry Christmas. But, To B Leave Virgil…

692 Days Without B III, Day 133 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t say “merry” was the first thing I looked up. But the words Merry Christmas will be everywhere. I know I ain’t leaving the house come, Christmas Eve. Virgil’s first Christmas here, Second without B III. But, two gifts to buy. To B Merry Virgil

Friday, December 23, 2022

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’d be happy. Only every Billionaire I know is raging against the world. Ah, Misanthropy…

Which is something I’m getting a hefty dose of today. Because I’ll be damned if I leave the house on Christmas Eve. And as I told B yesterday, I left on Christmas for Chinese food. How I hate people. No, No, I’m not being racist. I mean every damn body, as I did my accounts the other day. And what about my son and the other fur baby living here? Are Braxton and Virgil getting gifts? A second Christmas without B. And V’s first real gift. That’s about as merry as I’m going to get. Speaking of which, I don’t know any Marys… well, outside of faith. But what about Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry? The goodness of my heart, to just being horny…

Despite thoughts of hedonism, I can’t go broke in pursuit of this. Again, while I was working on the books the other day. Because the fuck I’m going to write anything. I was trying to figure out how I could get them all gifts. Sophia, I can’t forget Ma. Two presents. But allow me to be a selfish prick and ask, what about me? I have nothing but respect for libraries and would like to visit them. But I’m glad I don’t have to check out Christmas Erotica. I finished the 52-book challenge I put on myself; thank you, Bill Gates. But when you’re reading a book called “XL Candy Cane.” I swear my tortuous methods. Call it Masochism? Sophia, it’s like the song, I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.”

Though I fancy myself more one for Sadism. Which is why there are no people here. Who me? That is the least I can ask for this Christmas. M Anime considers me a man. But I won’t be unwrapping her under the Christmas tree. Fuck! Braxton’s ashes to ashes boxed. I know I’m not merry today and haven’t been for how many years? Especially Braxton. And what about Virgil? When this year ends, I should start reading about doggie behavior. Or how about the maid I tried to bed, that I cooked for. I keep saying I need cookbooks. Only as you can see, misanthropy, hedonism, and Sadism. How about a menu for good Chinese food? My grocery list? Affording anything? To B Merry Virgil

691 Days Without B III, Day 132 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will