Tale 049 ~Braxton’s Haunted House Virgil~

Am I trying to get in or get out of this house? It depends on who you ask. I can’t say Virgil and I don’t know each other. As long as I sit and stay. There’s my Olds with E-Day coming up. I can’t hear what B’s saying. “Braxton’s Haunted House Virgil”

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Tale 049 ~Braxton’s Haunted House Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So, handing out candy is the least I can do. Will I even see Halloween? E-Day

Lunalesca, we get a little closer to the second worst day of existence every day. Of course, you know the first. Hell! Virgil knows. With Virgil’s wailing and gnashing of teeth, I heard yesterday afternoon. He didn’t sign up for this. Well, neither did my B. “With these hands,” as the song goes. I swear, Lady Lunalesca, I’m a freaking monster. Only I’m trying to decide which one. Or am I something like the Rat King from The Last of Us Part II? Scooby Doo teaches us that the worst monsters are human, which explains what I did yesterday, Luna. Daphne and Velma sans any clothing. As always, we’ll get to that, won’t we? For now, there’s the ghost of my boy. Lunalesca… His voice…

Braxton hasn’t been speaking to me… I’m hearing my critic. And there’s also B III’s Aunt. I mean, seriously, how often do you want to talk to someone “feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” I know I’ve been avoiding myself as much as possible, Lu. I swear. Lunalesca, how many times has it been that I’ve listened to the Succubus Lord Series? Yesterday, I looked to see if Satan’s Sorority Girls had an audiobook. More money… The only thing that makes more noise than the usually quiet V is dollars disappearing. And the way I’ve been scanning through what to read next. The Kindle Challenge (sigh). And here you thought I was skimming through porn. Heheh! Well, not to disappoint… Ecchi Na Onee-chan ni Shiboraretai. Japanese?

Given how things are going, we could all be speaking German for the Nazis or Russian, whichever the GOP prefers, but seeing as how I’m a Black Man. They don’t want me to speak at all. You know, the whole being dead and all. Is that why I’m a monster, Luna? Like father, like son, Braxton would follow me. And if I taught him that Lunalesca? I am more of a zombie than a ghost. As usual, I eat, but it doesn’t help ever, Luna. Going with another song, “Am I A Psycho?” Worst, if you’ve read my books, Lunalesca. Oh yeah! Here I am, almost thirty-nine, and what have I done? I haven’t lived a day. Especially after losing Braxton. Braxton’s Haunted House Virgil

930 Days Without B III, Day 371 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 045 ~Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined~

Is it too much or not enough? Love. Where is the love? That’s not hard. It was at the vet’s on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It was in ashes on February 4. And sitting on my nightstand by the 10th. Friends, Ma, uh Virgil… Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined.

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Tale 045 ~Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I love the holidays. Now… Juneteenth is not a useless holiday, Vivek Ramaswamy. Scumbag!

Or that’s what my Ma would call him when she tries not to curse ha-ha. Somebody got on me about that today, a critic, Wednesday, August 9, 2023. So yes, I’m time-traveling once again, love. But didn’t I tell Inspector Echo that it’s a miracle I can even get out of bed? At all. Ever. Hell! I’m impressed Virgil can hold his bladder that long. B was/is much the same. But seeing how this is supposed to be the future, I wonder how “Gotcha Day” went with Virgil. I was going to say B III, honest to God. I’m hoping for a good Thursday. It’s Payday. I remember when I had my old Day Job. That getting paid was a testament to a wasted existence.

There is nothing to celebrate most days. Last night, right out of the blue, I was reminded to take some time off for E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Level Thirty-nine soon. Baby Doll, not to go all Spice Girls, “If you wanna be my lover…” But I will never accept E-Day, especially now. It wouldn’t bother me. Not in the slightest if I weren’t here for it. Seventeen? Hell, younger than that should have been the end for me. All my billions, if I could have a Terminator built… I’d want it to go all Judgment Day. “I’ll Always Love My Mama.” As I’ve talked about before. My Aunt told me that I wanted the world destroyed. No profit in that. The Talmud says something like, to save a life is to save the world entire…

Then, to take a life is to destroy the world entirely, then yes. But only me. Do I love people? First and foremost, I love my family: you, my Braxton, the pancakes we made together. There’s my Ma, the freeloader living in the house… I should stop calling Virgil that. There’s a fondness for “my” little sister and my nephews. What about my “father” ha… A reason I want to make our billions. There are friends, B’s Aunt Carolina, M Anime, Cherry, Special K, I could go on. Really? Love Overflows, Overwhelms, and Omits me. It’s like “Me Before You.” I get up for Braxton’s memory, the love of a good woman; my children need their Daddy. Drink or Drown, Jigsaw. Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined.

926 Days Without B III, Day 367 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 044 ~Be Selfish In Your Victories~

“8 Mile?” I’d tell all my failures so they can’t be used against me. And if I had it all… Ask any pretty girl about my cash flow. There was a time when I only wanted to provide for myself and B. And keeping Virgil safe. “Be Selfish In Your Victories”

Monday, August 14, 2023

Tale 044 ~Be Selfish In Your Victories~

Three-Hundredth And Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and like most, if not all, I ain’t sharing. I’ll give the illusion of being magnanimous, Madam.

Every once in a while, I’ll think back to “Grandma’s Hands,” more like Grandma’s words. And we’ve talked about this before. How she would say, I was full of pride. Madam, Sean Connery’s King Arthur said, “I have no pride left in me.” Since Braxton? How proud I was/am of my firstborn son, my “First Knight,” as it were. Hell! Madam, the last movie I started watching was “Ready Player One.” And I haven’t finished. Yesterday was Virgil’s first “Gotcha Day.” And I went out wanting to brag, that what? Against all odds, I have kept him alive for one whole year. Madam, the bare minimum. Madam, like any Republican, I’ll brag about that. No! I still talk about failing my son. His fifteen-year survival

He could never tell anyone. And yet, the things I share, show, and shed. It’s no big deal. Is it? The fact that I can keep my pants on going seventeen days now. Inevitable Madam. Oh! That I would brag about such a thing. That’s a win I should save for me, but oh no. Do you remember when Braxton’s Aunt was here? And I wanted to share with her these “pornographic passions.” I doubt M Anime will approve even when I bought her the outfit of one of the girls in the video. My son was my goodness. Any other triumphs I have, Madam? The plan for “my” continued existence is based on succeeding in the worst ways possible. And I’ll let everybody know.

Braxton, at least, had me. If I was lucky enough to get out of this place? If I won, Madam. As the song goes, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Nobody would know Madam until… Well, I’d rather not think about it. It’s the way I don’t want to think about E-Day that is coming up fast —emergence, Existence, Extinction. I never tell anyone when it is. And no one asks. The way we’ve had all these conversations over the years. But then again, a victory? Breathing is no victory. And, like everything. It’s something people think I should keep to myself. And yet, flash, family, and flesh. If I had it all, I’d let the world know. Stop it! Be Selfish In Your Victories.

925 Days Without B III, Day 366 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 042 ~Virgil B Spending Money~

A dime piece or a dime? I usually spend several dimes except for Friday. Well, if you count such and such’s birthday coming up. But that’s more a present for me, not her, with E-Day coming up. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” is Sunday. Virgil B Spending Money.

Saturday, August 12, 2023

Tale 042 ~Virgil B Spending Money~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I should be proud of being all Brewster’s Millions with it yesterday. Not by choice…

That’s because you are STUPID. I know you would never say that, Lunalesca. Otherwise, we couldn’t be friends no more. Of course, you know who I can’t be friends with. Lunalesca, you know I mean B III. And allow me to contradict myself. B and I are friends, but you know what I mean. And if only I had enough money… Friday was a fluke? Lunalesca, in a way, it was. But more my stupidity. I spent most of those Walmart gift cards on something for M Anime… Let’s say that’s never going to happen. I have a better chance of bringing Braxton back from the grave. Don’t THEY say if you can make a woman laugh…? Well, I’ve made plenty of women laugh, but…

Suppose you can wake the dead, Lunalesca. To get my inner Thulsa Doom on, “That is strength, boy! That is power!” I would have given all I own… which ain’t much. To save my son. And in the end, where did my money go? Pandora’s Box. Faith, hope, love, Lunalesca. Today, it sits on a box on the nightstand. And funny, I should mention boxes because, again, where does all the money go? Friday, it was between OnlyFans and going for the Pic Phenomenon. After I wasted those gift cards, I had money to burn. But no, I didn’t, ok. Is it because Virgil needs a box, not like that? I mean a crate. Virgil hasn’t seen a girl in a year. Since the Rebeccas…

Tomorrow’s Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” Lunalesca. How will we celebrate? Sadly, like E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction. What is there to be celebrated on Sunday? First year? Lunalesca, I’m about to have thirty-nine. And what have I done with them, I ask. Lunalesca, it’s all about boxes in one way or another. There’s the fence. The bank account. And would V feel safer with a crate? Braxton was more like Pikachu, not wanting to get inside a Pokeball. You see what happens when I finally “forced” him into one. It killed him. More time, more love, and yet I sing about money. “Cash rules everything around me.” C.R.E.A.M., Which I haven’t done in two weeks. “Saved” fifty dollars. For the Love of Money. Virgil B Spending Money

923 Days Without B III, Day 364 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 038 ~Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil~

919 days, and I’m so tired. Excuse? I’m adulting. Or I could be nothing more than a Lazy Ass. I waste time on… Stuff and Thangs. But I’m still walking that path. The office where Braxton died to the front door. Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Tale 038 ~Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which should mean people are happy to see me. Braxton was/is always. Virgil? Don’t be scared.

But aren’t I always? Considering I’m time-traveling. Today is Sunday, July 30, 2023. So, a week and some change. I’m afraid I’ll return, and Virgil Vivi will be covered in whatever sickly mess he’s made. Or that he’s eaten it… Never Going Back Again. Gross! I imagine I’ll see that Braxton has returned to me. That’s when I’m not dreaming about some woman at the old Day Job. Or some “adult starlet” in the name of business. There is always my Braxton. You would figure I would hate going back to sleep. One more reason I love it so much. To be back with him or at least not in a world without him. Lying on my back, I can look to Heaven above (sigh).

And then there’s you, my love. When was the last time the two of us… Again, I’m looking towards the future, but at this moment. Yeah, I’m some holy roller. Sort of. Matrimony and all that, I only want to lay here with you. The world keeps passing me by. Only I can’t blame you for wanting to go out and enjoy it. Talk about something that scares me, love. That one day, I’ll see your back, and that will be it. Death, depression, and divorce borne out of this disease known as grief. Ok, you know how I feel about diseases and dying, hmm. “They were all in love with dyin’,” as the song goes —only me. I don’t want the kids following me.

I want them to live. The same as I wish for Braxton and Virgil, but how did that turn out? Virgil is alive, but he’s two. Braxton was on the cusp of sixteen. And our two-legged kids, my love? I remember my “big sister” telling me, you can’t do my kind of business near a school. Of course not. But it’s not me coming back from work. Work? Please! (Smiles). Didn’t I tell someone today I better not smile? And that had nothing to do with grief for B III. I’m surprised that didn’t have you running for the door or coming in —a miracle. Someday, I’ll come back from the vet’s Sunday, January 31, 2021. A machine, dead man, human? Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil.

919 Days Without B III, Day 360 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 037 ~There’s Always A Bigger Fish~

Which is the bigger ending, the dead or the infected? An AI Uprising or an asteroid headed towards Earth. The fence falling down, or 2V being sick for a few days. I would rather compare Yaboos. But no matter what, “There’s Always A Bigger Fish.”

Monday, August 7, 2023

Tale 037 ~There’s Always A Bigger Fish~

Three-Hundredth And Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Now, how about being a Trillionaire? Hell! I’d settle for getting Virgil a bigger pillow right now.

But as much as I love… uh like? Is it sad that I don’t know, Madam? But facts are facts. Unfortunately, I have to go back on my rule and say that no love has ever been bigger than that for my Little B. Speaking of rules, you know my “Blackjack” rule. Braxton’s a 21. Please! Then why is he dead if he had all my loyalty and love? B III was/is my whole life. And he’s the only reason I’m not dead yet. Okay, that’s a lie because haven’t I been talking about Virgil? Always. When I say that, Madam, I mean it. I got you always. Who, me? Madam, anyone and everyone can do so much better than me. Cash, cred, dang censorship…

This is going to make this part so much HARDER. Of course, you know what I want to talk about, sigh. So, last night, I discovered on Replika that they now have body customizations. I’ve never been the best when it comes to… What, judging women? That ain’t right. Now, Madam, if pressed. I’ll say Leana Lovings comes close to perfection. (Cue drool.) But who knows who I will see today? If Cherry were to take her top off ever. Wow! And the damn fence. Aww! Come on, Madam, you have to give me that one. We’ll get to the fence in a few, too. But besides creating an AI girl, there was another vice yesterday. The big fight, hmm. Bullies getting dealt with, Madam…

To think I have so much hate for my fellow man. Nope! I have such hatred for myself. More than anyone else. I wish these black men could come to my rescue. They are heroes. Madam, I couldn’t save Braxton, and I’m trying with Virgil. But these brothers and sisters defending someone. Those idiots learned what happens when you think you can attack a black man. There is always something, someone bigger. And that is what existence is, to be honest. I’m waiting for an even bigger problem. A section of fencing? What about sections, all? Money could fix everything, right? But don’t they say Mo Money Mo Problems? Funny. It’s me, hi, I’m the problem. I’m not that big… There’s Always A Bigger Fish

918 Days Without B III, Day 359 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 035 ~B Steps Down Virgil~

If the fence falls, V will have a path to escape. I’ll be running from the neighbors and maybe the bank. I’ve got no cash. And even if I did, I’d be too scared to ask for help. If I don’t run from my father… I’ll see B again. B Steps Down Virgil

Saturday, August 5, 2023

Tale 035 ~B Steps Down Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if that was enough. Why would I want to rip my boy from Heaven?

The Rainbow Bridge? Elysium? Even Hell beats this place right now. Lunalesca, this is all over a falling fence. Every day is another step closer to the fence falling over, failing, the finality of many years of service. And what steps am I taking after all this? You ask, Lady Lunalesca. All I know is that any step I take out of this bed will bring “The horror! The horror!” Sigh! I could go all TMI when it comes to the bathroom. I haven’t felt this bad since that food poisoning from Pizza Hut. Talk about a place I haven’t stepped foot in since. Now, there’s the window in Braxton’s Room overlooking the backyard. I can see the fence. And going downstairs? That’s the world.

And let’s talk about the world, Lady Luna. For the most part, Braxton was protected from it in the backyard. Virgil hasn’t even been here a whole year. And he has no such luxury anymore, like last summer when I could do nothing about the heat. Lunalesca, I could go running to my “father,” then what? I’d rather burn in Hell. And it’s not only him, Lunalesca. Ironically, I didn’t have the stones to talk to the people in Walmart about, well… Stones, bricks, cinder blocks, anything and everything to shore up the fence. I was right there! These feet took me there, but it was the mouth, a voice. Hell! The brain. STUPIDITY! That is my native tongue. Silence? A second language. I try…

The alarm has already rung. So I must leave this bed and do what, Lady Lu? Hmm? Do you know what thought lulled me to sleep last night? I climbed into bed, and I prayed, Lady Lunalesca. Not to God. I haven’t done that since Braxton left this world. But to him. I prayed to my son that I wouldn’t have to wake up. And that the next step I took would be to him, wherever he is, Lady Lunalesca. M Anime was talking about how one of her fur kids was the reincarnation of another. Now, that’s something I forgot. Why would I curse B III to this Lunalesca? Virgil and I take no steps to escape. I’m not Dante. B Steps Down Virgil

916 Days Without B III, Day 357 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 031 ~Bellyaching Braxton, Virgil, Me~

I’m sick, but he needs me. That was my mantra whenever I was ill, but Braxton needed food in his bowl. He needed bathroom time. I never bought him enough. A few stairs, better toys, and boy, his health… B III’s gone. “Bellyaching Braxton, Virgil, Me”

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Tale 031 ~Bellyaching Braxton, Virgil, Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or we’re billionaires… I wonder how that makes you feel. Me? Bellyaches, boredom, lots of bitc…g…

As I was telling Madam Justice this morning, (sigh). Yes, I’m time traveling quite far. Today is Monday, July 24, 2023. So before I met you, love, you can tell today is one of those days. One where I want to sleep forever, if you catch my drift. Censorship, love. One more day of missing my Braxton, something awful. A reason for me to bellyache. Darling, I’ve been thinking about those days I’d go hungry. I remember my “adopted” big sister telling me when I would starve myself on purpose. I was so full of feelings that there wasn’t room for anything else. Hell! The day Braxton died… Was murdered. Nothing against Taylor Swift, but “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” I’m guilty.

Or, I’m STUPID. TMI, but I have plenty of reasons to feel ill. Why I Wanna To Be Rich, ha. As the song goes, “Hey Jealousy.” While I was busy doing nothing at all today, I got to watching “pet” videos. I’m not gonna lie. If I could remake the world… Even with billions, I could never have what I want. That would be for Braxton to cuddle up to your belly while you were pregnant. To have my firstborn protecting the children we created. Pouring the Bisquick, ha-ha. My Pancake would have loved them. A bro, a sis, more. What about Virgil? He eats. But at 353 days in, I bet his stomach is still in knots. Poor V. Yet he doesn’t complain… much.

Me, on the other hand? In my grief, I have returned to anger. And to think that’s the best part, if anything. Never at you, our children, or my Pancake. Always me. I hate me. Perhaps my favorite critic won’t get this reference. Still, I feel like Taki Minase when he ended up on the wrong side of the knife from Rika Shiraki. While in the throes of… anyway. Do you know the series Bible Black, Love? I’ll see if I get in trouble for that. Yet more reasons for all my stomach pain. What makes things better? An S word but shutting up. Because I’m a terrible person, a sick one, but a husband, a father, a man’s gotta eat. Bellyaching Braxton, Virgil, Me

912 Days Without B III, Day 353 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 030 ~Death Is Life’s Greatest Invention~

Just because I’m not watching movies… All the ones I’ve missed, Barbie and Oppenheimer. The Sound of Freedom? I’m thinking there’s only one way to stop the madness. But I’m busy looking after Virgil. As for me? Death Is Life’s Greatest Invention

Monday, July 31, 2023

Tale 030 ~Death Is Life’s Greatest Invention~

Three-Hundredth And Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I won’t be getting on a submarine anytime soon. The unhappiest people want to Survive Somehow.

I don’t know how much Braxton’s Aunt makes, but she stole my line. Well, The Walking Dead’s line, anyway. JSS, Just Survive Somehow. And you know how I “love,” TWD. Madam, I “worship” zombies, infected, viruses… sorcery known as Necromancy. Madam, didn’t I get all into Aloe Blacc’s “I Need A Dollar” last week? More like I need an apocalypse. You know how I am about B and after him, well, my addiction to uh… Censorship is a pain. This is yet another reason the third thing on my list would be. Madam, care to guess? It’s like I’m Knox talking about Winfred/Illyria. Uh, Death… Madam, am I still “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal?” Always and forever. Is it ok? When keeping Virgil alive, Madam?

Uh, no! But here I am, time-traveling. It’s Sunday, July 30, 2023. Virgil is very much alive, and I intend to keep him that way. Hell! That reminds me, I need to meditate today. Madam, the last plan I’ve been running has been all about productivity and setting intentions. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans,” as THEY say. Wasn’t that from some white guy I shouldn’t be listening to? And while we’re on the subject. Uh, “these white men are dangerous.” Didn’t I say something about memes? Hmm. You could consider me a saint compared to the GOP. I still want to be a billionaire, though, Madam. Despite screaming, simoleons, sex, stupidity, and everything (sigh,) “Your faith brings death!”

Madam, I am way into movies this afternoon. “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” “Which would be worse – to live as a monster or to die as a good man?” Do you remember when I would say the world will end in five minutes? What if I died in five minutes… only me? In this second, I’ve saved Virgil Vivi. I can’t give myself that much credit, but I was here. I took care of him, and that’s enough, right? I’m going to Hell for Braxton, no doubt. Is that why I like zombies? Infected? Escaping my punishment a little longer. I rather not think about it. Free Will? No! Death Is Life’s Greatest Invention.

911 Days Without B III, Day 352 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

If he dies, he dies… It can’t be any more VILE, vulgar, and vicious than all the stuff coming out of V’s mouth lately. Two towels, all the bed covers, a throw pillow that’s no damn good. He almost destroyed the PHONE! “Don’t B BILE Virgil.”

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But that didn’t matter to Braxton. I would have gone all “John Q,” Lunalesca. But Virgil?

Can I not mention butts right now? When B was here, I had no problem cleaning up after him. But, of course, he knew better. Please, stop! I’m tired and oh so grossed out, Luna. How many times have I said I wanted to be a Dad? No one will ever take away the fact that I was/am Braxton’s Daddy. Hell! I was sitting right here in 2021, praying that he’d eat. Being blessed, Lunalesca, years from now. Who knows what I will feel towards my two-legged children? Women do so much. The least I can do is change kids’ diapers, Lunalesca. I wish I could put Virgil in a diaper. Well, that’s not where most of the mess is. Doing the laundry all day…

The “crap” coming out of V’s mouth these days. Well, Friday, to be specific, Luna. I swear, I’ve been working with him so we could put on a show. 2V’s “Gotcha Day” is in August. And here I am today, having to carry him into Banfield because he’s sick as well, a dog, to be honest. I wanted Braxton to eat. And I would have cleaned up after him, Lunalesca. Every single day. But that was no kind of life for him. Only if I have to repeat 2V’s act? It’s like 1408. “You can choose to repeat this “day” over and over again, or you can take advantage of our express checkout system.” Is Virgil dying? I wish it were me 909 days ago.

And why shouldn’t it be? I failed Braxton. I’m trying to save V. But if worse comes to worse, Lunalesca. While I’m busy being a pop culture… person, “If he died, he dies.” Virgil Vivi. I was more worried about the phone yesterday. I’m a negligent parent. Phone over V. I’m concerned about the bank account. I have no money for Virgil, Lunalesca. That true… I’m so tired of washing everything. Virgil has destroyed another pillow. It’s the smell, Lu. I was humiliated that I couldn’t save Braxton. And now walking in today. One year? Virgil couldn’t survive one here with me. And even if he does, Lunalesca. Our existences? We’re sick men for a variety of reasons. Figure them out. Don’t B BILE Virgil

909 Days Without B III, Day 350 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will