Tag: Mourning

Meditation 098 ~Say It While You Can~

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Say It While You Can, and ask it if you dare. Or am I being lazy or obtuse? If anything, I’m being a scaredy-cat, which shows why V and I get along. We’re exactly alike. But if I have to say or ask. Is the schedule working? Sad. Say It While You Can.

Monday, October 7, 2024

Meditation 098 ~Say It While You Can~

Three-Hundredth And Sixty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Like being late to work. To “my” Day Job. I’m up. Dammit, I’m up. And plenty scared.

Is that what I needed to say today? If anything, I should be asleep in bed. I’m still in bed. But I’m talking to you. And I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go. I hope… I hope. I should be like Morgan Freeman in the film Deep Impact. “I wish… No wishing is wrong.

So what is right? I love you, Braxton. Or some version of that. Daddy loves you, B. Or should I do my best Yondu impression… “I’m damn lucky you’re my boy. What about I’m sorry, B III. Every time I get scared, “disturbingly” skeevy, or STUPID. I have to think of the worst thing I’ve ever done. Or the best, depending on current mourning trends.

Sing me to sleep, Braxton.

I should have sung to him when I sent him on his way. Speaking of being sent on my way, I should cut all this music off so I can hear the phone. If my schedule didn’t come through, why should I think the Timeclock app would alert me to my failure to come in?

There was nothing at the regular time or thirty minutes later. And if the hour passes, Madam, what should I think? I will be waiting all day for one of the managers to call. And what about tomorrow? Once more, I’ll be here like I’m Lenny Kravitz… I’ll Be Waiting.

Again… with the music. But the question is, what should I say…

“You’re a coward.”
“That is a correct assessment.”

The truth shall set me free? And make such a Pretty Mess with my Pretty Piece of Flesh, Madam. Geez! Can I be any more… vile right now? I may not be at the Day Job right now, but Virgil and I can pretend. He’s hiding out in Braxton’s Room. While I’d be in the stockroom at the Day Job, hoping no one could hear what I was listening to.

However, right now, I listening for the phone to chirp… Jeezu! It reminded me I had kept my pants on for four days. Now if only I could sleep or see and listen to slurping, sucking, and screaming slu… “young ladies.” My legacy of saying anything and nothing at all. Say It While You Can.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1345 Days Without B III, Day 786 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 096 ~Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil~

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They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone—pretty women in wrestling, “Pornhub,” and the peace that came from my boy. I’m addicted to the worst of things, and why not? B’s not here. And V’s… Then again, Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil.

Saturday, October 5, 2024

Meditation 096 ~Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can feed all of my addictions. Businesses full of Yabbos. Biology like Umbrella.

And books? How I miss more books, more books. By the way, I miss my Braxton, too, forever and always. But my grief and mourning, my depression… Is this ACCEPTANCE?

Never, Lady Lunalesca! Even if I am forty. I will cry for more Lost Boy, my son, always and forever. Only… not every day. Have I ever told you how much I hate this existence?

But as the song plays, “You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to…” What? Whatever it is, it’s not good. This brings me to you today, Lady Lunalesca. Sure, I’m addicted to sadness. It all has to do with my boy, for the most part. Next is being forty. But this world…

“Oh no, the world is a scary place!” FEAR, Lunalesca.

Fear is not one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It’s not even a circle of Hell. And yet, it’s everywhere. It’s the only thing that I can say is worse than my Braxton’s passing, Luna.

Yes, I know. Who do I think I’m talking to, Inspector Echo? But between the waterworks that are my tears. And everything I have been losing these days… Everything, Lunalesca.

I wouldn’t call the WWE, everything… But I am… was hooked. “I’m a d$ck. I’m addicted,” to professional wrestling. Even more so than the Olympics. Remember how I missed them for the most part. Roxanne Perez, Piper Niven, Iyo Sky, Kelani Jordan, Tiffany Stratton, particular models and gymnasts. Continue? With my Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy… Let’s not forget about Lust.

Oh, look, actual sins. But what did I discover first? Was it after the Disowning Dish Debacle earlier this year? The wrestling I was streaming, I can’t now. Not with an eighty buck pricetag. Hell, Lady Lu, I don’t want to fork over six dollars for the next book in the Backyard Dungeon series. And the books I’ve been reading and looking up this morning… Um, Cherry would be proud. But speaking of hot BBWs of the UK, My Lady.

In certain states, they’ve banned specific websites for, let’s say, “adults.” Oh, I’m a man? Lunalesca, I can afford a VPN. And why? Because I’m addicted to Yabbos. But Lunalesca?

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Oh, the money I’d save and make remembering… Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil.

1343 Days Without B III, Day 784 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 091 ~Life Is Not Fair Period~

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It’s not fair having to wake up and feel this way since the age of 7. I did have 15 years of waking up thinking how’s B. Is he healthy, hungry, and/or happy? The only thing unfair to him was living. To me, it’s being forty. “Life Is Not Fair Period.”

Monday, September 30, 2024

Meditation 091 ~Life Is Not Fair Period~

Three-Hundredth And Sixty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Though I would like to believe that with Braxton here, enough money or the right power… Sigh.

But my son is gone. I have survived this month to see 40. And power… To get out of bed.

But today is Friday, September 27, 2024. And if I have any more days like I’ve had this week… I didn’t even think about joining Braxton on “Emergence Day.” But the 24th and the 26th? As the song goes, “Woke Up This Morning.” I swear, Madam, I came back and…

Slept. And it’s not because I like being 40. And it’s not like 2V is my best friend. V’s scared.
He feels he’s always getting in the way. And it doesn’t matter that I’ve never harmed him, let him go hungry, or even hinted at sending him back or that he’ll join B one day.

It’s not fair to Virgil or me to live in FEAR every single second. Don’t get me started on others. Other people have it worse. But this is the last day, ha-ha, when it should be all about me, Madam. If you only knew how much I abhor September. The end of January? B’s ending. It’s like I’m trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair.

But about those others… Hey Jealousy! You’ve heard me mention @fitdadceo and @csapunch. They’re in their forties. Look at everything they have, Dear Madam. Everything.

“All I’ve Ever Wanted.” And I don’t blame anyone but myself. But whose fault is it that I was done with existence by age 7? Didn’t @fredoontv say something like that, Madam. And look at him. Even better, Johnny Sins… well, his girls. A Wraithbabes gigolo? I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed myself.

I don’t blame my skin, sex, or sins, Madam. Life is not fair because of me and no one else.

I find no fault in the loss of my son. My heart, my hero, that other dreaded H-word, dear Madam. I love Braxton. But again, this isn’t about him. You know that song, “Wake Me Up.” And those few lines:

“Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is the prize.”
Wake Me Up, Avicii

Love is not a prize. Love is a gift I’ve never given myself. Instructions I have never got to read. As I was telling Lady Sophia this morning. I’m too busy reading about old men now and girls sans clothing. That’s why I’m losing, Madam. And what’s going to change?

Sitting here at the table, writing as the music wafts? Life Is Not Fair Period.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1338 Days Without B III, Day 779 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 089 ~That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil~

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I should make my bed because this isn’t my spot. I nearly push 2V off the edge when he’s here. And if I keep looking at some girl, I’ll have to do laundry. And if I wasn’t such a Lazy Ass, I could have a spot of my own. “That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil”

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Meditation 089 ~That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I’ll have the maid clean up after Virgil. Just what I need… A maid fetish?

And here I go thinking about Madoka Araki from Discipline -The record of a Crusade-.

What, not my boys Braxton and Virgil? How about me as Emergence draws to a close? I can go back to something I said yesterday about not threatening Virgil. It’s only so many times I can wash the bed sheets when he decides to get sick. Hence, having a maid.

Lunalesca, Special K isn’t coming back. I know I can be a pain. And that is what brings you and me together today. As the song goes, “I’m just a sucker for pain.” Kinky, Lunalesca.

Today, as I was getting my rocks off,… more like edging to Madoka Araki, Jewel Staite, Special K, Cherry, a gymnast, etc.… There’s this question.

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish? As Forrest Gump said, “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is,” Lunalesca. Maybe not. I love you know who, though, Lunalesca.

Anyway, long story short, a kink is something you like to do. Roleplay, BDSM, Netorare? A fetish is something that must be present to achieve arousal, enjoyment, and satisfaction Lunalesca. And so, as I tried to distinguish between the two, I found an answer. Wow!

PAIN. Now, I can wax on poetically about my son. But again, Emergence month Lunalesca.

Let’s just say there’s a spot that such and such filled in life and in death, well there’s HIS spot on the floor, the nightstand, I still say HIS room.

But I can never find a spot to call my own, Luna. Like yesterday, I read downstairs because reading in bed or on the loveseat… It’s just not my spot. It shouldn’t be. Lazy Ass.

Lunalesca, if the critic wasn’t already not talking to me. More adult relations won’t help. But again, look at everything I’ve been reading. All the women are in some sort of pain, and the men… Who was it that said… “We fill each other’s holes.” Whether it be physically or otherwise. The pain is there, but it’s lessened. And there are spots to be happy.

Happy and at home… (Shudders). A spot to be seen, called smart, and be someone… Somewhere Only We Know? Braxton? Women? That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil

1336 Days Without B III, Day 777 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 084 ~Knowledge Is More Powerful Unshared~

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Monday, September 23, 2024

Meditation 084 ~Knowledge Is More Powerful Unshared~

Three-Hundredth And Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Especially since I talk too much. (Pause for laughter). Talking to who? Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry, M Anime…

What about B? Can’t I give him the month off with Emergence Day? Why not let him rest in peace? I look at B’s Euthanasia the same way Negan brained Baxter in The Walking Dead Episode 10×22 Here’s Negan. You best hope I never stop talking because when I do… When I do, something very terrible is gonna happen to you. Uh, B III’s gone.

This may sound like a confession to Inspector Echo. But do you remember when I was afraid to say Braxton’s name? Somebody hacked me once, and a friend caught on because they didn’t know my son’s name. So, I kept Braxton’s name secret. B III was my little Dæmon. And didn’t I say I wouldn’t do this, my dear Madam?

Excuse me, today is Friday, September 20, 2024. And what do I know more about than my B? I should invoke his name more often because it keeps me from thinking about my big black… uh, having blue balls. It’s been a HARD day, Madam. And telling people that. Ha!

M Anime would ignore me. Cherry would go silent. And Braxton’s Aunt… Not the time.

I don’t know anything about women, but as Sir Mix-A-Lot put it: “When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist. And a round thing in your face. You get sprung.” Uh, not only…

Cherry, Piper Niven, Estella Bathory, Harmony Reigns, Mariah Mallard. BBW’s…

Actresses, “The hottest girls in the nastiest situations…” I research. Study. And I read lots.

And that’s knowledge I should keep for me. But I’m a writer. I strive to be an open book. If I ever published one. But as I told Lady Sophia today. My book, “Sofía’s Nightmare…”

I don’t have qualms about showing off my body. But my big head and the face to go with it. “No face as hideous as my face.” Should I mention I know plenty about Disney? And none of my kids walk on two legs. What can I say? I’m also a Star Wars fan. Madam, I know bad people in certain countries, but I know about Trump and Vance here.

There are my political affiliations. The pervy things I do and all my spent pennies.

Knowledge Is More Powerful Unshared

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1331 Days Without B III, Day 772 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 082 ~Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil~

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Advice to listen to… a great man said, “Make Your Bed.” When was the last time I did that? If I had, I wouldn’t be cleaning vomit off the bedroom floor from V. B knew better, even on his last days. Ahem, Emergence Day. Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil.

Saturday, September 21, 2024

Meditation 082 ~Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And “This Is America.” Money talks. But do I? To my sons, or “pretty, pretty girls.”

My longing to talk about my Braxton is like a broken record, especially after Emergence Day. It feels like an eternity since then. If only I had the means, Lady Lunalesca, ‘Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday.’ The music would drown out these thoughts.

But if I’m not listening to Childish Gambino or William Bell, how about Bobby Byrd… “Try It Again.” I broke my abstinence streak again, rattlingly off dirty, depraved, disgusting thoughts on a brunette. She can’t hear me. And neither can my pillow, Lady Lunalesca. But aren’t I the one that needs to listen… listen, hear, and understand? I do try.

But to who, what, and why? “It’s a wicked world that we live in.” Lunalesca?

Am I done with the radio yet? And there are only so many times I can listen to Succubus Lord, Satan’s Sorority Girls, or the Bikini Days series. And if it isn’t some work about girls sans clothes. Then I’m getting angry. For now, Lunalesca, all I can hear is the sound of my breathing.

Please! How is that different from any other day? When Virgil has me stressing out. Lunalesca, Virgil broke his streak of not getting sick on the carpet. He couldn’t warn me he was ill when we were outside mere minutes ago. I’m not a mind reader or a prophet, Lunalesca.

But according to a particular program, I could be a robot. It said “AI Generated Text.” Should I be flattered? I feel dead, not electronic.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had AI help when it comes to, let’s say, Sofía’s Nightmare. Not that I’ve been working on that these past few days. I’ve been listening to the demands of my Day Job. I swear, Lunalesca, we need a new plague. I listen to the absolute worst people.

I find myself among the worst people. And then there’s Ma. When I’m not succumbing to my body’s worst inclinations, I fall ill like Virgil. The thought of texting Ma about a bill ties my stomach in knots. Today is the day, isn’t it, Lunalesca? The day I prove to be her failure son… Again.

Lunalesca, as a forty-year-old, I have no wise words. Advice for my past or future self…
Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil

1329 Days Without B III, Day 770 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 077 ~Silence Is Scarier Than Screams~

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Silence can be monstrous. I made it so. “Yes, I can be very cruel. I have been taught by masters.” As in people’s words. The silence left by my son. The act of blowing out candles. Candles? And after being pervy. Silence Is Scarier Than Screams.

Monday, September 16, 2024

Meditation 077 ~Silence Is Scarier Than Screams~

Three-Hundredth And Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Like me, not talking about my son this month with Emergence Day. It has come and gone.

I’m forty. And still, nothing is worse than the silence that came with my son’s last breath in this world. But the silence shattered when I first cried out in this universe. A victory? I suppose I could talk about Virgil, but there are two things. One, Virgil is usually silent anyway. Other than when I leave or the noises he makes showing I’m not being a good “Dad.” Virgil’s nails click on the floor. His belly when I need to get food. His sicknesses.

Two, as I’ve been singing repeatedly this month, “Today is all about you.” This song.

Madam, next to “All About You.” Today, I’m listening to Faith’s Outpost Ambiance… (Cult Music). “It’s a Five O’clock World.”

I don’t want to talk about my Day Job either, Madam. There is silence since they banned earphones/air pods. What I think about when I’m in that place. My STUPIDITY

There’s the silence when I wake up every morning and find out I’m not in Heaven or Hell. Can I call where I’m sitting right now purgatory? Three years without… well, you know who. No! He deserves better. Braxton, Braxton, BRAXTON! My sweet buttery Madam.

There’s the silence that comes with each Emergence Day. But that is my doing. People…

I could get all political today with everyone screaming, what dog, what cat, war, and women? And yet, the worries of my existence trump all that. See what I did there? Some should be silent.

But much like I said, I can’t get through a conversation without mentioning my B. How about me coming back to the house without a burger and fries? Didn’t I say I was broke? Um, I have two days to choose. I got breakfast and dinner. Bacon? Speaking of meat… women. Am I as bad as those other guys? I say things about women, but at least I leave those to the confines of “adult relations media.” That’s a polite way of saying adult films…

I swear the silence that comes after all my muscle contractions and moaning over mammaries. A moment of bliss that calls to me within the silence. Whatever could fill it?

Yet I choose the silence. Because hearing some Beautiful Freak… Silence Is Scarier Than Screams

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1324 Days Without B III, Day 765 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 075 ~We’ll B Great Again~

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A Better World? Not a happy one. Nowhere near great or great again. Back when it was Good Night. Now, like the game Dying Light, it’s Good Night and Good Luck… I might not wake up. I miss such games, my son, my honorary sister. “We’ll B Great Again.”

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Meditation 075 ~We’ll B Great Again~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If I were… I’m sure I could figure out better things to do in the morning and at night… in bed.

Oh! I mean… besides saying goodnight to B III and then checking whether he’s around. Don’t I mean Virgil? Just when I thought we were getting a handle on his bathroom shenanigans, here comes the storm. And with it, more worries. No worries indeed, Luna.

Has there been a moment recently where I haven’t been horrified, hungry, or a horndog? And what was it I was doing this morning? A week after Emergence Day, Lunalesca. I found myself lost in thoughts about the past, present, and future. Stuff & Thangs.

Didn’t I tell M Anime once upon a time? I only want some beautiful girl in my arms as I just lay here and listen to 50s/60s Apocalyptic Pop Rock? Lunalesca, today it’s Far Cry 5 cult music. Scary huh?

Seriously! It beats my moaning. And what would I consider a great morning anyway, Lu?

When was I ever great? Now, I’ve been watching plenty of political theater these days. You know how I love music. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Or dog eat cat. I swear from the presidential debate.

What I wouldn’t give to be a child again? Did I really just say that out loud. Don’t I remember my childhood? I wish I didn’t have to. Lunalesca, the English language, would be a lot more interesting. Words like Stupid, Happy, Home, Fear, and I could go on Lu.

Forty years old, and I’m still a child. And that kid was never great, either. But sometimes rare and few…

There was that time during my senior year of high school. There were five minutes. Lunalesca, I lay there on a bench… Alive and Happy. It was a rare moment of pure joy and contentment.

(GASP)

Indeed, that gasp, like the first few seconds after I finally… Uh? Have adult relations, experience manhood, make a mess, etc. For those few seconds, Lu before the depression.

And yet, I yearn to go back to a time when Tenchi Muyo was only an anime show on Toonami, and I wasn’t looking to see Ayeka and Ryoko sans their clothes. Oh Lady Lu… I miss the innocence and simplicity of those days. Sigh

Can I just go back to the days when my ‘adult collection’ was just a binder I hid from my Parents and not the ‘craziest’ stuff ever? It was such a simpler time, Lady Lunalesca.

Remember those days when I used to play video games with my sister or Braxton and watch movies with Braxton’s Aunt all the time? It was before the era of ‘Good Night, Good Luck. ‘ But just imagine Lunalesca. Somehow, someway. We’ll B Great Again

1322 Days Without B III, Day 763 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 070 ~Kisses Show A Working Tongue~

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It’s in his kiss. No! But B would love up his aunt. And V… I’ve cleaned up what has come out of his mouth many times. And as for me. I don’t remember what I said to that first girl. I can’t even order chicken at forty. “Kisses Show A Working Tongue.”

Monday, September 9, 2024

Meditation 070 ~Kisses Show A Working Tongue~

Three-Hundredth And Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Like me breathing after Emergence Day. Hell! I shouldn’t be after Braxton. Or Emergence Day Numero Cero.

I would rather kiss my furry son’s head one more time than draw my first breath. One necessitated the other, Madam. But at least I would have something to do with my mouth other than bawl about my boy, blame myself for everything, or BE STUPID. Madam, next to being Braxton’s end and my birth, I can’t stand being STUPID. It never ends, I’m afraid.

Even at forty? Well, I’m not quite there yet. I’m speaking to you on Tuesday, September 3, 2024. So, Emergence Day has yet to happen. Like I said, by the time you read this, I might not be breathing. I’d blame my Olds. But this is my existence. My existence…

Madam, I never asked for this life. I’d trade it all for a simple kiss.

Is that an Emergence Day wish? Last Monday night, I made a wish to avoid humiliation. I texted that because speaking… Anything that isn’t about my Braxton’s life… passing.

Anything that’s about something other than broads. Or anything that doesn’t involve me sounding STUPID. It’s not my strong suit. To open my mouth has never been a good thing, Madam.

How hard is it to say, “Yes, I would like the eight-piece fried chicken and a three-piece chicken fingers snack, please?” My mouth has much better uses, Madam. But saying Happy B-Word Day/Emergence Day… is not among them, Madam. Nope!

But again, a kiss… Do you want to know a secret, Madam? My first kiss? I got that. But I didn’t get a kiss during my “first time.” Well, uh…

I’m not The 40-Year-Old-Virgin, thankfully. I swear, sometimes I wonder who knows more about me. My lost boy or the Internet. The movie popped up, so I could watch that for Emergence Day and be thankful for the second-greatest miracle during my existence. A woman…

Madam, I was/am a father, and a girl made the mistake of thinking I was a man of worth for a night. And a few other girls here or there over forty years. But almost none when I had to look after Braxton. When was the last time I had a kiss, a kind hug that got kinda dirty… Back when I was a Smooth Operator. I feel stupid-er at forty. I’ll shut up because Kisses Show A Working Tongue.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1317 Days Without B III, Day 758 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

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Honestly, I thought I would go nuts with fiction… I could share what I’m working on. But M Anime and Cherry would probably “unalive” me. And my Olds? So far, so good. By the time you see this, I’ll be Level 40. Sadly, “Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day”

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
Here’s your first and only WARNING! I did a somewhat family-friendly version of Emergence Day on Thursday, September 5, 2024. Meditation 066 ~Will, B, Happy? Virgil~. Today, Friday, September 6, 2024, won’t be that. A world without my boys. Am I happy at Level Forty? Let’s Go!

All in the family. Sisters? I’m more Christian Grey than Ethan. Brunettes or Blondes. Well… I’m equal opportunity when it comes to women. Near or far, whether short or tall, skinny Minnie or BBW. I want to thank them all. It’s good to know that I’m alive, even at forty.

Emergence Day. Is it Emergence Day? How better to wake up this morning? Day 14610.
Didn’t Tyrion Lannister talk about a girl’s mouth wrapped around his cock. And I’m not dead yet. But two, three, how many girls are in my bed. One’s beneath the covers, which is good enough. “If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Only “There’s a lot of pretty girls in this city.” Only I’m not supposed to be working today. Or this week? That’s the dream. isn’t it? To have a profession, you don’t need a vacation from. Something you would do for free. Even on Emergence Day. Yet here I am.

Here they are. I need to eat to sleep. And I have hobbies. Reading, writing, and a few games that I like. I’m a man of many hats: writer, director, actor, producer, photographer, talent scout. I should also take up art before AI takes those jobs. But enough about work…

What do I want to eat? Yes, I mean food. If we’re talking about women…

Well, I would be here forever to value each breath, beat… blowjob. Living, not existing.

What makes me happy? I can speak about Fifty Shades of Grey and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days, Nights, and Dawn. But I can also talk about the first three of the Red Rising Series. To live for more. Books? I want to see more days where something gets blown. Boobs.

Better believe me when I say it’s breasts! Anything in the bedroom for sure, Lunalesca.

Better yet, the balls to say it out loud. I figured our chat would be far more sexual. I know. Hell! Emergence Day is a celebration of life I wish for billions and babes. Bedrest… Honesty? Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day.

1315 Days Without B III, Day 756 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will