Tag: Power

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

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I’m sure Virgil was asking this morning, Where are we going, Dad? From one end of the street to the other and back again. And as far as writing… Did M Anime have another “nightmare?” Reading and writing in a warm bed. Lazy? That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But the last time I checked, treadmills didn’t cost that much. Neither did grassy potty spots.

I’m surprised my boys don’t hate me. Braxton crossed the rainbow bridge. And rests in Elysium or someplace. And Virgil, at the moment, is content to be warm and dry. It’s what you get when you wake up on time and decide to take a walk in the rain. A$$hole?

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” As I said, I woke up on time, but I’m still running somewhat late. What have I done, “living life like a bum” like I am, Luna? I finished “Backyard Dungeon 16” and started “Into The Wild Shadow Work Journal.” The sign of a good woman is that she makes you want to do better. B and V’s stepmom.

Lunalesca, that’s not M Anime.

And it definitely wasn’t how I thought about building a paradise with her yesterday. I talk a lot about wanting a family, and that would be my two boys. It would be Braxton’s favorite girl, who is like my sister… Uh, she’s better… And what about the two people paying the majority of my bills? My Olds. I’m a forty-year-old man. And I’d rather not think about it. Dear Lu.

I’m not crying. Let’s say that this is only leftover rain from when I took V outside, and I think for a moment, even he forgot about it. No people, no nothing. That’s bliss. Nothingness.

“I want everything, or nothing at all,” as Goodfellaz sang. Life or death, victory or defeat, Lunalesca. It’s the in-between…

It’s remembering how I was/am a good father to Braxton and trying to replicate that. Only there’s this little thing called mourning STANDING in the way. B III’s song choices.

“I wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand
Wish I could stay here
But now I understand
I am standing in the way.”
― Rupert Edmund Giles

There are those moments when I’m reading or fiddling with the phone when I forget everything. I can be Jacob, Eddie, or Cole in many different harems. The hero. Honestly, what game am I playing next? But then it ends, and I’m right back here. And I wonder what this place is. Like I said Friday, I was rewriting in the buff, M Anime’s Nightmare.

Cries Come Women, Come Country… Her “Hell” I want to make into a paradise. Luna?

No one can go there. There’s here and now. Poor Virgil. That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

1553 Days Without B III, Day 994 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 301 ~There’ll B Time, Dad~

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I’ve sat in bed more times than I can count, wishing for the end. I tell myself the world will end in five minutes, and nothing else will matter. But B died, I go broke, and in my head are four book ideas. There’s no time. “There’ll B Time, Dad”

Monday, April 28, 2025

Meditation 301 ~There’ll B Time, Dad~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… “And it’s not too late. It’s Never Too Late.” To what, hear the truth. Neither of us wants that.

“Should I say it out loud?

Yeah, I should. You can’t heal something unless you’re brave enough to say it out loud.

I’m scared, though. I’m scared to say it… which is why I have to.

Say the thing you’re afraid to say. I can help you. Say it out loud, no matter what it is, no matter how bad. I promise, I will help”
― The Last of Us

We’re not Republicans. We’re not MAGA, my father. You’re not screaming, “I don’t want reality.” Dad, you’re brave enough to face reality, risk, and the real. And what is that?

Well, if you’re going to be stuck in the past. Listen to me, Dad. Why can’t we be stuck together in those car rides listening to ROCK music? However, I would prefer you weren’t listening to this particular song from Three Days Grace, “Never Too Late.” Seriously, Daddy, I was so young; one or two when that came out. I hated car rides, not music.

Speaking of which, I remember when you came back, not from the bad place but somewhere you would write without me. I want to see you like that again, Daddy.

Because there will always be time to be sad, scared, to sing of “The Cursed Earth.” But to remember my little brother Virgil. Not your other son, but your son. When you and he walked along the same path we once did, before I got old, fat, and sassy. How I miss those fried stick thingies you would buy. Those days, my grandma would bring a lot of food. Or when you’d say, “Well, it’s E-Day.” And you’d be sad, but lobster and steak, Daddy. Honestly, why do you think I love my favorite girl so much? Yes, she had big, soft yabbos she’d let me lie on, but she also shared plenty of good things. Like my Dad being…

Happy? Now, that wasn’t you.

But there’s time, Dad. And that’s what has been bothering you for months. There is no time to make money. The Day Job, writing, and anything else you could imagine.

Honestly, you’ve been reliving the moment you would never see me again. B free indeed. But isn’t it time to be free of all that frightens you, of the very concept of fear, the fiend?

Because that is not my father in the mirror, but the man before my eyes, who lives by three words when it comes to me, Whatever It Takes. You will see me again, Daddy. Believe.

Someday, I’ll be the book on the shelf, the blush on a lover’s cheeks. A two-legged baby, perhaps. Because there’s time. There’ll B Time, Dad

“Funny how you can live a whole life waiting and not know it.”
From ― Peter Heller, The Dog Stars

“If you weep not now, when will you ever weep?
From ― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

1548 Days Without B III, Day 989 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

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I’m not singing “Bye Bye Love” because of my sons. My B’s memory and his little brother V’s life. But how can we afford to keep our bellies full, keep breathing, and be at all? Life’s a B, or I’m busy jerking to one. Ew! “That’s The B-word, Virgil.”

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I wish! At this rate, I would settle for a few hundred bucks. Or B III.

Suppose my firstborn son were here. My Braxton. I want to say I’d do anything for him. As Bryan Adams sang, I would tell Braxton, “I would fight for you. I lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I’d die for you.” If he were here, he would only ask me to be “The BEST Man I Can Be.” His father? I have his little brother Virgil lying right here. My little Virgil. My love for “them” is beyond words, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

Without the big bucks, how am I going to save us? How the mighty have fallen! Who am I kidding, Lady Lunalesca? I have never been mighty. But I’ve gone from thinking, if I had enough money, I could have found a way to save Braxton to keeping Virgil cool.

Bums lack that type of power. Well, this BUM, anyway. I’ve seen plenty of people who love their fur buddies. And here I am trying to keep myself and Virgil from living under a bridge, my lady. And if Virgil wasn’t here, I would find a bridge and I’d… Follow my B III on his.

Braxton sent Virgil to be a bridge to this life. A barrier to keep me from following him in death. And a beacon to the man I once was. A father. In case you ever wonder how Virgil got his name. But I’m not Dante. He only went to Hell. But I’m alive. And my biggest fear (for the moment) is being a BUM or “a creep. I’m a weirdo.” I trust you enough to share these fears with you.

OMG, am I right? Better I should drool over Rei Ayanami or Kallen Stadtfeld, Lunalesca. What? Is writing about Cherry’s Yabbos or M Anime’s bedtime terrors still not paying the bills? Based on the Day Job schedule I got last night, I had better do something. I got zero hours for one week. Didn’t I say I’ve been wasting valuable paid sick leave for what?

Not to be “Balls Deep In Love” with Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. First, Ew. Second, do I love her? Uh… We met through writing but never IRL, so… Third, I have to stop calling M Anime that. And focus on writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country” or any book. Erotica? Because I Never Can Say Goodbye. That’s The B-word, Virgil.

1546 Days Without B III, Day 987 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 294 ~To B At Peace~

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Peace be unto you. Unto you be peace. I miss sitting with my son and watching a movie. The Book of Clarence? Braxton’s favorite girl, and I watched that. But can I still afford streaming memberships? Such despair at being broke. “To B At Peace.”

Monday, April 21, 2025

Meditation 294 ~To B At Peace~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… “Can you feel that? Ah, sh*t. Ooh, wah-ah-ah-ah!” I’ll leave the singing to you, my father. I still bark.

But not now. You used to say that my barking said more than most humans. And at least when I barked, I was helping you out. We agree that most humans make too much noise. There are exceptions to that. My favorite girl, the future stepmom I never met. Cherry.

And what about my little brother, Virgil? I wish you so many things, my father. Somehow, someway, someday, today, I want you to be at peace. I wish you peace. Peace be unto you, my father. I know I’m getting a bit preachy. A little biblical… Like father, like son. But neither of us would be found in a church. Yesterday was Easter. So, dinner…

You know me. Food always made me feel better. Until…

Um that’s not what I came to talk to you about now. My resting in peace and all. No dad.

How can I sleep when I can feel it all the way from here? The Rainbow Bridge? Elysium or whatever. That big bed in the middle of our sunny backyard with food on every side.

Your depression and the danger you wake up to when you head to that bad place. You said that’s how you got me those fried golden sticks. But now what you feel the most is DESPAIR. What’s one more human word? You would cuddle me and tell me so many.

But peace? Even if I don’t understand it, I have seen it, my father, last night as Virgil cuddled you.

And all those nights we would spend with my favorite girl watching the glowing box.

There were the days after you came from the bad place and fell asleep. And as you closed your eyes you’d watch me sitting at the corner of the bed. You’d come to no harm.

However, when it was your turn, I’d sleep on your heart as you read books. And there were all the times I would lay on my pillow at your feet, and you’d write your stories.

There were days you would breathe afterward as if the greatest task ever was done. Sometimes, you’d kick me out to do “whatever,” watching certain things. You’d be finished, clear. Always unto you be peace, Dad. To B At Peace

“Why don’t we have a word for the utterance between laughing and crying?”
Peter Heller, The Dog Stars

“Because your question searches for deep meaning,
I shall explain in simple words”
― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

1541 Days Without B III, Day 982 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

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Sitting in “my car” stuck in traffic, hoping I could get a $5 Meal Deal. Fear was riding shotgun. Grief was massaging my shoulders… Where Braxton once sat. And Rage asked, “Are we there yet?” Bereaved, Butt Hurt, but to be Brave? The B’s Hurt Virgil.

Saturday, April 19, 2025

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Eff me! I wish that were a true story this very second. But life’s a bully.

Bereaved, it isn’t a b*tch. Amongst other things, such as the death of my son, Braxton. I think this is the first time I’ve shed a tear for him this week. Or is it the fact my eyes need the lubrication? I’ve taken Virgil for walks on the path behind the house four times, Lu.

It reminds me of good times, but the Rainbow Bridge it’s not. Lady Lunalesca, am I in such a hurry to see Braxton again? In a word… YES! As much as I fantasize about Cherry and her Mum, I beg to see M Anime’s Yabbos and start salivating over a specific model. I mentioned last week that she went private. It’s not good for her image. So, as RuPaul put it, “Supermodel, You Better Work.”

Butt hurt? Angry? Not at her, but at life in general. My God, Lady Lunalesca, this week was one for the books. Now, that’s something I’m angry about. Why the eff am I not writing books and editing. By this point, I should have had so many publications on shelves.

I could use the money. At this point, Lady Lunalesca, it’s what is scaring me the most these days: I’m broke… That, and the idea that I would wreck the car all for McDonald’s food.

“Calm down, Doctor! Now is not the time for fear. That comes later.”
— Bane (2012)

So what has brought on my fear and wrath? Honestly dear Lady Lunalesca, I could write a whole book on that. But if anything, everything that has to do with the Day Job. I can’t survive with or without it.

Be brave… Thou art courageous… Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. Oh, my dear Lu. I am terrified by the end of the month or a few weeks into May. I won’t have anything.

I’m afraid that’s about as much positivity as you’ll get from me, my dear Lunalesca.

Wanting to take Ellie and Dina to bed. Revealing secrets. No! What scares me is failing to take care of my boys. And as much as I hate myself, I stay alive to look after them. I am the keeper of Braxton’s memory. And a provider for Virgil. And as I sat there yesterday afternoon with my Grief, Rage, and Fear, my bullies… And I imagined when the money runs out. The B’s Hurt Virgil

1539 Days Without B III, Day 980 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 287 ~They’ll B Better Words~

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Love is a word used too often. But I believe love is the answer, too. Tell that to my sons. I wished B all the love in the world and…? V’s waiting. And with women, as Akon put it, “I wanna love/eff you,” But B’s talking today. They’ll B Better Words.

Monday, April 14, 2025

Meditation 287 ~They’ll B Better Words~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did I ever ask you if you had a good day as you asked me? Better not to ask.

Because even if I did… If I asked you what you were thinking of right now. Or how you feel about today and tomorrow. This whole week. But Thursday will be bad. It makes you shudder. You’ll burst into tears. You want to sleep away today. Like father, like son.

My little brother is getting a head start. But you won’t go cuddling into Virgil’s fur, blaming the tears on all that yellow stuff blowing in the wind. What did you call it? What does it matter? Humans have so many words. Even you, Daddy. Forty years, my father, and I am honored I got to share my fifteen with you. And you talked to me more than anyone with two legs. Good or bad

You had a voice, Daddy, and I miss it. Again, you talk to me every Thursday. But what would I like to hear? Could you just read to me, Dad? Could you sing “Watch it now, here he comes. He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” For I am far more than a prayer so many days ago when I would sit on the corner of the bed listening for the bad words, Dad. Humans.

I remember when you promised me that the bad words you were writing would make a better world for the two of us. Those words you would whisper to a future stepmom, who would understand.

My stepmom? Though I was happy being your son, listening to your breaths, heartbeats, beliefs…

That all you need is LOVE. What a word LOVE is my father. I listen, hear, and understand that one word more than anything. It’s my name. It’s Virgil’s, but you won’t say it yet…

It’s my aunt’s, my favorite girl. It’s parts of Cherry’s, uh… comfy spots… Yabbos. Dad!

“To my wife… that is not your business.”
― Gladiator

You’d say such things are none of my business. Like all the things you were telling M Anime last night. LOVE, like, LUST. Whatever. You feel alive. Daddy, you’re alive.

Existing isn’t the word, Daddy; it’s living. Say all the nasty, naughty, and nighttime words you want to M Anime or some woman that leads to you building a nursery…

However, above all this, tell yourself this, Daddy. I LOVE you. They’ll B Better Words

“Grief is just love with no place to go.”
― Jamie Anderson

There is no greater sorrow then to recall our times of joy in wretchedness.”
― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

1534 Days Without B III, Day 975 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

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Things I can say about my “girlfriend” but not my dog. “And I’ll tell myself I’m over you. ‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking.” Hell! No more yabbos and posing to dirty tunes. Hello, writing and depraved novelizations. Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, April 12, 2025

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Would it be evil if it were true? Evil prevails no matter what. But with money…

Braxton might have lived. I would be buried in Yabbos. And I would have all the time in the world to work on my book. M Anime’s book…? We’ll get to that. But you know, I’m just feeling so drained these days. Such is existing.

How is that? I’m only now getting up in more ways than one. Eww! But as usual, it was memories of my son and remembering when I was able to breathe. I’m still struggling with the loss, and it’s a daily battle. I’ve mentioned plenty that while “my” allergies are driving me crazy, there is one benefit. I don’t know if I’m crying over Braxton or if it’s all the pollen and the wacky weather. And speaking of the outside world, will I be able to cut the grass today? Braxton’s yard. Anything and everything for Braxton. Uh, Virgil’s here.

One more hi, yes, hello….

What about Good Morning, Virgil? I took him outside at sunrise. And I learned yesterday that the path where I walked Braxton has now been cleared, so it’s Virgil’s turn.

I need to get off my belly, though. It gets easier when the girl you’re simping for goes private. That explains pulls out list “Dark Shell,” XXX Pawn,” “Kuroinu ~Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru~,” “Voyeur’s Digest,” “Maxine,” and the covers of “Satan’s Sorority Girls.” And I’m also reading Backyard Dungeon 15. When a pair of Yabbos is that important. Something to look forward to. Honestly, they didn’t break me.

Again, we’ll get to that. It’s one Hell of a morning. And the fact that I needed to wake up.

Next week’s going to suck.

So why don’t I get out of this bed and say good morning to the Dining Room Table, Lady Lunalesca? I have six minutes to debate that. It beats saying hello to people any day.

Speaking of beating… off. Thanks to M Anime, I’ve still been working on a couple of novels. I never knew she could be so kinky, or I’m a bad influence on her. Like I am on you, Lady Lunalesca, as I list off every passion project I can think of. But I have climbed out of bed on this Saturday. I could be the forty-year-old man watching cartoons in bed.

But instead, I’ll say hello or hail to you, Braxton, Virgil, and my novels. Being productive… Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil.

1532 Days Without B III, Day 973 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 280 ~Wants, Wishes, Whatnot, B-Rated~

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I like to think that I’m a “Simple Man.” I’m sure lots of people think that I’m simple enough. And that my sons, four legs, fur, and friendship were/are better men. Both of them would make better Presidents. But me? “Wants, Wishes, Whatnot, B-Rated.”

Monday, April 7, 2025

Meditation 280 ~Wants, Wishes, Whatnot, B-Rated~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… not an enigma to be solved or with enough of my fur to be glued back together. A genie…

You wish to have me back every day. A few times every day. One more reason you either try to fill the world with noise or you crave sleep the same way I wanted McDonald’s. That sounds so good right now, but this isn’t the movie Bedazzled. And you don’t have $3.47. How much does a Big Mac and a Coke cost now? Also, you got what, a buck fifty?

Also, also, I’m not the Devil. I’m always and forever your son. Our bond transcends time and space. Whether it’s a real-time conversation or a moment in the future, I’ll always be your son. Daddy?

Today or next week, I am what you wish for the most. But there is more, my father. I promise you there is. Like Virgil?

“Ain’t got no money. Ain’t got no fancy car. Don’t live a life of a millionaire. Or a movie star.” But you’ve sang to him. He snacked with you on Zaxby’s yesterday. And even when the house was burning up. He sat with you as you read about missing… Me.

Honestly, Dad, I’ve got “Nothing But Love” for you both. Like father, like son, Dad. However, I can’t blame you for thinking that it is not enough. Fortune, fame… Everything!

“I ask for wealth, I ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love I can possess
I ask for God and his angels to bless me.”
Notre Dame, God Help the Outcasts

It’s your second wish. Your promise to me when I had everything. I wish you believed it. I would look at you and think, “The World Is Yours,” and in this moment, I am happy.

But you believe if you had me and money… Maybe…

You wouldn’t be afraid. That’s your third wish. To never be afraid ever again. Daddy? Dad, I could tell you, Be Not So Fearful, but I might as well say quit breathing or breaking your heart over me. How about not mooning over Cherry’s and M Anime’s Yabbos? My favorite girl… I can moon over hers. I mean, Dad, you gave me comfy spots, however…

Anyway, if we talked about Yabbos or what you’re afraid of right this second… Seriously, we would have eternity together. But you’re wishing for what you want right now, Dad.

To have me your boy, Elon’s billions, and to Live Brave because then comes power. However, hear me or don’t. All You Need Is Love. How? Wants, Wishes, Whatnot, B-Rated.

“But I don’t want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.”
― Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

“Without hope we live in desire”
― Virgil, Dante’s Inferno

1527 Days Without B III, Day 968 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 278 ~What’s Vitamin B, Virgil~

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Something with Vitamin B for 200… This is what I get for downing an energy shot at 5 AM. Speaking of something going off, there could be a whole lot worse. Things could be a whole lot better, too. More energy and less crazy. What’s Vitamin B, Virgil.

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Meditation 278 ~What’s Vitamin B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or, as Cody Rhodes asks, “So, what do you wanna talk about?” My son, Braxton. Duh!

1525 days ago… Virgil’s been here for 966 of them. We are not “Two Of The Lucky Ones,” he and I. Unless you’re counting the fact that I have this question. As my eyes water…

Am I crying for my Braxton, or are these allergies a Mother Effer, Lady Lunalesca? Honestly, I can’t tell if I’m just so sad or if I’m sick, open to severe sickness, or prone to serious injury like M Anime. If anything, we know I’m skeevy as all Hell, Lunalesca.

Inevitably, words like Prone Bone and Yabbos come to mind. But how the day begins. Braxton. Big Yabbos and Dollar, dollar bills, y’all. Or there’s worrying about Virgil, whose Yabbos are these and words. How I’ll make money and what…

Energy and time are enough for addiction. What am I addicted to? Not counting B…

Why did I wake up? I’ve talked about how the day starts with deleting photographs. But with less than four hundred remaining, there aren’t too many Yabbos left, Lady Lunalesca. It’s like I’m in a never-ending loop and cycle of pain memory-wise now that I can’t escape. The day begins, and I’m already exhausted. Always.

A dozen or so of M Anime, Cherry, and Braxton’s favorite girl. Everything else is… Depressing. I’m addicted to misery, which, if I have to define it, is fear plus forgetfulness wrapped in fur. Doesn’t that make Virgil sound like sunshine and lollipops, ha-ha? He and his brother both. And with the tears over Braxton and the sweat and blood involved in trying to keep Virgil alive, “Another Day.” Well, I have energy shots, Lu.

Finally, turning the AC on.

I was getting dehydrated with everything. I’m keeping it a nice 80. I can’t have Virgil melting. Like father, like son. Both frozen in our fears, petrified of the future, with our eyes locked on a gravestone. Well, Braxton’s resting place, anyway. Getting some sun… Lady Lunalesca, that would be Vitamin D. Before you ask, I’m unsure what it does.

Whenever I get a moment to stop thinking about Reika Kurashiki from Saimin Seishidou, Midgar’s Flower Girl, and M Anime and Cherry. And everything frightening.

For example, if I fall, whether I’m getting the right food and forgiving myself for whatever injury comes next. But my mind? No matter how many books I read, my boys’ goodness, or my bedroom antics. What’s Vitamin B, Virgil

1525 Days Without B III, Day 966 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 273 ~Just Look Up B~

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I’ve never prayed for better for me. I wish for better for my sons. That B ended up wherever good boys go. And if I were going anywhere than the 9th circle, he’d keep a warm spot by the fire for me. V deserves better. He looks up. Just Look Up B

Monday, March 31, 2025

Meditation 273 ~Just Look Up B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Can’t you see me? Do you even want to? It’s like seeing what time it is. You’re not late.

But I bet you never wished I’d be sitting on your head, serving as an alarm clock. Or a rooster… Fifteen years, Daddy and I never got to see one of those chickens in person. Or doggie. What was one of my rules? The best breasts, legs, and thighs came in a bucket or box. Ha! Remember those times, Dad?

But being in a box myself… Seriously, Dad, are you laughing at me? Are those tears of joy? Sadness? Or is it from that yellow dust flying everywhere? It’s storming outside. But how much of that got into my little brother’s fur? Virgil’s still white as a ghost or spirit.

Honestly! Virgil could be afraid. Or is he still a blank page waiting for you to define love for him?

You haven’t been writing about love a lot, my father. Pain, Pollen, and potential stepmoms.

Do you remember when I had to take my medicine? And you always had to put it in something good. Like father, like son. And this worked to my benefit. When you would go out. But you would come back with those golden stick thingies that would taste so good. Those were the moments I cherished, Dad. Those fancy foods…

Did I mention there are so many things to love about The Rainbow Bridge… Food, futons, and comfy spots galore, and the color fuchsia… Well, more like colors in general, Daddy. Though, like you, I prefer black and red. Our battle standard. Our flag. Representation.

The thing about that, Dad, is that you must look up to see it. Everything

Sure, there are reasons to look down. When you would pick me up. Don’t forget to pick V up. Mostly, you do that because you don’t like his panicky run as if you would shut him out. Like father, like son. You think I left you 1520 Days ago. But I didn’t. Only, Dad, you have me feeling a bit like Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come. Do you remember? It’s okay to remember. It’s OK to feel. But:

“It ends when you want to stop hurting (him)”.
―

When you stop thinking of my ashes and the dust-to-dust stuff, dream of the better world you imagined for me. When you see the words from your lap, put them on shelves. When Virgil’s on your shoulder like me, or you see my stepmom’s eyes and my siblings in your arms. Just Look Up B

“Raising the dead when it suits us…”
Raymond A. Villareal

“The only hope for the doomed is no hope at all…”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1520 Days Without B III, Day 961 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son