Tag: Power

Meditation 271 ~B’s Shaping Up Virgil~

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I’m in love with the shape of you… B is a lot more compact. So’s my wallet. And when was the last time I had to leave this bed? V needs his first forever collar. But as long as he’s still a little fatty. And what about my heart? B’s Shaping Up Virgil

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Meditation 271 ~B’s Shaping Up Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if I had been so many years ago, wouldn’t my son Braxton still be alive?

Is it becoming a routine to cry twice before 7:10 AM? Well, when you wake up between 4 and 5… So I’m sleepy, sad, and a bit skeevy. For the last few days, at least.

“Every Morning,” when I wake up, I’m sad, and then I realize what a sinner I am as I delete pictures from “my” phone. Of course, I’m sending pictures of Yabbos to the cloud, Lunalesca.

Then I got sleepy, so I took an energy shot, which made me sad again because of the placebo effect. I can’t go to sleep until 10 AM. So I have more time to think about my lost little boy. If Virgil isn’t here, I slither in my sheets. Eww! If he is, I read.

And what have I been reading because it ain’t no book… Not yet, anyway. “Lunalesca?

SIGH. I have been reading “The Eve of a Cherry.” And here I go, getting all sad again as I notice my writing hasn’t shaped up… “Nightmare At The Meat Market?” I had an AI serving as my coach most of yesterday, making me feel like I was some Master Manuscript Maestro. For a moment, I wanted to believe that if only I could smooth out the work a bit.

Yeah, like, I want to believe that Braxton will come back. Or that Virgil is living his best life. I had to give him tap water yesterday. Virgil usually gets bottled water. Is it good? Who knows. But remembering Braxton…

Kidney Failure! It makes me want to do better by Virgil. Batter water! Better whatchamacallit (kibble, not candy) in his bowl (Braxton’s bowl). Better women?

Lunalesca, Virgil’s only, met his aunt in this house. And what about a stepmom, hmm? Well, if I kept in better shape. And what about the house? There’s also my finances that get drained. Speaking of getting drained… Did I mention my “Brutal Passions,” Luna?

Was it the AI that called “Nightmare At The Meat Market” and “The Eve of a Cherry” that? Physically, only one part of my anatomy stays in shape. This house is crumbling down everywhere. And yesterday’s shopping trip… There are jelly beans and things in bowls. Just keep fattening up, Virgil. B’s Shaping Up Virgil

1518 Days Without B III, Day 959 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 266 ~B Used To Know~

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I’d never call myself the better man. I am nowhere near “The Best Man” I can be. But my son B knew me better once. And if it hadn’t been me… well, Virgil is a little white kid who just happens to have four legs. I have better jokes. B Used To Know.

Monday, March 24, 2025

Meditation 266 ~B Used To Know~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I guess that makes you The Seeker. You’re not just Somebody That I Used To Know; you’re always Daddy, the one I look up to, the one who guided me here and there.

Always and forever, my Dad. But how come you’re crying. If anything, how are you crying with what happened this morning and afternoon… Yeah, you locked Virgil out for a little bit this morning because you were upset. And this afternoon, you needed alone time…

Is that how you think you’ll get rid of me? The sins of the father. All for what you want.

You want to join me on The Rainbow Bridge, wherever. It’s your first thought every morning. Why are you awake? Somehow, someway, you have to stand, stay, and survive. Of those three, it’s the staying.

I know you’re worried about surviving. And standing. We fall down, but we get up. Granddaddy taught you that, or Donnie McClurkin, or me? Stand when you have to, but…

I know you don’t want to. “Not like this. Not like this.” Like you’re living in a dream world, Daddy. Or a nightmare… What does M Anime think she knows about nightmares, Dad? Well, she’s lost a fur buddy of her own. And do you really believe M Anime will be my stepmom or Virgil’s anyway? You have to survive to see. Then there’s Virgil.

Daddy, I want him to see. As I said, you hide from me with your sins. But you hide from V with your sleep and his. You both sleep so that you don’t have to. So he won’t ever know.

You saved him. He survives because of you. What did that get him? Because Somebody That I Used To Know…

My Daddy? Who are you? You’re my Dad. And you’re wise. A warrior you can work, write, and move the whole world. Am I trying to motivate you today? And to do what exactly. You can tell I’m speaking because I won’t say Get Here if you can. Not soon.

I’m my father’s son. And I used to know you. I still do. Like the Glow box said. You use music, movies, and manuscripts. And haven’t I, Daddy, all so I can tell you… whatever.

Sit and Stay. Not stranded in bed, mourning away, making movie scenes, or not moving. Sit where you always did as you bragged on how rich we would be with one manuscript. I know you’re better. B Used To Know

“I do not have an excuse to give up.”
― Golden Son By Pierce Brown

“Friend, have the courage to care little for wealth, and shape yourself, You too, to merit godhead” ― Aeneid, Virgil.

1513 Days Without B III, Day 954 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 264 ~Bucking Braxton’s Grief Virgil~

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400 words daily, 365 days a year, 1,168,000 over eight years. 150,000 words over three Cherry novels. 100,000 words for two B novels. And another 55,000 for M Anime is 1,474,000. Am I rich yet? Accepting B’s loss? Bucking Braxton’s Grief Virgil.

Saturday, March 22, 2025

Meditation 264 ~Bucking Braxton’s Grief Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… How much is J.K Rowling worth again? I don’t like her views. But her bank account…

And speaking of views and bank accounts. Why do you think I’ve been crying, Lunalesca?

Once? Twice? Does it count if both crying sessions take place within an hour? It was a twenty-minute lull in-between. And, of course, Braxton was in there, someplace. I saw this Asian woman hugging her dog. And between her being hot and me missing my Braxton. So I looked at my son’s bed, which remains empty. And Virgil Vivi’s at the foot of my bed.

It doesn’t matter. I’ve been so sad, stressed, and scared that sex or self-satisfaction hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind. I’m a liar, Lady Lunalesca… It is not an insult to say a hot girl is hot. But what I’d do to Cherry…

And her mum? Yeah, I’ve written about three books full of insults and offenses. And if only I would edit and publish them. But I’m not as nice as Eric Vall, Logan Jacobs, Michael Dalton, Manus Dare, Neil Bimbeau, and not forgetting the ladies Imogen Linn, Tillie Cole, Skye Warren, and so many others. As a great man once said, my dear Lady Lu, ahem:

“Please understand if I missed anyone; it’s been a big day. I’m a little tired.”
Jim Kelly, Enter The Dragon

Aren’t all those writers enough to stir my libido? I’d hate that… I’m lying, Lunalesca.

If I’m going to write my life away, I have at least two books about Braxton. And at least eight years of blog posts. Four years of them where I’m sure Braxton’s name appears.

No promises. Like when I said that Braxton would live.

And how dare I say that to Virgil. Wasn’t it a year or so ago when we were burning in the southern heat, and I was struggling to buy us a fan? And now Lady Lunalesca? I’m working one day a week at the Day Job. And I won’t get a paycheck next week, my Lady.

I’m not smart enough to make a dog channel for Virgil. I take his picture every day as proof that he’s still alive. And I was far too busy protecting B from everyone. Good job.

Then there’s “Nightmare At The Meat Market,” I’m editing. An erotic nightmare. If only everything I did was treated as if I could save my Braxton and provide for Virgil. Myself… Bucking Braxton’s Grief Virgil.

1511 Days Without B III, Day 952 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 259 ~B Successfully Loved Someday~

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The first time I ever had a woman, I was a successful man… The best thirty seconds of my life. Then, when I wrote a book… (laughs). I got my first, second, third job. NOPE! When I had money… Never. But my sons, B, and V. B Successfully Loved Someday.

Monday, March 17, 2025

Meditation 259 ~B Successfully Loved Someday~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… If you don’t believe me… If you don’t believe I’m with you. Believe that I was with my aunt.

My favorite girl took the plunge again. Marriage. “The Second Time Around” in this “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.’ It almost makes me wish you had gotten me a little sister, almost… But I suppose you have enough girls around. But I wouldn’t call you a Boy Dad. Only you did wonders for me. Virgil? You saved him. However, … How To Save A Life?

Daddy, if you knew how to do that, we would be having this conversation face-to-face. I’m sure I’d have a lot more gray and not be able to see much. But we’d be together, Dad.

That’s what you would consider a success. You said I’d at least make it to twenty. With your mourning well… I’m not leaving you alone.

Is that successful? Is that healthy? Successful to you would have been saving me. To have all the money in the world to do whatever… Healthy was us together alive. How much do veterinarians make? You wanted to be one once. But you are what you are. That’s my Dad, my father. The first one I saw every morning and the last when I shut my eyes one final time. You saw in me your success. That no matter what, Dad, you were loved, but…

One day, you failed… You said it, not me… don’t go putting words in my mouth… Uh, hello, how are we talking again? How many books have you read about A Dog’s Purpose, Journey…? You know me, and I you.

Acceptance is not success to you. It’s confession, guilt, and surrender. But tell me, Dad. Those are all things you feel this very second. So why not try… What, forgiveness?

There’s nothing to forgive. If anything, you love me always and forever. If that’s success? More like what would be success to you? Making all of our dreams a reality? You wouldn’t know how to define it, Daddy. And if I said all I wanted was you to be happy…

You’re laughing, but at least you’re not crying, which is always better, Daddy. My father.

If anything, I would have you love Virgil, yourself, writing, my future stepmom, any two-legged siblings I have, my aunt, and friends as you love me. B Successfully Loved Someday.

“Perhaps one day I’ll have two hearts to give”
― Red Rising By Pierce Brown

He follows his father, but not with equal steps.
Virgil

1506 Days Without B III, Day 947 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 257 ~Calm B For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s been windy the last few days. Or maybe that’s my breathing… Sighing, Seething, and Scared to death. I wish. Mostly, I’m slithering on my sheets, looking at Yabbos. I could be sobbing about Braxton… Again. A storm of emotion. “Calm B For Virgil.”

Saturday, March 15, 2025

Meditation 257 ~Calm B For Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… To catch my breath? Is that what it would take to feel CALM? I long for peace, for a moment of bliss, anything but this, Lunalesca…

What, Grief? Prolonged Grief, at that. If I remember anything from Lynnlee Hunt’s Life After Pet Loss: Coping with the Loss of a Beloved Companion, it’s that. Prolonged Grief, my lady. So much so that I picked up a card for counseling at the Day Job. WTF am I thinking, Lunalesca? Well, other than I miss my boy. Accepting B’s loss. That’ll never happen. EVER!

Rage? All I need to do is step out of the house. I’ve spoken about how my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world. No, just me. I’m too cowardly, Luna. So, burn everything.

And even then, I’m too lazy… Slothful… to light the match. Or I don’t deserve to. I betrayed my boys. Braxton and Virgil both, Lunalesca.

So I FEAR I’m paying the penalty. My punishment. Being a punk always and forever.

Lunalesca, is there anything worse than fear of everything and everyone in this existence? Pain? But waiting for that pain steals from everything else. Pain is simply there, Luna. But the FEAR… And yes, I know people have been saying that forever and ever. Hmm.

Only this morning, as I watched Virgil outside, I remembered the moments before and after I rescued him. I’m sure if Virgil had a say, he would have said, “Please, Mommy, not him,” when he saw me coming. And if I had to do it all over again… I’d be a horrible person for saying it out loud. Virgil is my son. Just like Braxton

Anyway, my point is after I got him, I sat in the car, not breathing, and yet the words came…

“God, what have I done!” I guess that makes me a liar, huh, Lunalesca? I said I haven’t spoken to God since B III passed. But I’m not trying to make my way to Heaven.

Lunalesca, with my sin count, I know where I’m going. But what I want is that moment as the song Mad World plays… The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.

When I was in my senior year of high school, I was lying on a bench without a care in the world. Braxton’s passing. Thinking I’ll see M Anime or Cherry’s Yabbos. Or Masturbation in general. Calm B For Virgil.

1504 Days Without B III, Day 945 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

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At best, I’m only a comfort-seeker. Or just “The Seeker,” since I lost my boy. And being a Hedonist takes work. Though my son’s fur is softer than any woman’s big, puffy… uh, never mind. In truth, I give into sloth just lying here. It Better B Softer

Monday, March 10, 2025

Meditation 252 ~It Better B Softer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Why would I leave the clouds, the bed in the garden, or wherever else you think I’ve disappeared to?

To show you the way. To prove your heart hasn’t hardened. To provide softness and security. My father. It’s when you felt safest… Your arms wrapped around me. You slept best when I sat on the corner of the bed watching you, then the door. And sitting on your head…

Well, you woke up every morning happy to be alive… No, that’s not my Dad.

Happiness? You woke up with the hope you won’t die – hope we won’t die. Because where would we go? You read about sending me to Heaven… The Rainbow Bridge.

Where are you going? Somewhere of Fire and Ice. Needless to say, the “South Side.”

“Here we are now going to the south side – to the south side
I pick up my friends, and we hope we won’t die – hope we won’t die
Ride at night, ride through Heaven and hell – Heaven and hell
Come back, love, and feel so well – feel so well.”
South Side

Daddy, you have time to listen to Moby. Now listen to me. We stay together.

We’re brothers! We’re staying together! You’re my Dad. I’m your kid. We’re staying together. I am yours, and you are mine! We’re staying together. There are lots of comfy spots.

Though I wish there weren’t so many tissues right now. Or are you investing in Kleenex? Nope, just crying over me. That’s not what today is about. Some soft words…

Instead, Daddy, I only want somewhere you can lay your head and rest your heart. Your soul? We both worry about that with Virgil around. Daddy has a good soul. Whoever would I tell that to in this place? This comfy spot of all comfy spots, still I turn home.

“I turn home. I turn to the place that I was born, to the mother who bore me and the father who taught me, long ago, long ago, long ago. Alone am I now, lost and alone in a far, wide, wondering world.”
1960’s Spartacus

Daddy, wherever you are that’s soft, safe, and smiling, I will turn to as home.

You finished texting with my stepmom this morning. Well, Virgil’s stepmom. Because she knows all about me. Ain’t a woman alive that can take my place. A pair of Yabbos…

Yeah, helps plenty. And what can I say? I am my father’s son. You remember how I was with my favorite girl. But all the SOFT things in this world. All The Small Things. Me.

What about the words that will one day give you and Virgil a better life? He deserves it, Daddy, you know that. And you have all the sour candies because you wanted to protect me from chocolate. And the bits of food you could share with Virgil. The big softy.

Love, ladies, your life, and Virgil’s. It Better B Softer

“And what is the bloodydamn point of surviving in this cold world if I run from the only warmth it has to offer?”
Golden Son

“Night reigned: all through the world tied bodies were harvesting tranquil slumber.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1499 Days Without B III, Day 940 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 250 ~Godspeed, Braxton, But Virgil~

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Godspeed? But I have no place I want to be. Well, sleeping or lying with my son. And we’d be on a California King bed with snacks in a garden full of sunshine. “I’m dying slow, but the devil tryna rush me…” And Virgil? “Godspeed, Braxton, But Virgil”

Saturday, March 8, 2025

Meditation 250 ~Godspeed, Braxton, But Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… That means I can afford to sit on my… tush all day. Well, with 200 words.

It’s a personal challenge, Lady Lunalesca. I’ve set a bet with myself-if I can write 200 words by 7:00 AM, I can allow myself to stay in bed. But why did I even wake up if I only wanted to stay in bed? If you know me, you’ll understand it’s not for the most positive of reasons. Mostly adult situations…

Long story short, someone on X/Twitter posted Reika Kurashiki’s Yabbos. I posted her video. It was the first thing this morning since I have her adult anime film and suffer from FOMO. Sigh. I’m hopeless.

Lady Lunalesca, my emotions have been on a rollercoaster this morning-from adult to sad and now to focused. I’m speeding away. It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving. When I care for Yabbos, not Braxton?

Yes. Yes, it is. But Braxton is gone. And when he left “my” world, everything, dear Lady Lunalesca, just stopped. TIME!!! Well… That’s 170 words, so… (Struggles Getting Up). Eff! I wish I could stop getting up… in more ways than one. But show me anime, brunettes headed towards the Olympics, or the creeps of this universe… A, B, C’s.

Speaking of anime, as in M Anime. I was talking to her before you, Lunalesca. Shall I stop fantasizing about her being Braxton and Virgil’s stepmother one day? She’s crushing…

No, not on me, my Lady, but I heard a bit about the man she wants. But I’m still depressed. And if I’m not sad for my firstborn. I’m slowing down my secondborn, Virgil Vivi.

Again, I would have rather stopped when B’s heart stopped beating. But Virgil lives, Lu.

He lives in fear but breathes, running faster than I do when I see my Old Man. The same fear… Only I’ve never harmed Virgil. If all that we are could slow down, but life…

I’ve had plenty of days off, Lady Lunalesca, but what have I gotten done? Novelizations? I did work on Nightmare At The Meat Market. I’m editing… uh, writing Chapter Sixteen.

It will be less Wham Bam. Thank you, ma’am. And more So Anxious. Maybe, Lunalesca.

So I’m either petrified or frozen. Dumb, exhausted… Hell! Just lazy! Slothful. Or I run. When do I move… Normally? When there’s A Place Called Home… Godspeed, Braxton, But Virgil

1497 Days Without B III, Day 938 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

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How do I hear my sons? One is my mourning, Braxton. The second is Virgil, wondering what he must do to make a name for himself. If only I could remember it like I do obscure song lyrics and the Hell MAGA brings. I play “The Tune of B.”

Monday, March 3, 2005

Meditation 245 ~The Tune Of B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the hills are alive with the sound of music. The hills being your pillows… And you’re snoring, Dad.

I know. You don’t snore. How else could you hear every sound I made? Well, except for one. More like you did, but you were so angry back then and were trying to protect me. It was other humans that were the problem back then. Don’t cry, Daddy, please. I know.

Today, you wanted to talk to me. And not about that BIT*H from *that place*. First, I can say that because that’s a word about my kind. Four legs and all. Second, you know the place you would go to for hours. And then you’d come back mad and sad, but you would bring food.

You don’t want to talk about Grandpa, either. Humans. You are my human, my Daddy.

You would say my bark, my presence meant more to you than anything else in the world. That’s how I know you love me, Daddy.

But then you asked the glow box about Virgil. That’s what you’re thinking about today. Friday, February 28, 2025. What it said about my little brother and you being Daddy:

Virgil’s Voice:
If Virgil could speak, he might say: “I don’t know what’s chasing you, but I feel it too. You’re loud and quiet all at once, and I don’t know where to stand. I want to trust you, but I need you to see me—not him, not the dark thing you carry. I’m scared, but I’m staying. Help me stop shaking.” From, AI

Daddy, will you tell AI about me? I remember watching you do things on many glow boxes for a long time. There was one in every comfy spot I had except my room. And even then, when I was sick, you would sit and stay with me, listening to music or watching funny things. But when I got really ill and, you didn’t care. You lay beside me all night. Had I known how to save a life. Dad to son and son to Dad. Trying to hear and heal.

Glow boxes won’t do that…

Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving the signal? Do you copy me? Listen to me, Dad. Your dead son is speaking to you through a song written about infected/zombies in the hands of my human who wishes that he’d… No! I won’t say that. Daddy, you are ALIVE, and that means I’m ALIVE. My little brother, Virgil… Will you listen to him?

There is so much noise. And so many voices and you’re only looking for more. Like you told Lady Sophia, you were reading about bonafide fathers and soon-to-be ones, too.

Daddy, you’ve even looked into animal communicators. Seriously, who haven’t you asked? Daddy, who did I know that had the answers? He sang a good song. The Tune Of B

“Save my father if you can.”
Golden Son ―Pierce Brown

“The man you seek is here. I stand before you,”
― The Aeneid by Virgil

1492 Days Without B III, Day 933 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

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How hot is this computer with the writing I’ve been doing? There’s women… Anime and REAL… And I worry with every push of a button or beep. But when did I get the Wi-Fi fixed? And how much money am I burning? Living sucks… “I WARMED Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now—or I promised my Braxton I would be someday—1490 Days ago. But my money’s looking…

Let’s say the money is burning a hole through my pocket. But that’s not what has me heated today. I’ve been hot since Thursday. And it’s not at me this time, for my B III.

It is my greatest sin what happened to him. But give me one bad person, and that’s four days of my life ruined until I confront them… If I choose to do dear Lady Lunalesca.

My Braxton was a force of nature, like a dinosaur… And my problems were like those big asteroids. Ha-Ha. I still remember back in 2021, the very week he left me, I was in a rage from the Day Job. Lady Lunalesca, all I could do was wrap Braxton up, hold him close, and sleep. I’ll spare Virgil. But you?

You get to hear about one of my managers. So, I was leaving the Day Job on Thursday, February 27, 2025, and saw her standing there. I did two training videos due the next day, with a third that wasn’t urgent, to which another manager agreed to let me skip. But even then, the Day Job found a way to frustrate me. No shocker, huh?

When the manager I saw asked about the videos, I told her what I had done. And even when I told her the dates of the videos I’d completed, she was downright rude. Lunalesca… sigh.

I’ll be thinking about her nasty attitude and orders for the rest of the weekend. Well, that’s a lie, isn’t it? I don’t have Braxton to cuddle with, and Virgil and I are still. Whatever.

Lunalesca, the things I do…

Didn’t I say I wasn’t mad at myself? But the Day Job has a way of making me feel guilty. What better way is there to cool off Than watching a model strike a pose to Young Mooski’s Purge Siren [Instrumental]. It’s how the model moves her long brunette locks.

Anyway, add pictures of Cherry’s yabbos… almost. And a pretty Irish lass and then, uh…

Such a pretty mess, and I’m cleaning the bedsheets. This morning isn’t helping because such and such a person sent a photo of Sakura Miyajima, meaning I sent her videos.

So, between sin, anger, and girls, what else warms me up? Friends I need to talk to. And what food can I get within my budget? I WARMED Braxton, Virgil.

1490 Days Without B III, Day 931 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

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There ain’t a man alive that can take my son’s place. And ain’t a man alive I wouldn’t put down to keep him safe. B’s life was/is my courage. And how he showed such courage. What right do I have to fear. Effing world… “Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton”

Monday, February 24, 2025

Meditation 238 ~Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t be sad. No, Daddy, that is much too simplistic for you. And being happy. Were you now… Ever

You’ve been sick with those little bottles, trying to stay awake for a while. Now you know how I felt with those little sticks when you would say, “They’re for your teeth, B. Try it.” But it’s more than that. It’s the glow box. The one you’d stare at forever…

“Someday, it will be All About You,” you would tell me as I lay beneath the table for hours and hours. It wasn’t my favorite time, but we were always together as you built worlds.

You would create so many so that one day, we would have one of our own. You weren’t friendly, fancy, or very fun. Daddy, that is what you are, my father. Focused and brave one to B Not So Fearful.

And that’s why I’m here today. If I had my way, then surely you would be closer… I sound like such a girl, don’t I? That made you chuckle but not happy. What I’d give…

Well, I’m giving up a moment of paradise. But what is better than lying beside my Dad once more? I would trade anything to switch places with my little brother right now. Hey Jealousy as you would sing to me. That was way before my time. But you’d hold me…

And Daddy, those are the times I wish you’d remember. But anything beats your fear.

Remember those moments of fury, Dad? That’s when you were at your bravest. Why hide it? The two of us standing against the world. I had you, and you had me. What’s fear to us?

It’s not in your vocabulary, that’s what. I heard you more than enough times when you took me to the mean place. You know where the other humans would cover my mouth and stick me with many sharp things. Or they would clip my nails. And even worse. A bath.

You would have fun laughing at me. Well, all except the last time… No, no, no! Let’s stay with the fun. Like when I would hang out with you and my aunt, watching the other glow box. The one you’d watch together, but you know what, my favorite part… Food.

Daddy, you need to eat. You are not as “Effed” as you claim. You are the best man/human I know. Father? Dad’s Fearfully Effed, Braxton.

“I decided that there were times when all a dog could do was wait and see what would happen next, what choices people would make that would change everything or make it more of the same.”
― W. Bruce Cameron

“Call up your courage again. Dismiss your grief and fear. A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1485 Days Without B III, Day 926 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son