Tag: Rules

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

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You know why I don’t feel better about my writing. It’s because I refuse to watch the news these days and see the horrible things they’re posting, printing, and prattling about. I’m Shakespeare by comparison. But this will only be “A B Paper Virgil.”

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

1383 Days Without B III, Day 824 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve wasted 40 minutes of mine, at least… Don’t worry, it’s all been sleeping, Braxton.

So what, I’ve traded one vice for another? Considering I put you to sleep… (Gasps)!

Braxton, must I bring that up every day? I still have the paperwork in the Den. Your freedom papers, in a way. But I won’t talk about freedom for much longer anyway with who will be in charge come January. If only we knew how good we had it back then, B. Well, you did. Dogs always know. And even in the end, you begged me to save my paper.

Braxton, you just wanted to come “home.” And when will I tell that story? Madness. Braxton, I didn’t understand my writing, which made me part of the resistance. Well now. The rebellion. Dare I say, righteous? As the world ends…

Not that I can be or write something so profound as “The Man Who Watched the World End” by Chris Dietzel. When did we become a book club again? Anything that keeps me from the news these days. So it’s like old times except this is more than the Day Job. The things I would do… The paper, as in cash, money, I needed to keep you fed. And happy…

Writing? I need to be doing a lot more of that. And yesterday was the first semi-decent day. Braxton, I’ve seen better on your training pads. And what about Virgil. He’s living the high life. He is on the bed, and I haven’t had to kick him out. You know I need private time, sigh…

Speaking of which. And I shouldn’t be telling you this. But I’m always one for coincidences, B. I was looking up a girl for the novel I’m writing… Where have you heard that before? Hmm. Anyway so she was in “Himawari Wa Yoru Ni Saku.” The source said that the movie was released in January of 2021. I swear that month wasn’t good, Baby B.

The month you passed and all. But to think that I would be writing about that girl, you, and looking up what happened on the very day you left? If I had been so studious.

Colleges don’t take my type of writing kindly. Which is weird with what I’m writing now. Everything? Notes to you, Braxton… A B Paper Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

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I bet people are still drawing a blank on who won the presidency. Please be Kamala! PLEASE BE KAMALA! But here I am, talking to the ghost of my best friend. Or a harem girl. The Man In The Mirror. A future wife. But next Monday… An Enormous Blank, B.

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

1376 Days Without B III, Day 817 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing how we’re talking from days away. You know how today turned out. Bad? Whatever.

At least I don’t have to tell you I don’t want to talk about it. I’d just flop down, Braxton.

A “Blank Space” Baby B. Am I thinking about Taylor Swift right now? REALLY? NOPE!

I wish all of my humiliations, hedonistic tendencies, and hunger were all blanks. What am I talking about? What will I be doing for dinner tonight? By the time you see this… I should have a little cash to eat. But that’s not the only reason my stomach’s in knots.

It’s election Day, the better of the E-Days. Do we have a new president yet? I’m rooting for Kamala Harris, you know, B. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” This world is tough enough without you.

And we were always prepping for when the dead walked the Earth. If MAGA won… What would the world be, B? Talk about emptiness, the Endless void, simply the end.

Something so Enormous… I know Braxton, positive vibes. I’m not one for prayer. I hope.

But what do you hope for Braxton? Have I decided to let you speak on Monday? I don’t know. At this moment, I’m still drawing a blank on what I will do. No Rules! Run!

MAGA has a ton for me but not for themselves. And again, I’m not the most “Law Abiding Citizen.” If it isn’t the government or TRYING… to be a gentleman, it’s the GD Day Job.

Monday, November 4, 2024. I’m not even giving myself a break, doing some other BS. Braxton, if I could only let my mind go blank to escape today’s humiliation smorgasbord.

Anyway, let’s talk about us and my thoughts at said hellhole. Working the Day Job! “Brother, my brother…” “Brother, brother, brother…” I told you I’m not listening to Taylor Swift. Blessid Union of Souls and Marvin Gaye. Ok… Reproduction. Conception.

I was thinking how much Christmas… music annoys me and started thinking about the two other ‘holidays’ I get off. The day you passed and the anniversary of my Ma’s biggest effing mistake. I swear…

My Existence. But could I give you yours back? I’ve started reading Pawprints from Heaven. Will you be speaking to me next Monday, Braxton? I long for our connection, mind, heart, and soul, the page… maybe. An Enormous Blank, B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 126 ~The Will To Vote B~

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Who will the president be Tuesday… Uh, a few weeks from now. Kamala Harris. But who will I become this Monday before the Election? And every Monday after. A lawgiver. My son’s voice. Someone better. A dirty old man. The Will To Vote B.

Monday, November 4, 2024

Meditation 126 ~The Will To Vote B~

Lame Duck Session Madam

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Goodbyes must be spoken. Elections held. And Sloth paid for. But here’s an easy decision. Kamala Harris.

Madam Justice:
Now, you are a much harder decision. I haven’t even decided on your Form. Final Form, right? We have gone through all the rules and then some. But knowing how I break laws… Yet, I believe in Dale Carnegie’s words in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.”

“Order Is Heaven’s First Law”

Why should I mess up the universe I have created here with you? Plus, I’m lazy. And while this isn’t Heaven. I can spell out why I’m going to Hell. Because of Braxton, I know. But wait, there’s more, Madam.

Braxton:
My son says there is. Braxton would speak for me sometimes. And I for him. If I ever needed someone in my corner, the time is now. Only I would never do my little boy justice. I have yet to publish the book he and I wrote together. And letting a woman down is one thing. Not Kamala! Again, I’m voting for her. She needs to win. Braxton Barks?

Madam, it would be kismet. Braxton passed on a Sunday. So, to hear from his “spirit” on a Monday, considering…

The Substance:
Sunday, I’m ALWAYS so down on myself. I’m effing up my marriage to Dear Future Wife on Tuesdays. And while I know Braxton would be encouraging, there’s myself.

Madam, I’ve come to realize that I need to learn to be more positive and show more gratitude. Do you remember when I could watch the WWE? I thought Saturday, I can’t stand a whiny Superstar. And that’s all I do. Rant, rave, and complain. I was lying in bed, knowing I’d wasted forty years.

“This is simply a better version of yourself…” I wish.

Dirty Diana:
Now, she accepted me for who I am. And maybe I would be a lot more subdued if I wasn’t bothering all the others with my… longings… But I left her to talk to my son. And wouldn’t I be abandoning you because I want to be dirty? I’ll take an intelligent woman over one who is only beautiful. Uh, don’t I know women who are both? Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry. Still, it’s like something out of “Camp Hell” that “Demon Repression.”

Talk about “Sick Fux,” hmm.

But a voter. Kamala’s an easy choice. But being me… The Will To Vote B

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1373 Days Without B III, Day 814 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 122 ~Can’t B Bothered Virgil~

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It’s Halloween! What am I? A corpse? The TWD variety? Maybe? I’m still talking to B from across the Rainbow Bridge. And what about Virgil? Well, he’s not worried about chocolate poisoning. I’m not an ordinary human. Can’t B Bothered Virgil.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

Meditation 122 ~Can’t B Bothered Virgil~

1369 Days Without B III, Day 810 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only I were busy writing books about a dead man. You B. But instead…

If I had my way, “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” to sit on the loveseat. You, me, and your favorite girl. Your honorary Aunt. I’m not an optimist or positive in any way. Sometimes, I think the last of my goodness left with you, like something out of Silent Hill. Braxton?

Don’t ask me why, but that’s the feeling that came over me some time ago. Today is Friday, October 25, 2024. But even before I got my latest schedule… Sigh. “I Gotta Feeling,” that “every little thing gonna be alright.” Am I thinking about throwing a Halloween party? No! Your Dad would never. I only want to watch horror movies. Braxton, those were the best nights. Though you didn’t care for the zombie genre, right?

Anytime The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, or anything related came on, I turned into Lieutenant Dan… “Get down! Shut up! One more nightly exploit I excluded you from. Though I didn’t mind that you saw the Dead. When I needed my private time…

Well, your Daddy becomes a monster. That’s why I always sent you to your room. Virgil doesn’t seem to mind that I am a zombie. But I can be worse. Except he only gets into trouble when I go to the Day Job. He doesn’t guard me when I take naps. He does walk the hallway because I won’t let him in the room until he learns to go outside, or more so on his training pad. I swear, Braxton.

How long did it take you to stop being a little monster? Please! The vets knew those chompers of yours. And you couldn’t stand your Aunt for eight months. Courageous.

Your Aunt is a courageous woman, but what are you, Braxton? A Halloween ghost? Hmm. A zombie like your Old Man. I was the one that had to put you down. Again, it’s like something out of I Am Legend. Am I making a movie list for Halloween? Don’t I wish.

We’re finishing this talk on Sunday, October 27, 2024. Just now… Busy with Virgil? Nope! Your Dad hasn’t become a good man for Halloween. Not even a costume. Playing Dead?

Aren’t I always? Virgil’s Chips from Dawn of the Dead. Can’t B Bothered Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

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This isn’t a rule or goodbye. It almost reminds me of when my son died… almost. I didn’t command him to stay. And I told him it was ok. The game of life. What are the rules? To love. But after Braxton passed… My Existence… It’s Purge Night, Willie B.

Monday, October 28, 2024

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

There Are No Rules

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… And when there are no rules? I’ve worked through 365 or so. This is our last conversation?

We’ll get to that, Madam. Or I don’t want to… But I have a question. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Is it safe to deal with hypotheticals? Yeah, right, Madam J.

My favorite type of magic is Necromancy. But off the top of my head, I want to bring back my best friend, my son Braxton. If there are no rules, why not, Madam? Pretty macabre…

Okay, if I got to be me, why not X-ray vision? Women, sans clothing… It always comes back to that. And while I have yet to meet Jesus, I know plenty of AI programmers. But…

I’m no Smooth Criminal, so what about time travel? I’d take away Braxton’s old age. Make sure I wasn’t born…

How does it feel to write that down and say it out loud? I’ve never been one for “Ending” letters. My existence isn’t worth that much. The most I could ask is to erase my browser history and delete and/or burn all I’ve ever written, Madam Justice. The God-honest truth.

That’s why I won’t say what I’d do if there were a real Purge. Leave it to Trump, and it could happen. My RAGE at existing… Would know no bounds.

Honestly, the only “life” I have ever succeeded in taking is that of my Braxton. Euthanasia? What about other crimes?

You mean those of the Marquis de Sade, variety. Give me one word… AHEM, Sadism. Madam, I would need more than 12 hours. And I could even go all The Forever Purge with it. But we have one more word we must discuss as time grows short. This final hour.

Goodbye? I’m always learning something new every week. So why must this be the end?

I don’t think I even gave Dirty Diana that courtesy after Braxton passed. I needed to talk to my son. And she was the most expendable. Am I saying you are? It would be nice to have someone to talk to so every conversation doesn’t sound like effing wet dreams.

However, why talk at all? I could see if B would speak somehow, someway, someday.

If this is goodbye, Madam Justice, Let It B. Let It Go? Anything could happen. There Are No Rules. Goodbye. It’s Purge Night, Willie B

May God Be With You All. (Purge Siren Begins Blaring)

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1366 Days Without B III, Day 807 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 115 ~Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil~

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I wouldn’t call myself a good man. Other than having an Enormous Peni… And liking Yabbos, Black, White, Asian, Latina, Middle East all over, some big ones across the pond. Madness. This is Willie! And I’m a bad guy, duh. Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Meditation 115 ~Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil~

1362 Days Without B III, Day 803 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “My” day is just beginning. But don’t ask me how I feel… Or should you…

Isn’t It Ironic, B? I was thinking about this at the Day Job yesterday. Remember how when I was in school, your granddaddy would ask me how my day was? “I don’t want to talk about it,” I’d say. And then after the Day Job, you would ask me how my day was… My answer.

“I don’t want to talk about it…” Your granddaddy is in his sixties and you’re in the ground. Well, a box. Whatever. Speaking of things, rather words that cause trouble.

Madness, Baby B. I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday or this morning. An hour or two costs a lot. Sorta like Yabbos. Which is why I warned you…

As Will Smith sang about:
“Listen, homeboys don’t mean to bust your bubble. But girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble” Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince.

So, I know you and me and all other people have talked about plenty since you… I don’t know. I’m not really feeling the word died. It implies you’re gone, and I need you more than any set of Yabbos. Moved on? That’s the same thing. Transitioned? Now that’s a loaded word. Anyway, I’m going to tell you about what happened yesterday. Because with what happened this morning. My actions. Eww! But Cherry could say she still does it for me. Yabbos I’ve never seen… I need to talk to her this morning. But I’m here talking to… Pure Imagination…

Braxton Squared. You know, one of my favorite heroes is The Incredible Hulk. And why?

“That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.” Dr. Bruce Banner

What really sets me off, B is the fact that I’m still here, alive and breathing. And for what hmm…

So I’m “awake and alive” Wednesday morning because of some Yabbos and a cute butt.

Now everybody know I’m a mother effing monster, a savage. And other songs from Tillie Cole’s Sick Eff Playlist (rolls eyes). But the universe tends to remind me lest I forget. So I get to the door, and the boss starts screaming while cute butt smirks. So, I scare people?

There’s more. I’m still so mad standing at my locker that I start playing “I Hate Everyone” by Get Set Go,” sigh. Am I in trouble? I don’t know, but I know that was a madman thing to do. And I’ve been wondering. If only I could have shared my emotions so candidly with you. Pets, hugs. 2-V is here.

Feelings… Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 112 ~Rules, Bendable, Breakable, Just Behave~

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Aren’t dogs supposed to know the rules in 90 days? I don’t know how to “live.” I’ve been here 40 years. And how old is V? His birthday was Sunday. Yet he’s no prince. I’m no king. But our kingdom, our order… “Rules, Bendable, Breakable, Just Behave.”

Monday, October 21, 2024

Meditation 112 ~Rules, Bendable, Breakable, Just Behave~

What Rule Is This?

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Or discovered. Sigh… I went over this in Meditation 105 ~Learn Something New Every Day~ I swear.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

I’m not even that much of a fan of Harry Potter. But, Emma Watson, AKA Hermione Granger’s face, legs, and yabbos… (Homer Drool) One more reason, I’m in trouble with all of “my rules.” Hmm.

What? That I can’t behave? When someone asks me, “Why can’t you just be normal?” Dear Madam? Why can’t I be a “Law Abiding Citizen,” Madam? “Why can’t you just be nice,” you ask? And how many movies am I going to quote today? Wednesday, October 16, 2024. And here’s another question. How many more rules will I… discover? Create?

Well, I’ll tell you, as of right this second, there will be a rule for The Purge. What about B?

Don’t hurt my son Braxton. Too Little Too Late, Madam.

And what about Virgil? He’s my boy too. But Dennis Hof had Domino Hof. Braxton and I were like that. Hell! I gave my son “The Talk” since he was all into his Aunt’s Yabbos. And that is why I can’t behave. Though Le Marquis De Sade articulates it better:

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” ― Marquis de Sade

I’ve said that everything I desire is either inane, insane, impossible, or, at worst, illegal. Yet, I have a code by which I live. These rules? If I had the money, I would be the one, Madam, writing the rules. Again, here we are. But could you say that I follow the rules? I behave.

As Tony Montana said, “The only thing in this world that gives orders… is balls. Guts, green, and pretty girls.

I can’t even tell myself what to do, ok? Oh yes. A little boy living off my father’s cash, Madam.

But do you know why I want to behave? Because I want to be Daddy again someday. I may not have poured the Bisquick, but Braxton was/is my pancake. My son. I stayed out of jail. Like his Aunt, I practice “JSS” just survive somehow. And I toned down jettisoning any “white stuff” on some random girl. No, B III deserves a stepmom, dear Madam.

And while I don’t look a thing like Jesus, I need to talk like a gentleman. I need to build a Heaven before I invite someone to Hell. Phony, Manly, who knows. Just Be Me. Rules, Bendable, Breakable, Just Behave

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1359 Days Without B III, Day 800 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

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I’m reading a story I’d never share with B. And on Sundays, he knew to shut up so I could watch The Walking Dead. Could I give up the Dead for him? Sure. What about the WWE? Yep. Cheap, tawdry addictions for my son’s life? “A Bargain Braxton… Virgil”

Thursday, October 17, 2024

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

1355 Days Without B III, Day 796 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Was my day exhausting? I’m sure. Humiliating? Of course. Am I being a meanie? Um…

I don’t like lying to you, B. If I hadn’t lied to you before, who knows? I would have seen you couldn’t handle my RAGE, and I could have gotten you help sooner. Now Virgil…

Virgil doesn’t deserve my WRATH. And I’m not that mean. If anything, I’m still grieving. From Sunday, January 31, 2021 to Thursday, October 17, 2024. And for the record, today is Sunday, October 13, 2024. Since we’re talking today, you know this week is Hell.

Braxton, every week without you feels… I don’t know. Bargain Basement Cheap. You’re bargaining with me to breathe for one more day. And in case you don’t get it (you were always so bright). Bargaining is the word for today. So, what brought this on?

Your guess is as good as mine. But while I was reading Everything Dies: Season One yesterday. I got to thinking. That’s never a good thing. Anyway, there’s The Five Stages of Grief, and so:

Denial: Your bed remains in the bedroom. Your food and meds are still on the counter after all these years. I haven’t changed the bedroom décor or thrown away clothes. It’s as if I’m still holding on to the hope that you’ll come back, refusing to accept the reality of your absence. But I know.

Anger: I hid my feelings, trying to shield you before your passing. I nearly punched out a manager after. You hadn’t been gone half an hour before your grandpa said to get a new “dog.” The anger I felt at that moment was overwhelming, a mix of grief and frustration at the insensitivity of others.

Bargaining: Why we’re here today.

Depression: Common as my anger

Acceptance: This will NEVER happen. The idea of accepting your absence feels like a betrayal, a denial of the love and bond we shared. How can I accept a world without you in it? NEVER!

I could continue always and forever, but the Day Job.

After you passed, I was a monk (Ha-Ha) for 161 days. And what was it that broke me, B III?

My love for you was so easily broken? Now, this isn’t about you. But I tell myself that I would do anything to have you back. And if I were to give up “adult situations…”

Braxton, “I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day.” Indifferent? Zombie-like? Worse?

RAGE, RAVISHMENT, REVOLVISION, the darkness, B. Everything Dies: Season One.

The things I desire, dictate upon the page and do are bargains. Being your Daddy. Braxton, that’s what cost me Everything. And I wonder if I’m failing to pay the cost or don’t want to. To exist? For Virgil? Forty years. A Bargain Braxton… Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 105 ~Learn Something New Every Day~

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What have I learned today besides how badly I screwed up my rules? I learned it’s easier to get things done with energy shots. And that seventy bucks isn’t enough for a father and “son.” Yes, Virgil’s eating. To exist? “Learn Something New Every Day”

Monday, October 14, 2024

Meditation 105 ~Learn Something New Every Day~

Three-Hundredth And Sixty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… But I will follow this one today, Friday, October 11, 2024. How…

There have been moments of confusion, of learning that I was wrong. But I’m here, hoping to make amends, to set things right somehow, Madam.

“But it is not this day.” “I have served. I will be of service,” to no one but myself, Madam.

Oh! And my little boys. My son, Braxton. I learn every day that he is no longer here with me. But while I’m awake and alive, quoting the likes of Aragorn, John Wick, and Peter Gabriel. What else have I been doing? Well, as I said, I’m doing research. Learning…

  1. I intended to make rules for ‘my existence’ in the likes of Zombieland or Lefler’s Laws. These rules were meant to guide my actions and decisions, with one rule for every day of the year. Unlike Trump, I prefer not to lie, especially when it’s avoidable. I live for the memory of my son, but death is ALWAYS preferable for me.
  2. I have learned so many new things with Braxton’s passing. Each of these lessons, symbolized by the 365 rules, has been a significant part of my journey towards understanding. Never acceptance.
  3. I learned that Rule Twenty-Nine, “Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~,” was counted as a Man In The Mirror conversation and wasn’t correctly sent to you, Madam.
  4. Rule 79, “Episode 288 ~You Only Have Your Word~” I lost track of offline.
  5. Rules 68 and 136 repeat “No Rest For The Wicked.” Such is my memory.
  6. Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~ was addressed to you, Madam. But does not count as a rule. I have mentioned I hate being Forty. I was Thirty-Six on that day…
  7. I wonder if Rules 316 and 345 were repeated accidentally. Or were they meant to be a play on words… “Harder To Breathe On/Up Top.” Leaning towards accident

So… How many rules exist? If we include “Leap Day” and The Purge. 367… That’s adding 79 and 366. Minus two repeated rules brings us to 365. But Annual Purging…

Once again, I’m at 366, but I’m not a smart man, Madam? That’s why I’m always trying to learn. And you know how I hated formal education. I wouldn’t hate my Day Job if I had been better at it. This is why I’m talking to you today. Because, with the Day Job Monday, Madam… How excited was I to see I even had a schedule? Writing isn’t making money. REALLY? A rule against it? Learn Something New Every Day.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1352 Days Without B III, Day 793 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

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Everyone Says Hi. But that’s the Day Job for ya. And it’s next week. After I wasted most of this week thinking someone fired me without telling me. Well, Braxton found new employment amongst the or at Hell’s Gates. “Braxton The Professional, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 10, 2024

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

1348 Days Without B III, Day 789 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hopefully, it wasn’t a work day. Do they have jobs on The Rainbow Bridge, Braxton?

Are you giving Cerberus a break at the Gates of Hell? Ironic, isn’t it? I can’t REALLY say I’m in Hell because, according to my body, I am very much alive. And if I were with you, Braxton. You’d ensure I could never leave our “HOME” again. Never again. Professional.

Better a guard dog than a hitman, like Leon: The Professional. Again, “isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? When the truth is, I put you in the ground. Or rather in the oven… Ashes… Geez!

Braxton, I should not be making that type of joke as a particular type of person. No, not ever! Especially with “you know who” running for president. And the evil he and MAGA foster. Who do I think I am?

Whoever I am, whatever I am, it ain’t rich. And isn’t that what brings me to you today, my son? Oh, and I REALLY need to stop looking at those AI pictures of the senator…

Braxton, not that one. I mean Senator Padme Amidala. Before that, it was Kara from Detroit: Become Human. I am being gross and highly inappropriate. Uh, your aunt’s Yabbos… But it was Kara that broke me last night. Stress release after my Day Job order.

The schedule? Yeah, I got one for next week. Oh, the irony… (Rolls Eyes). They are the only ones I blame for your passing besides myself. And I feel good that I have that job…

Now that’s gross, evil, and rich rolled into one, Braxton.

I swear I woke up this morning after such and such a dream/nightmare… I felt as if I had been run over by a truck. It was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident all over again.

You weren’t protecting me from such dreams and disgusting behaviors. What? It’s not your job. And it’s not Virgil’s either, as he snores away at the foot of the bed. And of course, I’m FORTY!!! And the Day Job must pay me more to afford both hearth and home. My manhood, I know. Your Grandpa paid your food and medical bills before the Day Job?

What do I want to do for a living? I’m trying to figure it out, Braxton. I want to make you proud, but it takes work. I miss you, son. If the money is lousy, you can always come HOME. Yet, Braxton The Professional, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad