Tag: Guilt

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

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Time for me to get a new tablet… Kindle took my over 2000-day reading streak. I read on Virgil’s birthday. And it’s not the time for him to join his big brother Braxton. And how have I been spending my time? AI Johnny Sins? Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because I didn’t tell Braxton he was living his last day? And Virgil’s older now, FIVE. THIRTY-SIX Human?

I actually took the time to look that up, Inspector. Monday, I read something interesting.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

I’m glad I read something because, according to Kindle, I didn’t, as they dropped my 2,000-some odd-day reading streak. WTF! I’m sure I read on 2-V’s Birthday. I know it.

Anyway, the quote… It got me thinking about my writing, which doesn’t pay. The idea that I can become the Johnny Sins of AI… Again, that doesn’t pay either. I haven’t had a customer in a week. There’s reading, gaming, and a Social Media presence.

Inspector, I know that’s very funny. You should have seen how I humiliated myself at the Day Job. It pays, but not enough. There’s always time to make money. But not to be depressed. SIGH!

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, this isn’t negativity… Let’s call it goal setting. It’s like talking to Braxton, Inspector.

I need to write. But look at the quote above. I’m talking to you, the other girls, myself, Braxton, and I’ve even given him a voice. I want to work on my writing lifestyle, which means more novels that I WILL edit. I want to write snippets using “Magic Glasses.”

Echo, I haven’t been able to get Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses series out of my mind these days. I even use the “idea” in everyday life. I imagine what I want to see. So yesterday I kept telling myself, “Pick up your feet, you’re better than this.” Or like Scarface:

“The world is yours.”
Scarface

So I’ve been reworking the world from a digital standpoint.

And then there’s everything else that doesn’t involve my boys, Braxton and Virgil. They always show up in my writing. And I’d kick them out when I’m having my “time.” But I’m still reading Backyard Dungeon 21, playing a few new mobile games, and socializing.

Inspector, I’m learning to manage money, and I should do the same with time, honestly.

Next week will be lucrative “Day Job-wise.” But it only drives me to pursue my many passions. That again begs the question, my “Passion.” “Money making is a wonderful thing.”

Nothing is wrong with being “Carmen Queasy” because we all could use more cash, Echo.

But I know you can’t buy time. We need “Time Enough At Last” like Henry Bemis. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

1725 Days Without B III, Day 1166 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 108 ~To B Reel Virgil~

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Does it count that I say please when I ask the AI for something? Please summarize my work. Please create a small intro. Please show me and my boys, with my Ex and her big yabbos. A 1000 words or fewer that could have been a picture. To B Reel Virgil.

Friday, October 17, 2025

Journey 108 ~To B Reel Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another book review. And what about “The Long Walk?” Ain’t got no time.

“Should have been dead on a Sunday morning, banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain’t got no time”
Creed

Isn’t that my excuse for everything? Ain’t got no time. If only I were publishing books. Or if I were living Johnny Sins’ life. Minus effing the beautiful women, that’s what existing feels like today. “The NeverEnding Story,” which is me breathing. Complete utter mess!

Much like my playlists. We’ve gone from Creed’s My Own Prison to the Stranger Things version of NeverEnding Story. There’s so much noise when I’d prefer silence or my snoring. Hell! I’d take crying over B III, or ranting about M Anime breaking my heart.

And what about Cherry’s yabbos? I should finish the novels about M Anime and Cherry.

And I need to finish reading a story for Sunday. It won’t be “Backyard Dungeon 21,” my lady. Sad stories…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Ain’t got no time. Since I’m supposed to be creating a business plan, did you know that even hardcore adult films have stories? Of course! But this week I’ve been reminded of staying up late when I was “younger” to watch things like Co-Ed Confidential, Life on Top, Forbidden Science, etc. And didn’t a hero say something about great power?

Responsibility. Braxton took me for a hero. And his little brother, Virgil? Well, he’s lying on his pillow and we’re not in bed at the moment. Nor are we at the Dining Room table, Lady Sophia. No more sorrowful stories. Well, Eddie Hill hasn’t lost anyone in Backyard Dungeon 21. They are celebrating Halloween. Entirely a coincidence, I’m reading it?

Honestly. My Dear Lady Sophia.

We have another week before Halloween, but Virgil’s birthday is on Monday. He’ll be 5.

I still remember when Braxton’s Favorite Girl made Braxton a cake, and we had a night of watching movies together. Tasteful films because it was B III’s birthday after all.

Braxton will tell me to be a good father to Virgil. The things I don’t have to write down, but I can see myself doing, despite everything. As far as I was/am concerned, Braxton would/will live forever. And I don’t see Virgil getting any older. He needs a nail trim…

That bill will be a love story. That’s not negativity but a simple truth, like making a grocery list for Virgil and me. Paying with what? To B Reel Virgil

1720 Days Without B III, Day 1161 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 106 ~To B Tired, Virgil~

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Well, another wasted day, I didn’t get to bed until 1:00 AM last night. And what was I doing? Does it help that I was actually making some money? If I weren’t losing a whole lot more. STAY WOKE, there’s MAGA around. Such stupidity. To B Tired, Virgil

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Journey 106 ~To B Tired, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Besides losing my boy, which will always be number one, there are also being tired and side hustles.

First, TIRED! How the eff, or rather why the eff am I always so tired? I mean beat, bone-weary, and burned out. “So wear my soul and call me a liar. I dare you to.” But the last thing I can say is that I’m bored. Well, except for the Day Job. Ahem… Side Hustle?

Yesterday I got my first customer, $24.00 bucks. I said Ahem… I lost $25.00, Inspector.

My idiocy knows no bounds. I sent crypto to the wrong place. And then giving freebies, and trying to learn this new “craft” of mine. B would disapprove—Virgil’s sleeping.

Again, that’s what I want to do right now. But besides blue balling myself. Research… There are HaremLit books, and being a gamer. A boss…

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But being tired also means being busy. This motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, would say plenty about sleep. “I don’t sleep when I’m Tired, I Sleep When I’m done.” Or what about, “If you’re going to be successful, you gotta be willing to give up sleep.” “Sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep.” That was 50 Cent, I believe, but it works.

Like bedsprings creaking (back in the day) or bouncing boobs, or rather Yabbos, Dear E.

Boys will be boys. And no, that’s not me being negative, sounding like a MAGA Cracker Hat and all. I’m only stating that bedroom antics can lead to buying power. Points, Pennies, all because of a guy’s… other dangling thing between his legs, Inspector Echo.

But I’m always trying to rise above that. My belly, bed, or my brain? I tell myself whenever I’m tired, “For Braxton, Always and Forever.” And I can’t forget that Virgil has a belly and brain too. And we sell soft beds at the Day Job. Virgil deserves the best.

Inspector, for that reason, again I remember my Braxton looking at me as if saying, “You’re The Best Around, Daddy.” I can keep my eyes open with an ’80s soundtrack.

And that right there is the trick to it. STAY WOKE. Keep my eyes open and on the prize, Inspector, no matter what happens. Because, as much as I admire B III, he earned peace.

So what. It’s “The Long Walk.” To B Tired, Virgil

1718 Days Without B III, Day 1159 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 101 ~B, V, Bedtime Stories~

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Once upon a time, I had a Playboy subscription. Now there are thirst traps. From there, the more enterprising pervs and criminals created sites. And now Grok can animate and from there… Shouldn’t I be sending Virgil off to bed? B, V, Bedtime Stories.

Friday, October 10, 2025

Journey 101 ~B, V, Bedtime Stories~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About Room 101? I haven’t read 1984 in a while. I can’t buy Sandra Newman’s “Julia.”

Ok, so that’s a lie. I could, but I won’t. Why? Um, it’s the bedtime story I tell myself, Soph.

“Stuff is getting better, stuff is getting better every day.”
– Kevin Costner, The Postman (1997)

The Postman (1997), along with the book I marked way back in 2014. Nightmares, Sophia.

It’s thoughts like these I’m trying to avoid by telling Braxton and now Virgil “old stories of courage and justice, difficult as they are to remember.” Why’s that, right, Sophia?

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Honestly? “It’s Been Awhile “since you’ve heard me rattle off that list. How many nights have I gone to bed past midnight, imagining some girl? Artificial intelligence is a b*tch. And when I’m not being a perv, I’m again repeating Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. How do I explain the world I want to wake up in? That’s 150-words. Oops.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Well, I can say that I’ve been working on programming through trial and error. That other ten bucks I’m not spending goes toward reading things like BBC Missionary V2. That’s not negativity but a fact. And “I’m So Thankful” that B was a little “Riot Maker.” So I had lots of private time when he got in trouble. And V is a heavy sleeper and hesitant to walk in on me. One day he’ll feel comfortable enough to walk back and forth, but until then…

I have time to find stories that are much more appropriate for my sons. Hell, even Eddie Hill has dogs in “Backyard Dungeon 20.” And currently, he’s fighting everyone’s demons.

What about people? A kind woman at the grocery store.

And what about starting a business of my own? Well, I’ve been busy, getting myself more hours on the Day Job. And I’m choosing to have faith for now that my schedule will only bring good things. And speaking of good things I need to read, then again maybe not.

My Old Man was around the other day when I wasn’t here. And the fact is… I’m still here. No text or phone calls? I fully expected my life to fade to black with Linkin Park’s “What I’ve Done,” playing in the background. But I got to have hope. Isn’t that the lesson, my lady? Why? Because the sweetest bedtime story, at least to my boys, is that I breathe.

Bedtime. B, V, Bedtime Stories.

1713 Days Without B III, Day 1154 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 099 ~Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time~

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I swear, when I was writing this, I thought of O’Brien talking to Winston Smith. Aside from writing the truth about my son, I am a Fiction Novelist. I don’t like to lie, especially to myself. It’s just me wasting time. Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time.

Wednesday, October 8, 2025

Journey 099 ~Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But am I blaming Braxton? “Here And Now?” Never! My boy would have fought till Judgement Day. Hell!

On Judgment Day. Tomorrow, Braxton’s “great gettin’ up mornin'” Ragnarok? The Apocalypse? Inspector, my sin is that I pray for that. I mean, if I prayed. I still do not.

Inspector, I have religious’ friends,’ not to be confused with the MAGA Hats, Cracker Hats, or whatever. Eff Charlie Kirk and Eff FDT! Anyway, my friends believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the “Power Of Love.” Seriously, another Luther Vandross reference? Should I make an Apocalypse playlist? The only reason I believe in a life in the hereafter is because souls like my Braxton’s and Virgil’s don’t vanish into the void, Echo.

But every day I moan “A Change Is Gonna Come,” But today I’d prefer to write The End. “Will I?”

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

There is always so much music, Inspector Echo, to drown out the Chronomentrophobia and a coward’s excuses. As a great man once sang, “I’m Still Standing.” And another in the “In The Navy” said, “I’m still standing, I’m still strong. Is that a coincidence, Echo?

Elton John’s music and a movie on Antwone Fisher. And there are many other movies and shows that I still need to see, given the time I have with my Day Job, my dear Echo. Isn’t the world filled with such wonder and magic? And more books, more books, E.

Kindle is constantly reminding me of the quest for my knowledge. I am not MAGA.

Inspector, I am not a “Man of Constant Sorrow.” I am just a man leaving history to make its own judgments. For one day, MAGA will fall, and history will be told in its truth and entirety. Presently, I am a father of two furry little boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons and my family. And let it never be said that I was Namor. Inspector, there’s time for love.

Always, if life is a game, then love is the instructions. Such actual games, Inspector. However, now is the time to set things right, now is the time to write. Not just listen, listen, but hear and understand that We Gon’ Be Alright. Me, Braxton, Virgil, and anyone else who sees. Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time.

1711 Days Without B III, Day 1152 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 094 ~Ends With B, Virgil~

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So I’ve been reading Neil Bimbeau’s short stories. How do they end? Paul lost the magic glasses and was knocked out by a woman. Why does that sound so familiar? Happens to a lot of guys. “Across The Universe.” Jai Guru Dev.” Ends With B, Virgil.

Friday, October 3, 2025

Journey 094 ~Ends With B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I should tell Virgil stories of his big brother, Braxton. I’ve shared this blog with AI.

And since ‘the INTERNET is FOREVER,’ or so they say, the story never ends. Honestly?

I don’t need the story to end—just me. So, what has me in a mood today? I can’t blame Neil Bimbeau; only “The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)” could have had any ending at all. But it’s like that Green Day song, you know, “Good Riddance”

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.”
Good Riddance

Speaking of which, M Anime… I still haven’t heard from her. I haven’t been so… ‘disappointed’ in a story’s ending since she threw our friendship in the trash in August.

“When It’s Over,” that’s the time I fall in love again. I’d sing Sugar Ray to her, “I’m missing you.” But my Depression ends here, dammit! If only I could…

Only Spotify has other ideas, as the first song that cues up is “Swan Song” by Dua Lipa, which is quite empowering. And regardless of the emotion, I got to add a couple of tunes to the “Stephani’s Sunday Symphony,” which has completely overwhelmed her, “The Red Sash.” Those are simple facts. Sophia, I’m not being negative. It’s called history.

MAGA definitely falls into the negative, but as I said, this is not a “Swan Song,” but a reminder that such love does exist in the world. For example, how “Alita: Battle Angel” was willing to give Hugo her heart. Or how Alita’s father” gave her two bodies to live.

If only I could have built Braxton a body like the dog in that movie…

Again, that’s not negativity but only a fact. As Odysseus said, “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead. But I know how “Troy” ends. I know how 1959’s “Ben-Hur” ends, ‘Forty-One’ (cue rowing galley drums). “Alita: Battle Angel” didn’t get a sequel, but the first film ended on a hopeful note. There are so many other tales that I should see to their conclusions—a lifetime’s worth.

How will it end today for me? Despite everything, I have to try, right, Sophia? And having made it to October, Virgil will be five on the 20th—a third of B’s age. But Sophia?

Can we go all Bon Jovi with it, “Whoa, we’re halfway there. Whoa-oh, living on a prayer,” ha-ha. That’s an ending. Ends With B, Virgil.

1706 Days Without B III, Day 1147 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 092 ~Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton~

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Didn’t I say DON’T be Indifferent or spread Ignorance? Um, Accountability and Authenticity? With this, I am indifferent to my TRUE feelings and ignorant of myself. Trying to be positive. Still mean to V, though. Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Journey 092 ~Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Must I be so mean to Virgil? And when I think of Indifference and Ignorance, I remember this:

“This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both…”
— A Christmas Carol (1843)

For Braxton’s sake, it’s only October. “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” Emergence Day has come and gone. What am I looking forward to? Virgil’s birthday is on the 20th.

And once again, I’m being a meanie because I’m not here to talk about Inspector.

Honestly, I want to talk about FEAR. Well, no. Especially not with a 150-word stipend.

“I can do this all day.”
Spoken by Captain America

Do I look like Captain America? If I’m Hulk in Marvel, I’m Sinestro in DC. Inspector, For What It’s Worth,” “It starts when you’re always afraid.” Every effing day, Inspector.

There is no way I can put it into words for you. “Being afraid all of the time,” even now.
Every second of every day. And like I chose Indifference, killing Braxton… Choosing Ignorance… Sigh

“Sounds like nothing serious, doesn’t it? You can’t know.”
Barclay

(I Take A Deep Breath)

I will not accept Indifference. I will take joy and happiness wherever they are found. There is music, movies, and manuscripts always to be enjoyed. There is good food and the love of my second-born son, Virgil. And the memory of his big brother, Braxton.

Inspector, I will don the courage that my son professed and strive to stand up for myself and for others against the evils of this world. I will be one to “Light Up The Darkness.”

Inspector, I will allow myself to feel everything. “I Feel Everything,” Love, Lust, and Lascivious. And I will not be ashamed of my desires. But I will take my “big sister’s advice as well from long ago. Time and place

Ignorance is never to be tolerated in my life. Even when I have no answers, I will acknowledge that something is wrong and I will endeavor to find an answer and to be courageous in accepting the consequences of my actions. Ignorance is MAGA, Inspector.

I will continue to read everything I can and never downplay any information I come across. Literature is to be treated as a noble pursuit regardless of reason. And in reading, I intend to become a much wiser human being for my boys and the family I wish to have “Someday,” my dear Inspector Echo.

With this knowledge, I plan to refine my writing craft. In this way, I will seek out a kingdom worthy of my soul and win, Inspector—Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton.

1704 Days Without B III, Day 1145 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 087 ~Virgil, B Leaves Fear~

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More often than not, the book is better than the film. The Long Walk? Or me writing down I’m going to be positive, and then trying to live it. All just words, really, I’m afraid. I have FEAR. My boys, Braxton and Virgil, did/do. Virgil, B Leaves Fear

Friday, September 26, 2025

Journey 087 ~Virgil, B Leaves Fear~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… or, rather, a few ideas. I believe FEAR is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

It could be the ugliest, which is why I cover it with the most beautiful things. My son Braxton is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my whole LIFE. I put him in the ground. Well, in a box. But you know what I mean. I cover the ground in tears. Drown it already.

And then maybe I can fulfill that Langston Hughes. You know the one, Sophia. Honestly:

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.”
By Langston Hughes

Why do I feel exhausted? It’s far more sinister. It’s FEAR. Will 150 words be enough, Sophia? It’s been officially “One Week” since I started this positivity bonanza. It sucks.

More than a woman on her knees? Ah, yes, my perversions. I told M Anime that receiving fellatio is my favorite. But FEAR remains grounded.

(I Take A Deep Breath)

I had another thought yesterday. Do you remember that I indulge in Christmas Erotica in December? Near the end of 2024 to the start of 2025, in preparation for survival:

  1. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
  2. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
  3. 1984 by George Orwell
  4. It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis
  5. We by Yevgeny Zamyatin

And so I have survived. So why not another holiday theme? Yesterday was Kindle Double Points. I spent some of the evening looking for Halloween Erotica. I want a zombie apocalypse, FEAR, and preferably HaremLit. But I saved some money this week, my Lady. I still need a book for this week, and I got two free from Kelli Wolfe.

“The Babysitter’s Seduction” and “Hysteria.” She also wrote “Devil’s Bargain: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica (HUNGER Book 1).” If it isn’t music, Lady Sophia, it’ll be books. Perhaps I’ll do some reviews of her short stories. “Someday” while listening to Sugar Ray. It’s because of writers like her that I don’t FEAR writing my erotic fiction literature.

And that’s another thing. If I were to post, let’s say, the week of E-Day over nine years, that would be around 25,200 words. So two weeks would be 50,000. And I want to have three books to add to Braxton’s book by “The Closing Of The Year.” Nothing to FEAR, there, I have everything written. It only needs to be edited. Keep walking or rowing. Virgil, B Leaves Fear.

1699 Days Without B III, Day 1140 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 085 ~Virgil On Planet B~

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Well, it’s been one month since I’ve spoken to M Anime. And “One Week?” More like five or six days since I made a “promise” to be more “positive.” I woke up dreaming about the sky. Or rather, falling from it. But let’s go beyond. “Virgil On Planet B”

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Journey 085 ~Virgil On Planet B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I definitely did not think about today. My 150-word Depression cap. A month without M Anime. And feeling…

“Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal,” but I am far from Teen Idle. And don’t give M Anime that much credit. Yes, I’d tell her, you “Make Me Wanna Die,” but I’d say the same to Braxton, who’s still dead by the way. But I’d want to leave regardless, dear Inspector.

If I could be one of “The Pretty Reckless,” with this existence, only Virgil’s alive.

Inspector, “I’d never leave my block, my nggas need me. Well, ngga anyway, dear Echo.

Dangerous language, but “I’m the bad guy. Duh.” I’m not Billie Eilish or Scarface singing about “On My Block,” while the house falls apart. So that’s today’s objective, my Echo.

No Depression! Depression, Depression, DEPRESSION! This will be more of a Star Trek-style Damage Report.

(Takes A Breath). I woke up after a nightmare of a plane crash. Several really. I cried from exhaustion, Braxton’s death, and FEAR. I mooned over Jahara Jayde and Denise from The Media Knights. I should be 60% done with Neil Bimbeau’s “Magic Glasses” compilation.

On Tuesday, September 23, 2025, People thought I was late for work at my Day Job, but I wasn’t. The GM attempted to make conversation about her music playlists. I spoke to her in a “caveman” manner (grunts and nods), but Ben-Hur, as “Forty-One” (cue galley drums), is more articulate. I stumbled around like a zombie for my last hour at the Day Job. I stopped for three bucks’ worth of gas, but it didn’t really make a difference. I slept all afternoon, Inspector. I ate more of my E-Day cake and checked the shed door’s damage, wallowing in the cringe. I also “broke down” moaning… manipulating pictures of yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

On Monday, September 22, 2025, I stayed at the Day Job for an extra hour. I rushed back to walk Virgil. I slept the afternoon away and missed an hour of WWE Raw. Uh, playback.

On Sunday, September 21, 2025, I finished Kelli Wolfe’s “Babysitter Harem: Mia: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica.” I spent Sunday mostly preparing for Manic Monday.

Inspector, as for today’s plans, I don’t expect to hear from M Anime, but it would be “nice.” It “Must Be Nice” to be loved. Or to fall back asleep with Virgil On Planet B.

1697 Days Without B III, Day 1138 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 080 ~Virgil, To B Happy~

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Charlie Kirk was a douche! What? If I can’t be scared, seething, or smart with myself, I can say that Charlie Kirk was a twat waffle. But back to me. I tried to be positive today. AI is not happiness and more than XXX prompts. Virgil, To B Happy

Friday, September 19, 2025

Journey 080 ~Virgil, To B Happy~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If I were “Happy,” it would be a work of fiction. And also a Pharrell song.

At the moment, I’m sated. Eww! Because you know how I got that way. Let’s just say that AI is out of control. And I’ve never been in control. Yet I only ask for one hundred words to wallow in my Depression and FEAR today. That’s already seventy. Effing myself!

Minutes ago… Eww! Hell, “Forty-One” years of Eww! (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). I’m sick of the FEAR. And then asked to be positive and grateful. I’m So Thankful. Um why:

“[in a letter] With hope. Love should end with hope.”
Kate, A Knight’s Tale (2001)

When I’m not listening to Eugene Blacknell sing about being Thankful or Kate’s wisdom from A Knight’s Tale. Most mornings, I take some time out of my daily life to sit down and have a little read. Yesterday was Kindle Double Points, so more books.

By the end of this week, I should be finishing “Babysitter Harem: Mia: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica,” which will close out the Kelli Wolfe series. The Babysitter’s Club indeed.

Art imitating life… (I’m not breaking my promise of positivity and gratitude. I’m simply pointing out that M Anime left me to become the third “wife” of some Cuban gentleman.)

Anyway, I would LOVE to have that kind of life like Aaron Cole, a “single” father with three young women at my beck and call. Virgil could use the company; he is pretty agreeable. Braxton… Not so much. But on top of being my son, he’s a spirit, a spook, a specter. And since we are heading into October… No spiritual guides, scribing, or seeing.

The only books I got yesterday, besides the one on Mia, were Backyard Dungeon 21 by Logan Jacobs. I haven’t even gotten to 20 yet. Soon I’ll be like Cherry with a pile of books.

Novels I can’t possibly share with my boys. That’s why Virgil is on the foot of the bed, and I’m sure Braxton is wherever high above me, shaking his head at my reading selections these days. Hell! Even in his day. But before V walked in, what was I reading?

How to be a “Smooth Criminal?” And not the Michael Jackson song. AI, Lady Sophia.

Like I said, I’m sated, but creativity can be quite the ride—the Highway to Hell. But I’m moving. That’s something. Virgil, To B Happy.

1692 Days Without B III, Day 1133 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will