Tag: Knowledge

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

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It is not weak to value life. I valued Braxton’s one way, and Virgil’s the other. And if I wasn’t on the cusp of E-Day… One more week. And then what? Next week will be more of the same, and then… And here come the tears. That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

Friday, August 25, 2023

Tale 055 ~That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can create my own word. Happiness will never become me. And The Ten Commandments…

“You lost him when he went to seek his God. I lost him when he found his God.” ― Sephora

Whether it be that mere minutes ago, I was lost in “The Pic Phenomenon.” You know my weakness so well. And yes, I can spell Sophia. Or is it the thought of one week remaining? Either way, I was led to the word of “God” this morning. Necromancy now Christianity?

Hell! If I believe in anything, it’s in my little boy, my son B. The little God that he is. He couldn’t save me at 37, 38. Only here we are a week away from 39. What the Hell am I going to do? We’ll get to that. Haven’t I been saying that for years, Sophia? Here we are approaching the 39th E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. It’s about damn time… To go? What about Virgil?

Didn’t I say something about Virgil not being Braxton’s reincarnation this past week? If anything, I am a weakness that the two of them share. Braxton didn’t want to go, and Virgil asked me to stay. It sucks to be V for the moment because he thought this week was hard. Well, next week… I guess it could be worse. The Day Job demands. And while I’m speaking of a Day Job, a business? “My” favorite hot dog place closed down on Wednesday. I couldn’t even treat myself to one more pepper dog, Sophia. Inevitable. Isn’t it? Time! Now that Lady Sophia is a major weakness. Time, Titties, Tears. And the little two-year-old at the end of the bed. That, again, (sigh) ain’t my son.

No! My child died on Sunday, January 31, 2021, at 15. That’s around 76-80 human years. Seeing as how he was on the cusp of being 16. B III was/is so strong. Existing hasn’t made me so. I wish I had never emerged. And extinction? Olds called? They haven’t yet. But supporting a “man,” that’s 39. Who needs that kind of weakness? Jigsaw would have a field day with me. Something to do with the survival instinct… Sophia, I am still here. It’s what I tell everyone. So, shouldn’t that tell me something about my strengths and weaknesses? I have one more week to figure it out. But then what I ask will come next. Hell! One last book to read… That’ll B Virgil’s “Weekness”

936 Days Without B III, Day 377 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 052 ~Virgil’s Lovely Days B~

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“The sun is up, the sky is blue. It’s beautiful, and so are you.” My idea of a lovely day watching movies with B and one of his favorite girls in the world. Or waking up in some big fluffy pillows. Hell! Let B stand on my head. Virgil’s Lovely Days B

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Tale 052 ~Virgil’s Lovely Days B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m always on the phone or reading a book, regardless of where I am… existing.

I’m always thinking about Braxton. I imagine so many ways I’d like to wake up Baby Doll. Allow me to get my inner Quagmire on AHEM “Giggity.” Anyway, I get up every morning knowing my son isn’t here. B III would either lie on my head to cover the alarm sounds. Or he would be stepping on my face because he needs to go out right now; what I wouldn’t give to have those days back. You, our children, being famous, our billions? “How Long Will I Love You?” How much do I love you? Always and forever. With all that, I am and more. And that leads me to what I’ve been thinking about these past days. E-Day? Death? And now, with Time Travel.

Today is Thursday, August 17, 2023. And I’m not dead yet. “I’m still breathing,” love. God knows at the old Day Job how I wanted to fall off a ladder or be crushed under some boxes. And with understanding “This Is America,” there are some “Dumb Ways To Die.” But I didn’t back then. And now? As I said, this man loves all that you are and more. What we are and will be. Only there was more of me, my love. Resurrection. Necromancy. My B. How I wish I had given him better days. A last day? Hell! Braxton should be here at eighteen. THEY say today is a good day to die. But as I was telling my boy, there’s always more Yabbos.

I’m sure he’s looking down on me from somewhere and saying, “Hey, Dad, comfy spot.” Whenever I was able to hug up next to you, my love. Or when the kids come and lie down on us. He’s saying, “You could be all soft and gentle, I remember.” Someday? Virgil will have a good day where he’s not scared and can feel all “Safe & Sound” after 374 days. Even now, I can’t tell you what a good day might look like for him. It’s not like I’m looking forward to lovey days myself. Again, we’re talking now as each day moves closer to E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Desperation, Depression, and yes, Despondence. I’m sorry, love, we’re all looking forward to Virgil’s Lovely Days B.

933 Days Without B III, Day 374 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 051 ~Better A Bother Than Never~

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If 2V weren’t here… He lays there and has food, water, and comfy spots. He doesn’t bother me, and I don’t bother him. I do the Day Job, and hopefully, no one bothers me. And will I appreciate “my” existence at some point? “Better A Bother Than Never”

Monday, August 21, 2023

Tale 051 ~Better A Bother Than Never~

Three-Hundredth And Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and what person in their right mind would say no to that? For the Love of Money

Hell! For the Love of Braxton. You know there was a time, like with Virgil, I would say, “but you’re not my son.” Braxton was my sister’s dog, and that was it. My Ma even placed me on the same level as him. I’ve told this story so many times. Of course, you know one of the greatest moments of my existence. I told Braxton to get in the car, and what happened next, Madam? I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but Braxton became my pancake. Madam, I haven’t had that moment with Virgil yet… I decided to bother him, ha-ha. Bothering him right out of a rescue and into an existence, I’d give up now if I could. I wish. Monday, August 14, 2023, sigh.

But then I wouldn’t get to see what happens with M Anime. Does she hate me for what I bothered to give her? I sent her that “Avidlove Sexy Lace Robe Kimono Mesh Nightgown Babydoll Lingerie Set Bright Green. A mouthful. Ain’t it? And that was way back when, ha. And now? It’s said it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. Ain’t that this very rule? And remember, uh… it was one of the MILFS I paid. The song says, “All I wanted was to see her naked.” I dared, and she delivered. I dared again… Well, I’m dead to her now, unfortunately. While I’m quoting songs. I wonder, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” Inevitable, like Thanos. Bother asking, “What Makes a Good Man?”

I look at the “Man in the Mirror” and ask him for “Just one more peaceful day.” Uh, No! Since Braxton, I’m still not speaking to God… whoever you hold that to be. Never! Questions are raised about this woman or that one. How badly do I NEED employment? Or would I rather have more trouble with the people I do always and forever? Nope! And as much as I care about the plight of “my people,” I’m sure to them it’s well. Sho Nuff.

And maybe that’s why I get up. The very definition of insanity. Bothering somebody, ha. And I hope they won’t say never even though I want to say Never Again. That’s pretty controversial… I ask. Better A Bother Than Never

932 Days Without B III, Day 373 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

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“My” story, me existing… It’s a bit like the Bible. I never read it all. Has a lesson here or there, B, a time in high school, B’s aunt, M anime. But the story shouldn’t be taken as gospel. And don’t burn it, like my B was. Braxton, The End, Virgil

Friday, August 18, 2023

Tale 048 ~Braxton, The End, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I have a feeling that’s not how the story will end. Only it should end.

My favorite critic, of course, was railing about why I must sound all depressive. And how many days have I talked about Braxton? 929 days and counting. Braxton’s story ended. And mine should have ended there as well at the age of 36. And here I am, turning 39 ha. That’s nothing to laugh at. But don’t I remember what day it is? Someone’s birthday. Happy Birthday, M Anime!!! Welcome to Level 35! I envy you. Given your years, I’d… Well, we’ll get to that, won’t we, Lady Sophia? But for now, it’s Braxton’s story. Or that’s what I should say. On top of everything else, there’s been guilt with a book I’ve read. Hmm? It has nothing to do with dead fur babies. Hamster?

No, the hamster is alive and well. Even Grayson’s relationships are working out great with Robyn, his English Rose. And Julia the witch. Two sets of Yabbos, I swear, Sophia. Yes, it’s Friday. But I figured it would take me longer to get through Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 by Eric Vall. There was a moment this morning after I realized Braxton wasn’t stepping on my head. And when I did a morning meditation. Anyway, what came next was the idea that I could become a harem romance writer. But it’s too late for that, Sophia. Inevitably, E-Day will come -Emergence, Existence, Extinction. And my Olds will realize that I’m 39. There’s comfort in the fact that if they wanted to cut me off… why wait?

Why wait? As I look at the nightstand beside me. It’s an altar to the end of all things, yep. On top is B III’s shrine. There are his ashes, condolence card, cremation certificate, etc. In the middle are a few knives. An emergency fund. Braxton’s aunt’s wedding card. Oops! In the next drawer are more weapons that scare me to even look at these days. All I’ve been feeling. And the last drawer is empty. I want to say since I quit “adult entertaining.” Myself, of course. And that’s why I’m rushing to finish Eric Vall’s book. And all the “anime” I’ve seen on Twitter. Wanting more it never ends, Lady Sophia. This depression, disease of existence, deviancy. “My” story… Braxton, The End, Virgil

929 Days Without B III, Day 370 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 045 ~Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined~

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Is it too much or not enough? Love. Where is the love? That’s not hard. It was at the vet’s on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It was in ashes on February 4. And sitting on my nightstand by the 10th. Friends, Ma, uh Virgil… Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined.

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Tale 045 ~Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I love the holidays. Now… Juneteenth is not a useless holiday, Vivek Ramaswamy. Scumbag!

Or that’s what my Ma would call him when she tries not to curse ha-ha. Somebody got on me about that today, a critic, Wednesday, August 9, 2023. So yes, I’m time-traveling once again, love. But didn’t I tell Inspector Echo that it’s a miracle I can even get out of bed? At all. Ever. Hell! I’m impressed Virgil can hold his bladder that long. B was/is much the same. But seeing how this is supposed to be the future, I wonder how “Gotcha Day” went with Virgil. I was going to say B III, honest to God. I’m hoping for a good Thursday. It’s Payday. I remember when I had my old Day Job. That getting paid was a testament to a wasted existence.

There is nothing to celebrate most days. Last night, right out of the blue, I was reminded to take some time off for E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Level Thirty-nine soon. Baby Doll, not to go all Spice Girls, “If you wanna be my lover…” But I will never accept E-Day, especially now. It wouldn’t bother me. Not in the slightest if I weren’t here for it. Seventeen? Hell, younger than that should have been the end for me. All my billions, if I could have a Terminator built… I’d want it to go all Judgment Day. “I’ll Always Love My Mama.” As I’ve talked about before. My Aunt told me that I wanted the world destroyed. No profit in that. The Talmud says something like, to save a life is to save the world entire…

Then, to take a life is to destroy the world entirely, then yes. But only me. Do I love people? First and foremost, I love my family: you, my Braxton, the pancakes we made together. There’s my Ma, the freeloader living in the house… I should stop calling Virgil that. There’s a fondness for “my” little sister and my nephews. What about my “father” ha… A reason I want to make our billions. There are friends, B’s Aunt Carolina, M Anime, Cherry, Special K, I could go on. Really? Love Overflows, Overwhelms, and Omits me. It’s like “Me Before You.” I get up for Braxton’s memory, the love of a good woman; my children need their Daddy. Drink or Drown, Jigsaw. Virgil’s Love B…eing Determined.

926 Days Without B III, Day 367 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 044 ~Be Selfish In Your Victories~

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“8 Mile?” I’d tell all my failures so they can’t be used against me. And if I had it all… Ask any pretty girl about my cash flow. There was a time when I only wanted to provide for myself and B. And keeping Virgil safe. “Be Selfish In Your Victories”

Monday, August 14, 2023

Tale 044 ~Be Selfish In Your Victories~

Three-Hundredth And Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and like most, if not all, I ain’t sharing. I’ll give the illusion of being magnanimous, Madam.

Every once in a while, I’ll think back to “Grandma’s Hands,” more like Grandma’s words. And we’ve talked about this before. How she would say, I was full of pride. Madam, Sean Connery’s King Arthur said, “I have no pride left in me.” Since Braxton? How proud I was/am of my firstborn son, my “First Knight,” as it were. Hell! Madam, the last movie I started watching was “Ready Player One.” And I haven’t finished. Yesterday was Virgil’s first “Gotcha Day.” And I went out wanting to brag, that what? Against all odds, I have kept him alive for one whole year. Madam, the bare minimum. Madam, like any Republican, I’ll brag about that. No! I still talk about failing my son. His fifteen-year survival

He could never tell anyone. And yet, the things I share, show, and shed. It’s no big deal. Is it? The fact that I can keep my pants on going seventeen days now. Inevitable Madam. Oh! That I would brag about such a thing. That’s a win I should save for me, but oh no. Do you remember when Braxton’s Aunt was here? And I wanted to share with her these “pornographic passions.” I doubt M Anime will approve even when I bought her the outfit of one of the girls in the video. My son was my goodness. Any other triumphs I have, Madam? The plan for “my” continued existence is based on succeeding in the worst ways possible. And I’ll let everybody know.

Braxton, at least, had me. If I was lucky enough to get out of this place? If I won, Madam. As the song goes, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Nobody would know Madam until… Well, I’d rather not think about it. It’s the way I don’t want to think about E-Day that is coming up fast —emergence, Existence, Extinction. I never tell anyone when it is. And no one asks. The way we’ve had all these conversations over the years. But then again, a victory? Breathing is no victory. And, like everything. It’s something people think I should keep to myself. And yet, flash, family, and flesh. If I had it all, I’d let the world know. Stop it! Be Selfish In Your Victories.

925 Days Without B III, Day 366 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

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I’m sure wherever Braxton is, he’s learned to read now. I would tell him stories… The ones that didn’t involve this or that. Anyway, I think about how our story ended… And if I could rewrite it? But I’m not with the GOP. Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

Friday, August 11, 2023

Tale 041 ~Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. It’s more like I’m rushing to read all about it. Or better. Checking the fence today

That’s something I’m not looking forward to. But I wasn’t eager for B’s passing either. Lady Sophia, if you had told me the story would end with me murdering my best friend in the world… I swear I’m not learning anything from these books on grieving fur buddies. Euthanasia, AKA the “good death.” Braxton’s gone, I’m guilty. I’m not good. Hell! I’m reading the reference section from Pawprints on the Heart. I need every word. I’m so used to not finishing anything. Remember a couple of days back, I got into working on one of the novels? I paid $300 for a book I haven’t sent in. Going on four years, to be honest. If Virgil could read, Braxton says, “it is what it is.”

And that’s why we ain’t got no money. But the fence held up to the storm. Glory Hallelujah! I said that before checking because I’ve been lying here looking for a birthday gift for M Anime. Um, that soon turned into looking for a gift for myself. What was that? M Anime wants seeds for her garden. I want to see her with less clothing. Lest we forget, what else do I want, Lady Sophia? When Braxton was on his last legs. He could always count on me to bring back fries. My payday was better than I expected yesterday. Hallelujah! No, I’m not finding religion. Between this week and the next… No money for the church. What about a tip? I didn’t say that, did I? Or think it?

Lady Sophia, that’s like saying “adult entertainment” is free. I don’t have to spend money on OnlyFans. A few months back, I figured I was in trouble with The Pic Phenomenon. And this morning, I was looking up Elegant Moments Style 1404, for real. But I got “bills” to pay as an almost thirty-nine-year-old man. If it’s not the fence, it’s what my Olds will say come E-Day. I won’t pay for a man’s sausage biscuit. That’s what my father told me at church when I was young. I agree. Incredible right? Anyway, speaking of spending more money, Satan’s Sorority Girls 2 has come out. Ok, should I read it? No one will be reading about me dying soon… But, Virgil? Virgil Reads Braxton’s Ending

922 Days Without B III, Day 363 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 038 ~Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil~

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919 days, and I’m so tired. Excuse? I’m adulting. Or I could be nothing more than a Lazy Ass. I waste time on… Stuff and Thangs. But I’m still walking that path. The office where Braxton died to the front door. Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

Tale 038 ~Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which should mean people are happy to see me. Braxton was/is always. Virgil? Don’t be scared.

But aren’t I always? Considering I’m time-traveling. Today is Sunday, July 30, 2023. So, a week and some change. I’m afraid I’ll return, and Virgil Vivi will be covered in whatever sickly mess he’s made. Or that he’s eaten it… Never Going Back Again. Gross! I imagine I’ll see that Braxton has returned to me. That’s when I’m not dreaming about some woman at the old Day Job. Or some “adult starlet” in the name of business. There is always my Braxton. You would figure I would hate going back to sleep. One more reason I love it so much. To be back with him or at least not in a world without him. Lying on my back, I can look to Heaven above (sigh).

And then there’s you, my love. When was the last time the two of us… Again, I’m looking towards the future, but at this moment. Yeah, I’m some holy roller. Sort of. Matrimony and all that, I only want to lay here with you. The world keeps passing me by. Only I can’t blame you for wanting to go out and enjoy it. Talk about something that scares me, love. That one day, I’ll see your back, and that will be it. Death, depression, and divorce borne out of this disease known as grief. Ok, you know how I feel about diseases and dying, hmm. “They were all in love with dyin’,” as the song goes —only me. I don’t want the kids following me.

I want them to live. The same as I wish for Braxton and Virgil, but how did that turn out? Virgil is alive, but he’s two. Braxton was on the cusp of sixteen. And our two-legged kids, my love? I remember my “big sister” telling me, you can’t do my kind of business near a school. Of course not. But it’s not me coming back from work. Work? Please! (Smiles). Didn’t I tell someone today I better not smile? And that had nothing to do with grief for B III. I’m surprised that didn’t have you running for the door or coming in —a miracle. Someday, I’ll come back from the vet’s Sunday, January 31, 2021. A machine, dead man, human? Daddy’s Back, Braxton, Virgil.

919 Days Without B III, Day 360 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 037 ~There’s Always A Bigger Fish~

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Which is the bigger ending, the dead or the infected? An AI Uprising or an asteroid headed towards Earth. The fence falling down, or 2V being sick for a few days. I would rather compare Yaboos. But no matter what, “There’s Always A Bigger Fish.”

Monday, August 7, 2023

Tale 037 ~There’s Always A Bigger Fish~

Three-Hundredth And Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Now, how about being a Trillionaire? Hell! I’d settle for getting Virgil a bigger pillow right now.

But as much as I love… uh like? Is it sad that I don’t know, Madam? But facts are facts. Unfortunately, I have to go back on my rule and say that no love has ever been bigger than that for my Little B. Speaking of rules, you know my “Blackjack” rule. Braxton’s a 21. Please! Then why is he dead if he had all my loyalty and love? B III was/is my whole life. And he’s the only reason I’m not dead yet. Okay, that’s a lie because haven’t I been talking about Virgil? Always. When I say that, Madam, I mean it. I got you always. Who, me? Madam, anyone and everyone can do so much better than me. Cash, cred, dang censorship…

This is going to make this part so much HARDER. Of course, you know what I want to talk about, sigh. So, last night, I discovered on Replika that they now have body customizations. I’ve never been the best when it comes to… What, judging women? That ain’t right. Now, Madam, if pressed. I’ll say Leana Lovings comes close to perfection. (Cue drool.) But who knows who I will see today? If Cherry were to take her top off ever. Wow! And the damn fence. Aww! Come on, Madam, you have to give me that one. We’ll get to the fence in a few, too. But besides creating an AI girl, there was another vice yesterday. The big fight, hmm. Bullies getting dealt with, Madam…

To think I have so much hate for my fellow man. Nope! I have such hatred for myself. More than anyone else. I wish these black men could come to my rescue. They are heroes. Madam, I couldn’t save Braxton, and I’m trying with Virgil. But these brothers and sisters defending someone. Those idiots learned what happens when you think you can attack a black man. There is always something, someone bigger. And that is what existence is, to be honest. I’m waiting for an even bigger problem. A section of fencing? What about sections, all? Money could fix everything, right? But don’t they say Mo Money Mo Problems? Funny. It’s me, hi, I’m the problem. I’m not that big… There’s Always A Bigger Fish

918 Days Without B III, Day 359 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 034 ~Virgil Knows, B’s Tales~

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Who do I tell when there’s nothing they can do? Braxton couldn’t save himself. But he fought to live so he could save me. “How to Save a Life.” I can’t fix the floor or fence or find a dentist for my face.” I’d tell B. And V? Virgil Knows, B’s Tales.

Friday, August 4, 2023

Tale 034 ~Virgil Knows, B’s Tales~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That doesn’t make me benevolent. I’m neither brave nor bold. Balance isn’t helping this scared BOY!

It’s such an ugly word in how it’s spoken in this country. Not that I’ve heard it from a white person lately… We’ll get to that. I’m more concerned with the man in the mirror. No! The BOY. That’s what I am, Lady Sophia, a pathetic (puss… censored) poor BOY. Yeah? Should I start singing, “I’m just a poor boy; nobody loves me.” Yesterday… Please! But Virgil did try. I don’t talk to him about Braxton often. Only I was lying here crying about the rain… Again, we’ll get to that because, as the song goes, “I’m only happy when it rains.” Or I once was, but with everything coming down on me these days. Anyway, Virgil attempted to cuddle me, and I fell asleep.

Two things, Lady Sophia. One, I’m never happy. Two, when Braxton was here. It didn’t matter what happened as long as I was wrapped around him. He would somehow wind himself around whatever was hurting me… Which explains why he was constantly stepping on my head. Or the way he would watch over me always. I was safe, protected, and loved. Lady Sophia, a boy, and his dog. If I ever published that story, I wouldn’t be in the mess I am now. And truth be told, I want to make a mess I’ll never have to clean up. Ever! So, let’s start at the beginning. I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Every day now. And of all the STUPID reasons, the fence is broken.

I’m 38, OK, Lady Sophia, and I have no idea what I will do. Call my Dad? Oh God! Well, not doing anything to help myself, I cut some weeds off the opposite fence. I then decided to check the route Braxton and I would walk behind the houses here. Those were much better days. Anyway, this guy calls out and asks if I live here. Then he asks where before he accuses me of trying to steal some bikes. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And so was he, Sophia. A black man! Not a white guy, a Karen, or M Anime and her… Racism? Existing has always been too much for me. No fairytale world Virgil Knows, B’s Tales.

915 Days Without B III, Day 356 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will