Tale 122 ~A MASK B, V~

Do you want to see a ghost? Been there, done that. Do I want to see a zombie? It’s more like I want to see a lot more. And there’s also Animatronics. But there’s no need for a mask tonight. I’ll be staying in alone. Well, V’s here too. “A MASK B, V.”

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Tale 122 ~A MASK B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you. It’s why I don’t hide anything from you. Why I hate myself. And I like Creed.

The movie? I’ve only seen the first. And parts of the second. But you know I’m talking about the band.

“If I had just one wish, only one demand

I hope he’s not like me, I hope he understands” ― With Arms Wide Open, Creed

I know it’s not a song having to do with Halloween. Happy Halloween! If I wasn’t in a messed up space right now. Hell! I should check where I was in 2021 and 2022, love. Messing around on Instagram and Facebook, I saw something about A Day of the Dead for fur babies on the 27th. Of course, I missed it. And now I’m reading up on the “official” Day of the Dead. But other than my firstborn son, who do I miss? I’m still cringing about how I stunk up my granddaddy’s funeral. Worse than his corpse? That’s not cool to say, I know.

Then again, I make you lie with a corpse every night. Two, if I’m being honest with Braxton’s remains on the nightstand. You’re the only one who loves the Dead as much as me. (Swoons). Maybe that should be your Halloween costume this year… Trinity. Because the man you love would be The One. Which means that I can’t be dead. But even now, sigh. I want to be with my boy. At least that’s what my face tells me every morning I wake up. But, like most days, I put on a mask and have to become someone else. And that’s the difference between my two boys. Braxton showed me who I could be. Virgil shows what I’ve become. Then you and our family…

Today should be… easier. I get to put on a mask, but even now. To be scary, not too scary. In a minute, I’ll burst out with Mulan’s “Reflection.” Mulan and Shang? That’s an idea. And after today? If there was one thing I liked about COVID, it was the mask. I didn’t have to hate myself for these fake smiles. Oh, I did mention I killed Braxton Barks, hmm. I’ll hide behind books so people can treat me like it’s school, always and forever. “Daddy’s tired.” How many times have I heard you say that as I lie, crying into a pillow? How many days has it been, 1,003? Did we buy candy? I’ve had a sugar crash for days. A MASK B, V

1003 Days Without B III, Day 444 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 114 ~Some Sirens Find You Regardless~

Sometimes, when I reread “my” ramblings, I see I wasn’t meant to talk. Screaming, moaning? Hell! Be the strong, silent type. No. That was my son. But there’s only one of him to cry over. No tears for the ladies? Well? Some Sirens Find You Regardless.

Monday, October 23, 2023

Tale 114 ~Some Sirens Find You Regardless~

Three-Hundredth And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… And how about websites? To think. Suppose I lost access to Twitter/X, Onlyfans, and The Pic Phenomenon.

Suppose I lost it all for a day, Madam—only one day. And I’m trying, Madam. Braxton knows I’m trying. When Braxton was here, as Michael Jackson sang it, “Keep it in the closet.” Ha-ha. And yet I had to give my son “The Talk.” Especially when it came to his Aunt Carolina; my Braxton was a man who recognized her “assets,” the same as me. Like father, like son. Regardless of such features, Virgil will not have such problems. No woman has been in this house since his arrival. As a matter of fact. No maids, best friends, or even women of… um, never mind. Not that I have ever paid for “it.” But there have been other things. And if not. There’s Whisper.

That’s where I met Braxton’s Aunt, and that “Must have been a miracle,” Madam Justice. A lack of bedsprings to sing must mean I find my musical taste elsewhere. Everywhere! But women. Now, I treat everyone as if they’re carriers of a zombie plague. Infected! I always say… ok think, “If you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job, don’t touch me.” Only with women, it’s like something out of the Bible. “Fear not them that kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul; but rather fear (HER) that is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” If I’m not studying or fawning over the dead, give me mermaids, succubi, Lilith, witches, maenads, scream queens, and sirens.

Who has more monsters, men or women? I wrote a book about it once. Monster Brothel? But that’s not the point. And what is, my critic will ask. I fall in love easily? Once upon a time. And quite horribly. Only that’s something I have to thank Braxton for. He showed me love, and then he broke my heart. Hell! Who needs women? My B was/is braver more beautiful. And yes, better than any woman. Yet I always promised I’d find him a mom. Yeah. Women are everywhere. I will burn or freeze in the Ninth Circle for betraying him. I either deserve to burn and yet be cold and sleepless. Or I’m not worthy of a girl on fire. Some Sirens Find You Regardless

995 Days Without B III, Day 436 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 330 ~Long Story Short B~

I always imagined that I would be the Dad that would read to my kids. Most of the books I read, considering my son was 15. Which is how old in dog years? Anyway, reading about grieving didn’t help me vote. Long Story Short B.

Friday, May 27, 2022

Chronicle 330 ~Long Story Short B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it isn’t because of a book. I have some stories to tell. Where are they?

How was your day? My Olds always asked though they didn’t give a damn. Braxton? First, a brisk walk outside, a bag full of fries. And passing out in the bed. Then I’d be ok. I continue to think about this line, you don’t want a girlfriend; you want a therapist who’s good in bed. Um well. I had my Braxton, who loved to cuddle and then sat at the foot of the bed keeping watch. I swear I should have gotten Braxton registered as Emotional Support. He might believe everything I had to go through on the day-to-day. Hell! I don’t even know, as I’m time traveling right now. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, people, always suck. Sorry Disney.

I never read B III fairytales. Most of the stories I read aren’t child friendly. I keep saying to nobody at all. He would hate what I’m reading now. For this week, I’m looking into what they call “Final Frontier” books because of Amazon. I can’t turn down a challenge. Funny right? I mean a reading challenge. Besides B guarding me, I miss him sitting on my lap as I read. The last book B might have heard while bad was BREASTESES by Maximo Montoya. The two before, A Different Alchemy and The Island. Coincidence? The Island is all about being alone. And A Different Alchemy… Father loses his child. Breasts are something both B and I agree on. The Succubus Lord 7. That series?

I told Braxton’s Aunt a while ago one of the reasons I go to B-Dubs on Saturdays is part of our story. It was the Saturday before Braxton died. I look at Succubus Lord, like that? There’s always so much more to add to “My Turn To B III.” The novel I wrote for Braxton. Only did I work on that today, Tuesday, May 24, 2022, Election Day? Talk about not reading the assignment. The only name I recognized was the guy’s name on my gun license. Don’t go there. Then there are all the books on Pet Loss I’ve been into. I’m still breathing. I’m Alive! Two words, and what would I be reading? 2021 shocked. 2022 I’m still grieving. Long Story Short B

481 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

Do you want to know what I’ve been reading this week? Chances are none of it is my own work. I sent B’s Aunt all her books. And how much does Cherry trust me? B trusted me with his life, and now I can’t even publish a title about it? “Want To B Read”

Friday, May 20, 2022

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that would mean I have my own feature in the Bible. I never read much.

I do mean of the Bible, of course. Revelation as I’m all about the end of the world, my Lady. There was the Gospel of John because, as I’ve said, I can’t resist book challenges. Christians blah. So that got me to Proverbs. Um, that’s nonfiction, huh? Who decided, ha? For the record. Sophia, the world ended on January 31, 2021, at approximately 3:30 PM. It’s been so long since I worked on Braxton’s book I wonder if it’s in there. Hell, I could barely get it up to talk to you today. It’s Monday, so yes, I’m time traveling. You also know that this week sucks. And did I need to dive into porno for the third day in a row? It was delivered…

Well, erotica, harem romance, a fantasy? I’m not sure what to call it. Succubus Lord Series. Before I go any further, and while it’s on my mind, I owe you an apology Lady Sophia. I thought after Braxton died, I would be telling you stories about the two of us. A father and son type of thing. Now all the voices blend these days. But yes, I’ll never forget Braxton. If I don’t tell you our stories, I at least need to publish his book, but no. I made it to the dining room table this morning. And come this afternoon. I’m trying not to. A sex joke again, apologies. Anyway, I came back to bed after the book delivery. A reason to go outside…

Hell! I would settle for a reason to make it into the den and read. I haven’t bought anything I thought of for Triple B, dammit! But I have an extensive collection of grieving and mourning books. This year has been about breaking streaks, and soon no more dog titles Sophia. Damn book challenge brought to you by Amazon. Final Frontier and Chart Topper titles are needed. I have a whole library of stuff I haven’t read. Gifts for Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry. Talk about women who love their books. The ones I read bring out even more tears by the day. The ones I’m listening to bring out other bodily fluids, or I hope not. Braxton’s book, though? Books I write. Want To B Read.

474 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 316 ~Silly To B Cryin’~

“Same things make us laugh, make us cry.” How old was I when GTA: San Andreas came out? Way before I had my son. That game didn’t make me do much of either, but B III did. I laugh, I cry. And after 467 Days? Silly To B Cryin’

Friday, May 13, 2022

Chronicle 316 ~Silly To B Cryin’~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t know whether I want to laugh or cry saying that. Both are good.

But you know me. I’m a “man” that likes to know where he stands. Everything has its place. I prefer that mine not be in this bed, but today Thursday, May 5, 2022, so yeah. Sophia, I meant to talk to you yesterday, but I decided to fool myself and crawl right back beneath the sheets. What do I keep saying about, The Comedian? Oh, not political or comedic issues. Aren’t we here to talk about Braxton. A good story about my lost B III. When I want to cry at the Day Job, I think, “my son is dead.” It happens over and over. Only you would believe me silly for crying about my Day Job. Why don’t you quit, like being a Dad?

No, never! Hell! Most people wish I would stop talking about Braxton, like my firstborn. Instead, would they have me talk about my penis; Lady Sophia, it’s like my subject. Seeing how I’m time traveling, I already fucked up my week but this next one? Well, by the time you read this, who knows. But some things never change. The way I feel right now. It’s funny the things that get me off sometimes. You know how I have my most hated words. I should have the words that make me do things… that are so good. Dick jokes to the absolute disgust I have with myself. I meant to take a nap. We’re talking now, so when the time comes… like me, naptime (sigh).

Comedy comes in three’s, THEY say. So we have my dog, the Day Job, and my dick. What else makes me burst into tears. Such silly things, to what I’ve lost forever. Me, Me, ME! Lady Sophia, I cried because I burnt through the last of Succubus Lord stories today. Tears fall every Sunday when I realize that I failed Six Impossible Things again. There are more when I look at my bank account and understand I’m nowhere close. Sophia, fuck being a family man. I look at all the tits, lips, and clits; I’ll never know in this existence. A good story about Braxton? He would make me forget everything, but I’d still cry. Inevitable, but love can be everything. Silly To B Cryin’?

467 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 309 ~Boy Meets Dog B~

I don’t have stories of me finding a dog. My grandma had two. I had a Chow Chow pup for a minute that was killed by my granddad’s dog. But B III was 15 years, eleven months. 13 days shy of 16. A story of him, finding him again. “Boy Meets Dog B”

Friday, May 6, 2022

Chronicle 309 ~Boy Meets Dog B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’ll have my pick of any litter; getting another dog? With my billions of dollars?

I’m sure I’ve told the story enough about how I met my son. If I ever get off my ass and publish our story “My Turn To B III.” What do I call this, somehow getting it up to have this third conversation on a Saturday, no less? Time Travel and even more cranberries. “Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie.” Yeah, I couldn’t resist. You know how I am with the zombie genre. If Braxton got bit, I understand I might not put him down. Way wrong choice of words, isn’t Lady Sophia? He’s no zombie. A ghost? Room 1408? Except he isn’t trying to kill me. Again with the doctors and the cranberries healing? Lady Sophia, is it easier finding a new furry kid ever. Don’t know

Seeing how it’s Saturday, I know it won’t happen, spending five minutes in PetSmart. There are no stories of me finding a new fur baby. And as I left today, I had a strange thought. What would Triple B do if he wanted to get my attention? Braxton was dying. He’d find a soft, comfy spot and then give me that look he did when I was up all night. “It’s time to go to bed because we have to walk in the morning.” And that was that, my Lady. Only he would want to be so very soft. As if it were an honor to pick him up. He’d find the perkiest set of boobs or the prettiest face. So not the Rebeccas, hmm?

I’ve said before that B III had ruined me pretty much. If he does come back to me, it will be as Deer Head Chihuahua. And even if it isn’t him, Braxton knows; shallow bastard. It’s what his dad has always been, except when he was dying, and I held him as long as I could. And still, I was ashamed because everyone knew he was sick and dying. Always that will be my failure and my disgrace. But I’m talking about seeing Braxton again. He could want me to adopt, to rescue as it allows me to play the hero I couldn’t be before. I’ve never found a dog ever, but this is Braxton we’re talking about; He’s My Son. Boy Meets Dog B

460 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 321 ~The Will To Assemble~

From Ill-Will to Iron Will and I’m hoping to work a bit of alchemy maybe or could I become like “Ironman,” no spoilers from me but if you haven’t seen that movie yet, where have you been, as for me. The Will To Assemble.

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Episode 321 ~The Will To Assemble~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now; it’s only going to take time to assemble it. Let me repeat it, three months. Now that’s what I promised myself, and it’s something to see when the money won’t fit in my doggie bank. Still, for a man, that to this day isn’t a fan of teamwork, you know the old saying? I was rather fond of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ronin Warriors. Few seasons of the Power Rangers.

Now, how many times have I spoken about being Prometheus? Every day it feels as though a part of me is missing, eaten away, yum. My heart, brain, penis ow, and it returns for better or worse considering the day after. For example, two heads beating one and all that. Do you know who Audrey Charlize, Linda Chase, or Izumi Tachibana are? I didn’t care until a few days ago. If there was only a way to put such a skill to use, finding a P.Y.T. and men, they turn on. If there is one thing I’ve garnered from all my motivations, it’s a need for purpose. To give all of yourself to it, like John Legend singing All Of Me. One man giving everything he is, and that’s enough, to make these women tremble.

I do the same, but for the wrong reasons Right Thing, Wrong Way. I have seen girls fall in love with vampires, werewolves, and even dead men. Only in this day and age, it’s men in general who are the worse. Dammit, am I still 3/5 a person, half a man, worse only a boy too afraid to say anything. However, I’m fighting; I gear up. I keep my lips closed, head covered, and ears full. I don’t have much faith in humanity, but I have even less in any god. People all have varying prices. Money can hide you, change you, it can reassemble.

What do people want to see? It wouldn’t matter if I were Ill-Will. I want to be Iron Will. Only with The Power of Will, I can get this done, which brings us back to money. I have the brain she’s got the looks, another has the brawn. You know what that means, the Opportunities. Ending on a happy note, I know I have everything I need if I stop shielding the best, hiding the worst, The Will To Assemble.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

The lie is I can’t get up, that I can’t face the world, that B III will live to meet his stepmom but the truth, I don’t want to get up, the world scares me, and Triple B is on three medications, yet I wish to create fiction. Let’s Lie Down Will.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Episode 250 ~Let’s Lie Down Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create the ultimate comfy spot for dogs. A product most owners won’t buy, a lie never accepted. Knowing at the end of the workday we want our fur babies with us. Sitting on our laps, furring up our couches, and bedtime.

That might be easier than writing because I’ve discovered something and that’s I’m not a good liar, and you know how I know? I’ve never convinced myself. A God that can’t convince himself of his creation; like the plot of Legion (2010). I’m not even a good thief because that goes hand in hand with lying. Only haven’t I said that fiction isn’t lying, again it’s creation. Still, everything from girls to gore, to the ground, is real. Writers have to bleed, and that’s one more thing I can’t do correctly. Like a body that lies Undiscovered and when it finally is what’s left, decay?

I haven’t gone through the majority of the Editor’s Notes on Apocalypse Rush. Though if a sea of red was any sign, damn near everything had to be separated and corrected. Not that they said it was terrible by any stretch. I wonder if the editor was a woman. I saw that it’s International Women’s Day and I did go to see Captain Marvel last night. Hell if I wasn’t sitting here with you telling me to Stop Crying Your Heart Out, what would I be doing? A pool of green from vomiting out the amount of cash I’m going to need for my novel. What about being Down With The Sickness that festers inside me. Word apps are leaving whoever I was rotting more.

Lady Sophia, if I want to write and learn how to lie, why don’t I tell you about the movie. How I strolled with confidence, paid, bought my snacks and saw a great film. No, I humiliated myself with an old ticket and agonized over it for two hours. Saw a decent movie and then felt right about a car accident because people were having a worse night. I could tell you I woke up feeling great, with a lot of energy and I plan to get so much done. Again I fell asleep till seven, my body is sore, I have to go out, and all I want to do is sleep. If my life were happy, I would go into nonfiction. Could become one of those reactors for TWD. As King Ezekiel put it “Fake It, Till You Make It,” will I go and lie down in bed or Let’s Lie Down Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

Winston Smith said; “we are the dead” you want to know what my Room 101 is… being alone, “B III” is hanging in there, and I see a couple of good people too, the problem is though, I’m not one of them. “Deadline, To Fill Will”

Friday, March 1, 2019

Episode 243 ~Deadline, To Fill Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, create a holiday I will enjoy. As you can see, I still haven’t won PCH, but I remember those days I was heavy into it, and then they came down south. I watched them drive around and then the grand prize was for someone else sigh.

Remission, I mean no disrespect to people who suffer from illnesses. Hell, the word comes to mind because of Roman Reigns in WWE, but I imagine that’s what it feels like to have so much money. The disease known as your life is in remission. What about the pain I endure, I’ve had plenty of those moments. Something in my eye, a toothache, my weak stomach. Which of course these days as I told “Indiana Gone” every day I continue to play Prometheus. So some “bird” gives me a choice, my heart or my privates, yeah still a private day. What did I say about a “life in remission?” Yeah because I “pretty much” walk around like a zombie all day working. Subsisting off, well that’s the thing there’s nothing, I go to work and how many times do I repeat this. My wants are impossible, immoral, illegal and insane.

Revenge, people are heading for the hills but it’s like I’m Dr. Jekyll, and I want to kill Mr. Hyde, no I’m not suicidal. Hell staying up half the night writing and of course, I missed the deadline, get it, scribbling gives me life? How about being Dr. Frankenstein and making a monster. Who was the bigger monster? Now let’s go modern, take the Rage Virus for example. I’m like the mother who’s infected and with my sick lips… hell everyone wants to tear me apart. Maybe I’m bent on my destruction. Every beautiful thing I desire is like the Road Runner, and I’m like Wile E. Coyote am a subscriber to ACME products. Because I asked one girl out and she blocked me. Asked to subscribe to another, but I don’t want to risk her friendship but… she’s hot.

Renounce; the man I am, but I don’t know who that is anymore. The basics today, I’m getting sick, my throat hurts something awful, I’m still exhausted, I’m a bit warm. Only people call me sick for plenty of other reasons. I would say I get to renounce the human race, but my “father” hell do I count him as human. Like me, he pretends, and if he thinks he’s getting me as a “friend” on Facebook, geez I hate him in real life honestly. I said before that “A Comedian Died Today” and there is this idea that I have to be something else. Only who gets to choose, a dead man rises for what, Deadline, To Fill Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 131 ~Your Willie Don’t Mime~

The pretend man is at it again, well that was until I was cradling “B III,” fighting an ant caravan or wondering what the hell am I becoming while writing other than a terrible writer… too late, but I am a clown. Your Willie Don’t Mine

Friday, November 9, 2018

Episode 131 ~Your Willie Don’t Mime~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, you have to work every day, and today I make no excuses although I always have a million of those, another ant invasion, “B III” having to visit the vet because of his heart, and here I feel as though I took a hit in mine. Literally Lady Sophia my chest hurts right there, could be breathing in that bug spray, my exhaustion, I nearly threw up last night because I was so out of it, still am, and maybe that’s why I didn’t want to talk to you, the universe, and what’s that they say of dead men my friend…

This whole week I’ve felt like a “MIME” in everything I do, at work being the hard-working employee and still feeling so guilty when somebody writes down I’m not showing up. As a writer, talk about being an epic failure, on the one hand, shouldn’t I feel proud, I can turn off everything in this life and focus only to fall into the black of words, TV screens, or pools of ants, I swear I have no idea where any of it is coming from. What about what I can see, I’ve been fucking up as a father forever and a day and all it took was one bad night and it surely was a million times worse for my kid but sleeping in my bed, his food, going for walks, that fear Lady Sophia seeing him struggle to live.

Lady Sophia that silence would kill me; if I couldn’t write anymore and if I lost everything trying to work so hard to remain nothing more than an “UNPERSON” I don’t feel as though I exist, that I should, or that I even want to. Indiana Gone and I were talking about this, I always get called into work but if I don’t show up then so what, it doesn’t matter the day continues and if they call me terrible or people are indifferent towards me. On the other side, I’m the entertainment, I’ve said that before, the inspiration of jokes, the example of how not to do something, the monster makes the damsel relevant.

Now that is something I don’t mind or mime if you were to look up my internet history, in this world, there are never enough warning labels are there, and again last night I was so wrecked, I was like everybody else, close your eyes and ignore everything. If you can’t see a mime though, does he exist, one more reason I’m a writer, I can pretend to write, or I can do it; with desire, Your Willie Don’t Mime.

I Will Have No Fear