Tag: Learn

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

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It’s not that I don’t know who or where I am when I wake up. It’s that I don’t want to wake up. I can travel to many different worlds and times and be a newbie. And some of these people in some of these places have dogs. But no B. Being A New B.

Monday, December 30, 2024

Meditation 182 ~Being A New B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B…And we’re getting close, aren’t we? A new form. A new friend. And not even a few days to prepare.

A week wasn’t enough. How many months until your next E-Day? And three years, Dad.

Has it been enough? You’ll scream at me like that time you decided From Now On you would let the groomers give me all my baths. The answer is no. Never. What we had, Dad

And yet, with how tired you are. The day you’ve had since we’re speaking on Sunday, December 29, 2024. Humans and time. I swear, Daddy. But these dates you remember:

January 31, 2021, My …
February 10, 2021, I returned
February 13, 2021, Sweet Sixteen

Nothing, and yet everything changed. You’re my father, my Dad, Daddy. And I’m Little B, Baby B, your Dæmon. Nothing changed for us, well, for me. I only died, Dad.

See, you can even see me now. Thinking such a thing is the equivalent of me growling at you. I’m still me, but what… You can ask Virgil. He’s lying there dead center at the foot of the bed. Why? Because I’m at the corner as I’ve always been, Daddy. As I will be forever.

You know, one when you’re lying next to my stepmom. I’ll be giving mean looks.

Someday, I’ll be scrambling out of the way as your kids, my brothers and sisters, come scrambling up, cheering, Daddy, Daddy. Daddy’s awake. I’d be surprised if you didn’t name one after me. Inevitably, this family will meet, know, and love the best man ever.

Daddy, you’ll always be the one I’ve known and loved. You’ll be even better, stronger. Our love will always be there, guiding us. Dear Dad…

Please don’t worry. I’m not really gone. I’m still here, waiting for you. You’ll wake up like me, warm in your bed after such and such a day. And you’ll see me waiting as always, Daddy. Our bond is eternal.

Rainbow Bridge? If you only knew how short it is. It’s like the threshold of your door, Dad. And we’ll cross together, and we’ll both be brand new. Is that what I am? Brand new.

The newbie because I’m still waiting for my partner. I’m waiting for you to open your eyes, Dad. You still see me lying in my bed on that steel table in the office… waking up.

And now I’m asking you to do the same. STAY being who I knew, know, more. Being A New B

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

1429 Days Without B III, Day 870 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

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The fact that I came down the stairs on a bum leg to talk to myself, knowing I won’t paid, is a miracle. I kill myself at the Day Job for what I believe is BS. But next year, I want to know I’m doing something as I sit here. Can’t B Done, Virgil

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what can I say as we look at each other one last time? You made it…

I wish I had been kinder to Ladies Lunalesca and Sophia. There is also Inspector Echo, and especially Braxton. Oh! You just realized what you sounded like. The date, friend.

But the only number you were thinking about when you woke up was three. Seriously. Two of them, as in thirty-three percent, you need to read today to stay on track. And close out this year with the novel It Can’t Happen Here. Which brings me to today’s question, friend. Can it be done? So let it be written. So let it be done. Are you to be a pharaoh?

At present, you have no idea what you’re going to do with the new year. Hell! This year, I haven’t accomplished these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And I had one extra day since it was a leap year. I got two, maybe three at a stretch. And with this being our last conversation. You will already admit that you failed number six. You don’t have the money for number five. And the others… You can’t keep writing these things down and not doing anything with them. Shall that be my advice to you today? You looked over your New Year’s Resolutions from previous years. How close did you come to accomplishing any of them? Should you let Braxton Barks choose them?

What about your Dear Future Wife? How you wish you were one for planning, brother.

You can come up with the simplest things. But still, there’s these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Again, you wish you were one for having a plan. As you have the words of 55 books at your disposal. 56 if you can finish before Wednesday, ha-ha. It depends on the Yabbos and levels of intimacy. Eww! Can you stop? Yes. But Will?

Will you stop? There are so many things you can do. But will you? Or, as Yoda put it. Uh.

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Master Yoda

People nowadays are all about, LET’S GO! You’ve gone back and forth on Battle Cries…

Do It For B III
Do It For Your Son
Whatever You Do, Do It For Braxton Barks Bradford Will
Always And Forever For Braxton
May Braxton Be With You
Anything And Everything For Braxton

Can 2025 be done? Will you? Can’t B Done, Virgil

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1428 Days Without B III, Day 869 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 175 ~Tempting To B Cold~

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B III wouldn’t know it was Christmas. Only the food would be better, and he would have a new toy to play with. And that we wouldn’t have to face the cold. B wasn’t invited to my Olds Christmas brunch, and I wouldn’t leave him. Tempting To B Cold

Monday, December 23, 2024

Meditation 175 ~Tempting To B Cold~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I don’t remember the cold. Well, maybe a second. Don’t cry, Dad. That’s your line. Don’t cry, son.

And I didn’t. One moment, I was fifteen, and in the next, well… Can you guess our best year? That’s a trick question because we are together, and automatically, Dad…

Whenever we are together is the best, whether it is smooshed up on movie nights. There were times we stood side by side as angry and scared warriors. Strength and honor. And as long as I live. And I do live daddy. Every Sunday, you look at yourself with such… hate. But I live in you. He Lives In You. You’ll sing that all the time. But again, as long as I live, there’s the food. Always and forever, the meals that we… Shared? Funny.

Only last night wasn’t so funny. Bringing me here today…

Wishing you a Merry Christmas?

What, I won’t tell you my Wish List? We’ll get there. Please don’t cry. You always talked about tomorrow… next time, and for us… Well, we were frozen. You are.

You call it the Ninth Circle. And last night, as you stood outside with my little brother, you told yourself you deserve this. That you will spend forever in the cold. That you can’t move because of what you did to me. I won’t tell you what I think or try to sound like one of those books written by humans about their furry kids. You would never believe me.

But Dad, I want you to know that I’m not cold. I’m warm and happy. And I’m always with you, in your heart and in your memories. Now and forevermore.

That’s why you and Virgil shouldn’t be freezing your balls off like last night, Daddy.

There won’t be a White Christmas for us, despite the cold. But Daddy, do you know what I want? If I told you, would it be just one more list you’ll end up ignoring? Even then, I have what I want, and that’s my Dad in my life. Again, my life, your existence, my father.

That would be number one:

  1. I Want You To Live
  2. Remember Me, Always And Forever
  3. To Love Virgil Vivi Bradford
  4. Find My Stepmom, Find Love
  5. To Finally Find Your Happiness

Strange food didn’t make the list. Don’t starve. You’re not joining me… I’m already there. Though, Tempting To B Cold

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

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All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. Sorry. What I meant to say was that I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas. No. I don’t want to feel like Rudolph the other 364 days of the year. It’s why I have my *sons*. “Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting”

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And are you here again? Right here, right now. Well, you couldn’t breathe right this morning. sigh.

You thought you were getting sick. No. Sick is talking about Cherry in a certain type of way, my friend. What? When somebody asks you to describe a fantasy or what you want for Christmas. Like me, you rather not think about it. That’s the thing about needing to breathe. When you can’t, nothing else seems to matter. I dreamt about Braxton’s passing last night. Is that what woke you up? I was watching him take his last breath. Mine?

At that moment, I would have joined him. But that wasn’t the case. You woke up a mouth breather. And all you wanted was to feel better, to stop bouncing to thoughts of Cherry and breathe normally again. To what? Fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Tis the season not to do this. To feel jolly or whatever. Can you even hear the Fa-la-la-la-la? You can’t win ’em all. You can breathe somewhat normally. And your leg is feeling pretty better. Your ear is still on the fritz, though. And Christmas is full of noise, friend.

But not friend Virgil. What are you getting him from Christmas? What is Virgil getting you? Less time outside… Virgil dislikes the cold. So, he does his business reasonably quickly. And he saved you fifty bucks, To his detriment. To yours? Father Christmas, you’re not.

And what about Braxton? After all this time, that boy keeps your eyes properly hydrated. And with your crying, you can blow your nose. Someday At Christmas Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

By the way, how annoying is that song, Someday At Christmas? And then there’s Happy Christmas. I’m sure people wouldn’t complain if wars ceased on Any Given Sunday. Ha-ha! And there are homeless people every day. The lowest, poorest, hungriest, sickest, saddest, and even the stupidest. Why wait till Christmas to dole out the favors?

And you’re the angriest, horniest, and you would take a bit of self-control anytime, anywhere.

That’s another gift from my boys. And again, what can I give them? What can you give yourself? You’ll be pressed to even accomplish number one on your Christmas list.

Making it to the dining room table or the recliner would be a Christmas miracle…

Your boys give reason, purpose, existence… Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1421 Days Without B III, Day 862 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 168 ~Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer~

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As bad as I feel for Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer and B’s Aunt’s fur baby Gabe. And as for people… Only the ones in books. Winston and Julia sooner rather than later. B is always and forever at the top of the list. And Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer.

Monday, December 16, 2024

Meditation 168 ~Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Always and forever, your son. And I’m glad grandma isn’t here… or there… Eternity is one big ole’ weird place. Anyway, Grandma’s sixty-four, Daddy.

And she’s still with you as I am. Always and Forever. Though that place you were always going to without me… Well, we can pretend it’s old times. This is the part of the story where you’d wake up after all that. And I would cuddle in your lap while that glowy box droned on. And you talked about all the humans I needed to bite sometimes. There were plenty.

Grandma said I could be a dear. Both D-E-A-R and D-E-E-R. Talk about your momma jokes, right? But you haven’t felt a lot like joking lately. Grandma’s getting older, Daddy.

So are you. And me? Well, it’s hard for the two of us to pick out a good year. There weren’t seasons. Only the moment.

That is the gift that I bring to you… The comfort and joy… The Hell if I know my father.

You were the one human I really did know. And at any other time, well, sometimes the food was better. And sometimes not. That’s something you should talk to my little brother about. This morning, you felt as if you were giving him his Victory Breakfast and Water, am I right? Hey, because you and I didn’t really do books together, that doesn’t mean I didn’t pick up on them from time to time. And 1984 is the kind you would read to me as I slept on your chest. Something like The Theory And Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism. And I can’t comprehend the meanin’. But those moments, those memories, they are ours to keep and cherish, always and forever.

And that’s the point today, Daddy. You would tell me a lot about words you thought didn’t do anything. And at the same time, you would say that words would save us someday. But it isn’t my words that are making you cry today. And no, it’s not the words you are looking up in these moments. However, I would rather you read A Dog’s Purpose or something somewhat heartwarming over 1984. Yeah… Are there even dogs in that one? Anyway, Dad, it’s these moments…

Seriously!!! Daddy, Kelly Clarkson’s A Moment Like This. I didn’t even bring up your listening habits today. But again, listen to me. It’s the moment, Daddy, the here and now. This moment, right now, is what matters most. Remember that.

Avoiding Reindeer? Grandma saying, it’s raining, dear. We’re together, these moments. Braxton Doesn’t Like Reindeer

1415 Days Without B III, Day 856 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

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I need to start thinking of a Christmas list. More spirits are listening now than on Halloween and the day Braxton was Euthanized. Santa, ghosts, loved ones, etc. Because when I tell myself what I want, well… Hello, “Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B”

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you see me? Not Braxton out of the corner of your eye. The man in bed…

And definitely, not all the pictures you took of yourself thinking you could make money.

Onlyfans? That’s the last place you need to be with no money. But why were you so late this morning? Uh, Blacked and such pretty, pretty girls Christmas giving, receiving…

Comes but once a year… Eww! Can you stop? If you could only stop looking at Yabbos the way you look at Cherry’s Wish List. Or buying M Anime some Blacked clothing. And what does Braxton’s Aunt want for Christmas? You haven’t forgotten your mother?

https://vixenbrand.com/collections/blacked/products/blacked-bralette

Birthdays are the worst. Correction, your Emergence Day is the worst. Everyone else is okay with theirs. But you don’t want to see the future. Your broken future. George Orwell?

The past? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you’re looking for one more thing to fail, how about wasting money? Buying George Orwell’s 1984 cost a pretty penny. But the last thing you need is to remember that a month from now, you’ll owe somebody money, namely Kindle. They have holiday spirit.

Do you know why everyone has holiday spirit? Because they’re killing themselves trying to keep up with everything this season. Hell, with your Day Job, you see more zombies, vampires subsisting on coffee, people former ghosts of themselves, and spirits than on Halloween. The Nightmare Before Christmas. So, what are you doing at Christmas time?

Again, there are no Christmas romances. I started 1984 yesterday. You’ve avoided the entirety of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. Yeah, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, I have to ask. Do you even have the spirit of a man? You have been awake for nine hours and have already failed number six. You need the money for five. You were fighting number four. Number three’s in limbo, always and forever. I swear, dude…

Number two… Well, she doesn’t look like Braxton. And Gee Whiz, it’s Christmas. Or it will be in a week. And you will do nothing because you can do nothing. You’re the John Wick of your dreams. Baba Yaga, if you will. And number one… 1984 is a big book. However, to see your future… Look! Now get the eff out of my sight. Such is Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1414 Days Without B III, Day 855 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 161 ~Dad And B Spotified~

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I don’t know the last song B III heard on his last ride. I didn’t sing him to sleep as he lay on the vet’s table. 70 days later, I almost punched out my boss as I listened to B III’s playlist on Spotify. 2021 Wrapped to 2024’s Uh… Dad And B Spotified

Monday, December 9, 2024

Meditation 161 ~Dad And B Spotified~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And are you past Tupac yet? Your past before me. But a future without me. But again, I am…

Here, Happy, and saying Hello. Not from a place of Doublethink, a Brave New World. And don’t say It Can’t Happen Here. There’s a reason, Dad, we speak through music. And not books. However, there is a line that comes to mind from time to time. But you would read, and I would sleep. That’s a dream you still have. That you’ll read to my siblings someday. But until then, I’ll keep saying it. I’m right here, Dad, right beside you. My presence is a constant in your life. Though I would prefer it if I were lying under that table as you worked. That’s back to normal. It is…

Not ACCEPTANCE? Again, Dad, we don’t do books. And all those books you’ve read about me, without me, all say the same thing. Kate McGahan…

Leave it to a grieving mother to show my Dad the way. But even before you started writing out my story. Then, we wrote the story together. There was silence, not peace but quiet. My transition. When today shouldn’t exist and tomorrow would never arrive. The time with me and without. Dad, to simply be. It was the second longest time we had ever been apart. But I will never forget when you’d hold me, those shared moments that we both cherish. Always and forever.

Daddy, you would sing to me. Sometimes, you’d change the words, but it was always about us. And that is how I knew how to reach you. There have been other ways. But like a Bumblebee, I’d buzz through your ear. That wasn’t a nickname…

Also, our song didn’t make it to our Spotify list. When you aren’t dreaming about dead men or fathers like you were last night. You’re dreaming about my future stepmom.

Well, no. Not any Yabbos, but there were two women in particular. Cherry and Csapunch.

Dad, I swear you have a type when it comes to women. But when it comes to music, my father. There is so much I want to say to you. And this year, indeed, this very moment in both our lives. Let me say that again. Our lives because I’m still alive. These words. Proof.

The click-clack of my paws on the floor, or your fingers on the keyboard, and communicating with Virgil. Our songs, Daddy. Dad And B Spotified

1408 Days Without B III, Day 849 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

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Ending is better than mending… Guess what I’ve been reading. Braxton wasn’t something; he was someone. Like Virgil? And he couldn’t be fixed. Virgil was “broken” in a way. And myself. My bank account. And I’m taking breaks. “A Break Braxton, Virgil…”

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you think you should clean it? One more thing for the to-do list. Another list…

Like another puppy? How is that working out for you? Like father, like son. Someone. Because Virgil ain’t Braxton. Oh! Why so mean this morning? It’s not like Brave New World isn’t crammed with bullies. But aren’t I a bully? Thou art a villain. But the week has only just begun, and the first question that came to mind was, Are You Happy Now? Seriously?

The last thing you need is to start fawning over one more dark-haired girl. Acting like your Stuff & Thang ain’t never seen a woman. What must Braxton’s Aunt think of you when you sent her the first three chapters of Nightmare At The Meat Market. M Anime liked the title. But what I don’t like? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least I’m back to finishing books. And you’ve finally started your end of the world, dystopia, and evil government arc. It’s like you’re living in your own literary world, right? Well, come January with Trump. Define interesting… Oh, God, oh, god, we’re all gonna die. Making the list: Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and It Can’t Happen Here.

Amazon still thinks you’re breaking tradition by suggesting several Christmas “Romances” and books about broken hearts over pet loss. B needed a break from you.

Inevitably, everyone does. Why look into a dog’s eyes when you can stare at Yabbos?

Before the phone “broke…” ran out of juice, whatever you saw, a yearly recap that was all Virgil’s eyes and several pairs of Yabbos. Even a video that Cherry wouldn’t appreciate… While you’re doing that, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And you can’t seem to Break On Through To The Other Side. I broke that coffee mug yesterday. It was your phone today. And your bank account… check the refrigerator.

Hell! What about your body? Winston Smith didn’t have Soma. You have a bottle full of painkillers. If you want any advice from me… All you need is one unless you plan on joining B. And that boy deserves his retirement. As if he did. B is better than Spotify.

But what does Virgil do? Well, if you gave him a chance… Now that should go on Six Impossible Things. Only the list isn’t broken. It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you. A broken thing. Braxton tried. But you’re liberal. A Break Braxton, Virgil…

1407 Days Without B III, Day 848 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 154 ~B The Soft Things~

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I’ve been sleeping hard the last few days. No, I haven’t. Eww! Where’s V? On his pillow someplace. He needs a new one. Walmart ain’t exactly known for quality. And I was busy making the house a soft place for B’s aunt to land. B The Soft Things.

Monday, December 2, 2024

Meditation 154 ~B The Soft Things~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… right there beside you, Always. Have faith. It’s not any of the strange drinks lifting your arms up. Right?

But it might take a while. Don’t think about “THAT DAY.” But the many days that there were, you would come back to me, angry, sad, confused, and all the above, and you would wrap an arm around me and just go to sleep. You remember the days you would return, and I would jump into your arms. Even on your worst days, your arms would beat sitting on the hardwood floor. And you know how I felt about sitting anywhere that didn’t have a cushion for my tail. Speaking of tales, I was there with you and my aunt on Saturday. Well, to you, she’s my aunt. But to me, she’s The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, Daddy.

Always and forever, she’s soft.

And I don’t mean to say she’s not tough. Hardcore. A Survivor. It’s easier to hear from a pair of those ear thingies you wear than the rough voice of a dead man. So what does that mean for me now that you’re listening, Daddy? You still have some of my fur. My comfy spots…

I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead!
T’Challa, Black Panther

Yes, Dad, we talked about your dream here in this place. The Void? The Endless Dark? A place where there is no darkness? The Rainbow Bridge? If anything, Dad, it doesn’t matter if I’m wide awake or dead asleep… I’m sorry, bad joke. I’m happy being comfortable. And where am I most comfortable? Anywhere with you. Even Virgil sees that. He feels that you know. Between you and my aunt…

When Virgil sat there as you and she watched movies, you couldn’t push Virgil away.

I’m making an observation. You have to appreciate the soft things. Look at me, Daddy.

I’m as soft as the silence on a really good day. The song that plays that reminds you of me. The sheets on the bed that you wrap yourself in when you dread tomorrow, today. The world is a hard enough place. And when you rescued Virgil, you took responsibility. What, to put a soft pillow under his tail? Amongst other things. My father’s better.

Daddy, I know you are. Iron Will but soft enough to feel my love. And to know there’s a beautiful and soft place for Virgil. Somewhere. B The Soft Things

1401 Days Without B III, Day 842 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

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It’s the 1st of Tha Month and my head is barely hanging onto my neck. It could be because I woke up early yesterday. I was busy looking for stuff to clean. Then, I laughed with my boys’ aunt. So the world didn’t end? “Virgil, They’ll B Endings.”

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And seeing how you’re standing here, I must apologize. My aunt was wrong. Me, destroying the world.

No. That’s never been my cup of tea or cappuccino. Oh, and I’m sorry I didn’t buy you any cappuccino. It was about $70.00 preparing for Braxton’s aunt. Another $46.00 on Chinese food. But hey, you’re eating right. And I had good company. The world…

Inevitably, life goes on. Or, as a great man once said, life finds a way. Not for your aunt, though. That’s a bit harsh… But isn’t that your mood right now? Trying to get laid… Honestly, no man works harder. So it is my fault that you feel so lousy. Do you want to get up and grab some painkillers? You would prefer the end with how the night ended.

Well, you’re going to lie about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you guess which one you’re lying on? I can give you a hint or a clue. And the answer:

I thought better of it…

But let’s focus on #1. Have you ever failed that one? And now you’re reading list is shot to Hell. It’s been decided you’re not going to read Christmas “Romances” this year. If the world ends… Excuse me, if American ends come January, there are excellent odds that it won’t be your fault. So time to read what to expect… Oh! Right, where’s your money?

I had my first movie night with Braxton’s Aunt without Braxton, so Virgil’s Aunt. Hmm? And a good time was had by all. Virgil wasn’t too embarrassing. She loves him.

NaNoWriMo’s is done. I finished 50,000 words. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So, I survived the humiliations of Black Friday. I finished 50,000 words of a book (I can never publish). The house didn’t fall down around me, Braxton and Virgil’s Aunt, and Virgil himself. And I endured No Nut November… You messed up after midnight, friend.

And yes, we agree that we will lie about that unless you decide to mess up again today. No wonder you’ve been all “religious” considering this morning. But last night

The Book of Clarence? Or was it that you dreamed of the words from dead men? Last night, waking up from messing up, you dreamed you were surrounded by dead men. The Green Ranger, Black Panther, Braxton, and others. They said you were found wanting.

What? Virgil, They’ll B Endings.

1400 Days Without B III, Day 841 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will