Tag: Power

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

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The theme for today is “Move B***H, get out the way.” There are stronger fighters than me. Better dog walkers. Better kids… My sister pays for her own crap, like a house. And me? The last time I was almost somebody was in the womb. Almost A B, Virgil

Saturday, February 28, 2026

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Almost. I’m only about $999,998,000 short. Speaking of short, I’m almost 6’ by way of 5’5”.

Yeah, that might matter to a girl like Leoshi “‘Cause she don’t know me, but yo, she’s really fine.” And what about “Moesha”? Speaking of pop culture, I can’t stand, my Olds watched it religiously—prime black television. But I despised Moesha and Frank Mitchell.

What a way to end another Black History Month, almost. Talking about Black people I don’t like. You would think I was turning MAGA, almost. But no. People hating people.

I wouldn’t say no to Michelle Obama. I enjoy watching Jasmine Crockett kick ass—Jahara Jayde (Homer drool). There was a time I was crazy for Misty Stone. Uh, Jenna Fox, when she was the college tutor. And here I thought I was going to speak somewhat righteously, Lunalesca. Almost.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m getting tired of Almost like Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III” got tired of the words “Of Course.” And as Moesha/Brandy sings “Almost Doesn’t Count.” I’m always almost.

STUPID, I’m sure, but take this morning as an example: Whiteout Survival, State vs State fight. I position my city, and I’m quickly told to get to the back of the line. Why is that?

“Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I’m not too blind to see.”
Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones

“Higher, further, faster, baby,”
Carol Danvers, from Captain Marvel (2019)

And sadly, I know I’m not, I can’t be any of these things. Is that the right word, Lu, sadly?

Up until five minutes ago. “And then THEY call. And I remember.” My Olds, Lunalesca.

Then skin and bones, sickly, and yes, my dear, STUPID, all come to mind. I’m almost a man. “Human” and “Ordinary Human.” Their bum son.

Now you see why I hate my phone… Almost. Braxton despised the tiny glowing tech. “The Glow Box” in Braxton speak. But then there’s his potential stepmom M Anime, his Favorite Girl, and Cherry’s big Yabbos but even bigger brain. And me a B student? Lunalesca, I’d better be talking about Braxton because I sucked at Higher Learning. Oh B.

One bad playthrough, phone call, and playing the perverter of prose, and my day’s effed.

But I saved M Anime’s, almost. Do I love her like pancakes? Nah, that’s Braxton. However, thinking about some idiot game, the worst president in “my lifetime,” my Olds, and pretty much 99% of the human population. I can’t be almost! Not to her. Virgil. Braxton… Almost A B, Virgil

1854 Days Without B III, Day 1295 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 237 ~Virgil Shocks Mister B~

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I’m not shocked I wake up in Hell. It’s more the bits of light I see. Small, like V. Crawling up beside me during the night. The big um like my girl’s… Anyway, I’m still surprised when I don’t see B around. The nightstand… Virgil Shocks Mister B

Monday, February 23, 2026

Journey 237 ~Virgil Shocks Mister B~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… “Did you sleep well? Did you wake up feeling good?” “Today, you are who you are today, see?” SIGH

I’m sorry I had to go all Cowboy Bebop, Dad. This would be Session# 18: Speak Like A Child. If it’s anything that gets you up in the morning, it’s not being able to breathe…

That’s thanks to me sitting on your head. It’s bad news like being late to “The Bad Place,” SIGH. You don’t want to talk about that right now. And then there’s some girl’s boobs, ha-ha. I remember those “conversations we would have before my Favorite Girl would come over. “B, stay off her boobs (Yabbos), butt, and don’t play with or lick your own balls.”

As long as both of you gave me bites to eat, I could agree to that. “To keep me awake and alive.” Okay, I was greedy. “In Your Eyes,” thank you, father, oh, and Peter Gabriel as well. Shocking enough, Virgil doesn’t have such problems. He doesn’t have the balls.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Literally. When was the last time you woke up feeling good? It’s shocking enough when you have something to look forward to. My potential stepmom M Anime. The glow box.

I still can’t stand the little ones. I prefer the big one you would watch with my Favorite Girl whenever she comes over. Dad, you like big ones too, you know, M Amine, Faye Valentine, Takago Kuga, Sylvia van Hossen, and Sakai Kyouko. To name a few. I mean, how did M Anime get her name? She was into Anime and is as freaky as the girls. Um, just wow!

I still stand by my view that the best legs, breasts, and thighs come in a bucket of chicken or a box. Not shocking at all. But today, I don’t know, you’re looking for something to wake you up, to buzz you. And finding a gray hair on your wrist isn’t going to do it.

Honestly, you don’t want to remember how I went from puppy to Old Man as if I were Jesus Christ. 12 to 30. It was my plan… You looked into my eyes, and you saw a man you could be proud of. You didn’t have to worry about me. Is that what’s wrong with V?

When he and everyone else look at you… You prefer Anime. Virgil Shocks Mister B

“We cannot live in fear of losing those we love, because that also means giving up on truly living.”
― The Pet Loss Healing Pathway

“He feeds his soul on what is nothing but a picture, groaning deeply, and his face is wet with tears.”
― The Aeneid (Book 1)

1849 Days Without B III, Day 1290 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

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It’s not a headache. It’s not B’s furry butt telling me he needs to potty. It’s not even when my tablet fell and cracked my glasses. I still have eyes… But I feel like my head on my shoulders is too much. Me? My boys? Well, “Braxton And Virgil Tops.”

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you know I’m lying. A bad night’s sleep will do that—bad dreams, aka nightmares.

My own? Yeah, because if we were talking about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, I’d be hard as an effing rock. M Anime’s dreams turn me on. She and General Xu, Boss, and Associate. And two of my biggest fantasies at the moment. Cuckoldry, Ravishment.

Dreams? The only thing I remember about my dream last night was beating the crap out of some blonde frat boy like I was Will Hunting in “Good Will Hunting.” I had to take it out on somebody. That’s not good to say, considering I am a father. Wanna-be Husband:

“All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town

Not just yet. Remember December? And now, the mid- to late week of June. Summer Vacation? Where to go, Lady Lunalesca? To the stars. Heaven. Take me to bed, Will.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If a girl ever says those five words to me, I’m putty in her hands. I swear to Braxton, Lu:

In my hands, nothing turns to putty
― Michelle Huddleson

“Somewhere Only We Know.” “In My Place.” SIGH “Just one year and then you’d be happy.” That’s what Gerry Rafferty is singing about. In bed with my Boricua or on “Baker Street?” Speaking of the street, did I forget that I have a major cash issue to deal with, Lu?

Hell, I didn’t remember to go to bed until midnight. I woke up hunched over on this same love seat. And you wonder why I felt the need to bash someone’s head in. “In Dreams.”

Or maybe I was trying to wake myself up. “I’m Black, Y’all” and still ain’t MAGA. Eff them and FDT!

Um, the American Dream? Ok, I wish I could go all Christopher Stone, Freedom Fighters:

“New Yorkers, fellow Americans… I am Chris Stone, the so-called “Freedom Phantom”. I stand before you today a free man, and I vow to die a free man. Like you, my world was shattered eight long months ago. I watched as my family and friends were tortured, captured, and killed. I have nothing left of my former life… except the hope for a better future… a better future for our children – the American dream! I, for one, still believe in that dream. We’ve read this in our schoolbooks as children; now is the time for us to embrace those ideals and stand up against the weight of Tyranny. We have a duty to ourselves to throw off our oppressors. When I look around this city, I do not see smoldering ruins… no, instead I see a sleeping army, ready to awaken. The world is watching us now… how we respond will prove our claim. I stand before you and the world today to reaffirm the pledge our forefathers made to each other, and for each of us, to protect our lives, our fortunes, and our self-worth. So I ask you now to take up arms against the evil invaders and yell in their faces that.
THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR
FREEDOM!”
― Freedom Fighters

But, Hell, Lunalesca, what did I do for Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Braxton’s Birthday? I haven’t even watched the Olympics. And didn’t I say I would look up some Black Haremlit authors? Damn, am I not a Black Erotic Author? Perv with a blog.

Worse. I’m a forty-one-year-old bum sitting on a loveseat playing Whiteout Survival, which is the thought that had me zoned out last night and waking up the way I did.

Lunalesca, I love my boys. Braxton and Virgil are tops. My four-legged sons. But crap:

“And maybe I forgot
All things I miss
Oh, somehow I know
There’s more to life than this.”
Kid Rock

Lunalesca, I want that white-picket fence, wife, family, that New York Times bestseller, my “adult studio. Braxton And Virgil Tops

1847 Days Without B III, Day 1288 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 230 ~Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil~

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A $400 expense… I heard that it can ruin most Americans. And if Virgil got sick… As sick as Braxton. Gone are the days I could help out his Favorite Girl. And what about my Favorite Girl? She hustles, and I try, but still Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil.

Monday, February 16, 2026

Journey 230 ~Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Beats “In God We Trust,” doesn’t it? It wasn’t the dollars you spent, I looked forward to hearing, ever.

The luxury of children, am I right? More like, am I write? Your back pocket, body, and brain. What a day to wake up to at The Bad Place. You know that place you would go to all the time, and when you came back, you didn’t want to talk for a long time. Sleepy?

That’s what today reminds me of. After “The Long Walk…” Maybe that’s what I should call The Bad Place. Unimaginable riches? For me, that is being with you, Dad. Fries?

Daddy, you got me there, but they didn’t hurt, did they? Golden fries, I should say—and green paper. We’re going on six years… Five years, 16 days. And color is still a new thing.

They speak to me, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like how music speaks to you. Beauty and a beat. Let’s say that’s you and M Anime, my father. Beasties and a beat? That would be Virgil and me. Remind me to talk to my little bro. I need to go all Shadow to Chance on him. “Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.” Another long walk? The one wish? And isn’t it “Ironic?” My wish was for “The Long Walk” to have two winners. And yours? To be with me. Keep “Running Up That Hill.” And we both “die” on our respective hills. You just have much farther to go.

Today, you woke up wondering how you’re going to make it without an almighty dollar.

Do I “Speak Like A Child? 21, January 31, 2026.

But I’ll leave the Cowboy Bebop references and Faye Valentine kink to your favorite girl, M Anime. Really, Dad, Eww! You and my potential stepmom. But I’ll tell you this, Daddy, I’d rather be behind your door listening to hear teach you dirty Spanish than hear you breathe your last because a green piece of paper told you that you aren’t good enough. My father.

There is a little white ball of fluff that is your son and my little brother lying at your feet. Yes, V has trouble being woke, he’s weepy, and he’s a bit of a wimp. He is his Dad’s son.

I’m just kidding. But listen to Virgil. Listen to the Man In The Mirror. But SIGH! Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
― By Sophia Grace

“Do not give way to misfortune, but press on the more bravely.”
― The Aeneid

1842 Days Without B III, Day 1283 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

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An 80 is a B. Cs get degrees. And I was praying for a D on paper when I was done playing with the one in my pants. I have been out of school a long time. But my woman is teaching me about Chinese Myths and Naughty Spanish. Hot? 80’s A B, Virgil.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not if I’m not a mediocre white man who dares to call himself the president. Hmm.

Not that I can talk, my dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m the one who’s looking up, do dogs’ tongues burn on ChatGPT? All I know is Braxton stuck his tongue into a cup of hot chocolate and winced. And then he had the nerve to look at me as if I had done something wrong. Well I kil.. had him euthanized several years later. I did. 100% I believe it, Luna.

13 days shy of his 16th birthday. What a lovely way to say I love you. Braxton and I had a good life. “Him and I.” He was my little sister’s dog. And then I go and spoil it all by saying “Something Stupid,” like I love you to him. And then he’s my dog.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My son. And how did I honor him yesterday? As a matter of fact, how did I honor his little brother, Virgil? The “Tango Maureen?” The Tango Virgil. Hell! The Tango M Anime for “real…” with no regrets. Have I ever told you how hot M Anime is? I’ve got a thing for Puerto Rican girls now. Well, one particular Puerto Rican woman and one thing. But if tentacle porn ever becomes real… Anyway, what was I saying? I spent most of Braxton’s birthday… Doing things with M Anime, I should be doing today. How much did I spend last Valentine’s Day? Total? Why am I not doing that now? Is this an 80’s hit?

No, it was 1990, “The King of Wishful Thinking,” Lunalesca.

My breakup theme for her in August. Then January rolled around, and it seems (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again.” M Anime and I aren’t quite there yet. Um, she’s sure she’s in love. But I’m the guy who has been mourning his dead furry kid forever.

Is five years forever? Come talk to me on October 20th, 2026, and if Virgil is still “Safe And Sound.” Suppose everything hasn’t burned thanks to MAGA. I’m quite comfortable at 80 degrees. If I were truly in love with M Anime, I’d be playing 98 Degrees’ “I Will Still Love You.” Suppose I were a better man, Lunalesca. But I’m living on 80 bucks. Not enough for “Love and Happiness.” 80’s A B, Virgil.

1840 Days Without B III, Day 1281 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 223 ~Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil~

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Didn’t I say last week I didn’t feel like partying? So, last night? I’d watched a game I cared nothing about, bought food I couldn’t afford. Let V eat his heart out. And stared at the ceiling for hours. Upper room? “Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil.”

Monday, February 9, 2026

Journey 223 ~Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? A good night anyway. A full belly, an open heart (compared to MAGA)

And while Heaven is as good at its open-door policy as you were. I’ve never been so tempted not to go “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.” Not that I ever did in the first place, Dad.

“Diggin’” at you? Of course not, that’s why I used the “Cowboy Bebop” movie… Sorry.

But I can’t help being a bit jealous of you and Virgil after last night. My little brother deserved everything, no doubt. Street Tacos, Ranch Wings with the wild sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings, Fries for him, and Onion Rings for you. Do you remember when my Favorite Girl warned you about Onions? She had to ruin my fun. But “Here I Am” Dad pawing and thinking, I “Gotta Knock a Little Harder.” I’m trying.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Don’t worry, my father, I’ve eaten. The question is “Have you eaten yet?” I’m sure we’ve had Panda Express, but the glow box has been particularly annoying with those commercials, the STUPID Bowl, as you call it. And of all the colors I was introduced to on the Rainbow Bridge, orange is not my favorite color: Mother Effer’s orange, Daddy.

Yes, I know, Language! But I was here the first time that… Human… No, he’s not. Nothing like you, Dad, or any other human. Only I was with you the whole time. Then he left.

Why should either of us care right now? I only want to remember, to celebrate, to bark Here’s To The Night, the many nights, the many days, to the times…

The E-days, the moments grandma or grandpa would come with turkey and ham, or when we would go to that place that stuck me with pokey things (shudders), only you would get me McDonald’s and say you were sorry about all those people muzzling me.

These were our vacations, getaways, and holidays. When my favorite girl would come over, we would have all sorts of food and watch the glow box. Sweet. Peaceful and Awesome.

M Anime wasn’t my potential future stepmom yet, but you were talking to her, Daddy.

Honestly, I’m going to say it, “And in this moment, I am happy.” You’d never say that, I know. Who needs Heaven when “I only want to be with you.” But Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil

“But think about it― what would your pet’s Heaven be like?”
Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“There, the heroes who have lived justly and honorably enjoy endless leisure, free from the burdens of earthly cares.”
Aeneid

1835 Days Without B III, Day 1276 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

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To be a preacher, a porn star, or both as a politician. I wouldn’t be penniless. But I chose the gift or curse of prose, poetry, and simple words on paper. “In God We Trust,” it says on the “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.” “Penniless Braxton And Virgil”

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If only, SIGH. A penny for my thoughts? I’d say people aren’t that STUPID. But then…

MAGA, Nazis, and old pervy men. Hell! Men period. Like I told M Anime yesterday.

Last night, to be specific. My dearest Lunalesca, “Someday,” I may be doing that, doing her, in person. And I hope I’ll be able to say to you that “you were always there for me.”

Okay, enough of the “Sugar Ray” lyrics. One more thing I’ve been doing with my morning, Lady Lu. Music. I’m still paying for Spotify, Hulu, and the Internet in general!

A hundred dollars. I’m all out of patience, money, and I’m “All Out of Love.” Tell that to Braxton, Virgil, M Anime, and eff, the “Man In The Mirror.” So a penny for my thoughts.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I’ve been singin’
Funny when you’re dead, how people start listenin’.”

“If I Die Young.” Forty-one jamming to The Band Perry.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Well, I’m scared for one thing. And fear doesn’t pay. Adds, multiplies, and divides.

Am I talking about myself or MAGA? One more reason to hide inside. Well, as long as I have a place to hide, that is. How much did I spend last night? Every penny matters.

Ironically, pennies are gone thanks to MAGA. Is that irony? Or isn’t it “Ironic” as Alanis Morissette would sing? I have no clue, but it’s effing weird. I go for walks with both of my boys. Virgil on a leash and Braxton’s ashes around my neck. The woman of my dreams lives hundreds of miles away. While any woman close would rip off my balls.

I’m complaining I’m broke, but seeing Cherry’s yabbos. Um broker.

Indecent Proposal as it is. And what about my woman? What about Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Should I say Virgil’s, too? He only met her once. “I’ve seen Better Days,” Lunalesca.

That’s what my boys would say if they could talk to you. Another bit of irony. I think that I’ve talked to Braxton more when I put him in a box than when he was lying next to me, like his little brother is now. Or I watch the Olympics, which is based on promoting world peace in a country at war with its past, its people, and promotes hatred among everyone, everywhere. Effing MAGA. I’d rather see fictional fights (wrestling) than the stupid bowl.

But I’m spending what on food! Penniless Braxton And Virgil

1833 Days Without B III, Day 1274 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 216 ~Braxton, Virgil, Don’t Drink~

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Anything beats the taste of tears. And I wish I had chugged some energy drink. But at the moment, there’s only drool. Work sucks, I know. B isn’t the only one who knows a good song. But I don’t feel much like partying. “Braxton, Virgil, Don’t Drink.”

Monday, February 2, 2026

Journey 216 ~Braxton, Virgil, Don’t Drink~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? Am I really the one asking that? We could both use a drink.

Like father, like son. We don’t drink. My Favorite Girl could tell you that. Grieving…

She’d like to hear from you anyway, Dad, but you’re in no mood, especially since we’re speaking early. Sunday, February 1, 2026. The day after I left five years ago. So you can’t feel bad about not leaving the bed all day. You spent the 31st watching movies, Daddy. I wonder what’s on my little brother’s mind with all this. You know what, scratch that, Dad. And no, I didn’t become a cat or an angel since I got up here, ha! Honestly, Dad, today…

I’m more like a designated driver, more like a walker. I hated your rolling machine.

Daddy, I should also work on my wording. A Walker…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m as much of a zombie as you are a swimmer. But if you keep crying like this, you’ll be “Dead Like Me” soon enough with the flood. Now that was not funny. Sorry Dad. Someone has to lighten the mood. And once upon a time, it was as if I was barking “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head. And with you, Dad, you would always say, when it rains, it pours. But now with Virgil, you know it is/was with me and my little brother, Daddy. “Singin’ In The Rain.” And you are our “Mr. Blue Sky.” Effing soundtrack!

Language! I know Dad. Watch my barks. But after your cry session Saturday, and trying not to drool all over M Anime’s yabbos. Daddy, eww!

She’s been trying to get your attention all day. And “I Can See Clearly Now, the rain is gone.” But not for you last week or this one. You need a whiskey drink, a vodka, a lager, or a cider, right? No, “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness,” right, my father.

Or madness when it comes to you humans and love. Again, Daddy, eww! But I’d… Begrudingly accept you and M Anime. Or even the rage you feel at the Bad Place, which is why again we’re talking “Here And Now.” Am I a doctor, a DJ, some sort of drink specialist, whatever the young humans call bartenders? We’re old men. But drinking, partying. Being happy… Gasps. Braxton, Virgil, Don’t Drink

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Potum Largius Aequo”
The Aeneid

1828 Days Without B III, Day 1269 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

B would give me a look. I remember his last look before life left his eyes. I couldn’t close them. He saw me, his Dad. I didn’t get much sleep the night before we left. You want… ever… single second. It’s been 5 years. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Enough to buy my son’s life from the Grim Reaper, God, and a good night’s sleep?

Not tonight. Five years ago on this very night… Well, it’s morning now, but let’s start with Saturday, January 30, 2021. I was rushing between my son Braxton on the bed and his water bowl on the floor right next to him. Will you look at that, first tears, Lunalesca.

There’ll be plenty of those today, tomorrow, whenever. Anyway, my B was so strong, Lu.

He couldn’t stand me worrying, so he tried jumping out of bed, and I ended up sleeping in his room so he could be by the bowl he insisted on walking to, every single time.

Lunalesca, it was one of his last acts of defiance against death. Of all the bedtime stories I told my son… He’s going to die…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nope! As far as I was concerned, he was going to live forever. Forever and always. My son, Braxton Barks Bradford, was/is invincible, immortal, and insane for loving me, Lu.

The father who failed him. Is this really how I wish to honor my boy? Last year, I wrote his story. Hell! I’ve penned two full-blown novels. One’s out, ha. The other? Book or son?

Virgil? Why is his Dad up at midnight chugging back energy drinks and writing about his dead brother? Other than missing him, being mad at the world, and trying to avoid the flat surface, which is the mattress. Eff Lunalesca! You know why I’m abstaining.

Braxton would think I need the love tonight. Not mourning a dead puppy. And Virgil?

He’s alive and well. 5 years old on the 5th anniversary of Braxton’s passing and 5 months without M Anime, though we “connected” earlier this week. To Forgive. To Accept.

Virgil as my son, my second-born? I’m trying, I swear. Called him B this afternoon…

Welcoming M Anime back into my universe. If I could, then I would. I’ll go “Wherever You Will Go.” Things you can say about your dog/son but not your Ex-Girlfriend?

Lunalesca, for now. I may accept us someday. But Braxton being gone? Again, never ever!

I refuse to accept that. So I will do as always. Cry. A burger and fries in the afternoon, Lu. BBQ for dinner. Movies. May my son Braxton Barks Bradford RIP. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

1826 Days Without B III, Day 1267 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

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If my boy then knew what his Dad knows now. But I don’t blame B. Especially this week. There is always so much noise. The Day Job, the snoring of Braxton’s little doggy bro. And is that the damn phone? And now Braxton’s silence. B’s Last Bark Virgil.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? How many times have you cried today? Three? A coincidence? Does it matter?

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Adam Ewing, David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas

Not enough ocean to drown in. Not enough to sail to come and “Find Me.” Nowhere near enough to cleanse everything. New beginning? M Anime, Virgil. Man In The Mirror?

Daddy. My father. You haven’t heard the last of me. My name? Braxton BARKS Bradford.

It’s all you can hear right now, but what am I saying? “Every Breath You Take.” Every beat of your heart. But you know what I really miss? Well, I am my father’s son. Always.

The noise, the silence, and everything in between those two ears of yours. Daddy’s brain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I hope you don’t mind me saying this. Actually, it’s Forrest Gump anyway. Dear Daddy:

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump

Again, I am my father’s son, and you’re better than this. Don’t think you are…

Know. No? Not this week anyway. Couldn’t you pick the day I ate your French Toast or Waffles? And the day after, when you protected your pancakes. And I got my nickname. “I love you like pancakes,” you would say, “but you have to calm down.” How about the day I jumped into that rolling thing of yours? I wasn’t the only one who hated that. And I can understand why you were always so angry when you came back from “Wherever You Will Go.” But I didn’t know what I was supposed to bark at. So there was silence.

Dad, I would watch you sleep and make sure whatever was chasing you stayed away.

Only I don’t know what that is now, or rather…

She walked, ran, or got effed five months down the road. I know, Dad, Language! You’ve told me I would have liked her, but I’m not sure. Virgil is trying his best. But M Anime, my potential stepmom, you called her. That’s when you began to feel love once more.

That bitch! Again, I’m minding my barks. But she got you “Smokin Out The Window.” And you wouldn’t call her such-and-such. But another reason I’m mad is this. What happens when you get hurt, Dad? You told my Favorite Girl that you can’t imagine any worse pain than yours truly. And so I need to bark loud enough to overcome the boohoo’s, the bawling, and be your boy, always. Woof, woof! B’s Last Bark Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Arma Virumque Cano”
(I sing of arms and the man.)
(Book I, opening line) Aeneid

1821 Days Without B III, Day 1262 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son