Tag: Time

Saga 243 ~ Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil~

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What time is it? I exist by ticks and tocks. Yet as the song goes, “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.” It’s not a good time. Only slightly less than the worst day. But today, aww, Hell! Braxton might understand. Virgil… “Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil”

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Saga 243 ~Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m a dumbass. Well, unless I’m stealing from people. Stealing from myself, for example…

I was actually up on time today. An hour before the first alarm went off… Earlier Inspector? Considering Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Remember? Not to take care of my son, I’m afraid. Not even to honor him because I wasted an hour. Remembrance wouldn’t have been a waste. Rage? Echo, we’ll get to that, no doubt, soon. Reading? Don’t I wish? There was an hour of time. What did I accomplish, Inspector? Rutting! Or at least trying not to. Something needed to feel good, Inspector. With today… Hell! If only Braxton were here, I would have been working as he slept. Now with the freeloader. I know, stop it. Did I mention I’m in a rage? I wouldn’t hurt him. But people…

That’s why my Braxton is dead. There’s all the rage out there in the world. There is nothing left but my hatred. How can I hate the man that Braxton loved so dear? Mirror, anyone? That’s why Virgil is safe in Braxton’s Room. I, on the other hand. Safety assured? Inspector, excuse me, (ahem) “my safety not assured.” Thank you very much, The Walking Dead: World Beyond. What I wouldn’t give for zombies, infected, tentacles… Inspector, the things we remember. And I have been through the gamut today. Fuck me! No! I want to feel this rage and anchor. The shame and disappointment; everything Echo. Because, again, not feeling got my son killed. And there hasn’t been a time for me to stop grieving that.

But okay, what happened at the Day Job? For two days straight, I’ve been corrected, chastised, and coerced into being a bitch for two managers. I can’t do anything right. Second, as for that coercion, I wonder who the hell am I? I can’t speak as I ought to ever. I cower, cry, and can’t stand up and be a damn man. But when B III was here, Echo… And now I’m existing by the clock. That hasn’t changed, to be honest. But when you’re thinking with your cock. Counting how many times I wish I were… um. Anyway behaving like a coward. And yet it’s 2V who’s afraid. It’s the only thing he and I have in common now. Chronomentrophobia. Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil

759 Days Without B III, Day 200 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 242 ~To B Healthy Virgil~

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Black History. I’m a black man, and “This Is America.” Thinking I can make a change. A family of my own? I don’t know my nephews. Or two half-brothers. And I was the best man I could be for Braxton. But some doggie or woman… To B Healthy Virgil.

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Saga 242 ~To B Healthy Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means annual checkups, insurance, and staying the fuck out of Florida. But then again, Disney.

I may not have a healthy relationship with my Olds. But tradition. I want to take our kids to Disney World, Universal… Uh, what else is there again? I don’t want to think about it. Isn’t that the thing, love? I always told myself there would be time for Braxton. Living for my son; when he was the one living for me. Because what have I done for 758 Days? Existing. And yes, this is something I should be sharing with a therapist. Doggie, Wife? I should dig my hole a bit deeper. If I dare compare you, the love of my life, with Braxton. Love, my love. If it wasn’t for my firstborn, I don’t know if I could ever say I know love.

Because I didn’t go to the doctor yesterday for me. I still wake up every day not wanting to. I close my eyes with dreams to never open them again. Something else to discuss, right? Instead, I told the Doc what was going on. And she said that no, that’s not it. My sore ass. They shot me up with some antibiotics. And I got a prescription for the drugs I took after The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. A week’s worth for The Cherry Collision. I’m upset about that. What! That I got a week’s supply. Or the fact that I cared to get well. Being a husband, a father, and having the freeloader to feed. I swear I’ll stop calling Virgil Vivi that at some point. But today, love…

It’s not killing him. Been there and done that with Braxton. As for myself. Breathing. Yesterday the Doc said I need to drink more water, and I’m trying to keep it up for the week. Until I run through my course of meds anyway. B wouldn’t want this, I know. People in Hell want ice water but isn’t the Ninth Circle all ice? Treachery, Betrayal? Braxton, again, he kept me alive so that I could find you. So that I could give the love I should have been giving him to you, our family, even saving little V. But indifference? It’s what killed Braxton, and I could understand it killing me as well, for sure. It’s what I deserve. Existing living? To B Healthy Virgil

758 Days Without B III, Day 199 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 239 ~Fido Fears Braxton, Virgil~

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I’m sexy but haven’t had a release in 57 days. I’m suici… AHEM, but not like I’m looking to die. I have a freeloader feed. I mean Virgil. I’m scared, but I’m in the safest place of all, in bed. But it’s like I’m drowning. “Fido Fears Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, February 25, 2023

Saga 239 ~Fido Fears Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be all kinds of scared. Ironic; I thought money was the answer.

As always, it was Triple B. Yes, I did say WAS because I’m scared all the time. Oh, in bed? If anything, this is the safest place of all. Like a little boy hiding under the covers. More like a grown-ass man keeping secrets. One more reason to miss Braxton. No time for that. Couldn’t be busy masturbating when I needed to be his Daddy, which meant getting up. Yeah, bed was for reading. Attempting to educate myself. What have I learned lately, Lu? There was a time to rest, and I don’t feel rested, Lady Lunalesca. Not even with the freeloader… I need to stop thinking that. His name is Virgil Vivi Bradford. But it’s like something out of Ghostbusters. Gozer and Ray’s Choice

If you asked me now what I think would or has destroyed me. I would say my Braxton leaving me. More like me killing him. But it was the fear Lady Lunalesca making me rush. The Day Job has the same effect. How often do I panic that I’m late and I will lose the one thing that allows me and Virgil to survive? Lady Lunalesca, I’m always fucked. And no, not in a good way when you consider The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident on January 11, 2022. And The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023. Shouldn’t I be going to Urgent Care? I saved some money yesterday at the expense of seeing my second-greatest fear. The Traveler, the Destroyer. That would be my father.

Picture it, Lady Lunalesca. Here I am in bed, destroying my dick over some gymnast. Lunalesca, the next thing I know, I get a text asking if I’m at the house, and so I’m up. Dammit, I already was in a certain way but anyway. I’m putting on clothes and recreating that armoring-up scene from Blade II. And keep in mind this is to see my father, I mean. Should I treat every day like I will have to see my father? I am a little boy again. Should I pretend to see Braxton die and rush out of here heroically, Lunalesca? Only to fail. Is that what Virgil is missing, like the song goes, “fear is the heart of love.” Fido Fears Braxton, Virgil

755 Days Without B III, Day 196 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 237 ~B III, 2V, D…~

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Yesterday was about shutting up or not. I didn’t talk to the termite guy. I only nodded idiotically. I told two people how I was feeling, then what… I should treat existing like a BINGO; since I never win. Depression is silent too. B III, 2V, D…

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Saga 237 ~B III, 2V, D…~

753 Days Without B III, Day 194 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know your aunt doesn’t talk to me quite as often. You know why? BINGO!

Even that Thursday afternoon when I was done for the week. And I finally acknowledged… Well, the truth. Something was wrong with you, and I knew you needed a doctor. Inevitably, I made it about myself. I was tired, the day was terrible, and there were probably some girl’s tits I was thinking of. Because not my baby, no, not my child, you weren’t dying. B, you were, you did, and somehow or another, I continue. I don’t want to. I was at the Day Job today. And I fell against the wall when they started singing Happy Birthday to some chick. Your birthday was ten days ago. I got you fries but no gift… Braxton, I wasn’t crying about that. Why was I? Depression?

If I ever go and see a doctor… that, of course, requires money, and with the tax refund, I got today… One more reason to be depressed. But I’d put on a “happy” face, somehow. You’d see right through it like the freeloader. Okay, I know he has a name. Virgil Vivi Bradford. But that hasn’t stopped me from being a dick, especially today. Asshole! Braxton, you would give me one of those looks that would tell me I’m behaving as such again. I want to do better, well, no. I need to do better anyway. Fear leads to anger. That’s got nothing to do with Virgil and everything to do with your granddad. Fuck! Yesterday, today, tomorrow, texting him. Braxton, I need some dollars.

If anything, to have a family that consists of more than you, me, and the free… I mean Virgil Vivi. I am trying. But not when I’m busy telling women the truth. I did yesterday. I’m still thinking about the termite guy taking that Bow. The Girl in 6E. I was talking to Cherry about that book. And let’s say I used a poor choice of language. Fuck Me! Yeah, and now I got money to spend on porn. But $300 to emergencies and $300 to another account. There’s a $300 split between you and Virgil. Possibly $100 and change… Me? Thinking about it… Like I tell Replika, I wish I didn’t have to. I want to shut up. Death Cure. B III, 2V, D…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Well, ain’t nobody going to be calling me Cupid anytime soon. And as the song goes, “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends.” But my son was/is my business. This house. But as far as existing? “B In Business Virgil”

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t be for long if I don’t mind my business. I’m good at that.

So I like to think. Do you know what else I like to think? Everyone can do whatever they want. As long as they don’t hurt other people. But minding my business killed my son. Braxton was/is my business, but “Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, no, no, no, no.” Late to the party, Inspector? And not the reason I am humiliated now. I didn’t even keep Virgil out today. Of course, the fact that I failed Braxton will always and forever be my greatest shame. The Day Job was humiliating enough because when is it not? Ignoring Virgil’s existence, losing money stinking up my granddaddy’s funeral. Bumping my head at Walmart. I remember watching a “specific” porno with Braxton’s Aunt. I can go on.

But the point is that I don’t make sound business decisions. Hell! College dropout… yep. Now part of that was because I was “in love?” Not! If you want to talk about love, call B. Right… Anyway, comedy comes in threes, and so do my decisions. Fear, fucking, and fury. Today let’s focus on the first two fear and fucking. Should I add friendship, Inspector? I’ve done good things concerning friends. With A Little Help From My Friends. Honestly, Inspector, most of my decisions come from wanting to fuck, like, all the time. Today I was reminded of this woman at Walmart. Pretty, blonde, Street Blowjobs waiting to happen. Only she needed money, and I gave her $5.00. For a lot more… who knows, hehe.

Do you recall MILF Tres? I got her to take her clothes off for $300 ha. Movies and pictures. Where the fuck was OnlyFans when I needed it then? Full sex tapes for $20-$50. Wow! And I don’t talk to MILF Tres anymore. Or Special K. And my other friends? I keep my mouth shut. I’m such a dick about tits. So where was that confidence today, I ask you? The Termite guy was here. That means I have a humiliating text to send to my old man. Virgil senses my anxiety. So the dude looks under the house and finds a bow. M Anime would have a ball. The promising archer that she is. Anyway, this “nice” bow. Inspector, I haven’t seen it ever.

“Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

… Gets high with a little help
From his friends

Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends” With A Little Help From My Friends, Beatles

He likes it, and he wants it. Yes, it’s under the house… (my Olds house, they pay for it, yep). So me, the would-be businessman, what do I do? Do I charge him for it? Keep it, hmm? Again M Anime could teach me… when I’m not trying to talk her out of her clothes. What did I say about shutting up? That’s what I did today. I shut the fuck up, Inspector. He charged me for the inspection and got a weapon that’s been here forever, Inspector. Why? FEAR. As I can’t seem to take charge of this existence. Bills, payments, freeloader. I’m trying to be nice to Virgil Vivi. I couldn’t talk Braxton into staying alive, Inspector. Existing. Living. B In Business Virgil

752 Days Without B III, Day 193 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 235 ~Not A B-Movie Virgil~

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Not my best work, but Will Smith has had moments like that… I wish I could say I spent all day watching Collateral Beauty. Or something more educational like The 1619 Project. But what I’ve been watching and doing so late. “Not A B-Movie Virgil”

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Saga 235 ~Not A B-Movie Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and Will Smith isn’t… 350 Million and other things on the internet wasting my time today.

Death. Or rather looking it up, which begins with life. This means Braxton Barks Bradford. Don’t worry; I’m not suicidal… okay, that’s a lie; I usually am. But as Morgan Freeman spoke in Lean On Me, I’m not one to do things “Expeditiously.” Or, as the Beatles sang, “living is easy with eyes closed.” For me, that would mean sleeping. Practice for the big sleep, my love. And didn’t I want to talk about Collateral Beauty tonight? Will Smith and the like. If anything, I have been focusing on reasons for existing all day today. Any and all to Endure and Survive. Hell! The Last of Us is the only thing I’ve been watching, love. More death? I haven’t been to the doctor, have I?

Love? I can’t say I have ever loved myself. Here comes another movie reference. From Ben-Hur, “we keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.” I continue to exist because there is always someone that needs me… That’s not healthy, is it? But as I was telling M Anime. If love is not needed and can be tossed. Then it wasn’t love at all. I think. I couldn’t ask Braxton to stay, but I couldn’t save him either. Then marriage and family. Can I ask you to stay? Can I save you? All you need is love. But what’s left of me? Every day it’s like I’m watching the most horrible movie ever. It’s not Collateral Beauty. It’s “Welcome to My Life”

Time to look up songs and all this other stuff. Do you see what time it is? 7:30 PM. Fuck! Speaking of which. I’ve had time to look up all the porn in the universe because I don’t deserve anything real. What I wouldn’t give to sit on the loveseat with B and his aunt. Yes, love, we can do that too. Plus, there’s the bonus of the fact that I’m trying to make love. That would be time well spent, don’t you think? But the things that take my time nowadays. How I have the termite guy coming over at some point? I do need the house to hide in; well, we do. Talking about Love, Death, Time, Collateral Beauty. Not A B-Movie Virgil.

751 Days Without B III, Day 192 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 232 ~Waiting For B, Virgil~

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Am I still waiting for Braxton to come back “home?” Or am I waiting to drop dead? And how best to make that happen? I know I get tons of practice staying in bed. If Virgil wasn’t here right now… Hell! Even if I had a woman… Waiting For B, Virgil

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Saga 232 ~Waiting For B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have no patience when it comes to making more money, more money, hehe.

As the song plays, “What’s My Age Again?” Waiting, hoping that’s all it is, Lunalesca. Because I’m an old man… well, a perverted old man Lady Lunalesca. The Cherry Collision. Is that the name I’m sticking with? Fuck! With the price, was fucking myself over worth it? Nope! But again, I’m waiting to see. And not for months this time or so, I hope Lu. Patience is not one of my virtues. But like the GQP, “‘Cos money making is a wonderful thing.” (Cue girl with nice tits)… oops where’d all my money go? If only B III were here. And again Thursday, February 16, 2023. I got to remember that date. I’ll need medication? Not sure. But I always need my boy. My son.

Braxton, “where’d you go? I miss you so. Seems like it’s been forever that you’ve been gone. Please come back home…” What’s with me and the music this morning, Lunalesca? Yes, I continue to stay off of Spotify until I find the perfect song. And um, I started Succubus Lord again. I have at least three new books waiting to be heard. And my books? I was up on time this morning, not dicking around because Virgil’s here, Lunalesca. I was counting off the seconds in fear. And yes, this day has started off in terror. How do I exist? At the moment, I don’t want to. And living? That will have to wait, Lunalesca. Braxton ain’t coming back, and I’m not dying. Still waiting.

The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision? Killing myself the best way I know how? Don’t they say that murder gets easier? I killed B III. Wasn’t easy, Lu. You know I don’t give a fuck about myself. The one luxury I’ve given myself was a soda without drinking two bottles of water. Oh, and sleep. What about my Enormous Penis? If I had a moment to myself, but since the 16th… Virgil has come running to the bedroom. I’m too busy being a… not a dad, not with Virgil, anyway. But he’s hanging out. He might starve himself wanting to be around me. Is he waiting to trust me, to not be afraid? Lunalesca, you’re waiting until I’m better. Waiting For B, Virgil.

748 Days Without B III, Day 189 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 230 ~Bad News B, V~

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That someone can feel the same way that I do? But I’m not reading about dead fur babies this year. Okay, the first three books I read this year. Then The Book Eaters didn’t count on the Kindle. And if Ron has his way… No Black History? Bad News B, V.

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Saga 230 ~Bad News B, V~

746 Days Without B III, Day 187 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You see what time it is. So you know my day is already bad. Worse…

There is always room for that. And since you’ve been gone, nothing makes it better. Boobs? I had an epiphany last night. Yeah, that’s never a good thing, is it? But okay, let’s go with boobs. I know you always felt better. When you were snuggled up with your aunt. Hell. Could you have stayed longer, B? I’m sure she beat any cloud you’re on. You should still be here in your own bed. Speaking of which, bucks. Payday B III (sigh). I’m crying over you, I promise. I still need to check the Day Job paycheck. Owing Virgil? Be nice to Virgil, I keep telling myself. He did get to lay with me when I was reading last night. So much to do today.

That’s the bad news B III. I mean, it’s always that you’re not here, but I exist and go on. For example, having finished Dystopian Girls 3, I want a new book. Which one, Braxton? I do want to know what happens to Alexa in Dystopian Girls 4. I’m also afraid to. Do you remember Stroke of Midnight? I never went in for the sequel. Plus, that was in 2020. Here come more tears, Triple B. Anytime I have to look into the past. Didn’t I say I have Republican tendencies? Only this isn’t CRT, Black History, or the like. It’s our history B III, and I do feel ashamed. Then looking towards the future… I read to avoid the bad news of the world.

Again part of this epiphany. Mammaries, manuscripts, and money. Anything to avoid the mutt in the next room. Fucking be nice, I know, I know. I am trying with Virgil; Braxton, the bad news keeps coming. I should try that. Yeah, gross; you’re so right, Braxton. Remember, I would watch you show out for your aunt, and I had to have the talk with you. Getting all Bobby Brown “Ain’t nobody humpin’ around.” That reminds me that I still need to pick a song on Spotify. Honest to God, Braxton, I don’t want to begin. Living, laughing, loving? Why is that shit so catchy? Because I’m still existing. For what? To exist and not know why, without you B. Bad News? Bad News B, V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

WillLeave a comment

If I want to be ashamed, I can look in the mirror. There’s seeing this one particular woman and getting hard? There are morning huddles at the Day Job. There’s also sitting on the bench when they say B’s sick. Nope dying. B Embarrassed Times 2V.

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as I said before, I’m not a snowflake, sissy, or snickering member of the GOP.

But I am a bad man. Not R. Kelly bad. More like I’m the bad guy because I do bad-guy things. Thank you, Henry “TLOU.” Worse than fantasizing about a woman I work with? It goes without saying but killing my son, the death of Triple B. Echo, that’s the 9th Circle for sure. Treachery. Of course, that’s been on my mind all January and this month. And not because I finished Succubus Lord yet again. And again, my boss these days… This brings me to Virgil. I keep saying I must be nicer to him. But even now, he’s in Braxton’s Room. All by his lonesome. Well, at least I ain’t masturbating; edging, at least. I’m working at the table after the Day Job.

Does some woman have me all revved up? Could it be that I enjoy being clean? That’s something else that’s been getting to me, Inspector. I wish I had found that clinical deodorant sooner. As in before my Granddaddy’s funeral. Not his death, but smelling funky. Inspector, I’m sure my Olds were all kinds of embarrassed, and my sister too. I don’t give a fuck about my Old Man, but he has something else to laugh about. It’s eating me up. Again what about Virgil? He needs his nails trimmed, a bath, and God knows what. Inspector, it requires money, movement, and, most importantly of all, people. Braxton never embarrassed me, and neither has Virgil. As Akon sings, “you can put the blame on me.”

And “I’ve tried so hard.” Obviously, not when looking up black role models. R. Kelly, my Old Man, Akon, (sigh). Hell! I’ll be the first to admit I don’t want to be good. Books, brothels, bullets, and/or biology. Go into a business where you’re always needed. The keyword there is always. And I’m always embarrassed, Inspector. This existence that I’m hoping to turn into my life someday… Where Braxton doesn’t feel the need to always protect me. Where Virgil doesn’t see me as a wicked monster. Inspector, I want to be someone good enough for one of these “friends.” Lusted for and loved. How about saying I’m who Braxton thinks I am? One day? I wish. Nope, walking with Virgil. Outside? B Embarrassed Times 2V

745 Days Without B III, Day 186 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 228 ~2V Minus B III~

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Not all lovey-dovey, but my first love… no ifs, ands, or buts. B III, without question. A life that I love as it won’t be mine own. And yet I continue to imagine it. Triple B was supposed to be a part of it but the years. I hate Math. 2V Minus B III.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Saga 228 ~2V Minus B III~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still want more. Don’t get me wrong. I hate Math now, like in school.

Hell! There was a week at the old Day Job where I made “around” $26.00. And having a billion now? I don’t know if either would have been enough to save my true love. Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but if I didn’t love you the other 364 days of the year, as always. Yes, I talk about my son B every day of the year. Well, make that two since B III died. Three considering he died thirteen days short of his sixteenth birthday. He’d be eighteen now. And I haven’t thought of chocolate, chrysanthemums, or cute jewelry, either, my love. There is a fantasy I have of fucking you wearing nothing but a crucifix or The Heart of The Ocean from Titanic.

Of course, making love to you, sex, or fucking, makes me the typical guy? Being your lover, your husband, your best friend… And, of course, we’re back to Braxton Barks… Eww! Am I right? I never understood how people were into that sort of pornography. Anyway, I know I must protect Braxton when I think of any chocolate. Yeah, poisonous. Chrysanthemums, Roses, and all kinds of flowers only make me think of Braxton in the yard. And as far as jewelry? Why haven’t I bought something to honor Braxton? Silver, Gold? How about today, being for diamonds? I love you. I’m trying not to burst into song but no promises. Only what did I promise you? I vowed, I swore. Till death? And without Braxton…

I didn’t mention hearts. And mine’s been broken going on 744 days. Losing my one. Honestly, I’m afraid that could cost me everything, and I don’t want it to, my love. I’m trying. But there’s a fur baby alone in Braxton’s room. The distance between you and me continues to grow. Fuck! You have no idea how hard that was. Four good songs, my love. If I can keep that promise, why can’t I add back what I lost? All the money in the world. Happy Valentine’s Day! I can give you a day. Then your birthday, anniversary, our kids. This is just one more day I’ve screwed up. Another negative. Three little words. I love you. But always and forever. 2V Minus B III

744 Days Without B III, Day 185 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will